American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 11, Episode 5 - Bad Fortune - full transcript

- no, no, no, no, no.

Uh, it w... It was great until
you did that nasal thing.

I need you to be an
authentic replica of me

and not a rude impersonation.

Okay, let's take ten, and
then we'll run the whole show.

You, a word.

I'm keeping all the
nightly performance fees,

but what tips you make
are yours from now on.

The honor to perform as you
is enough payment alone.

cut the bullshit.

You're doing me a solid here,

but I've got better things
to do than sing background

for blow jobs and teabagging.

So, the new business
is going well?


Kathy, you have a phone call.

- Sounds urgent.
- See what I mean?



You've got to be
fucking kidding me.

We're closed.

The sign outside
says you're open.

Ugh! I forgot to turn it around.

Both my psychics
quit on me this week.

You want your fortune told,

order something from the chinese
restaurant across the street.

I don't want my fortune told.

I came in because of
the help wanted sign.

Are you willing to
work a night shift,

10:00 to 3:00?

2:00 is when all
the boys come out,

and they love
talking with readers.

Get a few drinks in
them, and suddenly

they want to know the future.

It's getting crazier lately.

I wouldn't be surprised
if it had something to do

with all the disappearances.

I'll do whatever it takes.

I need a paying job.

I'm fran.

Do you have any experience
with tarot cards, fran?

Not really.

I'll take that as a no.

you need to fill this out.

Tarot deck plus instructions.

Come back tomorrow night

with a decent working
knowledge of the cards,

I'll start you right up.

Don't you want to
know if I'm a psychic?

I already know.
It doesn't exist.

If psychics were real,
they'd be millionaires

from playing the stock market.

This is entertainment, honey.

A carnival show.

Cheaper than a shrink and
guaranteed to make your day.

Oh, the most important thing
is that the customer leaves

feeling better than
when they came in,

so no bad news.

crazy wealth.

Trip to paris.

romance with the
guy or gal of their dreams.

Do that and you're gold.

By lying to vulnerable folk
who are desperate for help?

By telling them what
they want to hear.

What, you think they walk in
to learn they have lung cancer?

They want a reason to
get up in the morning.

Well, I've never been
one to fake an orgasm,

let alone fake optimism
about the state of the world.

You know, actually,

I think I might be a
little bit psychic.

Sometimes I have these dreams,

and then I read about something
in the paper the next day...

That's fascinating, kreskin.

See you tomorrow?

I mean, on the one hand,
this seems kind of sleezy,

but on the other hand,
what she says makes sense.

It's entertainment.

I mean, that's what
movies and tv shows do.

I mean, the last part of
the hour of trapper john,

he always saves the
sick little girl.

Well, I guess you
talked yourself into it.

All right,

what do you think?

I think you need the money, and
this sounds like a good gig.

I mean, you can't live on
freelancing at the native.

Figure out the fucking
tarot cards yet?

I can't tell the devil
from the hanged man,

but I'll get it.

And I need something to get me

through this shitty summer.

Well, I got something
that can get you through.

Come over here. Let me
tear off your clothes.

No. No...

no. I've got to
study these cards.

I mean, I at least have
to make it look good.

But you know what? I'll come by
before work and say hi, okay?

And maybe I'll even
give you a free reading.


everyone says being
pregnant is so stressful.

Hormones pumping,
making you crazy.

But I've never been more
centered or happier,

despite everything
that's going on.

Probably 'cause you're already
a little crazy to begin with.

The hormones just
sort of level you out.

you're gonna be a
great mom, face it.

That's a lucky kid.

Especially since it won't
have me as a father.

Well, technically
you are the father.

I am your father.

are you doing?

Correction, I am
the sperm donor,

and I'm perfectly
happy about that.

What do you think it's gonna be?

A boy or a girl?

What if we don't have to guess?

I don't
believe in that stuff.

Let's go in, it'll be fun.

Come on.

oh. Hi.


- What are you doing here?
- I work here now.

Wait, don't you
work at the native?

Well, I write some
articles for them.

somebody had
to get the word out.

Fortune telling, government
conspiracy theories...

I'm guessing you're a
ufo fanatic as well.

Everything I told you
about plumb island is

the god's honest truth.

Did you even bother following up
on any of the leads I gave you?

