Willow (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript

We have a sayin' about people
who make empty threats.

They make nice hats.

By the child's a hundredth day,
they get seared with it's family's mark.

This is my father's
mark. The mark of Kael.

I found the whereabouts
of the Kymerian Cuirass.

That's why I sent
Madmartigan in search.

I'm afraid I've sent
him to his death.

What happened at
Nockmaar, that wasn't me.

No one gets out
of Skellin alive.

- Skellin?
- Dread Mines of Skellin. In the mountains.

What happened to you?



After 200 moons, my
sister has come home.

I am, totally,
desperately in love with you.

No, no! Kit! Kit! Kit! Kit!

Trolls.

Airk.

Join us.

Embrace your power.

No. Definitely not.

Spooky voice, scary
city. No, thanks.

What was that...

That is crazy.

Not today. No, thank you.

All right.

Here we go.



You okay?

Wish I had my
staff, or the wand.

Some cainroot for this
thrumming headache.

Come on.

Your wits, my sprightliness.

We're gonna be outta
here in no time.

I'm sorry.

That's just what everyone says
when they get thrown in here.

Isn't that right, guys?

Didn't I almost say exactly those
same words when they tossed me in?

Well, how long ago was that?

Well, let's see.
What's today? Wednesday?

I'd say about ten
years, give or take.

Really tried those first few.

The worst part isn't getting caught,
or the punishment once you are.

The worst part is believing that
next time you're gonna get it right.

I suppose, in the end, it's hope
that really breaks your spirit.

Downer.

And I'm supposed to be in
charge of morale around here.

So what did the two of you do

to get thrown in here with
the rest of us bad apples?

Did you knife somebody?

Something juicy?

They separated us from the
others when we got here.

I don't know why.

Well, you'll find
out soon enough, I'm sure.

Who are you?

I'm sorry.

Where are my manners?

Name's Madmartigan.

Hi, there.

I am Lord Sarris, chief
administrator here at Skellin.

This ill-tempered crank on my
left is my brother, Falken.

Say hello, Falken.

They look puny and weak.

Chop them up and
feed 'em to the dogs.

Nice. Real nice.

Forgive him.

He's not appealing,

but he speaks his mind, and
I suppose that's something.

Anywho, we gather you're
not from the Wildwood.

What makes you say that?

Puny, weak, feeble,
frail, runty.

I'd have said your clothes,

which are stylish yet practical,

virtues not typically
ascribed to tree scum.

So, where you from? Back east?

I'm Kit Tanthalos of Tir Asleen.

Seriously? Why would
you tell him that?

Tir Asleen, huh?

Schmancy.

Never been myself.
Always meant to go but...

I can make some arrangements
to get you there.

You know, I'm
not wild about Nelwyn.

Please, don't speak
till you're spoken to.

Got it? Thanks, that'd be great.

So what's a nice girl from Tir
Asleen doing in the Wildwood?

- Looking for someone.
- Right. You find 'em?

Not yet.

But I will.

Right after I get outta here.

Much as I appreciate pluck,
the unvarnished truth is this.

You're gonna spend the
rest of your life here,

and no one is
coming to save you.

One person
sneaking in there? Maybe.

Five of us? Impossible.

I'm begging you, let me do this.

I'll get in, get 'em out,
meet you on the other side.

You're not going
anywhere without us.

We're rescuing Willow.

And Kit.

And all the other
people they took.

Cut down any Trolls
that get in our way.

She doesn't mean undermining
their confidence either, do you?

So, when you fought your
way out the last time

and slaughtered
all those Trolls,

you went right out the front?

Yeah, about that...

When I said "slaughtered," I
didn't actually mean "slaughtered."

More like I slaughtered
their pizzazz.

Their what?

- What are we walking through?
- It's best not to get too specific.

- Pretty sure it's Troll poop.
- What'd I just say?

I have had ten
years to think about

exactly how I would get
in and out of this rank,

cesspool without anyone
realizing I was ever even here.

Ow, my coccyx!

How much do you really
know about the Crone?

'Cause there are misconceptions.

Is she the eldritch nightmare
that people make her out to be?

Yes.

But she has some
positive qualities, too.

She taught us how to refine the vermiscus,
turn it into elixir, the good stuff.

