Zmiennicy (1986–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Dziewczyna do bicia - full transcript
ALTERNATES
One life's not enough to handle
the abundance of the burden...
Episode III
A WHIPPING GIRL.
Who'll replace you for a while?
Lessen daily problems file?
A trustworthy alternate,
him and you, hand in hand.
World's spinning, time's flowing,
life's passing.
And the voice that keeps repeating:
Radio Taxi, please hold on.
We shall wait, we'll hang on,
we shall get to where we're told.
Frankly speaking,
everything's got its price.
If you're not equal to a task,
your alternate's the one to ask.
The right man that takes things easy
though spare part's often missing.
Dear faithful alternate's like
a spare wheel when you need it.
We know well those bends and junctions
we respect our memories.
Radio Taxi, hold the line.
We will do with understanding
being also understood.
Our life's being reeled,
spinning like fast like a car's wheel.
Speed it up and scud along
your alternate'll keep the pace.
Spinning round the serpentines,
moving on or underground.
Radio Taxi please hold on.
We shall wait.
There has to be something...
There has to be something
round the bend.
- Where to?
- To Anin.
Great. I'll visit my friend
in the hospital there.
The Arabs work even on Saturdays.
Apparently they do it only once a week.
He didn't agree to a trio.
A few years ago, in winter I was
in the Forum Hotel.
All of sudden all the girls
were told to leave the hotel.
Without any reason?
The local ones moved the business
to their flats.
I left through the staff entrance and
was back right after the curfew.
There was nothing they could do.
They had to let me in.
The hotel was packed with foreigners.
There was a full range to choose from.
I stayed in the hotel for two days.
For me it was a good winter.
- Haven't you got smaller notes?
- Keep the change.
- Take this.
- For the patient.
Instead of the flowers.
That's a real friend.
Put it in there.
When're you leaving?
They promised to take the plaster off
tomorrow afternoon.
Then I'll be able to pick you up.
Have you been on your own
all the time?
Till now yes. I've been waiting
for you. We'll square up later on.
- Why're so yellow?
- It's because of the moonlight.
- He looks the same.
- That's true.
I'll wake up your pal.
It's very early.
He's fast asleep.
He's a V.I.P.
It's a suicide to work like this and
spend so much time on commuting.
That belong to the past.
Look what I've got.
- You joined the building society.
- You're making a big mistake.
You'll retire before you
move into this flat.
I can't believe that a Warsaw cabman
cannot find some permanent digs.
To my calculation, every tenth female
passenger owns her own lodgings.
Not every tenth but every hundredth.
Am I to make eyes to every single one?
I may only have my face slapped.
Go to the Lonely Hearts Agency
and give an ad.
- I'm looking for a dark haired...
- No, a blond'd be better.
age about 25, fond of cooking,
with her own flat.
They'll find someone.
And then I'll find out that the blond's
dark-haired living in a rented flat.
With three children staying temporarily
with the grandparents.
Reading the papers carefully you can
find very interesting offers.
There's a special magazine which
prints something like that:
Two nice ladies are seeking parties
to contract a treaty of friendship...
co-operation and the exchange of
personal experience. Or...
give it to me so I'll show you.
It's under the pillow.
What's going on here?
What're you doing here?
How did you get in?
Through the door.
It's all right, I expected him.
I thought he was bothering you.
I'm not saying good bye.
See you in the evening.
You've got a nice friend but he's
taking you this afternoon.
What day is it today?
12th of September.
For me it's been an unlucky day
for forty years.
- 13 is supposed to be unlucky.
- In my case it's one day earlier.
On 12th of September 1944 I spent
the whole day...
in the Chinese Consulate
which was under machine guns fire.
Towards evening, when I was going to our
quarters in Okrag Street... about 100 m
- It was 200 meters.
- No, 100. I can bet.
I was shot in the leg and that was
the end of my taking part in the war.
- Was it in Okrag? Which number?
- Number 2, of course.
- Rudy's boys had their quarters there.
- I used to live there.
I was the boy who'd bring
you the coffee.
I remember this coffee made of barley.
But then it tasted like pure coffee.
You'll be late again.
I won't if you let me
take the car.
First you must get
the driving licence.
- I'm busy with my training.
- Are you going or not?
It's very hard for him without a car.
Try to get into his position.
I won't let him drive without the
licence. Kids must be kept in line.
Oh, it's you.
Let's go. Only a minesweeper
can't make a mistake.
They comb out such tramps from
the station. Can I have your ID?
Unemployed? Why didn't you go to
the job centre yesterday?
I did.
- Wasn't there any job for you?
- No.
- What's your profession?
