iZombie (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - Dirt Nap Time - full transcript

Previously on iZombie...

Is that the dominatrix case?

You're prosecuting Weckler?

Strange case.

He confessed even though you
didn't have much hard evidence.

The cure works,
my memory is back.

Turns out Blaine's been
lying this whole time.

He never lost his memory?

There's a batch
waiting at the morgue.

I can barely even remember
what being human is like.

Liv.



The syringes...
They're gone.

I gave you a syringe
a few weeks back.

It's the last one, and we need it for Liv.
Do you have it with you?

I gave it to someone.

To whom?

I gave the cure to Natalie.

I'm so sorry.

Who's Natalie?

Major's zombie hooker friend.

Liv...

No. I'm sorry.

That's not fair. It doesn't
matter what she was.

I thought there were
another 16 doses.

I was just trying to save her.



This is Blaine's fault,
not yours.

If he hadn't been faking
this memory loss,

I would've taken the
cure months ago.

Now that rat bastard has
stolen the rest of the doses.

The thief may not be Blaine.

Don E. just offered me $50,000
for a dose of the cure.

He said some zombie
offered him 100 grand.

It's Blaine.

And if I find him,

I will beat a confession
out of him.

Liv.

He's still got his regular
singing gig tonight.

Peyton.

Look, I don't think this hot mess
brain has completely worn off.

This is me, Ravi.

This is me controlling my anger.

But I can just picture him.

Smug.

Pleased with himself.

King of the world.

Yeah?

What do you know?

Huh?

Up, scum.

Pretty sure that's the
anger controlling you.

You've got the wrong guy.

Please Liv, let him go.

Deep breaths, Liv.

Deep breaths.

You're a murderer.

A drug dealer.

A con artist. A thief.

And a midnight toker.

But I didn't steal your
doses of the cure.

Any idea where
we can find Don E.?

We're presently estranged.

Took
your lunch money too, buddy?

We should go, Liv.

Yeah, sure.

That's better.
There you go.

Yay!

All right!

Yay!

Good friends, they talk
out their feelings, Dante.

I thought they just
breathe fire on each other?

No they don't just breath fire.

So why don't you try it.

Why don't you share
what you're feeling.

Well...

I feel happy.

Because Ms. Eleanor is
bringing out the milk.

So...

- How'd she do today?
- Well...

She had a hard time sharing
her legos, didn't she?

But we figured that out...

Parent-teacher conference,
my ass!

You two were s-c-r-e-w-i-n-g.

Can you calm down, Piper?

There are children!

Yeah? Did you come
to breast feed them all?

Is that why your boobs
are half out? No.

You came all tarted up
to the pick-up circle

because you are
banging my boyfriend.

I found your panties
under his bed.

Mommy, look.
These panties just like yours.

You?

This is not a discussion
for a school yard.

Let's all move along.

Mr. Brennan.

Can I see you in my office?

Somebody must've hated this guy.

The medical examiners
haven't arrived, yet?

I haven't seen them.

Here they are.

Well our long
national nightmare is over.

Why is she still blonde?

What happened?
The cure didn't work?

It was stolen.
Can we talk about it later?

Ew!

This is Jamie Brennan. Thirty-two
years old. Preschool teacher.

Carpentry accident?

I was thinking of ruling it
a homicide.

No forced entry.
Victim likely knew his killer.

Sheets were stolen from his bed.

Appears to be a crime
of passion.

You think?

I mean, one nail in the head

could be a financial dispute.
But the bonus 13 nails?

Someone was irked.

Guys at that construction site
across the street

tell us they're
missing a nail gun.

My theory?

Jamie's night started
romantic in the bedroom,

then things went south.

Killer left angry,
went across the street,

found the nail gun.

Came back and popped Jamie
when he answered the door.

Hey, you think we can
get the killer's height

from the angle of the nails?

Sure, if you can tell me which
of the 14 nails went in first.

What can you tell me
about std 36?

Nothing. But only
because std number one

taught me some hard lessons.

Don't look at me.

Why do you ask?

Something? Nothing?

I can think of one way
we can figure it out.

Who me?

This is the right room,
isn't it?

Shut the door!

The Guinea pig got out.

Don't worry.
I'll help find him.

I'm really good at
finding things.

What are you good at?

