Young & Hungry (2014–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - Young & Hawaii - full transcript

??

Gabi?

"I took your advice, Sofia."

Hmm.

"By the time you read this,
I'll be on the plane with Josh,

and we'll be one of those
annoying couples who can't
stop making out."

Aww.

"Thank you. I would have
never done this without you
pushing me.

-(phone ringing)
-"I love you, I love you,
I love you."

I hate you,
I hate you, I hate you!

(sobbing and muttering)

...his therapist!

Josh is on the plane
with his therapist?!

Yes.

Did you say anything to him?

No. What was
I supposed to say?

That I thought I was
ready to forgive him
because I'm so stupid?

Or how I thought he was
my one-in-a-million
'cause I'm so stupid?

Or how I thought he was
excited to see me
'cause I'm so stupid?

Gabi, you have
to stop blaming yourself.

You know what? You're right.

I blame you!

You're the one who told me
to come on the plane and throw
myself in his arms

like a big stupid!

Okay, Gabi,
just calm down.

You're already on the plane.

And hey, you always wanted
to go to Australia.

No, I haven't!

This stupid plane is stopping
in Hawaii, which makes this trip
even longer.

No, no, that's great.
You just get off in Hawaii.

And do what?

I don't know anybody.
I don't speak the language.

Listen to me, just get off
the plane in Hawaii,

and then buy a ticket
to San Francisco.

I can't.

I used up all my miles with
a one-way trip to Australia.

That's okay.
You can use some of mine.

You don't have
any left either.

I'm sorry.

I may have a way
to help you out.

I'll do it.
What is it? I'll do it.

(theme music playing)

? She in the spotlight ?

? And she turned my head ?

? She run a red light ?

? 'Cause she bad like that ?

? I like that
ooh, baby, ooh, baby ?

? Baby ?

? I like that ooh, baby
ooh, baby ?

So, um, how is it exactly that
you're going to help me?

Okay. This is the thing.

I'm in a situation very
similar to yours,

but way sadder.

Okay, no offense,

but there is nothing worse than
what just happened to me.

I got stood up at the altar.

Okay, I'm gonna give you
one of these back.

Oh, there's more.

I am on my honeymoon right now,

by myself.

You're on your "one-y-moon"?

That would be funny if I hadn't

had my heart ripped from my body
and stomped on.

(sighs)
So, here's my offer.

I'm heading to this resort
in Maui

called Flip Flops for Lovers,

which I have been exploring
on my phone,

only to find out that the entire
resort is for couples only.

Which is where you come in.

Are you asking me to ask Josh
and Dr. Rounds

if they want to buy your
honeymoon package off of you?

What? No.

I was gonna suggest that

you come on my honeymoon
with me.

Not for sex or anything.

You mean, like, as mutually
devastated strangers?

Exactly.

And before you answer,

my name is Adam Foley.

I'm a really good guy.

Let's google me.

So, look,

I own my own T-shirt company.

"Shirt-for-brains."

I made this shirt.

Ju Mar!

Hahaha!
I don't get it.

Amanda was supposed
to wear the other half.

(gasps)

Aww!

Oh...

So, what do you say?

Come with me,
and, in return,

I'll buy you a ticket
back to San Francisco?

I don't know.

A luxury hotel,
free food, free booze.

-What's in it for me?
-(laughs)

Gabi, will you
be my fake wife?

Fake yeah, I will.

(laughing)

I can't believe our rental
beach house turned out
to be such a hellhole.

It was so old
and disgusting in person.

It looked nothing
like the photos.

Well, now you know how
all your online dates feel.

I just got off the phone
with the rental company,

and they're giving us
a full refund.

Oh! Then we can stay here.

I already checked.
They still have rooms available.

Aloha! I'm Danny.
Welcome to Flip Flops
for Lovers,

a couples only retreat.
May I check you in?

Wait. Couples only?
As in no singles allowed?

Yup.

So, which one of you
is the couple?

-We are.
-We are!

Oh my God,
you're a thrupple!?

A whupple?

A three-person couple.

We're trying to increase
business by penetrating--

no pun intended--

the three-person
relationship market.

