Young Sheldon (2017–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - A Rival Prodigy and Sir Isaac Neutron - full transcript

Previously on Young Sheldon...

I've been corresponding
with Dr. John Sturgis

at East Texas Tech.

He said I could audit
his course.

I'm John Sturgis.

Sheldon invited me to dinner.

Spaghetti and hot dogs
is delightful.

You're only here temporarily?

That's the plan for now,

but I could be enticed to stay.

I do believe there
was subtext there.

Did you pick up on it?

Okay. I'll see you later.

Are you sure
you don't want to stay with me?

I don't think so. I don't really
understand this stuff.

That's how I felt
when we watched Dirty Dancing,

and I stayed.

When Patrick Swayze
takes his shirt off in here,

I'll be back.
You have a good one.

Hello.

Hi.

Who are you?

I'm Paige.

I like your bow tie.

Thank you.

You seem awfully young,
Paige.

Are you with an adult
who's taking this class?

No. Dr. Sturgis heard
about my research

on quantum chromodynamics
at high temperatures

and invited me
to audit his course.

Is that so?

Yes. He's been super nice.

Interesting. Well,
just so we're clear,

he's my mentor,
he's my meemaw's boyfriend,

and he had spaghetti
and hot dogs at my house.

The spaghetti
goes on the hot dogs?

No.

You realize
this is a very advanced class.

We'll be discussing

deriving nuclear physics
from the quark model.

Do you know if he'll be doing
a full color octet calculation

with matrix manipulations?

I do not.

Do you know how to differentiate
under the integral sign?

No.

Well, do you know anything?

I know you're in my spot.

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

How old are you?

I'm ten.

I'm ten, too.

When's your birthday?

February 26th.

March 17th.

I'm the youngest person
in this class.

That's funny.

Oh, good.

I see you two have met.

I'm younger than him.

How come you never mentioned
she was coming to this class?

I thought it would be
a fun surprise.

I don't like surprises.

Neither do I.

Then why did you do it?

Some people like surprises.

I love surprises.

Did you enjoy this one?

- Yes.
- A 50 percent success rate.

Not bad. Let's get started.

Not since sharing
a uterus with my twin sister

have I been so unhappy
sitting next to someone.

♪ Taking it slow ♪

♪ And Lord, don't you know ♪

Awful quiet back there.

I'm having an emotion
I'm unfamiliar with.

Hmm. Think it might
have something to do

with your new classmate?

It's possible.

She's the only variable
in the social equation.

So what are you feeling?

My face is hot,

I have a knot in my stomach,

and I'm resisting the urge
to kick your seat right now.

I'm thinking it
might be jealousy.

No, that's not in my nature.

All right, let's go through
all the emotions.

I'm looking at your face,

so I'm gonna rule out happy.

Are you sad?

No, there's too much anger
in there.

Oh, well, maybe you're angry.

No, there's too much sad
in there.

Maybe you got a little crush
on her.

Do you want me
to kick your seat?

I don't know, Moonpie.

I'm still thinking
it might be jealousy.

Give me one reason
why I would be jealous.

Well, Dr. Sturgis
means a lot to you,

and now he's paying
attention to somebody else.

You're used to being
the only smart kid around,

and now there's another.

Oh, and there's
the possibility...

I said one reason, thank you.

♪ Yeah... ♪

Hello?

Hello, Mary.

This is John Sturgis,

Sheldon's professor
and your mother's lover.

Hi. And "John"
was more than enough.

I was calling because there's
a new student in my class

who's Sheldon's age.

No kidding.

Her mother wondered if I could
put you two in contact

since you have so much
in common.

Oh, of course.

Excellent.

I'll give you the number
when you're ready.

Um...

I am ready.

409-356-6049.

John?

Yes?

That's my number.

So it is!

This is so exciting.

Don't you understand
what this means?

Rather than me feel dumb,
how about you just tell me?

These are parents
we can actually relate to.

- Yeah, sure.
- All the times we wonder

if we're doing right by Sheldon
or how to handle him,

we finally have someone
to compare notes with.

There's notes?

I've just been winging it.

- I'm gonna call her right now.
- Sounds good.

Oh, thank you, Lord,
for connecting us

with the parents
of another special child.

You kids are special, too.

Do you feel special?

At least
I'm the only daughter.

You got nothing.

And she's such a know-it-all.

Yeah, you mentioned that.

I'm surprised her
arm wasn't sore

from raising her hand so much.

Yep, sure.

And who goes to college
with stickers

on their notepad?

I don't know.

Unicorn stickers.

And we're home.

Hey, Shelly.

Guess who's coming
over tomorrow?

Your new friend Paige.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

Come on, Shelly. Maybe
you'll end up being friends.