I'm sorry?

Detective Babineaux is really
good at asking people questions.

As a matter of fact,

he's got some questions
to ask right now.

Oh, of course. I'm sorry.

The kids are reeling
from Jamie's death

and I don't think they would be able
to take losing choochie bean too.

I'm sure my colleague will locate
the Guinea pig, Mrs. Zelinsky.

Now, what can you tell us
about Jamie?

He was the best teacher
I've ever observed.

Did Jamie have any enemies
that you know of?

I was afraid you'd ask that.

Jamie was...

Jamie was...

Mrs. Zelinsky,

don't you know police officers
are your friends?

I know they are!

Jamie was a womanizer.

Every year he had affairs
with the mothers in his class.

This year alone, he was seeing

three of the students' mothers.

You said three?

Do you know who
these three women were?

Hi, Piper, I'm Liv Moore.

Detective Babineaux's friend
from the M.E.'s office.

Do you know why we asked you
to come on down here today?

To talk about Jamie.

That's correct!

It's our understanding that
you were dating Jamie.

And that you had a nasty
fight with him yesterday.

I thought Jamie
and I were exclusive.

Then I found Macy Stonem's
panties under his bed.

Is that why I'm here?

Did that bitch point
the finger at me?

Hands on top. Everybody stop.

Hands on top, guys.

What is this?
What is she doing?

What I'm doing is
giving you a time out.

- Because what you're doing
is being unkind.

It's okay to be mad, Piper.

Something terrible has happened.

But using bad words isn't
going to help anything.

What made you think the
panties were Macy's?

Bup! Bup, bup, bup.

I'm sorry, Clive.
Piper's on a time out.

When the big hand is on the 11
she can answer you.

- I'm giving her a pass.
- But I...

The panties?

Apparently, they might be
Eleanor's.

She came out of nowhere.

I still think they're Macy's,

because she used to be a dancer

and there were
ballet slippers on them.

Macy is married with kids,

and she just walks around
wearing a Lycra halter top

like every day is a
Vegas bachelorette party.

Macy's married?

So is Eleanor.

Super classy, right?

Don't forget to ask Piper
about her alibi.

I was at home all night
with my kid,

he had a stomach bug.

Is there an adult who can
corroborate your whereabouts?

I'm a single parent.

I'm on my own.

I thought Jamie was going to
change that.

I thought I was finally
dating a nice guy for once.

He listened to my voice like

it was the only sound
in the universe.

You know, I told Macy I was
falling in love with him.

And she screwed him anyway.

Because she was bored.

She wasn't so great.

We've got orders stacking up.

It's time to make the donuts.

What's it all about, candy?

Well, I think today
is about collecting

125 grand in brain fees.

Blaine?

You care if I take
the rest of the day off.

When have I ever cared
what you do?

It doesn't make sense.

A man living paycheck
to paycheck,

doesn't pay a dominatrix
500 in cash.

And despite his many arrests,

my client has no
history of violence.

Too many details don't
add up in this case.

Ms. Charles?

I understand your
client's income

isn't ideal for paying
sex workers in cash,

but sound decision making

isn't exactly his strong suit,
is it?

For example,
when Ms. Greer

caught him stealing
her memory card,

Weckler's solution was
to strangle her.

I know this because
he confessed to it.

Glad you brought up
the confession.

Were you aware
that Mr. Weckler has

a history of mental illness.

I'm liking my chances getting
that confession tossed out.

And without it,
your case is flimsy.

Mr. Weckler used
the BDSM footage

he stole from
the dominatrix dungeon

to extort money from
a local news anchor.

I believe the jury will find
his critical thinking skills

fully functional.

Now, if Weckler wants to
cough up that memory card

I might consider
reducing charges.

I would love
to make that happen.

But Weckler's been fighting me
on the memory card.

I'd be happy to join the fight.

Does tomorrow afternoon work?

Baracus doesn't mind
us raiding his pantry?

He told us to.

Ooh.

Rare hot sauces
from around the world.

Stuff we can't afford.

Sir.

Mr. future mayor.

Mr. alternate reality mayor,
maybe.

I'm down 15 points.

Anymore intel on the
gun-toting, Internet crazies?

Same as before,
still heavily armed.

Still out to get anyone
rescued from

Max Rager's basement.

