Zeroman (2004–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Crack of Doom - full transcript
He's known
only as Zeroman.
Fair City's resident superhero
and staunch defender of justice.
But who is this
elderly man of zeal?
And why is he so darn super?
Answers to these questions,
and a glimpse of the
man behind the glasses,
right here on Your Daily Dirt.
Ah, oh oh, whoa.
Oop.
First of all,
thank you for coming, Zeroman.
It's my pleasure Bucky.
I'm sure I speak
for all our viewers
when I say what's
with the glasses?
Aren't superheros supposed
to have supervision?
Well, not when
they reach my age,
but all kidding aside,
they belonged to my late father
and I wear them to conceal
my secret identity.
They are pretty big.
I mean, they take
up your whole face.
Dad had a large head.
And thick.
They make your eyes
look all wonky.
Doesn't it bother you?
The only thing that bothers
me is wrongdoing Bucky,
and novelty furniture,
and pretty much everything
in the dairy case.
In case you're just tuning in,
this is an intimate
sit down with Zeroman.
Just watch this cat
in action folks.
What huh?
Ah.
Whoa! Oop.
Wow. Let's go to the phones.
I have Muriel from Glace Bay.
Hello Muriel.
Hey there Zeroman.
How's it going?
Do you have a question Muriel?
Why in
Pat's pocket book
do you call yourself
Zeroman, aye?
And where you'd get them
there super powers and all?
I took the name Zeroman
because I have zero tolerance
for evilness and
bad guys, Muriel.
And as for how I got my
powers, I'd rather not say.
Why not?
Because than just
anybody could go out
and get themselves a super suit
and be super enhanced like me.
Fair enough.
Well, that's all
the time we have.
I'd like to thank our
special guest, Zeroman.
Fair City's most
famous favorite son
since faded child
star turn bad guy,
Rusty Woodenwater.
Rusty who?
Goodnight.
Whoo!
Whee!
Rusty who?
I'll show them Rusty who.
They'll rue the
day they ever heard
they forgot the name
of Rusty Woodenwater.
He's everywhere I tell ya,
he's even more famous than me.
It's not fair.
That should be me
up there not him!
That super suit is mine,
not his.
It's a crying
shame I'm telling ya.
Giving TV time to
pretty boys like that
instead of good
comedian kids like you.
Jeepers.
I don't think I've
seen him this upset
since they canceled his show.
Oh, now you've done it.
I thought I told you
never to mention that.
Sorry Rusty.
Sorry isn't a solve
for insensitivity, Rob.
You know I've been carrying
around a lot of pain
since that terrible day.
I need a cashew.
Where are my cashews?
Give the kid a nut!
Where are the kids nuts?
Soon, the people of Fair City
will pay for tuning me out.
Oh, yes, because the
means to my evil comeback
is being delivered
to me as we speak.
Hi Les, great day for
delivering the mail, huh?
Every day in the
service of our government
is a great day, Sally.
Say, did you happen to catch
Zeroman on TV last night?
I must have missed it.
Oh, well, he seems
like quite a guy.
I guess.
And remarkably flexible
for a man of his years.
You know, the talk
around town is that
I'm supposed to
be Zeroman's girl,
but for all the times
he's saved my life
I hardly even know him.
In fact, I'm really
interested in someone else.
Oh, well, well I, but
I, I don't have time
for chit chat when delivering
the peoples mail, Sally.
What I mean to say is,
you could be really
close to somebody,
like we are right now,
and still not know
anything about them
or how they feel
or have any idea
who they really, really are.
Sally, I have
something to tell you.
Yes, Les?
A secret so
important in telling
that I've been
dying to tell you.
So tell me.
Okay, here goes.
Sally Uberchick, I Les Button,
am in actual fact
the one they call-
Moron! Hey, moron!
Hey, have you got a
package for me or what?
Go on Les, what did
you wanna tell me?
Come on,
pops. Let's go.
We're not getting any younger.
Later, Sally.
I'm not about to let
anxious Joe Public down.
