Wiseguy (1987–2009): Season 3, Episode 15 - Romp - full transcript
Vinnie joins his old neighborhood friends for a bachelor party but ends up finding one of his pals in trouble with a loan shark.
- [Narrator]
Tonight, on Wiseguy.
(crowd cheering)
- [Both] It's Jimmy!
- We're gonna have the time
of our lives, I promise.
It'll be memorable.
- Oh Jimmy.
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Good friends.
- Are you married?
- Not for eight hours.
Technically I'm still single.
- Well technically you are sick.
- Prosperity.
- You have the money for me
by wedding time tomorrow morning
or it's gonna be a
very short marriage.
- To the three stooges!
(glasses clink)
- [Together] Woo
woo woo woo woo!
(dramatic instrumental music)
(light jazz music)
- [Man On Radio] This
evening, chance of showers.
- Yeah, so this gargoyle
at the parts store
gave me the wrong
points and condenser.
Ah, it was my own fault.
I shoulda checked 'em
before I left the store.
So anyway that's
what I've been doin'.
Just goin' back and
forth to the store.
- Yeah, well son, whatever
lights your candle.
Hey, but that was today.
What about tonight?
- Ah, just sittin' around
messin' with these carburetors.
- What are you doin',
it's Friday night.
Come on what are those
carburetors the only thing
you can get your hands on?
- Nah, I'm just not in
the mood Uncle Mike.
- You know this sounds like
a down spiral to me, son.
You gotta get with
some people that can
get you out of it, huh?
- All right, fine.
What do you wanna do?
- Well.
I uh.
- Ah you got
something goin', huh?
- Yeah, kinda.
But look, um, I
can change my plans
if you're stuck, all right?
- No no no, that's all
right, that's all right.
Listen, you have a good time.
Maybe I'll give Frank a shout.
- No, you can save your dime.
I know he's got
Greg this weekend.
- Well that's all right.
- Call someone else, okay?
Do it.
- Okay, I will.
Listen you have
a good time, huh?
- I'll do the best I can.
- All right.
Buh-bye.
(light jazz music)
Call somebody.
Who am I gonna call?
(phone rings)
- [Man] You have
reached the residence
of Michael P and
Denise D Cacciatore.
Neither one of us
are here right now
and where we are is
none of your business.
Leave a message and we'll call
you back if we feel like it.
(answering machine beeps)
- Yeah Mooch, it's Vinnie.
It's Friday night about 10:30.
I'm not doing anything so
if you guys aren't busy
why don't you give
me a buzz, okay?
Take care.
- [Man On Radio] And
we continue to lull you
with more cool sounds
throughout the night.
(slow jazz music)
(knocking)
- Hey Mooch, how you doin' man?
- Couldn't be better.
- I just tried calling you.
- I just called home on the
car phone and got your message.
- Oh yeah?
Yeah grab a beer.
Make yourself at home, sit down.
What's goin' on, big Mooch.
So how's married
life treating ya?
- Ah, pretty good, but uh,
how I miss the simple joys
of bachelorhood. (laughs)
- So Daneli is running the roost
with the proverbial
iron fist, huh?
- Oh yeah, that's a
massive understatement.
Who's gonna mess with
a woman who's licensed
to carry a .38 and
her name's Cacciatore?
- She goes by Detective
Cacciatore now, does she?
- Well uh, not exactly.
- Yeah, I figured.
Well she can't be
all that tough.
She let you stop
by for happy hour.
- She didn't let me stop by.
She's out of town on some stupid
cop convention in Vegas.
- And you let her
go without you?
Doesn't sound like
the Mooch I know.
- Well, now that we're married
I'm not that possessive anymore.
I don't mind if she
goes to Vegas alone.
- Hm.
The fact that her
colleagues might hate you
had nothing to do
with it, did it?
- Yeah, maybe.
You know, you know
something Terranova,
you really disappoint me.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
I had this fantasy
that you'd be cruising
through life with
the insouciance of an
unfettered bachelor.
- Insouciance.
- I figured that now that I'm
no longer on the open market
that you'd be
picking up my slack.
Instead I find you
moping around the house
on a Friday night rebuilding
some stupid carburetor?
Just like you used to
do when things got bad.
- Well.
Hopefully the bad
times are over.
- Is there anything I can do?
After all, as a
lawyer, I'm aces.
- (chuckles) Well to tell you
the truth I almost needed ya.
- I tell you what if you ever do
I give you the Gindalune
special, 10% off.
- Hey, what a pal. (laughs)
- Your happiness is
my mission in life.
Speaking of which.
- What's this?
A stag party?
What kind of a mook sells
tickets to a stag party?
- The legendary Jimmy Vitale.
- You mean to tell
me that somebody's
actually gonna
marry Jimmy Vitale?
- Not just somebody,
Debbie Amico.
- Wow, she waited for
him all these years.
- Bad things come
to those who wait.
(laughs)
So what do you say
man, you up for this?
- You know something, I think
this is exactly what I need.
- And we have ringside seats.
(upbeat rock music)
(crowd chattering)
Who are these guys?
I hardly know any of 'em.
- Yeah I don't either.
- Where the hell's Jimmy?
- I don't know, but I'm sure
he's cooking up something.
(laughs)
Salut.
- Salut.
- Ah, oh.
Remember your 18th birthday?
- Oh yeah, how
could I forget that?
- (laughs) You got me to
hot wire the school bus.
They thought the Mazzuco sisters
we're gonna take you on
the ride of your life, pal.
- No no, it was the
ride of their lives.
(laughs)
I'm ringing in Marie Mazzuco.
Man, I was sore for a week.
- Yeah, we all were.
(laughing)
(crowd cheering and whistling)
- Catch me an ale and whatever
pleases my lady and beast.
(crowd cheering and whistling)
- [Both] It's Jimmy.
- Vinnie and Mooch.
They did make it.
I don't believe it.
- [Man] Off the horse!
- Hello sweetheart.
(palm thwacks)
(laughing)
- Hey.
- Hey!
- Hey!
- How you doin', man?
It's good to see ya.
- I can't tell you
what this means,
you guys showing
up like this, huh?
It's been too long.
- We really messed
you at the reunion.
Where were ya?
- I wanted to make it. (sighs)
Was busy.
- Ah, it's all right.
I wouldn't miss this
one for the world.
- Hey, we're gonna have the
time of our lives, I promise.
It'll be memorable.
- All right.
- Hey everybody!
Listen up.
Let's get started, huh?
Come on, come on!
(crowd applauding and cheering)
Hey Lady Godiva, honey.
Come on, bring your Lady
Godiva luck up here.
Come on.
Let's go, all right?
(chuckling)
(crowd hollering and whistling)
Okay baby, bring me some luck.
Hey blow on these, will ya?
Ooh, come on baby.
Come on baby, I
need this, oh God.
Oh!
Keep it warm here, Lady G.
I gotta get some
refreshments, okay?
Hm.
- You want to roll the dice?
(palm thwacks)
Oh!
- How'd you guys do?
- What do you think?
We were with you all the way.
- You came up with them dots.
What happened to those
shaved dice of yours?
- Ah, those were my shaved dice.
Maybe they need a closer shave.
(crowd hollering)
- Oh Jimmy.
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Hey!
This is Valerie, guys,
and Valerie is a
classically trained dancer
here to perform for you tonight.
A little music please.
Hey, I'm a free man
for another 10 hours,
I'm gonna make the most of it.
I'm getting a drink.
- [Woman] You wanna
move out of my way here?
- Hi honey.
They treating you okay?
- [Woman] Excuse me.
- Mike, look.
- [Woman] You mind
letting me through.
- It's the fun police.
- Excuse me, I believe you
have something of mine.
- Debbie.
What are you doin' here?
- Come on.
- Honey, you're messing with
a time-honored tradition here.
- A rolling pin
to the chaps is a
time-honored tradition also.
- Don't worry
about nothin', Deb.
We got it all under control.
- No, no, Vinnie
Terranova, great.
I feel a whole lot
better already.
- Really good to
see you too, Deb.
- Chicken cacciatore,
well the three stooges
are together again.
- Don't call me chicken.
