Wynonna Earp (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Blood Red and Going Down - full transcript

Wynonna must figure out why a bus full of sexy strangers have arrived in Purgatory.

Previously on "Wynonna Earp "...

Bulshar...
My husband's true name.

Waverly! It's coming.

Please don't hurt us
and don't ever cross a mother.

Did you give our daughter
a name?

Her first name is Alice.

No one said parenthood was easy.

It's time to grow up.

Fine, you were right.

Bulshar's back.

Now what do we do about it...



Mama?

I can't believe we're back here,
of all places.

She knows what she's doing in there.

Right?

Ever since her and Doc
gave the baby up

- she's been...
- Determined.

Relentless.

I've never seen her so... focussed.

Yeah, she's probably fine.

- And drunk.
- So drunk.

C'mon, Wynonna.
Don't Earp this up.

♪ Like a brown-eyed belle
from the deep deep south ♪

♪ That was the whiskey.
That was the whiskey ♪

♪ Well that girl might have looked
a helluva lot like me ♪



♪ But don't believe
everything you see ♪

♪ That was the whiskey. ♪

That's how you Earp it,
girls and boys!

You don't even like
the Dragunov.

You said "it lacks grace".

I don't need grace.
I need steely, Soviet precision.

I believe I had a beer!

Yeah, a beer's not
the only thing you're missing.

Right?

She's completely lost
her baby boobs.

You know, I'm taking the night off!

Don't you clowns ever take the night off?
Oh, I get it.

You've had a rough year, eh, Wynonna?
Shut up.

I heard it died.

I said shut your dirty revenant mouth.

All it took to break the heir
was a freakin' pregnancy.

Well, I'm not pregnant anymore.

Hey, you got a runner.
I've also got a gun.

Was that the Dragunov? Nice.

Yeah, "Soviet precision"?
You barely grazed him.

- Wow, so competitive.
- So cocky!

Yo! PDA!

Focus!

- Welcome to the Dollshouse.
- Your spine.

Boom!
I'm gonna make you eat that!

How rude!

He's a vegetarian.

We did it!

She did it.

I'd ask about Bulshar
and where he is, but...

Get bent.

Get dead.

I'm starting to think

these revenants don't know
where Bulshar is.

We'll find him. We have to.

Boys...

we got the Ghost River Triangle
under control.

Stupid Pussy Willows!

Lonnie, you been holding that
radar gun in your lap all night?

Boy, did you wanna have
a family someday?

Whoa.

Hold that thought, son.
We got a live one.

We didn't even clock 'em.
Heads up.

Jó reggelt.

Is this the Ghost River Triangle?

Well, I suppose that would depend
on who's asking.

Your master.

Aren't you going to invite us in?

Of course, masters.

Come on in.

It's about time
we had some vampires up in here.

Oh, buck up, Lonnie.
You're gonna miss the party.

Morning, Waves.

Morning, bonus blankets.

You sleep OK?

Yeah.

I had the weirdest dream
that you were married.

Really? Because I had a really weird
dream that you were making out

with a hot revenant
in a hot tub.

That sounds like a nightmare.

It really was a nightmare

fighting with you.

Yeah, but...

The making up part...

Yeah, well...
It was pretty good.

- Wait. Wait, one sec.
- No.

- One second.
- Waves, no.

No.

The barn door's open.

Was she out there all night?
Oh, God, again?

Hey.

Go.

Hey, Sherriff.

What?

- Hit me.
- I have been.

You fight like you're 180 years old.

I'm 166.

Then move like it, Grandma.

There you are.

That's it?

No sasparilla soaked clapback
about my form?

My form that I worked my arse off
getting back into shape.

You look great.

Almost like it never happened at all.

Have you two been at it all night?

Training all night?

This is not healthy.

Even superheroes need sleep.

Well I doubt Bulshar's out there
tucked up in his jammies, so...

Well I think we haven't seen
hide nor hair of him for...

four months? 19 weeks.

It's been 19 weeks.

I have to go open up the bar.

Earps.

You OK?

Bruised in all the right places.

That bad, huh?

He won't touch me unless we're training
and he won't talk to me unless he's angry.

So I keep him training and angry.

Doc just needs time.

That's the one thing
I don't think we have.

Breaking this knob gobblin' curse
will help, too.

So we keep looking for Bulshar
and keep sending revenants back to hell.

What else can we do, right?
Keep the faith

about Doc?

