Wiseguy (1987–2009): Season 3, Episode 18 - Hello Buckwheat - full transcript

- [Frank] Tonight on Wiseguy.

- He's gone, he
snapped, he took my car.

Can you track him?

- He's out of the car.

- I just called, it was busy!

- Well, it's off now,
Frank, I can't track him!

- He can't run out on me.

- I'm disappointed in
somebody I thought I knew.

- We're on a conference
with Terranova's lifeguard

and McPike.

- The issue is Vinnie.



- You want me to pull the plug?

- It's done, Frank.

- He's gonna avoid us
as long as he wants to.

- Forget him.

- You owe me and I'm
calling to collect.

- Hello, Buckwheat.

(hard hitting
orchestrated music)

- [Lifeguard]
Previously on Wiseguy--

- Am I gonna find out somethin'
you don't want me to know?

- Probably.

- He's a cop.

He was the best
backup I ever had.

- They bought it, you're inside.

- Murderer!



Murderer! (sobs)

- Stem's completely lost it.

I want you to take charge
of the investigation.

- Those two deputies were
whacked by a serial killer.

- Then I took 'em
down to the road

to the Columbia River
and we did a blonde.

41 girls.

I just plain feel crappy.

It's all crap, isn't it?

(taser crackles)

Hm?

(furniture rattles)

(electricity crackles)

- Vince?

- [Vince] No more, Frank.

No more.

I have no authority here.

You have no authority here!
- Vince!

- [Vince] There's holes
in the ozone, Frank.

- [Frank] Vince!

(moody acoustic guitar)

Vince!

- What's he doing?

- He stole my car.
- Why?

- I don't know why.

- He can't run out on me.

- He's upset.

- He's supposed to
be a hard ass cop!

He's seen dead people before!

What?

- You're right. I need a car.

- You're not running out on me.

He just ran out on me.

My sheriff just killed himself!

I need someone to keep
this town sedated.

Play ball with me, I'll
make it worth your while.

Name your price.

- For God's sake, Mark.

- Look what he did
to those women.

To his own men.

Oh, Stemmer.

Stemmer.

He was a tormented soul.

I never saw it.

I never took the time to see it.

- Listen to me, do
you want my help?

- Yes, yes, whatever it takes.

- I need a car, I
need it right now.

You, get me the keys
to this vehicle,

do it right now.

(concerning music)

(truck starts)

- Donny.

Go get Doc for me.

(pensive music)

(beeping)

(busy signal)

- [Roger] I've been
oxidizing for two years,

you have no idea how rusty I am.

Vince, don't do this to me.

- This is a collect call.

You owe me and I'm
calling to collect.

- [Roger] But
McPike, Lynchboro--

- Just say yes.

- [Roger] All right,
yes, I'm on my way.

(beeps)

(concerning music)

(phone rings)

- Logged 0600,

three, 12, 90.

Report center five.

- Oh-one-two-nine.

- [Lifeguard]
What's wrong, Frank?

- Vinnie's gone, he's
snapped, he took my car.

Can you track him?

- Yeah, I'm searchin' now.

(typing)

How bad is this?

- Stemkowsky confessed
to the serial killings,

then he electrocuted himself.

- [Operator] The mobile
customer you have called

is away from the phone
or is traveling--

- He's out of the car.

- He can't be out of the car.

- [Lifeguard] Well, he
turned the cellular off then.

- I just called, it was busy!

- Well, it's off now, Frank!

I can't track him.

Can you find out who
he was talkin' to?

- Yeah, but it's gonna
take a couple hours.

What triggered Vinnie?

(horn honks)
(tires squeal)

- How 'bout you just drive
wherever you want to, you ...

(sighs)

It's the second time he's seen
a man electrocute himself.

(sighs)

- (sighs) You want
me to pull the plug?

- No, I do not want
you to pull the plug.

Something's about to
break with Volchek,

but we have to track Vinnie.

He went away mumbling
about holes in the ozone.

- If I classify him
as a rogue agent,

I mean, even a rogue
without malice,

his dossier is gonna spit
out at every regional office.

- I know it.

- He's been in therapy,
he's been committed--

- That was a malicious
and an illegal act.

- It's on the record, Frank.

