ZIWE (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Celebrity Rights Activist - full transcript

Like Martin
Luther King Jr, I, too,

have been sentenced to prison
for trying to uplift humanity,

only my prison isn't a
jail cell in Birmingham,

my prison is fame.

[camera flashing]

Don't let the glamour
fool you; I am a statistic,

just another victim of the
Instagram-to-Celebrity Pipeline.

Less than one percent of
Americans are celebrities,

yet celebrities account for
100 percent of famous people?

You do the math.

As a celebrity, my privacy's
constantly being violated!



Leave me alone!

Please!

Sure, there are perks of
being a celebrity... free meals,

free clothes,
freebies, but not freedom.

But that all changes tonight.

What rights do we afford
the rich and the famous?

[woman] Kylie, wait!

[Ziwe VO] In the
grand scheme of things,

are celebrities too important,
or not important enough?

[man] Woo-hoo!

[Ziwe VO] If fame is a prison,
is People Magazine the warden?

We'll find out tonight in an
episode I'm calling "Celebrity

Rights Activist."

I'll be joined by
two iconic guests.



We'll discuss the celebrity
surveillance state with the

anonymous force behind
celebrity gossip site Deuxmoi.

[Deuxmoi VO] My
followers aren't stalkers.

[Ziwe VO] And shameless-plug a
celebrity fitness program in an

interview with the
famous actor, rapper,

and son, Chet Hanks.

Yeah!

[grunts aggressively]

Remember, this is
a serious issue.

If you or someone you
know is a celebrity,

don't suffer alone.

Call my number on
the screen below,

and we'll gab about it together.

Until then, I'll be
here, doing the work,

raising awareness
for celebrity rights.

'Ziwe' starts now.

Cool theme music

My celebrity guest is known
throughout the world for his

body, his mind, his
voice, and his parents.

Please welcome the
iconic Chet Hanks!

[claps]

[chuckles]

You guys aren't gonna clap?

[crew chuckle]

[Chet] [chuckles]
What's up, Ziwe?

Hi, Chet,
how are you doing?

I'm great,
how are you?

Chet, what accent will you be
conducting this interview in?

Uh, I don't
know, I might throw,

like, a cockney one in there.

What's your
cockney like?

[cockney accent]
Oi, how ya doin, ' love?

[cockney accent]
Yeah, fancy a tea?

Yes, feel free
to drink water.

This is a deception; This isn't
coffee or tea, it's just water.

It's water!
What do you want?!

- You want tea?!
- Yeah.

[Ziwe] What kind
of tea you want?

Uh, green tea with honey?

Can we get Chet
Hanks some green tea?

- Thank them!
- I don't know who to look at.

Say "Thank you" to the Black
woman who's offering you tea.

Thank you.

- Wow, that's beautiful.
- [chuckles]

In your own words, why
are you a famous person?

Uh, probably just 'cause I'm
the son of a famous person.

[Ziwe] Mm.
Do you like being famous?

I don't really
consider myself famous.

[Ziwe] Mm.

You claimed that your parents
never gave you an allowance.

How else did you have
a deprived childhood?

My first car was a PT Cruiser.

- Wow.
- Yeah, it was just humiliating.

What was so
humiliating about it?

It was a PT Cruiser.

Sad music

Would you say that
you have to work,

like, twice as hard
to be taken seriously?

Yeah.

Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Mm.

[Ziwe VO] Next on 'Ziwe.'..

- When is your birthday?
- August 4th.

- Leo!
- [Chet] Yeah.

- Leo.
- [Chet] Yeah.

- That tracks.
- [chuckling] Yeah.

Exciting music

So you introduced the world to
your Jamaican accent on the red

carpet of the
2019 Golden Globes.

[Jamaican accent] Big up!

Big up, the whole
island massive.

It's ya boy, Chetana, coming
straight from da Golden Globes,

you know what I'm sayin'?

Do you feel like you inspired
a generation of boys... white

boys, particularly...
To speak in patois?

I don't know.

- No.
- [Chet] I don't know.

I think I did kinda make
the patois accent more,

like... a little
more... trending, I guess?

I think I was, like...

I mean, like, aside from, like,
Jamaican culture itself and

Caribbean culture itself,
which is obviously very,

you know, vibrant, I was,
like, the first person to,

like, kinda, like, get
it in the conversation?

Like, for just recent times.

Can I say some
patois words to you?

