Willow (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript
Bavmorda's spirit survived.
In me, in your
brother, and in you.
Be careful.
The prince is alive.
A prisoner of the
Withered Crone,
who dwells in the Immemorial City
that lies beyond the Shattered Sea.
Bone Reavers! Ride!
Boorman, you're
supposed to be dead.
You're thinkin' of someone else.
Ha!
My family was headed
to the Mothers' Gate.
I was the only
one that survived.
JADE'S MOTHER: Jade, run!
What happened to Ballantine
is gonna happen to me.
And you guys are
gonna have to stop me.
What was Ballantine
gonna do to me?
What Bavmorda started
when you were a baby.
The Ritual of the
Thirteenth Night.
Banishing your soul to a
realm of perpetual suffering.
Furrock!
You can still save him.
- I don't know how.
- Yes, you do.
Take the girl.
Kill the others.
Ah!
What the hell is that?
Don't worry about it.
How long can they
keep this up for?
The Crone won't let them rest till
they have Elora and have killed us.
If only they took the
time to get to know us.
Where to now, Captain?
We can't outrun them,
so where can we go?
Into the Wildwood.
But, what about the, you
know, perils of the Wildwood?
What perils?
People say there's something in the air,
the trees, the water, that makes you...
Never wanna leave.
Lose your will to do anything.
Trust me. We are not spending any
more time in there than we need to.
Yeah, no way.
If anybody has any better ideas,
I'm sure we'd all love to hear them.
Run!
Go!
Key is vigilance.
Stay sharp.
The Wildwood is seductive,
it lures you in with
its sights and sounds.
The next thing you know,
you're officiating weddings and
dog-sitting for casual acquaintances.
Well, that's not gonna happen.
Personally, I'm still
worried about the perils.
The Bone Reavers that killed my
family fled into the Wildwood.
Maybe they're still here...
somewhere.
This wand is a splinter
from the Great Tree
at the center of all things.
Can I just, you know, try it?
To see if it even works
for me. Maybe it won't.
It will.
But you're not ready.
There's a strict system
of magical pedagogy...
Ew...
It means wisdom or knowledge.
Before you can wield this wand, you
must master the four pillars of...
I grew the eckleberry bush,
which, apparently, was amazing.
And we made that salve and,
you know, cured Graydon.
Probably.
Now, I just have to ace
concentration and divination.
No sweat.
Divination, interpreting the vibrations
of the universe, and seeing the future,
nearly impossible for even the
most accomplished sorcerer.
Can you divinate?
On occasion, I have been known
to see visions of things to come.
Was I in them?
Well, let's start
with concentration.
With proper focus,
something you don't have...
I'm trying.
You can move objects with your
mind, manipulate elemental forces,
even transform people.
What? What are you doing?
I'm using my mind to remove
that stick from your butt
and transform you into someone
who will let me use the wand.
- Is it working?
- No.
In the wrong hands, Cherlindrea's
wand is a powerful instrument
of unimaginable destruction.
Got the ghoulies, huh?
What?
The ghoulies. You know, little
bugs buzzin' around your head,
telling you to steal some flowers,
pass gas quietly, if at all,
generally make a
fool of yourself
in front of a certain
fair-haired, doe-eyed chosen one
who, maybe, thinks of
you as more of a friend.
I don't have the ghoulies.
Okay. Great.
Means I don't have to show you
how to get her to like you back.
I mean, is that even something
you would know about?
Graydon, bubby,
women are the central
preoccupation of my life.
And many a knee weakens
and pulse quickens
at the mere mention of
Thraxus "Relaxus"...
Boorman, you
cheddar-headed goob.
If this turns out to be another
one of your side quests,
so help me, I'm going
to cut out your heart.
See that? Passion it evokes?
Yeah, but how do you do it?
How do you get that passion?
Okay, first of all,
the most important thing to
understand about the fairer sex,
and this is gonna sound counterintuitive,
but trust me, it's true.
- Okay.
- They love it, they love it when you...
When you what?
Boorman, what do they love?
No, no. Boorman, finish that
sentence. What do they love?
- I'm not joking.
- Listen, guys.
I know you all have your doubts about
my integrity, motives, whatever,
but I'm begging you to trust
me when I tell you that,
no matter what happens
next, I have a plan,
and everything will work out
if you all just remain...
calm.
Boorman.
Lori.
Toth's first name is Lori,
but, for some reason,
he's insecure about it.