What are you two
even talking about?

I've been looking
into some of it.

Then maybe we've been brought

back together
again for a reason.

This place draws you in.

It chose you just
the way it chose me.

Okay. let's
get out of here.

You're with child.

Well, that much is obvious.

But that question in your heart,

I can tell you what it
is you want to know.

fuck it.

One card, one chance,

and then we're out of here.


that question that you have...

Hold it in your mind
while you cut the deck.

It's important to have
that energy in the cards.

huh, the queen of
pentacles. Okay.

- what's it mean?
- It's been a little while.

Oh, okay, pentacles are
connected to the earth.

So that should be good, I think.

Good for what?

Uh... The ten of swords.

Hmm. What's that mean?

Okay, forget about
that card. Never mind.

Okay, come on, let's go.

No, no, no. No. No. No, wait.

Ah, the empress.

This is connected
to feminine energy.

Have you been wishing
for a daughter?

I'm not sure.

The cards
always tell the truth.

I don't know how they
do it, but they do.

Listen, for ten bucks,

I'll answer anything
you want to know.

No, I'm-I'm good.

Come on. You're the one

who wanted to come here
in the first place.


I lost a
friend recently.

We're not even sure he's
dead, but he's been missing,

and with all the murders...

Say no more.

Okay, the death card
doesn't mean literal death.

It can mean the end of one
part of your friend's life

- and the beginning of another.
- I don't want to do this.


Let's go back to hannah.

Energy transfer and all that.

what are the odds
of that happening?


I mean, that makes no sense.

There's-there's only
one death card per deck.

Whatever you're doing,
this isn't funny.

I'm not doing anything.

Yes, you are, you're
upsetting my friend.

This doesn't
make any sense.

What kind of business do you
think you're running here? Huh?

Please don't go. There's got to
be some kind of an explanation.

Upsetting a pregnant woman. Huh?

Come on. We're going.

Let's go.

I'm sorry. Come on. I'm sorry.

are you okay?

Um, I think I had
some bad sushi,

and I got a parasite
or something.

I haven't been able to keep
anything down for weeks.

that concerning?

Maybe we can hold
off on the diagnosis

until after the
parties have signed.


Are you okay?


Do you think you could
just give us a moment?

- what is it?
- I don't know. I just...

Please don't do this, barbara.

This is the right
thing. You know it is.

No, I don't know it,
that's the problem.

Just throwing everything
away like this,

it just feels like we're
making a terrible mistake.

It's more than that. We
don't have a marriage.

Who cares if we don't
do all the things

that husbands and wives
are supposed to do?

I want more than that.

So should you.

Honey, we will
always be friends.

We will always, always
care for each other.


We cannot stay married,
barbara. We cannot.

I can't.

Oh, god.

Look, I know...

I know you're scared.

But you will find
somebody perfect for you.

We need to do this, honey.

We need to.

For both our sakes.

Well, one thing hasn't changed.

I still want you to be happy.

I feel the same for you.

oh, god. Honey?



where am I?

In the hospital.
You passed out.

- I did?
- Right after you signed.

Whacked your head on the floor.

Scared the shit out of me.

- I'm sorry.
- No, come on. It's my fault.

I pushed way too hard.

No, I'm sorry that I need
you to do something for me.

I, uh, did something terrible.


I got a dog.

What's so terrible about that?

He's a papillon.

But wait until you meet him.

He's so cute, but he's
been inside all day,

and he hasn't had
anything to eat.

I'm sure he's peed all
over the apartment.

Okay. Say no more.

- You don't mind?
- I do.

But I'll go anyway,

because despite everything

we're still gonna be
there for each other.

Thank you.


hey, puppy.

what are you yapping at, huh?

I'm mommy's friend.
Don't bite me.

okay. come-come on.

Okay, okay. Shh, shh, shh.

come on, come on.

Come here. Hey, come here,
come here. I got you.

I got you, I got you.
Okay, okay, okay.

Come here. Okay.

Come here. Okay,
good boy. Good boy.

it's the police.

oh, no, no.

No, no.

No! No!

No! No! No!

oh, shit!

What the fuck?

Yep, what the fuck is right?

Two times, this giant
freak tried to kill me.

Giant freak?

It's the same motherfucker
I shot in central park.

he was here, in that closet,

and he came for me.

what's funny?


