Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - Freshman Orientation and the Inventor of the Zipper - full transcript

Previously on Young Sheldon...

Hello. I'm Sheldon Cooper,
and this is.

"Why Sheldon Cooper Should
Go to College."

Which is why I'm proposing
that I live at home

but enroll full-time
to continue my studies

with Dr. Sturgis
at East Texas Tech.

Hi, Mary.

I know this must be
a hard decision for you,

but if you let him come here,

I promise we'll take
good care of him.

Sheldon Cooper:
Ready for college,

ready to change the world.

GEORGE SR.:
Cut.

If that doesn't convince her,

I don't know
what her problem is.

♪

I'm excited to finally
usecollege-ruled paper

and not feel likel'm living a lie.

What's college-ruled paper?

The lines are18% closer together.

College sounds hard.

You won't have to worry
about that, honey.

Okay.

Missy, don't forget that you
have to pick out a present

for that birthday next week.

Mom, it's "Melissa" now.

Middle school.

Who's Melissa? Me.

Then who's Missy?

"Missy" is short for "Melissa."

Like how "Billy" is short
for "William."

I don't understand.

You know how your
real name is William?

I'm Billy.

No, we call you Billy, but
your real name is William.

But my underpants
say "Billy" in them.

Mom, is my name William?

Yeah.

Then whose underpants
am I wearing?

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪

JEFF:
Thanks again.

Robin is gonna be
thrilled with this.

Oh, don't thank me. Thank Mary.

She's the one who said
I had to do it.

Just out of curiosity,
did she also mention

helping me build the crib
at some point?

No.

Well, act surprised
when she does.

[engine sputtering
outside]GEORGE JR.: Dang it.

What do you think you're doing?

Trying to get the bike started.

Why?

So I can ride it.

Like hell you are!

Sorry.

You don't use it.

'Cause your mother won't let me.

And if I can't, you can't.

If I get it running,
can I at least sell it?

No.

But it's just sitting here.
What's the point?

Point is I said no.

I can't believe someone so lame
even owned a bike like this.

Why are kids
such a pain in the ass?

I'm sure yours will be great.

I feel like this cover
really says who I am now.

That looks like
all your notebooks.

Missy got ponies.
Melissa gets horses.

[answering machine beeps]

STURGIS:
Hello, Coopers.

Dr. Sturgis here.

This is a message for Mary.

I have some news
I need to share with you

before Sheldon starts college.

Please call me back.

[answering machine beeps]

I wonder why he'd want
to talk to you and not me.

[answering machine beeps]

STURGIS:
Dr. Sturgis again.

If Sheldon happened to hear
that last message

and is wondering why I'd want
to speak to his mother first

and not him...

Excellent question!

It's that kind of curiosity
that makes him

a true man of science.

[answering machine
clicks, beeps]

I'm a true man of science.

[line ringing]

STURGIS: Hello. Hello, Dr. Sturgis.

This is Mary Cooper.

Hi. Thanks for calling me back.

So, what's going on?

Everything okay?

Yes, everything is
quite good, actually.

Well, for me, that is.

Um...

did you know there's
a supercollider being built

in Waxahachie, Texas?

No.

Do you know
what a supercollider is?

Not really.

Would you like a crash course?

Which is humorous

because it involves particles
crashing into each other.

I'd like you to tell me what
this has to do with Sheldon.

Well, that part's less funny.

I've taken a job there.

Hold on.

You're not gonna be around
when Sheldon starts college?

That's a great question.

No.

John, I agreed to let him go

because you were gonna be there
to look after him.

I know.

And I feel terrible
about it, but...

please understand,

this is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.

I couldn't turn it down.

Orientation starts next week.

I'm aware.

[sighs] Well, I hope
that you're ready

to hear him freak out
when you tell him.

I was kind of hoping
he'd just be excited

I get to work on
the supercollider.

Right, because being happy
for other people

is where he shines.

A supercollider?

Well, you can't say no to that.

I give up.

Ooh, can you get me
a bumper sticker?

Did you know Dr. Sturgis
was taking a new job?

What job?

He went to work on some
supercollider in Waxahachie.

What do you mean "went"?

He's already there.

When did you hear this? He just called.

I was counting on him
to be there for Sheldon.

Well, you'd think he would've
mentioned it to me.

Sheldon says it's okay with him,

but I would certainly
feel a lot better

if there were adults there
that I trusted.

Nothing on the
answering machine.

He's just a little boy,
and he's gonna be

on that big campus
all by himself.

I mean, I know
we're not dating anymore,

but I thought
we were still friends.

Excuse me.

I think you're focusing on the
wrong part of the story here.

He's little, you're worried.
Please continue.

That sums it up.

Okay.

Missy.

[groans]

What?

Help me with my clothes.

Burn them and get new ones.

Please, it's
freshman orientation.

I want to make
a good impression.

Fine.

Which bow tie says
mature enough to be in college

but whimsical enough
to discuss which came first,

the Higgs field or the photon?