- A bullfighter.
- Who's a bullfighter?
- I'll tell you later.
It won't be easy to say good bye,
Mr Stanislav.
It's high time you stopped addressing
yourselves so officially.
Good idea.
What do you think?
I'll be very pleased. I've to tell you
something in a less official tone.
Can you open this?
We have all the necessary things
for the ceremony.
To him now.
Call me Stasiek.
Tomasz.
Now I have to tell you that you
really...
Good morning, gentlemen.
Has any of you had jaundice?
- Never in my life.
- Thank God I haven't.
I wish you'd had.
When you were given
the antitetanus injection...
the nurse used a needle infected
with the virus.
- So now you have it.
- We take it for granted.
Since now, you're on a strict diet.
And first of all, no alcohol.
Mr Michalik will be moved to
a single-bed ward.
No way.
I want to stay with Stasiek.
- Haven't you seen the boss?
- No, I haven't.
- Good morning, sir.
- Morning.
- You look very today, sir.
- Thank you.
You have to go
and get those wheel.
Jus a second.
How many wheel do we need?
200 pairs, sir.
The purchasing dept did a good job.
But I have a question to ask.
How many wheel can I take
into the van?
About 50.
That means the van
will have to make...
4 runs while a lorry could
take all of them in one run.
We should work efficiently instead
of wasting social wealth.
Of course, sir, but we can have
the lorry in the afternoon...
and if we don't collect the wheel
we'll have to pay the penalty.
So use you brains.
Miss Kasia has something else to do.
You'll go to my house now.
My wife needs you for something.
A small present as usual.
I've an appointment with my
hairdresser at 11 a.m.
So as not to waste time we can
pop in to Mirowska supermarket.
Koszyki supermarket's closer.
But they have deliveries at
the end of the week.
Good.
Nice only at the top.
You'll buy nice fruit at Polna market.
Come on, let's start.
Take two jars of mayonnaise,
fruit juice, mushrooms...
two tins of tomato puree.
You stay here while I'll go to the
fish stand. They may have tea there.
Can you keep my place for a while?
They're selling crackers at
the sweets stand.
- Would you like a packet?
- No, thank you.
I'll also go to buy the crackers.
Will you remember me?
I don?t know. Some people have
already left the queue.
I'll give you the list of those
entitled to get into the line.
I'm Karter. Spelt with K.
Who was in front of you?
A blond lady with a trolley bag.
Here you are.
It's very slow there.
This one's moving faster.
You'll replace me there and I'll
stay here.
- I'll take the place of this lady.
- I've got a list..
So let's sign up my name.
Koniuszko.
You'll keep the list.
Now, I can go to buy the crackers.
- This lady will stand here.
- Yes, she had her place here.
There's a delivery at the chemist's.
Everybody can buy two bottles
of shampoo. I'll go and see.
Why're you so slow?
It'd be faster
if you were pregnant.
I can't arrange that at such
a short notice.
The woman I know has told me that one
of our neighbours has twins.
They're not even 12 months old and they
are very small weighing about 5 kilos.
She rents the kinds to people who want
to avoid queuing.
How much does she
charge for that?
The heavier one's 200 per hour but
the smaller is more expensive.
You can choose the day you want.
It's not much if it helps to buy ham
or some other good sausage.
But you'll do
for my shopping today.
Hurry up. It's ten to 11.
My hairdresser's waiting.
Faster.
May I?
Take me quickly to the bulbs factory.
I can't be late for work.
I can't. I'm working.
People don't read at work.
Couldn't you have a lunch break now?
Clear off.
All right, but acting like this you're
not helping your country.
Don't count on me.
You're not busy?
Could you come inside for a while?
It's going to take some more time here.
Go to the school without me.
Can be done.
What did you say?
Can be done.
Karate or Kung-fu.
One move and he's down.
Get behind the wheel.
Monte Carlo's waiting for you.
Or the Safari Rally.
Do you have to park in front
of the school?
Next time pull over in the bay.
- Careful!
- They can see you.
- What was that sign?
- What sign?
You want me to concentrate on driving
and then you ask me about signs.
You can ask about signs
when we stop.
Besides, you shouldn't talk
to the driver. I'm nervous.
So relax.
Look where you're going.
You cow.
Soil for plants.
Did you see how I handled it?
The Grand Prix champion.
Did you get high or what?
Did you see that?
Didn't you see it was red?
You want me to pay attention either
to the signs or to the lights.
You better look into the mirror.
Give me the wheel.
Are you crazy?
What're you doing?
- Think for a while.
- That's exactly what I'm doing.
- What do you want anyway?
- Quick.
- I'm glad to see you, constable.
