Pørni (2021–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - Episode #3.4 - full transcript
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-Let's go inside.
-And let's just stay cool.
You handle the talking,
and I'll intervene if necessary.
Okay.
-Hi. Are you Cecilie?
-Yes.
Are Even and Sophie here?
Why do you ask?
Because Even has taken Sophie
without the mother's consent.
I'm from the Child Welfare Services.
There are ways of seeing his
daughter that are more appropriate.
Have the Child Welfare Services
opened a case?
No, not yet,
but I'm a friend of Ulrikke's.
So there's no case,
you're here as a friend,
and you're here on Christmas Eve.
With all due respect,
this is none of your business.
-Are you coming, Grandma?
-In a minute, sweetheart.
-And you are?
-Kenneth Larsen from the police.
-Has Even been reported?
-No.
Then this is really
none of your business, either.
I'm a District Court judge,
and I'd be happy to call your boss.
It won't put me out to press charges
for harassment.
-I just want to talk to Even.
-I suggest you go home.
Okay. I guess it's a slight setback
that she's a judge.
Yeah. Some people are like that.
-Look here.
-Look at that.
It's like Rasmus said.
He usually goes home to his mother.
SUCK IT UP
Yes. Yes.
I hear what you're saying, Cecilie,
but I'm a grandparent, too.
My child is not unfit
to be a mother, and I...
She hung up. She just...
But she said I can pick up Sophie
and spend an hour with her.
-Tor-Erling...
-Her son has made her frayed.
You have to report this.
Then the Child Welfare Services
will automatically be involved.
-I thought you worked there.
-You have to do it formally.
Then a case will be opened,
and it will be easier
for us to step in.
-We're going home to Gol, Dad.
-Okay.
I'm tired of everyone having
an opinion on how to solve this.
-Ulrikke...
-If I stay with Dad, we'll be safer.
Ulrikke... you can get help,
but you need
to involve the authorities.
I feel like I have
to handle this myself.
Gol is my town, not his.
I know everyone there.
I can have a life there.
You know what?
This is the way it's going to be.
-Yes.
-Ulrikke...
Wow! Did you get
Grandma's fur coat for Christmas?
Yes. But it's mink, so it's
the worst thing you can wear.
But it's vintage.
Grandma got it in the '70s.
Does it fit with your new style?
No, but I'm changing my style,
to a '50s pin-up look.
I have to build up my wardrobe
around this fur coat.
Start from scratch.
You can't start from scratch
every other week, Sigrid.
That's not very sustainable.
FROM RASMUS: ULRIKKE AND DAD WENT
TO GOL WITH SOPHIE. IT FEELS SAFER.
Can we shop for New Year's Eve?
I'm having Middle Eastern food
from Aicha Bouhlou.
It's Christmas Day.
The shops are closed.
We'll have to wait a few days.
-Have you only invited girls?
-Eight girls and two boys.
Nils and Jonas.
Do we have barbecue skewers?
For shish kebabs?
No, but Tuva has things like that.
I'll ask her.
Hi. I'm just wondering
how you're doing.
I packed Jeanette's things today.
Including the baby oil.
That's great.
I have a job-related question.
Could you call the cops in Gol
and ask them to surveil a house?
Jesus Christ, Pernille.
Don't you ever take time off?
- Absolutely not.
-Okay.
Sorry. The plumber is here.
I'll join you for New Year's,
if the offer still stands.
-It does. We'll talk later.
- Yeah. Bye.
That should do it.
There's so much grease stuck
in peoples' pipes during Christmas.
-Really?
-Yeah, loads.
Just remember to never use Plumbo.
Only drain cleaner.
You can get it at Jernia.
-Was the Manchego okay?
-It was great. Thank you.
Just call if you need anything else.
Okay. Thank you so much.
-Bye. Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas!
-Hi!
-Hi!
Did you get Grandma's mink coat?
I've wanted that for years!
Sigrid can handle anti-fur activists
better than you can.
I'm getting a new roommate,
by the way. Anna's going to Brazil.
Leonel. He's a bodybuilder,
and he's really handsome,
and he works at Jet Lounge,
which is impossible to get into.
And he's single.
All these men are making me worried.
You're being careful, right?
- Sure.
-I'm having meze on New Year's.
-Middle Eastern tapas.
- Nice.