One package addressed to
Mister Rusty Woodenwater.
It's here!
At long last, my day of
reckoning is at hand.
That parcel looks
suspicious Les,
did you let the canine
unit inspect your mail bag
before you left?
Well, I'm not a big fan
of dogs sniffing my bags, Sally.
I'm sure he just,
sent a way for a nice
therapeutic model kit
or, or, or, or something.
Haven't you son?
Actually, if you must Know,
it's an atomic detonator.
A coffee maker. He,
he means coffee maker.
An atomic coffee maker?
So the kid likes
strong coffee.
What's the matter with that?
Say no more.
Have a good day citizens.
Hello? Mayor McWod?
Guess who just became
a nuclear power?
You have 24 hours to
make good of my demands
or I'll blow your
Fair City away.
Ciao.
Great, good God in heaven.
Fair City is in peril.
Send out the call
for Zeroman.
Les Look, it's the
universal cry for Zeroman.
Great flaming hole.
That means there's trouble.
Well, gotta run.
Hold it, Les.
Why is it that every time
we see a giant flaming hole
you have to rush off?
Why, that's,
that's simple, Sally.
Whenever I see a
giant flaming hole
it always makes me
think of the pain
and the itch of hemorrhoids
and I have to go reapply.
You're kidding.
Gee, you
think Zeroman saw it?
He has to. Keep trying!
Hi, mom, I'm home.
Not feeling too
good. Gotta go. Bye.
Oh, don't mind him.
He'll be in there for hours.
Ty, come in Ty.
This is Les, what's
the poop? Over.
Les, the
mayor's been trying
to get in touch with
you, man to man.
Well, that's quite
flattering, but uh-
Just get
your butt down here.
Ew!
Why is nothing happening?
I don't know.
I'm trying to relax.
With the SCAT scanner?
Try jiggling the handle.
Genetic bum print accepted.
Commencing poop shoot.
Whoa.
What's, oh.
Whee!
Whee!
Ow, ooh. Oh, oh, ah.
Mayor Mcwod, Zeroman
here, ever near.
Zeroman.
Rusty Woodenwater
is at it again.
What's the scamp
up to this time?
He's got his hands on
an atomic bomb is what
and he's threatening to
nuke Fair City unless-
Unless what?
What, what's wrong?
This always happens
at the good part.
Something's jamming our
signal, something big.
It would have to be
something, something very big,
bigger than a, a, a, a bread box
and, and metal like a, a bus.
Oh my stars.
It's a bum.
You mean a bomb.
No. A bum.
And it's prairie dogging.
Prairie dogging.
And poised to pitch it's
nuclear load all over Fair City.
But why?
What could Rusty
possibly hope to achieve?
Mayor's people are faxing
Rusty's demands of it right now.
Boy, they're good.
All right, aside from a bunch
of really senseless demands,
Rusty wants the mayor to return
him to his rightful place
on network TV.
No surprise there.
And-
And, and what?
Out with it lad.
And Zeroman or else.
So it's me, he wants is it?
Darn good thing our mayor elect
doesn't easily knuckle under
to such senseless demands.
And so under my
executive order,
Zeroman will be hunted
down and sacrificed
for the good of all.
And now without any
further unpleasantness,
it is my pleasure to introduce
the Rusty Woodenwater
Welcome Back Review.
Hi, and welcome to my show!
For the next 24 hours I'll
be the only thing on TV.
At the end of which I
promise to unmask Zeroman
or end the show with a bang.
An atomic bang.
Either way.
Geez, I can't
believe that mayor
is knuckling under so fast.
I can't believe
rusty is on every channel.
What happened to my soaps?
Who spins pie plates anymore?
Well, I for one,
won't just stand by
as that bitter man
child takes away
the rights of your
viewing public.
This ends now.
What are you doing?
Turning myself in
for the good of all.
Okay, but
after you're gone
and rusty has the super suit,
who will protect the
world from him then, huh?
Don't help me, I
should know this.
Look. My advice to you
is to call his bluff.