A regional director reads this,

and he's gonna bet
on a worse case.

- I'm authorizing it, Uncle.

You put whatever addenda
on it to explain it.

It's for his own good.

- It's your call, Frank.

I wasn't there.

(light piano music)

(concerning music)

- We're on a conference
with Terranoa's Lifeguard

and McPike.

- [Paul] Frank?

- [Frank] I'm here, Paul.

- We found your car at the
Seattle airport 15 minutes ago.

There was only one departure.

It would have landed in
LAX about an hour ago.

- He's not on it.

- I know.

Now what are you going
to do about Volchek?

- The issue is Vinnie.

- It's done, Frank. Forget him.

- Frank, Vinnie's hip
to what we're doin'.

He's gonna avoid us as
long as we wants to.

- And we get on with
our lives, gentlemen.

Do you need
additional man power?

- Just a second.

Vince?

- Hello, Buckwheat.

- Oh.

Paul, I'll be all right, thanks.

- [Paul] Frank? Frank?

(dial tone)

(phone rings)
- [Woman] Motel operator.

- Operator, can you tell
me what time the bar opens?

- [Woman] Not until noon, sir.

- Noon.

- It's noon somewhere.

When we drink through
this, we'll let you know.

- You won't be rowdy, will you?

- We're not celebrating, ma'am.

We're having a wake.

(sighs)

You got a pretty sick
puppy on your hands, Frank.

(pouring)

- How?

- We never lost touch, Frank.

I know he let you think
that I was dead, but--

I know he gave you a
large part of the money

I left him for your
wife's liver transplant,

and I know that she and her
new liver left you, Frank.

- I'm sorry you're here already.

- Me, too.

But I owe you both.

You're the cashier, Frank,

you let me know when
the debt's satisfied.

- Let me tell you
something, buddy,

you can leave any time you want.

(dishes clatter)

I know how devastating it was

to have two men
electrocute themselves

in front of his face.

- That's a bromide, Frank.

- No, no, let me
tell you somethin'.

It's not a bromide.

I was there, I was
there both times.

I had to swallow
the urge to bolt,

to say I can't take it anymore,

I want to get the
hell outta here,

but I signed on to do the job.

- I signed on, too.

- It is not the same
thing, Buckwheat!

You were so immersed in it,

you couldn't see the
men that you followed

were morally corrupt,

and they sacrificed you on
the altar of their corruption.

Well, there are no
morally corrupt men

manipulating Vinnie Terranova.

He didn't wake up one morning
and say it's wrong-headed,

he woke up and said, "It's ugly,

"I don't want to
look at it anymore."

Well, I think it's ugly, too,

and I don't wanna look at it!

But I'm doin' it
because I said I would.

There are people
that depend on me,

and I'm not talkin' about
the men I answer to!

I'm talkin' about the men I
work with shoulder to shoulder.

I have a loyalty to them that
transcends my own comfort.

- Sound sort of angry, Frank.

- I'm more than angry,

I'm disappointed in
somebody I thought I knew.

He understands what's
righteous and loyal.

And I miss him!

(glass shatters)

I miss him.

(scoffs)

I miss my friend.

And I'm worried about him.

(sighs)

- Wonder if there's any
BB King in that jukebox.

(jukebox rattles)

I understand how
you feel, Frank.

(buttons click)

I'm not here as council
for his defense.

No excuses, no justification.

But as little as he may care,

he cared enough to call me,

to call in the marker.

I'm here to help you, Frank.

You're not gonna find
anybody better than me

and you know it.

The only codicil I
come with is my name.

(R&B music)

I live with it.

I don't hide from the past.

I'm not seeking the
limelight, but I am who I am.

You can't tell your
superiors about me,

but you can't lie
about it either.

(chuckles)

I get recognized
every once in a while.

Not often, but every once
in a while I hear, uh,

"Aren't you that guy
who testified on TV?

"Didn't you used
to kill people?"

And I say, "Yes.

"Yes, I did, and I
did for Uncle Sam,

"but I don't do it anymore."

That's just my cross to bear.

That's what I come with, Frank.

You want me?

It's your move, Buckwheat.

- [Movie Man] Oh, it's
good to see you again,

my homicidal friends.