So, if you three are lovers,

-Eww.
-Eww.

I'll give you
three nights for free?

-Oh!
-M?nage ? trois.

-Spicy!
-Let's start having sex now.

Flight attendant:
And for those of you continuing
with us to Australia,

please remain seated while
our Hawaii passengers deplane.

Well, you know, I'm actually
kind of glad the Dingo people
sent me on a commercial flight.

Feels good to rough it
every once in a while.

Ooh, hot towel!

Plus, private jets are
much harder to sneak onto.

Kidding.

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

You know, I've never
been to Australia?

I mean, look, Koalas!

Aww.

I recently read
the Koala population
is suffering

due to a catastrophic
outbreak of chlamydia.

Yeah. I guess that's
what they get for being
so darn cute.

(laughing)

You're funny.

This is funny.
Life's funny.

Yeah.

What are we talking about?

Just how we ended up
on this plane together.

You bought a ticket
and followed me?

Should I have
not done that?

No. You know, it actually
feels good to have someone
to talk to right now.

And someone
to see Australia with.

Josh, you've been so consumed
with this Gabi situation,

you need what we therapists
call "an emotional vacation."

I like vacations.

Great. So, maybe
after the Dingo awards,

we can visit
the Sydney Opera House,

hit up a few bars
in Melbourne,

and make passionate love
beside the Great Barrier Reef.

What's that now?

I'm kidding!

It's all a part
of the emotional vacation.

You gotta laugh,
let loose,

put a baby in me.

-What?
-What?

(laughs)
This is fun.

Oh. There they are.

First two seats
on the righ-ay-ay--
She's looking over here!

Aww, look how cute
that T-shirt is on Gabi.

Gabi-- Gabby me!
I can't stop talking.

I never noticed how blue
your eyes are. What color
are mine?

Red, like the devil.

(gasps)

Maui wowie!

Oh, my God.

Right, they went all out.

They wrote your
names in flowers.

Ech. So lame, I hate it.

Look, they have his and her
merman/mermaid beach towels.

Amanda picked the deluxe
mer-marriage package.

I miss her so much.

Oh, okay.

Listen, I get it, all right?
What she did to you
was unforgivable.

You ask her to marry you,
and she says yes,

and then she leaves you
standing at the altar
waiting for her

because all of a sudden,
she can't commit,

and then she kisses
her therapist, and she flies
with her to Australia!

You know what, I've had it!
Screw Amanda!

-Amanda?
-No...

Josh.

Oh my God,
they have Jet Skis.

I like Jet Skis.

And a pool
with a swim-up snack bar.

(gasps)
A swim-up snack bar?

You know, I have always wanted
to order a panini and a martini
in a bikini.

That's just the beginning.
They have tons of stuff.

Snorkeling, parasailing,

-swimming with dolphins.
-(gasps)

That sounds like
so much fun.

But do you know what
sounds like even more fun?

Taking pictures of us
doing those things.

Revenge pictures.
Tons of 'em.

And when we post them
on Instagram, and Amanda
sees them,

she's gonna dump Dr. Rounds,
and come crawling back!

Let's do one right now.

Cheese.

(shutter clicks)

(laughing)

I've got to say,
I love this grass skirt.

It's very breezy.

And the picture of you in it
already has 100 likes
on Instagram.

But I think that's
probably just because

you didn't know you were
supposed to wear underwear.

I know now.
Thanks to that seagull.

Need anything
from the bar, my bride?

Oh, just something old,
something new,

something blended,
and something blue.

What?

A margarita.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, my bad, Hawaiian Gabi.

Yolanda, it's me.

And you know my name.

Maybe these aren't
as watered down as I thought.

No, Yolanda,
it's really me, it's Gabi.

Girl, Alo-hey!

What the hell are you
doing in Hawaii at the same
resort as me?

Oh, well, I went to go
surprise Josh on his
flight to Australia,

but he was on the plane
with his therapist,
so I called Sofia,

and I bawled my eyes out,
and then I met this guy

whose fianc?e left him
at the altar, so he asked me
to be his fake wife

because this place is
couples only, and it's turning
out to be really fun.

