Zeroman (2004–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Mutton in Common - full transcript
I love you, Ty.
You hear me?
Give me that! It's mine!
I love you and I
appreciate all that you do.
What says I love you more,
The Mother's Day waxing kit
or the foot massager, huh?
I got it! I got it!
It's the last one! Aah!
Hold on citizen. Don't let go.
Trevor. Jesus, that was close.
She almost let go.
I've been giving
it some thought.
I feel a gift made,
not a gift bought
is the road to any mother's
heart on Mother's Day.
But a spare waxing kit around
here could come in handy.
- It's mine! Give me that!
- It's mine! Give me that!
Get back I say.
This is mine.
Mine! Mine!
Ty! Ty!
It's ringing.
Places everyone.
Hello?
Yay!
Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
Woo! And a 1, 2, 3, 4
Who is this?
Do I know you?
It's me, Mother.
Your darling boy, Rusty
and Happy Mother's Day.
I don't have a son.
I used to have a son.
A son I was proud of.
But, Mother!
A child superstar.
So chuck-full of talent,
it would leak out
of his drawers.
I devoted my every
waking hour to that boy.
Accordion lessons,
baton, jazz, and tap.
Mother.
I threw away the
best years of my life
turning that son into
the cutest little
apple-cheeked button
to ever hit a
Sunday night sitcom.
Then you get yourself
bounced off your own show.
Everyone gets older Ma.
I got zits and crow's
feet from the stress.
Blame the makeup
department, not me.
What does it take Ma, huh?
What's it gonna take
to finally win back a
little love and respect?
Is it gonna take
the mother of all
Mother's Day gifts, huh?
Is that what it's
gonna take, huh?
That depends.
What sort of gift could
possibly do all that?
Uh, I'll get back to you.
Bucky Dantine here.
Reporting live from Fair
City Convention Center
Where hundreds of
rabid Zeroman fans
anxiously await a
special appearance
by the Man of Zeal himself.
Fair City's favorites son
and one I'm sure that any
mother would be proud of.
Aw, he had to go and say that.
Quick, grab the kid's nuts.
They used to line
up for me, ingrates.
I used to be adored like that.
Remember?
Ah, forget them, Rusty.
They're all a bunch of
get a life dork-wads
parading around in
those stupid costumes
like it's Halloween
or something.
Of
course, that's it.
All I need to make Mother proud
is to become the all-powerful,
invulnerable master
of the world.
And I know just how to do it.
First, we'll need a couple
of dork-wad costumes
just about your size.
This is the best you
could come up with?
Nothing in plaid?
Mmm.
Great flaming hole on a stick.
Don, want one?
Watch it you moron.
This suit ain't flame
retarded, you know?
Now, we're supposed
to be putting a grab
on Zeroman's number
one fan, not eatin'.
Right, sorry.
Uh, where do we start?
Not a chance, sonny boy.
You're way outta your league.
Everyone here knows that I'm
Zeroman's number one fan!
Well, that's sure
narrows it down.
Beauty.
Like you said, Ty,
a gift made not bought is
the road to a mother's heart.
Especially since I had
no money at the mall
because as you know, I--
Never carry cash or
personal items into battle.
Yes, I know.
Now, what manner
of sabotage is this?
You know, I'm no
expert or anything,
but it works better
if the macaroni is,
you know, un-cooked.
You're right.
Not that I'd given
it much thought,
but do you suppose it's possible
to actually un-cook something?
I mean, if we try really,
really hard for dear old mom.
Oh, dear Lord.
I suppose it would
depend on how cooked it was
in the first place though.
But there are two of us and--
Great flaming hole!
Looks like you're tackling
this un-cooking thing
on your own, Ty.
Some Fair City unfortunate
is in need of the
Man of Zeal's help.
An important news flash.
Zeroman's number one fan
has been kidnapped
by Rusty Woodenwater.
The failed preteen
thespian turned criminal.
Thespian, eh?
I never would've taken
Rusty for a religious man.
Uh, boy. Uh, man-boy.
But no matter whose
candles he's burning,
if ransom is Rusty's game,
he is barking into the wind.
Zeroman, come on.
This sounds serious.
What are you gonna do about it?
Not a thing, Ty.
I refuse to negotiate
with known criminals.
My number one fan
knows that, and by God,
they'd be willing
to take one the shin
before seeing me compromise
my do-good principles.
