Pørni (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Walk of shame and no glory - full transcript

Hey, Pernille!

I didn't want to wake you,
but I had to go to work.

A cleaner's coming at ten, but
just stay as long as you like.

And don't forget that we have
an imminent violation date. Bye!

- Hey.
- Hey.

I didn't know anyone was home.

- Are you the cleaning person?
- Yes.

I'm Bjørnar's ex-girlfriend.
I'm just here to deliver this.

Is it okay if I...?
Or should I...?

No, you can just...
put it there, yes.

- Yeah. Okay.
- Okay.



Great. Thanks.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

SUCK IT UP

From Finn: Can you ask Sigrid
not to call after 9:15 pm?

Give me a break.

- Hey!
- Sorry. Hi.

- Are you going to see Ole... Dad?
- Yeah, Baldwin.

- I'm his daughter.
- Pørni? Nice to meet you.

- I'm Stephen.
- Nice to meet you.

- You're coming on Saturday?
- Yes.

I was planning on meeting you
then, looking more presentable.

Dad has already ordered chicken.
He said you love chicken.

- Hey, Stephen.
- Hey.



Pørni, this is Stephen.

We talked about how long it will be
before you get your driver's license.

No, I didn't say that.

We're going to Kikut, so you
don't need to make dinner.

- Okay. Have a nice trip!
- Thanks.

- It was nice seeing you.
- Nice to meet you too.

- I look forward to meeting everyone.
- They will all be here.

- It's very nice here.
- Thanks. Have a nice trip!

HAVE A NICE DAY, BABY KIDNAPPER!

Oh, Torunn...

Give it a rest.

- Hi.
- Hi. Hi, Sigrid.

- Is Felix home?
- Yes.

Felix, come here.

Hi. Sorry I took your AirPods.

It's okay.

I wrote a letter, and Mom told me to
ask if you want to go to the movies.

- It's her treat.
- It's your treat.

- What movie?
- The new Marvel movie.

Just the two of us?

- Ew, are you insane?
- Sigrid.

Sorry. No, there'll
be others there too.

Sure, unless there's
soccer practice.

Okay. See you at school.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- See you at choir practice.
- Thanks. Bye.

Can we please go home now?

No, we still have the
300 kroner for Hennika,

Jenny's Hummel bag, Leah's
watch and Ismail's magic pen.

If there's anything else,
you need to tell me.

These. They belong to Katinka.
But it was more like a loan.

You asked to borrow them?

No, but I wasn't going
to not give them back.

Please don't use double negations.
There's nothing worse than that.

Can we go home?

No, we're not going home before
you're done with this walk of shame

and have returned
absolutely everything.

From Municipal-Bjørnar:
Miss you!

Very good. Let's try it once
with just Torill and no choir.

And I think it might be better
if you try to hold back a little.

Let's take it from...

Okay.

He hasn't cleaned out all her
stuff. Is that good or bad?

I mean, it could be both.

Okay?

He's either totally
over her, or not at all.

Okay.

It's so beautiful.

Good, Torill.

Just hold back a little more,
but otherwise this was great.

Allow the lyrics
speak for themselves.

Okay, let's take 15 minutes.

Then we'll start with "Pål's
Chickens" after the break.

- Was she mean?
- No, she was really nice,

and insanely pretty.

But why did he leave her?

She cheated on him with a
colleague at the hospital.

Good for you. Those
are the best lays.

Men getting back at their
exes. You can quote me on that.

No, don't say things like that.

Pørni's not a rebound,
and Bjørnar's a great guy.

Torill, you sang that so beautifully.
Better than Jannicke Kruse.

Thank you, but the song
is just really powerful.

And it made a great
impression in the movie.

You have to feel that,

since you work with women who
go through things like that.

It was portrayed realistically
in the movie, don't you think?

No, it wasn't all
that realistic.

Right.

But the song makes a big impact.

Sorry, I have to call Elsa.
She probably needs money.

- Pørni, can I talk to you later?
- Yes, of course.

Why do you say stuff like that?
Can't you just play along?

