Zmiennicy (1986–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Ostatni kurs - full transcript
ALTERNATES
One life's not enough to handle
the abundance of the burden...
Episode II
LAST DRIVE.
Who'll replace you for a while?
Lessen daily problems file?
A trustworthy alternate,
him and you, hand in hand.
World's spinning, time's flowing,
life's passing.
And the voice that keeps repeating:
Radio Taxi, please hold on.
We shall wait, we'll hang on,
we shall get to where we're told.
Frankly speaking,
everything's got its price.
If you're not equal to a task,
your alternate's the one to ask.
The right man that takes things easy
though spare part's often missing.
Dear faithful alternate's like
a spare wheel when you need it.
We know well those bends and junctions
we respect our memories.
Radio Taxi, hold the line.
We will do with understanding
being also understood.
Our life's being reeled,
spinning like fast like a car's wheel.
Speed it up and scud along
your alternate'll keep the pace.
Spinning round the serpentines,
moving on or underground.
Radio Taxi please hold on.
We shall wait.
There has to be something...
There has to be something
round the bend.
It'll take me at least an hour.
You don't have to wait for me.
Oh, no, Ciapulek. I'll pop into
the shops and we'll meet in an hour.
Have a nice meeting.
She tortures me with unjustified
suspicions.
It undermines my authority,
but I can't get rid of her.
- Did you go mushroom picking?
- Yes, to Bangkok.
They're big.
When they're fresh.
They'll get smaller when they dry.
Nothing keeps me here.
You're not married.
I've been married 3 times
and I've got enough.
A mistress is not good, either. She
only thinks how to contract matrimony.
A man must be careful.
So how are you coping with this?
The only way to success is
specialisation in every respect.
Do you go wending?
It's much cheaper.
No rows, consequences and nagging.
Only the advantages.
Professionalism and beauty
to satisfy everybody.
One, for instance,
enjoys being whipped.
- Whipped?
- Didn't you hear about it?
It's said to be pleasant.
Not when you're really being whipped.
I'd say it sound painful.
- Others like cavalry style.
- What's that like?
A girl must be wearing a uniform.
And some drill of course.
Left, right, forward, about turn.
And the most important part
is up and down.
But real professionals are
scarce these days.
Our laziness is really destructive.
I'm surprised it all sticks together.
- What if she demands alimony?
- There've been such cases.
But I often go on business trips.
Sometimes for quite some time.
I've got an alibi for any time.
- What if she brings charges at once?
- Who? A woman of which country?
You're joking.
An intercontinental woman?
A wife may check the contents of your
wallet while you have a snooze
but a professional would never do that.
besides, if you reported
on her to the police.
she'd be in a mess for
the whole month.
The times've changed. In this respect
it's the same as in the rest of Europe.
But you can't say it's cheap.
Maybe not cheap, but cheaper
than having a wife.
Do you call your wife
"my dearest"?
Lots of times. That's the best proof.
She is the dearest.
All the trips abroad, presents,
and food, of course.
What do you get in return?
Rows and discontent.
What is it?
They delivered the wreath of the
monument of sportsman's effort.
Put it somewhere.
There're lots of young and
beautiful girls.
It's easy when you've got it free.
An affair with a member of the club?
This'd mean the next step is marriage.
- Just one small step and nothing else.
- That's right.
Or I'd have to say bye bye to the club.
Besides, all this envy and intrigues.
By the way, how much is it?
The current price is $50.
- Oh gosh.
- It's not that much.
If you go on a business trip
in Poland...
...you'll get 200 zloty a day.
Calculate it.
Of course she is there.
I'd have to get rid of her first.
Take the lift to the basement.
In the garage ask about Wojtek.
He's my driver and he'll know
where to take you.
And your wife can wait a bit.
It'll teach her to be more confident.
Flowers for Flora.
- But send my driver back.
- Thanks.
Is anything the matter?
Shall I pull over?
No, no. Don't stop.
- I dropped my pen.
- You're holding it in your hand.
I've just picked it up.
I'm in a hurry.
I haven't bathed my kid for a week.
Surprisingly, he's still fine.
Eskimos don't have any wash...
and they're the healthiest
nation in the world.
Though they're midgets.
There's nothing to complain about.
I've been thirsty since
the morning and...
I still haven't had anything to drink.
Drinking is the most important.