What are you doing here?

Well, Alan, Elliot, and I
went splitsies on
a vacation rental,

but it turned out to be a bust,
so we ended up here,

but they only take couples,
so Alan, Elliot, and I are
pretending to be a thrupple!

Oh, haha!
Well, bottoms up.

That's Elliot's job.

Josh, you are
one photogenic man!

Yeah, what can I say?
The camera does love me.

I do, too.

Love taking pictures.

Say "dingo."

Dingo!

Seriously, you should
post these photos.

I don't know.
Isn't that a little egotistical?

Okay, maybe just a few.

Well...

Looks like Gabi's
been posting a lot lately.

With some guy.
Who is this guy?

Does that look like Hawaii?
Is that Hawaii?

Oh, that's the guy I saw
her get off the plane with.

Little miss thing
doesn't waste time, does she?

Gabi was on our plane?
The plane that we were on?

Or someone
that looked like her.

Was it her?
It might have been her.

Could have been her...
It was her.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because it was after you and I
had made all those plans
to hang out together.

Gabi was on my plane.
Why would she be--

Oh, my God.

She came to find me.

She must have wanted to--

Oh my God,
she came to forgive me!

Wait, why did she leave
without-- Oh, my God!

She must have seen us.

I can't believe
you didn't say anything to me.

Josh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

You said you wanted
a vacation from her.

No, no, no.

You said I wanted a vacation
from her. I want her.

Did you hear that?

"I want her." Did I just have
a breakthrough? I think I just
had a breakthrough.

I'm finally ready
to be with Gabi.

Well, congratulations.

Haha. To me!

My plan worked.

My plan to follow you here,

to kiss you, to start
crying right now.

It was all meant to make you
realize your true feelings
for Gabi.

So... you're welcome.

Okay, so I'm gonna go.
Hey, good luck to you.

And to you. Haha.

Oh God,
I need to call my therapist.

Okay, the way you jumped
when you saw that sea turtle.

Listen, I assume everything
is a great white shark
until proven otherwise.

Adam, do you know
what I had today?

Five jumbo shrimp cocktails?

Yes.

And... fun.

Me too. Do you know
what my favorite part
of the day was?

Lying down on the bed
and ordering room service.

When did we do that?

Right now. Ha!

Did you see that?

What?

I just flopped onto the bed,
but it was a happy flop.

An "I had an amazing day" flop.
Not a "God, I miss Amanda" flop.

Hey, maybe that's why
they call it Flip Flops?

Maybe.

Probably not,
but maybe.

Okay. You try it.

Oh!

Hey, I didn't think about
Josh when I flopped either.

Do you know that's
the first time you mentioned
his name today?

And the last.

So, you're okay
with just ordering room service?

No. I wanna order
a movie, too.

Done.

What do you want to eat?
I'm kinda craving a...

-banana split.
-Banana split.

You know what else I'm craving?

-Pepperoni pizza.
-Pepperoni pizza.

Oh, my God. You know
what's so great about you, Adam?

Everything is so easy.

No drama.

You know, this is the best
honeymoon that I've
ever been on.

Me, too.

Hello? (laughs)

Yes, this is Mrs. Foley.

Um, I'd like to order
a banana split,

and a pepperoni pizza,

-and...
-It's okay. Go ahead.

And a jumbo shrimp cocktail.

Okay. Thanks.

Okay, so, movie.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

-Frozen.
-40-Year-Old Virgin.

Okay, maybe
it only works with food.

(knocking)

-Dessert!
-Dessert!

Gabi?

Uh, no, actually,
it's "Mrs. Foley."

Amanda?

Wait, no,
not the Amanda that--

? I love to live alone ?

-(phone rings)
-Oh!

? That is my telephone ?

(ringing continues)

Oh... it's Gabi.

Am I a bad friend
if I don't answer that?

I'm just gonna suck it up
and answer that.

Hey, Gabi!

Look at me!

Adam's ex-fianc?e
showed up in Hawaii
and punched me in the face!

Can you believe this?

Oh my God, Gabi, well...

I mean, I hate
to be insensitive, but what
did you think was gonna happen

once you started posting
provocative photos
of you and Adam?