Tell me what you think.
"Small up yuhself."

Huh?

You know what
"Small up yuhself" means?

- In patois?
- Uh...

- "smile" or "small?"
- "Small up yuhself!"

- "Small up..."
- Do you even speak patois?!

- I mean, not really.
- Not really?

I was, like, the
first person to,

like, kinda, like, get
it in the conversation?

I just know a couple things.

Couple two, tree things.

Tings!
You know what I mean? [Laughs]

[Jamaican accent]
Couple two, tree tings.

Bombaclat!

[laughs]

What does that mean to you?

[sigh] You can't
really put it in words.

Well, it's literally words.

It's beyond sp...
It's like the Dow;

It's beyond words,
you can't put it in...

[Ziwe] "Bombaclat"
is beyond words?

It can't be contained.

Wow!
Wow!

It's bigger than that.

[Ziwe] It's
bigger than that.

Are there any marginalized
communities you wanna apologize

to?

I don't know, maybe
the patois community?

Sad string music

Nah.

Uh, I don't feel like I've truly
done anything offensive so...

You don't see it as
cultural appropriation,

you see it as, like, a
celebration of culture.

Mm-hm.

And then, it's like
social just warriors can,

like, go kick rocks.

Yeah.

[softly] Yeah.

Yeah.

No comment, got it.

No, I mean, I
100 percent agree.

Social justice
warriors can kick rocks.

- [chuckles]
- [Ziwe] We have tea for you.

- [Chet] Oh, thank you.
- This is Richard.

[Chet] Thanks, man.

[Ziwe] Is this, like,
what your life is like?

- [laughing] I wish.
- You say, "Tea!"

- And someone just...
- I wish!

- What the [beep] is this?!
- [chuckles]

Let's talk about
"White Boy Summer."

You anointed the summer of
2021 as "White Boy Summer."

Hot boy, white boy summer

Got your favorite Instagram
bitch DMing her number

Can you tell us how that's
different from the past 400

summers in American history?

[chuckles]

[sighs] I guess
not, I don't know.

It started just with me...
I got a fresh-ass haircut,

and I was feelin' myself, so I
posted a video on my Instagram.

Just got this feeling, man...

um, that this summer is, uh...

it's about to be
a White Boy Summer.

Do all of your songs
come to you from just,

like, your super-iconic quotes?

[chuckles]

Maybe.

Wow.

Trying to make me nervous?
[chuckles]

N... are you nervous?

No, but did you just say that
'cause you're trying to make me.

Do I make you nervous?

- Mmm... nah.
- Are you afraid of Black women.

- No.
- Maybe you should be.

Mm!
Maybe.

Dramatic music

Okay, can I read some
lyrics to you from your song and

tell me what you think about it.

Okay.

You wrote, "I
ain't even a Crip,

but they wanna see, C-H-E-T..."

- [chuckles]
- "Yeah, [beep], that's me."

- Uh-huh.
- What does that mean?!

Uh, I don't know, my name
starts with a C... H-E-T,

so, like, they wanna see me.

I like the letter C a lot,
'cause my name starts with it.

What are your
other favorite letters?

Um...
[sighs]

Just C.

Taylor
Swift has Swifties,

Beyonce has Beyhive.
What are Chet Hanks fans called?

That's a
good question.

Um...

- "Cheddars?"
- "Cheddars?"

- [Chet] [laughs]
- "Cheddars?!"

- Yeah, maybe.
- Hey, we can make that stick.

#Cheddars!

Bomba.
[chuckles]

Raasclaat.
[chuckles]

So you have "Hot Girl
Summer," "White Boy Summer."..

"Black and Yellow,"
"White and Purple."

[Chet] "White
and Purple."

It seems like you're taking a
lot of hot shit and just putting

the word "white" in it.

- [laughs]
- [Ziwe] True or false?

- True or false?!
- Damn, I mean...

[sighs]
That wasn't my intention.

[both laugh]

Just a big oopsies?

Yeah, I mean, white's
not even my favorite color,

black's my favorite color.

- Oh, I know that.
- Yeah.

You know, hey, now.

[Ziwe VO] Next on 'Ziwe.'..

Um... Uh...

Uh...

Um...

Bing... bong.

[laughs]

Jaunty music

smooth lounge music

[ding]

[ding]

[ding]

[ding]

Jaunty music

exciting strings

What are your three favorite
things about white culture?

- Um, football...
- [Ziwe] Football.