- No Eskimo would survive without it.
- They drink cod-liver oil.
You can't get cod-liver oil anywhere.
Here you are.
Is it paraffin or what?
Do you want to poison people?
Taste it.
- It's a story for a newspaper.
- Only for that.
Definitely not for drinking.
This water is specially enriched
in minerals.
The scientists think how to satisfy
people but you're still unhappy.
Perhaps it smells a bit of iron
but iron is very healthy.
You don't want this water?
Then you won't have any.
Some kid is peeing on my head again.
Boss, it's a natural spill.
Cover this hole with something
or I'll catch a cold.
Hey, you! Come here.
Put this stone here.
Will you give me a lift?
- Another 100 meters.
- I can't, there's No entry sign.
You've got a "pass".
Yes, but only in emergency.
The boss told me to hurry up.
Excuse me, I need to go to Baniocha.
Is it on your way?
- O.K.?
- Get in.
What is it?
What's that sign over there?
Why should I know? I've got a "pass".
I'm in a hurry.
Can I see it?
My husband must've taken it together
with the car registration.
He's over there.
Leave the junction and show me
your documents.
I have to make a phone call.
Can you put me through to my father?
Hi daddy. As usual.
It's unbearable.
Someone here would like to talk to you.
Bye dad.
You should've asked for more cars.
These few will not execute the plan.
But in return I have to give a job
to your brother-in-law for helping us.
I deserve a free drive.
I'll be back in half an hour and
then we'll straight to the base.
Inspector Belon. Accountant Zapiorek.
M.A. Abramczyk.
M.A. Abramczyk. Clerk Bulzacki.
Inspector Belon. Accountant Zapiorek.
What's going on there?
They brought the trucks. A bit twisted
and the cars jumps the metals.
Some inventor from the headquarter
came to the idea that...
they could be straightened by
the force pressure.
The white collar workers straighten
them by a half of a centimetre.
As their contribution to the idea.
For nothing?
The one who'll jump the highest
will get promotion.
For taking part in the competition.
But this steel is damn hard.
My contribution will be changing
the cooler pipe.
What is it?
- Have you got a telephone?
- I have.
Something's wrong with the drain
trench. I have to call the ambulance.
But be quick.
Clean your hands and the shoes.
Three nines.
Emergency?
Why're you shouting like this?
I understood.
Two people were injured in a plumbing
accident. One's unconscious.
Don't move them until we arrive.
We can step in only in the presence
of the policeman on duty.
Thank you. Good bye.
- Now the police.
- Unfortunately not.
I'm in a hurry.
Besides, there's a policeman round
the corner. There's no need to call.
I'm sorry but my dog got lost.
A black poodle. Haven't you seen it?
I haven't but my grand son mentioned
something about it. He'll go with you.
Thank you. Don't bother.
Probably it's not this dog anyway.
Could I get a glass of water?
- I have to take some medicine.
- Yes, sure.
There may be some problem with it
but maybe I have some mineral water.
I'm not in a hurry.
Ciapulek.
Ciapulek.
Don't hide from me.
I know you're here.
We shall wait.
The mouse weighs 5 tons.
School children collected 80 kilos.
It hasn't got the eyes.
We can wonder whether it's supposed
to be a metaphor referring to
the illiteracy of our ancestors.
It's not a metaphor.
When the monument is fixed...
there'll be two red
bulbs installed...
as a warning device for planes
flying at low altitudes.
A mouse being a lighthouse.
It's a metaphor after all.
What does the missing tail mean?
The tail'll be sent later on.
It was so...
They'll straighten it.
I got your point.
If we're to be on time I suggest that
you should continue the conversation
- ...during the flight.
- I'll look even better.
Two more jumps and it'll be
over for today.
Could you point at something below
and comment on the flight?
Stand closer to him so I can
see you both.
Lean on the pilot.
That's too intimate.
Hold this.
Bend forward.
That's it, straight to a scrap-heap.
What now?
Let's go back.
No, let's continue our flight.
The Press and other people're waiting.
Could you sign it quickly?
Don't gather here.
Thank you very much.
- How many were there?
- One.
One? They had two
in the ambulance.
Who witnessed it?
Now we won't have water supply
for the whole month.
It's a story for a newspaper.
What happened?
- A mouse struck a Fiat.
- And what happened?