He loves you, Wynonna.

We all do.

Hey, sorry to interrupt.
Right? That's my move...

Is it a Black Badge case?
No more Black Badge.

Is it an "us" case?
I'd say it's all hands on deck.

OK, uh... We'll follow you there.

And, we're back at the Pussy.
God.

Can't remember the last time I was in here.
Right?

You were here last night.

Thought that vomit smelt familiar.

You know, Mama used to love this place
back when it was the County Line Saloon.

I used to wonder whether she'd left us
to tour the rodeo circuit full time

with her magical Pegasus, Jellybean.
Jellybean.

Jesusbean!

- Wynonna. Waverly.
- Hi.

What the hell, Nedley?

If you're going for creepy, that
neckerchief takes it to the next level.

It's European. You like it?
I'm trying to make a good impression.

On who? Mr Darcy?

Pride and Prejudice?
Flouncy Netherfield Ball?

It's more of a disco.

You don't wanna be here.
You shouldn't be here.

Why? What's happened?

Whatever it is, we deal.

Unless it's an army of Jason Momoas
that have been cloned.

I will handle that solo.

She's such a giver.
I hope Aquaman is, too.

Nicole's already inside.

You'll see.
And, girls, I promise ya...

They didn't do this.

OK... Good to know.

What's up with him?
Who's "they"?

I guess the shrooms I've been slipping
into his coffee have finally kicked in.

Come on, Emily Bronte.
It's Jane Austen.

There are more bodies outside.

This is new.

Really new. We were just here.

Almost like it's a message

wouldn't you say?

As far as we can tell,
they all died simultaneously.

Stabbed by some sort of serrated blade.

Do you think they were possessed?
Like they did it to themselves?

Then where's the murder weapon?

And who arranged the bodies afterwards?

Arranged?

They've been displayed very deliberately.

In a pattern.

God.

Even for Purgatory, this is bad.
I've never seen anything like this.

I have.

Black Badge Divison's been tracking
these massacres since the 1920s.

Massacres?

They call it the "Cult of Bulshar".

Anyone else up for more vomiting?

Sixteen in total? All employees?

And some vagrants in the alley

and some customers.

But we think it happened
just before opening.

Hold up.
How long have you been working

with Black Badge on this?
OK, it's not like that.

When I first heard the name "Bulshar"

when Faux Mercedes said it
right before you shot the widows...

Yeah I did.
It twigged something in me.

It's like I heard it before so...

I asked Dolls and he gave me
some old BBD files.

Dolls?

Yeah. Agent Xavier Pamela Dolls?

Pretty sure his middle name's not Pamela.

You know what it is?

OK, the "Cult of Bulshar",
as in Bulshar?

I.e. Sherriff Clootie, a.k.a the demon
who cursed our family?

Sweetie, do you know another Bulshar?

I know Wyatt Earp shot him
and had him entombed!

Until his spider wives
and our friend Bobo let him out.

Good times...
No, no, I'm saying that...

Bulshar's been in the ground
for 130 years

he couldn't have
spearheaded a killing cult.

Maybe he had admirers.

More bitches in black
eager to do his bidding?

Oh my God, have you seen this?

Nicole! It's OK.

Hey, come on.
Let's go get you some water.

Revenant, demon

horny flock of Jason Momoas,
come out, come out, whatever you are.

Hey, bud.

If you're looking for your eight seconds
of glory on the mechanical bull

she's currently out of order

due to a hella homicide spree.

Also, there was some puke.

Wynonna's in denial
and training herself to death.

Doc's all sad eyes and quiet mouth
and you

who's usually my rock...

having a panic attack?

Not that it's about me.

Keep it together, Earp.

Earp-ish.

Nicole?

You OK in there?

Mhmm.

You made me pee a little.

Least I'm in the right place for it.

Oh, are you hiding in here?
I don't hide.

I wait.

It's OK, you're...
You're safe now, OK?

You're alive.

Not exactly.

- Did you kill them?
- No.

Are you going to kill us?
Probably not.

Super cool of you.

We need you. As tribute.

You are so beautiful.

And you can't even see it.

Her name's Petra

and she's a vampire.

And I love her.

Right?

Best crime scene ever!

Oh, of course!

Waverly, I gotta jet!

Got one mother of an errand to run.

Fire! Hellfire!

No fire.

Not in here.

Not currently.

I really do miss the days
when you could...

justshootaman
for laughing at ya.