I'm an adult now.
- Look, that remains to be seen.
Look I don't want this
guy having too much fun
and since you're here
I'm holding you two
personally responsible
for getting him
to the ceremony on time.
I guess even you
three can't get into
too much trouble here.
- [Man] Hey we need some
more beer over here!
- You know something
Deb, you're right.
Not here.
- Hey, what are you doin'?
- Jimmy Vitale, don't you
dare leave this building.
- Sorry honey.
- Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk.
- Woo woo woo woo woo woo.
- [Woman] Should
we go after him?
- No.
Let him go.
He's got 10 hours.
Then he's mine.
Let's go.
- Woo woo woo woo!
- Yee haw!
- [Jimmy] Where we goin'?
- [Mike] Who cares,
we're outta here.
- [Vinnie] The
night's still young.
- [Jimmy] What's the hurry?
(upbeat music)
- Woo hoo!
- Hoo hoo hoo!
- Woo hoo hoo!
- Three stooges strike again.
(hooting and hollering)
- Hey Mo.
- Hey Mo!
- [Mike] Come on, Agent
Mook, you're too slow.
- [Vinnie] (laughs)
Wait a minute.
It's been a long time
since I done this.
Gotta weigh more now.
- Come on, Mike!
Don't fall on me.
- [Vinnie] Don't fall on me.
You're both ahead
of me, hurry up.
- [Mike] I'm alone up here.
- [Jimmy] Come on Mike!
- [Mike] And nobody cares.
- [Vinnie] Come on, Mooch!
Woo hoo!
Hoo hoo hoo!
(cat meows)
Woo woo woo woo.
Come on hurry up.
- [Jimmy] Come on, you!
Come on!
- Woo!
- Come on, I think
there's a tubby coming.
- [Jimmy] Come on Mike.
- [Mike] All right, all right.
- [Vinnie] Come on.
- Woo!
- This way, this way.
(hollering)
- [Vinnie] So what are we doing?
- There's got to be a party
around here somewhere.
It's Friday night.
- Hey, we're the party.
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey let's go in over there.
- Oh, we can find a
better place than that.
Come on, let's go in the city.
- Come on!
- This is good, this is,
come on you'll love it.
Come on.
- [Jimmy] That place is a dump.
Let's go somewhere else.
Look at the line.
- Hey don't worry about it.
Watch, we'll get right in.
(lively rock music)
Hey, how you doin'?
- Fine, Mr. Terranova.
- What are you waiting for?
- Hey, is Ray here?
- He might be by later on.
- Come on.
- Come on.
(crowd chattering)
- Barkeep!
Three scotches neat, please.
- This is why I should
have stayed a bachelor.
- This is why I did
stay a bachelor.
- Kiss it goodbye, buddy.
Tomorrow morning they
nail the coffin shut.
- To Jimmy.
- Jimmy.
(glasses clink)
- To good friends, prosperity.
- Here we go.
- Jimmy, not too deep huh?
To the three stooges.
- [Together] Woo woo
woo woo woo woo woo woo.
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
- Aha, the night
stretches before us
like a polished jewel.
- (laughing) What?
- Jimmy Vitale, my pleasure.
Ladies meet my friends,
Vinnie and Mike.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- [Together] Hello.
- Barkeep, barkeep.
Get another round for
these beautiful ladies.
Put it on this gentleman's tab.
- What?
Put it on his.
- Ah, no no no.
(punchy rock music)
- Oh and then there
was Emile Calzaretta.
How's that for a moniker, huh?
Anyway Emile, he comes
over from the old country.
15, looked about 30.
Matter of fact I
think he was 30.
Anyway, he was always
picking on Vinnie and Mooch.
You know, stealing their
lunch money, things like that.
Terrorized 'em in 10th grade
until I stepped in and
straightened him out.
That's why these fellas
are totally indebted to me.
That right, boys?
- Right Jimmy.
- Anything you say, Mr. Vitale.
- See?
They owe me their lives.
- Do we ever come out on
top in one of these things?
- He has a very
selective memory.
(chuckles)
- Hey what do you say you
go get a girlfriend, hm?
And the six of us
will go into the city.
Hey Vinnie, you like
redheads or brunettes?
You've got beautiful hair,
just like my wife's.
- [Woman] Are you married?
- Not for eight hours.
- You're getting married
tomorrow morning,
and you're hitting on us?
- Relax.
Technically I'm still single.
- No, technically you are sick.
Let's get outta here.
- Girls, wait a
second, wait a min.
Oh, we coulda had so much fun.
- Well what'd you tell 'em
you were getting married for?
- Nice going, buddy.
- Ah, don't worry about it.
I know this other place where
we're guaranteed (chuckles).
Ray, Ray.
Ray, you know Vinnie Terranova?
Everybody knows
Vinnie Terranova.
Mike Cacciatore.
Guys this is Ray Spiotta,
he owns the nightclub here.
Uh, listen why don't
you get another round
of drinks, keep the party going.
I got to talk to Ray
for a second, okay?
Can we talk in your office, Ray?
- Yeah, why not.
- Okay.
- Can you guys do the three
musketeers thing again?
- No no no, no.
It's stooges, the three stooges.
(laughing)
(slow instrumental music)
- I'm glad you came
down tonight, Ray.
I want to talk to you
about our little problem.
- I'm listening.
- I'll have that money
for ya in a couple weeks.
- Didn't you say that
a couple a weeks ago?
(sighs)
- It's my slow season.
- Yeah, me too.
You know my nightclub
business is down 18%
across the boards?
With all the disease and
the drugs out of style,
it's terrible.
It's killing my business.
Hey, I see you out there with
Terranova and Cacciatore.
- Yeah we go back a long way.
- Good friends, huh?
- The best.
They're taking me out tonight.
I'm getting married
in the morning, Ray.
- No kidding, what time?
- 10 o'clock sharp.
- Hey I got an idea.
Why don't you get
your wedding present
from your pals out there?
2,200 would be
nothing to those guys.
- Yeah.
No, I can't do that Ray.
- Eh.
Suit yourself.
- Look Ray I gotta go.
They're waiting for me.
But I promise you, two weeks.
- You have the money
for me by wedding time
tomorrow morning, or it's
gonna be a very short marriage.
You understand that?
Good.
- Yeah.
(upbeat pop music)
Hey come on, let's go.
- Excuse us a minute.
- Jimmy what are
you talking about?
Look what we got
sitting back there.
- Yeah, yeah.
Now give me that tab.
- [Mike] Well where we going?
- Oh I don't know.
I'll figure out something.
I always do.
Hey what are you doing?
- [Bartender] This
card's no good.
- What are you talking about?
- It's been revoked, pal.
- It's all right,
it's all right.
We'll take care of it.
That dice game wiped me out.
- Me too.
(sighs)
(laughs)
- [Bartender] Hey, somebody's
got to pay this tab.
- [Mike] Okay see
you tomorrow, bro.
(hooting and hollering)
- [Jimmy] Come on Mike!
(horn honking)
Hey Mo, hey Mo!
(upbeat music)
Uh-oh!
- [Vinnie] Come on!
Hey maybe he can
give us a few bucks.
(laughs)
Woo-oh!
Come on!
- [Mike] Where the
hell are we goin'?
(laughing)
- [Vinnie] Almost there.
(hollering)
I can't believe we did that!
(laughing)
Look at this guy, he
makes millions of dollar
and he's skipping--
- [Mike] Shut up, Terranova.
What about you mister
big-time mobster?
Who's gonna make you pay anyway?
- [Vinnie] He'll get paid.
I'll drop the money off
for the tab tomorrow.
- [Mike] Ah, they'll lead
to the end of the world.
Credit cards are ruining
this country anyway.
- You know I don't think
that bartender knew me.
- What the hell does he
want with one, anyway?
So where we going now?
- Where can we go,
we got no money?
Say, Jimmy, got any ideas?
- Yeah, yeah I do.
(slow instrumental music)
- What is it, what is it?
(lock clanging)
- Oh, damn.
Shh shh shh.
- They put a new one on.
- Hey hey hey.
Shh, shh.
(glass clanging)
- Shh!
- Oh!
