Wolf Like Me (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript
- Step one.
- Mm-hm.
Cups.
Do you want me to give
you a hand? Are you sure?
No, no. I just need a teaspoon.
Aha!
Yep. OK.
Ta da, teaspoon.
Uh... A little honey.
Honey. OK. Great.
And...
- Do you like honey?
- I do.
OK, tell me when.
Tell me when it's good for you.
- Stop!
- OK.
Did you drink tea before
coming to Australia?
Mmm. Mmm.
Lisa used to complain that
nobody had kettles, back home.
She almost slapped me
because I tried to boil
water in the microwave.
Is this small talk?
Is this what we're
supposed to do now?
Mmm. I guess so?
I guess.
Are we being stupid?
May I? Can I borrow
that for one sec?
I'm just gonna
get the right angle
Hmm...
That's good. Can you
sit up for me a bit, please?
Thank you.
I mean, how are we
gonna tell Emma?
I don't think Emma
will have an issue
with the two of
us being together.
I feel like there's a big
problem waiting for us
around the corner.
A problem with hair.
Can you move your head
a little to the left for me?
Too much. Uh!
Perfect. Just like that.
I don't want her to get hurt.
We won't let that happen.
How do you know that?
Sorry.
Gary. I've never
done this before.
I...
I don't really know what to do.
Can I make a suggestion?
What's the harm in letting
this take the lead for a bit?
- 'Cause I might eat it.
- Mmm.
Why don't we just enjoy
each other's company.
If it doesn't work out, at
least we gave it a shot.
After all...
..a wolf needs a pack.
I didn't know you could do this.
Don't give me too
much credit yet.
Hang on. I just need
one more second...
OK.
OK, usually I have
more time and more light.
But I hope you like it.
What do you think?
- You like it?
- Where are my arms?
Hidden behind
these two giant tits.
Dad still says dumb
things sometimes.
But not as much. It's
like she's distracting him.
And you don't like that.
No, it's fun hanging
out together.
- How did they meet?
- She crashed into our car.
- You were in another crash?
- No.
She was the one
that hit you both.
But last week, Dad
backed into her car,
and we drove into
an Italian restaurant.
YOUR dad drove
into Nonna Loretta's?
Yep.
My wife and I tried to
eat there the other night.
Why didn't you tell me
about the other car accident?
Do you feel threatened by Mary?
It's perfectly natural
to feel as though
Mary is intruding on your space.
I myself have a step-child.
And I had to respect
Tony's boundaries
when I was courting his mother.
It's never an easy dynamic.
But I think, if Mary respects
the pre-existing boundaries
you've set up with your father,
then there...
..there shouldn't be a problem.
Look at Tony and I.
He and I work together.
And I mean that
metaphorically as well as literally.
He has a job here.
It's not working.
What do you mean by that?
I mean this.
Well, you need someone
to help you, Emma,
- and, with your problems...
- I know.
It's just I don't feel that
you're the right
person to do that.
I don't feel safe enough
to be vulnerable with you.
Can you recommend someone else?
Um...
Yes. Yes.
Tony, can you bring
the Filofax in, please?
Don't have the Filofax!
I don't think we can keep
this from her any longer.
We tell her before
the next full moon.
And we bring her back here.
And if it goes badly
and she freaks out,
what does that
mean for all of us?
- We can't think that way.
- We have to.
Things have been...
been so good.
I don't want this to be
the thing that undoes us.
If we keep a secret
this big from her,
she will never forgive us.
The longer it takes,
the harder it's gonna get.
We'll be here with her.
She loves you.
We both do.
Head forward.
- You OK?
- Oh, yeah. I was, um...
I was worried about the cake.
- I can take it.
- Oh, thanks.
I can't wait to meet
your Aunt Sarah.
She's really nice.
Hello, everybody!
Hi! Mary! My god!
It's so good to
finally meet you.
Aw.
Well, we've named her.
Lisa.
You OK with that, Dad?
Yes. Yeah, of course I am.
That's amazing.
- It really suits her.
- It does.