But you just can't do nothing.
Oh, yes I can, Ty.
Hmm, but isn't doing nothing
really an act of
doing something.
Boy, if we aren't giving the
old noodle a workout today.
We've just
received confirmation
that Zeroman's
kidnapped number one fan
is none other than
Jaundice Mutton.
Mommy?
Van Gogh's ear,
Brandall's baby teeth,
a dirt bike, I
always wanted one,
a national holiday
named after me,
a potato coincidentally
baring my likeness,
and last but not least,
Zeroman's super suit,
which is rightfully
mine I might add.
All that in exchange
for his number one fan
or else!
Or else what?
You gonna stamp your
feeties and pee your pants?
You big baby.
Oh, yeah?
Well, you just wait.
You just waited until
I'm in Zeroman's shorts.
Ooh, cut, cut, cut!
Cut out that last
part and attach a note
informing that soon-to-be
out to pasture superhero,
that he has 30 minutes to
make good on all my demands.
No, make that 29 minutes.
At long last, Mother
will be proud of me,
as I stand before
her as the invulnerable,
all-powerful master of the world.
Ah, geez.
We should have got that on tape.
It was gold kid, real gold.
Gold as yellow snow.
I'm getting upset here.
Doesn't anyone notice that
I'm getting upset here?
Uh, ma'am,
I don't suppose you could
just try to look terrified.
Yeah, you know, maybe
shake in your socks a little.
Don't wear socks,
and I'm no lady.
And thanks to you,
Three Stooges,
I'm in for an up close
and personal rescue
from Zeroman himself.
Why, I'll bet Zeroman is
hauling his buns of Zeal
down here right now to
tear you limb from limb.
Mommy, mommy,
mommy, mommy, mommy.
Mommy, mommy,
mommy, mommy, mommy.
As I suspected, a textbook case
of mommy-go-bye-bye syndrome.
Zeroman, you gotta
snap out of it.
We have less than
29 minutes to comply
or else Rusty's gonna,
or else your mother.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
And on top of that,
just look at all these
flaming hole emergencies.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
I hate to do this, but
we can't just sit here.
I'm switching the super
suit to joystick override.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
Now, which buttons
move forward?
Come on.
Citizens, remember
good driving and safe and fun
courtesy are everybody's fight.
Always signal and--
Ooh, look at me.
I'm Rusty.
I'm gonna make Zeroman
bend to my will
'cause I'm big and
bad and--
Where is he?
Where the heck is Zeroman?
Help! Help! My Jimmy's fallen.
He brought me here for
mother's day.
Uh, Zeroman, near.
Uh, never here.
No, no,
no need to thank me.
And what's with
the clown pants?
Are you hiding your diapers?
That's it!
I'm telling you to put a
sock in it or, or, or else.
Or else what?
You don't have the stones
for it, Failure Boy.
You know what?
I hope Zeroman
doesn't come across.
So I can, I can,
or else you good.
Maybe even two times.
Think of your mother, Rusty.
Think of Mommy.
Remember you promised her
the suit master of the world.
Yeah, you're right.
Make mother proud.
That's the priority.
The super suit.
I really, really need the suit
almost as much as I
need to get rid of her.
Why isn't he here?
Where is he?
That's what I wanted
you to find out, Connie.
He was supposed to
be here an hour ago.
The geeks are getting restless.
Well, perhaps we
sport the colors
of the Cape Crusader
of not erroneously.
As the Man of Z's
questionable tardiness
would indicate a cavalier,
almost rogue-like lack
of concern for his fans.
I'm just saying.
And I'm just
saying relax, Orca.
There's probably a perfectly
good reason Zeroman isn't here.
And if any of us should know,
I should know because I am
Zeroman's number one fan.
I'm
Zeroman's number one fan.
Hello?
Hey.
Hello?
It's mine.
Hello, Connie.
What have you got?
Uh-huh, no fooling.
It's all over the news, huh?
A Zero fan has been kidnapped.
That's why Zeroman's not here.
He's out there saving
one of our own right now.
Forgive me for
doubting you man of Zeal.
To, Zeroman.
Great Flaming Holes.
Time's up.
Where is he?
Wasn't the ransom
video clear enough?
Uh, superhero suit in
exchange for, or else.
Who wrote this crap?
Oh, sure.
It's always someone
else's fault, isn't it?
You big failure.
Zeroman's not coming because
you weren't convincing enough.