And congrats on fist-fucking Pørni
with that high-school party story.
Okay, fine.
Just backstab your mother.
I'm a bit chilly,
so I'm going inside.
Do you have the number
for a liquor taxi?
Don't try me. I'm not that gullible.
Do you have fake IDs?
Look here. Twelve kebab skewers.
I bought them in Marrakesh in 2009.
-Only used twice. You're welcome.
-You'll get them back.
Hey, I'd love
to invite you in for coffee,
but we're going
to a family gathering, so...
Hey, sorry for being so strict.
I've just been a bit worried.
Don't be. But hey,
I just want to say...
-I've stopped sexting with that guy.
-Oh? What happened?
What happened?
Well, in the beginning,
it was so vulgar or porn-like.
He was fantasising about doing me
from behind at the altar
like an innocent, near-sighted
choir boy at his first communion.
-Okay.
-But at Christmas, it was just...
I don't know.
He's written things like,
"When I think of you,
I see the world anew.
I was blind, now I see." I mean...
Less vulgar, but he's sticking
to the optician theme.
Yeah, exactly. That's just it.
It just doesn't work for me.
Problem is,
these things tend to get out.
No, don't worry about it.
I mean, Lars is the least
alert person on the planet.
Hey, are you bringing someone
for New Year's?
We'll go skiing in the morning.
He won't join us for that,
but his name's Kenneth.
He works for the police.
He's a new friend.
-Okay. So not a date?
-No.
He's heartbroken, so no.
But hey,
I just thought of something.
I think Astrid is a little offended
on Lara's behalf
because Sigrid hasn't invited her
to the New Year's party.
Hasn't she invited her?
Don't shoot the messenger.
I just thought you should know.
Are you coming?
We have to get going.
Yeah, I just have to get changed.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
Trond! You have to stop playing!
We're leaving!
-See you on New Year's Eve.
-Good luck with that.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Sigrid. Why haven't you invited
Michaela and Lara to your party?
-Going to Copenhagen already?
-This is horrible.
Grandpa is in the kitchen.
Elisabeth picked him up.
I think he broke up with Stephen.
Okay.
The kebab skewers.
We'll talk more about this, okay?
I felt like royalty, at first.
But then I realised
that the reindeer pelts
and the dog sled
were because I'm old and tired.
There was nothing regal about me.
So I just left.
You don't have to break up
with Stephen just because
you get a sudden burst
of self-awareness.
You are old. Everyone knows that.
Stephen's such a decent human being.
He would do anything for me,
but he deserves better.
He deserves a boyfriend
who can give him something,
not someone who's just needy.
Aren't you being a little dramatic?
Très dramatique.
Stop it. Don't call me dramatic!
I'm rational, and I'm a doctor,
and I've seen people fall apart
over far less
than a knee prosthesis.
So with the benefit of hindsight...
we shouldn't have sold the house.
We should have redecorated my floor
into a senior apartment.
Like I suggested, you mean?
This isn't about your need
to always be right.
This time, it's about me.
I just don't think
you're being rational right now.
I'm not going to bother you either.
Tomorrow, I'll pick up my things
from Stephen's
and stay at Continental
with Elisabeth.
And then I'll find
an apartment after New Year's.
-You can stay here.
-I've booked a room at Continental.
I'm a little tired, so... Ouch!
Okay.
Don't make such a fuss.
I could invite whomever I wanted.
It's normal to grow apart.
I don't really hang out
with them right now.
I just think it's mean.
They're your friends,
and you just exclude them like that?
Invite them to your own party, then,
if you feel so sorry for them.
-Hi, Stephen.
- Where's Baldwin? He's not at home.
Are you back in Oslo?
He just left me,
so I got in the car right away.
He's at my place, but he's asleep.
I'll drive him over to you
once he's awake.
- Thank you.
-Okay.
I'll just pick up some clothes.
I'll get the rest after New Year's.
Yeah, you can do that.
Hi.
-My goodness. Are you home?
-Yes.
I'm sorry.
I'll come back another time.
No. Sit down.
Sit down.
-Should I...?
-No, you can hear this.
I'll sit down, too.
Right.
What you said in Bømlo isn't true.
I don't want a boyfriend who's fit
and goes skiing and kiting.
I want you.
-You think so now, but...
-Who are you to say what I think!
You're being
really selfish right now.