Word of warning:

In this establishment
we do not bother to call 9-1-1.

OK, yeah, it's not One Direction.

Almost shot ya.

The hell you doing in my basement?

OK, I lied, it was One Direction.

But... I'm just...

Tweaking Dolls' drugs.

Yeah.

And if I may say,
although it hurts me to do so physically...

Jeremy.

You look slightly less dapper
than usual.

You still not sleeping?

It is hard to sleep when the demon
who cursed the Earps is still out there.

You ever heard of
male post-partum depression?

It's a thing.

Did you leave
the waffle maker on again?

This is not smoke, it is fog.

Kind of sexy fog.

Vampires?

In Purgatory?

More critically, in my damn bar.

Jeremy, run!

Doc!

Doc!

I am so honoured to serve you, my liege.

Thoughts on Twilight?

Look, I know you told me
not to come back here, but...

we need to talk.

About... him.

So start talking, Mama.

Mama?

So this is what I get?
The silent treatment?

That's real mature.
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't important.

OK, there's been a murder.

Actually, a lot of murder.

Like a buttload of murder.

Think it has to do with a cult.

The cult of Bulshar.

You've said his name to me before,
remember last time?

He put a curse on our family.
No, no.

He put a curse on the Earps.

Oh, great, well you married one.

More the reason I was known
for my big hair.

- And my big...
- Mama...

Wit. And not my big brains.

How are you connected to Bulshar?

The voice tells me things
about him.

Quiet!

I need you now.

Waverly needs you now.

You're gonna get your little sister killed.
I can end the curse.

No!

Mama! Stay down!

It's fine. Mama...

My daughters are off limits,
do you hear me?

Mum!

You sleep half your lives away
and are utterly helpless while doing so.

Amazing you mortals have
survived this long. Well...

I would hate to have missed
whatever this is.

We've been hearing rumours for months

that John Henry Holliday
is back from the dead.

Well, dead feels pretty relative
these days.

What do you want with him?
Doc Holliday is a rogue.

A legend.

He stole, swore and screwed his way
through the frontier.

Guilty as charged.

We think he'd be a wonderful addition
to our little blood-sucking menagerie.

- You wanna recruit me?
- Mhmm.

More like, turn you.

Into what?

You'd get to experience pleasure
you've never even thought of.

- And I know you.
- You know me?

We know Doc is a dilettante

with a taste for,
well, everything.

What's the catch?

I mean, besides finding myself
bound to the apparatus

of an ecdysiast.

You have to prove you're actually him.
And how, pray tell, will I do that?

Endure.

She's clearly over-medicated
or under-medicated.

Hearing voices, that's new.

And why hasn't she had
a parole hearing in eight years?

Because she's batshit crazy.

Michelle insisted she didn't wanna leave.
I want access to all her medical records.

I see no reason to release 'em.

Your mother's sister, your Aunt Gus Gibson,
has power of attorney

whereas you,
her shit-disturbing felon daughter...

is a US ranking marshall

working a cross-border taskforce
at a very high-level government agency.

Who are you?

- My boss.
- Her partner.

So, Warden...

Michelle Gibson's files, please.

A lot of stuff has been redacted.

How long have you known
that Mama was here?

That I'd been visiting?

You tailed me?

I mean, you've been sneaking away
a lot lately.

I thought, you know, because
you needed some space.

After the baby.

I... I thought you'd be madder.

I thought you didn't do dairy.
Sometimes you need a cheeseburger.

What was the official charge?

You don't know what she's in for?
No.

I remember she got taken away
and I remember Daddy ordering us

to tell Waverly
that she'd run off "voluntarily".

Six months later, dear Daddy was dead,
at my hand.

Mama's talked about Bulshar in the past
and now he's back and he's making moves.

Big, bloody moves. Yeah, maybe.

But these massacres have been happening
for years before without him.

There was someone at the scene...

He did not look like a choir boy.

- So Bulshar has help.
- So do I.

Earp...

Wynonna...

Talk about a full meal deal.

Vampires. Of course,
eventually it would be vampires.

What happened to
"Doc Holliday was a legend"?

Legends get tested.

- Please.
- Please?

Are you pleading?
I'm telling you I do not want this.

I don't care what you want!

Fine, we'll take a break.

Besides, there's no way my kin will believe
this quivering mass of boy

is Doc Holliday.

So...

You came all the way to Purgatory
for me?

Uh, please.