They both say
weird kid who eats alone.

Come on.
I know you're concerned about

what you'll wear
to middle school.

[sighs] Show me again.

The blue one. Plaid's too busy.

Thanks.

Or don't be the kid
in a bow tie.

This is not the day to go crazy.

My son, the college freshman.

I can't believe it.

How can you not believe it?

You had to sign
my vaccination form.

Right.

So, what do you
want to do first?

I was thinking we could
start at the bookstore,

try and beat the lines.

I agree about the lines,
but what do you mean "we"?

I mean you and me.

This is my first day.
I can't be seen

walking around campus
with my mommy.

Well, it's only orientation.

Yes, and I'm quite capable
of handling everything

that I need to get done today
on my own.

I'm sure you are.

I just figured,
with Dr. Sturgis not around,

it might be nice if I could be.

No one else's mother
is going to be.

You don't know that.

Well, I know mine isn't.

[sighs] You might want
to watch the attitude

to the person who's
driving you there.

Not all the way there.

Drop me off a block away
so no one sees us together.

Sorry, I am not leaving you
alone your first day.

Yes, you are.

For someone going into college,

you are acting very childish.

Maybe it just appears that way

because you see me
with my mommy.

Oh...

Boy, I remember putting one of
these together for Georgie.

It is great having
y'all next door.

Did you not hear me yelling
at Georgie last night?

It's okay. I'm sure
you'll hear our little one

crying soon enough.

Missy was a crier.

Sheldon just learned
to talk and said,

"Father, I have soiled myself."

Well, he's a miracle
in his own way.

Oh, you just put a positive spin
on everything, don't you?

Kind of goes with
the pastor territory.

Okay.

What if I said

Mary and I have not had

a real vacation
since we had kids?

I like to believe
starting a family

will be the most rewarding
adventure of all.

You're good. [Chuckles]

You could not be more wrong,
but you're good.

["I'm Free"
by The Soup Dragons playing]

♪ Freedom

♪ I'm free to do
what I want... ♪

Can you show me where
the used physics textbooks are?

Follow me.

Normally I would prefer
a fresh new textbook,

but my father is a high
school football coach.

Which is another way
of saying we're poor.

Here you go.

♪ I say love me

♪ Hold me...

Who owned this, a werewolf?

WOMAN [over radio]:
Let's talk about the weather.

It's going to be
a beautiful sunny day today

with temps reaching
a high of 97.

Gross.

In other news, President Bush
will be traveling to Waxahachie

later this month
to visit the site

of a new supercollider.

Scientists are hopeful this
willlead to exciting discoveries

in the world of part...

[knock on door]

What?

You said you'd show me
how to hot-roll my hair.

Oh, right.
You still want to do that?

You're cranky.

So maybe I shouldn't be putting
hot rollers on your head.

Meh, you're always cranky.
Let's do this.

SHELDON:
Not so bad.

I would have highlighted that.

And someone drew genitals.

[pop music playing quietly
over speakers]

Oh. Mrs. Cooper?

Oh, hi.

Sam.

Yes, of course.

Oh, from, um,
Sheldon's physics class.

How are you?

Oh, I'm-I'm good. Yeah.

What brings you here?
[chuckles]

Sheldon's freshman orientation.

Oh, sure.
Mm-hmm.

You didn't want to go with him?

I did, but, uh,

he made it very clear
that he did not want me

anywhere near him today.

Well, I don't know Sheldon well,
but he can be a little...

Rude, obnoxious, condescending?

Oh, hey, I do know him. [Laughs]

[chuckles]

So are you just gonna sit here?

Uh, well, just until it's time
to drive him home.

Well, I can show you
around campus.

No, no, that's okay. Yeah, no.

Come on.
I'll buy you a school shirt.

[chuckles]: Oh, he would be
mortified to see me

wearing one of those.

That's why I'm offering.
Let's go.

[chuckles]:
Well, yeah.

[laughs]

Wow, you're really getting
this together fast.

I feel like I'm nothelping
at all. Oh, come on now.

You cut those oranges
into nice little wedges.

I do it for the kids
at Sunday school.

They go to town on 'em.

Did you feel ready
before Georgie was born?

Absolutely.

Boy, was I wrong.

Why? Getting nervous?

Well, if I can't get
a crib built on my own,

how am I gonna be
responsible for a human life?

Ah, you'll figure it out.

And no sense in worrying
about it 'cause you never know

what kind of curveballs
will come your way.

The doctors could tell us
we were having twins,

but they couldn't warn us
we were having a Sheldon.

You don't think I'm gonna...? Oh, no.

They broke the mold.

But...

you could go the other way
and have a Georgie,

so... some terror is called for.

♪

[sighs]
If you highlight everything,

you highlight nothing.

Uh-oh.

Young man,
don't move these books.

I have a system.

How's it look?

Cute.

Why are you here?

I ran into Sam.

Yes, you're a person I know.

