Young & Hungry (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 3 - Young & Fried - full transcript

??

I can't believe
it's been a month

since I left Josh
and that sick relationship.

I mean, I got sucked
into such a deep hole,

I lost sight of myself
and my dreams,

but, boy, heh, have things
turned around for me.

-Gabi Diamond is back...
-(clink)

and better than ever.

Man:
Gabi! Hairnet!

Oh, sorry! My bad!

You know, one month ago,
I was a mess.

I was depressed.

I was in a screwed up
relationship with my chef.

I hit rock bottom,
my friend.

But Kaminski's back, baby...

and better than ever.

Okay...

We have two breakfast burritos,
two hash browns, two chips,

two sides of guac,
and one fork.

See you at lunch.

(theme music playing)

? She in the spotlight ?

? And she turn my head ?

? She run a red light ?

? 'Cause she bad like that ?

? I like that
ooh, baby, ooh, baby ?

? Baby ?

? I like that ooh, baby
ooh, baby ?

Yolanda, what kind
of birthday cake

do you want
for your party again?

It's really hard to keep track
of all the cakes you eat.

It's the Peanut Butter Dream
from Jan's Cake House.

I mean, you should know it.

It's right next to that store
that sells dress clothes
for toddlers.

Okay, here's the address.

And just so I know you went,

bring me back a cupcake.

(sighs) Now, I have a problem.

In addition to drinking,
gambling, and overeating?

I have to send out the e-vites,
and I don't know

what is going on
with Josh and Gabi.

Now, I thought
they'd be talking by now,

but they're not.

Isn't it great?

No! Obviously
I have to invite Josh.

I mean, he's my boss
and he's hostin' and payin'.

But I don't know
what to do about Gabi.

If you don't invite her,
she'll be really hurt.

-Yeah.
-Can I tell her?

I want all the people
I love to be there.

Even my daughter's trying
to get leave from the military.

I mean, how many times
am I going to turn 50?

Once, and that was
ten years ago.

What are you guys talking about?

Yolanda was gonna send out
the e-vites for her 50th,

and because you
and Gabi aren't talking,

she's not gonna invite her.

Yay!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Of course you're inviting
her, Yolanda.

It's your big day.

So, you don't have
a problem seeing her?

And her seeing you?

Oh, yeah, I get it.

Might be a little uncomfortable
for her to see how great

I'm doing without her.

But don't worry,
not gonna rub it in.

I'll be the bigger person.

Yes, you are.

I'm gonna go send
those invites out right now!

Well, I really admire
your confidence.

Are you sure you're gonna
be able to handle this?

Handle what?

Gabi seeing this!

What are you doing?

You're fat, Josh.
You're fat.

I'm not gonna glaze over it,

even though I know
you love anything glazed,

'cause you're fat!

Need I remind you
that when we were in Hawaii,

you said I had a body
built for speedos?

Well, now it's built
from Fritos.

I have not gained
any weight since then.

Good. Well, I just picked up

the suit you wore
to the Dingo Awards.

Why don't you try it on?

Okay, I will,
and it's gonna
fit beautifully.

I'm gonna show you,
I have not gained any weight.

Show me.

Oh, my God, I'm fat!

Elliot, I cannot let
Gabi see me like this.

-Yolanda! Don't send out the--
-(phone chimes)

Invites.

Hi!

Hey! Sofia, great news!

I got bumped up
from prep cook to fry cook.

-Ooh! That's amazing.
-Mm-hmm.

What's the difference?

Seventy cents an hour.

No more minimum wage
for this girl.

Life is going pretty great
for Gabi.

Well, I am very happy
you're happy

because we just got
an invitation

to Yolanda's 50th birthday...

at Josh's.

What? I can't see Josh!
I'm a freakin' fry cook!

(phone rings)

Oh, my God, it's him.
He's calling. What do I say?

-What if he asks
what I'm doing?
-Don't answer it.

Fine! I'll answer it!

Hello.

Hey!

Gabi, it's Josh,
your former boss.

And other stuff.

Oh. Hi, Josh.
It's, uh, me, Gabi,

which... you know
'cause you called me.

So did you get the invite
to Yolanda's birthday?

I did.

So... are you coming?
Not coming?

Look, I-- If not,
I totally get it. I mean...

might be a little embarrassing.

Embarrassing?
Why would I be embarrassed?

Well, you know...

coming back to the place
where you used to work...

when you're not working.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Who told you
I'm not working?
I'm working.

I have a great job
and I love it.

Oh. Really?

Doin' what?

Wh--
(gasps)

Giada!