Taco! What the fuck
is wrong with you?
Swear jar!
Well, that was a little unusual.
- Hi, Mary. This is Olivia.
- Hi.
Come on, let's go. Let's go in.
Olivia, fist bump.
Boom!
Did Dad tell you about the trip?
- Trip?
- Yeah. We're going camping.
Next week, for
the school holidays.
- Mm-hm.
- Well, this is new.
Especially for someone
as outdoorsy as you.
It was her idea.
I know that. Where
are you going?
Oh, we're just going to go
somewhere we can see the stars.
I could lend you
our gear if you want.
- We haven't used it in ages.
- Oh, don't worry,
I've got a ton of camping stuff.
- Mary's got everything.
- What am I looking at here?
The vegan ones - well you can tell
which ones they are that's pretty obvious.
The other ones are artisan
sausages from our mate.
He's a chemist. He
makes them on the side.
Hope you don't mind - I'm
gonna give the vegan ones a miss.
I'm craving meat at the moment.
You know what, me too.
Emma told us you were vegan.
Oh, I am, I am.
But you better
listen to your body.
Baby, can you take her?
No, no, no. You guys
eat. Let me hold her.
- Come on.
- OK.
- Going to Uncle Gary...
- Oh, this is delicious.
- Thank you.
- Shh, shh.
Ooh, she likes you.
Yeah, that's only
'cause she's full of milk.
You were always
so good with babies.
I like the vegan ones.
Mummy, I need to go toilet.
Oh, God. Timing.
Ray, can you take her?
I gotta keep an
eye on the steaks.
- I can take her.
- No, Em, it's OK.
No, you really don't want
to get involved in this.
It's fine.
Hey, babe, you
want to have a hold?
Oh, no thanks.
Go on. She's all sleepy.
No, I don't want to
hold the fucking baby.
What's going on?
If all this is too much
for you, I'm happy...
I'm late.
I didn't want to tell you that.
- What?
- Yeah.
I didn't want to ruin today.
Why would it ruin it? How late?
Like, late.
Like, late-late.
- Let's just not talk about it now.
- You brought it up.
But that's because
you kept on asking me.
Right. OK.
Wow, this is a lot to process.
Yeah. Not now.
'Not now' as in, like, not
now at this point in your life?
Not now as in not right now,
right here, at a fucking barbeque!
- Why are you so stressed?
- Because you just don't think anything through!
Is it because we haven't
told Em about the other thing?
- They're the same thing.
- What are you talking about?
What if I bring another
werewolf into this world?
Are you serious? Do
I look like I'm joking?
We'd love it. Whatever it
is, we would obviously love it.
That's so easy for you to say.
But it's true. I mean,
there would obviously
be a lot to take into
consideration, a lot to think about.
You're not the one
that could eat our baby.
You would never eat our baby.
You wouldn't eat our baby!
Why would you eat our baby?
I wouldn't eat it as me,
but what about when
I'm... something else?
You know how
bad I would feel if I...
ate our child.
I'm late, and I'm already
eating artisan sausages
made by a fucking pharmacist.
Just because you
eat meat at a barbeque
doesn't mean you're
gonna eat a fucking child.
Think about how much
you'd resent me if I did.
You've always wanted a family.
It's something I've
always wanted too.
You've already had it.
No. I haven't.
The second Lisa was diagnosed,
it was taken from me.
Don't you think the minute
Emma finds out about me
this family's gonna
be over anyway.
I mean, it's gonna be the thing
that just tips us over the edge.
I thought you were the
one who believed that
the universe throws
things at you for a reason.
I wasn't even gonna tell you.
What are you talking
about? What does...
What does that even mean?
Wait a sec.
Please, babe, this can't...
This cannot be over. This
conversation cannot be over.
- We need to think it through...
- No.
- I can't talk about this now.
- ..all of the possibilities here...
- Not now!
- It's not a foregone conclusion...
Gary, not now. Fuck!
Swear jar!
That was a really bad word.
Mummy, $50!
Jesus! Did Uncle
Gary drop a C-bomb?