- Yes!
- Ooh.

Look, you guys
gonna torture me...

Or... Or what?

Torture you?

Well, what do you
think we are, animals?

We only want to incentivize
you to work with us

in procuring that which our
mistress desires above all else.

Hold still, hold still.

No, no, ooh, yeah,
yeah, yeah, you are.

Come to papa.

Guys, is this really necessary?

No, no,
no, no. Come on.

You don't have to do that.
She's gonna cooperate.

We know she was with you when
you fled into the Wildwood.

Who?

Elora Danan.

Brought him
back, I could've understood

why every time he chose you!

You good?

What do you mean?

Are we good?

We're fine.

Great.

I just feel like we've left
some stuff, I don't know...

Unresolved?

And maybe you still have some
doubts about my character,

which are totally valid.

I mean, my dad did tell me
to murder Boorman, so...

- I knew it!
- Don't sweat it, pal.

He's a first-rate shmoog, so...

But I just feel like we were
making a real connection,

before I overshared.

I really don't think that this
is the time or the place, do you?

If you're asking if I'd rather do this
in private than in a mine full of Trolls?

100%, that's an easy yes. But
who knows when that'll be?

Or we could just
not talk about it.

I was creeped out, 'cause I
thought you'd ganked your brother.

I accept that you were possessed

but I don't wanna have
a feelings conversation.

I wanna concentrate on
sorcerering, saving Kit and Willow,

getting out of
here, finding Airk,

and then going home and taking
a very long, very hot bath.

Uh, guys?

- Should it be doing that?
- Uh, no, that is definitely unusual.

Elora, look. The wand.

Why is it doing that?

Well, make it stop.

How?

Stop shaking...

Avagdu!

- Maybe just relax.
- I am relaxed! Okay?

You don't sound relaxed.

I'm telling you, this has
nothing to do with me.

I don't know what's going
on, but I don't have...

- No.
- Any... Any...

No, no, no, no!

Gesundheit.

Tunnel collapse?

There's activity
on Coronet level.

We may have some
instigators on our hands.

Possibly even rabble-rousers.

I deplore those
who rouse rabble.

We know, sir.

I've dispatched a sentinel
unit to the distillery.

No.

It's their friends.

They've come to liberate them.

- Elora Danan is here!
- Elora Danan has come!

Terrible at anticipating the
second half of my sentences.

Go, go, go. Let's bag
some fancy Daikini.

- You're Willow.
- And you're not Madmartigan.

No, you're not.

Yes I am, kiddo.

I am your father, and I've
missed the hell out of you.

All right, fine, I'm not.

So, why are you
pretending to be?

That is a long and delightful story,
but not one we have time for now.

All right, then. Who are you?

I know who he is.

He's Allagash.

Fought alongside
Madmartigan at Land's End.

- Guilty.
- Oh.

My... My dad told me about you.

You were the only knight in Galladoorn
that was dumber than he was.

Braver. I'm sure
he meant braver.

Besides, I'm the only one
who knows where he is.

Wait, but...

But Boorman told me
that he was betrayed

and murdered by a member of his
crew for the Kymerian Cuirass.

Of course he did.

So, you're saying he lied?

No, no. Madmartigan
was betrayed.

We all were.

By Boorman.

This is ridiculous. This
is never gonna work.

Its genius is its simplicity.

Hurry up, they'll be here soon.

I knew we weren't the only
ones they were taking,

but I had no idea
it was this many.

Why do they need so much?

They turn it into this...

Makes 'em stronger, faster,

like the stuff that was leaking
out of Ballantine, Merrick, him.

Evil.

If we
capture Elora Danan,

do you realize what
this would mean for us?

I do.

The Crone would reward us
with whatever we desired.

Cashmere, Galladoorn,
Tir Asleen even.

Yeah, 'cause when
I said, "I do,"

what I really meant was, "Explain
it to me like I'm an imbecile."

We gotta move, people.

I have to save as many as I can.

I need to find Kit.

I promised I'd get them
to the Immemorial City.

You have a family now,
and when this is all over,

you're gonna have to decide whether
you're with her, or with us.

How are you gonna
get them all out?

Well, if it goes as well
as I'm hoping it will,

straight out the front door,

and I'll be takin' a lot
more than their pizzazz.