I don't like her,

I'm not going to like her,
and Tam is my friend.

I don't need another one.

You can have more
than one friend.

I'm sure Tam
has other friends.

No, I'm all he's got.

And even I avoid him
half the time.

Also, you don't have
any friends.

Why are you so worried about me?

I have friends.

Then how come the only person
who ever comes over is Meemaw?

Because...

Okay, this isn't about me.

So Paige didn't make a
good first impression,

but that can change.

What's that new Star Trek show?

Next Generation?

When that first came on,
you said a new Star Trek

without Dr. Spock
could never be good,

but I've seen you watching it.

Well, first of all,
it's Mr. Spock.

Dr. Spock writes books
about babies.

My apologies.

And second of all,
Paige isn't a TV show.

She's a person, and we all know
how I feel about people.

Okay, look.

You're right.

I don't have many friends,

so I was hoping
to get to know Paige's mom.

But if it makes you
uncomfortable,

then I will call her
and cancel.

I'll think about it.

Thank you, baby.

Guilt and jealousy
in the same day.

I slept hard that night.

Mmm.

Did you know that there's a type
of vanilla flavoring

derived from the anal glands

of the North American beaver?

That seems like a fact
you could have shared

before we started eating.

It isn't used very often.

I understand it's difficult
to, uh, milk the little sacs.

Cool. Okay, new topic.

Let's talk about Sheldon.

Wonderful. What about him?

He's having kind of a hard time
with the new girl in your class.

Really? Why?

He's jealous of the attention
you're paying her.

Well, she's remarkable.

You see that? Less of that.

But I think
he's remarkable, too.

Perfect. More of that,
less of the other one.

Understood.

See, this is why
we're great together.

You teach me
about social etiquette,

and I teach you
about beaver anuses.

It is magical.

Did you know "ani"
is also acceptable

as the plural of "anus"?

And the magic continues.

Must have been most
difficult for you to share.

The thought
of spending an afternoon

with Paige seemed excruciating,

but I wanted
to make my mother happy.

I was torn.

The release of emotions,
Mr. Spock,

is what keeps us healthy...

emotionally healthy, that is.

Luckily, the wise
words of Gene Roddenberry,

flatly delivered
by Leonard Nimoy,

resolved my dilemma.

That may be, Doctor.

However, I have noted

that the healthy release
of emotion

is frequently very unhealthy.

I realized if Mr. Spock
could rise above his emotions

while the fate of the
Enterprise hung in the balance,

certainly I could tolerate
Paige for a few hours.

I'm not watching this crap.

Why do I listen to you?

Tony, this is going
to help you choose a major.

This test is designed
to help you focus.

I know, but what if it
says all I'm good at is...

What are you doing?

Suppressing my emotions.

Oh, yeah? Suppress this.

Hot dogs.

Vulcans use
a technique called Kolinahr

to suppress their emotions.

Sheldon,
they're here!

Obviously, I wasn't a Vulcan.

So I did the next best thing:

Took my feelings
and shoved them down so far

they may have been lost
forever.

Hi, Sheldon!

The release of emotions,
Mr. Spock,

is what keeps us healthy.

Dr. McCoy was an idiot.

Well, you just have
a beautiful home.

- Thank you.
- Can I interest anyone

in something stronger
than iced tea?

Oh, well, I'll take a beer
if you have one.

Don't worry.
He's personally keeping

the Lone Star Brewing Company
in business.

They did send me a belt buckle.

Be right back.

So, Barry, uh,
Linda tells me

- you're a dentist?
- Uh, yes.

I have a practice up
in Jasper.

Uh, Paige actually does some
of the bookkeeping for us.

That's so funny.

Sheldon does our taxes.

- Oh!
- Yeah, we used to pay her

in stickers,
but this year,

she actually started
asking for money.

Well, don't let Sheldon
hear that.

We pay him in binder clips.

He loves being organized.

Boy, does he.

We can't go to the grocery store
without him making sure

that all the labels
are facing the right way.

Oh, the stock boys there
are always so happy to see him.

- That's adorable.
- Well,

it wasn't adorable
when we redid our shower

and he wouldn't use it 'cause
two of the tiles were crooked.

He took baths
in the sink

until we got it fixed.

So does Paige do
any quirky stuff like that?

- No.
- Not really.

Oh.

Now, since we'll be spending
a few hours together,

I've created a list of
activities to keep us occupied.

We'll start with
a tour of my room,

then board games,
and if time permits,

you can look at
and not touch my trains.

Oh, My Little Pony.

I love My Little Pony.

That's my sister's,
and it's not part of the tour.

I share a room
with my sister, too.

It's super fun.

You're wrong.

Now, over here, we have my desk.

This is my computer.
That's my mouse.

This is my printer. This is the
paper that goes in the printer.