- Oh, wow. That is so impressive!
- Look at that!
It's all for you. I don't
have a sweet tooth.
Do I? I usually just make
them for the nursing home.
That's amazing.
Cherries are in season.
Dad?
Dad?
He's not gonna
jump in again, is he?
Sorry. I was... miles away.
Let's dish it out.
- Yum, yes please.
- Here, sweetie.
Thanks Mary.
Yeah, you're nursing, you
can have twice the amount.
Oh, thank you.
I know I don't
need to tell you this.
The difference is
like night and day.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did she talk to you
about anything recently?
No. But it's a good
thing, from what I can see.
Seeing her get this excited about
something as simple as going camping...
It's beautiful.
We've been planning to
tell her something on the trip.
What do you mean?
Are you getting married?
No. No, no, no.
Nothing like that.
Not that I wouldn't.
Then what?
Um... It's nothing.
Gary, don't pull one of those
faces and overthink things.
I know that's hard for you.
Don't fuck this up.
Swear jar.
Come on, guys.
We gotta get going.
Bye! See you, guys.
See you next time, you four.
See you next time, you three!
Bye!
See you! Bye!
Listen, um...
I would never ask you to
do anything you don't want.
I would always protect our baby.
But I wouldn't want to
jeopardise what we have.
Or the family we've
already become.
I can never understand
what your body goes through.
And I never will.
But I do need you to know
that I will always be
there to support you.
The three of us can be a...
..pack.
We make a pretty good pack.
Are you OK?
Watch out for that
step on the way back.
Look at her. She loves it here.
Do you really think
that we should tell her?
I mean, she's so happy.
There's supposed to
be a full moon tomorrow.
Can we stay an extra night?
- No, sweetie.
- Why not?
Well, um...
Well, we've gotta get
back for something.
Hey, bubs... Uh...
Mary and I have something
important to tell you.
Are you breaking up?
No.
You've both been really weird.
It's not that.
Then what is it?
Mary...
Um...
Mary is... is...
Pregnant.
We're gonna have a baby.
- Mm-hm.
Cups.
Do you want me to give
you a hand? Are you sure?
No, no. I just need a teaspoon.
Aha!
Yep. OK.
Ta da, teaspoon.
Uh... A little honey.
Honey. OK. Great.
And...
- Do you like honey?
- I do.
OK, tell me when.
Tell me when it's good for you.
- Stop!
- OK.
Did you drink tea before
coming to Australia?
Mmm. Mmm.
Lisa used to complain that
nobody had kettles, back home.
She almost slapped me
because I tried to boil
water in the microwave.
Is this small talk?
Is this what we're
supposed to do now?
Mmm. I guess so?
I guess.
Are we being stupid?
May I? Can I borrow
that for one sec?
I'm just gonna
get the right angle
Hmm...
That's good. Can you
sit up for me a bit, please?
Thank you.
I mean, how are we
gonna tell Emma?
I don't think Emma
will have an issue
with the two of
us being together.
I feel like there's a big
problem waiting for us
around the corner.
A problem with hair.
Can you move your head
a little to the left for me?
Too much. Uh!
Perfect. Just like that.
I don't want her to get hurt.
We won't let that happen.
How do you know that?
Sorry.
Gary. I've never
done this before.
I...
I don't really know what to do.
Can I make a suggestion?
What's the harm in letting
this take the lead for a bit?
- 'Cause I might eat it.
- Mmm.
Why don't we just enjoy
each other's company.
If it doesn't work out, at
least we gave it a shot.
After all...
..a wolf needs a pack.
I didn't know you could do this.
Don't give me too
much credit yet.
Hang on. I just need
one more second...
OK.
OK, usually I have
more time and more light.
But I hope you like it.
What do you think?
- You like it?
- Where are my arms?
Hidden behind
these two giant tits.
Dad still says dumb
things sometimes.
But not as much. It's
like she's distracting him.
And you don't like that.
No, it's fun hanging
out together.
- How did they meet?
- She crashed into our car.
- You were in another crash?