Giada De Laurentiis!

Is who I'm working for.

The delicious
Italian food maker?

Yeah. Uh-huh.
Yeah. That's the one.

Best-selling cookbooks, Emmys,

her own product line.

She may even be richer than you.

(chuckles)
You don't-- I doubt it.

So wait, where, um,
where did we leave things?

Are you-- you comin'?
You're not coming?

You're too uncomfortable
to come?

Why would I be uncomfortable?

I'm working for Giada.

It sounds like you're the one
who may have a problem
with me coming.

Problem? What?

I don't have a problem!

Whole reason for me to--

call you is
to get you to come.

Great. I'm coming.

Great. Good. See you there.

Son-of-a-bitch,
she's coming.

Hey! Hey!

Where's Giada?
Where's Giada?

-Where's Giada?
-Oh, my God, Gabi,

I asked her to say
"Spi-geh-tee,"

and she said,
"Spi-geh-tee."

Where is she?

She just came
to get a coffee and left.

Why are you
freaking out-- Oh.

Let me guess.

You told Josh that you were
working with Giada

because you were embarrassed,

and now you need her
to give you a job?

No.

Yes.

Gabi?

Hey, I just got your text.
What's the emergency?

Ta-dah!
Check it out.

Thick slices of ham covered
in melted provolone cheese

topped with a vinaigrette slaw

and a saffron aioli dipped
in egg batter and deep fried.

Meet The Giada.

(vocalizes)

Oh, my God, Gabi.
This is amazing.

Mm-hmm. Thanks!

So I found out
Giada is shooting
a special here in town,

so all I gotta do
is find her,

give her The Giada,
and get her to hire me,

and then by the time
I see Josh,

the only thing
I'll be full of
is "spi-geh-tee."

You know what, Gabi?

As crazy as that plan sounds,

if Giada tastes this sandwich...

she will definitely
give you a job.

Right?

I mean, how lucky am I
that I was talking to Josh

right when Giada walked in?

Can you imagine
if he found out
that I was a fry cook?

(sighs)

I guess sometimes you're just

in the right place
at the right time.

Oh, my God,
Gabi's working at a diner.

(laughs)

You are not gonna believe
what happened.

You found Giada
and gave her The Giada.

Can I tell the story?

So I found out where Giada was
shooting her special, right?

And so, I followed the crew
back to the hotel,

and when we were
in the elevator, I said,

"How cool is it that
we're all staying on
the same floor as Giada?"

and they said,
"No, we're on the fourth floor.

Giada's on the top floor
in a suite,"

and I said,
"Well, I guess
she likes me better."

-(laughs)
-So, I went up
to the top floor

and I knocked on
the presidential suite,
and she answered.

She answered
her own door, Sofia.

So, I told her that
I made her something so good

that when she tastes it,
she's gonna have to hire me,

and she said,
"How did you get
my room number?"

and I said,
"Eat my sandwich, Giada!"

And that's when security came

and escorted me
off the property.

Somehow I think there's more.

So, I went downstairs
and I found Giada's driver,

and I gave him the sandwich
to give to her,

and he started eating it,
so I yelled at him,

and that's when Giada came down
and she gave me this.

Her autograph?

Yes, on the bottom
of this restraining order.

Okay.

So, um, just to be clear,

you're not working for Giada?

Correct.

-Ugh.
-And I can't go
to Yolanda's birthday party.

I can't face Josh.

Hey, girls.

Hey, Yolanda.

(sighs)

I just found out
my daughter's not
gonna make my party.

I mean, it's hard enough
turning the big five-oh,

but now none
of my kids are
gonna be there.

Yeah. Listen, Yolanda,

I'm really sorry,
but I don't think--

Oh well. The only thing
that's gonna make it better

is you're gonna be there.

I always thought of you girls
as my daughters. (chuckles)

Of course,
my real daughter

is overseas fighting
for your freedom.

So, that makes
her a little better.

(laughs)

Oh, but I love you two! Oh!

I'm so glad
you both gonna be there.

-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.

Wouldn't miss it
for the world.

A fry cook at a diner?

Wow.

I can't believe she lied to me
just to make it seem

like she was doing so great
without me.

How pathetic.

Now pull!

(exhales)

You know,
I can't believe I spent

all that time working out

when all I needed
was this man corset.

-Ready for the final pull?
-Yeah.

Pull it really tight.

I want to make sure
I look gooood!

(breathing heavily)

So, do I look good?

Like, really good?

I mean, it's been, like,
a month since I've seen Josh.

You look amazing.

But, uh, what--
what is that smell?