You're only thinking
about what you want.
I won't accept that
you just decide that it's over.
It's my decision too, and I...
Okay, so you can't kite.
Well, fuck that!
You can't decide that I won't
be a nurse and help fix your knee.
I will, and I'm good at it.
Okay, so you're a little old,
and you're going to need some help.
What if I want
to be there to help you?
Doesn't that mean anything?
Doesn't it mean something
that I love you?
I've grown really fond
of your daughter and the kids.
The kids...
And this apartment, which is ours.
It's not mine, but ours!
But I'm doing this for you!
I thought that...
You're not doing it for me,
but for yourself!
If you had done it for me,
you would have held me right now,
because I'm really upset.
I'm upset.
-I hope it's nothing serious?
-My mother can't cook anymore.
Tuva shouldn't have eaten
that herring.
She's done throwing up,
and now she's just sleeping
to be ready for tonight.
That's what's important.
Can't we go together, Astrid?
Isn't that romantic?
To leave the old year
behind together?
No, go on ahead. Walk off
that gastric volvulus incident,
and we'll get a chance to talk.
That's nice.
I got a gastric volvulus
on the third day.
It almost ended badly.
That's not supposed to happen.
It makes you lose confidence.
-But it ended well?
-Yes, it did.
I was able to sort it out.
But gastric volvulus
is a little tricky.
I think I've used the perfect
ski wax and just the right amount.
The conditions are tricky today.
What are you using?
Tuva got me skin skis for Christmas,
so I didn't have to wax them.
So you're using skin skis? Right.
Lead the way,
and I'll check how you're doing.
-Okay.
-Have fun.
Have fun. Bye.
Would you like some pointers
on your technique?
It's looking good.
Hey...
Would it be wrong to start out
with the blackcurrant toddy?
No, that would be just right.
I didn't know that Sigrid hadn't
invited Lara and Michaela. Sorry.
That's fine.
Lara seemed okay with it,
so I didn't make a fuss.
No, but you can be sure
that I'll make a fuss.
Did you hear
that Tuva dumped that optician?
Yes, I heard.
-Sorry.
-Don't you ever turn your phone off?
FROM RASMUS: EVEN CAME TO GOL,
BEAT UP MY DAD, AND TOOK SOPHIE.
It would be better
to watch porn, wouldn't it?
Sorry. I have to go.
Something serious has happened,
and I have to sort it out.
-Oh no!
-Can you catch up with the boys?
I actually enjoy skiing alone.
Tonight. Remember,
dress code: awesome.
Yeah. Hi. How's your dad?
-Hi, sweetheart.
-Hi.
-Wow. That looks delicious.
-Thank you.
Oh no! The faucet is dripping again.
Sorry, I just didn't
turn it off properly.
Okay.
-It looks like you're in control.
-Yeah.
-I'm actually a pretty good cook.
-So I see.
-What's for dessert?
-Coconut sorbet.
-I'd love to taste it.
-Only if there's enough.
Ole Petter, plumbing service.
Hi, OP, this is Pørni,
Pernille Middelthon, again.
So you're calling on New Year's Eve?
Did the tap go bust again?
No, it works perfectly.
Do you have the day off today?
No, I'm at work all night.
The holidays are a busy time for us.
-It's not too short?
-No.
I'm having some trouble with
the other thing you said you do.
That thing about
Thorvald Stoltenberg.
Oh, you're having dialogue trouble?
Yeah. Just give me ten seconds.
Do the front yourself.
I'll be back in 30 seconds.
Yes, I'm having
a serious dialogue problem.
Everyone has to leave
at one o'clock.
-Why are you leaving so early?
-Astrid needs help with the starter.
I'll call you at midnight
to wish you a happy New Year.
-Have a great party.
-You bet.
Even's mother is in Hemsedal,
so Even will be alone with Sophie.
-Won't they scare Sophie?
-No, they promised they wouldn't.
Hey, what the fuck!
-Okay. Get Sophie. I'll talk to him.
-Yeah.
Get him up.
You fucking psychopath.
I'll fucking press charges.
You do that. Then you'll be
reported for aggravated assault
against a 62-year-old
in his own home.
Who happens to be
your daughter's grandfather.
Look at this.
He has surveillance cameras
on his farm.
-You fucking cunt.
-You're the cunt here.
I've sent the video to your mum.