Well, that is a bummer.

Goodnight, gentlemen.

- Night
- night.

I hope both those plates
are for you.

I already ate.

You hear the rumor
about a zombie speakeasy?

Zack swears it's true.

- He's leading an expedition there tomorrow night.
- Yeah.

He wants us to go with.

Okay.

Mmm.

Dude, this sauce is Tibetan.

Have the Tibetan people
ever let you down?

Never.

Come on man. Just try it.

Nah, really, man. I'm full.

You're full?

Or you're human?

When I took you to Ravi and Liv,

when you were in bad shape.

They talked about
giving you a cure.

Yeah, I'm human.

Oh.

But I don't want
that to change anything.

I can't believe
there's a cure...

- How is that even possible?
- It's not anymore.

Look, Ravi engineered it
with tainted utopium

that he can't replicate.

And the only 15 doses
of the cure

that we had left, were stolen.

Hmm, okay...

So, is doing mercenary work
a good idea for you?

There'll be plenty of jobs
where you don't get shot.

Not after you're accused
of being a serial killer.

There's nowhere else
I'd rather be than

at Fillmore-graves.

Nowhere.

You planning on telling
anyone else?

Any of our superiors?

They'd kick me out.

Yeah.

Think you can keep
this between us?

Yeah, your secret's safe
with me, man.

By the time Piper told me
she was falling for Jamie,

I'd been sleeping
with him for months.

I didn't have
the heart to tell her.

But I wasn't about to end
my arrangement with Jamie.

The sex was incredible.

And the pillow talk, well...

No one listened
quite like Jamie.

So we've heard.

Listening es muy importante.

You can learn something new
every day if you listen.

Like the verb to listen in
Spanish. Escuchar.

Jamie's time of death
was between

10:00 P.M. and midnight.
Where were you?

At home with will,
that's my husband.

So you know, when we
confirm your whereabouts

with your husband,

we'll have to let him know

about your relationship
with Jamie.

Will's in the waiting room
right now,

if you want to talk to him.

My wife and I were at home
the night of the murder.

The usual,
dinner, put the kids to bed.

I'm afraid I have to break
some bad news to you...

Remember, none of this
is your fault, buddy.

But you and Macy are
persons of interest

in this case because Macy

was having an affair with Jamie.

Of course. I wondered why
you wanted to talk to me.

Did Macy not tell you?

My wife and I have
an open relationship.

I knew all about her thing
with Jamie.

Hell, a lot of the time,
I'd watch them

from the closet.

The closet's right next to
the bed so, I...

Quiet coyote!

I don't understand.

Ears open, mouth closed,
stop, listen and learn.

I think we have all
the information we need.

Mr. Weckler, you confessed to
the murder of Roxanne Greer.

And you were caught blackmailing

TV personality Johnny frost.

As long as you retain
that memory card,

a key piece of evidence,

the potential for
blackmail remains.

Ms. Charles has offered
a fair plea deal, James.

I'm urging you to take it.

That memory card is the only
thing keeping me alive.

Wait, what do you mean by that?

Harry?

Ms. Charles.

Excuse me a moment
while I talk to my client.

Excuse me, Harry.

This is my client.

Mr. Thorne?

You're fired.

Mr. Thorne's my lawyer now.

Ms. Charles, a word?

What's the offer on the table?

Murder two and blackmail.

Thirty years if he pleas out.

When James hands over
the memory card,

I'll drop the blackmail charge
and knock 10 years off.

We're good with murder two
and blackmail.

The memory card in question
doesn't exist.

Good doing business with you.

Guard. You can take my
client back to county.

I thought Jamie
and I were in love.

I thought I was the only one.

To have an affair...

This isn't something I do.

My husband travels for months
at a time on a fishing boat.

On a fishing boat?

How exciting?

Can you think of another job where
a person would work on a boat?

Stop.

My husband, he works
really hard,

he doesn't have time
to hear my problems...

But Jamie...
I could tell him anything.

Most people just hear, Jamie...

He really listened.

Yeah. Seems like Jamie had
listening down to a fine art.

Eleanor.

The night Jamie was murdered,

where were you between
10:00 P.M. and midnight?

Greg just got back from a trip.

We were home watching movies.

Okay. We have to confirm that
with your husband.