- Come on!
- Shh shh shh.
- Hey, give me a boost, come on.
I'll get the door.
- Okay.
Come on, will you stop it?
(grunting)
Shh!
Super Jimmy.
Push him in there.
Shh, shh.
- [Jimmy] You guys, get in here.
(door clangs)
- [Mike] Watch it.
Where's the light switch?
- It's around here
somewhere, hold on.
(laughing)
Is this is a dream or what?
- Yeah.
- Hey hey.
- Hey why not, huh?
Whoa, hey hey!
All right.
(upbeat music)
- Yeah!
That's three man, three.
- Try it again, try it again.
(basketballs thudding)
(shouting)
- [Jimmy] Take your pick.
- Hey.
(grunting)
(shouting)
- Slow there, Mike?
Oh, got it, I got it!
Ohh!
- Get off of him!
- [Jimmy] Ho!
- Shoot for the net, boy!
Oh that's it,
that's it. (laughs)
(coughing)
(panting)
Oh boy, I gotta lay off smoking.
- It's not the cigarettes Mooch,
it's the cushy
lifestyle you lead.
- Oh.
- Man I used to
live for gym class.
- And I used to live for
second period geometry.
- [Together] Rika Reese Spaduny.
- Yeah, (laughs).
She had some great sweaters.
Chris, do you like to push?
- All of 'em.
I liked 'em all, the
whole ball of wax.
- No no no.
You couldn't of
liked Sister Marion.
(laughs)
- Even her.
(laughing)
Man, we were the
cocks of the walk.
Anybody got in our way, bam
we took care of 'em, huh?
It was simple.
Everything was simple.
- Yeah I miss simple.
- You know I loved
walking down the halls.
The guys would get
out of the way and
the girls would check us out.
(laughs)
Check me out.
(laughs)
They were the best
days of my life.
- Well, personally I'm
glad it's all over.
I didn't like the uncertainty.
I mean, who are you
gonna go out with?
What are you gonna be?
You got the parents
talking at ya,
the teachers talking at ya.
- Yeah sure, you're glad.
You got the world on a string.
I used to.
I really used to.
I don't know how I let
it get away from me.
One minute we're the three
musketeers, you know,
the next time I turn around
you guys are stars, huh?
- Oh, geez.
- I'm still back here
cutting up tin vents.
- Come on buddy.
You did pretty good taking
over your old man's business.
- Yeah, Vitale Cool Air.
Yeah I didn't do so bad.
I was only 22 when I
took over that company.
- I remember that.
- Driving a Cadillac,
taking home 60 grand plus.
Made in the shade.
- You were set up pretty nice.
- Yeah, set up.
How come I feel like
I'm serving a sentence?
- Hey, that's why they
call 'em jobs, buddy.
- Yeah.
- [Mike] Hey, you're still
driving around a Caddy, right?
- Yeah.
A six year old Cadillac.
- (laughs) Poor guy.
- You guys don't know anything
about me anymore, do ya?
(sighs)
Well, I'll tell ya.
The business is in the toilet.
And those guys you
saw at the party?
I barely knew any of 'em.
I ain't got any friends,
except you guys.
Now I got Ray Spiotta after me.
- Hey what is this with Spiotta?
- Ah, forget it.
- Hey, you're
talking to us here.
- Yeah I know who
I'm talking to.
- What does that mean?
- I just mean I got
myself into something
and I'll get myself out.
- Since when can't you
come to your buddies?
- Hey where you been
the last eight years?
(sighs) Hey, hey I
know where you've been.
You've been out taking
care of business.
Taking care of number one.
You just haven't
been around here.
Mike, if I was gonna sue
him I woulda come to ya.
Vinnie, if I was gonna
negotiate I woulda come to you.
I gotta take care
of this one myself.
- Well Jimmy, I don't
know if this Spiotta guy
is somebody you should
be messing around with.
I mean, he could
somebody after you
to break your legs, maybe worse.
- What kind of
trouble are you in?
- I owe him $2,200.
- So why don't you
just pay him back?
- I don't have it, Vinnie.
- Your business
can't be that bad.
- There is no business, Mike.
Chapter 11.
- Does Debbie know?
- You kiddin'?
I make the girl wait nine
years to get married?
Have to cancel the
church wedding,
the one thing she
wanted in life,
and now I'm gonna tell her
on the eve of the wedding,
honey I'm broke.
Ah.
Can't do it.
- Yeah, I understand
that Jimmy but
she's gonna find out
sooner or later anyway.
- What's the sweat.
The way you guys make it sound
Ray's gonna kill me anyway.
- Oh, come on.
I'll tell you what we'll do.
We'll go find Ray, we'll
straighten the whole thing out.
- Vinnie, you're not
afraid of Spiotta, are ya?
- I'm not afraid of him.
- I'm not either.
I'll take care of it myself.
- Well Jimmy, I'm not saying
you should be afraid of him.
I'm just saying there's ways
of conducting
yourself, that's all.
- I know how to conduct myself.
Look, guys, I'm down here
on the streets, okay?
I'm not in some
Park Avenue office
and I'm not on some
mob commission.
(dramatic instrumental music)
The only thing I seem to
have left is some pride.
I can't let Ray
Spiotta push me around.
- Hey.
We are your friends.
(dramatic instrumental music)
(whistle screeches)
- This is the girl's gym
today and we got a game.
You broke in here, didn't ya?
That's trespassing.
- Lay off me, will ya lady?
I'm an attorney.
- Get out of here.
- All right, all
right, we're going.
We're going.
Where's Jimmy?
- There's another one?
I said out, before
my girls get here.
- All right already, all right.
(percussive music)
- Vin, we coulda taken her.
- I don't know man, it
would've been close.
- Where the hell's Jimmy?
- (sighs) I don't know,
we better find him.
(exhales deeply)
(sobs)
(breathing deeply)
- Judge Lenand really must
keep his schedule in tact.
We'll have to perform
the ceremony now.
- Look, we're not going anywhere
until he gets here, all right?
(door bangs)
Where is he?
- Uh, we thought he was here.
- I told you to watch him.
- We did.
- Then you didn't watch
him too good, did you?
Look, you find him or
I will make every day
of your life hell.
(palms thwack)
(gasps)
(yells)
- [Woman] Harry, give
me some eggs over easy,
some wheat toast no butter.
Make it quick, eh?
- [Man] Eggs over easy, wheat
toast no butter, no problem.
Gee.
- Look what's comin'.
- Sammy, Ray, how you doin'?
- Have a seat, Jimmy.
- [Woman] BLT on wheat.
- [Man] BLT.
- If you wanna talk, sit down.
- [Man] Miss, miss?
- Sweetheart?
We changed our minds.
Yeah we're gonna have refills
over here and a new cup.
- [Woman] Coming right up.
- What a coincidence.
We were just coming to see you.
- [Woman] Hey Harry, gimme
another BLT will you?
- Oh yeah, were you?
- You got the money?
- Look Ray, I only
got a few minutes.
I really want to
straighten this out.
- You got the money?
- I want to sign over
the family business to you.
- What, do you
think I'm ignorant,
I don't know what goes
on in the neighborhood?
You're in Chapter 11.
Don't insult me.
- It's a sign of
good faith, Ray.
- If you don't have
the 2,200 in cash
you don't have the money.
- Ray look, I don't have
time to argue about this.
I got 15 minutes
to get to city hall
or I miss my own wedding.
(scoffs)
- This is priceless.
All the time it's Ray, wait.
Ray, give me another
couple a weeks.
Ray, it's a good faith gesture.
Ray, wait.
Now you wait.
Drink your coffee.
(door bangs)
- What do you want?
- I want to see Spiotta.
- He ain't here,
come back tonight.
- You seen Jimmy Vitale?
- He was just in
here looking for Ray.
What do you want with him?
- It's business.
- He's at Ma's Diner.
- Move.
- [Man] Go ahead, help yourself.
- Sailor Hardware.
- Uncle Mike, it's Vinnie.
- Hey Vince, how you doin'?
- How fast can you
get me $10,000?
- Huh, it would amaze even you.
- Well good, amaze me.