She can tell you what
her verdict would be in this case.
And you should accept
Ulrikke's offer of mediation.
And there's a place for you at ATV,
a really good course
where you'll learn anger management,
and OP will supervise you.
He can even drive you. Okay?
Yes. So we're in agreement?
See you later, Even.
Happy New Year!
-Okay, well... Best and worst?
-Yes.
Okay. The worst part of the year
was almost losing a patient.
-No?
-And the best part...
would have to be that Astrid
and I are moving in together.
-Wow!
-Why haven't you told me?
We haven't told the kids,
but it'll happen this summer.
-Congratulations!
-Cheers!
You're adorable.
I'm not going be one of those men
who cry a lot, but...
But she makes me a better person.
You're the best thing
that's happened to me
since Rolf Riis
at the hospital praised me
for a difficult appendectomy.
Okay. Let's move on to you.
-Best and worst parts of the year.
-I'll begin with the worst.
It involves
some jerry cans of baby oil.
Baby oil?
I broke up with my girlfriend
this Christmas.
She was a bit too young,
so I'm not that upset.
If we have time before the fireworks
and you're up for it,
you should tell that story.
It's so sick!
-Oh, you have to.
-I don't get it. Baby oil?
I'll just borrow your phone.
I'll call the kids before
the network breaks down.
Can't you use your own?
The battery's flat.
There's this trend among
young people to take risqué photos.
-It's normal, apparently.
-Yeah.
On the morning of Christmas Eve,
I got a calendar as a present.
She was on the cover,
glistening in oil.
-No?
-In a tiny negligee.
Tuva, can you come here?
I need to talk to you.
It's 11:58, Kenneth,
so you'll have to speed it up.
-Shouldn't we go outside?
-Yeah, let's go outside.
-Come on! It's 11:58!
-It's 11:58!
Should we enter the new year
to that song?
-Yes!
-It's not wrong, at least.
"Ei hand å holde i"
is probably Jørn Hoel's best song.
Yeah, seriously.
People make fun of Jørn Hoel,
but that song's a killer.
I've come to appreciate Jørn Hoel
more and more.
When I listen to him, I feel
that everything will be fine.
-Yes.
-That's true.
There's an underlying optimism.
"Inkululeko" and so on.
-What does that mean?
-It means "freedom".
If there's one thing we should bring
into the new year, it's optimism.
-Hey, five seconds to go!
-Five!
Five, four, three, two...
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
-Kjetil!
-Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, sweetheart!
I love you!
Happy New Year!
-Happy New Year, Kenneth!
-Happy New Year!
Sorry. Was that wrong?
No. It's not wrong.
I think I should go inside to Tuva.
-Happy New Year!
-Happy New Year!
Stay here as long as you need to.
The room is empty anyway.
That's very kind.
It's just so stupid...
Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Happy New Year.
-Weren't you going to Tromsø?
-Yeah.
But I came back today because...
I felt that
there was no time to lose.
I felt that I've lost you.
Completely.
I'll just go inside,
and you'll come when you're...
Isn't this something
you should say to Nina?
No. No, no. Nina, she's...
I've missed you so much.
Oh, God, how I've missed you.
Listen. I don't really know
what I'm doing here, but...
But as a wiser man
than me once said,
or woman, actually...
"I'm just a girl,
standing in front of a boy
begging him to love her."
Are you drunk?
Sure. Yes, I'm drunk.
I think we should talk
about this next year.
Okay. Yeah.
Technically, it's already next year.
Yeah, so this year,
but a little later.
-Go home.
-Yeah. I'll go home.
Damn, you live high up!
-Should I call you a taxi?
-No, that's fine.
It feels good to walk.
Hello!
Sigrid?
Sigrid?
Are you drunk?
Where are your guests?
They didn't come.
None of the guests came.
Michaela and Lara
had a counter-party.
Counter-party?
They invited everyone
that I had invited.
So they all went there
instead of here.
-Why?
-They hate me.
They think I'm ugly and smell bad.
I hate them,
and I hate New Year's Eve.
Oh, no. This is awful, sweetheart.
I hate my life.
I never want to see
any of them again.
I hate New Year's Eve.
You'll have to get used to it.
It's not going to get any better.
No, it just gets worse.
This is the worst day of the year.
Oh.
Oh, no. Oh, dear. Sweetheart...