We came for the show
to observe when he takes his power back.

- Bulshar...
- Shh!

He's not to be trifled with.

Everyone must pay him fealty

- if they plan to...
- Endure.

Me and my team
aren't going anywhere.

Teams are for children and stickball.

You'll all be separated.

The old ones, he'll take for his purposes.
Old ones?

And the rest?

Vampire chow.

You'll find you have underestimated the
gumption of the people of this territory.

And myself, yet again.

Again?

Oh come now, this whole set-up
feels awfully personal.

Intimate, even.

I'm starting to wonder
if we are not friends.

Since when does Doc Holliday
care about friends?

Countessa?

And you're still an asshole!

What the... fog?

Sexy fog.

Please be a surprise Rihanna concert.

Fire up the Jeep!
We gotta warn everyone

they're responsible
for the murder buttload.

What? Who?
Vampires! I just took one out in the barn.

Nobody told me Taco Tuesday
was now a formal affair.

You guys, she bitch-stabbed hot Kamen!
What? He was so hot!

Why isn't she glamoured?

Are you?

When are humans
gonna stop their rampant prejudice

against vampires,
who are the best?

- Oh!
- Right now.

Ha! Nice one, babe.

Shall we finish the job?

I am keen to impress my liege, Ebbe.

Liege? Yeah, that can't be right.

But we can't kill Wynonna.
We love Wynonna.

Well...

And we're not allowed to hurt her,
remember? Petra said so.

- So what do we do?
- Easy.

We get her ready
and then we deliver her...

in that.

I am so proud of you, Sheriff.

You're gonna be such a good vampire.
You, son, are gonna be delicious.

Oh, come here.

How long has that slinky little number
been hiding at the back of your closet?

Well, I was saving it
for our one-year anniversary, but...

this is so much more important.

This is royal wedding level.

And we're here...

together, for now.

I love you, Waverly Earp,
and nothing will ever tear us apart.

But, if it has to be something,
at least it's hot European vampires.

Totally.

But I don't think
I can watch you get eaten.

Be a victim.
I've never been a victim.

I'm a survivor.
No, I'm the survivor.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Kšszšnšm.
Please enjoy yourselves this evening.

One way or another,
it will be your last.

You may not realise it

but this place you call home
is special.

Haunted, yes.

But also blessed.

It is a tragedy that this triangle
has been wasted

on you ranch dressing,
smothering masses of flesh.

Though we appreciate the obvious
efforts you've made

to fatten yourselves up.

Do you think he's nearly finished?
My spanx are riding up.

The good news is...

he will return to save this place.

And we are here to watch him do so.

Ha ha ha!

Ooh! You went bowtie!
You gotta rock out with your knot out.

Hey, where's Wynonna?

I kinda promised Ebbe
that I knew her.

Hey!

- Oh, so cute!
- Yeah.

I think we're getting
to first base tonight.

Oh, no, no.

Oh shit!

That was more cramped than
the canoe I lost my virginity in.

We're in the basement
of the Gardner house.

I really hope it was Waverly who dressed me
but the gloves scream Jeremy.

There are vampires in Purgatory.
Yeah. There are.

They tried to attack me in my truck
but then I got away.

Got away how?

Rest of our friends and the whole town
are under some sort of spell.

It's like with one touch
they can control them.

It's like they turn into
vampire-loving groupies.

I spent a month on tour
with Nine Inch Nails, I get it.

But guess what?
We can kill them. With this.

Nocturnal Exsanguinator Clearance?
Black Badge issued my NECK kit

first day in division,
never had a chance to use it.

Until right now!

"Kill the vampire
who's glamoured a civilian

and the civilian will return
to their senses".

We're gonna need more stakes.

"Let's Shake" by Arum Rae.

Waverly called me the guest of honour.

You'd better make
one hell of an entrance.

It is time.

Everyone who is a descendant
of the original Purgatory families

those who lived in terror under Bulshar
when he was Sheriff Clootie

and then stood by

as Wyatt Earp and Robert Svane
shot and entombed him -

please make your way
into the VIP area.

What do I do? I'm not really an Earp.
So? They don't know that.

Hey! Could I pass for an Earp?

Probably not.

This isn't right!

VIPs will be offered

up to Bulshar himself,
as a tribute.

For him to do with what he may.

The rest of you are for us...

to eat.

I'll tell you what you can eat.

A dick.

I beg your pardon?

