Zorro (1990–1993): Season 1, Episode 4 - Double Entendre - full transcript
The alcalde has the Indian camp ransacked, leaving Zorro's mark so as to turn the whole pueblo against the 'bandit', finds copper ore on Indian land, and has a fake Zorro, a master-swordsman, rob the church's poor box, which convi...
You're sure about that?
Yes, yes, yes.
Just play.
As you wish.
It was you who taught me the
Andalusian gambit.
Why fall victim to it yourself?
You haven't won yet, Diego.
Checkmate.
You played well.
But you played better... and lost.
Something troubles you.
I went to a meeting last night...
...the Alcalde called together
several prominent citizens.
For more of his inflammatory
rhetoric about Zorro...
...that's hardly surprising.
But he seems more anxious than ever
to turn us all against Zorro.
Well, the people of Los Angeles will make up
their own minds about Zorro.
Oh, what is it?
Calm down, Felipe.
Slower.
There's trouble out at the Indian camp.
What kind?
The Alcalde.
Simply shameful. This is the last thing
that these poor Indians needed...
...but personally I'm not at all surprised
that Zorro would do such a thing.
You don't honestly believe
that Zorro did this?
It doesn't matter what I believe, Don Diego.
It matters what they believe.
That man, that Zorro.
He must be made to pay.
You see, the people have a
will of their own.
Don't worry, my friend.
Show your Alcalde everything
that masked bandit has done.
Seems your friend Zorro has taken
up a new line of work.
Do you truly believe that?
Why not? People are capable of
great change, you know.
Perhaps, but Zorro is no
reed in the wind.
Well, let's hope not.
Still..., human beings can be
so interesting.
Particularly strangers, I find.
- Strangers?
Yes. They fascinate me.
You haven't seen any unusual travelers
at the tavern lately, have you?
Our only new guest is a novitiate on
his way to the northern missions.
Ooh... and that old tinker over there.
Alcalde:
Good people of Los Angeles,...
...what happened today to those poor Indians
camped outside of our pueblo...
...should have caused nothing
less than outrage...
...at the cruel savagery of
the man responsible for it.
None other than that
diabolical outlaw, Zorro.
Eyewitnesses saw him set
fire to the very homes...
...those poor people built
with their own hands.
I want you to know that I
have sworn myself...
to the capture and prosecution
of this masked rider.
And the continued criminal activity
of a man like Zorro...
...will only cause greater
problems for us all.
Trust me, my people, I only want
what is best for you.
Alcalde!
We caught up with Zorro!
- Did you kill him?
That is not such an easy task,
mi Alcalde.
We were on a routine patrol.
Bravely doing our duty, when Zorro attacked.
He nearly killed us all.
And then he tied us up.
It took us hours to work ourselves free.
And what makes you so sure
it was Zorro, Sergeant?
Who else wears a mask
and a black cape?
My people, we must band together
to bring this criminal to justice.
But Zorro would never fight
without good reason.
He may soon have all the reason
he needs.
My men fought balliately.
Under your astute leadership, off course.
- This is correct, mi Alcalde.
Not to worry, Sergeant. Things around here
are about to change.
They are?
Am I getting a promotion?
Maybe the Alcalde is getting
me a new horse.
Why would Zorro attack us
without a cause?
He has never done that before.
I think the man is finally
showing his true colours.
And speaking of colour...
Take a look at this.
Ay Gelindo.
High grade copper ore.
I picked it up at the Indian camp.
A vein of copper will help the Indians
overcome their poverty.
Sergeant, the Indians know
nothing of mining.
Oh, they will learn soon enough,
mi Alcalde.
Well, even if they did, they're not
equipped to deal with money.
I shall have to help them.
Zorro... may not approve.
Oh, I don't think we'll have to
worry about Zorro for long.
Your fences break down all the time.
I maybe can lose one or two cows,
but not an entire herd.
I tell you, it's the sound of Zorro's
whip that stampeded my cows.
