Workin' Moms (2017–…): Season 6, Episode 5 - Jazz Addict - full transcript

(knocking)

[♪♪♪]

(latch clicks)

Sloane! Oh my god,
are-are you okay?

What happened?
What's wrong?

I'm having a hard time
sleeping.

Okay.

I don't know if it's
the hormones talking, but...

Can I hold your kid?

You know, the smaller one?

Ella? You talking about
my two-year-old?



Sure. Yeah, I just...

Feel like I need a little
bit more practice.

Maybe I can feed her.

Uh, sorry, it's uh,
it's not even 5 A.M., so...

Totally, I just, I feel
like I need to warm up

on the bag a bit before
I get back in the ring.

My-my kid being "the bag."

Uh, why don't we just make
an afternoon plan,

you know, regular hour,
park playdate, something.

Mommy.

(laughs) Hi.

Right on cue.

(sighs)

[♪♪♪]



(Ella laughs)

Come on in.

[♪♪♪]

(sighs heavily,
doors slams)

Infancy through one
I understand,

and six-year-olds
I kinda get,

It's this in-between
I need help with.

That's quite a lot
of in-between.

Hey, Ella...

Fetch!

Did you just say "fetch?"

(Ella giggles)

That's what I'm talking
about!

Oh my god.

(Ella giggles)
- No, no, Ella, "fetch" means

- you bring it back.
- Bring it...

(blows raspberry)

Bring... how do you get 'em
to come back?

I clearly haven't trained
her well enough.

Look, you guys hang out,
right?

I'll go take a shower,

more opportunity for you
to learn the in-between.

(laughs) I'm not
a babysitter, Kate.

I have to get ready for work.

(Sighs)

All right,
you two have fun.

[♪♪♪]

*WORKING MUMS*
Season 06 Episode 05

Episode Title: "Jazz Addict"
Aired on: February 01, 2022.

Hey, Nathan Jr.,
are you ready to go?

(sax squeaks, jazz plays)

(plays runs of notes)

(sax squeaks)

Good lord!

Wow, that is loud.
Hey, what are you doin', man?

We gotta go!
We're gonna be late.

Oh, I uh, was making
a video...

for someone.

Who are you recording
yourself playing the sax for?

No one.

Ohh, okay.

I know that face, are you
doin' this for a crush?

(gasps)

You're makin' a sax tape!

Gimme a taste, I want
to hear it.

(scoffs)

(sax squeaks, notes play)

Mm-hmm. Mm.

(sax wails, squeaks)

Yeah, wow.

You've got lungs on you,
I'll give you that.

(laughs)

(sax wails, sound cuts off)

It's a medley of some
of my favourite riffs.

- Is it?
- Do you like it?

Uh, yeah, uh, you-uh...

you know what I'm thinking?

This is maybe not the exact
way to go about it.

Because not everyone
likes jazz.

Bingo. Yeah.

It's just, it was a big
part of my plan.

What if, just go
with me here,

what if you were to let loose?

Let your guts take the wheel!

Get out of that head
of yours!

I mean, when I play
the sax...

no offence, I'm trying
to get you away from that sax

- and into some trouble.
- But I already got in trouble

for the panic attacks,
and the locket,

And the honey slippers.
- Honey slippers? What are...

I don't even wanna know.

I'm not talking about your
mustache twirling schemes,

I'm talking about some
regular, young,

dumb teen boy trouble.

- How do I do that?
- Come on.

Meet two of the dumbest
teen boys I know:

Jacob and Joseph.

Not sure which one's which,
and it doesn't matter.

What does matter is that you
show my Nathan Jr. here

the time of his life.

Get him out of that head
of his.

No matter what it takes,
don't let me down.

You get in some trouble.
- Not too much trouble.

Isn't that your jewelry
appraiser?

- Uh-huh.
- Hello.

- What's in it for us?
- What are you guys into, huh?

Cash? Dirty mags?
Beef jerky?

Well, uh... we can confuse
her, we can get them all.

Ready? Three, two, one.