---
-Let's go inside.
-And let's just stay cool.
You handle the talking,
and I'll intervene if necessary.
Okay.
-Hi. Are you Cecilie?
-Yes.
Are Even and Sophie here?
Why do you ask?
Because Even has taken Sophie
without the mother's consent.
I'm from the Child Welfare Services.
There are ways of seeing his
daughter that are more appropriate.
Have the Child Welfare Services
opened a case?
No, not yet,
but I'm a friend of Ulrikke's.
So there's no case,
you're here as a friend,
and you're here on Christmas Eve.
With all due respect,
this is none of your business.
-Are you coming, Grandma?
-In a minute, sweetheart.
-And you are?
-Kenneth Larsen from the police.
-Has Even been reported?
-No.
Then this is really
none of your business, either.
I'm a District Court judge,
and I'd be happy to call your boss.
It won't put me out to press charges
for harassment.
-I just want to talk to Even.
-I suggest you go home.
Okay. I guess it's a slight setback
that she's a judge.
Yeah. Some people are like that.
-Look here.
-Look at that.
It's like Rasmus said.
He usually goes home to his mother.
SUCK IT UP
Yes. Yes.
I hear what you're saying, Cecilie,
but I'm a grandparent, too.
My child is not unfit
to be a mother, and I...
She hung up. She just...
But she said I can pick up Sophie
and spend an hour with her.
-Tor-Erling...
-Her son has made her frayed.
You have to report this.
Then the Child Welfare Services
will automatically be involved.
-I thought you worked there.
-You have to do it formally.
Then a case will be opened,
and it will be easier
for us to step in.
-We're going home to Gol, Dad.
-Okay.
I'm tired of everyone having
an opinion on how to solve this.
-Ulrikke...
-If I stay with Dad, we'll be safer.
Ulrikke... you can get help,
but you need
to involve the authorities.
I feel like I have
to handle this myself.
Gol is my town, not his.
I know everyone there.
I can have a life there.
You know what?
This is the way it's going to be.
-Yes.
-Ulrikke...
Wow! Did you get
Grandma's fur coat for Christmas?
Yes. But it's mink, so it's
the worst thing you can wear.
But it's vintage.
Grandma got it in the '70s.
Does it fit with your new style?
No, but I'm changing my style,
to a '50s pin-up look.
I have to build up my wardrobe
around this fur coat.
Start from scratch.
You can't start from scratch
every other week, Sigrid.
That's not very sustainable.
FROM RASMUS: ULRIKKE AND DAD WENT
TO GOL WITH SOPHIE. IT FEELS SAFER.
Can we shop for New Year's Eve?
I'm having Middle Eastern food
from Aicha Bouhlou.
It's Christmas Day.
The shops are closed.
We'll have to wait a few days.
-Have you only invited girls?
-Eight girls and two boys.
Nils and Jonas.
Do we have barbecue skewers?
For shish kebabs?
No, but Tuva has things like that.
I'll ask her.
Hi. I'm just wondering
how you're doing.
I packed Jeanette's things today.
Including the baby oil.
That's great.
I have a job-related question.
Could you call the cops in Gol
and ask them to surveil a house?
Jesus Christ, Pernille.
Don't you ever take time off?
- Absolutely not.
-Okay.
Sorry. The plumber is here.
I'll join you for New Year's,
if the offer still stands.
-It does. We'll talk later.
- Yeah. Bye.
That should do it.
There's so much grease stuck
in peoples' pipes during Christmas.
-Really?
-Yeah, loads.
Just remember to never use Plumbo.
Only drain cleaner.
You can get it at Jernia.
-Was the Manchego okay?
-It was great. Thank you.
Just call if you need anything else.
Okay. Thank you so much.
-Bye. Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas!
-Hi!
-Hi!
Did you get Grandma's mink coat?
I've wanted that for years!
Sigrid can handle anti-fur activists
better than you can.
I'm getting a new roommate,
by the way. Anna's going to Brazil.
Leonel. He's a bodybuilder,
and he's really handsome,
and he works at Jet Lounge,
which is impossible to get into.
And he's single.
All these men are making me worried.
You're being careful, right?
- Sure.
-I'm having meze on New Year's.
-Middle Eastern tapas.
- Nice.
And congrats on fist-fucking Pørni
with that high-school party story.