- Can I see your driving licence?
I've just seen a man wanted by
the police who was driving a motor bike.
I crossed at the red light to join
the pursuit.
Now he's got a moustache and a beard
but they must be false.
And that's why you were going
in zigzags?
I was scared. My hands were trembling.
Besides, I was waiting for you.
- Can I have this?
- Here you are.
How could I stop such a criminal?
It's not the same as you.
You're a superman.
- You say he was going this direction?
- Yes.
He's gone, so I can go on driving.
- No, I have to pick up your father.
- O.K. I know everything anyway.
Only a minesweeper can't
make a mistake. Now home.
I'm back.
We're going home.
How much petrol have you got?
- Almost half of the tank.
- Not enough, we'll have to fill up.
- I've got the coupons.
- That's what I'm saying.
Who are you? A manual or from
The Ministry of Internal Affairs.
- The Ministry, but a manual.
- How much do you make a month?
- Officially, of course.
- Not much.
- But I can manage somehow.
- Very well.
A manual with a low salary.
That's exactly who I'm looking for.
You see, I've got a son.
He's very bright
and I want him to be well educated.
So send him to the university to study
medicine or journalism.
The problem is that not only knowledge
counts, but social background as well.
I don't know anyone
that I could bribe.
And he has no chance if they take
into account my income.
I have a request.
Could you adopt my son?
You must be joking.
Not for free.
You'll get a new small Fiat.
But it'd be about 700 thousand.
Including the tax?
That?s right. And you'll always
be able to fill up here.
After all we'll be a family.
But if he doesn't pass and you
end up in prison...
- ...I'll have a kid to provide for.
- Don't even say such things.
I'll give you a draft covering
the whole amount.
Now, I can give you 100 thousand.
I'll be for him like another father.
In another Poland.
30 litres to the tank.
- It'd be better to have it in a can.
- Four star.
- Malicki borrowed the can.
- Don't make it difficult.
Rinse your mouth.
You can have 5 litres for yourself.
Here's the yesterday's paper.
Very interesting.
Now you'll go to get the wheels.
We can't stop the production only
because some parts are missing.
You won't complain.
We'll count it as overtime.
By the way, on Saturday we're going
mushroom picking.
- Thanks, but I won't go.
- You didn't understand.
- The people'll go in this van.
- But there's space for only 8 people.
That's not a problem.
We'll take only the most active members.
We can't afford renting a coach.
We can't afford renting a coach.
- It's not far, about 80 kilometres.
- You won't find even one mushroom.
The forest inspectorate which just
bought some of our cars...
had problems with insects.
Lots of moths or something like that.
The trees were sprayed with poisonous
stuff and the whole area was sealed off.
Nobody's been there for four months so
there're hundreds of mushrooms.
But they're poisoned.
The thing is that either they don't have
pesticides or a plane or petrol.
The situation resembles the one
this firm in Zoliborz is in.
Their mushrooms grow that big on this
fertilizer made of centipedes.
The mushrooms are
the least important.
There's nothing left.
Miss Kasia!
Miss Kasia, hurry up.
You'll go to the palace in Zatory.
It's not far from here.
Look for Mastalerz.
You'll leave these bottles.
Have you got the money?
And the head?
Old houses were built so well.
Nothing's been done here since the war
and the palace's still standing.
I'll do some repairs and it'll stand a few years longer.
You seem to be a clever man but you
think like a child.
- This is a short-sighted policy.
- Don't tell me such things.
People respect me.
But think for a while. We could have
this palace for ourselves.
And you could even get the money
for the renovation.
I know but I don't want to.
I know but I don't want to.
What for would I need a palace
with eight families living in it.
I'd have to buy flats
for all of them.
Even a rich man can't afford that,
not talking about me.
But I know how to handle it.
I say I'm not interested in the palace.
I don't do any repairs.
I don't care about
the roof or the gutters.
I let it leak, rotten
and fall into pieces.
You think it'll collapse one day?
it's bound to.
And then they'll get council flats.
All of them. You'll get rid of
the tenants.
- And what will I do with these ruins?
- Aren't there Radziwill's descendants?
When they learn that
their heritage is being wasted...
there'll be enough cash flow
to build the fourfold.
The palace can be converted into a hotel
for aristocracy, foreigners and snobs.
And the fourfold could be used
as a youth hostel.
Have you submitted your
application yet?
No, but I'm going to.
- Good afternoon.
- Mr Mastalerz, you've got a customer.
I'd be careful buying this. He uses
calcium carbide to make it.
- It's flammable.
- Don't scare away my customers.
Wait.
