Younger (2015–…): Season 5, Episode 7 - A Christmas Miracle - full transcript

Well, it looks like
that's the last of it.

- Yeah.
- Hmm.

Before I go,

a little gift for my new star.

Oh, Penelope.

Oh, wow, they're gorgeous.

Thank you.

Luca and I are so excited

to add you to our collection.

I've gotta run, but don't forget

about our holiday party tomorrow night.



I cannot wait to show you off.

Okay, I'll be there.

- Thank you.
- Wonderful. Bye, ladies.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Wow, I can't believe they
bought all of your art.

It's a little lonely here without it.

Ah, you'll get over it.

I nearly blacked out
when I saw that check.

I can't wait to buy people
expensive Christmas presents

instead of making them homemade junk.

Should I stop making your gift now?

Oh, no, no, no. I love that scarf.

It's a poncho.

I knew that.



Hi, honey, what time

should I pick you up from Penn Station?

Dad's picking me up from school,

so I'll just ride with him

to Rose's parents' party tonight.

Oh, so your dad is definitely coming?

It's the one present I
requested for Christmas.

One night together as a family.

Well, couldn't I just crochet
you something instead?

Hmm. See you tonight!

Oh, my God.

What did Nicolle Wallace
do to piss you off?

- I thought you liked her.
- No, I do,

but arguing with her
intelligently on Twitter

about immigration will move
the needle with Dem voters

more than a screaming
match with Ann Coulter.

_

_

- Holy shit.
- Hmm?

I just got a text from my agent.

"New York Magazine" is
going to do an excerpt

from my first chapter.

Ah, congratulations!

Thanks.

And you wrote the hell
out of that chapter.

Yeah, not until you pushed me.

Zane contributed a lot too.

Don't be so self-effacing.

That sounds like Washington-speak.

Oh, no, you see,

in D.C., we don't leave our
fingerprint on anything,

- unless it's polling in the '70s.
- Oh.

But I do think that we
make a very good team.

Mm-hmm.

I have a breakfast meeting.

So do I. Should we jump in the shower?

What? It'll be faster.

Come on!

_

And lastly, I just want
to thank all of you

for your hard work.

It's been a tumultuous year,

but you have been extraordinary,

and we're ending the year
on a bit of very good news

from Millennial.

Kelsey.

Two pieces of good news, actually.

Well, first "Marriage
Vacation" was number two

on the "Times" Holiday Reads list.

And we just got news this morning

that "New York Magazine"
is going to excerpt

Jake Devereux's memoir
before publication.

You've both done a
tremendous job on the book,

and I'm looking forward to reading it.

- Yeah.
- So that is all.

Happy holidays and thank you.

Hey, guys, the magazine reached out

and invited all of us
to their holiday party,

if you're available.

Great. Wouldn't miss it.

Okay.

Have a car at 7:30 at
my house for the party,

and until then please keep
that epilepsy trigger

as far away from my eyeline as possible.

Hey, I just got that email

from Jake's agent before the meeting.

Sorry if I sprung that on you.

Not sprung, I knew.

You did? How?

Who do you think leaked the
chapter to "New York Magazine"?

Wow.

You're good.

We're good.

So what time should we head out?

Oh, um, I'm gonna have
to meet you there,

because I'm... I'm getting a blowout.

I'll see you there.

I'll see you there then.

Hey, congrats on the excerpt,

but I'm gonna have to
miss the party tonight.

What? Why?

Oh, it's family stuff.

No! Oh, I need you there
to run interference.

Jake and Zane.

I'm kind of like seeing both of them.

What?

Why didn't you tell me?

You have been gaslighting
an entire company

since I met you.

Can I have one secret?

Oh, God.

Sergei, it's Diana Trout in 4A.

I'm expecting someone soon.

If you can just send them up.

He did? When?

Surprise.

It's so full.

So many pine needles.

It'll be Christmas all over my carpet.

You're welcome.

Could you, uh, scoot?

There we go.

Why don't you finish getting dressed

and I'll set it up?