Yeah, own it, Lori. You
know, make it yours.
Now, now, boys. Play nice.
You don't look dead.
Funny story.
Well, not ha-ha funny.
More like a "ain't life
funny" kind of funny.
You can imagine my surprise
when Toth came back
and said he'd run down
a Tir Asleen cutout,
four kids, and a beanpole that
looked exactly like Thraxus Boorman.
You are entitled
to an explanation.
No one gets out
of Skellin alive.
Ever.
- Skellin?
- Dread Mines of Skellin.
In the mountains.
Run by the Trolls.
What can I say? I guess that
makes me the somebody who did.
I'm going to enjoy this.
Well, if you're thinkin' what
I'm thinkin' you're thinkin,
so am I.
I doubt that very much.
Take him to my tent and
make sure he's well tied up.
I don't know. See, that kind of
sounds like we're on the same page.
And the others?
Do you want 'em,
or should we just fire up the
old skull-boiling cauldron?
I'm Kit Tanthalos of Tir Asleen.
I'm Queen Sorsha's daughter.
Scorpia.
Well, actually, it's Her Sublime Eminence,
Mistress Magnificūs Venoma Scorpia,
but Scorpia's fine.
My brother was abducted
from our castle.
Wasn't us.
- Wasn't, was it?
- Mm-mmm.
It was servants of
the Withered Crone.
We're going beyond
the Shattered Sea.
To rescue him.
If you could find it in
your hearts to let us go,
I am sure my mother
would repay the favor.
And you can keep Boorman.
He's, like, the worst.
You're wasting your breath.
They don't have a whit
of mercy about them,
and they're too stupid to realize
what you're offering them.
Maybe we won't fire up the
ol' skull pot just yet.
Lock the Nelwyn and the pretty
fella down in the Borough.
- Gently.
- Okay.
- Toss these two in the Rattler.
- Wait.
But keep this one here.
- What'll you do to her?
- She'll make good sport.
Jade!
Firstly, can I just
say, you look wowza.
Haven't aged a day in...
What's it been, 80 moons?
You have.
I remember a lean, hungry
kid, so eager to please.
Still eager to please.
I thought you were dead.
I wept.
Like, a lot or just...
Huh. Great shot!
I was aiming a touch higher.
What happened to you?
- Alone at last, huh?
- Hmm?
No, uh, you're right. I just...
It's good to spend a little
one-on-one time together.
Without the constant
interruption of the groupthink.
We are not spending
one-on-one time together.
- We're trying to find a way out of here.
- Sure, yeah, of course.
It's just training, um, with
Elora takes up a lot of your time.
Speakin' of which, do you think
that she's ignoring me? A little?
You tried to exile her
into another dimension.
In my experience,
ladies tend to be
a little less trusting
after that sort of thing.
Right, but... but
I'm not that guy.
I was just briefly
possessed by that guy,
which is unfortunate, 'cause I feel
like we had a connection, and I...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold
it right there, Graydon.
She is Elora Danan,
Empress of the Nine Realms,
destined to save the world.
She doesn't have time to
connect with you or anyone else.
So you're saying
saving the world and having a
relationship are mutually exclusive?
You've gotta find a balance
between personal and professional.
Exactly.
What am I saying?
No. I mean, yes.
You've gotta stop thinkin'
about her in that way.
Well, what if I can't, Willow?
Well, you have
to... be kidding me.
What is that?
It's Brownies.
Oh, what are they
gonna do to her?
- I'm sure she'll be okay.
- How could you possibly be sure of that?
I don't know. It's just
a thing people say.
They wear people's
skulls as masks!
And they're gonna kill her.
You know, I believe that love is the
most powerful force in the universe.
Wait, what?
I said love is the most
powerful force in the universe.
That's how I know
we're gonna save Airk.
- Are you kidding?
- No?
My best friend is being tortured right
now and you're talking to me about love?
I'm just saying, I know
what you're going through.
Oh, right, 'cause you rolled around in
the grass with my brother a few times?
Jade is my...
We're friends.
Come on. You see the way
that she looks at you,
protects you, frets over you,
came with us 'cause of you.
We pretend not to know, sometimes
even convince ourselves we don't know,
but deep down, we know.
I feel sorry for her.
For loving someone who
can't love her back.
You don't know the first
thing about her, or me.
Maybe not. But I know how
we're gonna get out of here.
With this.
How did you get out of Skellin?
The only way I could.