- Baseball...
- [Ziwe] Baseball.

[Chet] Um...
We invented the cheeseburger.

Cheeseburgers are
non-denominational.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Much like you.

Yeah, I wish Americans
could understand that we're all

Americans, no matter
what race you are.

Like, we all have
the same culture.

We're American culture.

I feel like you're much
like Martin Luther King...

In that you just wanna
see everyone come together.

- I do.
- Every color, every creed.

- Yeah, I do.
- Martin Luther King...

would you ever write a song?

[laughs] Um...

I probably could.

Do it.

Um, okay.

Smooth hip-hop beat

[rapping]
Martin Luther King

Respect to the King

He just wanted everybody to
get along and do our thing

You know what I mean?

Bing... bong

[laughs]

What does "Black
Girl Magic" mean to you?

[sighs]

I mean, you're a
shining example of it.

You think I'm Black Girl Magic?

- For sure.
- [Ziwe] What does that mean?

A certain
quality and confidence,

and, you know, just beauty.

- You got nice lips.
- Oh, God!

[crew laughter]

- Ay yai yai...
- [Chet] [laughs]

[sighs dramatically] To be
a woman in entertainment.

Oh, sorry, I don't
mean that disrespectfully.

- Oh, just respectfully?
- Yeah.

Got it.

No, I don't... I don't
mean that disrespectfully.

- No, you mean it respectfully.
- Yeah.

- [Ziwe] Got it.
- Yeah.

Sure, you can hit on me if only
because it'll make this go more

viral.

Can you freestyle
a love song to me?

Uh, yeah.

Should I sing it?

Sing rap.
Give me Drake vibes.

Oh, okay.

Ooh, Ziwe

Mmm, should we
have a three-way?

No!

I'm just kidding, that's the
only thing I could think of that

rhymes with "Ziwe."

Oh my gosh!

- Sorry, I'm on the spot here.
- [Ziwe] [scoffs]

You know, it's not planned.
Off the cuff!

Off... the... cuff!

Bok!
[laughs]

Yeah.
[chuckles]

What percentage of
your brand is rapping?

Uh...

I'd say about, uh...

- 69 percent.
- 69 percent?

[Chet] Yeah.

[crew laughter]

Don't
encourage him!

[laughs]

Ay yai yai...

How would you describe
the Chet Hanks brand?

- Elite! [Chuckles]
- "Elite?"

[Jamaican accent] Original!
[chuckles]

Just be original.

That's my message:
Just be original.

This is about celebrity
rights activism, right?

- Yeah.
- What are you here to promote?

Hanx Fit, my fitness program.

Why don't you say to your
camera "Stay tuned for more Hanx

Fit after the break?"

Stay tuned for more
Hanx Fit after the break!

Bok!
[chuckles]

Jaunty music

Fame is a prison, and
I have a life sentence.

I mean, I hope so, anyway.

Jaunty music

[Ziwe VO] Some bigots think
that famous people are more

important than normals,
but I don't see it that way.

Our struggles are
separate but equal,

and to prove my point,
I've found the most regular,

average, normal, run-of-the-mill
broad to sing a duet with me.

Ready, Jo?

[meekly] Yeah, I... I
don't have a microphone.

"Famous
and Normal" by Ziwe

- No.
- Oh...

Sing along!

- [meekly] Okay.
- No!

- Uh...
- Ugh!

But who better to speak up
for a struggling normal than

a famous person?
I'll sing.

[Jo] Fucking disgusting.

[Ziwe] Wow, sister, sister!

We have so much in
common, we're like twins.

[gasps]
Ahh!

See you in the VIP.

Or I guess for you, it's just...

P.

The Pope?!
Holy Father!

Jaunty music

[Ziwe VO] As a
celebrity rights activist,

I look to the rich and famous
to shape my body in their image.

In recent years, many famous
people have come forward as

fitness experts, a claim which I
will not challenge or question.

One such celebrity reached out
to promote their fitness app,

and I did not say no.

So who will help me get swole?

If you join my program, I
will give you your own custom

macro plan.

[Ziwe VO] None other
than Colin Hanks' brother,

Chet Hanks.

That's right, more Chet Hanks.

What inspired you to
do this fitness app?

Because this... I mean, this
is such an iconic design.

[chuckles]
Thanks.

Aggressive EDM

It was just me personally.

I was already
doing it on my own,

so I thought I'd just create a
platform where I could share the

knowledge I have
with other people.