You are too kind, Don Diego.
It's the least I can do
for a man in uniform.
Tell me again about your
encounter with Zorro.
Well, it was not like him.
He came at me from behind...
Se?or, you dropped something.
Are you alright?
- I'm fine, Don Diego. Thank you.
The Alcalde's piece was bigger.
- Indeed.
That was copper ore, wasn't it?
I... I don't know such things, Don Diego.
Draw your swords! After him!
It's Zorro!
- Take him, Sergeant!
But Alcalde...
We caught him robbing the church
poor box. Arrest him!
Zorro!
Drop your weapon... Please?
He never cut me before.
He even steals from the church.
Is such a man your friend?
I think not.
That kind of a man is the enemy of every
man, woman and child in this pueblo.
Down with Zorro! Down with Zorro!
Down with Zorro! Down with Zorro!
Down with Zorro! Down with Zorro!
Whoever he is, he certainly has a knack
for appearing and disappearing at will.
Magic?
No, I don't think so.
Even the best of tricks can be explained
through reason and science.
Look through here.
The glass removes certain
colours from our vision...
...that makes others more visible
with less light.
It's all a question of knowing
how the world works.
I think it's time we found out how this
other Zorro performs his work.
Yes, my friend.
Tonight the true Zorro rides.
This is where I last saw my impersonator.
Cracked tile, even a chip...
...any fresh mark would be a sign.
Footprint.
On hard tile?
Delicious.
Ah, geology report. Copper ore.
No wonder Zorro destroyed
the Indians camp.
But I assure you, you have nothing
to worry about.
The only thing that concerns me is
timely payment, se?or Alcalde.
Se?or Castejo, only a fool would fail to pay
a professional swordsman his due.
But your work is not yet done.
You hired me to make Zorro a villain
in the eyes of the public...
...which I've done. Now I'd like to be on
my way, with my money.
But we have made Zorro look bad.
It is time to make me look good.
You have a plan?
- Oh, it's simple.
As Zorro, you will challenge me in public.
And with skill, valor,
and excellent swordsmanship,...
...I'll drive that masked outlaw
from the pueblo.
And you'll be a hero to your people.
- Precisely.
And because the land upon which you
are unfortunately settled...
...is of such strategic value, it is hereby
confiscated by the military government.
Thief! Liar!
You can't take that land from us!
Silence him.
They'll hang him.
- Perhaps not.
At last we meet on equal ground.
- Alcalde, this is Zorro.
Watch, Sergeant. You may learn something.
Your tailor has excellent taste, Se?or.
Alcalde, you are brilliant.
- It's all in the wrist.
And the arm.
- Ah!
And the leg.
- Ohw!
Would you stick to the plan?
The only worthy plan is a plan
for equal justice...
...where in the local Indians...
...have the right...to any profits...
...from their own land.
Zorro!
- Zorro and Zorro.
Your only mistake was not wiping the caramel
from your boot last night.
The mistake is yours, my friend.
Sergeant, give me a pistol.
- Alcalde, what are you going to do?
I'm going to shoot him.
- Yes, but which one?
No!
You killed him!
- At last! Unmask him!
Your duty, Sergeant.
He's...
He's not so handsome.
That's because it's not him.
- It's not? Then who...
Obviously an imposter.
An accomplice of some sort.
Zorro lives!
If my calculations are correct, you'll want
to start in this area here.
Sergeant Mendoza.
Did you come to help?
The Alcalde was delighted to hear
that the good citizens of Los Angeles...
...were bringing food and clothing
for the Indians.
Was he? Or did he send you
here to spy on their work?
No, no, no, Don Alejandro.
The Alcalde has a very busy schedule.
Off course. He's busy staying
out of Zorro's way.
He does remain available for consultation...
...if the Indians should need
help mining for the copper.
These people will have all the help
they need, Sergeant.
Off course you realize the Alcalde will be
collecting his usual industrial taxes.