Oh.

(whispers)
It's garlic.

I put a little behind my ears

to sell that
I'm working for Giada.

Gabi, I know you really want
to impress Josh,

but just be careful not to get
too carried away with this lie

because sometimes they have
a way of unraveling.

Don't worry,
I have a whole plan.

After I'm done
rubbing my happiness

in Josh's face, I'm gonna
flip my hair like this...

and that'll be your signal
to call me so I can pretend

it's Giada needing me
for something really important,

and then I can
exit gracefully...

(elevator dings)

...like a winner in life.

Josh, I can't thank you enough
for hosting this party for me.

This is the best birthday ever.

Anything for you, Yolanda.

-You know there's nothing
more important than--
-(door opens)

Gabi!

She's here.

Oh, I can't wait to see the look
on her face when I bust her.

(squeals)

Oh, hey, girls!

-Welcome to my par-tay.
-Gabi: Aww.

Both:
Happy birthday, Yolanda!

Oh, my God,
mini lasagnas?

Is it my birthday?

I'm so glad you made it, Gabi.

Yeah, I wouldn't miss it
for the world.

You know, there's nothing
more important to me than--

Josh.

Hi.

Hi.

(chuckles nervously)

Well, give me a hug.

-All right.
-Okay.

(groans)

Wow.

Hard bod.

Yeah, you know,
just lots of hard work,

diet, and exercise.
Nothing else.

Enough about me.

Tell me about
this amazing job with Giada.

I can't really talk about it.

We have a lot
of secret projects
in the works.

We're writing a book together.
Can't say any more!

We're opening
a restaurant together.

Possibly a chain.
Oh, did that just slip out?

-Zip! (laughs)
-Wow. That sounds unreal.

What's the concept
of this new restaurant?

Um, you know, Giada
and I haven't really

worked out all the details yet.

Mm. Where's it located?

Wait, you're not gonna
have to move, are you?

These are all
very good questions,

and I have answers

to all of these very good...

questions.

(phone rings)

Oh, no. Ooh, someone's calling.

Oh, dear, this looks
very important.

I'm gonna have to take this.

Hi, Giada.

What's, uh, shakin'
with you, G?

Sorry, Josh.

It's Giada,
so I really gotta...

talk to her.

Wouldn't it be easier to just...

talk to her in person?

Gabi, Giada's here.

Oh, my God.

Wow, this is all...

such a surprise.

-(Gabi chuckles)
-Isn't it, Gabi?

Um, Giada...

-Listen--
-No, no, no.
Back away.

The restraining order says,

you can't be
within 100 feet of me.

Oh!

Giada, you're
just so funny.

-Come here, you!
-Stop, stop.

I have pepper spray
and I'm not afraid to use it.

(sighs)

Listen, I'm sorry.
She's a nut-job.

Send the check directly
to my charity.

Wait, you promised!

Fine.

-Spi-geh-tee.
-(gasps)

Yay!

Gotcha.

What?

Oh, Gabi, Gabi, Gabi.

You tried so hard
to make it look like

you were doing so great
without me

when I know you work
at a diner. Yeah.

Elliott saw you
when he was going
to get Yolanda's cake.

Sorry.

Okay, but I only--

Wait a minute.

You knew?

So, this whole thing
was just a setup
to humiliate me?

No, no, no, no, no.
You're not turning
this around on me.

Oh, it's turning all by itself.

I may have lied,
but it was only
a desperate attempt

to make myself not look pathetic
in front of you.

But you knew I was pathetic,

and so you did a mean thing
to make me look pathetic-er!

(clinking)

Attention, y'all!

Why don't we all shut our mouth

and go out
on the terrace

and have some cake
and open some gifts?

(chuckles)
Do somethin'.

Guys, Yolanda's really upset.

Just keep it down.

-Yeah, keep it down, Josh.
-You keep it down.

-You keep it down.
-You keep it down.

You!

Ooh! This is from
my daughter Vanessa...

who sadly
couldn't be here tonight.

(gasps)

My goodness,
this is beautiful!

You know what?
I may not be working

my dream job,
but at least I'm working.

And my life is better
without you.

Oh, please.
Your whole life is a lie.

(corset unraveling)

-Uh-oh.
-(snap)

No, no, no, no, no! No!

What the hell?

Right? He's gigantic!

Who's the big, bad liar now?

Mm. You are so lucky

that necklace landed
in that ficus tree down there.

Yeah, well,
he's the lucky one.

It was his fatness
that caused all of this.

All right, I'm gonna
run downstairs

and see if the Walshs are home.

Get real, Josh.