We call it "A Red Cap" or
"Ranger's Liqueur"...
'cause it approaches you quietly
and suddenly knocks you down.
I'm fine, standing on both legs
but you really have been knocked down.
- Will it be all right?
- Yes, but it's not a bargain for me.
Damn it. She scoffed at me.
I should've told her like this:
It's called "A Red Cap"
or "Ranger's Liqueur"...
as it attacks quietly and
knocks down unexpectedly.
I'm fine, standing on both legs
but you really have been knocked down.
Bend down.
I'll show you how it works.
- What?
- More, more.
- And? Did I drink?
- I have to check it again.
Am I saying you drank anything?
Miss Kasia! Where're you?
Miss Kasia, we need some more.
You know the way.
Mieszko will go with you.
Couldn't she bring more than a litre?
So much walking.
They must be having a big wedding party
'cause this girl flies like a Pershing.
Call me if she comes again.
I've got something to tell her.
I've mistaken you for someone else.
You're very much alike.
Do you think you can pat anything
you want?
Don't pretend to be so innocent.
Mind who you're talking to.
You tyke.
Sir, can he pat me or your son?
Generally, women are to be patted.
Don't argue. Have a drink
and give each other a kiss.
I've got enough of this.
Bye, bye, my lovely company.
I'll never see you again.
Even if they beg me.
They promised me the annual
subscription of two newspapers.
Peasants.
Get stuffed with your mushrooms.
Are you going to Warsaw?
Not here.
Closer to the white one.
Check near the bottle.
I'm not driving. Not after drinking.
There're a lot of police on the road.
Son, you've got a chance
to practice your skills.
Try to do your best.
- Anybody missing?
- No, sir.
So let's go.
Watch the snag!
You won't go any further now.
How fast can such a tractor go?
30 kilometres an hour.
But towing a van it can make about 15.
In two hours we'll be close to Warsaw.
I haven't liked your job anyway.
You'll all end up in prison.
Why don't you marry some foreigner
and go to another country?
So that you could sleep on her bed.
You're so selfish.
- I will manage.
- It's not a job for a woman.
You could be a doctor, a lawyer
or a cashier in a butcher's shop.
An interesting job, contact with
other people.
Being a driver you have a breath
stinking of petrol.
They don't even have any respect
for you.
She passed the second level
of the driving test.
She'll find a job easily.
She could be an office clerk.
Nice work, people respect you...
and you can always go shopping
during the office hours.
A driver should be a man.
There're female drivers in our company
and they are good.
So am I to be a taxi driver again?
I've heard that the taxi company
needs some people.
There's a vacancy in our museum.
In the Matejko's section.
In what?
A section with Matejko's paintings.
Nice and warm surroundings.
Spending 8 hours a day in close
contacts with these masterpieces...
made me so sensitive...
that I really get sick having to
queue for hours.
Even Mrs Oltarzewska notices
I'd changed.
It's not a job for me. I can't stay
in one place for so long.
You keep on complaining
about being tired.
When there're a lot of visitors.
The worst are school children.
One want to sign a painting, the other
to check if the paint doesn't come off.
Or whether he can lift a picture.
- See.
- But that's life, and culture.
Not being sent for home-made vodka.
This will all end up one day.
Careful!
I was approached by a fat man
with a gold tooth.
He was glad to meet someone
from Polish Television.
He says that he loves Poland he'd
like us to take some powder to Warsaw.
He'll pay us $1000 for each pound.
Maybe, but Poland is only a transit
country. Nobody can afford to...
He said we could hide it
in film boxes.
They're not opened at the customs.
The man I told you about works
somewhere here.
We could pop in for a while and
have a talk.
I asked some people about him.
They call him Mr Crocodile.
It's better to stay away from him.
Is it his real name?
No, it's his nickname.
But he doesn't like it.
The one who calls him like this
lands up among his crocodiles.
- It's dangerous business.
- Nobody pays for a safe one.
What if I didn't deliver
this sausage.
You'd be invited to lunch.
- By you?
- No, by my crocodiles.
What I meant was that something could
happen to the sausage.
- Or it could burst out.
- Your heart would burst out first.
Isn't it better to eat it?
It's a mixture of salt and garlic.
Only a crocodile or my wife can eat it.
Doesn't the taste matter?
The most important is that it doesn't
get stinky in transport.
The company here is not very nice.
I mean the animals.
At least nobody comes here uninvited and
if he does, he doesn't stay for long.
Look at their lovely faces.
Are they for rearing or breeding?
For shoes, you moron.
I've got a plane ticket for tomorrow.
The Polish airlines flight to Warsaw.
Take the stuff and don't come here
again.
