Younger (2015–…): Season 5, Episode 6 - Sex, Liza and Rock & Roll - full transcript

♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, yeah ♪

Liza!
Liza, come here, quick!

What's wrong?
What is it?

The curators for the
Whitney Biennial just called!

- I've been chosen for their next show!
- Oh, my God!

It's like the Super Bowl
of the art world.

- It finally happened!
- Oh! Whoohoo!

They're gonna announce it
tonight at a cocktail party.

Is it too early
for champagne?

Mimosas are breakfast-y.

Let's just hold the OJ.



- Yeah!
- Yes!

Whoo! Okay.

*Younger*
Season 05 Episode 06

*Younger*
Episode Title: "Sex, Liza and Rock & Roll"

"ARTnews" is reporting that

Maggie Amato
is a last-minute edition

to the Whitney Biennial.

- Isn't she your roommate?
- Yes.

There's a cocktail party
tonight.

I know, Liza.
I'm a Fellow.

I'd bring you,
but I have a date.

- Enzo?
- Yes.

I'm bringing a blue collar
companion to a black tie event.

Well, at least I'll finally
meet this Maggie.



Finally. Yay.

Morning, Diana.
Liza.

Coffee, anyone?

Um, table any marketing plans

for Chrissie Hart's memoir.

We still don't have pages.

The Chrissie Hart?

I loved her music.

The, uh, pitch
was so extraordinary.

Maybe we got blinded
by the bidding war.

I mean, since Chrissie
missed her delivery date,

we could claim breach
of contract and walk away.

A rock and roll tell-all
from Chrissie Hart?

This could be the next
"Just Kids."

I... I don't want to lose
this book.

Let's... let's set up
a Skype call.

"Let's" means you.

Yes.

We need to see pages,
Chrissie.

What stage are you at?

It's written. See?

Whole thing.

I swear to God, I just, like,

punctured the skin,

and it came oozing out of me.

Well, can you...

sop it up
and email it?

Wh... what, on the internet?

What, are you high?

I'm not sending this
on the internet.

I don't trust the internet.

Those naked pictures of me,

those were leaked.

Nothing is safe.

Julian Assange told me that.

I mean, he was out of his mind
at the time,

but he made
some pretty solid arguments.

We could send a messenger?

Yeah, now you're talking,
man.

Why don't you send Charles?

Charles, huh?

I would like to hand my baby,

my book, to the man
I made the deal with.

Of course.

I'll come up
to Shelter Island today.

All right.

See you in a bit.

Charles, I will
cancel my plans,

brave the deer ticks,
and accompany you.

I know a very quaint
bed and breakfast.

We can bike
to Chrissie's house.

I can handle it,
but, uh...

this book better be good.

Thoughts on Jake's
first chapter?

You first.

How can Obama's
speech writer,

with the skills
to evoke passion and pride,

write this snooze fest?

- It definitely needs work.
- Work?

If the rest of his book
reads like this,

we're screwed.

All right,
let's get him on the phone.

Okay, you're too fired up.

I will email him notes.

He's been to Afghanistan.
He can handle a call.

Hey, I was just thinking
about you.

I just checked into the hotel.

Jake, um,
it's Kelsey and Zane,

your editors.
Uh, oh, hey.

Sorry, I thought
this was somebody else.

What... um, what's up?

We're calling
to discuss your chapter.

It's... it's a solid start,
and we both...

You're a busy man,
so let's cut to the chase.

It needs more energy.

Humor, scandal.
All right?

We're competing with Russian
hookers and golden showers.

Uh... okay.

Uh, Kelsey, what do you think?

I... I think Zane's right.

It could benefit from some
insightful observations

paired with cherry-picked
anecdotes

about your time spent
in the White House.

Wh... what we're saying is,

goose this shit up.

Right now, it's meek
and kind of bland.

I don't really like
your tone, Zane.

I don't like your chapter.

Jake, we're gonna
call you back.

You realize
you're not getting paid

to lose authors here, right?

I'm playing bad cop,
all right?

You're too easy on him.

Let me carry the ball here.

Trust me.
I know how to handle him.

You better, okay?

This book
is all I have right now.