Meaning, we have to tell him
about the affair.

Is that really necessary?

I mean, can't you just confirm
that I was with him?

I'm sorry. We need to clear
him as a suspect, too.

Don't worry, Eleanor.

Greg will vouch for you!

He loves you!

Ellie was at home
with me that night.

All night.

Why do you need to know
where Ellie was the night

my kid's teacher was killed?

Mr. Mckenna, I'm sorry
to have to tell you this,

but Eleanor was having
an affair with Jamie.

Me so horny!

Come on, Zack. Your source
was messing with you.

There's no such thing
as a zombie speakeasy.

He swore to me. Booze. Ladies.

This is it!

There's no sign.

That's how you know it's cool!

Let's go!

It's locked.

I can hear music.

Eat it.

Dude.

That's a ghost pepper.

A million scoville heat units.

Ah.

All right, come on.
Let's do it.

Here we go.

All right big man.
Come on, let's go.

Here. Here.

Yowza! Whoo!

That'll wake you up.

Time to party,
grandmaster Justin.

Tina major-ino!

Time to clear those sinuses!

Argh.

Major!

You found the place!

Dino, this guy is cool.

We go way back!

Welcome to my club!

I can't believe this place!

Who's down for
cerebellum on a half skull.

This establishment serves
cruelty-free brains.

I wonder who all these
zombies are.

They definitely don't work for
Fillmore-graves.

There you go, boys.

Deep-fried goodness.

Blooming brain!

Eat that brain like
nobody's watching you.

We're with our people!

Any zombies in the
house tonight?

Whoo!

Zombie compadres!

They have zombie girls here

with whom you can purchase time!

Thank you, lord!

Who's gonna float me 200 bucks?

Follow me, lads,
once more into the breaches.

You don't have to sit here
for me.

- Go.
- No, man.

It's a point of pride
that I don't pay for sex.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Listen, there's no good
way to ask this

so I'm just gonna
put it up there.

Okay.

Liv?

Hey, you dead bitches!

Are we having fun yet?

Whooo!

Don E. runs a zombie bar?

He doesn't exactly give off
an upper-management vibe.

I'd say more of a huffed paint at
critical developmental stages vibe.

The place is
wall-to-wall undead.

Where did all these new
zombies come from?

And where's Don E. getting
brains to feed them all?

I'll ask him

when I ask him about those
stolen doses of the cure.

You're going
down there by yourself?

The place is full of rowdy,
boozed-up, horny zombies.

And frankly, you're not at peak
bad-ass on preschool teacher brain.

You see the potential
in everyone.

You told me I could be
an astronaut

if I studied hard enough.

Me, too!

We don't all want to be
astronauts, Liv.

The point is, you could be.

Or firemen.

Or the president.

You could take Justin.

He's already been there and he
knows how to handle himself.

Also, he asked
my permission to court you.

He did?

Maybe you should explain
my boyfriend history to him.

It is sort of like being the
drummer for spinal tap.

We were all thinking it.

I'll be fine on my own.

What's gonna work?
Teamwork!

What's gonna work? Teamwork!

You told me
we were a team, Jamie.

So, yeah, I got the impression
you were my boyfriend.

You seriously won't let me in?

Piper, you have to go home.

I'm sorry I caused a scene.

Okay? Just, please,
let's talk about it.

Good stuff?

Okay. Justin can come with me
to the scratching post.

I need to find Clive.

Why do I feel like
I'm in trouble?

Did you tell us everything

the first time we talked
to you, Piper?

Because a witness puts you
at Jamie's front door

on the night of the murder.

I dropped by Jamie's
just for like a minute,

to tell him I wasn't gonna be
with him anymore.

- Son of a bitch already had someone there.
- Any idea who?

I saw a black civic
parked down the block.

And I'm 99% sure
that's what Eleanor drives.

It's my sitter.

Can I?

Come right back.
We have more questions.

Hi, there, what's happening?

Piper wasn't telling
Jamie off in my vision,

she wanted to continue
the relationship.

She's a prideful lady.

Maybe pride got the best of her,

and she came back later,

waited for Eleanor to leave,

then used that nail gun
on Jamie's skull.

We should see if Eleanor
drives a civic.

Come in.

Hey, there.

Sorry. No appointment.