- No.
She was the one
that hit you both.
But last week, Dad
backed into her car,
and we drove into
an Italian restaurant.
YOUR dad drove
into Nonna Loretta's?
Yep.
My wife and I tried to
eat there the other night.
Why didn't you tell me
about the other car accident?
Do you feel threatened by Mary?
It's perfectly natural
to feel as though
Mary is intruding on your space.
I myself have a step-child.
And I had to respect
Tony's boundaries
when I was courting his mother.
It's never an easy dynamic.
But I think, if Mary respects
the pre-existing boundaries
you've set up with your father,
then there...
..there shouldn't be a problem.
Look at Tony and I.
He and I work together.
And I mean that
metaphorically as well as literally.
He has a job here.
It's not working.
What do you mean by that?
I mean this.
Well, you need someone
to help you, Emma,
- and, with your problems...
- I know.
It's just I don't feel that
you're the right
person to do that.
I don't feel safe enough
to be vulnerable with you.
Can you recommend someone else?
Um...
Yes. Yes.
Tony, can you bring
the Filofax in, please?
Don't have the Filofax!
I don't think we can keep
this from her any longer.
We tell her before
the next full moon.
And we bring her back here.
And if it goes badly
and she freaks out,
what does that
mean for all of us?
- We can't think that way.
- We have to.
Things have been...
been so good.
I don't want this to be
the thing that undoes us.
If we keep a secret
this big from her,
she will never forgive us.
The longer it takes,
the harder it's gonna get.
We'll be here with her.
She loves you.
We both do.
Head forward.
- You OK?
- Oh, yeah. I was, um...
I was worried about the cake.
- I can take it.
- Oh, thanks.
I can't wait to meet
your Aunt Sarah.
She's really nice.
Hello, everybody!
Hi! Mary! My god!
It's so good to
finally meet you.
Aw.
Well, we've named her.
Lisa.
You OK with that, Dad?
Yes. Yeah, of course I am.
That's amazing.
- It really suits her.
- It does.
Taco! What the fuck
is wrong with you?
Swear jar!
Well, that was a little unusual.
- Hi, Mary. This is Olivia.
- Hi.
Come on, let's go. Let's go in.
Olivia, fist bump.
Boom!
Did Dad tell you about the trip?
- Trip?
- Yeah. We're going camping.
Next week, for
the school holidays.
- Mm-hm.
- Well, this is new.
Especially for someone
as outdoorsy as you.
It was her idea.
I know that. Where
are you going?
Oh, we're just going to go
somewhere we can see the stars.
I could lend you
our gear if you want.
- We haven't used it in ages.
- Oh, don't worry,
I've got a ton of camping stuff.
- Mary's got everything.
- What am I looking at here?
The vegan ones - well you can tell
which ones they are that's pretty obvious.
The other ones are artisan
sausages from our mate.
He's a chemist. He
makes them on the side.
Hope you don't mind - I'm
gonna give the vegan ones a miss.
I'm craving meat at the moment.
You know what, me too.
Emma told us you were vegan.
Oh, I am, I am.
But you better
listen to your body.
Baby, can you take her?
No, no, no. You guys
eat. Let me hold her.
- Come on.
- OK.
- Going to Uncle Gary...
- Oh, this is delicious.
- Thank you.
- Shh, shh.
Ooh, she likes you.
Yeah, that's only
'cause she's full of milk.
You were always
so good with babies.
I like the vegan ones.
Mummy, I need to go toilet.
Oh, God. Timing.
Ray, can you take her?
I gotta keep an
eye on the steaks.
- I can take her.
- No, Em, it's OK.
No, you really don't want
to get involved in this.
It's fine.
Hey, babe, you
want to have a hold?
Oh, no thanks.
Go on. She's all sleepy.
No, I don't want to
hold the fucking baby.
What's going on?
If all this is too much
for you, I'm happy...
I'm late.
I didn't want to tell you that.
- What?
- Yeah.
I didn't want to ruin today.
Why would it ruin it? How late?
Like, late.
Like, late-late.