But it's unrealistic
for an abused woman

to have the confidence to
stand up and just sing out loud

"I want to feel alive"
in front of 700 people!

That's like swearing in church,
so to speak, or literally.

Nordberg Choir!

Let's leave the coffee and
chitchat down here and go back up.

We need to talk about
the food photographer.

- What about him?
- He called yesterday, furious.

He said I had given
him chlamydia.

That's the last time I spread
my legs for someone under 40.

But you could've
given him chlamydia.

Why are you saying that?

Because she slept with Lara and
Sigrid's teacher, Hans Petter,

and he has chlamydia.

What? No one told me.

Did Sigrid tell you that?
Why didn't you say anything?

Sorry. I just felt that
it was a bit gossipy.

Jesus.

Pørni?

Did Sigrid say anything about
taking other stuff from Felix?

- No.
- You see, he can't find his wallet.

And I felt that I
had to say something.

It's important that we adults
communicate openly, right?

- Very important. I'll talk to her.
- Okay. Thanks.

Sorry, I almost forgot
the shin guards.

Are we having Taco Thursday?

Is there anything
you want to tell me?

- No.
- Okay.

I'm not in love with Mathias.
Stop asking me about that.

Is there anything you want
to tell me about stealing?

No, I haven't stolen
anything else.

It's just strange that Felix's
mother says he can't find his wallet.

Mom, get a grip. I haven't
stolen anything from Felix.

I'm so mad at you!

It's one thing to steal
from your classmates,

but then you fucking keep on
doing it after you were caught,

and you have the nerve to lie
to my face! Out of the car!

- But I didn't do it, Mom!
- Get out.

- Mom!
- Get out of the car!

- I didn't do it.
- I don't want to see your face!

- Listen to me! I didn't do it!
- Close the door!

- You have to believe me!
- No!

- Bitch!
- Close the door!

I have an appointment.
Sorry for being late.

- English, please. Name?
- Pernille Middelthon.

Please take a seat.

But the next time
when you are late,

please call and let us know.

Sorry, I got a bit
stuck in traffic.

First time?

For nails? Yes.

- Gel or acryl?
- Sorry?

Just give me your hand.

Okay, you have very short nails.

So next time before you book your
appointment, you need to call us.

Yeah. Sorry.

Hey.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Sorry about last time. You're
not exactly the cleaner.

No, I'm the one who should
apologize. I could have... Sorry.

Yeah.

Are you doing your nails?

I got a gift card from the
Stovner Police Department

because I held a
lecture for them.

Wow. That was nice.

I guess you don't get many perks
in the Child Welfare Services.

No, that's for sure.

Are you working in Barnevernet?

So you understand Norwegian?

A little.

I have to run. It was
nice to properly meet you.

Very nice to...

Sorry.

- Did you cut her finger?
- Sometimes it happens.

People get hurt in Barnevernet.

- Maybe you should bandage it.
- No, it'll be fine.

Get someone to look at it. I
have to run to a yoga class.

Thanks for the help.

Hey, I just want to say

I'm very glad
Bjørnar's doing well.

- Okay. Bye.
- Bye.

Torstein?

How was Charlie today?

Things are starting
to get better,

but we've been worried that
he might do something stupid.

We've prayed for him.

He's been really down.

Down? He's not the only one.

But with children to take care of,
you shouldn't wallow in remorse.

- Suck on the lollipop of grief.
- Dad.

Let's talk about the confirmation.
That's why you're here.

The confirmation costs
40,000. I'll pay 20,000.

Maybe you could pay the rest?

Or Charlie, providing
he put something aside.

Yes...

Torstein and I find it a bit odd
that nobody asked for our opinion

about the secular confirmation.

What do you mean by "opinion"?

It's not that we don't want to
help out with the confirmation,

but confirmation is a
Christian tradition.

We find it strange that we're
expected to contribute financially

to something we
don't believe in,

or that we would have
liked to do differently.

Confirmation's one of the first
big decisions a young person makes,

and Leo wants a
secular confirmation.

Yes, of course it is.

And that's why we should've
been involved in the discussion.

You could have talked
to Leo anytime.

Like when you were in Tenerife with
all the grandchildren, except Leo.