Nothing. The car'll be taken to scrap
and the driver to hospital.
Such poor quality.
Good afternoon.
I'm collecting signatures under
this letter of protest.
I don't get involved into politics.
Besides, I generally don't complain.
- And I don't live in this area.
- Then it doesn't concern you.
On behalf of the residents
we wrote this letter of protest
with regards to the water supply.
Firstly, the main pipe is rusted
which seems to be proved by
underwater spills.
Example: two weeks ago Mrs Burska
spotted a tadpole in the tap water.
Secondly, the water they
provide us with in the meantime
is treated with oil derivatives.
Thirdly, the repair works don't comply
with any safety regulations.
Example: a supervisor of the working
party was injured by a passer-by
who fell into a drain trench
straight on his head.
Both were taken to hospital what means
a delay in pipe installation.
The name of the passer-by:
Michalik Tomasz.
Ciapulek.
You've understood at last.
Great.
Could you sign it?
Be careful as the road is not safe.
A hankerchief, a diary, an ID for
the name of Tomasz Michalik.
A bunch of flowers.
You misspelt "handkerchief".
Now the other one.
Take both patients to the operating
ward. Here are their cards.
But which is which?
I'm surprised you want
to study medicine.
A doctor must, first of all,
be a born psychologist. Read this.
- Michalik Tomasz.
- Occupation?
- A chairman.
- High level.
Now look.
Which of the patients has a high
forehead? Intelligent eyes?
Refined nostrils?
A chin suggesting the ability
to make decisions.
A perpendicular wrinkle means
he's capable of deep cogitation.
- What does the other one do?
- He's a taxi driver.
Low forehead, a fold over the eyebrows,
a crooked nose, faded face, hazy eyes.
This will do. Now I know.
Take Mr Michalik.
First for an injection
and then to the operating ward.
My husband was brought here. I must
see him. His name's Tomasz Michalik.
It's impossible at the moment.
He's being operated.
What time will he leave?
I'm afraid his stay won't be
shorter than a month.
We'll see.
The clinic. Michalik speaking.
Send an ambulance to the district
hospital.
And three people.
Of course, they can be doctors.
A surgeon, a GP
and an anesthesiologist.
It's my husband.
I'm waiting.
But don't keep me waiting until...
See, a real lady.
She didn't say the rude word.
What're you reading?
A very realistic novel
called "A Leper".
Take him quickly to the ambulance.
- I'm to take him to the room.
- Everything's been already arranged.
But I've got him on the list.
Careful!
- What shall we do with this driver?
- Put him on a bed in the corridor.
Lesiak Stanislaw.
How're you feeling?
Better?
Very well. In a month's time
we'll be dancing at your wedding.
Yes, we'll be dancing at your wedding.
- But I already have a wife.
- That's even better.
And the kids. So small.
Mrs Lesiak, the round's over.
Zenek, come back here.
Where's he?
- The second bed on the left.
- Zenek!
It's not serious.
- But we mustn't neglect anything.
- He looks so miserable.
There's an underflow here.
We have to turn the bed.
- Now, it's under my bed.
- All right, all right.
Put some majoran under his pillow.
And some charlock below his navel.
It's not Stasiek. It's some tiny one.
What do you mean it's not him?
The papers seem all right,
I knew something was wrong.
The pendulum was nearly broken
by the forces.
- Who are you?
- A psycho-bioenergotherapist.
Doctor, it's not my husband.
He's not a bit like Stasiek.
Calm down.
We'll remove the plaster tomorrow.
Now the instruments're locked.
Anyway, nobody died in any accident
today. That's certain.
- Besides, it may be him.
- It's not.
There may be some discrepancy
but an ID counts first of all.
Excuse me.
What is it, buddy?
Could you do me a favour?
Call my wife and tell her I'm here.
The number is 380675.
- What's your surname?
- Enough if you say Ciapulek.
But I haven't got the change
for the telephone.
Never mind. This public phone takes
the money without a connection.
But in half an hour Dr Trys
starts his duty.
And then our nurse pays him
a half an hour visit.
There's a phone in her room.
You can manage half an hour.
I took Ciapulek to our clinic.
And I told them that only male staff
can look after him.
I've got him at last.
My brother-in-law never runs out of
the ideas how to arrange his affairs.
I wouldn't be so sure if I were you.