Okay, fine.
Just backstab your mother.
I'm a bit chilly,
so I'm going inside.
Do you have the number
for a liquor taxi?
Don't try me. I'm not that gullible.
Do you have fake IDs?
Look here. Twelve kebab skewers.
I bought them in Marrakesh in 2009.
-Only used twice. You're welcome.
-You'll get them back.
Hey, I'd love
to invite you in for coffee,
but we're going
to a family gathering, so...
Hey, sorry for being so strict.
I've just been a bit worried.
Don't be. But hey,
I just want to say...
-I've stopped sexting with that guy.
-Oh? What happened?
What happened?
Well, in the beginning,
it was so vulgar or porn-like.
He was fantasising about doing me
from behind at the altar
like an innocent, near-sighted
choir boy at his first communion.
-Okay.
-But at Christmas, it was just...
I don't know.
He's written things like,
"When I think of you,
I see the world anew.
I was blind, now I see." I mean...
Less vulgar, but he's sticking
to the optician theme.
Yeah, exactly. That's just it.
It just doesn't work for me.
Problem is,
these things tend to get out.
No, don't worry about it.
I mean, Lars is the least
alert person on the planet.
Hey, are you bringing someone
for New Year's?
We'll go skiing in the morning.
He won't join us for that,
but his name's Kenneth.
He works for the police.
He's a new friend.
-Okay. So not a date?
-No.
He's heartbroken, so no.
But hey,
I just thought of something.
I think Astrid is a little offended
on Lara's behalf
because Sigrid hasn't invited her
to the New Year's party.
Hasn't she invited her?
Don't shoot the messenger.
I just thought you should know.
Are you coming?
We have to get going.
Yeah, I just have to get changed.
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
Trond! You have to stop playing!
We're leaving!
-See you on New Year's Eve.
-Good luck with that.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Sigrid. Why haven't you invited
Michaela and Lara to your party?
-Going to Copenhagen already?
-This is horrible.
Grandpa is in the kitchen.
Elisabeth picked him up.
I think he broke up with Stephen.
Okay.
The kebab skewers.
We'll talk more about this, okay?
I felt like royalty, at first.
But then I realised
that the reindeer pelts
and the dog sled
were because I'm old and tired.
There was nothing regal about me.
So I just left.
You don't have to break up
with Stephen just because
you get a sudden burst
of self-awareness.
You are old. Everyone knows that.
Stephen's such a decent human being.
He would do anything for me,
but he deserves better.
He deserves a boyfriend
who can give him something,
not someone who's just needy.
Aren't you being a little dramatic?
Très dramatique.
Stop it. Don't call me dramatic!
I'm rational, and I'm a doctor,
and I've seen people fall apart
over far less
than a knee prosthesis.
So with the benefit of hindsight...
we shouldn't have sold the house.
We should have redecorated my floor
into a senior apartment.
Like I suggested, you mean?
This isn't about your need
to always be right.
This time, it's about me.
I just don't think
you're being rational right now.
I'm not going to bother you either.
Tomorrow, I'll pick up my things
from Stephen's
and stay at Continental
with Elisabeth.
And then I'll find
an apartment after New Year's.
-You can stay here.
-I've booked a room at Continental.
I'm a little tired, so... Ouch!
Okay.
Don't make such a fuss.
I could invite whomever I wanted.
It's normal to grow apart.
I don't really hang out
with them right now.
I just think it's mean.
They're your friends,
and you just exclude them like that?
Invite them to your own party, then,
if you feel so sorry for them.
-Hi, Stephen.
- Where's Baldwin? He's not at home.
Are you back in Oslo?
He just left me,
so I got in the car right away.
He's at my place, but he's asleep.
I'll drive him over to you
once he's awake.
- Thank you.
-Okay.
I'll just pick up some clothes.
I'll get the rest after New Year's.
Yeah, you can do that.
Hi.
-My goodness. Are you home?
-Yes.
I'm sorry.
I'll come back another time.
No. Sit down.
Sit down.
-Should I...?
-No, you can hear this.
I'll sit down, too.
Right.
What you said in Bømlo isn't true.
I don't want a boyfriend who's fit
and goes skiing and kiting.
I want you.
-You think so now, but...
-Who are you to say what I think!
You're being
really selfish right now.
You're only thinking
about what you want.