Oh, okay, so
this is all my fault?

All I'm saying is--

No, no, no!
You know what?

I'm gonna go
talk to Yolanda.

She's drinking at the bar,
and not in such a judgy mood.

You ever get freaky
in the Lazy Groove?

Yolanda! You can't spend
the whole time trying to pick up
married guys at the bar.

Oh, watch me.

If Danny finds out we're
a fake thrupple, we won't
get the free nights.

-Fine.
-Now, come on.

Elliot signed us
up for volleyball.

Volleyball? Oh, hell no.

My game is croquet.

-Hey, Hawaiian Gabi.
-Hey, Hawaiian Gabi.

Hey. Hey, how's it look?

Much better.

I can't believe
you let that girl
sucker-punch you.

You know what?
I get why she did it.

She came here to fight for
the person that she loves.

I wish somebody
would fight for me like that.

Um... Uh, Gabi--

When you want somebody,
you just know it.

You know. How hard is it
to say "I want you.
I want to be with you."

Gabi?

(gasps)
Oh my God, tell me
you heard that, too?

I want you.

I need to be with you.

Gabi, I'm ready.

(slurping)

(knocking)

-Hey.
-Hello, Adam!

It's just me and my three
very large Hawaiian friends

who hunt sharks
for a living.

-Amanda's not here.
-Oh, thank God.

Um, she's not coming back
any time soon, right?

She broke a nail
when she punched you,

so she's in the salon
getting it fixed.

Great. I will pack fast.

Um, you are not
gonna believe what
just happened.

When I was in the bar
getting ice for my cheek,
Josh showed up.

No way!
Was Dr. Rounds with him?

No, no.
He was all by himself.

It turns out, he didn't even
invite Dr. Rounds on his trip.

She just showed up
on the plane.

And so he flew all the way here
to tell me he's finally ready
to be with me.

So we're flying back
to San Francisco. First class.

That's amazing!

And Amanda says she wants
to give us another try, too.

Wow.

You and I should have
gotten fake married weeks ago.

Wow. So we both ended up
getting exactly what we wanted.

I guess we did.

And it wouldn't have
happened without you.
Thank you, Gabi.

My pleasure.

I mean, obviously Amanda and I
have a few things to work out.

Abandonment issues,
trust issues...

Anger management issues.

Lot of issues.
Lot of issues.

Okay, well,
this is everything, so...

-I'm gonna get going.
-Right.

Well, what can I say?

I had a wonderful
fake time, Mrs. Foley.

Mr. Foley, I never had
such a good time faking it.

-Ooh! Oww! Oww!
-Oh, I'm so sorry.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go.

With my suitcase.

Got your passport?

Yeah, we're in America,
you don't need a passport.

What... just... happened?

Okay. Gotta go,
gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.

Josh!

-Hey.
-Hi.

I have a surprise for you.

Since we're already in Hawaii,
and it is so romantic--

Shwa! Last available room.

Ocean view. Right here.

-Right here?
-Yeah.

Oh my God,
look at your face.
You're so excited!

Whoa, Elliot,
I didn't know you were
that good at volleyball.

Please. Smacking around white
balls is my specialty.

Right, Alan?

I told you,
I don't like it.

Do you realize
with three free nights,

our whole stay is costing us
the same as that crappy rental?

To thrupples.

All: Thrupples!

Guys, the hotel would like
to commemorate your
special relationship

with a picture of
the three of you kissing.

Oh, no!

I, uh, got a cold.

Achoo.

You know, if I found out
you were faking it just
to get the free nights,

I'd have to charge you.

Wait one second, mister!

How dare you question
the moral integrity
of this thrupple!

Yeah! We're the real deal.

That's right, honey.
We're a pudding parfait.

Chocolate on the top,
butterscotch in the middle,

and vanilla on the bottom.

Oh, good. So you don't mind
proving it by kissing in
the kissing booth.

-Not at all.
-Our Pleasure.

Where's the tequila?

(camera shutter snaps)

There you go, honey.

Proof is in the pudding.

Vanilla, Butterscotch,
let's bounce.