I'll only answer this.
What? I don't understand.
From the district hospital?
On the first floor?
No, it's not too late.
Thank you very much.
Great news.
Good bye.
You were right.
This scoundrel wanted
to trick me again.
- He is still in this mortuary.
- I bet he's not alone in his bed.
Dad? Yes, it's me.
I can't tell you now. I'm very upset.
I need an ambulance right now.
And six strong men.
Lots of love, bye.
- Good morning.
- What is it?
I've got some news for you.
From Poland.
Here you are. It's for you.
A souvenir.
- May your elephant swim in milk.
- Could you come here for a moment?
Would you like to earn
a hundred times than this?
Everybody would.
Hero...
I'm not forcing you. But look.
This is $100.
Here you are.
And this is another $100.
Take the other half.
And think it over.
Go home, think about it.
And come back if you decide to.
If you don't, you'll have to halves.
Bye now. You're in a hurry.
And make sure your elephant's trunk
doesn't get entangled in the cactus.
Don't you like it?
It's the best coffee in the area.
It's a combination of pure coffee,
barley grain, some flavours, etc.
- Am I saying anything?
- That's it. You're not.
Don't pretend you're eating.
You're only chewing the gum.
You've had it for three days now.
Didn't you see on TV it'd make your
jaws very big. Like a bulldog.
And you'll have cavities.
And you'll be late for school.
That's for sure.
Another smart one. Why don't you
put on a dress? You look awful.
- Does that bother you?
- Of course, it does.
I was already married when I was
your age. I know men.
- She's waiting for some Bruce Lee.
- Don't be so smart.
Clear the table and off you go.
Your sandwiches are in this sack.
Now they carry such sacks. They
might as well carry shopping bags.
- Hi, daddy.
- Hi.
Why so early?
Are you all right after carrying
all these potatoes to the cellar?
As usual. It got on fire again.
In the same place.
There're no spare cars
so I have a day off.
It's strange.
Does it only happen to you?
To everybody. All because
of these stupid sleeves.
When they were made of plastic a car
could run for a week.
Now they stopped producing them.
If not one expert the whole city
transport would collapse.
It occurred to him that wood could be
used instead of the imported plastic.
Craftsmen accepted the offer and now
there's an unlimited supply.
And at this moment the law
of friction starts applying.
- And everything gets on fire.
- Burning like in Hell.
You should call a meeting to discuss it.
In TV news they often show such...
- This coffee is cold.
- You've eaten Kasia's breakfast.
Never mind.
I don't eat anything at work.
And that's why you're thin as a rake.
We'll have a hen for dinner on Sunday.
I'll feed you a bit.
- I'm off.
- A hen? you must be raving.
Why? Yesterday they brought some
live country hen to the butcher's.
They won't be rationed.
Why're you saying they will be?
They're but they'll be sold
in a few days.
Before the list of those
who wanted to buy them was made
the hens'd started to lay eggs.
And a problem appeared...
because some of them
didn't lay any.
Now the number of eggs laid is
different than the number of hens.
Everybody wants a hen with an egg.
Now a special commission's negotiating
with the staff of the shop
whether the ones who bought the hens
without the egg should be given one
or whether the hens should be sold
without the eggs.
There'll be years
before you settle this.
It's not a State Bus Company. Some
very energetic woman handles this.
Why don't you have some rest,
now that you have a day off.
I'm going to join the queue in front
of the shop with domestic appliance.
What for?
We'll be signing up the list to buy
a washing machine.
We have no space for a washing machine.
Who's talking about having it?
When we have a washing machine we can
exchange it for a sink, a cooker
and maybe something else.
But it's not a problem for a man.
Hurry up man. My head's splitting.
I'll die without a drink.
I can't. It's a brand new car.
Go on.
This horn will kill me.
- The engine's not run-in...
- What? Me?
I'll teach her a lesson not to sound
a horn in the city. Just watch me.
I press the accelerator and the brake
pedal at the same time.
The car accelerates and the one behind
us thinks I stop. And what happens?
That's how you made a fool of
an impatient one.
You've lost something.
A metal cap.
Damn it.
Hey, you smart.
I'll tell you something.
I could tell her something that'd
make her speechless for a while.
You've lost something.
- A metal lid.
- So put it on your head.
- What am I to put? Where?
- Nothing.
Where to?