There's no way he's gonna
set off that big A bum.
Trust me, just sit tight
and try to take your mind off
Rusty for the next 24 hours.
Okay.
I'm gonna need something
stronger than this.
Hmm, I gotta
get this watch fixed.
Has it been 24 hours already?
I'm as fresh as a daisy.
You're a one man show
wrecking crew out there kid.
If I don't pull a 70
share, I will kiss my sister.
So are we all set
for the big finish?
Do we have Zeroman?
We don't have Zeroman?
The whole show
only depends on me
unmasking Zeroman on the air.
My fans are expecting it!
We're trying Rusty.
Really, we are.
Chief Helga has her men
scouring the city for him,
but he is hiding or something.
Hiding? Why is he hiding?
His Fair City is in peril.
He should be acting, not hiding.
Nothing ever works
out for me. Nothing.
He thinks that
you're bluffing.
You must draw him out, find
his weakness, and exploit it.
Wow. That sounds
wonderful there Helga.
And I have just the thing.
The strain
of inaction, too great.
I can't do nothing
any longer.
Yes you can.
I'm telling you Rusty
is bluffing, bluffing.
Uh oh, it looks like Rusty
just upped the stakes.
Sally!
Oh,
what fresh heck is this?
Sweet Sally Uberchick stuck
to the cheek of my big bum,
whatever will Zeroman do?
Will he risk
everything to save her,
or will he chicken out
and turn the other cheek,
so to speak?
Stay tuned, only time will tell.
Now, okay. That's it.
Nobody sticks Sally to the cheek
of a big shiny atomic bum
and gets away with it.
He's bluffing.
If it's Zeroman he wants-
Just a ploy to lure you in.
Its Zeroman he's gonna get.
But hey, don't listen to me.
I'm never right.
Out, out,
and away.
Oh my God.
Yeah!
Thank you, thank you so much.
Alright, Rusty.
Play time's over in
about three seconds,
I'm gonna turn you over
the bent knee of justice
and spank that
atomic bum of yours
into a sound
stinging submission.
Is that so?
Well aren't you
forgetting something?
No, I'm, I don't think so.
Turned off the stove,
fed the turtles and-
I have Sally.
Mom, I can't talk right
now I'm all tied up.
Yes, it has everything
to do with Zeroman.
No, we won't be
having children soon.
Look, I've gotta go. He's here.
It's me.
Sally, hi, hi Sally.
Doesn't she look terrific.
Yes, those big cheeks do
give her rather rutty glow.
And unless you surrender
I'll blow her up,
along with everyone else
in your precious Fair City.
Poop. Ty was right.
Ty's always right
I win!
Ow!
Ladies and gentlemen
of Fair City,
as promised for the
first and only time ever
I bring you
the unmasking of Zeroman.
Ow!
Ah!
Your glasses
Zeroman and the suit,
or the girl dies.
Never fear, Z-man has a plan.
Zero don't try anything.
Terrific!
No!
Ha, you missed me.
Nice try, Zero Hero.
What?
Look what you did, you idiot.
My atomic bum remote
control is broken.
Now even I can't stop the
countdown if I wanted to.
Yeah, But why would
you want to you're evil.
Evil yes,
but not stupid.
You mean all
this time you were-
Bluffing.
Do I look like I wanna die
in a nuclear explosion?
Do you have any idea how
destructive they are?
Hello?
Poop, Ty was right.
Ty's always right, again.
I only told you I was gonna
set it off to lure you here
so I could get my suit
back and kill you.
But now we're all gonna
die, thanks to you.
Nice going, Zeroman.
Yeah, thanks Zeroman.
Gee, I'm sorry, gang.
If there's any way I
could stop this, I would.
Well, for starters,
you could fly up there
and deactivate it.
Yeah, but it won't be easy.
You'll have to
crack the bum open
to get in it's
sensitive insights.
Child's play. Never fear,
Zeroman is here ever near.
Calm yourself Sally.
I'm here to rescue you,
whisk you to safety.
Hurry Zeroman!
Time is running out!