Who taught you how to act?
Unconvincing? I
was too convincing.
I'm calling Zeroman myself.
Not convincing? I'll
show you convincing.
Go take your nap junior.
I'm gonna show you
how to do this right.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
Help me Zeroman!
It is your number one fan!
Mommy?
They're torturing me.
And making me do horrible
unspeakable things.
I don't know how
long I can last.
Please, Zeroman,
save me!
You heard her Zeroman.
So what do you say
we cut the game?
I'll trade her for
the super suit,
and I'll throw in the rope.
I say you've gone way
too far this time rusty.
If you think I'm going to
hand over the only thing
that stands between you
and total world domination,
Well, you're right.
The super suit is yours.
Deal. No takes back.
You said it.
I admire your convictions Les,
but I strongly advise
you not give into Rusty
until all other options
have been exhausted.
If he gets his
hands on that suit,
he'll become the invulnerable,
all-powerful master
of the world.
It says so right
here on the tag.
Be that as it may old friend,
as Zeroman refuse to make
deals with criminals,
I, Les Mutton, refuse
to risk one hair
on my saintly mother's head.
I guess this means
that she really does
mean the world to me.
Bless her enlarged heart.
Les, we won't be able to
communicate without the glasses.
It's over Ty.
Don't you get it, man?
It's over.
Zeroman is no more.
It's between me and Rusty now.
Rusty and I.
Sorry, old chum.
He said to come alone.
Don't worry, father.
I'm bringing Mother home.
Other way.
All right.
You, you guys,
uh, where's my mother?
Your mother?
I believe you're
holding her hostage.
Oh, that mother.
Well, since you asked,
either Zeroman shows up and
hands over his super suit
or else, this.
She kept asking her else what?
So I gave her an or else what.
Mother?
Leslie? Oh, great.
Now you're here to
screw it all up too.
Well, actually I'm
here to save you.
Well, don't. Save your breath.
Go home and leave the
saving to Zeroman.
But you don't
understand, Mother.
I am Zeroman.
Huh?
Ah?
Uh?
What?
Somebody's been licking
too many stamps again.
But I am Zeroman,
or I used to be before I decided
to give up my super suit.
Look here it is.
Of course it'll need pressing
in the cotton setting
with a touch of steam.
Listen, pops, admitting that
piece of work is your mother
makes you one of the
bravest guys I've ever met.
But Zeroman? I don't think so.
No, really. I am Zeroman.
Wait till you see me
with my Zero Specs on.
Now where did I
put my glasses at?
Oh, no.
My glasses.
Oh, man. Think, Ty.
How can I get Les
the backup he needs
without getting his backup.
I have to do something,
but I'm running out
of time and ideas.
Oh, boy.
Gary, I hate to say this,
but I have a job for you.
Yeah, boy! Woo-hoo!
Now do you see? You
get the picture, right?
Now, do you see, do
you see who I am now?
Try squinting.
Oh, come on.
Oh, I know.
Ta-da! Zeroman here, ever near.
Oh, and I was feeling sorry
for Rusty's mother. God.
Okay, that's it.
If Zeroman doesn't walk through
that door in one second,
I'm gonna deep fry a
second cross daughter.
No, you've got to believe me.
I'm telling the truth.
Try it on if you
don't believe me.
I really am Zeroman.
No, I am Zeroman.
Ha-ha!
No, I am Zeroman!
No, I am Zeroman!
No I am Zeroman!
No, I am Zeroman!
I am Zeroman!
Which one of you
is the real Zeroman?
Ooh, ooh, ooh. It's me.
It's me.
The one thing I do know
is it's not the mailman.
You got that right.
It's definitely not him.
So if no one is
willing to cooperate,
I guess we'll have to
do this the hard way.
Get mother on the horn.
It's time.
Lay it on me, brother.
Rusty? Hey, what are you
doing in that ridiculous suit?
Making you proud,
Ma. Making you proud.
You were never proud
of me as just your son.
So how about as
the invulnerable,
all- powerful,
master of the world!
Behold my invincible
invulnerability!
Lay it on me, brother.
Okay, that's not the suit.
Hold on, Ma. Next.
Oh, yes. This is it.
I can really feel it
this time. Behold my--
Next.
Let's go again.
Rolling on four.
Once more.
Nope, not this one.
Yes, sir.
May I have another?
Next one's a keeper.