I wonder how Zorro will feel about that?
Oh, I'm sure it will just be a
small tax.Very small.
Tiny. Perhaps a few centavos
every five years.
Yes, yes, yes.
Just play.
As you wish.
It was you who taught me the
Andalusian gambit.
Why fall victim to it yourself?
You haven't won yet, Diego.
Checkmate.
You played well.
But you played better... and lost.
Something troubles you.
I went to a meeting last night...
...the Alcalde called together
several prominent citizens.
For more of his inflammatory
rhetoric about Zorro...
...that's hardly surprising.
But he seems more anxious than ever
to turn us all against Zorro.
Well, the people of Los Angeles will make up
their own minds about Zorro.
Oh, what is it?
Calm down, Felipe.
Slower.
There's trouble out at the Indian camp.
What kind?
The Alcalde.
Simply shameful. This is the last thing
that these poor Indians needed...
...but personally I'm not at all surprised
that Zorro would do such a thing.
You don't honestly believe
that Zorro did this?
It doesn't matter what I believe, Don Diego.
It matters what they believe.
That man, that Zorro.
He must be made to pay.
You see, the people have a
will of their own.
Don't worry, my friend.
Show your Alcalde everything
that masked bandit has done.
Seems your friend Zorro has taken
up a new line of work.
Do you truly believe that?
Why not? People are capable of
great change, you know.
Perhaps, but Zorro is no
reed in the wind.
Well, let's hope not.
Still..., human beings can be
so interesting.
Particularly strangers, I find.
- Strangers?
Yes. They fascinate me.
You haven't seen any unusual travelers
at the tavern lately, have you?
Our only new guest is a novitiate on
his way to the northern missions.
Ooh... and that old tinker over there.
Alcalde:
Good people of Los Angeles,...
...what happened today to those poor Indians
camped outside of our pueblo...
...should have caused nothing
less than outrage...
...at the cruel savagery of
the man responsible for it.
None other than that
diabolical outlaw, Zorro.
Eyewitnesses saw him set
fire to the very homes...
...those poor people built
with their own hands.
I want you to know that I
have sworn myself...
to the capture and prosecution
of this masked rider.
And the continued criminal activity
of a man like Zorro...
...will only cause greater
problems for us all.
Trust me, my people, I only want
what is best for you.
Alcalde!
We caught up with Zorro!
- Did you kill him?
That is not such an easy task,
mi Alcalde.
We were on a routine patrol.
Bravely doing our duty, when Zorro attacked.
He nearly killed us all.
And then he tied us up.
It took us hours to work ourselves free.
And what makes you so sure
it was Zorro, Sergeant?
Who else wears a mask
and a black cape?
My people, we must band together
to bring this criminal to justice.
But Zorro would never fight
without good reason.
He may soon have all the reason
he needs.
My men fought balliately.
Under your astute leadership, off course.
- This is correct, mi Alcalde.
Not to worry, Sergeant. Things around here
are about to change.
They are?
Am I getting a promotion?
Maybe the Alcalde is getting
me a new horse.
Why would Zorro attack us
without a cause?
He has never done that before.
I think the man is finally
showing his true colours.
And speaking of colour...
Take a look at this.
Ay Gelindo.
High grade copper ore.
I picked it up at the Indian camp.
A vein of copper will help the Indians
overcome their poverty.
Sergeant, the Indians know
nothing of mining.
Oh, they will learn soon enough,
mi Alcalde.
Well, even if they did, they're not
equipped to deal with money.
I shall have to help them.
Zorro... may not approve.
Oh, I don't think we'll have to
worry about Zorro for long.
Your fences break down all the time.
I maybe can lose one or two cows,
but not an entire herd.
I tell you, it's the sound of Zorro's
whip that stampeded my cows.
You are too kind, Don Diego.
It's the least I can do
for a man in uniform.
Tell me again about your
encounter with Zorro.
Well, it was not like him.