Get lost now. You'll find the way to
the airport yourself.
One life's not enough to handle
the abundance of the burden...
Episode III
A WHIPPING GIRL.
Who'll replace you for a while?
Lessen daily problems file?
A trustworthy alternate,
him and you, hand in hand.
World's spinning, time's flowing,
life's passing.
And the voice that keeps repeating:
Radio Taxi, please hold on.
We shall wait, we'll hang on,
we shall get to where we're told.
Frankly speaking,
everything's got its price.
If you're not equal to a task,
your alternate's the one to ask.
The right man that takes things easy
though spare part's often missing.
Dear faithful alternate's like
a spare wheel when you need it.
We know well those bends and junctions
we respect our memories.
Radio Taxi, hold the line.
We will do with understanding
being also understood.
Our life's being reeled,
spinning like fast like a car's wheel.
Speed it up and scud along
your alternate'll keep the pace.
Spinning round the serpentines,
moving on or underground.
Radio Taxi please hold on.
We shall wait.
There has to be something...
There has to be something
round the bend.
- Where to?
- To Anin.
Great. I'll visit my friend
in the hospital there.
The Arabs work even on Saturdays.
Apparently they do it only once a week.
He didn't agree to a trio.
A few years ago, in winter I was
in the Forum Hotel.
All of sudden all the girls
were told to leave the hotel.
Without any reason?
The local ones moved the business
to their flats.
I left through the staff entrance and
was back right after the curfew.
There was nothing they could do.
They had to let me in.
The hotel was packed with foreigners.
There was a full range to choose from.
I stayed in the hotel for two days.
For me it was a good winter.
- Haven't you got smaller notes?
- Keep the change.
- Take this.
- For the patient.
Instead of the flowers.
That's a real friend.
Put it in there.
When're you leaving?
They promised to take the plaster off
tomorrow afternoon.
Then I'll be able to pick you up.
Have you been on your own
all the time?
Till now yes. I've been waiting
for you. We'll square up later on.
- Why're so yellow?
- It's because of the moonlight.
- He looks the same.
- That's true.
I'll wake up your pal.
It's very early.
He's fast asleep.
He's a V.I.P.
It's a suicide to work like this and
spend so much time on commuting.
That belong to the past.
Look what I've got.
- You joined the building society.
- You're making a big mistake.
You'll retire before you
move into this flat.
I can't believe that a Warsaw cabman
cannot find some permanent digs.
To my calculation, every tenth female
passenger owns her own lodgings.
Not every tenth but every hundredth.
Am I to make eyes to every single one?
I may only have my face slapped.
Go to the Lonely Hearts Agency
and give an ad.
- I'm looking for a dark haired...
- No, a blond'd be better.
age about 25, fond of cooking,
with her own flat.
They'll find someone.
And then I'll find out that the blond's
dark-haired living in a rented flat.
With three children staying temporarily
with the grandparents.
Reading the papers carefully you can
find very interesting offers.
There's a special magazine which
prints something like that:
Two nice ladies are seeking parties
to contract a treaty of friendship...
co-operation and the exchange of
personal experience. Or...
give it to me so I'll show you.
It's under the pillow.
What's going on here?
What're you doing here?
How did you get in?
Through the door.
It's all right, I expected him.
I thought he was bothering you.
I'm not saying good bye.
See you in the evening.
You've got a nice friend but he's
taking you this afternoon.
What day is it today?
12th of September.
For me it's been an unlucky day
for forty years.
- 13 is supposed to be unlucky.
- In my case it's one day earlier.
On 12th of September 1944 I spent
the whole day...
in the Chinese Consulate
which was under machine guns fire.
Towards evening, when I was going to our
quarters in Okrag Street... about 100 m
- It was 200 meters.
- No, 100. I can bet.
I was shot in the leg and that was
the end of my taking part in the war.
- Was it in Okrag? Which number?
- Number 2, of course.
- Rudy's boys had their quarters there.
- I used to live there.
I was the boy who'd bring
you the coffee.
I remember this coffee made of barley.
But then it tasted like pure coffee.
You'll be late again.
I won't if you let me
take the car.
First you must get
the driving licence.
- I'm busy with my training.
- Are you going or not?
It's very hard for him without a car.
Try to get into his position.
I won't let him drive without the
licence. Kids must be kept in line.
Oh, it's you.
Let's go. Only a minesweeper
can't make a mistake.
They comb out such tramps from
the station. Can I have your ID?
Unemployed? Why didn't you go to
the job centre yesterday?
I did.
- Wasn't there any job for you?
- No.
- What's your profession?
- A bullfighter.
- Who's a bullfighter?