You could have come to his
birthdays or called him.

Then you could
have talked to him.

Can we focus on the confirmation and
talk about the other issues later?

It's all connected.

Leo has two healthy grandparents
who don't do shit for him

in the fucked up
situation he's in.

You haven't invited him to
Granvin, you don't call him,

and now you want a say in this
confirmation? It doesn't make sense!

No, it might not make sense.

But we have a son who's
paralyzed from the waist down.

And Leo told us right to
our face in Anne's funeral

that he hates us and his father.

So we thought he didn't
want to be with us.

- That he needed time to himself.
- Birgitte...

No, wait.

Of course he says
that he hates you.

He doesn't hate you.
He's pissed off.

But you're the ones who
have to bang on his door

and be there for him.

He's just a kid, and you're adults.
It's your job to be there for him.

I need some air. Excuse me.

It's good to ventilate.

Hello?

I'm not talking to you before
you show me that wallet.

That temper... You
got that from me.

Sorry about that.

They're shitty people.

To think that such shitty people
can have a nice son like Charlie.

You're being unfair.
They're not shitty people.

He's not, anyway.

They're just Christian
conservatives from Western Norway.

They deal with problems by
pretending everything's fine.

That doesn't make
them shitty people.

Do I have to call and apologize?

No, you don't. Birgitte's
the one who should apologize.

By the way, I tried to lighten
the mood after you left.

I told them I'm
in a relationship.

With a man.

- That must have lightened the mood.
- Sure did.

Next they'll be
requesting custody of Leo.

Don't joke about that.

Would they do that? They
can't afford a teenager.

They're not just shitty
people, they're stingy, too.

- Your smoking worries me.
- Sorry. I have to take this.

Okay.

- Hi, Torill.
- Hey, you.

I'm sorry, but we
found Felix's wallet.

He lost it at the
cinema. I'm really sorry.

No, I understand, with
the history and all that.

- No...
- It's fine.

Okay, see you at choir practice.

The "Of Course It Hurts when Buds
Break" concert is coming up soon.

Yes, as if anyone will buy tickets
to a concert with a name like that.

I love the name.

- It was actually my suggestion.
- I see.

- Okay, I'll see you.
- Okay. Bye.

Can you remind me not to say
all my thoughts out loud?

- Sigrid, can I come in for a minute?
- No.

Felix's mom called and said they
found the wallet at the cinema.

I want to apologize
for being so angry.

You never believe me.

Is Grandpa's boyfriend coming
over for dinner on Saturday?

You didn't believe that
I scored at Norway Cup.

You didn't watch
the semi-finals.

I'm going out on Saturday.
Can we have an early dinner?

It's a little hard to trust
you after those thefts.

By the way, I got fired from
McDonald's, but it wasn't my fault.

I was late twice.

Twice.

Can this wait? I'm talking
to Sigrid right now.

I always want to
watch you play soccer.

But I'm an idiot.

Sometimes I just forget.

I'm sorry, Sigrid.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Are you leaving?
- Yes.

- Who are you meeting?
- I'm meeting Nina.

The one with the
superglue thing.

Maj-Lis asked if she could take the
twins to the mountain this weekend.

So if you don't have any plans for
Saturday, maybe we could have dinner?

Going out to eat, not just in...

Even though your garage is
super nice. I like it a lot.

Yes, I'd love to, but Dad's
boyfriend's coming over.

For dinner. But I could
make it a bit early.

It'll be fine.
Where are we going?

We're going to a place
of your choosing.

Okay.

- Okay, I really have to...
- Yeah, I have to...

Nina is waiting.

- Bye.
- Bye.

That salad was splendid.

- That's all Leo.
- Really?

The world's easiest salad. It's
just walnuts, mango and spinach.

That's just it. I love
those simple things.

What do you think about Dad's chances
of getting his driver's license?

Most older people need a long
time to learn something new,

but not Baldwin. You're so
focused. He's really good.

If you and Grandpa move in together,
will you give us free lessons?

Hey, where are your manners?

Leo, can you decide whether you want
tapas or not? I have to order soon.