I'll be quick, I just want you
to consider joining me.

I'm reporting Harry Thorne

to the office of
disciplinary counsel.

His hijacking the Weckler case

was unprofessional
and detrimental to the client.

You'd agree to a statement
like that, wouldn't you?

You're taking it pretty hard,
don't you think?

Public defenders lose clients to
high-dollar lawyers all the time.

Oh.

You haven't heard?

James Weckler hanged himself
in his cell this morning.

Clive, sometimes we work
so hard solving murders

that we forget to pat
ourselves on the back.

Wouldn't it be amazing if
every time you caught a perp

in a lie or found a clue,
you got a reward?

This star is for
telling a spouse

his partner was unfaithful.

This smiley face is for your
great bedside manner.

Look.

Piper doesn't know her cars.

DMV says Eleanor
owns a black Camry.

Not a civic.

I think that guy in the
civic is following us.

He was parked in front
of the restaurant earlier.

Stay here.

What'd you get?

Macy and Jamie out on a date.

Macy thought a civic
was following them.

Jamie tried to check it out,
but it sped away.

Liv's second star for a vision.

That's my notepad.

How much of this
did you doodle in?

You saw the civic pull away?

Yes indeed-y.

Any chance this was
the license plate?

Oh, my gosh. It was!

Black civic.
Partial plate std 36.

Bingo.

Interesting.
The car's registered

to a business.

Coleman Baker
private investigations.

Holy frijoles!

No surprise Jamie got himself
tailed by a P.I.

As much philandering as
he was doing.

Who hired this guy?

Macy seems unlikely, she was
freaked out by being followed.

And if it were Piper,

she wouldn't have tipped us
off to the civic.

First thing tomorrow, we'll ask our P.I.
friend who hired him.

Who's a superstar?

Damn straight.

Thanks for coming with me.

I'm sure you could've
handled yourself.

Not sure what I was imagining
a zombie club would look like.

I was hoping for a wooden
front door, and we'd just,

you know, punch our
way through and...

What's your pleasure?

Whoa. Lady cop. In here.

- Does not compute.
- Tanner something.

- Clive's C.I.
- Hey!

Ix-nay on the e-say, I-way.

Is there anyone who
isn't a zombie now?

Uh, I'm looking for Don E.

He should be here soon.

When he gets back, tell him
his friend Liv wants to play.

Also, I'll take a
bloody Mary, spicy.

I'll have the same.

It's okay to get something else.

Everyone's different.

And that's a good thing.

I actually really want
a bloody Mary.

Great. It's fun when you discover
you have things in common.

Yeah.

So.

Preschool teacher brain, huh?

Man, I gotta tell you,

my preschool teacher
may have scarred me for life.

Oh, no.
How'd that happen?

I spent days making this
love note for Lizzy Bealer.

Mrs. Pennybaker caught me
and confiscated it.

Did Lizzy Bealer ever find out
that you loved her?

Oh, hell, yeah.

Mrs. Pennybaker read my
love note to the class.

That's traumatic.

Well, I'll tell you one thing.

Mrs. Pennybaker
cured me of note-passing.

No!

Note passing is a time-honored
means of communication

between young sweethearts.

Not for this kid.

I learned my lesson.

- Sad.
- I know.

I'm sorry, I've completely
monopolized the conversation.

No.

Yo, white girl!

You like the new digs?

You get a gold star
for the digs,

but I'm here to talk to you about
something very, very serious.

Yeah?

Do you remember trying to buy
a dose of the cure from Ravi?

Hashtag I'm with her.

I vaguely remember
the transaction.

Well, the next day,
all the doses were stolen.

- But you already know that, don't you?
- What?

Did Ravi tell you that...
Argh.

You come in here and you...
Argh!

Use your words.

If I had a bunch of
doses of the cure,

I'd be one rich-ass zombie.

I wouldn't be
lugging boxes around.

Boss, we got a phone call, bro.

It's our last holdout.

Seems I have some business
I have to attend to.

You ready to come
aboard or what, brother?

Candy?

Hey, curly,

I hope my '91 Le honte is
up to your standards?

Blaine!

Nice shiner, dude.

Being human sure must suck.

What are you doing here?

Didn't want to miss your
going-out-of-business sale.