It's no use,
it it's so big and
cold and unreceptive.
Our only hope is to
muffle the explosion.
Look around for something
big and absorbent.
I'm I'm sorry.
I, I don't carry cash or
personal items into battle, Ty.
So I can't really afford
anything exorbitant right now.
I said absorbent.
Terrific.
Perfect. Put it on, quick.
I feel a little silly,
but thick with confidence.
Ah, no! Not on you,
put it on the bomb.
Oh, that makes
much more sense.
10.
Do you
think it'll hold?
It has
to, Sally. It has to.
9.
Sally, I have
something to tell you.
Something about you
- 8.
and
me, and Les and me.
7.
I have something
I'd like to say too, Zeroman.
About Les and me and you,
- 6.
but mostly Les.
What about you
and me and, and Les?
5.
Do you two ever talk about me?
4.
Sally! I can tell
you for a fact that
yes we do.
- 3.
Although it's usually
me doing the talking.
- 2.
- Oh, well,
could you get a
message to Les for me?
- If you have a
- 1.
message for him, I'll
make sure he gets it.
Initiation.
Aww.
Well,
Rusty said he was gonna
bring the house down.
Rusty? Where are you?
Rusty!
It's no use, chief.
He's gone.
Wait, come back.
You're my ride.
Oh no, those poor evil guys.
Do you think they're, you know?
Positive homo sapiens?
No!
Dead?
Yes!
No Sally, not dead, just gone.
Having slipped away to
do evil another day.
It's their way.
Okay, it's safe to
come out now, they're gone.
And so is my secret lair.
Ah, don't be such a whiner.
Some dry wall a little pink,
and this place to be
as good as new kid.
Well, I don't know
how secret it'll be,
or was, I mean
everybody knew about it.
Well, what was I
supposed to call it?
My public lair?
Anything but secret.
This stalwart
post will serve us well.
Until we rise from the ashes
and become the scourge
of Fair City once more.
And bring Zeroman to his knees.
For I am spite, I am evil.
I am Rusty Woodenwater.
My nuts.
only as Zeroman.
Fair City's resident superhero
and staunch defender of justice.
But who is this
elderly man of zeal?
And why is he so darn super?
Answers to these questions,
and a glimpse of the
man behind the glasses,
right here on Your Daily Dirt.
Ah, oh oh, whoa.
Oop.
First of all,
thank you for coming, Zeroman.
It's my pleasure Bucky.
I'm sure I speak
for all our viewers
when I say what's
with the glasses?
Aren't superheros supposed
to have supervision?
Well, not when
they reach my age,
but all kidding aside,
they belonged to my late father
and I wear them to conceal
my secret identity.
They are pretty big.
I mean, they take
up your whole face.
Dad had a large head.
And thick.
They make your eyes
look all wonky.
Doesn't it bother you?
The only thing that bothers
me is wrongdoing Bucky,
and novelty furniture,
and pretty much everything
in the dairy case.
In case you're just tuning in,
this is an intimate
sit down with Zeroman.
Just watch this cat
in action folks.
What huh?
Ah.
Whoa! Oop.
Wow. Let's go to the phones.
I have Muriel from Glace Bay.
Hello Muriel.
Hey there Zeroman.
How's it going?
Do you have a question Muriel?
Why in
Pat's pocket book
do you call yourself
Zeroman, aye?
And where you'd get them
there super powers and all?
I took the name Zeroman
because I have zero tolerance
for evilness and
bad guys, Muriel.
And as for how I got my
powers, I'd rather not say.
Why not?
Because than just
anybody could go out
and get themselves a super suit
and be super enhanced like me.
Fair enough.
Well, that's all
the time we have.
I'd like to thank our
special guest, Zeroman.
Fair City's most
famous favorite son
since faded child
star turn bad guy,
Rusty Woodenwater.
Rusty who?
Goodnight.
Whoo!
Whee!
Rusty who?
I'll show them Rusty who.
They'll rue the
day they ever heard
they forgot the name
of Rusty Woodenwater.