Then let me do my job.

Hello?

Chrissie?

Oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

That's good. No, no, no.
Not too much.

Dude.
Dude, dude, dude, dude.

That was so intense.

I mean, oh, my God.

Hey, man.
How you doing?

Hi.

Thank you for the, uh,
the invitation.

Oh, yeah.
My pleasure, man.

- Thanks for coming out.
- Yeah.

So I would love
to return to the city

- with the book tonight, so...
- Wait, can I...

Before we talk business,

I need your honest opinion
about something,

because my people
are never straight with me.

Um, sure.

I want you to taste
my booch.

I'm sorry. Your what?
Your boo...

Mirna!

What did I say?

When the guests appear,

freshly brewed
Kombucha tea.

Check it out.

Thank you.

What do you think?

Strong.

All right, dude. Hit me.

Ten more hertz.
Ease me into it.

Oh, God. Ahh-rah!

This is next-level, Mags.

You have officially arrived.

I am so proud of you.

Hey... what?

I don't know, I...

I guess I just stopped dreaming
about this, you know?

It's always been
someone else's turn,

and now it's finally mine.

It doesn't feel real.

It's real,
and you deserve it.

Oh, thank you.

Aww, get in on it.

Love you guys.

And you, Liza,

you bought my first piece,
you and David.

Back when
he had some money.

God, he hated it.

But it just made me
love it more.

Liza!

Who is that woman
screeching at you?

Uh, that's Diana.

Oh, that's Diana.

Now I finally get it.

Excuse me.

Check these.

Oh, so you are going
to Shelter Island.

No. Staten Island.

Enzo has invited me
to stay over.

I haven't "stayed over"
a man's place since...

When did Baby Jessica
fall down that well?

Yikes! What did you pack?

Just the essentials.

Toothbrush, change of clothes,

room spray, sheets.

Well, are you staying over
or redecorating?

Liza, I don't know
what to expect.

I need to prepare
for polyester,

but it is worth the risk.

The man may be a plumber,

but he sure can...
plumb my depths.

You know what I mean when I...
I understand.

Shh. Here he comes.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Oh, ain't she something?

She sure is.

The coat check
is over there.

A certain...

British director
gave me this.

That's not all he gave me.

Gonorrhea.

Saves you from asking.

I, uh...
I wasn't going to.

Um, so the book is...

Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Check this out.

Check this out.

19th century

Zulu warrior.

Wow.

I'm kidding.
It's Joey Ramone.

It's Joey Ramone.
Ehh! Joey!

- Right. Um...
- Looking good!

So the... so the book
is, in fact, here?

Have you ever seen

a $10,000 dildo?

Come on.

Hmm?

What I really want to see

is... the book.

Now, Chrissie.

It's from the pharaohs.

You really hated
the chapter, huh?

Not at all.

Listen, your voice
on the podcast

is... is charming

and funny and...

it makes me laugh
about politics.

Okay?

I want readers to...

get that same feeling
that I got

the first time I heard it.

Can we take a recess?

I find it very hard to focus

with a bed five feet away.

And that is why
I suggested

that we work
in the business center.

Okay.

Before we go, I just...
I have to ask.

Is... besides the book,

is there, you know, somebody
else stopping us from...

No.

But this book
is very important, Jake.

And when it's all done,

we can talk about you and me.

Okay, good.

Because ever since we met, I...

have been very attracted
to you, Kelsey.

You're intelligent,
and you are ambitious,

- and you are gorgeous...
- And we're packing,

and we're moving.

Maggie Amato.
Diana Trout.

I have heard so much about you.

Likewise.

That is a stunning necklace.

You know, Liza never told me
how chic you are.

Oh, I'm sure I did.

Well, Liza's generation

has no concept of style.

It's all rompers
and fanny packs.

- Yeah.
- Sorry to interrupt,

but we just had to say hello.

We are avid fans, Maggie.

Penelope, Luca,
that means the world to me.

Thank you so much.

We want a piece.

Please...

call us.
I will. Thanks.

Well, if you'll excuse me,
I have to go

soak up some more champagne

and praise.

Oh, Charles texted.