Let's go again.
Stop! I can't take it.
Besides, there's no way the
mailman has the right suit.
And I thought my son
was a disappointment.
Tell me about it.
As of this moment,
I have no son.
I did it all for you, Ma.
Did what? Fail again?
Some Mother's Day this is.
From now on, mail my checks.
Here comes the hissy fit.
Okay, that's it! I've had it!
Or else them! Or else them all!
Starting with the
mouthy old bat.
No one calls my
mother the B-word.
Now apologize and
let her go or else.
Or else what?
Or else this.
Ah! He's gone postal!
Don't forget your mail, Rusty.
Time to wrap this up.
Huh?
Special delivery,
care of the fair city
police department.
Hooray!
I may not be Zeroman,
but Les Mutton knows how
to dole out the mail.
Never mess with a
man's livelihood
or his mother, Rusty.
Especially on Mother's Day.
Oh, yeah?
Well, Happy Mother's
day, sucker!
Nice going.
Leslie!
Mother!
No!
My dear sweet mother, gone!
All gone because of me.
Never again will I see the
roomy twinkle in her eyes
or hear sweet husky voice
say Les, dear.
Get your rear
end getter and get over here.
Mother? Is that you
up there in heaven?
Fat chance of that.
I'm in the volcano you idiot!
It's just a stupid prop.
Now get me outta here!
Don't get too close.
I got the thermostat cut way
up for Zeroman all for nothing.
Thanks to you.
Well, sometimes a son has
to do what a son has to do.
You're moving out?
Oh, Lesley.
Oh, this is the best
Mother's Day gift
you could ever give me.
Oh, mother.
Hey, I almost forgot.
Happy Mother's Day.
I made it myself.
Why,
Les. Oh, this is--
Gonna come in handy.
That drafty studio must
have given me a cold.
Mother, you kept it
instead of tossing it
away like you always do.
This is the best
Mother's Day ever.
I don't know why I
keep these stupid things
or put up with that big
doofus year after year.
Mother! The
macaroni cheese is ready!
It's yours special
Mother's Day meal
that I cooked special for you.
Although, you may have to come
and help me un-cook it a bit.
You can't uncook macaroni you dead bolt!
We've been through this!
You hear me?
Give me that! It's mine!
I love you and I
appreciate all that you do.
What says I love you more,
The Mother's Day waxing kit
or the foot massager, huh?
I got it! I got it!
It's the last one! Aah!
Hold on citizen. Don't let go.
Trevor. Jesus, that was close.
She almost let go.
I've been giving
it some thought.
I feel a gift made,
not a gift bought
is the road to any mother's
heart on Mother's Day.
But a spare waxing kit around
here could come in handy.
- It's mine! Give me that!
- It's mine! Give me that!
Get back I say.
This is mine.
Mine! Mine!
Ty! Ty!
It's ringing.
Places everyone.
Hello?
Yay!
Happy Mother's Day, Mom!
Woo! And a 1, 2, 3, 4
Who is this?
Do I know you?
It's me, Mother.
Your darling boy, Rusty
and Happy Mother's Day.
I don't have a son.
I used to have a son.
A son I was proud of.
But, Mother!
A child superstar.
So chuck-full of talent,
it would leak out
of his drawers.
I devoted my every
waking hour to that boy.
Accordion lessons,
baton, jazz, and tap.
Mother.
I threw away the
best years of my life
turning that son into
the cutest little
apple-cheeked button
to ever hit a
Sunday night sitcom.
Then you get yourself
bounced off your own show.
Everyone gets older Ma.
I got zits and crow's
feet from the stress.
Blame the makeup
department, not me.
What does it take Ma, huh?
What's it gonna take
to finally win back a
little love and respect?
Is it gonna take
the mother of all
Mother's Day gifts, huh?
Is that what it's
gonna take, huh?
That depends.
What sort of gift could
possibly do all that?
Uh, I'll get back to you.
Bucky Dantine here.
Reporting live from Fair
City Convention Center
Where hundreds of
rabid Zeroman fans
anxiously await a
special appearance
by the Man of Zeal himself.
Fair City's favorites son
and one I'm sure that any
mother would be proud of.
Aw, he had to go and say that.
Quick, grab the kid's nuts.
They used to line
up for me, ingrates.
I used to be adored like that.
Remember?
Ah, forget them, Rusty.