He's everywhere I tell ya,
he's even more famous than me.
It's not fair.
That should be me
up there not him!
That super suit is mine,
not his.
It's a crying
shame I'm telling ya.
Giving TV time to
pretty boys like that
instead of good
comedian kids like you.
Jeepers.
I don't think I've
seen him this upset
since they canceled his show.
Oh, now you've done it.
I thought I told you
never to mention that.
Sorry Rusty.
Sorry isn't a solve
for insensitivity, Rob.
You know I've been carrying
around a lot of pain
since that terrible day.
I need a cashew.
Where are my cashews?
Give the kid a nut!
Where are the kids nuts?
Soon, the people of Fair City
will pay for tuning me out.
Oh, yes, because the
means to my evil comeback
is being delivered
to me as we speak.
Hi Les, great day for
delivering the mail, huh?
Every day in the
service of our government
is a great day, Sally.
Say, did you happen to catch
Zeroman on TV last night?
I must have missed it.
Oh, well, he seems
like quite a guy.
I guess.
And remarkably flexible
for a man of his years.
You know, the talk
around town is that
I'm supposed to
be Zeroman's girl,
but for all the times
he's saved my life
I hardly even know him.
In fact, I'm really
interested in someone else.
Oh, well, well I, but
I, I don't have time
for chit chat when delivering
the peoples mail, Sally.
What I mean to say is,
you could be really
close to somebody,
like we are right now,
and still not know
anything about them
or how they feel
or have any idea
who they really, really are.
Sally, I have
something to tell you.
Yes, Les?
A secret so
important in telling
that I've been
dying to tell you.
So tell me.
Okay, here goes.
Sally Uberchick, I Les Button,
am in actual fact
the one they call-
Moron! Hey, moron!
Hey, have you got a
package for me or what?
Go on Les, what did
you wanna tell me?
Come on,
pops. Let's go.
We're not getting any younger.
Later, Sally.
I'm not about to let
anxious Joe Public down.
One package addressed to
Mister Rusty Woodenwater.
It's here!
At long last, my day of
reckoning is at hand.
That parcel looks
suspicious Les,
did you let the canine
unit inspect your mail bag
before you left?
Well, I'm not a big fan
of dogs sniffing my bags, Sally.
I'm sure he just,
sent a way for a nice
therapeutic model kit
or, or, or, or something.
Haven't you son?
Actually, if you must Know,
it's an atomic detonator.
A coffee maker. He,
he means coffee maker.
An atomic coffee maker?
So the kid likes
strong coffee.
What's the matter with that?
Say no more.
Have a good day citizens.
Hello? Mayor McWod?
Guess who just became
a nuclear power?
You have 24 hours to
make good of my demands
or I'll blow your
Fair City away.
Ciao.
Great, good God in heaven.
Fair City is in peril.
Send out the call
for Zeroman.
Les Look, it's the
universal cry for Zeroman.
Great flaming hole.
That means there's trouble.
Well, gotta run.
Hold it, Les.
Why is it that every time
we see a giant flaming hole
you have to rush off?
Why, that's,
that's simple, Sally.
Whenever I see a
giant flaming hole
it always makes me
think of the pain
and the itch of hemorrhoids
and I have to go reapply.
You're kidding.
Gee, you
think Zeroman saw it?
He has to. Keep trying!
Hi, mom, I'm home.
Not feeling too
good. Gotta go. Bye.
Oh, don't mind him.
He'll be in there for hours.
Ty, come in Ty.
This is Les, what's
the poop? Over.
Les, the
mayor's been trying
to get in touch with
you, man to man.
Well, that's quite
flattering, but uh-
Just get
your butt down here.
Ew!
Why is nothing happening?
I don't know.
I'm trying to relax.
With the SCAT scanner?
Try jiggling the handle.
Genetic bum print accepted.
Commencing poop shoot.
Whoa.
What's, oh.
Whee!
Whee!
Ow, ooh. Oh, oh, ah.
Mayor Mcwod, Zeroman
here, ever near.