Will you buy some metal lids?
Put them on your head.
One life's not enough to handle
the abundance of the burden...
Episode II
LAST DRIVE.
Who'll replace you for a while?
Lessen daily problems file?
A trustworthy alternate,
him and you, hand in hand.
World's spinning, time's flowing,
life's passing.
And the voice that keeps repeating:
Radio Taxi, please hold on.
We shall wait, we'll hang on,
we shall get to where we're told.
Frankly speaking,
everything's got its price.
If you're not equal to a task,
your alternate's the one to ask.
The right man that takes things easy
though spare part's often missing.
Dear faithful alternate's like
a spare wheel when you need it.
We know well those bends and junctions
we respect our memories.
Radio Taxi, hold the line.
We will do with understanding
being also understood.
Our life's being reeled,
spinning like fast like a car's wheel.
Speed it up and scud along
your alternate'll keep the pace.
Spinning round the serpentines,
moving on or underground.
Radio Taxi please hold on.
We shall wait.
There has to be something...
There has to be something
round the bend.
It'll take me at least an hour.
You don't have to wait for me.
Oh, no, Ciapulek. I'll pop into
the shops and we'll meet in an hour.
Have a nice meeting.
She tortures me with unjustified
suspicions.
It undermines my authority,
but I can't get rid of her.
- Did you go mushroom picking?
- Yes, to Bangkok.
They're big.
When they're fresh.
They'll get smaller when they dry.
Nothing keeps me here.
You're not married.
I've been married 3 times
and I've got enough.
A mistress is not good, either. She
only thinks how to contract matrimony.
A man must be careful.
So how are you coping with this?
The only way to success is
specialisation in every respect.
Do you go wending?
It's much cheaper.
No rows, consequences and nagging.
Only the advantages.
Professionalism and beauty
to satisfy everybody.
One, for instance,
enjoys being whipped.
- Whipped?
- Didn't you hear about it?
It's said to be pleasant.
Not when you're really being whipped.
I'd say it sound painful.
- Others like cavalry style.
- What's that like?
A girl must be wearing a uniform.
And some drill of course.
Left, right, forward, about turn.
And the most important part
is up and down.
But real professionals are
scarce these days.
Our laziness is really destructive.
I'm surprised it all sticks together.
- What if she demands alimony?
- There've been such cases.
But I often go on business trips.
Sometimes for quite some time.
I've got an alibi for any time.
- What if she brings charges at once?
- Who? A woman of which country?
You're joking.
An intercontinental woman?
A wife may check the contents of your
wallet while you have a snooze
but a professional would never do that.
besides, if you reported
on her to the police.
she'd be in a mess for
the whole month.
The times've changed. In this respect
it's the same as in the rest of Europe.
But you can't say it's cheap.
Maybe not cheap, but cheaper
than having a wife.
Do you call your wife
"my dearest"?
Lots of times. That's the best proof.
She is the dearest.
All the trips abroad, presents,
and food, of course.
What do you get in return?
Rows and discontent.
What is it?
They delivered the wreath of the
monument of sportsman's effort.
Put it somewhere.
There're lots of young and
beautiful girls.
It's easy when you've got it free.
An affair with a member of the club?
This'd mean the next step is marriage.
- Just one small step and nothing else.
- That's right.
Or I'd have to say bye bye to the club.
Besides, all this envy and intrigues.
By the way, how much is it?
The current price is $50.
- Oh gosh.
- It's not that much.
If you go on a business trip
in Poland...
...you'll get 200 zloty a day.
Calculate it.
Of course she is there.
I'd have to get rid of her first.
Take the lift to the basement.
In the garage ask about Wojtek.
He's my driver and he'll know
where to take you.
And your wife can wait a bit.
It'll teach her to be more confident.
Flowers for Flora.
- But send my driver back.
- Thanks.
Is anything the matter?
Shall I pull over?
No, no. Don't stop.
- I dropped my pen.
- You're holding it in your hand.
I've just picked it up.
I'm in a hurry.
I haven't bathed my kid for a week.
Surprisingly, he's still fine.
Eskimos don't have any wash...
and they're the healthiest
nation in the world.
Though they're midgets.
There's nothing to complain about.
I've been thirsty since
the morning and...
I still haven't had anything to drink.
Drinking is the most important.
- No Eskimo would survive without it.