Or haul it away if you really hate it.

I don't hate it.

Work on that while you're in there.

Congratulations.

The last political book "New
York Magazine" excerpted

was "Fire and Fury," so
you're in good company.

Well, I don't know if I'm
on that level, but...

Don't be so self-effacing.

Well, I do know that I am lucky

to be in such good hands.

Mm-hmm.

I am going to get us some champagne.

Thank you.

Success looks good on us.

We haven't even finished the book.

And yet, look at all these people

already talking about it.

It's crazy, right?

What's crazy is that we got
in on the ground floor

of a huge wave of political
nostalgia in publishing.

Ah, it's gonna be a big
year for us, Peters.

What... what are you doing?

Nothing that I didn't do last weekend.

Okay, but last weekend
we were not at a party

with our author and our boss.

Mistletoe.

That's poinsettia.

Eh, close enough.

Jake, it has been a pleasure,

but I have another
holiday party tonight.

I look forward to reading the book.

You know what, let me walk you out.

There's something I wanted to
talk to you about in private.

Yeah, please.

We should get going to the party.

You can deal with that later.

That looks lovely. Ready?

Slow down.

One more thing.

Do you like it?

Ooh!

Damn it.

Thank you so much for inviting us.

- Your home is beautiful.
- Oh, thank you.

Where'd you get the sweaters from?

Bad Hanukkah sweaters are
kind of our Christmas thing.

Yeah, and then on Christmas Day,

Bob makes his reindeer latkes,

and we all make fun of
a bad Christmas movie.

Oh, I love that. I love that.

So when will we see the
Miller family tradition?

What? We don't really
have a family thing.

Oh, we most certainly do.

Yeah, Caitlin told me
once when we were drunk.

- It sounds hilarious.
- Don't play dumb, Mom.

Yeah, don't play dumb, honey.

- Oh, oh, that?
- Yeah!

Hey, no, that was our thing
when Caitlin was seven.

Well, yeah, we've done
it every year since.

We did in the privacy of our own home.

Come on, the Katzes are
doing their family thing.

Caitlin promised that we would do ours.

- Uh, have to.
- I'm dying to know what it is.

Well, we can't 'cause David
didn't bring an instrument.

Oh, wait, it's in the car.

Ah!

Why does Dad know about this and not me?

Because I knew you'd make that
face and try to get out of it.

Yeah, a drunk promise
is still a promise.

Please, Mom. Please.

- I just really want to see it.
- Please, please for me.

Please, please!

Okay, fine.

I'm gonna need an apron

and, like, a gallon of
eggnog heavily spiked.

Yes!

- You're doing it!
- Hell yeah, it's Miller Time!

Ugh, you're so weird.

♪ High on the hill was
a lonely goatherd ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee,
oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

♪ Loud was the voice of
the lonely goatherd ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee, oda-loo ♪

♪ Folks in the town that
was quite remote heard ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee,
oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

♪ Lusty and clear from the
goatherd's throat heard ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee, oda-loo ♪

♪ Yo-ho, lay-dee, oh-da-lay-dee ♪

♪ Oh yo ho, lay-de-oh-de-lay ♪

♪ Yo-oh, lay-dee-oh-de-lay ♪

- Charles!
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ One little girl in a
pale pink coat heard ♪

♪ Lay-dee, oh-de-lay-dee,
oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

That's the woman we've been
wanting to set you up with.

I have been wanting to set you up with.

♪ Yo-ho, lay-dee, oh-da-lee-oh ♪

♪ Yo ho, lay-de-oh-de-lay ♪

Her daughter is Rose's roommate.

- Who's that on the accordion?
- Don't worry about him.

That's the ex. Out of the picture.

This is just their holiday tradition.

Huh.

- ♪ Yo-de-lay-hee ♪
- ♪ Yo-de-lay-hee ♪

♪ Yo-de-lay-dee, yo-de-lay, hey ♪

- They're really good.
- Oh, excuse me, fraulein.

There is someone who
would like to meet you.