Zeroman.
Rusty Woodenwater
is at it again.
What's the scamp
up to this time?
He's got his hands on
an atomic bomb is what
and he's threatening to
nuke Fair City unless-
Unless what?
What, what's wrong?
This always happens
at the good part.
Something's jamming our
signal, something big.
It would have to be
something, something very big,
bigger than a, a, a, a bread box
and, and metal like a, a bus.
Oh my stars.
It's a bum.
You mean a bomb.
No. A bum.
And it's prairie dogging.
Prairie dogging.
And poised to pitch it's
nuclear load all over Fair City.
But why?
What could Rusty
possibly hope to achieve?
Mayor's people are faxing
Rusty's demands of it right now.
Boy, they're good.
All right, aside from a bunch
of really senseless demands,
Rusty wants the mayor to return
him to his rightful place
on network TV.
No surprise there.
And-
And, and what?
Out with it lad.
And Zeroman or else.
So it's me, he wants is it?
Darn good thing our mayor elect
doesn't easily knuckle under
to such senseless demands.
And so under my
executive order,
Zeroman will be hunted
down and sacrificed
for the good of all.
And now without any
further unpleasantness,
it is my pleasure to introduce
the Rusty Woodenwater
Welcome Back Review.
Hi, and welcome to my show!
For the next 24 hours I'll
be the only thing on TV.
At the end of which I
promise to unmask Zeroman
or end the show with a bang.
An atomic bang.
Either way.
Geez, I can't
believe that mayor
is knuckling under so fast.
I can't believe
rusty is on every channel.
What happened to my soaps?
Who spins pie plates anymore?
Well, I for one,
won't just stand by
as that bitter man
child takes away
the rights of your
viewing public.
This ends now.
What are you doing?
Turning myself in
for the good of all.
Okay, but
after you're gone
and rusty has the super suit,
who will protect the
world from him then, huh?
Don't help me, I
should know this.
Look. My advice to you
is to call his bluff.
There's no way he's gonna
set off that big A bum.
Trust me, just sit tight
and try to take your mind off
Rusty for the next 24 hours.
Okay.
I'm gonna need something
stronger than this.
Hmm, I gotta
get this watch fixed.
Has it been 24 hours already?
I'm as fresh as a daisy.
You're a one man show
wrecking crew out there kid.
If I don't pull a 70
share, I will kiss my sister.
So are we all set
for the big finish?
Do we have Zeroman?
We don't have Zeroman?
The whole show
only depends on me
unmasking Zeroman on the air.
My fans are expecting it!
We're trying Rusty.
Really, we are.
Chief Helga has her men
scouring the city for him,
but he is hiding or something.
Hiding? Why is he hiding?
His Fair City is in peril.
He should be acting, not hiding.
Nothing ever works
out for me. Nothing.
He thinks that
you're bluffing.
You must draw him out, find
his weakness, and exploit it.
Wow. That sounds
wonderful there Helga.
And I have just the thing.
The strain
of inaction, too great.
I can't do nothing
any longer.
Yes you can.
I'm telling you Rusty
is bluffing, bluffing.
Uh oh, it looks like Rusty
just upped the stakes.
Sally!
Oh,
what fresh heck is this?
Sweet Sally Uberchick stuck
to the cheek of my big bum,
whatever will Zeroman do?
Will he risk
everything to save her,
or will he chicken out
and turn the other cheek,
so to speak?
Stay tuned, only time will tell.
Now, okay. That's it.
Nobody sticks Sally to the cheek
of a big shiny atomic bum
and gets away with it.
He's bluffing.
If it's Zeroman he wants-
Just a ploy to lure you in.
Its Zeroman he's gonna get.
But hey, don't listen to me.
I'm never right.
Out, out,
and away.
Oh my God.
Yeah!
Thank you, thank you so much.
Alright, Rusty.
Play time's over in
about three seconds,
I'm gonna turn you over
the bent knee of justice
and spank that
atomic bum of yours
into a sound
stinging submission.
Is that so?