(thunder crashes)

(dramatic music)

- [Movie Woman] My
dear Sir Robert,

I am married now, as you know,

and live in Gorslava
with my husband,

the Baron Sardonicus.

The Baron has expressed
a desire to meet you.

Indeed, it is most urgent to
my well being that he meet you.

Most urgent, most urgent,

most urgent.

- Sir Robert Cargrave?

- Yes.

- I am Baron Sardonicus.

My name was not
always Sardonicus,

and I did not
always wear a mask.

- Yes, the lottery!

The lottery winners!

- The lottery?

- Yes, you see here?

There is a number, and
there's your father's name.

And next to it, you see
the number seven, seven,

zero, seven!

- [Sardonicus] He
was buried in it.

- [Robert] The lottery
ticket was in the pocket.

(creaking)

(screaming)

(dramatic disorienting music)

- [Baroness] Did you get it?

(sobbing)

Was it bad?

Are you all right, my darling?

(sobbing)

Is something wrong?

Wait, I'll light the candle.

(dramatic music)

(screaming)

- [Robert] Merciful God.

- [Sardonicus] Ever since
that night, Sir Robert,

My face has been
as you see it now.

A replica of my dead father's.

- We are investigating a subject

who is obsessed with this film,

and the question before us

is what is the message in this
film that attracts him to it?

Mr. Jeffery Lyons,
noted film crim critic,

has graciously
contended to give us

the benefit of his expertise.

Jeffery.

- This film was made by William
Castle in the early 60s.

He specialized in
schlock entertainment.

A little shock, a little horror.

But underneath, it's a
simple morality play.

Sardonicus bends to his greed,

he defiles his father's grave,

and he pays the price.

But it's the fog and
the cheap effects

that give this film its charm.

They take me back to
Saturday matinees.

Life was simple, so were movies.

- I miss simple.

- I think we all do.

If your subject is
of my generation,

then we endured the traumas
of Vietnam and Nixon.

We had enough dark
complications.

Maybe it's the simple
good, clean fun

of Mr. Sardonicus that
attracts him to it.

I don't think you
can over estimate

the pleasure of nostalgia.

- Thanks, Jeff.
Appreciate your help.

- Happy to do it, Paul.

(door closes)

- The subject's name
is Mark Volchek.

He basically owns the town

and county of
Lynchboro, Washington.

We have a case that is about
to blow up in our face.

The agent on point went
section eight and vanished.

Fortunately, his
supervisor Frank McPike

had been introduced to Volcheck

as a corrupt federal
investigator,

so we have an in.

But unless Frank can
move on it immediately,

we might as well fold up shop.

- How dangerous do you
deem Volchek to be?

- It's uncertain.

The original agent
led Volchek to believe

that he had killed an
18 year old boy for him.

Volchek reacted with
a degree of fear,

but he still maintained the
relationship with the agent.

So we believe he is
capable of violence,

but not predisposed.

A side bar issue is that
we are holding the boy

that he believes is
dead in a safe house.

But we can't do it forever.

- Sardonicus and Krull have
a master-slave relationship.

Does Volchek have a
similar relationship?

- He did with the
Sheriff of Lynchboro

that committed
suicide yesterday.

- Hm.

Well, the loss will
have created a void

that Volchek may want to fill.

- He asked me to fill it.

- In the film, Sardonicus has
a morbid disdain for women.

- Well, there's a brothel that
operates openly in Lynchboro,

and it's obviously
funded by Volchek.

- What about Volchek's
relationship with his father?

- His father's dead.

He has no immediate family
and we don't know much

about the Volcheks
except for the fact

they've run Lynchboro
for 100 years.

- The window to
Volchek's personality

is his family history.

More background on
them would be necessary

for us to thoroughly evaluate
his relationship to this film.

- Paul, I can't stay
here any longer.

I have to get back, I'm sorry.

- All right, let's
take a few minutes.

I have three men being flown in.

Interview them and pick one
to help you on the case.

Paul, I have established a
relationship with Volchek.

I don't think it's a good idea

to spring somebody new on him.

- That isn't the
way we do things.

- I'd like to
handle it by myself.

Besides, Lifeguard's gonna be
setting up shop in Seattle.

- What aren't you telling me?