- Jerky... damn!
- Jerky. Damn!

- Beef jerky.
- Cash.

Yeah, cash, probably
the cash.

Thank god. No dirty mags.

I'd really rather
go to school,

I don't want to fall behind.
- Listen to me, okay?

This is gonna be good for you.

Trust, one day won't kill you.

You know, boys, you could
learn a thing or two

from Nathan Jr. Here.
He's very clever.

You wanna get your dick wet?
We can get your dick wet.

That's definitely doable.

(sighs) It's just a saying,
it's not...

boys, what did I say?

Jacob and Joseph: Dry dicks.
- Dry dicks only, yeah.

Kate, you know, I think
this is a really good idea.

You know, as long as they
don't go full tilt.

Great point, listen to me.
Half-tilt Max, okay?

Question.
Can we kick ducks?

No, absolutely not.

And no dogs, either.

It's okay, you'll find
your groove with this.

Can we go in the sewer?

I mean, you could go
in the sewer, I guess.

Can we do a tough-guy
photoshoot?

- (gasps) Or wild west!
- Uh, yeah.

Sick. Easy.

All right, listen to me,
nothing illegal,

just have a good time.
Loosen him up, all right?

You're gonna have a great
time, look at me.

Relax, okay? This is going
to be good for you.

You're gonna thank me
for this, all right?

Half-tilt Max.

- And dry dicks.
- Yeah. Yeah.

[♪♪♪]

(cars rumble)

[♪♪♪]

You're right, I've never
thought of that before.

Heather, I see you've met
my daughter, Alice.

Please, come on in.

Hi, Dr. Carlson,
I'll be right there.

Sorry?

It's just I was
in the middle of getting

some really great advice
from your daughter here.

You should be very proud.
- Oh, I am... Proud.

Yeah, it's just that
our hour starts now, so.

Oh, I don't mind.

Okay, no problem.
Hmm.

Alice, please confirm those
afternoon appointments asap,

and change the garbage,

Preferably before it stinks
next time.

- Oh, mom?
- Yes?

Would you mind closing
the door?

Of course.

Jenny: Hey, fucko-fiancé!

I was just doing some reading
about honeymoon destinations.

What are you talking about?

You don't want to go
on a vacation to prove

- how married we are?
- No! No.

But I did punt some meetings
so that we can go to city hall

- and get this thing done today.
- City hall?

Gross, I'm not getting
married there.

Who cares where we get
married, it's all bullshit.

Right, but no one's going
to buy that you or I

had a city hall wedding,
look at us.

We're too hot.
- Okay, hold on.

Are you saying that only
ugly people get married

at city hall?

What I think is that we need
to do something

that looks really real
if we want to keep our jobs.

(pensive exhale)

Okay, yeah, whatever
"really real" means,

- we'll do that, I guess.
- Yes.

Yes, I believe this
is the best for optics.

Good day.

[♪♪♪]

So just to be clear,

Goldie doesn't know about the
book that's going to Bury her.

Correct.

And nobody knows about
the double-dipping?

Well, Sloane doesn't want
to know, and as for Goldie,

She's in our rear-view.
- Oh! Too bad.

I mean, good riddance.

Uh-huh. The good news is,
we can finally focus

on Rebecca's book, which
is gonna be huge, press-wise.

I thought we agreed for
good news, we get champagne.

- What? Richard!
- What? I'm just saying,

there's a way of doing things
and a way of not doing things,

- so...
- (phone vibrates)

Ooh! It's Goldie!
I mean...

(scoffs) what does she want?!

Wait! She does not know
about the book.

No, no, no, no, I mean,

she implied she was gonna get
"to the bottom of it,"

but those are just the words
of a rejected client, so.

Kate, are you sure?
(phone vibrates)

She's not gonna get
to the bottom of it.

(taps call on)
- Hey, Goldie!

Goldie: So I figured out your
"conflict of interest," honey.

What?

You see, Kate, what I can't
wrap my head around is...

How are you gonna publish
a book without an author?

Wait, what do you mean?
(call beeps off)

Goldie?