Nothing. No offense.

Wait outside.


"so" what?

Is there anything to it?

Was this just a little
tryst gone wrong?

You're really asking me that?

I never saw this guy before
I shot him in central park,

and he was just in
barbara's closet.

How did he know I was here?

How did he get in?

Did your wife...
sorry, ex-wife...

- Know that you were coming here?
- No.

It was not her, and this
was not a lovers' spat.

This guy... this thing...

Came for me,

and I-I don't think
he's gonna stop.

My, uh, my wife is here

for her four-month ultrasound
with dr. Kornblatt.

She'll be in good hands.
Hello, mr. Whitely.

Hello, dianne.


I know we hadn't
discussed me being here,

but I got off early and I
thought I'd surprise you.

Dr. Kornblatt,
good to meet you.

You came at the right moment.
You have a very healthy baby.

- Everything looks perfectly normal.
- That's great news.

Your wife
insisted on a blood panel.

It's an extensive set of tests.

We don't have all the results
yet, but we should probably

go over the ones we do have.

I'll be right back.

Why is he talking
to you and not me?

And what are you doing?
Why are you here?

What's with these tests?

I had a nightmare last night.

I dreamt I was giving birth
to something with tentacles.

It's because of that stupid
tarot reading, isn't it?

- what are you seeing?
- Nothing.

I'm just noticing you have a
slightly low red cell count.

How low?

It's nothing
to get alarmed about.

Probably just a
slight case of anemia.

We'll do some follow-ups,

get it all sorted out.

- Okay?
- Okay.

What's the matter?

After the fire at the bar,

when I took blood samples
from the burn victims

at the hospital,

they all had low red
blood cell counts.

Including me?

I wasn't sure if the
results had been corrupted

or if the immune systems had
been affected by the fire.

We were doing more tests.

Then why would you
have the same issue?

That's what I don't understand.

Hey, are you sure
you're up for this?

I can go in on my own.

Yeah, I'm okay.

But, uh, brace
yourself, it's bad.


Oh, hey, your lights
are, uh, not...

Aw, my big guy!

What a big boy!

You're so tough.

Oh, god, patrick.

Was this person
following me to hurt me,

or to get to you?

I don't know.

Let's get you some clothes.

No, no, no. Don't
bother. I'm staying here.

What? No, you can't.

No, no, no. I don't want
to go to a motel, or worse,

my sister's or anywhere else.

I want to stay in my own home.

- God.
- I don't think that's a good idea, barb.

You told me the cops
swept the building, right?

There's a police cruiser
parked right out front.

Yeah, they'll be
outside all night.

Right, well, then I'm safer here

than probably anywhere
else in the whole city.

Plus, I've got this guy, right?

to protect me.

Come here, buddy. Look at this.

I'm gonna be perfectly fine.

I just have to give him a name.

I love you.

So, uh, what does the
low red blood count mean?

She said it's harmless for now,

but it's showing up in
everyone's blood work,

including her own.

Is it something I
need to worry about?

The only thing you
need to worry about...

- Hey.
- Is saving room for dinner.

come on.

I've got a surprise.


After you told me what happened,

I thought you and I
could come together

for a more positive experience.

You know, uh, maybe she can tell
us more about our relationship.

You're out of your fucking head.
I'm not going back in there.

Come on, I loved that
whole death card thing.

You can't deny me that.

Maybe it's some
kind of joke to you,

but it really
freaked hannah out.

Gave her nightmares.

now you're only making
this easier for me.

Come on.

my boyfriend's an asshole,
that's why I'm back.

After adam told me about the
reading you gave him and hannah,

I knew I had to see you
in action for myself.

I'm really glad
to see you again.

You left in such a hurry,
I couldn't tell you

how bad I felt about everything.

It was not done on purpose.

I'd actually feel
better if you told me

it was all some
sick scam, but...

- Okay.
- Great, bygones.

Can we get a reading?

That's what I'm here for.

- No instructions this time?
- I've had so many customers,

I could draw this
deck from memory.

I can do a dual reading.

Each one of you will
cut the deck once.

oof, that doesn't
look very good.

It suggests self-evaluation.

An awakening.

It's a great card.


It's not the first time
I've been called the devil.

I like your attitude.

The devil can be
playful and fun.