I want it over at the Ma's
Diner in Brooklyn, you got it?
- Yeah, you got it son.
- All right.
Let's go.
- A little more coffee, please.
- [Woman] Coming up.
- This one's decaf.
Regular.
Ahhh.
Drink up.
- I already had four cups, Ray.
- Drink it.
- What is this?
Italian coffee torture?
Ray, come on, it
was a lousy $2,200.
I used to throw that
away in a weekend.
- So I heard, that's why I
thought you were a secure loan.
- My business was
going down the tubes.
I thought it would
help me get by.
It didn't.
- Family business.
(clicking tongue)
Gone the way of the Automat.
- Thanks Ray, that's a comfort.
Ray, I gotta go.
- Drink your coffee.
Why did you come here, Jimmy?
- Because I wanted to start
fresh on my wedding day
and I don't want you
coming around and Debbie
finding out that I'm
not only bankrupt
but I'm into a loan shark.
- Why couldn't you get
the money out of Terranova
or Cacciatore for that matter?
I thought you were so tight.
- I didn't ask.
- Unbelievable.
You can come to me, but
you can't go to them.
- Ray, we'll make payments,
and it'll be a memory.
Now let me go to my wedding.
- Can I get a
warmer on this one?
- Ray.
- [Woman] Be right there.
- I gotta go get married.
Now I'm gonna get up
and you're gonna have to beat
me to death to keep me here.
(door dinging)
- Hey, you guys left my
club in a hurry last night.
- We were unhappy
with the service.
- Your bartender
short pours, too.
- Nah.
- Tell him to get outta here.
Sit down.
I understand we have
a problem here, Ray.
- He owes me 2,200.
Not a huge sum, but
you're a business man,
and more than that
you're a man of respect.
In my smaller universe, so am I.
Knowing he's a friend of yours
if you tell me I should
forgive the debt, I will.
I'll do it out of
mutual respect.
Maybe some day we could do
a little business together.
- I don't think so.
- Either way, you
can't muscle me on this
'cause I'm in the right here.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
2,200, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- There's 25, interest.
- Vinnie, I can't.
- Take it Jimmy.
We'll work it out later,
now come on you got a date.
Let's go.
Come on!
Oh, sorry.
Come on.
- Good luck.
- Jimmy.
Go to her house, apologize,
and tell her what happened.
- Yeah, tell her I'm broke?
Tell her I'm into a loan shark?
- Yeah, you tell
her you're broke.
- Yeah, tell her you
were into a loan shark.
- That'll go over big.
What's Jimmy Vitale
without money?
Hey you guys wouldn't
understand, you got money.
- What the hell has
that got to do with it?
You had money when we didn't.
- And you didn't mind
helping us now and again.
- I gotta give this back.
- Jimmy, keep it.
It'll buy you some time
on your bankruptcy.
- Jimmy, look.
You get some time,
you stop by my office,
I'll set you up with
a low interest loan
to get your business
out of hock.
(sighs)
- How can I take this?
- Jimmy, you can take it
because we're your friends.
It's as simple as that.
- We're your friends, Jimmy.
(door bangs)
(sighs)
- I figured you'd be here.
You all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
- Jimmy Vitale, I can't believe
that you would do this to me.
Nine years, and you make me
stand in front of my parents,
the Justice of the Peace
and the entire world
like a fool while you sit
around drinking beer like--
- Debbie.
Debbie, I can explain it to ya.
- There's nothing
to explain Jimmy.
Nothing.
- Wait a minute, Debbie!
- Debbie, we can explain this.
- No, you let him explain it.
- Come on, sit down.
Sit, honey.
- Just let 'em work it out.
- I had to straighten out
something with Ray Spiotta.
- Jimmy, you're into
Spiotta, for how much?
- 2,200.
- Why didn't you pay him?
- Everybody with the
why didn't I pay it.
- Oh, man.
- Vitale Cool Air is bankrupt.
- So?
- What do you mean, so?
- I already knew that.
- You knew that?
- I've known all along that you
were having financial problems.
That's your problem, Vitale,
you can't ask anyone for help.
You don't tell
anyone your problems.
People can help you, Jimmy.
People that love you.
(slow instrumental music)
- You knew I was broke and you
were gonna marry me anyway?
- I wasn't marrying
your business Jimmy,
I was marrying you.
And now because of your
pride you just lost
the best thing
that you ever had.
(door slams)
- She loves me.
She really loves me.
(laughs) It's all your fault.
- [Both] Whoa what did we do?
- If you didn't kidnap
me from the stag party
it never woulda happened.
Hey Debbie wait!
Wait Debbie!
I love you!
(door slams)
- I don't, what is it me?
Why does this have a
familiar ring to it?
- You know what, these
strolls down memory lane
are taking a toll on
that old gang of ours.
- Yeah, that's for sure.
If memory serves, I remember
the last time we took a stroll
we almost dumped the
current Mrs. Cacciatore
off a rollercoaster, and
you ended up simultaneously
in the hospital
and at the altar.
Denise, I love you, has
turned into Debbie I love you.
- Well look, at least
I had an excuse.
Daneli hit me in
the head with a gun.
- Mm-hmm.
- Don't smirk, pal.
It's gonna happen
to you too one day.
- Yeah, well, if it does
you're not gonna find me
running down the street
screaming, "I love you Rosalee"
or whatever the
hell it's gonna be.
- Yeah, well you'll
be real surprised.
Marriage has a lot of problems,
there's no doubt about that,
but you shouldn't
duck it Terranova.
- I'm not ducking it, I'm
just not romanticizing it.
- Like we romanticize about
a night out with the boys?
- Thomas Wolfe, my friend.
It's never as good as
you think it's gonna be.
- Yeah, I guess
you always wanna be
some place safe and
comfortable, like high school.
- Yeah, like high school.
Except it's only safe and
comfortable in retrospect.
You know I really
had a ball tonight,
but I wouldn't want to go back.
Things are pretty
good right now.
I mean, it has its downside,
but it's what I chose.
I'll live with it.
- I gotta agree with ya.
Like I said, I prefer
to be an adult.
Just do me a favor, huh buddy?
Try not to choose a life
that's too perilous, okay?
- I'll do my best.
- You ever gonna tell me
who this Uncle Mike guy is?
- Well that's a
long story, Mike.
Maybe I'll tell you
about it sometime, yeah.
- All right, okay.
You know, whenever you're ready.
Listen, I gotta get going.
Now listen man, now
you take it easy.
If you ever need anything you
give me a buzz, all right?
- Okay.
- And uh, Terranova, you're
talking to the Mooch here
so don't snow me man.
You're the biggest
romantic I know.
- Yeah, yeah right.
Okay, get outta here will ya?
I'll see ya later.
- Yeah.
- Take care of yourself.
(sighs)
(peppy instrumental music)
Denise, I love you.
Debbie, I love you.
Hey Rosalee, I love you.
Nah.
(sniffs) Never happen.
(church bells tolling)
- [Man] Congratulations!
- [Woman] Congratulations!
Congratulations.
- [Man] Congratulations.
- [Crowd] Congratulations!
(crowd chattering and laughing)
(crowd cheering and whistling)
- Aw, Jimmy.
(laughing)
- I can't tell you how
much this means to me.
- Jimmy, Debbie,
congratulations.
- Congratulations, you two.
So Deb, what's the deal?
You still mad at us, or what?
- What are you kidding?
Jimmy told me that
you guys lent him
the money for the wedding.
- For the wedding.
- This is like a dream to me.
I mean Jimmy throws
me the biggest
wedding reception in Brooklyn.
I love you guys to death.
- Wait a minute, what is this?
You love you us to death?
- Yeah, to death!
- Then I guess you
won't miss Jimmy
if he celebrates his
nuptials with us, will you?
- You wouldn't dare!
(laughs)
- Woo woo woo woo woo.
- Nuk nuk nuk nuk nuk.
(upbeat instrumental music)
(sighs)
(laughs)
(phone beeping)
(phone ringing)
- [Mike] Yeah, hello?
- Yeah, Mike.
It's Vinnie.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- I hope I didn't wake you up.
Listen, you heard from
Jimmy Vitale lately?