Charles Brooks,

this is Liza Miller.

Very nice to meet you, Liza.

You too.

That's quite an act you've got there.

Charles owns a publishing company.

And didn't you used to
work in publishing, Liza?

When I was younger.

A different life.

Well, you two have so
much to talk about.

There you are. I want
you to meet somebody.

Oh, sorry, hi.

Um, this is Charles Brooks.

He's a friend of the Katzes.

This is my daughter, Caitlin.

- Hi, Caitlin.
- Hi.

Mom, Becky, just got here.

I want you to say hello.

- Oh, Becky. I love Becky.
- Yeah.

You've never met her.

Well, if you've met one
Becky, you've met 'em all.

Right? Excuse us.

Is that a thing?

She's adorable, right?

We can set you up if you're interested.

She is definitely interesting.

Good morning.

Oh, good morning.

Who died and made you Karl Lagerfeld?

I'm just trying on looks
for Penelope's party.

Do you think I could pull off a harness?

Hmm, that's a choice every
woman has to make for herself.

How was family night?

Ugh, David kept putting
his arm around me,

and Caitlin goaded me into yodeling

in a roomful of strangers.

Oh, just like Norman
Rockwell painted it.

- And then Charles showed up.
- Wait, he saw you yodel?

In braids and a makeshift dirndl

while David played the accordion.

Oh, this is the worst
secondhand embarrassment

I've ever felt, and my
cousin is still in "Stomp."

Yeah, I can't wait to never
talk about it again.

Hi, good morning.

Ugh, I thought you
were making breakfast.

- This is for infants.
- It's for hangovers.

- Hey, Tilda Swinton.
- I'll take it.

Ah, what's up, Caitlin?

I, uh, I just wanted to
drop off some presents

before I head to my mom's tonight.

- Oh.
- Oh, that's so sweet.

- Thank you.
- Don't get too excited.

It's just a little something I made.

So is mine.

Sorry, I didn't have time to wrap it.

- Oh.
- Merry Christmas.

It's perfect.

- Yay.
- I love it, thank you.

You're so welcome.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. Thank you.

You and Josh are hanging out again?

- No, we're just friends.
- Did you not see him?

"It's perfect." Ah, he still loves you!

And I am still too old for him.

Since when does he care that you're old?

Since I am your mom.

And my romantic relationships
are none of your business.

Hey, you wanted to see us?

I did, yeah. Come on in, have a seat.

You left before the party
got going last night.

Everybody was talking about
Devereux and Millennial.

We're gonna have to hunker
down and work the rest

of that book over pretty
hard over the break.

That is actually what
I wanted to discuss.

Before I left last night,

Jake said he feels the
process could use some...

um, some streamlining.

Whatever he wants, I'm
sure we can accommodate.

He would prefer to work with Kelsey

for the rest of the book.

Me? Why?

Zane and I both worked on that chapter.

He's the reason it's in the magazine.

He said he doesn't want
to tie up two editors

when one could do the job.

Now, he was very...

Political.

Diplomatic.

Well, at the end of the day,

the author gets what the author wants.

Right, Peters?

Zane.

Zane, slow down.

Do you wanna tell me what that was

or should I guess?

I didn't orchestrate that.

Okay, I'll guess.

There's something going
on between you two.

Right?

I knew he had a thing for you.

I should have stopped
this the second I saw it.

I did not ask Jake to
take you off the book.

Well, he did.

And now you have your
bestseller all to yourself.

I hope it was worth it.

It was very nice to meet you last night.

Very charming.

Try humiliating.

No, not at all.

You saw me yodel.

You might as well have seen me naked.

Not that I'm recommending that either.

I'm... I'm gonna go. Merry Christmas.

Wait.

So is this an annual thing?

It was when we were still together.

We did it once when Caitlin was little,

and she begged us every year after that.

I guess it meant more
to her than I realized.

A few years ago, we, uh...

we hosted an Easter egg roll,

and the bunny cancelled,
so I had to step in.