- Paul, will you please let
me handle this in my own way

just this once?

- All right, Frank,
it's your call.

- I appreciate it.

- Stop!

No!

(sobs) Not the leaches again!

(laughing)

- [Krull] Not so bad.
(door unlocks)

(chuckles)

You see, you're a very--

- This is great.

Frank, you gotta knock me
off a couple of copies, huh?

(chuckles) It's great.

(laughing)

- You know, I don't
know why I'm doing this.

- Because you signed
on to do the--

- Shut up.

(chuckles)

- I take it we're workin'
together again, Frank.

- You know, I think the
only reason I'm buyin'

into this situation
is the off chance

that Terranova will
come to his senses.

And I don't need some
straight-laced agent up here

making judgements on him
if he does come back.

- He's not comin' back, Frank.

- Did you read Volchek's file?

- Yeah, yeah.

Another fruitcake.

- All right, let's go.

(door opens)

- Come unto me
all you that labor

and are heavy laden,

and I will give you rest.

So rest our brothers
Telsa and Chemausky

in the kingdom of the Lord.

Brother Rogocheske?

- There's a festering
disease here.

And that disease
is self-loathing,

complacency, the
fear of independence,

and the reliance on one family

to determine our destiny.

- This is supposed
to be a eulogy, Rogo,

not a political platform.

- [Man] Let him speak!

- There are people
in mourning here.

- This is not simply
an attack on you, Mark.

- It's inappropriate
in the presence

of grieving widows and children.

But since you're
bound to continue,

and there are people here
who seem compelled to listen,

at least grant me the
courtesy of allowing me

to leave this chapel
before you do so.

You have my deepest condolences

and my financial support.

No one would have
ever talked like that

against my father
or my grandfather.

They ran Lynchboro
with an iron fist!

I'm generous. What
does it get me?

Abandonment!

Stemmer, Kozak,

McPike abandons me!

The town!

- Well, I'm here, Mark.

- Yes, but the town, the town!

- The town is just coming
to grips with itself.

Look at you.

You're falling apart!

You let Rogo usurp
your position.

He doesn't have
the tools to lead.

He's just capable of rousing
the rabble into a frenzy!

But when he's got 'em there,
he doesn't know what to do.

- Yes.

Yes, they do need
me, don't they?

- Only if you're strong
enough to lead them.

(rumbling)

- [Steven] McPike!

McPike!

- I'm in here!

(door opens)

- You came back!

(pats back)

- I said I would.

This is, uh, Roger Loccoco.

- Roger.

- [Roger] How ya
doin', Buckwheat?

- All right, listen,
if we can work some--

- Oh, this is Lacey,
it's all right.

- No, it is not all right.

- Come with me, come with me.

Just up the stairs
here to the right.

- [Roger] Hiya, sweet
thing, how's tricks?

- [Lacey] Just fine, big boy.

- I am a federal agent, I
have an image to preserve.

The only way I can be
here is under the pretense

of mopping up the investigation
about this serial killer.

Loccoco has to be
your front man.

- You can't drop him
in my lap and leave me.

- I'm not dropping
him in your lap,

but I can't be two
places at once.

Now what I'm telling you is I'm
giving you two sets of eyes.

Loccoco can be sheriff and
keep a check on things,

and I can be an
unofficial observer

to advise you from time to time.

- All right, yes.

This makes sense.

- But first I gave
to know what it is

that you're trying
to accomplish.

- There's a lot
of money involved.

- Before we talk about money,

I have to know what
I'm gettin' into.

- You know, if you
just step back, honey,

I could get out of this thing.

- (chuckles) I know.

But I kinda like
you where you're at.

- (chuckles) Okay.

(sighs)

I wonder what our two
titans are talking about.

- The hospital.

Nothing's more important to him.

- It's a life sustaining
edifice, Mr. McPike.

700 rooms of mercy.

- There are only 15,000
people in the county.

- You don't understand,
this is critical to my--

(sighs)

I don't expect
you to understand,

but I do need your service,

and I'm willing to pay for it.

- I need specifics.

- No!

No specifics.

I can't be specific.

I'm sorry, but it's
how business operates.

My father taught me that.

It's the first lesson.

I can only be specific

about individual
actions to be taken.