Right. 'Cause I
already took that.

Find your friends,
get 'em out alive.

This might be the only chance
you ever get to make it right.

Scorpia, they're
coming. We need to go.

Here, hey.

Hand me that snout probe on the
tray. I can get outta this cage.

I think the Trolls were right.

Yeah, the others are here and
they're trying to find us.

If I find out Elora's been using
the wand without my permission,

you know I'm gonna be so miffed.

Your father's alive.

You help me outta here,
I'll take you to him.

Come on, kid. Toss it.

Yeah!

A-ha!

All right.

Now a little la di da.

Obviously, you're lost.

Wrong again, smarty pants.
I know exactly where I'm going.

Oh, come on.

Yes! Ooh! Yeah!

No!

Might have been a
little premature.

Ah! Oh, God. Hey! I'm slipping.

I'm slipping, hurry up.

Hurry up.

Jeez.

Ah! Put your back
into it. There you go.

Lift. Lift.

You couldn't have just
waited, like, one more second?

In retrospect, I should have.

- Thanks for saving my life.
- Okay.

I guess you're not as dumb
as Madmartigan said you were.

Right?

- No, you're dumber.
- Hey!

Okay, so you have two eyes.

- Of course I do.
- What were you thinkin'?

You could've pulled
her down with you.

You know, for what it's worth,

Mads always said you were the
most courageous man he ever knew,

with the biggest heart,
but you worry too much.

Yeah?

You're telling us Mads has been
in Skellin all these years?

Well, not in Skellin exactly.

It's complex.

There are doors and
passages in these caves

that even the Trolls
don't know about.

They lead
to ancient places.

Now, to be honest,

bet Mads would be happier if I
led you out instead of deeper in.

You shouldn't have
told us anything

because if he's here I'm
not leaving without him.

You good?

- Hi, how's it going?
- Hey, how are ya?

I'm okay.

- Hey ya.
- How are ya?

You okay?

Is that you?
Are you doing that?

Elora?

Unclench. Seriously,
you're gonna kill us all.

When I concentrate on the
next, sometimes I don't sneeze at all.

I'm not gonna sneeze.

Don't be ashamed.

- I didn't...
- Come on.

Hurry up, follow me.

Uh...

- Are we close?
- Uh...

Don't worry, you'll be
with Kit in no time.

You're lost.

No, just
getting my bearings.

You're too tall. No one
will believe you're a Troll.

I sell it
with my performance.

Unlike you three. Not
even remotely convincing.

This damn day.

Got word of a spill
on Triton level.

I need a Krom unit supervisor down
there to oversee the mop crew.

- Get fit.
- Me?

No.

Thank you though.

What did you say?

I'd love to,
but they've got me going up to,

you know, fire up the troops,

'cause I guess the spirits have been
low since they shortened our breaks.

I gave you an order, supe.

Right. Of course. I was kidding.

Lead the way, sir.

Help.

He'll be fine.
He's quick on his feet.

- Hi. Which way is the loo?
- What?

- Ooh!
- Come on.

I thought you said
no one ever escapes.

I was going through a
bit of a rough patch,

doin' some soul-searching, feelin'
kinda lethargic and stuck, you know?

That was like eight minutes ago.

Well, kind of a lot's
happened since then.

I'm with you guys now. I'm back!

We'll find Madmartigan, we
get the heck outta here,

and finally get back to pursuing
my true passion, songwriting.

Freedom!
I'm free. I'm free...

This guy's insane.

Legs not
working yet. Ow! Oh!

Find them!

Whatever you do,
don't look down.

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

Except, I'm one of those people,

you tell me not to look or
think about something, then I...

I have to look and
think about it, okay?

Brought him back,
and I could've finally understood

why every time he chose you!

You were right.

I shouldn't have looked.

Come on. Come on.

No, no, no, wait!

Did we just lose
Cherlindrea's wand?

Uh-huh.

Yikes.

Willow's gonna kill me.

Yeah, he might
actually kill you.

Not helpful, Boorman.

But maybe just don't
mention it straight away.

Come on.

So...

Is it lunch time yet?

What were you saying?

Just if you guys fought together
in the Arkreeshian Wars...

Yeah.

Why weren't you
around when I was...