I was hunched over in that
costume for three hours.

Soaked in sweat.

It's amazing, the things
that we do for our kids.

Isn't it?

Caitlin's why I work so hard for my job.

Why I did what I did.

Anyway, um, what are you
doing for the holidays?

Uh, Pauline has the
girls for a few days,

so I'm going skiing, and
then I'm gonna meet them

at their grandparents' house in Florida.

And you?

Caitlin's with me all week.

So I'll probably just
be tracking her phone

and panicking the entire time.

So is that what I have
to look forward to?

Oh, no, you have two of them.

It's going to be much worse.

Um... I should, um,

I should probably get this to Diana.

Yes.

Liza, I'm leaving for the holidays,

but I wanted to give you this.

Diana, that's so sweet.

I thought you weren't
a Christmas person.

I'm not, but Enzo got a tree,

and it looked empty with
no gifts under it, so...

I like this guy for you.

Enough about him. Open it.

Oh.

Ohh.

It's gorgeous.

Neckwear should inspire envy, Liza,

not seizures.

Thank you.

Diana, oh, uh, here.

It's nothing extravagant, but...

Did you make this?

Thank you, Liza.

Never give it up.

The wealth disparity just makes
it awkward for both of us.

- Of course.
- Oh, uh, one more thing.

From Charles, your bonus.

More than I approved, but...

you earned it.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

_

_

Oh, hi, George.

You just missed him.

Let me know when you'd
like me to come by

to help install my art.

Of course, I will
definitely keep you posted.

Great.

Maggie Amato, this is Akilah Jeffries.

Akilah, oh, I'm such a huge fan.

I loved your lighting installation

in Battery Park during Occupy.

Well, thank you, my dear.

Are you coming to St.
Bart's in February?

- What?
- She doesn't know it yet,

but she is.

It's a fabulous artists' retreat.

We get a house and a yacht
and we just unplug.

I'm always my freest in St. Bart's.

Tell her how much fun it is, Akilah.

So what are you working on lately?

I can't remember the last time

- I saw one of your exhibits.
- Oh, it's been a minute.

I've slowed down somewhat
since Penelope and Luca

bought my entire collection.

Oh, wow, me too.

Where are they displaying your pieces?

All in storage.

We're an investment now.

Not that I'm complaining.

I went to Turks and
Caicos twice last year.

Yo, I don't know that
there's an SPF high enough

for me to handle that
many Caribbean retreats.

It's not really up to you anymore, dear.

Did Penelope give these to you?

- Oh, the golden handcuffs?
- Mm-hmm.

A little on-the-nose. Don't
tell her I said that.

She thinks it's clever.

A toast to St. Bart's.

- St. Bart's.
- I can't make it. I'm sorry.

I'm really thankful for everything,

but I just don't feel
that I'm the right fit

for your collection.

- Excuse me?
- I didn't make all of this work

for it to be buried in the
artistic Sunken Place.

Merry Christmas.

Good night.

- Josh.
- Hey.

- Hey!
- What's up?

Uh, nothing.

I just, um, wanted to wish
you a merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Just heading to LaGuardia, so...

Hey, I don't know what happened

between you and my mom,

but I hope you guys work it out.

What, did she say something to you?

No, but...

you're the best thing to
happen to her in a long time.

You're good for her.

Whatever you say.

Just don't give up on her.

Okay?

Okay.

Good.

Have a good holiday.

- Yeah, you too.
- Yeah.

I told you the side streets
would be a mess in the snow.

We should have taken the BQE.

It's fine.

♪ High on a hill was a lonely goatherd ♪

♪ Lay-ee, oh-de-lay-dee,
oh-de-lay-hee-hoo ♪

- ♪ That was the voice of... ♪
- The beloved classic returns

to Broadway for two weeks only.

♪ Folks in a town that
was quite remote heard ♪

Actually, can you turn around?

I'm not gonna go to the airport.

First chance I get, boss.

♪ Yo-del-ay, yo-del-loo ♪

- What are you...
- I don't care anymore.