And money.

We can be very
specific about money.

25,000.

You wrap up this investigation,

Loccoco keeps the town
quiet for the next week,

then trains Donny to be sheriff.

I want Rogo arrested tonight

and detained for 48 hours.

- Why?

- Don't ask why, McPike.

(uneasy music)

- Good.

Helmut Zimbrick is
coming here tomorrow.

It's the final hurdle,
and we're free.

- Helmut?

- Zimbrick, yes.

It's exhilarating, isn't it?

- Blood's beginning
to rush to my head.

- Better there than elsewhere.

- Lacey Marseille in
her tranquility parlor.

Who are we kidding?

Your Volchek's
vibrating snapper.

- I'm nobody's
vibrating anything!

(grave music)

- I could turn you
into a tuning fork.

- Ah! You're getting acquainted.

Good.

We're in business.

Have we met before?

- In another life, maybe.

- There are no other
lives, Mr. Loccoco.

(moaning)

(phone rings)

(laughs)

- Oh, Nona.

(giggles)

Nona!

(phone rings)

Oh, Nona.

(machine clunks)

- Logged 1500 hours,

three-13-90,

report center 12.

- Oh-one-two-nine.

- Oh-one-two-nine.

- Oh-one-two-nine, he's mine.

(sighs)

Hang on.

(Nona giggling)

Hi, Frank.

What do you have for me?

- I have a name,
Helmut Zimbrick.

- [Lifeguard] Helmut Zimbrick.

- That's easy.

- [Frank] I need
everything you have on him

as soon as possible.

Listen, I'm gonna put my Seattle
counterpoint on the line.

She knows him, hang on.

- Zimbrick's head
of the state health

administration department.

- What does he have to do
with hospital construction?

- Yeah, no health
facility goes up

without Zimbrick's approval.

- [Frank] All right, thank you.

May I speak to my uncle, please?

- Frank, I love Seattle.
(chuckles)

- Yeah, that's swell, uncle.

Listen, this hospital
thing makes sense.

Volchek's putting up a hospital,

but it's 10 times the
size that the town needs.

- Frank, stop and
smell the coffee.

- What?

- Relax!

Now if this Zimbrick's got
a dirty deal goin' down,

we're gonna find out about it.

What do you need?

- I need a car.

I need it delivered as
quietly as possible.

Anything else on Vinnie?

- We got got zero.

- All right, just
get me the car.

Why do you sound so happy?

- 'Cause I'm naked. (chuckles)

I'll talk to you later, Frank.

(clicks)
(dial tone)

- Where have you been?

- I was out at the mill.

- Don't keep me waiting.

This is Roger Loccoco.

He has been briefed
on how we operate.

You do what he tells you.

He's my man here, Donny.

I'll be at Lacey's.

(slams)

- Meet the new boss.

Same as the old boss.

We know this county
and everybody in it.

And inside of two weeks
we get passed over twice

for guys who couldn't
find their way

to the whore house
without askin'.

You know where it is, Sheriff?

No, course not.

We been loyal deputies.

We do whatever the old
man asks and then some,

and for what?

So he call some
carpetbagger sheriff?

Who the hell are you
that makes it so special?

Do you think we're
just gonna sit back

and take it up the
wazoo from you?

Sit there with that
cow pie face of yours

like you got a right
to run this place

and we're gonna do whatever
because you say so?

You got another thing comin'.

What the hell is this?

What is this?

- May I have that please?

Give it to me.

(shatters)

(grave music)

Would you mind cleaning
that up for me?

And you.

I'd like you to go
find this Rogo guy.

Tell him the new sheriff
would like to see him.

(pained grunt)

When he gets here, I want you

to take him to the whore house.

Because, uh,

you know where it is.

(door closes)

- It's excellent, Lacey.

Zimbrick will be in heaven.

(sucks air)

But, uh, not her.

Give her the day off.

She's very nice, but
Helmut prefers the obvious.

(chuckles)

- Mark, I know what
Helmut prefers.

(giggles)

Michelle had Zimbrick

smiling all the way back
to Seattle last trip.

- Do you have a corvette yet?

- No, sir.

- What's your favorite color?

- Ivory, like teeth.

- It's a special order.