"Still no book.
Chrissie's stonewalling me.

Have to stay the night."

He is too important to be held
hostage by that maniac.

Well, my bag is packed.

I do love that inn.

Diana, stay at Enzo's.

Like you said,

he's worth the risk.

And what about Charles?

I'll go.

Ah, I know why
you want to go.

You do?

To hound Chrissie
for an autograph.

Well, don't, Liza.
Be professional.

Busted.

You know me too well.

This is my place.

"Casa mia."

It's been in the family
for a couple of generations.

It's so clean... spacious.

That's island living, baby.

You should see
the master bedroom.

I intend to.

Hello?

Wow.

Hello?

Liza?

What are you doing here?

Uh, Diana said
you were having problems

and asked me to come help.

Plus, I'm a huge
Chrissie Hart fangirl.

I know all of her songs.

♪ I'm howlin' at the moon ♪

♪ I'm running back to you ♪

♪ Crazy love ♪

♪ Buh-buh, da-da-da-da,
da-da... ♪

Did your babysitter
teach you those lyrics?

And... who the hell is this?

Chrissie.

This is Liza Miller,

one of our finest editors.

Uh-huh.

I'll leave you
to, uh...

get acquainted.

Wow.

Um, Chrissie,
I am suck a huge fan.

I hope you're not here
to cock-block,

'cause I plan to bang
his brains out tonight.

Great.

Wait, Jake was
Michelle Obama's lookout

while she hurled
at Beyoncé's birthday party?

Yes!
It's insane, right?

Wait.

I think we could switch
these around, though.

- Agreed.
- Mm.

Don't need this or this.

Totally, but overall...

so far, the chapter
reads much better.

So much better.

How did you get him
to open up so much?

I'm a very skilled editor.

Oh, my God.

This guy took his grandma
to the inauguration.

He is such a wet blanket.

No, he's not.

He's nice.

Exactly. "Nice."

That is code for dull.

Look, I see the way
he looks at you.

Poor guy.

If only he knew.

Knew what?

That you're not into "nice."

What am I into, Zane?

Please, enlighten me,

since you know me so well.

You want someone

who isn't intimidated
by your intelligence...

You're not wrong.

Someone who challenges you,

but also makes you happy...

sometimes,
twice in one night.

Mm.

So someone like you.

Stop toying
with my emotions.

You have those?

♪ I could go away ♪

This is a demo

from "Penis Flytrap."

What do you think?
You like it?

Love it!

Yeah, well, I was asking
Charles.

Oh, I love it. Great.

Strong.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, I love it.

Don't leave me alone with her.

Oh, now you want me here?

What are you guys
whispering about, huh?

Oh, uh,
we were just wondering

when we're gonna
get to see the book!

You, um...

You said lunchtime,
which was wine,

and then you said teatime,
which was absinth

and your take on
"Stranger Things."

Yeah. Mirna!

Bookie-bookie time!

Ask, and you shall receive.

Okay.

Le book.

Okay, not so fast.
Let me just say something.

When I was recording
"Lady Pie,"

Ahmet Ertegun, he came here
to get the master,

and he did not leave
for three weeks

because I wasn't ready.

I gotta be good and ready

before you take my baby
away from me,

and right now, I'm just feeling
kind of ready.

Okay.

I'm gonna create a diversion,

and then you grab the book,

and then we'll run.

Are you crazy?

We are too drunk to read it,
let alone drive.

All right.

I saw on an episode
of "Murder She Wrote"

that if you eat
a stick of butter

before you start drinking,
then you don't get drunk.

How old are you?

Get this out of my sight!

Get this away.

- No, no, no, no.
- Lock it up.

No...

Could I check... I...

Distracting.

♪ Where did you go and stay... ♪

♪ Why did you go ♪

♪ Why did you go ♪

♪ What did you know ♪

♪ Why did you go ♪

It was, uh,
nice to see you laugh.

Huh.

Well, hopefully,
there'll be, uh,

fewer antics tomorrow
and we'll, uh,

and we'll get the book.

Good night.

When are you gonna
trust me again?

I don't want to do this
right now, Liza.

Just talk to me.
Please, Charles.