Okay, we need to get Rebecca
back in here now!

- She ran you off the road?!
- Yeah!

I was on my bike, next thing
you know, I'm in an ambulance,

I'm lucky that this is
just a sprain.

And-and you're sure
it was Goldie?

- (scoffs)
- Did you have your helmet on?

Were you in the bike la... were
you listening to headphones,

because I see these bikers
doing that,

oblivious to the world and I'm
like, you better watch out,

because I'm gonna...
I wouldn't, but they could,

if you think about it, they're
asking for it a little bit.

What? No, it was her,
I know it.

The car pulled up,
window rolled down,

- she locked eyes with me, Kate.
- Jesus.

How does she even know
about this book?

I've been so careful.

Uh...

I might be able to explain
that, um...

(nervous laugh)

There was a, there was an
extremely,

extremely brief amount of time
that I represented Goldie's.

You what?!

This is before I knew what
companies were in your book,

and the moment I found out,
I took action.

I didn't say anything
about the book,

I just said I had a conflict
of interest, nothing specific,

And I was out...
- Well, there you go!

You sounded the alarm. Wow,
brought down by my own P.R.,

that's... you know what?
I'm done.

No-hey, hey, hey, look.

We can figure this out
together, I will come up

- with a plan...
- No, we can't!

Because honestly, I don't
think I'm cut out for this.

This is some scary shit, and...

- it's too much, I'm done!
- Hey...

(footsteps recede)

Well, again, I'm sorry
our session was so brief.

But I do hope you feel
a little bit lighter.

Uh-huh, thanks.
Alice!

I'll call about booking a time
with you next week.

You can't actually book
with her,

Because she's not a doctor.
- Well, whatever,

Let's do this again.
- Of course!

Have a great week.
- You too!

Okay, Heather, bye,
take care.

Man, she is a tough nut
to crack.

No wonder her students
don't respect her.

That doesn't sound
very psychiatrist-y.

I mean, I think being
a substitute teacher

is really hard.

Kids can be pretty mean,
actually.

- What did she say to you?
- What did she say to you?

Come on, doctor/patient
confidentiality.

Ditto.

Now, will you excuse me
while I go change

your disgusting garbage.

Not a doctor!

I want you to be my maid
of honour.

Congratulations.

I'm sorry, what?

Oh! This is about your sham
wedding to MCP

- that Gary won't shut up about.
- It's not a sham, Gena.

Okay, but aren't you guys
getting married

so you don't lose your jobs?

Why is everyone saying that?

Because you only got engaged
when you got caught by H.R.!

That may be true,

But that was just the little
extra push we needed.

Right.

Look, mcp is totally
obsessed with me,

and we're not having
a huge, amazing wedding

And popping out a baby
for H.R.

- You're pregnant?
- Oh my god, gena, keep up!

So, will you or won't you
be my maid of honour?

Yeah, yeah, it's every
woman's dream

to be a maid of honour,
right, so...

And is this not both
your second weddings?

Yeah, so?

I'm just saying, you know,
you've done all the things,

- so most people don't want all-
- I don't know what this

has to do with anything,
can you just listen?

Mm-hmm,
that's a great start.

So, your responsibilities
include: Bridal shower,

bachelorette party,
obviously a baby shower too.

Mm-hmm.

Why aren't you writing any
of this down?

Okay, I'm gonna go get
my notepad.

This is happening,
this is actually happening.

Gary! Ohh fuck!

What do you want?

To remind you that outside
this little charade

you're running, you still have
an actual job to do.

I need that report by end
of day.

I don't work for you.

You'll get that report
when it's goddamn ready.

And don't let that door
hit your flat ass.

Wow, I wonder what H.R.
Would think

- of that little comment?
- Fuck off, Gary!

You can't curse at me,
okay?!

I sent you four memos.
(seething exhale)

[♪♪♪]

So-wait, you just let
your daughter say that?

What do you mean, "let" her?

I mean, you didn't punish
her or even try to stop her?