(lively instrumental music)
(dramatic instrumental music)
Tonight, on Wiseguy.
(crowd cheering)
- [Both] It's Jimmy!
- We're gonna have the time
of our lives, I promise.
It'll be memorable.
- Oh Jimmy.
- Oh!
- Oh!
- Good friends.
- Are you married?
- Not for eight hours.
Technically I'm still single.
- Well technically you are sick.
- Prosperity.
- You have the money for me
by wedding time tomorrow morning
or it's gonna be a
very short marriage.
- To the three stooges!
(glasses clink)
- [Together] Woo
woo woo woo woo!
(dramatic instrumental music)
(light jazz music)
- [Man On Radio] This
evening, chance of showers.
- Yeah, so this gargoyle
at the parts store
gave me the wrong
points and condenser.
Ah, it was my own fault.
I shoulda checked 'em
before I left the store.
So anyway that's
what I've been doin'.
Just goin' back and
forth to the store.
- Yeah, well son, whatever
lights your candle.
Hey, but that was today.
What about tonight?
- Ah, just sittin' around
messin' with these carburetors.
- What are you doin',
it's Friday night.
Come on what are those
carburetors the only thing
you can get your hands on?
- Nah, I'm just not in
the mood Uncle Mike.
- You know this sounds like
a down spiral to me, son.
You gotta get with
some people that can
get you out of it, huh?
- All right, fine.
What do you wanna do?
- Well.
I uh.
- Ah you got
something goin', huh?
- Yeah, kinda.
But look, um, I
can change my plans
if you're stuck, all right?
- No no no, that's all
right, that's all right.
Listen, you have a good time.
Maybe I'll give Frank a shout.
- No, you can save your dime.
I know he's got
Greg this weekend.
- Well that's all right.
- Call someone else, okay?
Do it.
- Okay, I will.
Listen you have
a good time, huh?
- I'll do the best I can.
- All right.
Buh-bye.
(light jazz music)
Call somebody.
Who am I gonna call?
(phone rings)
- [Man] You have
reached the residence
of Michael P and
Denise D Cacciatore.
Neither one of us
are here right now
and where we are is
none of your business.
Leave a message and we'll call
you back if we feel like it.
(answering machine beeps)
- Yeah Mooch, it's Vinnie.
It's Friday night about 10:30.
I'm not doing anything so
if you guys aren't busy
why don't you give
me a buzz, okay?
Take care.
- [Man On Radio] And
we continue to lull you
with more cool sounds
throughout the night.
(slow jazz music)
(knocking)
- Hey Mooch, how you doin' man?
- Couldn't be better.
- I just tried calling you.
- I just called home on the
car phone and got your message.
- Oh yeah?
Yeah grab a beer.
Make yourself at home, sit down.
What's goin' on, big Mooch.
So how's married
life treating ya?
- Ah, pretty good, but uh,
how I miss the simple joys
of bachelorhood. (laughs)
- So Daneli is running the roost
with the proverbial
iron fist, huh?
- Oh yeah, that's a
massive understatement.
Who's gonna mess with
a woman who's licensed
to carry a .38 and
her name's Cacciatore?
- She goes by Detective
Cacciatore now, does she?
- Well uh, not exactly.
- Yeah, I figured.
Well she can't be
all that tough.
She let you stop
by for happy hour.
- She didn't let me stop by.
She's out of town on some stupid
cop convention in Vegas.
- And you let her
go without you?
Doesn't sound like
the Mooch I know.
- Well, now that we're married
I'm not that possessive anymore.
I don't mind if she
goes to Vegas alone.
- Hm.
The fact that her
colleagues might hate you
had nothing to do
with it, did it?
- Yeah, maybe.
You know, you know
something Terranova,
you really disappoint me.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
I had this fantasy
that you'd be cruising
through life with
the insouciance of an
unfettered bachelor.
- Insouciance.
- I figured that now that I'm
no longer on the open market
that you'd be
picking up my slack.
Instead I find you
moping around the house
on a Friday night rebuilding
some stupid carburetor?
Just like you used to
do when things got bad.
- Well.
Hopefully the bad
times are over.
- Is there anything I can do?
After all, as a
lawyer, I'm aces.
- (chuckles) Well to tell you
the truth I almost needed ya.
- I tell you what if you ever do
I give you the Gindalune
special, 10% off.
- Hey, what a pal. (laughs)
- Your happiness is
my mission in life.
Speaking of which.
- What's this?
A stag party?
What kind of a mook sells
tickets to a stag party?
- The legendary Jimmy Vitale.
- You mean to tell
me that somebody's
actually gonna
marry Jimmy Vitale?
- Not just somebody,
Debbie Amico.
- Wow, she waited for
him all these years.
- Bad things come
to those who wait.
(laughs)
So what do you say
man, you up for this?
- You know something, I think
this is exactly what I need.
- And we have ringside seats.
(upbeat rock music)
(crowd chattering)
Who are these guys?
I hardly know any of 'em.
- Yeah I don't either.
- Where the hell's Jimmy?
- I don't know, but I'm sure
he's cooking up something.
(laughs)
Salut.
- Salut.
- Ah, oh.
Remember your 18th birthday?
- Oh yeah, how
could I forget that?
- (laughs) You got me to
hot wire the school bus.
They thought the Mazzuco sisters
we're gonna take you on
the ride of your life, pal.
- No no, it was the
ride of their lives.
(laughs)
I'm ringing in Marie Mazzuco.
Man, I was sore for a week.
- Yeah, we all were.
(laughing)
(crowd cheering and whistling)
- Catch me an ale and whatever
pleases my lady and beast.
(crowd cheering and whistling)
- [Both] It's Jimmy.
- Vinnie and Mooch.
They did make it.
I don't believe it.
- [Man] Off the horse!
- Hello sweetheart.
(palm thwacks)
(laughing)
- Hey.
- Hey!
- Hey!
- How you doin', man?
It's good to see ya.
- I can't tell you
what this means,
you guys showing
up like this, huh?
It's been too long.
- We really messed
you at the reunion.
Where were ya?
- I wanted to make it. (sighs)
Was busy.
- Ah, it's all right.
I wouldn't miss this
one for the world.
- Hey, we're gonna have the
time of our lives, I promise.
It'll be memorable.
- All right.
- Hey everybody!
Listen up.
Let's get started, huh?
Come on, come on!
(crowd applauding and cheering)
Hey Lady Godiva, honey.
Come on, bring your Lady
Godiva luck up here.
Come on.
Let's go, all right?
(chuckling)
(crowd hollering and whistling)
Okay baby, bring me some luck.
Hey blow on these, will ya?
Ooh, come on baby.
Come on baby, I
need this, oh God.
Oh!
Keep it warm here, Lady G.
I gotta get some
refreshments, okay?
Hm.
- You want to roll the dice?
(palm thwacks)
Oh!
- How'd you guys do?
- What do you think?
We were with you all the way.
- You came up with them dots.
What happened to those
shaved dice of yours?
- Ah, those were my shaved dice.
Maybe they need a closer shave.
(crowd hollering)
- Oh Jimmy.
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Hey!
This is Valerie, guys,
and Valerie is a
classically trained dancer
here to perform for you tonight.
A little music please.
Hey, I'm a free man
for another 10 hours,
I'm gonna make the most of it.
I'm getting a drink.
- [Woman] You wanna
move out of my way here?
- Hi honey.
They treating you okay?
- [Woman] Excuse me.
- Mike, look.
- [Woman] You mind
letting me through.
- It's the fun police.
- Excuse me, I believe you
have something of mine.
- Debbie.
What are you doin' here?
- Come on.
- Honey, you're messing with
a time-honored tradition here.
- A rolling pin
to the chaps is a
time-honored tradition also.
- Don't worry
about nothin', Deb.
We got it all under control.
- No, no, Vinnie
Terranova, great.
I feel a whole lot
better already.
- Really good to
see you too, Deb.
- Chicken cacciatore,
well the three stooges
are together again.
- Don't call me chicken.
I'm an adult now.
- Look, that remains to be seen.
Look I don't want this
guy having too much fun
and since you're here
I'm holding you two
personally responsible
for getting him
to the ceremony on time.