- They drink cod-liver oil.
You can't get cod-liver oil anywhere.
Here you are.
Is it paraffin or what?
Do you want to poison people?
Taste it.
- It's a story for a newspaper.
- Only for that.
Definitely not for drinking.
This water is specially enriched
in minerals.
The scientists think how to satisfy
people but you're still unhappy.
Perhaps it smells a bit of iron
but iron is very healthy.
You don't want this water?
Then you won't have any.
Some kid is peeing on my head again.
Boss, it's a natural spill.
Cover this hole with something
or I'll catch a cold.
Hey, you! Come here.
Put this stone here.
Will you give me a lift?
- Another 100 meters.
- I can't, there's No entry sign.
You've got a "pass".
Yes, but only in emergency.
The boss told me to hurry up.
Excuse me, I need to go to Baniocha.
Is it on your way?
- O.K.?
- Get in.
What is it?
What's that sign over there?
Why should I know? I've got a "pass".
I'm in a hurry.
Can I see it?
My husband must've taken it together
with the car registration.
He's over there.
Leave the junction and show me
your documents.
I have to make a phone call.
Can you put me through to my father?
Hi daddy. As usual.
It's unbearable.
Someone here would like to talk to you.
Bye dad.
You should've asked for more cars.
These few will not execute the plan.
But in return I have to give a job
to your brother-in-law for helping us.
I deserve a free drive.
I'll be back in half an hour and
then we'll straight to the base.
Inspector Belon. Accountant Zapiorek.
M.A. Abramczyk.
M.A. Abramczyk. Clerk Bulzacki.
Inspector Belon. Accountant Zapiorek.
What's going on there?
They brought the trucks. A bit twisted
and the cars jumps the metals.
Some inventor from the headquarter
came to the idea that...
they could be straightened by
the force pressure.
The white collar workers straighten
them by a half of a centimetre.
As their contribution to the idea.
For nothing?
The one who'll jump the highest
will get promotion.
For taking part in the competition.
But this steel is damn hard.
My contribution will be changing
the cooler pipe.
What is it?
- Have you got a telephone?
- I have.
Something's wrong with the drain
trench. I have to call the ambulance.
But be quick.
Clean your hands and the shoes.
Three nines.
Emergency?
Why're you shouting like this?
I understood.
Two people were injured in a plumbing
accident. One's unconscious.
Don't move them until we arrive.
We can step in only in the presence
of the policeman on duty.
Thank you. Good bye.
- Now the police.
- Unfortunately not.
I'm in a hurry.
Besides, there's a policeman round
the corner. There's no need to call.
I'm sorry but my dog got lost.
A black poodle. Haven't you seen it?
I haven't but my grand son mentioned
something about it. He'll go with you.
Thank you. Don't bother.
Probably it's not this dog anyway.
Could I get a glass of water?
- I have to take some medicine.
- Yes, sure.
There may be some problem with it
but maybe I have some mineral water.
I'm not in a hurry.
Ciapulek.
Ciapulek.
Don't hide from me.
I know you're here.
We shall wait.
The mouse weighs 5 tons.
School children collected 80 kilos.
It hasn't got the eyes.
We can wonder whether it's supposed
to be a metaphor referring to
the illiteracy of our ancestors.
It's not a metaphor.
When the monument is fixed...
there'll be two red
bulbs installed...
as a warning device for planes
flying at low altitudes.
A mouse being a lighthouse.
It's a metaphor after all.
What does the missing tail mean?
The tail'll be sent later on.
It was so...
They'll straighten it.
I got your point.
If we're to be on time I suggest that
you should continue the conversation
- ...during the flight.
- I'll look even better.
Two more jumps and it'll be
over for today.
Could you point at something below
and comment on the flight?
Stand closer to him so I can
see you both.
Lean on the pilot.
That's too intimate.
Hold this.
Bend forward.
That's it, straight to a scrap-heap.
What now?
Let's go back.
No, let's continue our flight.
The Press and other people're waiting.
Could you sign it quickly?
Don't gather here.
Thank you very much.
- How many were there?
- One.
One? They had two
in the ambulance.
Who witnessed it?
Now we won't have water supply
for the whole month.
It's a story for a newspaper.
What happened?
- A mouse struck a Fiat.
- And what happened?
Nothing. The car'll be taken to scrap
and the driver to hospital.