- My what?
- Yeah.

Let that sink in.

As of today, all your clients
belong to us.

But, as your former employee,

I wanted to extend the courtesy

of buying up the rest
of your product.

How's a hundo a brain sound?

I know that's a considerably
under-market value.

But you know what they say...

About beggars not being choosy.

Damn. There it is!

That's the look I wanted
to see, the mad Blaine!

Priceless.

Didn't I tell you?

Ain't personal.

It's capitalism, dude.

We built a better mousetrap.

Let's grab our bargain brains
and bounce, y'all.

Oh.

Et Tu, candy?

You care now?

What now?

Your dad wanted me
to deliver a message.

My dad?

Ow!

Sorry about the gut shot.

He wanted
you to suffer a bit first.

Oh! Whoa!

I've got money, okay?
Lots of it.

Coleman Baker?

Clive Babineaux,

I'm a homicide detective
with the SPD.

This is Liv Moore from
the M.E.'s office.

We're investigating the murder
of Jamie Brennan.

I wondered when you guys
were gonna show up.

C'mon.

Please. Sit.

We were curious

why you were parked on Jamie's
street the night he died,

and why he had your
license plate

jotted down on a notepad.

You likely know
what I was doing.

I was working
on behalf of a client.

You want a coffee? Tea?

No.

No, what, Clive?

No, thank you.

And who would this client be,
Mr. Baker?

You know I can't tell
you that, detective.

Are you really going to make
me find a judge to...

Clive, look.

I'll be damned.

You still think you need
to go see a judge?

No. I think we're good.

You are in big trouble,
young lady.

You're not in an
open relationship.

You're so not
in an open relationship

that your husband hired
a private investigator

to find out what you were up to.

Remember that civic you saw

following you on a date
with Jamie?

That was him.

And it gets worse.

Turns out your husband's P.I.

Was following you
the night of the murder.

That's who called your husband
and told him where you were.

That's how will found you.

He probably sits out
there seething.

He works himself up to
a fever pitch.

He finds a weapon at the

construction site
across the street.

He heads to the front door.

Rings the bell.

And that's the last thing
your lover ever did.

You became an accomplice
when you helped will

cover up the crime.

You got rid of the
incriminating sheets.

You keep lying for him,

you're just adding
years to your sentence.

Will killed Jamie.

I saw it all.

Hey, there.

Uh, uh, Liv's out gallivanting
with Clive somewhere.

I'm actually here to see you.

Oh.

Have you done the autopsy
on James Weckler?

Right, the dominatrix killer.

Died of asphyxiation.

Pretty standard hanging.

Is it possible there was
foul play?

It's possible.

But there'd be no way
to know for sure.

Not with the evidence
I collected from the body.

What about Liv?

Maybe some visions
could fill in the gaps.

Weckler's still here.
You could ask her really nice.

Wait. How pressing is this?

Not very. I don't even know
what I'm looking for.

Why?

Now, Weckler's brain soaks
in the blue juice for 10 days.

The juice
supercharges the visions.

Liv's gonna hate me.

Weckler had
some mental health issues.

She could always refuse.

So?

So?

How'd it go last night with Liv?

I thought it was going good.

It was weird,
I really opened up to her.

But when I took her home,
she just bolted for the door.

I think she may be a racist.

Or worse, frigid.

Actually she wanted me
to pass along this note.

You mind returning this to her?

Sure.

But this is officially

the last note I pass
between you two.

Yes, sir?

Understood.

Yes, sir.

The tracker they planted
in that gun nut's truck

shows him heading for our 20.

I'll get eyes on Baracus. You
go throw down the spike strip.

Got it.

I can't see nothing.

What the hell?

Our front tires are blown.

Gentlemen, this
is a private road.

What's your business here?

Uh...

We heard there was
a party out here.

Duct tape.

Blood pressure cuff.

What kind of party
y'all headed to?

Uh...

What the hell was that?

Oh, god.

You ran over that fella!

Let's get out of here!

Gun it! Go! Go! Go!

- Go, go!
- I'm going, I'm going!

Faster!

I can't go any faster!

Oh, my god, oh, my god...

Did you see that?

We got it.

We totally got it!

Go, go, go.

Yes!

They're sure as hell gonna
believe us now.

- Yeah!
- Yes!