- Let's just not talk about it now.
- You brought it up.
But that's because
you kept on asking me.
Right. OK.
Wow, this is a lot to process.
Yeah. Not now.
'Not now' as in, like, not
now at this point in your life?
Not now as in not right now,
right here, at a fucking barbeque!
- Why are you so stressed?
- Because you just don't think anything through!
Is it because we haven't
told Em about the other thing?
- They're the same thing.
- What are you talking about?
What if I bring another
werewolf into this world?
Are you serious? Do
I look like I'm joking?
We'd love it. Whatever it
is, we would obviously love it.
That's so easy for you to say.
But it's true. I mean,
there would obviously
be a lot to take into
consideration, a lot to think about.
You're not the one
that could eat our baby.
You would never eat our baby.
You wouldn't eat our baby!
Why would you eat our baby?
I wouldn't eat it as me,
but what about when
I'm... something else?
You know how
bad I would feel if I...
ate our child.
I'm late, and I'm already
eating artisan sausages
made by a fucking pharmacist.
Just because you
eat meat at a barbeque
doesn't mean you're
gonna eat a fucking child.
Think about how much
you'd resent me if I did.
You've always wanted a family.
It's something I've
always wanted too.
You've already had it.
No. I haven't.
The second Lisa was diagnosed,
it was taken from me.
Don't you think the minute
Emma finds out about me
this family's gonna
be over anyway.
I mean, it's gonna be the thing
that just tips us over the edge.
I thought you were the
one who believed that
the universe throws
things at you for a reason.
I wasn't even gonna tell you.
What are you talking
about? What does...
What does that even mean?
Wait a sec.
Please, babe, this can't...
This cannot be over. This
conversation cannot be over.
- We need to think it through...
- No.
- I can't talk about this now.
- ..all of the possibilities here...
- Not now!
- It's not a foregone conclusion...
Gary, not now. Fuck!
Swear jar!
That was a really bad word.
Mummy, $50!
Jesus! Did Uncle
Gary drop a C-bomb?
- Oh, wow. That is so impressive!
- Look at that!
It's all for you. I don't
have a sweet tooth.
Do I? I usually just make
them for the nursing home.
That's amazing.
Cherries are in season.
Dad?
Dad?
He's not gonna
jump in again, is he?
Sorry. I was... miles away.
Let's dish it out.
- Yum, yes please.
- Here, sweetie.
Thanks Mary.
Yeah, you're nursing, you
can have twice the amount.
Oh, thank you.
I know I don't
need to tell you this.
The difference is
like night and day.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did she talk to you
about anything recently?
No. But it's a good
thing, from what I can see.
Seeing her get this excited about
something as simple as going camping...
It's beautiful.
We've been planning to
tell her something on the trip.
What do you mean?
Are you getting married?
No. No, no, no.
Nothing like that.
Not that I wouldn't.
Then what?
Um... It's nothing.
Gary, don't pull one of those
faces and overthink things.
I know that's hard for you.
Don't fuck this up.
Swear jar.
Come on, guys.
We gotta get going.
Bye! See you, guys.
See you next time, you four.
See you next time, you three!
Bye!
See you! Bye!
Listen, um...
I would never ask you to
do anything you don't want.
I would always protect our baby.
But I wouldn't want to
jeopardise what we have.
Or the family we've
already become.
I can never understand
what your body goes through.
And I never will.
But I do need you to know
that I will always be
there to support you.
The three of us can be a...
..pack.
We make a pretty good pack.
Are you OK?
Watch out for that
step on the way back.
Look at her. She loves it here.
Do you really think
that we should tell her?
I mean, she's so happy.
There's supposed to
be a full moon tomorrow.
Can we stay an extra night?
- No, sweetie.
- Why not?
Well, um...
Well, we've gotta get
back for something.
Hey, bubs... Uh...
Mary and I have something
important to tell you.
Are you breaking up?
No.
You've both been really weird.
It's not that.
Then what is it?
Mary...
Um...
Mary is... is...
Pregnant.
We're gonna have a baby.