I guess even you
three can't get into
too much trouble here.
- [Man] Hey we need some
more beer over here!
- You know something
Deb, you're right.
Not here.
- Hey, what are you doin'?
- Jimmy Vitale, don't you
dare leave this building.
- Sorry honey.
- Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk.
- Woo woo woo woo woo woo.
- [Woman] Should
we go after him?
- No.
Let him go.
He's got 10 hours.
Then he's mine.
Let's go.
- Woo woo woo woo!
- Yee haw!
- [Jimmy] Where we goin'?
- [Mike] Who cares,
we're outta here.
- [Vinnie] The
night's still young.
- [Jimmy] What's the hurry?
(upbeat music)
- Woo hoo!
- Hoo hoo hoo!
- Woo hoo hoo!
- Three stooges strike again.
(hooting and hollering)
- Hey Mo.
- Hey Mo!
- [Mike] Come on, Agent
Mook, you're too slow.
- [Vinnie] (laughs)
Wait a minute.
It's been a long time
since I done this.
Gotta weigh more now.
- Come on, Mike!
Don't fall on me.
- [Vinnie] Don't fall on me.
You're both ahead
of me, hurry up.
- [Mike] I'm alone up here.
- [Jimmy] Come on Mike!
- [Mike] And nobody cares.
- [Vinnie] Come on, Mooch!
Woo hoo!
Hoo hoo hoo!
(cat meows)
Woo woo woo woo.
Come on hurry up.
- [Jimmy] Come on, you!
Come on!
- Woo!
- Come on, I think
there's a tubby coming.
- [Jimmy] Come on Mike.
- [Mike] All right, all right.
- [Vinnie] Come on.
- Woo!
- This way, this way.
(hollering)
- [Vinnie] So what are we doing?
- There's got to be a party
around here somewhere.
It's Friday night.
- Hey, we're the party.
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey let's go in over there.
- Oh, we can find a
better place than that.
Come on, let's go in the city.
- Come on!
- This is good, this is,
come on you'll love it.
Come on.
- [Jimmy] That place is a dump.
Let's go somewhere else.
Look at the line.
- Hey don't worry about it.
Watch, we'll get right in.
(lively rock music)
Hey, how you doin'?
- Fine, Mr. Terranova.
- What are you waiting for?
- Hey, is Ray here?
- He might be by later on.
- Come on.
- Come on.
(crowd chattering)
- Barkeep!
Three scotches neat, please.
- This is why I should
have stayed a bachelor.
- This is why I did
stay a bachelor.
- Kiss it goodbye, buddy.
Tomorrow morning they
nail the coffin shut.
- To Jimmy.
- Jimmy.
(glasses clink)
- To good friends, prosperity.
- Here we go.
- Jimmy, not too deep huh?
To the three stooges.
- [Together] Woo woo
woo woo woo woo woo woo.
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
- Aha, the night
stretches before us
like a polished jewel.
- (laughing) What?
- Jimmy Vitale, my pleasure.
Ladies meet my friends,
Vinnie and Mike.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- [Together] Hello.
- Barkeep, barkeep.
Get another round for
these beautiful ladies.
Put it on this gentleman's tab.
- What?
Put it on his.
- Ah, no no no.
(punchy rock music)
- Oh and then there
was Emile Calzaretta.
How's that for a moniker, huh?
Anyway Emile, he comes
over from the old country.
15, looked about 30.
Matter of fact I
think he was 30.
Anyway, he was always
picking on Vinnie and Mooch.
You know, stealing their
lunch money, things like that.
Terrorized 'em in 10th grade
until I stepped in and
straightened him out.
That's why these fellas
are totally indebted to me.
That right, boys?
- Right Jimmy.
- Anything you say, Mr. Vitale.
- See?
They owe me their lives.
- Do we ever come out on
top in one of these things?
- He has a very
selective memory.
(chuckles)
- Hey what do you say you
go get a girlfriend, hm?
And the six of us
will go into the city.
Hey Vinnie, you like
redheads or brunettes?
You've got beautiful hair,
just like my wife's.
- [Woman] Are you married?
- Not for eight hours.
- You're getting married
tomorrow morning,
and you're hitting on us?
- Relax.
Technically I'm still single.
- No, technically you are sick.
Let's get outta here.
- Girls, wait a
second, wait a min.
Oh, we coulda had so much fun.
- Well what'd you tell 'em
you were getting married for?
- Nice going, buddy.
- Ah, don't worry about it.
I know this other place where
we're guaranteed (chuckles).
Ray, Ray.
Ray, you know Vinnie Terranova?
Everybody knows
Vinnie Terranova.
Mike Cacciatore.
Guys this is Ray Spiotta,
he owns the nightclub here.
Uh, listen why don't
you get another round
of drinks, keep the party going.
I got to talk to Ray
for a second, okay?
Can we talk in your office, Ray?
- Yeah, why not.
- Okay.
- Can you guys do the three
musketeers thing again?
- No no no, no.
It's stooges, the three stooges.
(laughing)
(slow instrumental music)
- I'm glad you came
down tonight, Ray.
I want to talk to you
about our little problem.
- I'm listening.
- I'll have that money
for ya in a couple weeks.
- Didn't you say that
a couple a weeks ago?
(sighs)
- It's my slow season.
- Yeah, me too.
You know my nightclub
business is down 18%
across the boards?
With all the disease and
the drugs out of style,
it's terrible.
It's killing my business.
Hey, I see you out there with
Terranova and Cacciatore.
- Yeah we go back a long way.
- Good friends, huh?
- The best.
They're taking me out tonight.
I'm getting married
in the morning, Ray.
- No kidding, what time?
- 10 o'clock sharp.
- Hey I got an idea.
Why don't you get
your wedding present
from your pals out there?
2,200 would be
nothing to those guys.
- Yeah.
No, I can't do that Ray.
- Eh.
Suit yourself.
- Look Ray I gotta go.
They're waiting for me.
But I promise you, two weeks.
- You have the money
for me by wedding time
tomorrow morning, or it's
gonna be a very short marriage.
You understand that?
Good.
- Yeah.
(upbeat pop music)
Hey come on, let's go.
- Excuse us a minute.
- Jimmy what are
you talking about?
Look what we got
sitting back there.
- Yeah, yeah.
Now give me that tab.
- [Mike] Well where we going?
- Oh I don't know.
I'll figure out something.
I always do.
Hey what are you doing?
- [Bartender] This
card's no good.
- What are you talking about?
- It's been revoked, pal.
- It's all right,
it's all right.
We'll take care of it.
That dice game wiped me out.
- Me too.
(sighs)
(laughs)
- [Bartender] Hey, somebody's
got to pay this tab.
- [Mike] Okay see
you tomorrow, bro.
(hooting and hollering)
- [Jimmy] Come on Mike!
(horn honking)
Hey Mo, hey Mo!
(upbeat music)
Uh-oh!
- [Vinnie] Come on!
Hey maybe he can
give us a few bucks.
(laughs)
Woo-oh!
Come on!
- [Mike] Where the
hell are we goin'?
(laughing)
- [Vinnie] Almost there.
(hollering)
I can't believe we did that!
(laughing)
Look at this guy, he
makes millions of dollar
and he's skipping--
- [Mike] Shut up, Terranova.
What about you mister
big-time mobster?
Who's gonna make you pay anyway?
- [Vinnie] He'll get paid.
I'll drop the money off
for the tab tomorrow.
- [Mike] Ah, they'll lead
to the end of the world.
Credit cards are ruining
this country anyway.
- You know I don't think
that bartender knew me.
- What the hell does he
want with one, anyway?
So where we going now?
- Where can we go,
we got no money?
Say, Jimmy, got any ideas?
- Yeah, yeah I do.
(slow instrumental music)
- What is it, what is it?
(lock clanging)
- Oh, damn.
Shh shh shh.
- They put a new one on.
- Hey hey hey.
Shh, shh.
(glass clanging)
- Shh!
- Oh!
- Come on!
- Shh shh shh.
- Hey, give me a boost, come on.
I'll get the door.
- Okay.