- I'll tell you later.
It won't be easy to say good bye,
Mr Stanislav.
It's high time you stopped addressing
yourselves so officially.
Good idea.
What do you think?
I'll be very pleased. I've to tell you
something in a less official tone.
Can you open this?
We have all the necessary things
for the ceremony.
To him now.
Call me Stasiek.
Tomasz.
Now I have to tell you that you
really...
Good morning, gentlemen.
Has any of you had jaundice?
- Never in my life.
- Thank God I haven't.
I wish you'd had.
When you were given
the antitetanus injection...
the nurse used a needle infected
with the virus.
- So now you have it.
- We take it for granted.
Since now, you're on a strict diet.
And first of all, no alcohol.
Mr Michalik will be moved to
a single-bed ward.
No way.
I want to stay with Stasiek.
- Haven't you seen the boss?
- No, I haven't.
- Good morning, sir.
- Morning.
- You look very today, sir.
- Thank you.
You have to go
and get those wheel.
Jus a second.
How many wheel do we need?
200 pairs, sir.
The purchasing dept did a good job.
But I have a question to ask.
How many wheel can I take
into the van?
About 50.
That means the van
will have to make...
4 runs while a lorry could
take all of them in one run.
We should work efficiently instead
of wasting social wealth.
Of course, sir, but we can have
the lorry in the afternoon...
and if we don't collect the wheel
we'll have to pay the penalty.
So use you brains.
Miss Kasia has something else to do.
You'll go to my house now.
My wife needs you for something.
A small present as usual.
I've an appointment with my
hairdresser at 11 a.m.
So as not to waste time we can
pop in to Mirowska supermarket.
Koszyki supermarket's closer.
But they have deliveries at
the end of the week.
Good.
Nice only at the top.
You'll buy nice fruit at Polna market.
Come on, let's start.
Take two jars of mayonnaise,
fruit juice, mushrooms...
two tins of tomato puree.
You stay here while I'll go to the
fish stand. They may have tea there.
Can you keep my place for a while?
They're selling crackers at
the sweets stand.
- Would you like a packet?
- No, thank you.
I'll also go to buy the crackers.
Will you remember me?
I don?t know. Some people have
already left the queue.
I'll give you the list of those
entitled to get into the line.
I'm Karter. Spelt with K.
Who was in front of you?
A blond lady with a trolley bag.
Here you are.
It's very slow there.
This one's moving faster.
You'll replace me there and I'll
stay here.
- I'll take the place of this lady.
- I've got a list..
So let's sign up my name.
Koniuszko.
You'll keep the list.
Now, I can go to buy the crackers.
- This lady will stand here.
- Yes, she had her place here.
There's a delivery at the chemist's.
Everybody can buy two bottles
of shampoo. I'll go and see.
Why're you so slow?
It'd be faster
if you were pregnant.
I can't arrange that at such
a short notice.
The woman I know has told me that one
of our neighbours has twins.
They're not even 12 months old and they
are very small weighing about 5 kilos.
She rents the kinds to people who want
to avoid queuing.
How much does she
charge for that?
The heavier one's 200 per hour but
the smaller is more expensive.
You can choose the day you want.
It's not much if it helps to buy ham
or some other good sausage.
But you'll do
for my shopping today.
Hurry up. It's ten to 11.
My hairdresser's waiting.
Faster.
May I?
Take me quickly to the bulbs factory.
I can't be late for work.
I can't. I'm working.
People don't read at work.
Couldn't you have a lunch break now?
Clear off.
All right, but acting like this you're
not helping your country.
Don't count on me.
You're not busy?
Could you come inside for a while?
It's going to take some more time here.
Go to the school without me.
Can be done.
What did you say?
Can be done.
Karate or Kung-fu.
One move and he's down.
Get behind the wheel.
Monte Carlo's waiting for you.
Or the Safari Rally.
Do you have to park in front
of the school?
Next time pull over in the bay.
- Careful!
- They can see you.
- What was that sign?
- What sign?
You want me to concentrate on driving
and then you ask me about signs.
You can ask about signs
when we stop.
Besides, you shouldn't talk
to the driver. I'm nervous.
So relax.
Look where you're going.
You cow.
Soil for plants.
Did you see how I handled it?
The Grand Prix champion.
Did you get high or what?
Did you see that?
Didn't you see it was red?
You want me to pay attention either
to the signs or to the lights.
You better look into the mirror.
Give me the wheel.
Are you crazy?
What're you doing?
- Think for a while.
- That's exactly what I'm doing.
- What do you want anyway?
- Quick.
- I'm glad to see you, constable.
- Can I see your driving licence?