As a celebrity rights
activist, I'm excited about you.

- [Chet] Thank you for that.
- [Ziwe] Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I mean, I actually
don't recognize you

with your shirt on.

Aggressive EDM

[Ziwe VO] I couldn't
wait to get started,

but first, Chet gave me one
of his famous consultations.

I'm a Black woman; How
can you make my life better?

Well, tell me about yourself.

I went to college with
a man named Chet Hanks.

[chuckles]
Nice.

I eat fruit and
I eat vegetables.

- [softly] Nice.
- I love... "Nice?"

Are you just gonna keep... is
that what you do during the

consultation?!

[laughing] No, no, no.
Strike that. [Laughs]

[snorts]
Should I continue?

You just snorted!
[laughs]

[Ziwe] Yeah,
'cause this is wild!

- I'm not ashamed to snort.
- Okay, cool.

[snorts] I'm
right there with you.

[crew laughter]

[snorts] Yeah.

They [beep] love
you back there.

Yeah!

[grunts aggressively]

- I'm looking to get dumb thicc.
- Is that it?

I mean, I'd like to
end systemic racism.

[sighs] Let's
work on it together.

[Obama VO] Yes, we can!
To opportunity.

Aggressive EDM

[Ziwe VO] I wanted Chet
to tell me what I should eat,

so I put out his favorite
foods from his homeland.

There's a strict
diet plan that you have,

so what are we
allowed to consume?

You really can't
eat any of this.

You could
eat the apple.

- No, clearly...
- [exhales forcefully]

That's how I clean my fruit.

[exhales forcefully]

I've learned
absolutely nothing from this.

No, that's why you have
to sign up for my program.

Don't talk with
your mouth full!

- My bad!
- Strike this!

What?!

[grunts aggressively]

I can't believe you're doing
this entire interview while

eating an apple.

Keeping the doctor away.

[Ziwe VO] Stay tuned
for more Chet Hanks.

Yes, more Chet Hanks.

I feel like I'm in
a manic episode!

[laughs]

No!

Jaunty music

cool hip-hop beat

[ding]

[ding]

Aggressive EDM

[Ziwe] Hit it.
[groans]

- One...
- Oh, God!

Two..
Three...

four...

- 13...
- [groans]

- 16...
- [groans]

- 18...
- [groans]

19...
Did you do 'em all?

Yeah, you saw me!

[both] One...

two...

Nine...

10.

Woohoo!

Ugh, exhausted.
This sucks.

What about preaching
self-love and being comfortable

with your body.

You can be
comfortable with your body,

but are you
comfortable with being lazy?

Wow.

That feels like a
racial stereotype.

- What are you saying?
- No, no, no.

- [Ziwe] Oh, I'm lazy?
- No, for anybody.

No, like people can be
comfortable with their bodies,

but, like, okay, cool, are you
comfortable with being lazy?

You just
repeated your question.

Repetition is the
father of learning!

- That's another quote.
- Cool, who said that?

Lil Wayne.

Aggressive EDM

Do you feel like you're
unpacking all the things you

needed to unpack?

- Yeah.
- This is our reunion.

Yeah, like I've just
got home from a trip.

- You know?
- What tr... a trip from where?

[chuckles]
I'm unpacking.

Miming is also a
big passion of mine.

Whimsical French music

You know?
[laughs]

I'm in a box!
You know what I mean?

[laughs]

Walking
through the door...

of institutionalized power.

Whoa...
[chuckles]

I was in a phone booth.

Aggressive EDM

[Ziwe VO] Chet promised
something called "elite

mindset," which seems kind
of culty, but I was willing to

give him the benefit of the
doubt because he's famous.

I do affirmations.

What's your, like,
favorite affirmation?

I'll literally be like...

"I have a beautiful life..."

Yeah, you do.

"I am a
beautiful Black woman..."

Yes, you are.

"I have everything
that I've ever wanted..."

Yes, you do.

If I were you, I'd be like,
"I have a beautiful life...

I'm a
strong white man..."

- [chuckles]
- "There are no rules...

I live my life to the
fullest because I can

and society agrees."

- I just say "I am."
- "I am?"

Do you know what God said
His name is in the Bible?

[Ziwe] What
did He say?

He said, "My name is 'I am
that I am, '" Exodus 3:14.

Bok!

Aggressive EDM

You wanna meditate?

Criss-cross
apple sauce.