I mean, when I
was, like, growing?

Mads deserted after the
Battle at Land's End,

ran off to chase
fortune and glory.

Took a lot to
forgive him for that.

- For breaking his oath?
- Yeah, what?

No, for not inviting
me to go with him.

Okay!

Nearly got a mace in the face.

Get down there.

- Right. Move on.
- Okay, come on.

- What was that?
- I don't know.

Anyhow, I was passed out
drunk in a Hazelton...

friendship parlor when Mads
tracked me down after 20 years,

asked me to join with him
for one more adventure.

To find the Cuirass.

Yeah.

Had I'd known I'd be spending
ten years in a crow's cage,

I would've politely declined.

But, you know, what can I say?
He's my brother, I love him.

Me too.

For all the trouble he
used to get me in to,

I really could've
used him on this one.

It doesn't look like this
goon's goin' anywhere.

Doesn't seem so.

- What do you think?
- I don't know.

Damn it. There's two things I
hate, and one of 'em is killing.

Do you think He'll put
this weapon down and walk away?

Probably not, but that's okay

I'll deal with him in seconds
flat Then we'll go and eat a rat

What is wrong with you?

Here.

Hey, buddy, any chance you'll put
your weapon down and walk away?

Didn't think so.

Hey, guys, come on.

What's the other thing?

- That you hate.
- Olives.

Really?

I love olives.

Three years
of searching the world,

vague clues, dead ends, finally
led us here, to a hidden doorway.

Doorway to what?

Wiggleheim's tomb.

Legendary Nelwyn adventurer,
raconteur, darts champion.

They say he's buried with all the
treasures from his adventures,

- including, possibly the Kymerian Cuirass.
- The Kymerian Cuirass.

Never seen your
father so excited,

even more than that time
we were with those three...

Yeah.

He thought of Boorman like a
son, would've died for him.

So when he betrayed us
and stole the Lux...

Broke his heart.

Come on.

What happened here?

Fire.

Do you actually know
where we're going?

Yeah, 'cause this
doesn't feel right.

It is. We're almost there.

Almost where?

Wiggleheim's tomb.

Okay, before you two
completely flip out,

if I'd taken you to the crow's
cages, we would've ended up in one.

I know it doesn't seem
like it right now,

but everything I've done
has been for Kit and Willow.

The only way we're
gonna ever find them,

save them, and get them
outta this place alive

is if I'm wearing
the Kymerian Cuirass.

- I knew it.
- Unbelievable.

What happened when
you found the door?

The Trolls had us cornered.

I fought them off
so he could go in.

They were only interested in
the legendary Madmartigan,

so when they caught me, I gave
them his name instead of mine

so they'd stop looking
and he could...

save the world.

Now, that was ten years ago.

I don't know what's on the
other side of that door

or what's keeping him from coming
back, but I'm gonna find out.

And I'm comin' with you.

- How do you get outta this place?
- Oh, God.

I'm spinnin' out, J.

No. No.

Yeah.

And it's not the
first time either.

This panicky feeling happens
whenever I get close to...

I really thought I was
starting to figure it out.

What?

Magic.

Yeah.

But it's like, the harder I try
to control it, the more I just...

I feel like it's slipping away.

And then I'm... I'm spinning.

- I don't...
- No.

It's not you, okay?

- Okay.
- It's this place.

Yeah.

No.

Definitely...

It's me.

This is your fault.

Uh, untrue.

I'm so sorry.

Don't be.

You're worried about Kit.

I should've known he lied.
It's all he ever does.

Let's all agree that we're
somewhat culpable for something,

and maybe just try and concentrate
on finding the secret door, yeah?

Which should be here somewhere.

Think there's another tunnel
back there that we didn't try.

It's worth a shot.

Wait! Just...

Please. Wait.

I can do this.

I can save everyone.

I can fix it.

Fix what?

The biggest mistake of my life.

- If I'd just...
- Boorman.

Big sack of potatoes!

It's been a long time.

Traitor.

Uh, where's the wand?

Look, I may or may not have,
well, kind of, like, dropped it.

What?

She dropped it to save me...

- Yeah, exactly.
- Shush, you.

And the staff? What,
you drop that too?

No. Graydon has that.

And where's Graydon?