I've just seen a man wanted by
the police who was driving a motor bike.
I crossed at the red light to join
the pursuit.
Now he's got a moustache and a beard
but they must be false.
And that's why you were going
in zigzags?
I was scared. My hands were trembling.
Besides, I was waiting for you.
- Can I have this?
- Here you are.
How could I stop such a criminal?
It's not the same as you.
You're a superman.
- You say he was going this direction?
- Yes.
He's gone, so I can go on driving.
- No, I have to pick up your father.
- O.K. I know everything anyway.
Only a minesweeper can't
make a mistake. Now home.
I'm back.
We're going home.
How much petrol have you got?
- Almost half of the tank.
- Not enough, we'll have to fill up.
- I've got the coupons.
- That's what I'm saying.
Who are you? A manual or from
The Ministry of Internal Affairs.
- The Ministry, but a manual.
- How much do you make a month?
- Officially, of course.
- Not much.
- But I can manage somehow.
- Very well.
A manual with a low salary.
That's exactly who I'm looking for.
You see, I've got a son.
He's very bright
and I want him to be well educated.
So send him to the university to study
medicine or journalism.
The problem is that not only knowledge
counts, but social background as well.
I don't know anyone
that I could bribe.
And he has no chance if they take
into account my income.
I have a request.
Could you adopt my son?
You must be joking.
Not for free.
You'll get a new small Fiat.
But it'd be about 700 thousand.
Including the tax?
That?s right. And you'll always
be able to fill up here.
After all we'll be a family.
But if he doesn't pass and you
end up in prison...
- ...I'll have a kid to provide for.
- Don't even say such things.
I'll give you a draft covering
the whole amount.
Now, I can give you 100 thousand.
I'll be for him like another father.
In another Poland.
30 litres to the tank.
- It'd be better to have it in a can.
- Four star.
- Malicki borrowed the can.
- Don't make it difficult.
Rinse your mouth.
You can have 5 litres for yourself.
Here's the yesterday's paper.
Very interesting.
Now you'll go to get the wheels.
We can't stop the production only
because some parts are missing.
You won't complain.
We'll count it as overtime.
By the way, on Saturday we're going
mushroom picking.
- Thanks, but I won't go.
- You didn't understand.
- The people'll go in this van.
- But there's space for only 8 people.
That's not a problem.
We'll take only the most active members.
We can't afford renting a coach.
We can't afford renting a coach.
- It's not far, about 80 kilometres.
- You won't find even one mushroom.
The forest inspectorate which just
bought some of our cars...
had problems with insects.
Lots of moths or something like that.
The trees were sprayed with poisonous
stuff and the whole area was sealed off.
Nobody's been there for four months so
there're hundreds of mushrooms.
But they're poisoned.
The thing is that either they don't have
pesticides or a plane or petrol.
The situation resembles the one
this firm in Zoliborz is in.
Their mushrooms grow that big on this
fertilizer made of centipedes.
The mushrooms are
the least important.
There's nothing left.
Miss Kasia!
Miss Kasia, hurry up.
You'll go to the palace in Zatory.
It's not far from here.
Look for Mastalerz.
You'll leave these bottles.
Have you got the money?
And the head?
Old houses were built so well.
Nothing's been done here since the war
and the palace's still standing.
I'll do some repairs and it'll stand a few years longer.
You seem to be a clever man but you
think like a child.
- This is a short-sighted policy.
- Don't tell me such things.
People respect me.
But think for a while. We could have
this palace for ourselves.
And you could even get the money
for the renovation.
I know but I don't want to.
I know but I don't want to.
What for would I need a palace
with eight families living in it.
I'd have to buy flats
for all of them.
Even a rich man can't afford that,
not talking about me.
But I know how to handle it.
I say I'm not interested in the palace.
I don't do any repairs.
I don't care about
the roof or the gutters.
I let it leak, rotten
and fall into pieces.
You think it'll collapse one day?
it's bound to.
And then they'll get council flats.
All of them. You'll get rid of
the tenants.
- And what will I do with these ruins?
- Aren't there Radziwill's descendants?
When they learn that
their heritage is being wasted...
there'll be enough cash flow
to build the fourfold.
The palace can be converted into a hotel
for aristocracy, foreigners and snobs.
And the fourfold could be used
as a youth hostel.
Have you submitted your
application yet?
No, but I'm going to.
- Good afternoon.
- Mr Mastalerz, you've got a customer.
I'd be careful buying this. He uses
calcium carbide to make it.
- It's flammable.
- Don't scare away my customers.
Wait.
We call it "A Red Cap" or
"Ranger's Liqueur"...