Pepperoni pizza.

You know?
[chuckles]

No...

We used to say that
when I was a little kid.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

What else did they say
when you were a little kid?

Uh, "Don't do that!"
[laughs]

I feel like I'm
in a manic episode!

[laughs]
"No!"

You know that you get
deeper rest during 15 minutes of

meditation than you do
in two hours of sleep?

- I don't believe that's true.
- It's true.

Zen music

Right now, all of us are just
creatures walking around a giant

sphere that's
floating in nothing.

I'm sitting on a
spherical object,

and you know what's crazy?

We all are, 'cause
we're on the Earth.

We get so caught up in,
like, our mundane lives,

so we forget we're just
creatures walking around a giant

sphere floating in nothing...

that's lit up by another...

giant... sphere of fire.

That's deep.

Bok!
Bok bok!

Aggressive EDM

[Ziwe VO] I was curious
what other projects this

multi-hyphenate was working on.

Do you wanna promote
any music, by the way?

Oh, yeah, I'm about to
drop some country music.

Are you really?!

Yeah, I'm not
putting out rap anymore,

I'm doing country music.

[singing] In the morning
you'll be gone for good...

Okay.

Yeah, you're all packed up
and leaving Hollywood...

Wow!

In a town where
life happens so fast

I should a known that
this would never last...

Wow.

Would never last

Dum-dum-dum dum

Dum-dum-dum-dum

If you're wondering,
I'll be just fine

Yeah, I know a little dark
bar on the edge of Vine

humming

Honey, I know that
it takes some time

Dun-dun-dun

But you had yours

So I'll have mine

Is your country music pivot
like when most musicians do rap,

and then, they're like,
"I'm not Black anymore,"

and then they do country?

I don't really have any
plans, you know what I mean?

- I'm like the Joker.
- [Ziwe] You're like the Joker?

[Joker impression] Do I
look like a guy with a plan?

[laughs]

[crew laughter]

Yeah.

[Joke impression] I'm
like a dog chasing cars;

I wouldn't know what to
do with it if I got it!

[laughs]

[crew laughter]

[Joker impression]
Batman, you complete me.

[laughs]

[Joker impression] My
father was a drinker...

and a fiend!
[laughs]

Yeah.

RIP Heath.

GOAT.

[Joker impression] They
tried to kill my wife!

[laughs]

[crew laughter]

Denzel!

Don't impersonate Black men.

Shout out to John
David Washington.

Do you ever feel
like you're desecrating,

like, Black people when
you do [beep] like that?

Not at all.

Not at all; You feel like it's
an honor... you're honoring them.

No, I don't feel
like I'm doing anything.

I feel like I'm just
doing an impression.

Just being
Chester Marlon Hanks.

[Southern accent]
Live in the flesh.

[laughing] Yeah.

Yeah.

I think of us as like
the two roads diverged.

The idea that we were in
college at the same time...

Like that poem?

[Ziwe] And then we're
meeting again right now...

- Like that poem?
- Yeah, that's Robert Frost.

Yeah.
"The Road Less Traveled."

- Yes.
- Walt Whitman. [Chuckles]

- [Ziwe] No, that's not Walt.
- Okay.

Aggressive EDM

jaunty music

Celebrity: Cool,
Elegant, Lovable,

Elegant, Beautiful,
Righteous, Intelligent,

Thank, You.

Jaunty music

[man VO] Stardom is confusing.

People seem to suddenly
get famous for a dance,

a song, a wrongdoing, or
sometimes for apparently no

reason at all.

The Internet has a way of
making things seem inexplicable.

To makes sense of it all, let's
take a look back for A Brief

History of Celebrity.

Before the Internet, the biggest
celebrity was someone named

Mahatma Gandhi.

She was famous for
being skinny, quotable,

and always wearing
a signature gown.

Have you ever heard someone
say "Diamonds are a girl's best

friend?"
Well, Gandhi said that first.

But what about before quotes?

In prehistoric
times before language,

balayage beach curls,
and exclusive interviews,

humans were venerated for other
qualities that set us apart.

Lucy, the oldest
woman ever discovered,

was actually famous in her
time for being the first girl to

think about getting bangs!

But then, she switched gears and
decided that it would be better

for her career if she just
died for three million years.

Before bangs,
there were dinosaurs,

the most famous of
which was the T-Rex,

because she walked
on her tippy-toes,

which was the
genesis of high heels...

and, of course,
Christian Louboutin's work.