Come on, will you stop it?
(grunting)
Shh!
Super Jimmy.
Push him in there.
Shh, shh.
- [Jimmy] You guys, get in here.
(door clangs)
- [Mike] Watch it.
Where's the light switch?
- It's around here
somewhere, hold on.
(laughing)
Is this is a dream or what?
- Yeah.
- Hey hey.
- Hey why not, huh?
Whoa, hey hey!
All right.
(upbeat music)
- Yeah!
That's three man, three.
- Try it again, try it again.
(basketballs thudding)
(shouting)
- [Jimmy] Take your pick.
- Hey.
(grunting)
(shouting)
- Slow there, Mike?
Oh, got it, I got it!
Ohh!
- Get off of him!
- [Jimmy] Ho!
- Shoot for the net, boy!
Oh that's it,
that's it. (laughs)
(coughing)
(panting)
Oh boy, I gotta lay off smoking.
- It's not the cigarettes Mooch,
it's the cushy
lifestyle you lead.
- Oh.
- Man I used to
live for gym class.
- And I used to live for
second period geometry.
- [Together] Rika Reese Spaduny.
- Yeah, (laughs).
She had some great sweaters.
Chris, do you like to push?
- All of 'em.
I liked 'em all, the
whole ball of wax.
- No no no.
You couldn't of
liked Sister Marion.
(laughs)
- Even her.
(laughing)
Man, we were the
cocks of the walk.
Anybody got in our way, bam
we took care of 'em, huh?
It was simple.
Everything was simple.
- Yeah I miss simple.
- You know I loved
walking down the halls.
The guys would get
out of the way and
the girls would check us out.
(laughs)
Check me out.
(laughs)
They were the best
days of my life.
- Well, personally I'm
glad it's all over.
I didn't like the uncertainty.
I mean, who are you
gonna go out with?
What are you gonna be?
You got the parents
talking at ya,
the teachers talking at ya.
- Yeah sure, you're glad.
You got the world on a string.
I used to.
I really used to.
I don't know how I let
it get away from me.
One minute we're the three
musketeers, you know,
the next time I turn around
you guys are stars, huh?
- Oh, geez.
- I'm still back here
cutting up tin vents.
- Come on buddy.
You did pretty good taking
over your old man's business.
- Yeah, Vitale Cool Air.
Yeah I didn't do so bad.
I was only 22 when I
took over that company.
- I remember that.
- Driving a Cadillac,
taking home 60 grand plus.
Made in the shade.
- You were set up pretty nice.
- Yeah, set up.
How come I feel like
I'm serving a sentence?
- Hey, that's why they
call 'em jobs, buddy.
- Yeah.
- [Mike] Hey, you're still
driving around a Caddy, right?
- Yeah.
A six year old Cadillac.
- (laughs) Poor guy.
- You guys don't know anything
about me anymore, do ya?
(sighs)
Well, I'll tell ya.
The business is in the toilet.
And those guys you
saw at the party?
I barely knew any of 'em.
I ain't got any friends,
except you guys.
Now I got Ray Spiotta after me.
- Hey what is this with Spiotta?
- Ah, forget it.
- Hey, you're
talking to us here.
- Yeah I know who
I'm talking to.
- What does that mean?
- I just mean I got
myself into something
and I'll get myself out.
- Since when can't you
come to your buddies?
- Hey where you been
the last eight years?
(sighs) Hey, hey I
know where you've been.
You've been out taking
care of business.
Taking care of number one.
You just haven't
been around here.
Mike, if I was gonna sue
him I woulda come to ya.
Vinnie, if I was gonna
negotiate I woulda come to you.
I gotta take care
of this one myself.
- Well Jimmy, I don't
know if this Spiotta guy
is somebody you should
be messing around with.
I mean, he could
somebody after you
to break your legs, maybe worse.
- What kind of
trouble are you in?
- I owe him $2,200.
- So why don't you
just pay him back?
- I don't have it, Vinnie.
- Your business
can't be that bad.
- There is no business, Mike.
Chapter 11.
- Does Debbie know?
- You kiddin'?
I make the girl wait nine
years to get married?
Have to cancel the
church wedding,
the one thing she
wanted in life,
and now I'm gonna tell her
on the eve of the wedding,
honey I'm broke.
Ah.
Can't do it.
- Yeah, I understand
that Jimmy but
she's gonna find out
sooner or later anyway.
- What's the sweat.
The way you guys make it sound
Ray's gonna kill me anyway.
- Oh, come on.
I'll tell you what we'll do.
We'll go find Ray, we'll
straighten the whole thing out.
- Vinnie, you're not
afraid of Spiotta, are ya?
- I'm not afraid of him.
- I'm not either.
I'll take care of it myself.
- Well Jimmy, I'm not saying
you should be afraid of him.
I'm just saying there's ways
of conducting
yourself, that's all.
- I know how to conduct myself.
Look, guys, I'm down here
on the streets, okay?
I'm not in some
Park Avenue office
and I'm not on some
mob commission.
(dramatic instrumental music)
The only thing I seem to
have left is some pride.
I can't let Ray
Spiotta push me around.
- Hey.
We are your friends.
(dramatic instrumental music)
(whistle screeches)
- This is the girl's gym
today and we got a game.
You broke in here, didn't ya?
That's trespassing.
- Lay off me, will ya lady?
I'm an attorney.
- Get out of here.
- All right, all
right, we're going.
We're going.
Where's Jimmy?
- There's another one?
I said out, before
my girls get here.
- All right already, all right.
(percussive music)
- Vin, we coulda taken her.
- I don't know man, it
would've been close.
- Where the hell's Jimmy?
- (sighs) I don't know,
we better find him.
(exhales deeply)
(sobs)
(breathing deeply)
- Judge Lenand really must
keep his schedule in tact.
We'll have to perform
the ceremony now.
- Look, we're not going anywhere
until he gets here, all right?
(door bangs)
Where is he?
- Uh, we thought he was here.
- I told you to watch him.
- We did.
- Then you didn't watch
him too good, did you?
Look, you find him or
I will make every day
of your life hell.
(palms thwack)
(gasps)
(yells)
- [Woman] Harry, give
me some eggs over easy,
some wheat toast no butter.
Make it quick, eh?
- [Man] Eggs over easy, wheat
toast no butter, no problem.
Gee.
- Look what's comin'.
- Sammy, Ray, how you doin'?
- Have a seat, Jimmy.
- [Woman] BLT on wheat.
- [Man] BLT.
- If you wanna talk, sit down.
- [Man] Miss, miss?
- Sweetheart?
We changed our minds.
Yeah we're gonna have refills
over here and a new cup.
- [Woman] Coming right up.
- What a coincidence.
We were just coming to see you.
- [Woman] Hey Harry, gimme
another BLT will you?
- Oh yeah, were you?
- You got the money?
- Look Ray, I only
got a few minutes.
I really want to
straighten this out.
- You got the money?
- I want to sign over
the family business to you.
- What, do you
think I'm ignorant,
I don't know what goes
on in the neighborhood?
You're in Chapter 11.
Don't insult me.
- It's a sign of
good faith, Ray.
- If you don't have
the 2,200 in cash
you don't have the money.
- Ray look, I don't have
time to argue about this.
I got 15 minutes
to get to city hall
or I miss my own wedding.
(scoffs)
- This is priceless.
All the time it's Ray, wait.
Ray, give me another
couple a weeks.
Ray, it's a good faith gesture.
Ray, wait.
Now you wait.
Drink your coffee.
(door bangs)
- What do you want?
- I want to see Spiotta.
- He ain't here,
come back tonight.
- You seen Jimmy Vitale?
- He was just in
here looking for Ray.
What do you want with him?
- It's business.
- He's at Ma's Diner.
- Move.
- [Man] Go ahead, help yourself.
- Sailor Hardware.
- Uncle Mike, it's Vinnie.
- Hey Vince, how you doin'?
- How fast can you
get me $10,000?
- Huh, it would amaze even you.
- Well good, amaze me.
I want it over at the Ma's
Diner in Brooklyn, you got it?
- Yeah, you got it son.
- All right.
Let's go.
- A little more coffee, please.