I won't accept that
you just decide that it's over.
It's my decision too, and I...
Okay, so you can't kite.
Well, fuck that!
You can't decide that I won't
be a nurse and help fix your knee.
I will, and I'm good at it.
Okay, so you're a little old,
and you're going to need some help.
What if I want
to be there to help you?
Doesn't that mean anything?
Doesn't it mean something
that I love you?
I've grown really fond
of your daughter and the kids.
The kids...
And this apartment, which is ours.
It's not mine, but ours!
But I'm doing this for you!
I thought that...
You're not doing it for me,
but for yourself!
If you had done it for me,
you would have held me right now,
because I'm really upset.
I'm upset.
-I hope it's nothing serious?
-My mother can't cook anymore.
Tuva shouldn't have eaten
that herring.
She's done throwing up,
and now she's just sleeping
to be ready for tonight.
That's what's important.
Can't we go together, Astrid?
Isn't that romantic?
To leave the old year
behind together?
No, go on ahead. Walk off
that gastric volvulus incident,
and we'll get a chance to talk.
That's nice.
I got a gastric volvulus
on the third day.
It almost ended badly.
That's not supposed to happen.
It makes you lose confidence.
-But it ended well?
-Yes, it did.
I was able to sort it out.
But gastric volvulus
is a little tricky.
I think I've used the perfect
ski wax and just the right amount.
The conditions are tricky today.
What are you using?
Tuva got me skin skis for Christmas,
so I didn't have to wax them.
So you're using skin skis? Right.
Lead the way,
and I'll check how you're doing.
-Okay.
-Have fun.
Have fun. Bye.
Would you like some pointers
on your technique?
It's looking good.
Hey...
Would it be wrong to start out
with the blackcurrant toddy?
No, that would be just right.
I didn't know that Sigrid hadn't
invited Lara and Michaela. Sorry.
That's fine.
Lara seemed okay with it,
so I didn't make a fuss.
No, but you can be sure
that I'll make a fuss.
Did you hear
that Tuva dumped that optician?
Yes, I heard.
-Sorry.
-Don't you ever turn your phone off?
FROM RASMUS: EVEN CAME TO GOL,
BEAT UP MY DAD, AND TOOK SOPHIE.
It would be better
to watch porn, wouldn't it?
Sorry. I have to go.
Something serious has happened,
and I have to sort it out.
-Oh no!
-Can you catch up with the boys?
I actually enjoy skiing alone.
Tonight. Remember,
dress code: awesome.
Yeah. Hi. How's your dad?
-Hi, sweetheart.
-Hi.
-Wow. That looks delicious.
-Thank you.
Oh no! The faucet is dripping again.
Sorry, I just didn't
turn it off properly.
Okay.
-It looks like you're in control.
-Yeah.
-I'm actually a pretty good cook.
-So I see.
-What's for dessert?
-Coconut sorbet.
-I'd love to taste it.
-Only if there's enough.
Ole Petter, plumbing service.
Hi, OP, this is Pørni,
Pernille Middelthon, again.
So you're calling on New Year's Eve?
Did the tap go bust again?
No, it works perfectly.
Do you have the day off today?
No, I'm at work all night.
The holidays are a busy time for us.
-It's not too short?
-No.
I'm having some trouble with
the other thing you said you do.
That thing about
Thorvald Stoltenberg.
Oh, you're having dialogue trouble?
Yeah. Just give me ten seconds.
Do the front yourself.
I'll be back in 30 seconds.
Yes, I'm having
a serious dialogue problem.
Everyone has to leave
at one o'clock.
-Why are you leaving so early?
-Astrid needs help with the starter.
I'll call you at midnight
to wish you a happy New Year.
-Have a great party.
-You bet.
Even's mother is in Hemsedal,
so Even will be alone with Sophie.
-Won't they scare Sophie?
-No, they promised they wouldn't.
Hey, what the fuck!
-Okay. Get Sophie. I'll talk to him.
-Yeah.
Get him up.
You fucking psychopath.
I'll fucking press charges.
You do that. Then you'll be
reported for aggravated assault
against a 62-year-old
in his own home.
Who happens to be
your daughter's grandfather.
Look at this.
He has surveillance cameras
on his farm.
-You fucking cunt.
-You're the cunt here.
I've sent the video to your mum.
She can tell you what
her verdict would be in this case.