Such poor quality.
Good afternoon.
I'm collecting signatures under
this letter of protest.
I don't get involved into politics.
Besides, I generally don't complain.
- And I don't live in this area.
- Then it doesn't concern you.
On behalf of the residents
we wrote this letter of protest
with regards to the water supply.
Firstly, the main pipe is rusted
which seems to be proved by
underwater spills.
Example: two weeks ago Mrs Burska
spotted a tadpole in the tap water.
Secondly, the water they
provide us with in the meantime
is treated with oil derivatives.
Thirdly, the repair works don't comply
with any safety regulations.
Example: a supervisor of the working
party was injured by a passer-by
who fell into a drain trench
straight on his head.
Both were taken to hospital what means
a delay in pipe installation.
The name of the passer-by:
Michalik Tomasz.
Ciapulek.
You've understood at last.
Great.
Could you sign it?
Be careful as the road is not safe.
A hankerchief, a diary, an ID for
the name of Tomasz Michalik.
A bunch of flowers.
You misspelt "handkerchief".
Now the other one.
Take both patients to the operating
ward. Here are their cards.
But which is which?
I'm surprised you want
to study medicine.
A doctor must, first of all,
be a born psychologist. Read this.
- Michalik Tomasz.
- Occupation?
- A chairman.
- High level.
Now look.
Which of the patients has a high
forehead? Intelligent eyes?
Refined nostrils?
A chin suggesting the ability
to make decisions.
A perpendicular wrinkle means
he's capable of deep cogitation.
- What does the other one do?
- He's a taxi driver.
Low forehead, a fold over the eyebrows,
a crooked nose, faded face, hazy eyes.
This will do. Now I know.
Take Mr Michalik.
First for an injection
and then to the operating ward.
My husband was brought here. I must
see him. His name's Tomasz Michalik.
It's impossible at the moment.
He's being operated.
What time will he leave?
I'm afraid his stay won't be
shorter than a month.
We'll see.
The clinic. Michalik speaking.
Send an ambulance to the district
hospital.
And three people.
Of course, they can be doctors.
A surgeon, a GP
and an anesthesiologist.
It's my husband.
I'm waiting.
But don't keep me waiting until...
See, a real lady.
She didn't say the rude word.
What're you reading?
A very realistic novel
called "A Leper".
Take him quickly to the ambulance.
- I'm to take him to the room.
- Everything's been already arranged.
But I've got him on the list.
Careful!
- What shall we do with this driver?
- Put him on a bed in the corridor.
Lesiak Stanislaw.
How're you feeling?
Better?
Very well. In a month's time
we'll be dancing at your wedding.
Yes, we'll be dancing at your wedding.
- But I already have a wife.
- That's even better.
And the kids. So small.
Mrs Lesiak, the round's over.
Zenek, come back here.
Where's he?
- The second bed on the left.
- Zenek!
It's not serious.
- But we mustn't neglect anything.
- He looks so miserable.
There's an underflow here.
We have to turn the bed.
- Now, it's under my bed.
- All right, all right.
Put some majoran under his pillow.
And some charlock below his navel.
It's not Stasiek. It's some tiny one.
What do you mean it's not him?
The papers seem all right,
I knew something was wrong.
The pendulum was nearly broken
by the forces.
- Who are you?
- A psycho-bioenergotherapist.
Doctor, it's not my husband.
He's not a bit like Stasiek.
Calm down.
We'll remove the plaster tomorrow.
Now the instruments're locked.
Anyway, nobody died in any accident
today. That's certain.
- Besides, it may be him.
- It's not.
There may be some discrepancy
but an ID counts first of all.
Excuse me.
What is it, buddy?
Could you do me a favour?
Call my wife and tell her I'm here.
The number is 380675.
- What's your surname?
- Enough if you say Ciapulek.
But I haven't got the change
for the telephone.
Never mind. This public phone takes
the money without a connection.
But in half an hour Dr Trys
starts his duty.
And then our nurse pays him
a half an hour visit.
There's a phone in her room.
You can manage half an hour.
I took Ciapulek to our clinic.
And I told them that only male staff
can look after him.
I've got him at last.
My brother-in-law never runs out of
the ideas how to arrange his affairs.
I wouldn't be so sure if I were you.
I'll only answer this.
What? I don't understand.