Give the rest of the girls
the day off tomorrow.

I want Zimbrick to feel like
this is his special paradise.

(chuckles)

This room is really
terrific, Lacey.

I think I'll stay here tonight.

Give it a test drive for Helmut.

Ivory's a special order.

Now Helmut has a very
discriminating pallet.

- Oh, no, wait a minute--

- You're the only
gourmet in Lynchboro.

- I know.

But I don't cook.

- Oh, please, Lacey, I
can't have him eating

sausage and curly
cues from the Treetop,

it's practically poison!

- If Michelle's
doing her job right,

he's not even gonna notice.

- How 'bout a pair of
edible panties and a spoon?

- What the hell
are you doing here?

- My job.

- You're supposed to
be dealing with Rogo.

- Being done.

- Oh.

I want the streets cleaned.

Cars and trucks washed.

Windows and storefronts
squeegeed until they squeak.

If there's snow, okay, but
no dirty snow and no dookie.

I want Lynchboro to be the
perfect slice of American pie.

- You'll have to
restock the gene pool.

- You know, I've
thought about that.

It's within the
realm of possibility.

(door opens)

- Empty displays of power.

You got Donny draggin'
me away from my family.

Why?

'Cause I embarrassed
you in church today.

Oh, Mark.

You're a 200 pound man

wrapped in a child's ego.

- I weigh 180.

- Oh, Mark.

You know Lynchboro's
becoming a town of one?

You know that.

I don't care how many
Hessians you hire.

They don't care about
this town, if you survive.

Their loyalty is to the
money you pay them only.

- You just called me Judas.

Mr. Edward Rogosheske?

- That's right.

- You're under arrest.

- What trumped up charge?

- Verbal assault on
a police officer.

Felony offense, pal.

You're lookin' at hard time.

Oh, Donny,

uh, Mr. Volchek has some dookie

he'd like to discuss with you.

- This is ridiculous.

- [Roger] State
statute, Buckwheat.

(door opens)

(door closes)

- He appeals to your
ambition, Sheriff?

Well, this town only has
room for one ambitious man,

and he's stayin'.

Unless we can put him
in a straight jacket

and cart him out of here.

What do you say?

- Can't you sing Swing Low,
Sweet Chariot or somethin'?

- Yeah, I can sing that

but how 'bout this?

♪ Someone big is
coming to town ♪

(pops)

(chuckles)

You see, Sheriff, this
isn't the first time

this has happened to me.

I mean, Mark thinks I'm
gonna embarrass him.

I wonder who he
wants to impress.

(drawer opens)

You know you're at the
wrong desk over there?

Stem kept his secrets
at this one over here.

(drawer slides shut)

The bottom drawer.

Left.

(sighs)

(keys jingle)

I know you.

- Yeah, I get that a lot.

I think it's my resemblance
to Ward Cleaver.

(scoffs)

- [Edward] Now come on,
Sheriff, what's in it?

- You knew where it
was, you tell me.

- Well, it's your
predecessor's dead ticket file.

For a while there, all the
heavy weight out of towners

on their way to Gorslava,

they'd get caught in
that speed trap, you see,

and Mark'd come down
here and fix the tickets.

It would be a way for
Mark to get a hook in 'em.

Hell, you could tell who
Mark was doin' business with

just by goin' through
the dead ticket file.

You tell me somethin'.

- You've got a big mouth.

- You don't know what
it's like, do ya?

To have roots?

To love a town

and the people in it?

You're just another virus
blowin' in the wind.

(phone typing)

(phone rings)

- [Frank] Hello.

- Frank, so you really
are stayin' up there.

- Up to five minutes
ago, I didn't have a car.

Now listen, I'm gonna wait
here for Volchek to come back,

see what I can find out.

- He's not comin' back.

Not tonight.

Frank, there's somethin' up
there you're not gonna believe.

- What's up here? I been over
every inch of this house.

- Well, maybe they're
not in the house.

- Who are they?

- Frank, I've got
it on good authority

that somewhere up there,

Volchek is keeping four
dead bodies on ice.

- [Frank] Cryonics.

- There is no other life.

He said that to me, remember?

So he's obsessed with the
preservation of this one.

That would explain the
importance of the hospital.