And you should accept
Ulrikke's offer of mediation.
And there's a place for you at ATV,
a really good course
where you'll learn anger management,
and OP will supervise you.
He can even drive you. Okay?
Yes. So we're in agreement?
See you later, Even.
Happy New Year!
-Okay, well... Best and worst?
-Yes.
Okay. The worst part of the year
was almost losing a patient.
-No?
-And the best part...
would have to be that Astrid
and I are moving in together.
-Wow!
-Why haven't you told me?
We haven't told the kids,
but it'll happen this summer.
-Congratulations!
-Cheers!
You're adorable.
I'm not going be one of those men
who cry a lot, but...
But she makes me a better person.
You're the best thing
that's happened to me
since Rolf Riis
at the hospital praised me
for a difficult appendectomy.
Okay. Let's move on to you.
-Best and worst parts of the year.
-I'll begin with the worst.
It involves
some jerry cans of baby oil.
Baby oil?
I broke up with my girlfriend
this Christmas.
She was a bit too young,
so I'm not that upset.
If we have time before the fireworks
and you're up for it,
you should tell that story.
It's so sick!
-Oh, you have to.
-I don't get it. Baby oil?
I'll just borrow your phone.
I'll call the kids before
the network breaks down.
Can't you use your own?
The battery's flat.
There's this trend among
young people to take risqué photos.
-It's normal, apparently.
-Yeah.
On the morning of Christmas Eve,
I got a calendar as a present.
She was on the cover,
glistening in oil.
-No?
-In a tiny negligee.
Tuva, can you come here?
I need to talk to you.
It's 11:58, Kenneth,
so you'll have to speed it up.
-Shouldn't we go outside?
-Yeah, let's go outside.
-Come on! It's 11:58!
-It's 11:58!
Should we enter the new year
to that song?
-Yes!
-It's not wrong, at least.
"Ei hand å holde i"
is probably Jørn Hoel's best song.
Yeah, seriously.
People make fun of Jørn Hoel,
but that song's a killer.
I've come to appreciate Jørn Hoel
more and more.
When I listen to him, I feel
that everything will be fine.
-Yes.
-That's true.
There's an underlying optimism.
"Inkululeko" and so on.
-What does that mean?
-It means "freedom".
If there's one thing we should bring
into the new year, it's optimism.
-Hey, five seconds to go!
-Five!
Five, four, three, two...
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
-Kjetil!
-Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, sweetheart!
I love you!
Happy New Year!
-Happy New Year, Kenneth!
-Happy New Year!
Sorry. Was that wrong?
No. It's not wrong.
I think I should go inside to Tuva.
-Happy New Year!
-Happy New Year!
Stay here as long as you need to.
The room is empty anyway.
That's very kind.
It's just so stupid...
Hi.
-Hi.
-Hi.
Happy New Year.
-Weren't you going to Tromsø?
-Yeah.
But I came back today because...
I felt that
there was no time to lose.
I felt that I've lost you.
Completely.
I'll just go inside,
and you'll come when you're...
Isn't this something
you should say to Nina?
No. No, no. Nina, she's...
I've missed you so much.
Oh, God, how I've missed you.
Listen. I don't really know
what I'm doing here, but...
But as a wiser man
than me once said,
or woman, actually...
"I'm just a girl,
standing in front of a boy
begging him to love her."
Are you drunk?
Sure. Yes, I'm drunk.
I think we should talk
about this next year.
Okay. Yeah.
Technically, it's already next year.
Yeah, so this year,
but a little later.
-Go home.
-Yeah. I'll go home.
Damn, you live high up!
-Should I call you a taxi?
-No, that's fine.
It feels good to walk.
Hello!
Sigrid?
Sigrid?
Are you drunk?
Where are your guests?
They didn't come.
None of the guests came.
Michaela and Lara
had a counter-party.
Counter-party?
They invited everyone
that I had invited.
So they all went there
instead of here.
-Why?
-They hate me.
They think I'm ugly and smell bad.
I hate them,
and I hate New Year's Eve.
Oh, no. This is awful, sweetheart.
I hate my life.
I never want to see
any of them again.
I hate New Year's Eve.
You'll have to get used to it.
It's not going to get any better.
No, it just gets worse.
This is the worst day of the year.
Oh.
Oh, no. Oh, dear. Sweetheart...