Supervising a spill on
Triton level, probably.

- You are in serious trouble, young lady.
- Yeah, I know.

- The hair!
- Not the hair!

- I kinda missed you.
- Who cares about your hair?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Missed you too... In a way.
- Hey.

Stop it! Stop it!

You puckered old bergencoif!

You spineless little zudcudder.

Come on, guys. Language.

- Sorry. Sorry, ladies.
- I'm sorry.

I prayed you'd still be alive

so I would have the pleasure
of killing you myself.

I'm right here.

Buffet's open, beanpole.

Grab a tray.

Beanpole? Yeah, well, I've
actually put on quite a lotta bulk.

You know what, you have. You've
gotten bigger, you look good.

Well, thanks.

It's diet mainly actually, a
little bit of torture endurance...

- Whatever he told you, it's a lie.
- You stole the Lux Arcana.

Back from him!

He got Blaylock and Mookie
killed. He betrayed us, he...

He betrayed Madmartigan.

Come on.

This guy will say anything.

That was you, huh? That was him.

You think I've been here for ten
years, 'cause I like it balmy, huh?

You were his squire.

And you left him to die.

I know.

I would've stayed
with him till the end.

I should have.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I think there's someone coming.

Trolls.

They caught me
here the last time.

They must've know
I'd come back here.

They're so smart. Damn it.

What's the quickest
way out of here?

- The doorway.
- Yeah.

Put your arm in here.

- Me? Really?
- Come on, yeah.

Put your hand in there
and pull the lever.

Really?

Trust me.

Good work.

Stay put.

Here we go. Solving
elaborate booby traps.

Yeah, I don't see a secret door.

That's because...

You don't know how to look.

A big head. Great.
Where's the treasure?

Through
the ages unremembered,

I have tested those who entered.

Seeking fortune, fame and glory,

hoping those might
change their story,

but the greatest treasure I ever found
was the love and laughter all around.

What a lovely sentiment, huh?

Though should
riches be your heart's desire,

the answers I shall now require.

And if, by chance, you don't reply,
in my tomb you all shall die.

Hang on. Did he just
say that we'd all die?

He did say that.

Perfect.

So I pass from sire to heir,
and each of brothers takes his share.

A gift or curse I may be,
used by others more than thee.

- Anybody?
- It's a riddle, I'm good at these.

Great. You got the answer?

Wait, wait, wait.

A name.

What?

- Yeah?
- That's the answer.

We're goin' with... "A name?"

Congratulations.

We're in. We did it!

If once
more you do succeed,

- my vault of treasures is yours indeed.
- Oh.

Where whatever
be your heart's appeal,

awaits you beyond his seal.

Come on, come on. Team
Allagash. We got this.

All right, Wiggleheim,
give us your best shot.

Beggars have
what wise men crave,

but both shall take
it to their grave.

- I don't know.
- No?

Hmm.

Seems perhaps
you need more time,

or if you wish, I'll
repeat my rhyme.

- Seems perhaps you need more time...
- Shut up!

or if you
wish, I'll repeat my rhyme.

Seems perhaps you
need more time,

or if you wish, I'll repeat my rhyme.

What wise men crave...

Seems perhaps
you need more time,

or if you wish, I'll repeat my rhyme.

Hey, will you show some respect
and stop whacking Wiggleheim?

Seems perhaps
you need more time,

or if you wish, I'll repeat my rhyme.

You don't happen
to know some spell,

or any magic that might
override this thing, do you?

Not without my staff,
or Cherlindrea's wand.

All right.

Seems perhaps
you need more time,

or if you wish, I'll
repeat my rhyme.

I'm tellin' you, he is
not who he says he is.

He's... Well, he's a real jerk.

Who you gonna believe?

Two-bit criminal with no
conscience or loyalty to anyone,

or the world's last
greatest troubadour?

Listen to this.

Little monkey, little
monkey Come and sit across my lap

I'll pet you, run my fingers...

Okay. Your songs stink!

How dare you, sir!

I've gotten much better.

Yeah? Doesn't sound
like it to me.

I've got it!

It's "nothing."

The answer is "nothing."

Get off.
Oh, you idiot.

Where is it? Where
is it?

Here.

Kit.

Dad?

Can you hear me?