He represents the
questioning intellectual.

who's gonna die?


What is this?

It's just the subway.

It's right beneath us.

Easy, baby, it's the a train.

No, what is that voice?

What voice?

Do you want
me to get a new deck

and-and start from scratch?

no, no, no. Sorry.


welcome back, gino.

You're looking like
yourself again.

After all the shit
I've been through,

who would've thought that
fleas would be the thing

to send me to the hospital?

Don't worry, I had
the place fumigated.

How you doing?

That fran who's
been working here,

she's, uh, moonlighting as a
psychic on christopher street.

She scared my friend
the other day,

and I-I just went back again,

and-and it was just... Weird.

Adam, you don't actually think

that she's really
a psychic, do you?

She's got this thing.

I don't know how she does it,

but she-she connects
with your fears

and then lays them out on
the table in front of you.

Your fears?

You'd have to see
it for yourself.

Sounds like a scam.

What if she's right?

What if we're all doomed?

- Gino?
- Hey, fran.

What are you doing here?

Oh, what's the matter,
you-you can't read my mind?

Oh, you
two know each other.

I had no idea.


Well, there's no
tougher costumer than I,

and fran is a
gifted clairvoyant.

Uh, I know fran all too well.

I'm-I'm pretty sure
she's not a psychic.

And you, you claim to care,

but then you're over
here running a scam,

taking advantage of people's
pain to make a quick buck.

What's wrong with you people?

Gino, I can run any
business I please.

I'm serving the community.

My bathhouse and my tarot
shop are holistic enterprises.

Oh, this-this is ridiculous.

Well, if you don't believe
it, sit down for a reading.

I'm not gonna waste my
time with this nonsense.

What are you afraid of?

Excuse m... I'm not
afraid of anything.

Then sit down.

Fran, take your lunch.

I got this.

as you can see,

we use a standard tarot deck.

78 cards.

Every card has a
different meaning.

Yeah, I know how tarot works.

Well, then you should also know

that the fate of the
cards is in your hands.

Cut the deck.


Let's try this again.

shuffle the cards and turn
them over yourself this time.

you're an angry man, gino,

and your life is
spinning out of control.

You tell yourself
this anger is caused

by the state of the world,

but you know it's
because you are dying.

Everyone around you is dying.

I can smell it.

I can smell the decay.

It's a black hole sucking
in everything and everyone.

You want to save everyone,

but you're just a scared
little boy yourself,

someone who desperately
wants to be loved.

Do you think anyone can love you

when you have no soul to love?

Turn around, gino.

someone wants to meet you.

Shall I kiss you?

Shall I kiss you and
make this all go away?


this is all an illusion.

I... I have a soul.

I know what love is.

The only
illusion is that you think

you can escape your destiny.

I love patrick.

And patrick loves me.

How can
he even know you?

But don't fret.

He's dying, too.



barb, it's me.

- barb.

- whoa.

- she's fucking dead.
- What are you talking about?

She's fucking dead!

- calm down, sir.
- You fucking son of a bitch!

You fucking son of a bitch!

the sedatives will kick in soon.

it's not as bad as it looks.

I know what you're thinking:

"how could it possibly
get any worse?"

well, it could be for nothing,

which is worse.

you don't understand, you
don't have the full picture.

And that... That's my fault.

this isn't about
taking your life.

It's about giving
your life meaning.

it's about being a
part of something,

something that's
bigger than yourself,

something that's important.

You and I,

we're gonna change this city.

I'm just so glad I can
finally talk about it.


I've been on my own for so long,

I'm starting to go crazy.

In two weeks' time,

new york will hold its
annual pride parade.

The city proclaims to
the world that it's

a welcoming place to
all of its gay citizens.

That everyone has a place here.

That all are safe and
protected by its institutions.

That no one is left behind.

Some people actually
believe that shit.

and so,

this year, I've decided that
the parade will mean something.

For the first time,

it will be honest.

Let me show you.

it will be honest because...

He will be there.

He's our change.

Our protector.

A sentinel.

Made from the people
this city despises.

They will be transformed,
as you will be,

into agents of change.

So, you see, it isn't
as bad as it looks.

He's almost ready,

but he's missing two
very important parts:

The seat of the soul

and the heat of the loins.


decisions, decisions.