Which brings me to that
delectable medley even more

iconic than Andy
Warhol's Campbell's cans.

I am, of course, talking
about the primordial soup,

that minestrone of methane
that gave birth to the first

single-celled
organism, who wasn't famous...

until she split.

Then, there were two of her, one
to notice and one to be noticed,

and for a brief moment in time,
being known was as likely as

knowing.

Everyone was a
celebrity and a fan,

because everyone was you.

Thus, vanity as born, and those
primeval single-celled Tia and

Tamaras continued to clone
themselves until they figured

out how to walk on land
and make Botox affordable.

"Those who do not learn their
history are doomed to repeat

it."

These lyrics by Jennifer
Lopez ring true to this days,

because if we don't learn, then
as the attention economy excels,

the future will be
government-mandated celebrity,

wherein every day, our overlords
will upload five profiles of

randomized citizens into
the universal brain cloud.

The profiles will contain
unauthorized photography of its

subjects, lists of their
greatest accomplishments,

and one horribly
demoralizing scandal.

We will all worship, envy,
and hate each other equally,

and devolve into
attention cannibals!

I hope you enjoyed
this educational segment,

and always keep in mind the
immortal words of Gandhi...

"I don't know her."

Thanks!

Jaunty music

[Ziwe VO] The American public
has always been fascinated with

celebrity gossip.

One Instagram
has reinvented the wheel,

posting celebrity sightings
from anonymous tipsters.

That account: Deuxmoi.

As of this interview, Deuxmoi
has amassed over 1.4 million

Instagram followers, yet their
identity remains a mystery.

Please welcome
iconic guest Deuxmoi.

She's correct.

Thank you so much for
taking the time to chat with me!

In your own words,
what exactly is Deuxmoi?

Do celebrities have rights?
Do they deserve rights?

But why do you have
the right to privacy that

celebrities don't?

You know, I'm actually
jealous of you being anonymous,

so from this point
further in the interview,

I'm going to...

Um, what race are you?
If you don't mind me asking.

Got it.

So I notice that you post a
lot about the nicest celebs.

Nicest celebs are Harry
Styles, Drew Barrymore,

Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian.

So are there any
nice Black celebrities?

Black celebrities
like Don Cheadle,

for example... should they feel
relieved or marginalized that

they're not being
surveilled by, like,

the anonymous audience as much?

[Ziwe] Got it.

Um, how do you
characterize A-list,

B-list, C-list, D-list?

But our parents are different.

My parents are
Nigerian immigrants;

They don't know who I am!

They don't even know I'm famous!

What list am I on?

Ouch.

No, it's cool, the
"B" stands for "Black."

Who has the weakest
dick game in Hollywood?

That's what I wanna know.
That's the D-list I wanna know.

You don't wanna say?
But you post!

Should you have a
responsibility to the truth?

Or is that just
for, like, Spider-Man?

But in some ways, is this
sort of like crowdsourcing

surveillance?

What's your favorite
George Orwell book?

With Britney Spears
and the conservatorship,

we sort of are re-evaluating how
we documented those women in the

early-aughts.

10 years from now,
how do you think that people

will assess the
phenomenon of Deuxmoi?

What's your screen time?

Got it.
You know, this makes sense.

It's like Muhammad Ali;
Like, he's just a boxer,

but when you take a
step back, it's like,

"Oh my God, he's a
Civil Rights icon.

How many Black
friends do you have?

What are you talking about?

Wait, you're... wait, wait.

Wait.
Wait, wait.

What do you mean?!

Yes, we are friends.
I'm your one Black friend.

Speaking of honesty, what's
your social security number?

I'm not convinced that you're
not artificial intelligence.

Thank you, Deuxmoi.
You've been an iconic guest.

Jaunty music

"Famous and Normal" beat

- Wassup, Ziwe?
- Hi, Chet.

We just did a
dope-ass interview.

I'm excited.

Yes.

[both laugh]

[Chet in phone
video] Wassup, Ziwe?

[Ziwe in phone video] Hi, Chet.

[Chet in phone video] We
just did a dope-ass interview.

I'm excited.

[Ziwe in phone video] Yes.

[laughs]

Iconic!

- Wassup, Ziwe?
- Hi, Chet.

We just did a
dope-ass interview.

I'm excited.

Yes.

[both laugh]

[Chet VO] Bing... bong.