I fought my way out.
Once I sated my bloodlust,
I descended the face
of that mountain.
Wounded, freezing.
All that mattered was
getting back here.
And I would've made it, too,
if I hadn't stopped to assist
those stranded travelers.
- Hey, sugar buns.
- Hi.
How was I to know they were
Carcosian Death Dealers?
And sure, they spared my life,
but they forced me to do...
Come on, come on!
Terrible things.
Come on! Let's go!
I was framed as a criminal.
I was on the run for years
before they finally captured me.
Sorsha negotiated to send
me back to Tir Asleen,
and employing my not inconsiderable
powers of persuasion,
I convinced her to set me free.
You remember my powers?
Mmm. Not inconsiderable.
The relic? You didn't find it?
And the others? Allagash?
Trolls got him.
I only hope he suffered
as much as possible
before they killed him.
Long story.
And Madmartigan?
They got him, too?
Hello, sorry to disturb you.
You oughta be. You have
any idea what time it is?
- Hey! Keep it down over there!
- Gordon, so help me!
Uh, I'm looking for some old friends
of mine. Perhaps, you might know them.
- Why would I know them?
- They're Brownies.
And I suppose all Nelwyn in
the world know each other?
Do you have any idea
how offensive that is?
Willow!
Rool! Am I glad to see
you. It's been years.
I thought I would
never see you again!
You look... What
is it? Bigger, yes?
You met my daughter,
Ganush. Ganush, Willow!
Huh.
She's at that rude age.
Where's Franjean?
- Uh, sadly, no longer with us.
- Oh...
Headed south. Said it
was for the weather,
but we know it's because
his wife left him. For me.
Sadly, she's no
longer with us either.
- Dead.
- Further south.
Now this one, she wants to move
upstairs, live with the Bone Reavers,
- probably get taken in a Troll raid.
- You'd like that, wouldn't you?
What I would like...
is for you to get off
your ass, and get a job,
have a hobby, do something!
She just wants to be famous.
Now, they all want to be famous.
- For what? I don't know.
- Decoupage!
Rool, I need your help.
Like old times?
Well, sorta. Uh,
Elora's up there.
- The baby!
- Not anymore.
We need to help our
friends get outta here.
- We're on a very important quest.
- Well, as long as it's important.
If it was a frivolous quest, I
would have to refuse to help you.
- Can you help us with the Bone Reavers?
- Well, the thing is,
they don't listen to us so much.
They set camp right above us.
- Like, very humiliating.
- Eh.
But we still do great diversions. You
remember the owls and the stink bombs?
Not really.
Well, we can do better.
With Cherlindrea's wand, we can
create far superior diversions.
Oh, crap.
I think it's...
Pretty sure it's...
Avag gahdu?
Are you just making that up?
Maybe now.
Avag gahdu.
- Well, that can't be good.
- No, it cannot.
Go!
You ensorcelled me with your
sarcasm and your magnificent beard!
Not intentionally!
We don't wanna hurt anybody,
and nobody wants to get hurt.
I will hurt you, if I have to.
Hurt you bad.
All we want is Jade.
Where is she?
I'm here.
Cut her loose.
Afraid we can't do that.
Not without the
mistress's say-so.
I will melt your face off, Lori!
We have a sayin' about people
who make empty threats.
They make nice hats.
I applaud your spirit, Princess,
but you really must
loosen up, have some fun.
You'd make a decent...
I'm lots of fun,
and I've been waiting
for this for a long time.
Oh, gorgeous, I'm all yours.
No, Jade, no!
No!
Come on!
Jade! Stop! Please, please! No!
Please!
Take her to my tent.
Finished.
You see that large rock that
looks like a cow with two heads?
Uh-huh.
Do not go that way.
That is the wrong way.
But if sad-angry
frown-Prince runs that way,
- they will follow him.
- Well, that's not a plan.
Well, you rejected all
the giant owl ideas,
so this is what you've got.
No, no, it's good. Simple.
All we need is a bit of luck
and a few moments to get in,
set 'em free, lead them to the
trees, and meet up with you.
All right, let's do this.
- I know the feeling.
- Just like old times.
Before we sunk into an inescapable
morass of soul-crushing domesticity.
Zing, attack, running, horses,
mayhem, mayhem, happy-kissy ending.
All right, hop in.
Nah, I left those days behind.
These days, I like to snack,
reminisce, a little more snack,
- spend time with Ganush.
- You're smothering me.