'cause it approaches you quietly
and suddenly knocks you down.
I'm fine, standing on both legs
but you really have been knocked down.
- Will it be all right?
- Yes, but it's not a bargain for me.
Damn it. She scoffed at me.
I should've told her like this:
It's called "A Red Cap"
or "Ranger's Liqueur"...
as it attacks quietly and
knocks down unexpectedly.
I'm fine, standing on both legs
but you really have been knocked down.
Bend down.
I'll show you how it works.
- What?
- More, more.
- And? Did I drink?
- I have to check it again.
Am I saying you drank anything?
Miss Kasia! Where're you?
Miss Kasia, we need some more.
You know the way.
Mieszko will go with you.
Couldn't she bring more than a litre?
So much walking.
They must be having a big wedding party
'cause this girl flies like a Pershing.
Call me if she comes again.
I've got something to tell her.
I've mistaken you for someone else.
You're very much alike.
Do you think you can pat anything
you want?
Don't pretend to be so innocent.
Mind who you're talking to.
You tyke.
Sir, can he pat me or your son?
Generally, women are to be patted.
Don't argue. Have a drink
and give each other a kiss.
I've got enough of this.
Bye, bye, my lovely company.
I'll never see you again.
Even if they beg me.
They promised me the annual
subscription of two newspapers.
Peasants.
Get stuffed with your mushrooms.
Are you going to Warsaw?
Not here.
Closer to the white one.
Check near the bottle.
I'm not driving. Not after drinking.
There're a lot of police on the road.
Son, you've got a chance
to practice your skills.
Try to do your best.
- Anybody missing?
- No, sir.
So let's go.
Watch the snag!
You won't go any further now.
How fast can such a tractor go?
30 kilometres an hour.
But towing a van it can make about 15.
In two hours we'll be close to Warsaw.
I haven't liked your job anyway.
You'll all end up in prison.
Why don't you marry some foreigner
and go to another country?
So that you could sleep on her bed.
You're so selfish.
- I will manage.
- It's not a job for a woman.
You could be a doctor, a lawyer
or a cashier in a butcher's shop.
An interesting job, contact with
other people.
Being a driver you have a breath
stinking of petrol.
They don't even have any respect
for you.
She passed the second level
of the driving test.
She'll find a job easily.
She could be an office clerk.
Nice work, people respect you...
and you can always go shopping
during the office hours.
A driver should be a man.
There're female drivers in our company
and they are good.
So am I to be a taxi driver again?
I've heard that the taxi company
needs some people.
There's a vacancy in our museum.
In the Matejko's section.
In what?
A section with Matejko's paintings.
Nice and warm surroundings.
Spending 8 hours a day in close
contacts with these masterpieces...
made me so sensitive...
that I really get sick having to
queue for hours.
Even Mrs Oltarzewska notices
I'd changed.
It's not a job for me. I can't stay
in one place for so long.
You keep on complaining
about being tired.
When there're a lot of visitors.
The worst are school children.
One want to sign a painting, the other
to check if the paint doesn't come off.
Or whether he can lift a picture.
- See.
- But that's life, and culture.
Not being sent for home-made vodka.
This will all end up one day.
Careful!
I was approached by a fat man
with a gold tooth.
He was glad to meet someone
from Polish Television.
He says that he loves Poland he'd
like us to take some powder to Warsaw.
He'll pay us $1000 for each pound.
Maybe, but Poland is only a transit
country. Nobody can afford to...
He said we could hide it
in film boxes.
They're not opened at the customs.
The man I told you about works
somewhere here.
We could pop in for a while and
have a talk.
I asked some people about him.
They call him Mr Crocodile.
It's better to stay away from him.
Is it his real name?
No, it's his nickname.
But he doesn't like it.
The one who calls him like this
lands up among his crocodiles.
- It's dangerous business.
- Nobody pays for a safe one.
What if I didn't deliver
this sausage.
You'd be invited to lunch.
- By you?
- No, by my crocodiles.
What I meant was that something could
happen to the sausage.
- Or it could burst out.
- Your heart would burst out first.
Isn't it better to eat it?
It's a mixture of salt and garlic.
Only a crocodile or my wife can eat it.
Doesn't the taste matter?
The most important is that it doesn't
get stinky in transport.
The company here is not very nice.
I mean the animals.
At least nobody comes here uninvited and
if he does, he doesn't stay for long.
Look at their lovely faces.
Are they for rearing or breeding?
For shoes, you moron.
I've got a plane ticket for tomorrow.
The Polish airlines flight to Warsaw.
Take the stuff and don't come here
again.
Get lost now. You'll find the way to
the airport yourself.