He didn't take his
sword.

You can't take anything.

Not in there.

Kit.

I'm going.

No.

I need to.

I need
you to listen to me.

- If you do, you can never come back.
- I don't care.

- Uh, I won't let you.
- Yeah, are you gonna stop me?

We both are.

Kit, we have to get out of here.

You can still save Airk.

Kit, please.
I need your help right now.

Stop.

Dad.

- Kit, please. Kit.
- Let go of me.

- Dad!
- Kit.

Dad!

Dad! Dad!

Where's Allagash?

He's gone.

He got the Lux, too.

We need to
get out of here now.

Hi there.

Which one of you is Elora Danan?

BOORMAN, JADE, AND ELORA: I am.

All right, ya know what?

Take both of them,
ugh, kill the others.

Hey, guys.

What are
you gonna do, peck?

Kill all of us?

Don't call me a peck.

I say do it, Willow.

Flash fry these furry framps.

Seize them.

Sarris!

Recognize these?

Not really.

I'm here to even the odds.

Come on. Come on!

Let her go!

Yeah.

I thought you were smarter
than this, Madmartigan.

You've been wrong about
something for ten years.

Really? What's that?

I'm not Madmartigan.

Then who the hell are you?

- Chloe Allagash's brave little man.
- What?

And I was just
starting to like you.

Shut up!

- Can I help you?
- Yeah.

How's your day?

I lost the wand.

- Shit.
- I know.

What are you doing?

Damn thing doesn't work.

I put the Lux in and nothing.

Ha! Maybe a lifetime of lying, cheating,
stabbing your friends in the back

made you, somehow, I don't
know, unworthy of its power?

There's only one way to find
out if it'll work for you, kid.

More Trolls coming.

- What's the quickest way out of here?
- Through that gate.

Go. Go.

Your father could've
killed me but he didn't,

not because he didn't want to.

- What? We have to go right now.
- Listen to me!

He didn't kill me because
I think he thought that

someday I'd cross paths with
you, your brother, your mother...

God, I had the hots for her.

He thought I'd be able
to tell you that...

Well, tell me what?

He went off to fight
whatever's down there

'cause he believed one of you would
protect what matters most up here.

What matters most?

Elora Danan.

Now get outta here.

Come on.

Ha!

Bring it.

That's it.

I hope to hell she made it out.

She did.

You think?

I know.

Where's Allagash?

Oh, bummer.

I think I see the way out.

Okay, great.

And how do we get there?

Kit, come on.

Kit, we have to keep
going. It's gonna collapse.

Then make it stop.

I don't know how.

You two, please
leave it for now.

You started this.

I didn't mean to.

All that power, and
no self-control.

- I was...
- Guys!

- I was trying to help.
- Yeah, of course you were.

That's what you always
want, is to help, right?

To...

To find Airk, and to save Graydon,
just rescue us all.

I... I heard his voice.

He was calling to me.

To me!

And I could've got him,

I could've brought him back, and
I could've finally understood

why every time he chose
you instead of me!

Elora! Please!

But now I can't.

- Please.
- Uh, hello?

Or what?

What? You'll kill me?

Kit, Elora, come on!

Kit, what are you doing?

You're tearing everything down.

- You're right.
- Kit!

It's all my fault.

You know...

Blame me, hate me, just please,
can you just do it somewhere else

because if we stay here
we're both gonna...

Kit! No! No! Kit! No!

Kit!

No! No! No! Kit! Kit!

Kit! Kit!

- Vantage abhor turmach.
- Kit. Can you hear me?

Please, Willow.

- Vantage abhor turmach.
- Kit, stay up.

Vantage abhor turmach.

Please, Willow, please.

Vantage abhor turmach.
Vantage abhor turmach.

No! Break it!

- Break it, Willow!
- Vantage abhor turmach.

No! No! No! No! No!

No.

It's yours.

Vantage abhor turmach.

Vantage abhor turmach.

Vantage abhor turmach.

Vantage abhor turmach.

How?

That's impossible.

Hey!

Anybody out there?

Anybody?

Anybody?

Help!

Anybody?

Who are you?

Are you real?

I think so.

Are you?

Are you the reason I'm here?

But whoever brought
you, brought me too.

So...

Are you gonna...

let me out?