But, Rool, I can't
do this without you.
No, you can. You have him now.
He is your new
Franjean and Rool.
And though he may look like
a sad-angry frown-Prince,
he has a hero's heart, like you.
To adventure is dangerous,
but if you don't die,
one day you may truly live.
That mark on your neck,
where'd you get it?
I don't know. I've
always had it.
Here, by the child's
a hundredth day,
they get seared with
it's family's mark,
so they remember
where they came from.
This is my father's
mark. The mark of Kael.
- General Kael?
- You've heard of him?
He was the first Bone Reaver.
He had fifteen children.
You and I are the
only ones left.
My father was a free man,
killed by your people.
He was killed by Madmartigan
at the Battle of Nockmaar.
Your mother was
killed by the rangers
that kidnapped you and
took you to Tir Asleen.
No, I... I remember.
So do I.
I remember that you used to count
the stars before you went to sleep
to make sure there was
just as many up there
- as the night before.
- Kael served Bavmorda.
Bavmorda served the Crone.
Bavmorda made a pact with
the slaves of Galladoorn.
She'd help them overthrow their
masters in exchange for their loyalty.
People do whatever's
necessary to be free.
And after? When Nockmaar fell?
Those who survived, fled.
The armies of Tir Asleen and Galladoorn,
they pursued us. They feared us.
As they should.
Sooner or later, we rise up.
Why take me with them?
What better way to prevent an
uprising than to steal their future,
raise children to believe their
captors are their saviors?
Make them loyal,
make them soldiers.
You hear that?
Mmm. Big drums.
Never a good sign.
Willow, we have to hurry.
We have to save Elora.
And my fiancée and
the other people.
- Focus!
- Ow!
We've no idea what
we're walking into.
I need you thinking with
your head, not your...
- Heart?
- Exactly. Come on, this way.
Okay.
Grab the weapons.
Got 'em.
It appears we've
yet to be detected.
Did you cast, like, a invisibility
charm on us or something?
I think what's actually happening is
that they really don't care about us.
Still, don't let your guard down.
We could be set upon at any moment.
Willow!
Uh, Elora, thank the
Mothers you're all right.
Graydon.
Elora, you... you look well.
- Where are the others?
- Oh, they're around somewhere.
Dinner's gonna be ready.
- What is going on?
- They invited you to dinner?
Jade's a Bone Reaver. I don't
know what that makes her now.
Conflicted, I imagine.
Anyway, they're throwing a party
to celebrate her return. Come on.
Elora...
I feel like it's
still too cumin-y.
Am I crazy?
No, you're not crazy, Toth. You just
have a very well-developed palate.
You can call me Lori.
Lochtor tuatha.
What are you doing?
Give me the wand.
Ugh. You're such a dad.
Lori, do you mind?
No, help yourself.
Oh, don't wipe it on that.
It's my special
party rag, it's fine.
Looks like you've
done all right.
I told you, everything would
be all right. I have a plan.
Slaves of Galladoorn,
conscripts of Nockmaar,
outlaws of the Wildwood.
All we have ever
wanted is our freedom.
That our children would
not have to live in fear.
They'd serve no master...
Daikini or Troll or Crone.
We have no Barrier to hide
behind, no army to defend us.
All we have is the fear
that our masks evoke,
the determination to survive...
and each other.
Today, after two hundred
moons, my sister has come home.
She grew up in Tir Asleen, was fed
lies about us, and about herself.
But tonight, she is reborn,
bathed in the love of her family
and the values that
we still fight for.
Freedom, rebellion,
passion, and joy.
Till the break of dawn!
What is it?
I don't know. Delicious-looking
fruit. Live a little.
Ooh.
Yes, yes!
I missed you. My baby sister.
Is it... Is it good?
It's okay.
You look like a boy.
- Do you think she'll like it?
- Who?
No one. Just this... Uh.
(CLEARS THROAT) This girl.
Oh...
Women like beards.
Kind of wish you'd have
told us that before.
Kind of wish you'd
told me before.
I mean, this guy
doesn't have a beard.
That guy doesn't
have a girlfriend.
I believe I left you
tied up in my room.
Well, I got lonely.
What am I going to do with you?
I could have come
back, but I didn't.
I was ashamed.
Stay.
Someday I'd like to.
I could make you stay, you
know? Make you my prisoner.
Scorpia, don't you know?
I already am.
How you feeling?
Weird. But good.
What about you?