You heard what I said.
Don't make me say it again. Please.

Darling, how do you expect
to defeat Bulshar

when you can't even resist us?

Hold that thought, Vengabus.
Waverly, who's your favourite vampire?

I gotta go with Petra.

How could she choose just one?
Dolls!

Holy Holy water!

Earp!

Hey, sexy.

Dolls!

Get out of our town!

Purgatory is for the living... mostly.

You will serve us. Protect us.

Always.

Ooh, treasonous.

Does that mean there's an opening
on the VIP roster?

That's my girlfriend,
you blood-sucking bitch!

Damn straight!

Speaking of your godawful moustache,
when's the last time you saw Doc?

Dunno.

John Henry Holliday,
the greatest gunslinger that ever lived.

I will not get ate

while tied to a stripper pole.

Hopefully.

God.

It's all gone to shit.

They're killing everyone out there.

You're free.

And bleeding.

It is you.

What have they done to you?

What I don't want them
to do to you.

Whatever happens, stay here.

Countessa!

You'll never take the shot.

You don't have it in you anymore.

No wonder Wyatt left you to die.

I never could abide your taunting.

I did come back for you.

The plasma parfait was a bust.

Don't worry.

I'm fine.

No, not Ebbe!
I think he actually liked me.

Wait, why is Doc shirtless?

- Hey, you OK?
- I am now.

Nice form.

Very nice.

I'm still getting back into it.

Psst, looks like you forgot one.

Shoulda stayed in Sweden, Abba.
I am from Hungary.

- Hungary for a di...?
- Wynonna.

You know Bulshar.
Do you know what he did to my family?

An endless curse.

All whom Wyatt Earp killed
rise from the dead as revenants.

And his chosen descendant
hunts them down

again and again.

Elegant. Bulshar's wrath will not be.

Why is he here?
To finish what he started

over a century ago.

I will die before I tell you anything else.

Well, that will be up to him.

No. No, I can't face him empty-handed.

Well then give him this from me.

And do let him know I'm coming for him.

You really are a stupid girl.

Least I'm not "over" like vampires.

Oh, and also,
we're keeping your stripper bus.

Bulshar... Master... We had them.

The old families, the originals.

But the Earp slag, Wyatt's heir,
got in the way.

There are many ways
to serve Bulshar.

You will show others the path.

Whiskey, neat.

God, it feels good to say that again.
I bet.

- Even if it is 10am.
- Oh.

It's never a wrong time for whiskey

except when there is none
at your disposal.

To another day...

on God's green earth

spent fighting, no less.

To victory in the face of vampires.

To Alice.

Always.

What's gotten into you?

Something I thought was lost.

Well, welcome back, Holliday.

And the townspeople?

Nedley's on it.

Well, if my head's any indication

they'll get foggy on the vampy details
of what happened soon enough.

How did it feel
to get glamoured?

Mhm, warm.

Yeah, tingly.
Like peeing in the shower?

In the barn, when Kamen attacked you,
you didn't get...

Nothing.

Did Peacemaker protect you?
Maybe.

You two? What happened?

Nothin' I ain't seen before.

Petra tried to glamour me
at the truck...

my truck, multiple times, but...

But you are basically a dragon
so you aren't susceptible to her charms.

Yeah, something like that.

- More booze for everyone.
- Not for you.

You have to drive Waverly home.
You have something to talk about.

- Right?
- Do I have a choice?

You always make the right one, Earp.

Most of the time.

C'mon, baby girl.
I'll explain in the truck.

Oh, thank you.

- Nicole's still working?
- Yeah.

This one really shook her up.
Hmm.

Hmm, burning the breakfast oil?

Good morning, Vietnamese?

How's it going?
Hard to complain when they can't.

Look at them.

They didn't even see it coming.

Yeah, it's tough cases like these,
cases where there are no survivors.

That's just it, Dolls. I'm...

I'm starting to think there was
a Cult of Bulshar survivor once.

And it was me.

You're pregnant.

Hell to the no.

Colluded with Russia to steal an election?

Nye t.

Oh, you lost my limited edition
sparkle Ugg slippers?

Check your feet.

Whatever Dolls says,
I trust you, Wynonna.

You'll tell me when you're ready.

It's about Mama.

What about Mama?

A prison pass?

Wynonna, look out!

"Darkness Falls" by Margaret Lewis.

No! There's another one!
My sister's in there!

No! Wynonna!

Wynonna! No!