I don't know, but Grandpa
sent me 500 kroner yesterday.

- Okay?
- Isn't that weird? He never...

Sigrid, no phones at the table.

I guess he realized he forgot to
send you something for your birthday.

I have to leave now, but
it was nice meeting you.

We're having banana
bread for dessert.

I have to stop by Emma before
we meet Tellef on the bus.

By the way, Tuva's husband
got you a job at Elkjøp.

- Elkjøp?
- Not one bad word about Elkjøp.

You told me that all the
parents get jobs for their kids.

I got you one. I'm the
mother of the year.

A student of mine works at
Elkjøp. He's really happy.

Hey! Phones at the table.
Didn't we agree...?

It's Charlie.

Hey, you.

Yes. Just a moment.

Do you want to speak to Dad?

- Sure.
- He's coming.

Hi.

Hey.

Hi. Yeah. What about you?

Yeah, it's fine.

Okay. See you. Bye.

He asked if he could come to the
confirmation. I said it was fine.

You did?

- Mom, can we watch a movie tonight?
- No, I'm going out.

- Where are you going?
- I'm just meeting some colleagues.

Are you going on a date? With who?
If it's Hans Petter, I'll cut myself.

No, I'm not going on a
date. Grandpa's here and...

You're going on a date. I can
see it. You have slut face, Mom.

You're way too old for that!

Hey, stop it.

- You're so cringe. Can I be excused?
- Go ahead.

- I'm sorry.
- No, I have kids in junior high too.

Pørni, your kids are great.

And they make really good food.

And then he signed
up for croquis.

It's sounds like a cliché, but
we didn't talk before that dinner

when I ended up next to you.

I was nervous at first,

but that stopped because it
was so easy to talk to you.

I thought you were a bit young.

And that you probably
had a girlfriend.

But I didn't.

Can I make a confession?

- Oh, no.
- No, it's good.

And a bit
embarrassing, but good.

I always ask to get your cases.

Always.

I love sitting in the car with
you after, when you drive me home.

And I've felt that for a long time.
Since the seminar, when we met.

- Whoa. Sorry.
- That's fine.

Wow. She wanted to
get in your pants.

- Her?
- Yeah.

- But she has really short tits.
- Not interested.

Sorry.

From Hanna: Elkjøp wants me
to work FIVE days a week.

Teenagers.

What do you think? Do we have time
to drink another bottle of wine

before I bring you
home and violate you?

Okay.

Damn. Sorry. I can't
even mute this.

From Dad: Torstein and Birgitte
want Leo to live at Granvin.

What?

Just Leo's insane grandparents.

Should we order
another bottle of wine?

Oh, my God.

She has dressed up, or at least
tried to, but it's no use.

She's still old.

- She could be his mom. What the fuck?
- It's insane.

Can't she just go
to Gambia instead?

- He's just fuck-blind.
- Yes, that's exactly what he is.

He'll leave her.
Anyone can see that.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Do you think she heard us?
- Yes.

- You're 13 years younger than me.
- Pretty nice.

Did you know that "mature"

plus "big tits" is the most
searched category on Pornhub?

No, you have to listen to me.

You're younger than
me, you have two kids,

you'll eventually want more
kids, and I'm close to menopause.

I had a surgery on one knee,
and I'll have to do the other.

I'll never be able to run after
twins who fall down the stairs.

- Hey...
- Do you know what I do?

I call my sister, even though
she's been dead for six months.

I leave stupid messages
on her voicemail.

- Has something...?
- We can't...

You don't deserve all my mess.

It's wrong that you
and I are drinking wine

and are about to violate each
other back at your place.

- Why is that wrong?
- Because you're fuck-blind.

And so am I. This isn't
going to end well.

I'm sorry.

- Sorry.
- No...

- But...
- I just need my coat.

Are you...?

You've reached Anne.
Please send an SMS

and don't leave a message, because
I won't listen to it anyway.

I'll call back as
soon as possible. Bye!

Hi.

I don't know if it's because
I'm really, really smart or

the world's biggest idiot,

but I think I just broke
up with the man of my life.

Sorry.