They're all a bunch of
get a life dork-wads
parading around in
those stupid costumes
like it's Halloween
or something.
Of
course, that's it.
All I need to make Mother proud
is to become the all-powerful,
invulnerable master
of the world.
And I know just how to do it.
First, we'll need a couple
of dork-wad costumes
just about your size.
This is the best you
could come up with?
Nothing in plaid?
Mmm.
Great flaming hole on a stick.
Don, want one?
Watch it you moron.
This suit ain't flame
retarded, you know?
Now, we're supposed
to be putting a grab
on Zeroman's number
one fan, not eatin'.
Right, sorry.
Uh, where do we start?
Not a chance, sonny boy.
You're way outta your league.
Everyone here knows that I'm
Zeroman's number one fan!
Well, that's sure
narrows it down.
Beauty.
Like you said, Ty,
a gift made not bought is
the road to a mother's heart.
Especially since I had
no money at the mall
because as you know, I--
Never carry cash or
personal items into battle.
Yes, I know.
Now, what manner
of sabotage is this?
You know, I'm no
expert or anything,
but it works better
if the macaroni is,
you know, un-cooked.
You're right.
Not that I'd given
it much thought,
but do you suppose it's possible
to actually un-cook something?
I mean, if we try really,
really hard for dear old mom.
Oh, dear Lord.
I suppose it would
depend on how cooked it was
in the first place though.
But there are two of us and--
Great flaming hole!
Looks like you're tackling
this un-cooking thing
on your own, Ty.
Some Fair City unfortunate
is in need of the
Man of Zeal's help.
An important news flash.
Zeroman's number one fan
has been kidnapped
by Rusty Woodenwater.
The failed preteen
thespian turned criminal.
Thespian, eh?
I never would've taken
Rusty for a religious man.
Uh, boy. Uh, man-boy.
But no matter whose
candles he's burning,
if ransom is Rusty's game,
he is barking into the wind.
Zeroman, come on.
This sounds serious.
What are you gonna do about it?
Not a thing, Ty.
I refuse to negotiate
with known criminals.
My number one fan
knows that, and by God,
they'd be willing
to take one the shin
before seeing me compromise
my do-good principles.
But you just can't do nothing.
Oh, yes I can, Ty.
Hmm, but isn't doing nothing
really an act of
doing something.
Boy, if we aren't giving the
old noodle a workout today.
We've just
received confirmation
that Zeroman's
kidnapped number one fan
is none other than
Jaundice Mutton.
Mommy?
Van Gogh's ear,
Brandall's baby teeth,
a dirt bike, I
always wanted one,
a national holiday
named after me,
a potato coincidentally
baring my likeness,
and last but not least,
Zeroman's super suit,
which is rightfully
mine I might add.
All that in exchange
for his number one fan
or else!
Or else what?
You gonna stamp your
feeties and pee your pants?
You big baby.
Oh, yeah?
Well, you just wait.
You just waited until
I'm in Zeroman's shorts.
Ooh, cut, cut, cut!
Cut out that last
part and attach a note
informing that soon-to-be
out to pasture superhero,
that he has 30 minutes to
make good on all my demands.
No, make that 29 minutes.
At long last, Mother
will be proud of me,
as I stand before
her as the invulnerable,
all-powerful master of the world.
Ah, geez.
We should have got that on tape.
It was gold kid, real gold.
Gold as yellow snow.
I'm getting upset here.
Doesn't anyone notice that
I'm getting upset here?
Uh, ma'am,
I don't suppose you could
just try to look terrified.
Yeah, you know, maybe
shake in your socks a little.
Don't wear socks,
and I'm no lady.
And thanks to you,
Three Stooges,
I'm in for an up close
and personal rescue
from Zeroman himself.
Why, I'll bet Zeroman is
hauling his buns of Zeal
down here right now to
tear you limb from limb.
Mommy, mommy,
mommy, mommy, mommy.
Mommy, mommy,
mommy, mommy, mommy.
As I suspected, a textbook case
of mommy-go-bye-bye syndrome.
Zeroman, you gotta
snap out of it.
We have less than
29 minutes to comply
or else Rusty's gonna,
or else your mother.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
And on top of that,
just look at all these
flaming hole emergencies.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
I hate to do this, but
we can't just sit here.
I'm switching the super
suit to joystick override.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
Now, which buttons
move forward?
Come on.