Just...
Yell, I-i-i-if that will help.

The silence...

is just... I just don't know
how much more I can take.

If you're trying to punish me,

it's working.

Night, Liza.

Good night.

♪ And my tears
won't fall for you ♪

♪ Like I did ♪

♪ And my hands
are cut and bruised ♪

♪ I didn't build this wall
for two ♪

♪ And my tears
won't fall for you ♪

♪ Like I did ♪

♪ And my hands
are cut and bruised ♪

♪ I didn't build this wall
for two ♪

♪ You know I built this wall
for you ♪

♪ I didn't build this wall
for two ♪

Oh.
Hello. Uh...

Hey!
Morning, sleepyhead.

- Oh.
- Did you meet my chef?

Your chef?

Enzo.

You are full of surprises.

Um, if I could have
my eggs poached, please.

What'd you say, Ma?

Wait, "Ma"?

This is your mother?
Of course.

And my chef.

Charming.
It's... um...

And she... lives with you?

No, I live with her.

Ma, this is Diana, the one
I was telling you about.

You speak Italian!

I lived in Florence
for a year.

I studied art history.

I used to love walking
up and down the Arno.

I still remember
the first phrase I learned.

___

"No, I am not a prostitute."

So...

How old are you?

Hey, Charles is gone.

He is?

Yeah, Mirna said
he took off this morning.

Oh, ugh...

I had no idea.

Ugh. Man.

Ugh!

- Men always run.
- Hmm.

Yes, dude!
Walk of Fame!

Ah! That Jake
is a political animal, huh?

Actually...

I backslid last night...
with Zane.

Ah.

Who then offered me coffee

and was, like, nice?

Coffee?

The bar for heteros
is so low.

Oh, my God.
I'm sleeping with both of them.

- I'm literally the worst.
- What?

No, dude.
For double dipping?

Come on.
Guys do it all the time.

What?
What do we do?

- Kels is polyamorous.
- Wow.

Really?
I'm not, okay?

It's just two guys
at one time...

Not at the same time.

Josh... this is bad.

Hey, don't ask me.

I am a "one woman at a time"
kind of guy.

Right, right, right,
because you definitely

never lusted after Liza

while you were with
that little leprechaun.

Wow.

Has anyone seen Liza?

She's on Shelter Island
with Charles,

trying to get a memoir
out of Chrissy Hart.

Chrissy Hart?
Oh, my God.

I framed her
"Rolling Stone" cover...

Remember, with the snake tits...
And I-I-I...

I kissed it good night
for an entire year.

Wait, so Liza's
with Charles right now?

- For work.
- Yeah. Sure.

- Back to my problems.
- What problem? No.

The nice guy
turned out to be sexy.

The sexy guy
turned out to be nice.

That's a win-win.
Exactly.

- Who am I gonna choose?
- Mmmm.

No. You don't.

Have them both, diva.
Come on.

It's healthier
for your flora too.

I feel safe with you, Liza.

- You got an old soul.
- Ha!

Not wrong.

Uh, since we're so close,

can I, uh...
Can I ask you

why you won't let go
of your book?

Ugh.
You know...

I'm scared, man.

I mean, what if people
think it's shit?

Or worse yet, what if people
don't even care anyway?

- I care.
- Yeah...

Your first album was the
soundtrack to my senior year,

even though I never mastered
the heroin-chic look.

Yeah, well,
you're not really mastering

whatever this is anyway.

What I'm trying to say is,

your music is meaningful.

When I was separating
from my husband,

I was... I was scared, too,

of being alone,
of being old,

but then I played that album,

and those songs helped me
let go of that fear,

and I felt strong
and resilient and myself again.

And this memoir,

your wild tales and adventures,

could do the same for more
people than just your fans.

Don't run from this
opportunity, Chrissie.

Then you're no better

than those undeserving men
who ran out on you.

You want me to sign
your boobs?

Please.

Yeah.

Pen.

Wait, wait, wait.

How did you get this?

I didn't run away.

♪ Always and always
and always ascending ♪

♪ The chords seem to pause ♪

♪ But aaaaa-ahh ♪
Synchronized by srjanapala