This is a box of extra paper

that also goes
in the printer.

And this is my signed picture
of Professor Proton.

Do you watch his show?

No. I don't
really like it.

You don't?

I think he's boring.

And he dumbs everything down.

Come on,
Kolinahr, don't fail me now.

And next on the tour,
we have...

a lamp.

This is not
making me feel better.

Their kid is perfect.

And so is ours.

So we're lying to
each other. Fine.

It's just nice to get to know
another family

who's in a similar situation
as us.

And we're still lying.

What grade
are you in?

Eighth.

You?

Tenth.

Cool.

Nobody asked, but fourth.

Why do grownups do this?

They love to stick random kids
together

and expect them
to just be friends.

I know. I hate that.

Fresh Prince is right.

Parents just don't understand.

I love that song.

I have a
cassette of it,

but I recorded it off the radio.

You can hear Sheldon
in the background

saying stuff
about Sir Isaac Neutron.

Ugh, my sister's
always talking about him.

I don't know why.

I think he's dead.

You have no idea
how much it sucks

to have a brother
like him.

Believe it or not,
he's in my class.

My parents sent Paige
to a private school.

Cool. We're too
poor for that.

Does Sheldon
make you feel stupid?

Nah, I'm smart in other ways.

Me, too.

Hey, I saw an old TV
in the alley.

Want to go throw rocks at it?

- Cool!
- Hell yeah!

Let's do it.

We could play traditional chess.

Or if you're interested,
we could play a variant

with a new piece I invented.

That sounds fun.

What's the new piece?

A wizard.

The wizard cannot be taken,
and at any point,

he can teleport and switch
places with any other piece.

Yes, but there's
an obvious flaw.

- What flaw?
- Well, any time anyone is checkmated,

they can simply have the wizard
and their king switch places.

So the game will never end.

I knew that.
You passed my test.

We told Paige
that if she won

the regional spelling bee,
she could get a puppy.

We ended up with two,

'cause she won twice.

Fun! That... that's fun.

All right,
that's enough about Paige.

So, George, I know you're
a football coach.

What about you, Mary?

I work part-time at the church.

- Oh.
- Oh, that's so nice.

I used to work at the
practice with Barry,

but I had to quit
once Paige's schedule

- started to get busy.
- Mm.

Well, that's understandable.

A unique child
can require a lot of attention.

Mm. Try all
the attention. Hmm?

- Okay. You know that's not true, Barry.
- Well...

She's...

she's right. It's not.

Although I did spend
Father's Day alone

'cause she took Paige
to a robotics show.

Okay. That's
enough, Barry.

They don't need
to hear all this.

That's okay.

That's why
we're getting together,

you know, talk about
this kind of stuff.

Barry, it sounds like
you might be feeling left out.

Oh.
No.

Sometimes I do.

And it's not just me.
It's Erica, too.

Oh, now he's just
being dramatic.

Erica gets a lot
of attention,

and she's just a joy.

Dang it, the
screen won't break.

Bet it'll break
if we blow it up.

I love her.

Fine, you're right.

Erica's doing just great.

Nothing to worry about there.

Oh, come on.

You got any matches?

Be right back.

While she's gone,
you want to make out?

Sure.

You actually believe
in the multiverse theory?

Very much so.

It's the most elegant
interpretation

of quantum mechanics.

So you really think there are
an infinite number of universes?

Stephen Hawking believes it,
so, yes, I do.

Well, if there are
an infinite number of universes,

I think that theory's dumb
in all of them.

This is fun.

I don't get to have
discussions like this

with kids at my school.

Do you?

No.

Do you ever wish you were
just like everyone else?

Not at all.

Me neither.

I love being smarter
than everyone.

Me, too.

I started
to think that Paige and I

might have more in common
than I thought.

Maybe my mother was right.

I really did just need
to get to know her better.

Checkmate!

You lose.

Red alert.

Phasers stand by to fire
on my order.

Guess that makes
me the smartest.

I don't know
if ten-year-old Spock

ever flipped a chess board,

but ten-year-old Sheldon
sure did.

You know Paige
always comes first...

Got to say, I'm glad
we invited 'em over.

Don't you get him another beer.

Come on. You love this
and you know it.

They're as messed up as we are.

Fine. But one more
and that's it.

- Whoa!
- Yes!

Holy crap!

Don't you...
Go out there and check!

Now, does anyone know
what happens to quarks

when we combine them
to make mesons and baryons?

Yes, Paige.

We can ignore
the particle masses

at the individual quark level.

Correct.

You are really...

He's jealous of you
paying attention to her.

That was correct, Paige.

And, Sheldon,

is that a new bow tie?

It is.

Lookin' sharp!

Thanks.

That was a close one.

As I was saying,
the only...