Or stick up for your poor
boyfriend when she repeatedly

called him "this bitch"
to his face?

I thought she was supposed
to be "running her own train."

- (frustrated exhale)
- Oh!

Okay, Cindy, we have
20 minutes left, if you...

You are so much different
from your book.

I-I don't think this
is working for me.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that,

I think we're just at a little
impasse, so it...

respectfully, I did not
come here to be scolded.

I get enough of that
from my god-awful daughter,

which you were supposed
to help me with!

- Cindy, Cindy! That's exact...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bye, Cindy! Thanks!

You know, in my experience,
you're really supposed to

listen to them without
judgement.

Oh! Oh, in your whole five
minutes of experience?

Please, yeah, enlighten me.

Oh, hi, you. Great.

Hi, Anne, I'm here
to collect...

I know, my piss. Listen,
I have a full day,

I did it an hour ago,
it's in the desk.

You know I can't accept
an unobserved sample.

- I think you can, Tanya.
- Tina. And no, I can't.

Come on, it's still warm.

I need fresh pee,
those are the rules.

There's no free show today,
you creep.

Alice, hand me my sample.
- I'm not touching your pee.

Like I said,
I can't take it anyways.

Look, I don't have time
for this, take it!

Alice, give it to her!
- I won't.

- I can't.
- Oh my god,

I'll just do it myself! Jesus
Christ!

Do you want my piss or not?!

I am just trying to do
my job!

Well then, take it!
(pee splashes)

(container clatters)
- Mom!

[♪♪♪]

Anger management, Lionel,
can you believe that?!

This clown thinks that I need
professional help.

She's sending me to a class!

Huh. Right.

Wow.

And I can't see any more
clients until I get

some stupid sign-off from
some stupid, know-nothing

Anger management bozo!

God!

(spray bottle hisses)

Lionel, hello?!
Are you hearing this?

Lionel?
- Uh, yeah, yeah.

Um, here's the thing.
Okay, sweetie...

honey, uh,
love of my life,

Well, uh...

- Say it.
- I don't feel safe.

So help me god, Lionel,
if you don't say it...

okay! Uh, well,
the thing is...

Careful, now.

I'm having a lot of trouble
navigating these waters.

- Say it!
- Okay, yes, I can believe it.

That you were sent
to anger management.

I can believe it!
It's no shock.

Ex-fucking-scuse me?!

[♪♪♪]

Thank you for coming
back in, Rebecca.

I'm only entertaining this

because Sloane offered me
private security,

Which I can't even believe
I'm back here.

Well, come on in, there's
a couple people in here

- we'd like you to meet.
- Sorry, what's going on?

Rebecca,
meet Thomas Sherman,

who had to enter witness
protection to finish his book

Exposing big pharma.
And gilda Miller here,

who dealt with multiple
death threats

after blowing the whistle
on police corruption.

And we can't forget
Solana Singh,

had her name dragged through
the mud when she took on...

- farm unions.
- Yeah, I read your book in school.

Wow!

So what's it gonna be,
Rebecca?

Because when we first
sat down,

you said helping the victims
was on the top of your list.

Sloane: Finishing this book
is how you do that.

Kate: Mm-hmm.
- But then again,

you could always get some job
at a tabloid,

Writing fluff pieces
for the rest of your life.

It all depends on what kind
of journalist you want to be.

Something they know a thing
or two about.

Here, why don't you take
a minute, sit down,

talk to these guys.

- (quiet laugh)
- (sighs)

We'll let you guys connect.

For the record,
as far as alarms go,

That one was worth sounding.
- Noted.

And again, sorry
for the fire.

Well, good idea bringing
them in, nice work.

Now let's see what she
decides.

- Yep.
- (sighs)

[♪♪♪]

Hey, would you call me back?

I'm looking for the weed
we got on the weekend.

Oh my god, Nathan,
this day I've had,

you would not believe it.

Also, where are you?

I swear, if I didn't know
any better,

with all these long hours
you've been pulling,

I'd be getting a little
paranoid! (Laughs)

I'm just kidding.
I'm just-I'm-I'm good,

I'm just messing with you.
Ah! Found the weed.