You haven't run
anywhere in weeks.

-(clang)
-What the hell is that?

An emergency rope ladder.
Someone's goin' down

this damn thing
and getting my necklace.

"Maximum weight limit:
200 pounds."

-You're out.
-You're out.

Okay, fine.

Sofia will do it.

What? No!

No way! I'm the only one
who didn't do anything wrong!

All right, fine.

I'm a fry cook at a diner.
What do I have to live for?

(gasps)
Oh...

Gabi, wait.

This might be dangerous.

Let me find my camera.

(whimpers)

(breathing heavily)

No one answered the door.

Gabi, what are you doing?
Get back up here.

No. I'm getting
Yolanda's necklace.

Well, then I'm helping you.

No, you're not.

Elliot, I climbed
Mount Kilimanjaro.

Now you are Mount Kilimanjaro!

Okay, I'm really close!
I just can't get there!

Same thing happened to me
with my date last night!

Just trying to lighten the mood.

Here! Use these!

(grunts)

(grunts)

Okay, I got it! Aah!

-Oh, thank God.
-Now get back up here.

Stop yelling at me!

If you hadn't eaten
all your feelings,

you would be
the one on the ladder

trying to save
Yolanda's birthday.

Huh! Well, if you wouldn't have
lied, no one would be on
the ladder in the first place.

This is not my fault!

This is your fault!

(screams)

Okay, that last part
was kind of my fault!

Oh, Yolanda,
I'm really sorry

we didn't
find your necklace.

But look on the bright side,
now we both hate Gabi.

Well, we could've kept looking

if Josh didn't have to come back

because his thighs
were chaffing.

No.

I stopped looking
'cause I couldn't take

your whining about the outfit
you have to return

since you don't actually
work for Giada.

Well, at least
all my new clothes

are the same size
as my new ones.

-Really? You want to go there?
-Yeah! Oh, you think
I'm not afraid to go there?

-I'll go there!
-Go there! Just call me fat!

-(arguing continues)
-Stop!

You didn't hire Giada
to cook for my party

because she was
my favorite chef.

You did it because you wanted
to catch Gabi in a lie.

And wipe the smirk
off your face!

You didn't care
about my party either!

You just wanted Josh to think

you were doing great
without him!

(whimpers)

You know, I almost
didn't have this party

because I was so worried
about your feelings.

Well, obviously neither one
of you cared about mine!

You're so damn selfish!

Yeah! That's my thing!

This your idea
of cheering me up?

Taking me to a crappy diner
on the wrong side of town?

You live around the block.

Exactly.

Both:
Surprise!

Wait! Is this an intervention?

This just fell in my purse!

No. Yolanda.

We just wanted
to say we're sorry.

Yeah, everything you said
about us at the apartment
was true.

We are selfish.

And we wanted to do
something very special
to make it up to you.

Well, I don't know how
you're gonna do that.

That necklace was
one of a kind.

That's why we got you
something a little better.

Hi, Mama.

Vanessa!

-Hi, Mom.
-Oh, my God,
she's really here!

(both chuckle)

Thank you!

-Happy 54th birthday, Mom!
-Shh!

I think
she might forgive us.

Yeah, I think so.

You know, I don't mean
to pat myself on the back,

but it was a pretty good idea
bringing Vanessa home.

You're right, Gabi.
I'm the one with
the connections,

the money,
and the private jet,
but great idea.

-We did it together.
-Yeah.

It kind of felt like
we were friends again.

It kind of did.

And friends don't let friends
wear hairnets.

What do you say
you come back
and work for me?

Josh, I would love that--

-Great!
-But I can't.

'Cause you're...
still attracted to me?

See, that's funny,

but it kind of makes me want
to punch you in the face,

which is the reason
I can't come back yet.

It's too soon.

Right.

I totally get it.

(clicks tongue)

How about now?

(chuckles)

Okay, so about this whole
us being friends again thing...

Can we be friends
with Benedicts?

I'm sorry, I just--
I really miss your cooking.

Well, I am here 8:00-6:00.

Good to know.

You get here at 8:00?

(bell dings)

All right, one
double cheeseburger,

chicken tenders and fries,

and a diet root beer.

Baby steps.

-(bell dings)
-Man: Another Giada sandwich
ready for pick up!

Hi! Excuse me.

Hi, I'm Giada,

and I hear you created
a sandwich named after me,

and all my Twitter followers say
I have to try it.

(gasps)

Oh, my God. Giada.

I have your sandwich.

Not again!

Listen, I warned you
the last time!

(screams)

My eyes!

Water! Water!