From the district hospital?
On the first floor?
No, it's not too late.
Thank you very much.
Great news.
Good bye.
You were right.
This scoundrel wanted
to trick me again.
- He is still in this mortuary.
- I bet he's not alone in his bed.
Dad? Yes, it's me.
I can't tell you now. I'm very upset.
I need an ambulance right now.
And six strong men.
Lots of love, bye.
- Good morning.
- What is it?
I've got some news for you.
From Poland.
Here you are. It's for you.
A souvenir.
- May your elephant swim in milk.
- Could you come here for a moment?
Would you like to earn
a hundred times than this?
Everybody would.
Hero...
I'm not forcing you. But look.
This is $100.
Here you are.
And this is another $100.
Take the other half.
And think it over.
Go home, think about it.
And come back if you decide to.
If you don't, you'll have to halves.
Bye now. You're in a hurry.
And make sure your elephant's trunk
doesn't get entangled in the cactus.
Don't you like it?
It's the best coffee in the area.
It's a combination of pure coffee,
barley grain, some flavours, etc.
- Am I saying anything?
- That's it. You're not.
Don't pretend you're eating.
You're only chewing the gum.
You've had it for three days now.
Didn't you see on TV it'd make your
jaws very big. Like a bulldog.
And you'll have cavities.
And you'll be late for school.
That's for sure.
Another smart one. Why don't you
put on a dress? You look awful.
- Does that bother you?
- Of course, it does.
I was already married when I was
your age. I know men.
- She's waiting for some Bruce Lee.
- Don't be so smart.
Clear the table and off you go.
Your sandwiches are in this sack.
Now they carry such sacks. They
might as well carry shopping bags.
- Hi, daddy.
- Hi.
Why so early?
Are you all right after carrying
all these potatoes to the cellar?
As usual. It got on fire again.
In the same place.
There're no spare cars
so I have a day off.
It's strange.
Does it only happen to you?
To everybody. All because
of these stupid sleeves.
When they were made of plastic a car
could run for a week.
Now they stopped producing them.
If not one expert the whole city
transport would collapse.
It occurred to him that wood could be
used instead of the imported plastic.
Craftsmen accepted the offer and now
there's an unlimited supply.
And at this moment the law
of friction starts applying.
- And everything gets on fire.
- Burning like in Hell.
You should call a meeting to discuss it.
In TV news they often show such...
- This coffee is cold.
- You've eaten Kasia's breakfast.
Never mind.
I don't eat anything at work.
And that's why you're thin as a rake.
We'll have a hen for dinner on Sunday.
I'll feed you a bit.
- I'm off.
- A hen? you must be raving.
Why? Yesterday they brought some
live country hen to the butcher's.
They won't be rationed.
Why're you saying they will be?
They're but they'll be sold
in a few days.
Before the list of those
who wanted to buy them was made
the hens'd started to lay eggs.
And a problem appeared...
because some of them
didn't lay any.
Now the number of eggs laid is
different than the number of hens.
Everybody wants a hen with an egg.
Now a special commission's negotiating
with the staff of the shop
whether the ones who bought the hens
without the egg should be given one
or whether the hens should be sold
without the eggs.
There'll be years
before you settle this.
It's not a State Bus Company. Some
very energetic woman handles this.
Why don't you have some rest,
now that you have a day off.
I'm going to join the queue in front
of the shop with domestic appliance.
What for?
We'll be signing up the list to buy
a washing machine.
We have no space for a washing machine.
Who's talking about having it?
When we have a washing machine we can
exchange it for a sink, a cooker
and maybe something else.
But it's not a problem for a man.
Hurry up man. My head's splitting.
I'll die without a drink.
I can't. It's a brand new car.
Go on.
This horn will kill me.
- The engine's not run-in...
- What? Me?
I'll teach her a lesson not to sound
a horn in the city. Just watch me.
I press the accelerator and the brake
pedal at the same time.
The car accelerates and the one behind
us thinks I stop. And what happens?
That's how you made a fool of
an impatient one.
You've lost something.
A metal cap.
Damn it.
Hey, you smart.
I'll tell you something.
I could tell her something that'd
make her speechless for a while.
You've lost something.
- A metal lid.
- So put it on your head.
- What am I to put? Where?
- Nothing.
Where to?
Will you buy some metal lids?
Put them on your head.