Well aren't you
forgetting something?
No, I'm, I don't think so.
Turned off the stove,
fed the turtles and-
I have Sally.
Mom, I can't talk right
now I'm all tied up.
Yes, it has everything
to do with Zeroman.
No, we won't be
having children soon.
Look, I've gotta go. He's here.
It's me.
Sally, hi, hi Sally.
Doesn't she look terrific.
Yes, those big cheeks do
give her rather rutty glow.
And unless you surrender
I'll blow her up,
along with everyone else
in your precious Fair City.
Poop. Ty was right.
Ty's always right
I win!
Ow!
Ladies and gentlemen
of Fair City,
as promised for the
first and only time ever
I bring you
the unmasking of Zeroman.
Ow!
Ah!
Your glasses
Zeroman and the suit,
or the girl dies.
Never fear, Z-man has a plan.
Zero don't try anything.
Terrific!
No!
Ha, you missed me.
Nice try, Zero Hero.
What?
Look what you did, you idiot.
My atomic bum remote
control is broken.
Now even I can't stop the
countdown if I wanted to.
Yeah, But why would
you want to you're evil.
Evil yes,
but not stupid.
You mean all
this time you were-
Bluffing.
Do I look like I wanna die
in a nuclear explosion?
Do you have any idea how
destructive they are?
Hello?
Poop, Ty was right.
Ty's always right, again.
I only told you I was gonna
set it off to lure you here
so I could get my suit
back and kill you.
But now we're all gonna
die, thanks to you.
Nice going, Zeroman.
Yeah, thanks Zeroman.
Gee, I'm sorry, gang.
If there's any way I
could stop this, I would.
Well, for starters,
you could fly up there
and deactivate it.
Yeah, but it won't be easy.
You'll have to
crack the bum open
to get in it's
sensitive insights.
Child's play. Never fear,
Zeroman is here ever near.
Calm yourself Sally.
I'm here to rescue you,
whisk you to safety.
Hurry Zeroman!
Time is running out!
It's no use,
it it's so big and
cold and unreceptive.
Our only hope is to
muffle the explosion.
Look around for something
big and absorbent.
I'm I'm sorry.
I, I don't carry cash or
personal items into battle, Ty.
So I can't really afford
anything exorbitant right now.
I said absorbent.
Terrific.
Perfect. Put it on, quick.
I feel a little silly,
but thick with confidence.
Ah, no! Not on you,
put it on the bomb.
Oh, that makes
much more sense.
10.
Do you
think it'll hold?
It has
to, Sally. It has to.
9.
Sally, I have
something to tell you.
Something about you
- 8.
and
me, and Les and me.
7.
I have something
I'd like to say too, Zeroman.
About Les and me and you,
- 6.
but mostly Les.
What about you
and me and, and Les?
5.
Do you two ever talk about me?
4.
Sally! I can tell
you for a fact that
yes we do.
- 3.
Although it's usually
me doing the talking.
- 2.
- Oh, well,
could you get a
message to Les for me?
- If you have a
- 1.
message for him, I'll
make sure he gets it.
Initiation.
Aww.
Well,
Rusty said he was gonna
bring the house down.
Rusty? Where are you?
Rusty!
It's no use, chief.
He's gone.
Wait, come back.
You're my ride.
Oh no, those poor evil guys.
Do you think they're, you know?
Positive homo sapiens?
No!
Dead?
Yes!
No Sally, not dead, just gone.
Having slipped away to
do evil another day.
It's their way.
Okay, it's safe to
come out now, they're gone.
And so is my secret lair.
Ah, don't be such a whiner.
Some dry wall a little pink,
and this place to be
as good as new kid.
Well, I don't know
how secret it'll be,
or was, I mean
everybody knew about it.
Well, what was I
supposed to call it?
My public lair?
Anything but secret.
This stalwart
post will serve us well.
Until we rise from the ashes
and become the scourge
of Fair City once more.
And bring Zeroman to his knees.
For I am spite, I am evil.
I am Rusty Woodenwater.
My nuts.