He came at me from behind...
Se?or, you dropped something.
Are you alright?
- I'm fine, Don Diego. Thank you.
The Alcalde's piece was bigger.
- Indeed.
That was copper ore, wasn't it?
I... I don't know such things, Don Diego.
Draw your swords! After him!
It's Zorro!
- Take him, Sergeant!
But Alcalde...
We caught him robbing the church
poor box. Arrest him!
Zorro!
Drop your weapon... Please?
He never cut me before.
He even steals from the church.
Is such a man your friend?
I think not.
That kind of a man is the enemy of every
man, woman and child in this pueblo.
Down with Zorro! Down with Zorro!
Down with Zorro! Down with Zorro!
Down with Zorro! Down with Zorro!
Whoever he is, he certainly has a knack
for appearing and disappearing at will.
Magic?
No, I don't think so.
Even the best of tricks can be explained
through reason and science.
Look through here.
The glass removes certain
colours from our vision...
...that makes others more visible
with less light.
It's all a question of knowing
how the world works.
I think it's time we found out how this
other Zorro performs his work.
Yes, my friend.
Tonight the true Zorro rides.
This is where I last saw my impersonator.
Cracked tile, even a chip...
...any fresh mark would be a sign.
Footprint.
On hard tile?
Delicious.
Ah, geology report. Copper ore.
No wonder Zorro destroyed
the Indians camp.
But I assure you, you have nothing
to worry about.
The only thing that concerns me is
timely payment, se?or Alcalde.
Se?or Castejo, only a fool would fail to pay
a professional swordsman his due.
But your work is not yet done.
You hired me to make Zorro a villain
in the eyes of the public...
...which I've done. Now I'd like to be on
my way, with my money.
But we have made Zorro look bad.
It is time to make me look good.
You have a plan?
- Oh, it's simple.
As Zorro, you will challenge me in public.
And with skill, valor,
and excellent swordsmanship,...
...I'll drive that masked outlaw
from the pueblo.
And you'll be a hero to your people.
- Precisely.
And because the land upon which you
are unfortunately settled...
...is of such strategic value, it is hereby
confiscated by the military government.
Thief! Liar!
You can't take that land from us!
Silence him.
They'll hang him.
- Perhaps not.
At last we meet on equal ground.
- Alcalde, this is Zorro.
Watch, Sergeant. You may learn something.
Your tailor has excellent taste, Se?or.
Alcalde, you are brilliant.
- It's all in the wrist.
And the arm.
- Ah!
And the leg.
- Ohw!
Would you stick to the plan?
The only worthy plan is a plan
for equal justice...
...where in the local Indians...
...have the right...to any profits...
...from their own land.
Zorro!
- Zorro and Zorro.
Your only mistake was not wiping the caramel
from your boot last night.
The mistake is yours, my friend.
Sergeant, give me a pistol.
- Alcalde, what are you going to do?
I'm going to shoot him.
- Yes, but which one?
No!
You killed him!
- At last! Unmask him!
Your duty, Sergeant.
He's...
He's not so handsome.
That's because it's not him.
- It's not? Then who...
Obviously an imposter.
An accomplice of some sort.
Zorro lives!
If my calculations are correct, you'll want
to start in this area here.
Sergeant Mendoza.
Did you come to help?
The Alcalde was delighted to hear
that the good citizens of Los Angeles...
...were bringing food and clothing
for the Indians.
Was he? Or did he send you
here to spy on their work?
No, no, no, Don Alejandro.
The Alcalde has a very busy schedule.
Off course. He's busy staying
out of Zorro's way.
He does remain available for consultation...
...if the Indians should need
help mining for the copper.
These people will have all the help
they need, Sergeant.
Off course you realize the Alcalde will be
collecting his usual industrial taxes.
I wonder how Zorro will feel about that?
Oh, I'm sure it will just be a
small tax.Very small.
Tiny. Perhaps a few centavos
every five years.