All right, uh, call me...

I'll see you when you
get home, I guess.

(chuckles)

(paper rustles)

[♪♪♪]

(jazz music plays loudly)

Oh! (Groans)

(groans)

[♪♪♪]

(squishy sound)
Ohhh!

(gasps)

(saxophone plays loudly)

(gasps)

Oh! Honey slippers!
That's what he meant.

Ohh! Fuckin' hell.

Oh goddamnit!

(sighs)

(knocking) Nathan Jr.!

Nathan Jr.: One sec!

(knocking)

Nathan Jr.: Okay,
you can come in.

(loud jazz music plays)
- Honey slippers?!

Look at this shit.
Horrible prank, goddamn...

Don't laugh!
(laughs)

How did you even... ohhh!

You're evil.

Why is it so loud?
Can you turn the horns down?

Oh, sorry.

It's my favourite song.

- This one?
- Mm-hmm.

- Cool!
- Right?

I didn't realize you were
back from your grand adventure

with val's boys.

Yeah, I'd like to never
see them again.

Was it that bad?
Anything to report?

No, um, nothing-nothing
to report, really, no.

Not at... uh, nope.

What are you...

Nathan, what's going on?

Come on.

Jacob and Joseph got me high.
Like, for the first time.

And I'm kinda freaking out
right now,

so if I'm acting weird,

That would be why I'm acting
weird, okay?

Okay.

First of all, you're safe.
Hey, look at me.

You're fine, you're safe,
okay?

And thank you for sharing
with me, very big boy of you.

That's good to hear.
I'm tired.

No, but tell me about it
though, like,

what did you guys do?
What'd you get up to?

Okay, real quick, I guess.

Jacob and Joseph are insane.

Like, I hate them.

But they definitely know
who they are,

which is kinda cool,

And they encouraged me
to be who I am,

which is also cool.

That is cool.

Yeah, I'm a jazz boy,
and that's just who I am.

You're absolutely right,
you're a jazz boy,

and how cool is that?

I'm sorry I was pushing you
to be anything but that.

(sighs)

This song's actually not bad,
I kinda like it.

I mean, the beat, the way
it kinda sneaks up on you,

- just like, wow!
- Aaah!

Oh no, I'm sorry!
Was it that hard?

What is it?

Please promise you're not
gonna freak out.

Oh god.

What the hell is that?

Jacob and Joseph made me
get a tattoo.

They did what?!

(sighs)

Okay.

What'd you get?

Ji-jizz boy?
- Jazz boy!

- Jazz boy!
- Okay, I-I...

I kinda see it.

I-I wish his legs were...
Further apart.

Like I said,
I'm-I'm a jazz boy!

And it's inside me,
and it needs to come out.

Oh boy.

I'm wanna spread it around,
and put it in people's ears.

- You should stop.
- I'm like a jazz addict!

That is... Holy.

Okay, uh, for now why don't
you promise me you're not

gonna share it with that girl
you're trying to impr...

(thud, clatter)

You've got your crush up here
this whole time?

It looks like you did get into
trouble with those boys!

This is good! But she doesn't
have to hide.

I'm cool...
Why am I whispering?

Hey, sweetheart, get out here!

No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh no! Please, no...

what? I...

- Hi.
- Oh!

Oh. Okay.

Please don't tell dad.

I-I won't.

Hi, I'm gonna go.

Lot of information.
All of it fine.

Love is love.

But news, nonetheless.

But... Great stuff.

I gotta wash these slippers!
- Wait, what?

They're full of honey.

Bye guys, you uh...

yeah.

(door latch clicks)

[♪♪♪]

(sighs)

(line rings)

Nathan: You've reached the
voicemail of Nathan foster.

Please leave a mess...

(sighs heavily)

(paper rustles)

(paper rustles)

Uh uh.

Fuck it!

(keys tap)

(line rings)

Cassandra: You've got
Cassandra.

- Leave me a message.
- (Beep)

[♪♪♪]