- [Woman] Coming up.
- This one's decaf.
Regular.
Ahhh.
Drink up.
- I already had four cups, Ray.
- Drink it.
- What is this?
Italian coffee torture?
Ray, come on, it
was a lousy $2,200.
I used to throw that
away in a weekend.
- So I heard, that's why I
thought you were a secure loan.
- My business was
going down the tubes.
I thought it would
help me get by.
It didn't.
- Family business.
(clicking tongue)
Gone the way of the Automat.
- Thanks Ray, that's a comfort.
Ray, I gotta go.
- Drink your coffee.
Why did you come here, Jimmy?
- Because I wanted to start
fresh on my wedding day
and I don't want you
coming around and Debbie
finding out that I'm
not only bankrupt
but I'm into a loan shark.
- Why couldn't you get
the money out of Terranova
or Cacciatore for that matter?
I thought you were so tight.
- I didn't ask.
- Unbelievable.
You can come to me, but
you can't go to them.
- Ray, we'll make payments,
and it'll be a memory.
Now let me go to my wedding.
- Can I get a
warmer on this one?
- Ray.
- [Woman] Be right there.
- I gotta go get married.
Now I'm gonna get up
and you're gonna have to beat
me to death to keep me here.
(door dinging)
- Hey, you guys left my
club in a hurry last night.
- We were unhappy
with the service.
- Your bartender
short pours, too.
- Nah.
- Tell him to get outta here.
Sit down.
I understand we have
a problem here, Ray.
- He owes me 2,200.
Not a huge sum, but
you're a business man,
and more than that
you're a man of respect.
In my smaller universe, so am I.
Knowing he's a friend of yours
if you tell me I should
forgive the debt, I will.
I'll do it out of
mutual respect.
Maybe some day we could do
a little business together.
- I don't think so.
- Either way, you
can't muscle me on this
'cause I'm in the right here.
- Yeah.
Thanks.
2,200, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- There's 25, interest.
- Vinnie, I can't.
- Take it Jimmy.
We'll work it out later,
now come on you got a date.
Let's go.
Come on!
Oh, sorry.
Come on.
- Good luck.
- Jimmy.
Go to her house, apologize,
and tell her what happened.
- Yeah, tell her I'm broke?
Tell her I'm into a loan shark?
- Yeah, you tell
her you're broke.
- Yeah, tell her you
were into a loan shark.
- That'll go over big.
What's Jimmy Vitale
without money?
Hey you guys wouldn't
understand, you got money.
- What the hell has
that got to do with it?
You had money when we didn't.
- And you didn't mind
helping us now and again.
- I gotta give this back.
- Jimmy, keep it.
It'll buy you some time
on your bankruptcy.
- Jimmy, look.
You get some time,
you stop by my office,
I'll set you up with
a low interest loan
to get your business
out of hock.
(sighs)
- How can I take this?
- Jimmy, you can take it
because we're your friends.
It's as simple as that.
- We're your friends, Jimmy.
(door bangs)
(sighs)
- I figured you'd be here.
You all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
- Jimmy Vitale, I can't believe
that you would do this to me.
Nine years, and you make me
stand in front of my parents,
the Justice of the Peace
and the entire world
like a fool while you sit
around drinking beer like--
- Debbie.
Debbie, I can explain it to ya.
- There's nothing
to explain Jimmy.
Nothing.
- Wait a minute, Debbie!
- Debbie, we can explain this.
- No, you let him explain it.
- Come on, sit down.
Sit, honey.
- Just let 'em work it out.
- I had to straighten out
something with Ray Spiotta.
- Jimmy, you're into
Spiotta, for how much?
- 2,200.
- Why didn't you pay him?
- Everybody with the
why didn't I pay it.
- Oh, man.
- Vitale Cool Air is bankrupt.
- So?
- What do you mean, so?
- I already knew that.
- You knew that?
- I've known all along that you
were having financial problems.
That's your problem, Vitale,
you can't ask anyone for help.
You don't tell
anyone your problems.
People can help you, Jimmy.
People that love you.
(slow instrumental music)
- You knew I was broke and you
were gonna marry me anyway?
- I wasn't marrying
your business Jimmy,
I was marrying you.
And now because of your
pride you just lost
the best thing
that you ever had.
(door slams)
- She loves me.
She really loves me.
(laughs) It's all your fault.
- [Both] Whoa what did we do?
- If you didn't kidnap
me from the stag party
it never woulda happened.
Hey Debbie wait!
Wait Debbie!
I love you!
(door slams)
- I don't, what is it me?
Why does this have a
familiar ring to it?
- You know what, these
strolls down memory lane
are taking a toll on
that old gang of ours.
- Yeah, that's for sure.
If memory serves, I remember
the last time we took a stroll
we almost dumped the
current Mrs. Cacciatore
off a rollercoaster, and
you ended up simultaneously
in the hospital
and at the altar.
Denise, I love you, has
turned into Debbie I love you.
- Well look, at least
I had an excuse.
Daneli hit me in
the head with a gun.
- Mm-hmm.
- Don't smirk, pal.
It's gonna happen
to you too one day.
- Yeah, well, if it does
you're not gonna find me
running down the street
screaming, "I love you Rosalee"
or whatever the
hell it's gonna be.
- Yeah, well you'll
be real surprised.
Marriage has a lot of problems,
there's no doubt about that,
but you shouldn't
duck it Terranova.
- I'm not ducking it, I'm
just not romanticizing it.
- Like we romanticize about
a night out with the boys?
- Thomas Wolfe, my friend.
It's never as good as
you think it's gonna be.
- Yeah, I guess
you always wanna be
some place safe and
comfortable, like high school.
- Yeah, like high school.
Except it's only safe and
comfortable in retrospect.
You know I really
had a ball tonight,
but I wouldn't want to go back.
Things are pretty
good right now.
I mean, it has its downside,
but it's what I chose.
I'll live with it.
- I gotta agree with ya.
Like I said, I prefer
to be an adult.
Just do me a favor, huh buddy?
Try not to choose a life
that's too perilous, okay?
- I'll do my best.
- You ever gonna tell me
who this Uncle Mike guy is?
- Well that's a
long story, Mike.
Maybe I'll tell you
about it sometime, yeah.
- All right, okay.
You know, whenever you're ready.
Listen, I gotta get going.
Now listen man, now
you take it easy.
If you ever need anything you
give me a buzz, all right?
- Okay.
- And uh, Terranova, you're
talking to the Mooch here
so don't snow me man.
You're the biggest
romantic I know.
- Yeah, yeah right.
Okay, get outta here will ya?
I'll see ya later.
- Yeah.
- Take care of yourself.
(sighs)
(peppy instrumental music)
Denise, I love you.
Debbie, I love you.
Hey Rosalee, I love you.
Nah.
(sniffs) Never happen.
(church bells tolling)
- [Man] Congratulations!
- [Woman] Congratulations!
Congratulations.
- [Man] Congratulations.
- [Crowd] Congratulations!
(crowd chattering and laughing)
(crowd cheering and whistling)
- Aw, Jimmy.
(laughing)
- I can't tell you how
much this means to me.
- Jimmy, Debbie,
congratulations.
- Congratulations, you two.
So Deb, what's the deal?
You still mad at us, or what?
- What are you kidding?
Jimmy told me that
you guys lent him
the money for the wedding.
- For the wedding.
- This is like a dream to me.
I mean Jimmy throws
me the biggest
wedding reception in Brooklyn.
I love you guys to death.
- Wait a minute, what is this?
You love you us to death?
- Yeah, to death!
- Then I guess you
won't miss Jimmy
if he celebrates his
nuptials with us, will you?
- You wouldn't dare!
(laughs)
- Woo woo woo woo woo.
- Nuk nuk nuk nuk nuk.
(upbeat instrumental music)
(sighs)
(laughs)
(phone beeping)
(phone ringing)
- [Mike] Yeah, hello?
- Yeah, Mike.
It's Vinnie.
- [Mike] Yeah.
- I hope I didn't wake you up.
Listen, you heard from
Jimmy Vitale lately?
(lively instrumental music)
(dramatic instrumental music)