Hey, aren't you supposed
to be getting your I.D. photo?

I got a little waylaid. Can I help?

No, everything is
perfectly under control.

And take off that sweatshirt.
You don't go to school here!

See?

Worth every penny.

[chuckles]

Stay calm. You can make it.

Aah!

Honestly, who drinks
a Slurpee at 11:00 a.m.?

Will this make me look older?

Definitely.

But not like you older, right?

Right.

You still dating
that Marcus boy?

Sort of.

He went away with his family
for the summer.

Just out of curiosity,

before he left,
did he let you know?

Mm-hmm.

Hmm, interesting.

And how long before he left
did he tell you?

I don't know, a week.

Hmm, must be nice.

You hear from him at all?

Yeah, he sent me
the cutest postcard.

It was a turtle
surfing on a dolphin.

Adorable.

Pulling kind of hard.

I made it! I'm here! [Panting]

Fill this out and sign the...

Um, there's a bee on you.

What?

Hey, Sam.

Can I help y'all find anything?

Oh, we're good. Just showing
my friend around campus.

Oh, you a new student?

Oh, actually... Jason, this is Mary.

Ah, well, hello, Mary.

Allow me to welcome you
to our school.

Thank you. Uh, you know, my dorm

is doing a back-to-school
barbecue this afternoon.

Y'all should swing by.

Sounds fun.

Cool.

Braden Hall,
in the courtyard, 1:00.

See you there.

Sweet, free food.

Who cares?
He thought I was a student.

Okay. Smile.

SHELDON:
Just take the picture.

[camera clicks]

ADULT SHELDON:
I had suffered some setbacks.

But just as Edison
had forged ahead

on electric lighting
without the help of Tesla,

I was going to make it
through orientation

without the help of my mommy,

even if she did make
boo-boos stop hurting.

While I had found inspiration
courtesy of Thomas Edison,

it was soon replaced with
anger at Whitcomb L. Judson,

inventor of the zipper.

[scoffs] Oh, come on.

What do you think?

I think you're gonna be
a little heartbreaker.

I don't want
to break anyone's heart.

I just want to look hot.

Well, that you do.

Thank you.

And there's nothing wrong
with breaking some hearts.

If you don't do it to them,
they're gonna do it to you.

Why would they do that? Because sometimes

men do things without thinking
how it's gonna make you feel.

Marcus wouldn't do that.
We're friends.

That don't mean nothing.

You think somebody's
your friend,

then they just up and leave
without a word.

But Marcus told me.

[mocking]:
But Marcus told me.

["Batman Theme" playing]

ADULT SHELDON:
Like Batman's utility belt,

my briefcase was equipped
for any emergency.

♪ Batman...

I don't know if the Bat-pants
had a zipper,

but if they did, I could fix it.

♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba...

Oh, dear.♪ Batman!

Two months!

Two months
till this baby comes!

There's so much I thought
I was gonna do in my life.

I'm sure you've
done plenty.

Nothing cool.

Look at you.

You played football
and rode a motorcycle.

Well, you save people's souls.

That's neat, right?

Oh, it's neat as neat can be,
but you know

that's not
what I'm talking about.

[sighs]

Look, being a dad doesn't mean
your life is over.

It just means it's different.

Instead of playing football,
I get to coach it now.

I mean, high school football.

Not college like I'd hoped.

I-Instead of a motorcycle,
I drive a truck.

To work every single day.

To pay the bills.

[sighs]:
Oh.

Endless bills.

What happened to my life?

Orange wedge?

ADULT SHELDON: With only seven minutes
until my freshman orientation seminar,

I was in a sticky spot.

Thankfully, I was armed
with an even stickier solution.

♪

Ah, you made it!

Hey.
Hi.

Hey, guys,

this is Sam and Mary.

[crowd cheering, whooping]

[chuckles]:
Well, aren't y'all friendly.

DEAN: We are so excited
to have you here today.

This is the most competitive
year we've had for admissions.

So you should feel really good
about your accomplishments.

You belong to an elite group
of scholars...[door bangs]

[grunting]

[door closes]

I may not look it,
but I'm the future of physics,

so just move on.

You have kids?

Three.

You look amazing!

Oh...
Two of 'em are twins.

I don't want to brag,
but natural birth.

Whoa.

I love college.

[laughs]

[engine starts, revs]

♪

John.

STURGIS: Dear Connie, you may have heard

I've taken a job at the new
supercollider in Waxahachie.

I wanted to tell you
in person, but, uh,

I was afraid you'd be upset.

And, honestly...

I was even more afraid
you wouldn't be.

Oh, John.

STURGIS: This also gives me
an excuse to use my astronaut pen.

I'm not upside-down,
but if I was,

it would still write. [Laughs]

[motorcycle approaching]

How you doing back there?

I've never
felt so alive!

Praise the Lord!

JEFF:
Let's go to Mexico!

Captioning sponsored by
CBS

WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

and TOYOTA.