Citizens, remember
good driving and safe and fun
courtesy are everybody's fight.
Always signal and--
Ooh, look at me.
I'm Rusty.
I'm gonna make Zeroman
bend to my will
'cause I'm big and
bad and--
Where is he?
Where the heck is Zeroman?
Help! Help! My Jimmy's fallen.
He brought me here for
mother's day.
Uh, Zeroman, near.
Uh, never here.
No, no,
no need to thank me.
And what's with
the clown pants?
Are you hiding your diapers?
That's it!
I'm telling you to put a
sock in it or, or, or else.
Or else what?
You don't have the stones
for it, Failure Boy.
You know what?
I hope Zeroman
doesn't come across.
So I can, I can,
or else you good.
Maybe even two times.
Think of your mother, Rusty.
Think of Mommy.
Remember you promised her
the suit master of the world.
Yeah, you're right.
Make mother proud.
That's the priority.
The super suit.
I really, really need the suit
almost as much as I
need to get rid of her.
Why isn't he here?
Where is he?
That's what I wanted
you to find out, Connie.
He was supposed to
be here an hour ago.
The geeks are getting restless.
Well, perhaps we
sport the colors
of the Cape Crusader
of not erroneously.
As the Man of Z's
questionable tardiness
would indicate a cavalier,
almost rogue-like lack
of concern for his fans.
I'm just saying.
And I'm just
saying relax, Orca.
There's probably a perfectly
good reason Zeroman isn't here.
And if any of us should know,
I should know because I am
Zeroman's number one fan.
I'm
Zeroman's number one fan.
Hello?
Hey.
Hello?
It's mine.
Hello, Connie.
What have you got?
Uh-huh, no fooling.
It's all over the news, huh?
A Zero fan has been kidnapped.
That's why Zeroman's not here.
He's out there saving
one of our own right now.
Forgive me for
doubting you man of Zeal.
To, Zeroman.
Great Flaming Holes.
Time's up.
Where is he?
Wasn't the ransom
video clear enough?
Uh, superhero suit in
exchange for, or else.
Who wrote this crap?
Oh, sure.
It's always someone
else's fault, isn't it?
You big failure.
Zeroman's not coming because
you weren't convincing enough.
Who taught you how to act?
Unconvincing? I
was too convincing.
I'm calling Zeroman myself.
Not convincing? I'll
show you convincing.
Go take your nap junior.
I'm gonna show you
how to do this right.
Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.
Help me Zeroman!
It is your number one fan!
Mommy?
They're torturing me.
And making me do horrible
unspeakable things.
I don't know how
long I can last.
Please, Zeroman,
save me!
You heard her Zeroman.
So what do you say
we cut the game?
I'll trade her for
the super suit,
and I'll throw in the rope.
I say you've gone way
too far this time rusty.
If you think I'm going to
hand over the only thing
that stands between you
and total world domination,
Well, you're right.
The super suit is yours.
Deal. No takes back.
You said it.
I admire your convictions Les,
but I strongly advise
you not give into Rusty
until all other options
have been exhausted.
If he gets his
hands on that suit,
he'll become the invulnerable,
all-powerful master
of the world.
It says so right
here on the tag.
Be that as it may old friend,
as Zeroman refuse to make
deals with criminals,
I, Les Mutton, refuse
to risk one hair
on my saintly mother's head.
I guess this means
that she really does
mean the world to me.
Bless her enlarged heart.
Les, we won't be able to
communicate without the glasses.
It's over Ty.
Don't you get it, man?
It's over.
Zeroman is no more.
It's between me and Rusty now.
Rusty and I.
Sorry, old chum.
He said to come alone.
Don't worry, father.
I'm bringing Mother home.
Other way.
All right.
You, you guys,
uh, where's my mother?
Your mother?
I believe you're
holding her hostage.
Oh, that mother.
Well, since you asked,
either Zeroman shows up and
hands over his super suit
or else, this.
She kept asking her else what?
So I gave her an or else what.
Mother?
Leslie? Oh, great.
Now you're here to
screw it all up too.
Well, actually I'm
here to save you.
Well, don't. Save your breath.
Go home and leave the
saving to Zeroman.
But you don't
understand, Mother.
I am Zeroman.
Huh?
Ah?
Uh?
What?
Somebody's been licking
too many stamps again.
But I am Zeroman,
or I used to be before I decided
to give up my super suit.
Look here it is.