- Four insulated housing
systems, liquid nitrogen,

a 20 K generator?

- These systems are up
and operating, Frank.

- (scoffs) Well
these are big tubes.

I been all over this
house, they're not here.

- Well, it's a large estate.

There's a lot of land out there.

(machinery hums)

- [Frank] This would make a
lot more sense in the morning.

(wolf howls)

- [Roger] Sounds like it's
coming from over there.

Grandma and ma.

- What happened
to pop and gramps?

(wolf howls)

It's the movie Sardonicus.

- Let a smile be your umbrella.

(machinery hums)

Frank,

look at this.

(eerie music)

Volcheks are one fun family.

- [Frank] Poor bastard thinks
he's creating a dynasty.

- Frank.

No name.

Here's our boy.

Check it out.

- You know, how
do you live a life

when you're that afraid
of death? (sighs)

I feel sorry for the guy.

Maybe that's why he
takes such comfort

in a film about ghouls.

You know, I feel a little
bit like a ghoul myself

just bein' in a joint like this.

(growling)

(screaming)

(growling)

(screaming)

(galloping)

(concerning music)

- $43.

(horn honks)

- [Shopping Channel
Man] General store.

And we do have some
wonderful items.

Been a while since I
showed you any tea cloth.

Now don't forget that ring
that Linda is wearing.

That brand new diamond ring

is gonna be coming
up in this hour.

But in the meantime, I'll
show you the Royale set--

(TV murmurs)

- I need a room.

- It's $12.

No cooking, no guests,

no firearms.

- And gimme a
towel, too, will ya?

- That's $2 deposit.

Call before you
get in the shower.

You get five minutes
of hot water for free.

Top of the stairs, room 402.

(keys fall)

- Thanks.

(distant siren wails)

(TV murmurs)

(phone rings)

- This is Lacey.

- Hey, who's runnin' the
the sheriff's office?

- Ko--

Who is this?

- I'd rather not say.

And if you figure it out,
I'd rather you not say.

- A guy by the name of Loccoco's

running the sheriff's office.

- I need a favor.

(sighs)
(snoring)

(running footstep)

- Oh, Sheriff, I--
- Shh!

(snoring)

(sighs)
- I got a message--

- Listen, wait, um,

let me apologize for
that tuning fork line.

A part of me never grew up.

- Which part?

(chuckles) Forget it.

- I got a call from a friend.

He wouldn't tell me where he is,

but he wants you to know
that he's all right.

- Thanks.

What is it with you guys?

- I've seen things in my life.

Cruel things, things I spent
years trying to forget.

I don't want to see 'em anymore.

- Is that why Kozak left?

- I don't know.

- Why did you take this job?

- A debt to a friend.

Listen, my bones are frozen, uh,

you wanna get a drink?

- Come on.

There's only one place in
town to get a decent brandy.

- Yeah, and where is that?

- I'll give you three guesses.

(chuckling)

- Listen, if we're
going to, uh, talk,

I know you're a
manager, not a player,

but I'll pay you just to
sit in front of a fireplace.

- I sell sex,

not affection.

Affection's free.

But nobody ever asks.

Come on, big boy.

Listen, how disappointed
are you gonna be

if I tell you I don't think
the fireplace is working?

- [Roger] How disappointed
are you gonna be

if I tell you I
don't have any money?

(Lacey chuckles)

(phone ringing)

(sighs)

(groans)

- Hello.

- [Lifeguard] Frank?

- Yeah.

- I got a rundown on Zimbrick.

(chuckles) He's
been sellin' permits

for health facilities for years.

He's under investigation
by the state.

In fact, they're just
about to bust 'em.

- Well, can you
get 'em to hold off

until he's done his
deal with Volchek?

- It's already done.

- Well look, Uncle, I
think this is gonna be

easier than I thought.

- Frank.

- Yeah.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine, why?

- Hey,

I know how tough it
is to work it alone.

(sighs)

Nothin' new on Vinnie.

They found his holster
in the trunk of your car,

but, sorry, no gun.

- Yeah.

(romantic contemporary music)

- I thought you
might dance with me.

- Oh, yeah.

(static from old television)

(coughs)

(hard-hitting
orchestrated music)

(grand presentational music)