Of course it'll need pressing
in the cotton setting
with a touch of steam.
Listen, pops, admitting that
piece of work is your mother
makes you one of the
bravest guys I've ever met.
But Zeroman? I don't think so.
No, really. I am Zeroman.
Wait till you see me
with my Zero Specs on.
Now where did I
put my glasses at?
Oh, no.
My glasses.
Oh, man. Think, Ty.
How can I get Les
the backup he needs
without getting his backup.
I have to do something,
but I'm running out
of time and ideas.
Oh, boy.
Gary, I hate to say this,
but I have a job for you.
Yeah, boy! Woo-hoo!
Now do you see? You
get the picture, right?
Now, do you see, do
you see who I am now?
Try squinting.
Oh, come on.
Oh, I know.
Ta-da! Zeroman here, ever near.
Oh, and I was feeling sorry
for Rusty's mother. God.
Okay, that's it.
If Zeroman doesn't walk through
that door in one second,
I'm gonna deep fry a
second cross daughter.
No, you've got to believe me.
I'm telling the truth.
Try it on if you
don't believe me.
I really am Zeroman.
No, I am Zeroman.
Ha-ha!
No, I am Zeroman!
No, I am Zeroman!
No I am Zeroman!
No, I am Zeroman!
I am Zeroman!
Which one of you
is the real Zeroman?
Ooh, ooh, ooh. It's me.
It's me.
The one thing I do know
is it's not the mailman.
You got that right.
It's definitely not him.
So if no one is
willing to cooperate,
I guess we'll have to
do this the hard way.
Get mother on the horn.
It's time.
Lay it on me, brother.
Rusty? Hey, what are you
doing in that ridiculous suit?
Making you proud,
Ma. Making you proud.
You were never proud
of me as just your son.
So how about as
the invulnerable,
all- powerful,
master of the world!
Behold my invincible
invulnerability!
Lay it on me, brother.
Okay, that's not the suit.
Hold on, Ma. Next.
Oh, yes. This is it.
I can really feel it
this time. Behold my--
Next.
Let's go again.
Rolling on four.
Once more.
Nope, not this one.
Yes, sir.
May I have another?
Next one's a keeper.
Let's go again.
Stop! I can't take it.
Besides, there's no way the
mailman has the right suit.
And I thought my son
was a disappointment.
Tell me about it.
As of this moment,
I have no son.
I did it all for you, Ma.
Did what? Fail again?
Some Mother's Day this is.
From now on, mail my checks.
Here comes the hissy fit.
Okay, that's it! I've had it!
Or else them! Or else them all!
Starting with the
mouthy old bat.
No one calls my
mother the B-word.
Now apologize and
let her go or else.
Or else what?
Or else this.
Ah! He's gone postal!
Don't forget your mail, Rusty.
Time to wrap this up.
Huh?
Special delivery,
care of the fair city
police department.
Hooray!
I may not be Zeroman,
but Les Mutton knows how
to dole out the mail.
Never mess with a
man's livelihood
or his mother, Rusty.
Especially on Mother's Day.
Oh, yeah?
Well, Happy Mother's
day, sucker!
Nice going.
Leslie!
Mother!
No!
My dear sweet mother, gone!
All gone because of me.
Never again will I see the
roomy twinkle in her eyes
or hear sweet husky voice
say Les, dear.
Get your rear
end getter and get over here.
Mother? Is that you
up there in heaven?
Fat chance of that.
I'm in the volcano you idiot!
It's just a stupid prop.
Now get me outta here!
Don't get too close.
I got the thermostat cut way
up for Zeroman all for nothing.
Thanks to you.
Well, sometimes a son has
to do what a son has to do.
You're moving out?
Oh, Lesley.
Oh, this is the best
Mother's Day gift
you could ever give me.
Oh, mother.
Hey, I almost forgot.
Happy Mother's Day.
I made it myself.
Why,
Les. Oh, this is--
Gonna come in handy.
That drafty studio must
have given me a cold.
Mother, you kept it
instead of tossing it
away like you always do.
This is the best
Mother's Day ever.
I don't know why I
keep these stupid things
or put up with that big
doofus year after year.
Mother! The
macaroni cheese is ready!
It's yours special
Mother's Day meal
that I cooked special for you.
Although, you may have to come
and help me un-cook it a bit.
You can't uncook macaroni you dead bolt!
We've been through this!