Weird.
That's truth plums
for you, I guess.
Those are what plums?
The truth plums.
The fruit that was handed out
when Scorpia did her speech.
Once you eat them, it's impossible
to be anything but totally honest.
Oh, right.
I didn't know that.
But now I do.
So...
You're a...
Yeah. I guess.
Still can't quite believe it.
Why did Sorsha lie to me?
Maybe she thought she
was protecting you.
Did you know?
No.
But I...
I suspected.
And you didn't tell me?
Well, what was I
supposed to say?
That I have a funny feeling you
might, in fact, be the very thing
you vowed to destroy?
At best, you would've
thought I was crazy.
And at worst, it would've
broken your heart.
Well, you're certainly the
expert on breaking my heart.
Jade, wait.
I, um, felt like we were making
progress, and then that thing happened.
And now, you feel uncomfortable
with me, and I get it.
- I tried to banish you to another realm...
- Hey.
Oh, you shaved.
Huh? Oh.
Yeah, I guess I did.
- Who were you talking to?
- No one.
I was actually just about
to come and find you.
I wanted to reassure you
that what happened at
Nockmaar, that wasn't me.
- I would never...
- I saw you kill your brother.
When?
When I kiss... When I
pulled it out of you.
I told you I was sick
as a kid. Possessed.
My brother was my hero and I
loved him more than anyone.
So, it wasn't you that
killed your brother.
And it wasn't you
at Nockmaar either.
- Uh, well, yes, but neither time.
- So who are you?
I guess I'm still
trying to figure it out.
Okay. Let me know when you do.
And that's why I never leave home
without a good digestive tonic,
and at least three
pairs of clean socks.
See, you guys are laughing, and
you probably don't even wear socks.
Top me off there,
will you, love?
Graydon. Come over
here. Sit down.
Aren't these people lovely? Not
long ago, we were scared of them.
- Especially this guy.
- What did I do?
Here, come on, sit down.
Have a drink.
- I know we're not really friends...
- Hmm.
Not even a little bit.
But I'm pretty sure you're not
evil. You know, just sorta...
mean.
You're not as useless
as I thought you were.
As I maybe said you were,
although I don't feel
like I would've said that.
No, you did.
Well, I was wrong.
Yet again.
- I was cruel...
- I blew it with Jade.
- Hmm?
- What?
- Were you gonna ask for my advice?
- No. No.
- Okay.
- Definitely not.
Yes.
What do I do?
Talk to her. And apologize.
- For what?
- It doesn't matter.
Just say the words, "I'm sorry."
Tell her that you understand.
Tell her that you
wanna get better.
And that you'll be
there, waiting for her
when she's ready for you to...
to prove it.
Wait, could you
say that all again?
- I have to go and find Graydon.
- Wait, but I...
I need more advice.
You'll be fine.
Just be honest.
And with these damn truth plums,
it's impossible to be anything else.
I need to talk to you.
Um...
I mean, I'd... I'd really
like to talk to you.
You, look at me,
are a good person.
I don't know if I am. I mean,
I've done some bad things.
Don't say that. We all have
doubts and insecurities.
You've just gotta
fight through those
and be bold.
It's easy for you to say.
You're Willow Ufgood,
the greatest sorcerer
of the world.
I'm not, actually. I never was.
Mediocre at best.
But you defeated Bavmorda.
Psst, come here, come
here. Come on. Shh.
It was dumb luck.
I built my entire reputation
on that one success.
But, no, uh, uh, I used
to stay up late at night
and read all your
adventures and close calls.
You were so wise.
Behind all that, uh, "wisdom,"
Willow Ufgood here is terrified
that one day he'll be discovered
as the aging, talentless
hack that he really is.
Whoa.
Hey, Elora.
Ooh.
Oh.
Truth plums, huh? Never again.
You look like you belong here.
I do.
I know.
But the thing is, I need you.
Yeah. On the quest.
I mean, all of it.
I mean, life.
And I know my dad
killed your dad.
I can't even imagine how
you're feeling right now.
I don't care.
You don't?
Not really.
I'm not him.
Jade...
All I care about is you.
And if you wanna come here,
after we find Airk, to live,
I would tag along.
If that's okay.
'Cause I don't wanna have any
adventures unless they're with you.
I should've told you
that sooner, you know?
And for that, for
everything, I'm so sorry.
All right, uh, what
did you wanna say?
Truth?
Plum.
I am, and have
been for some time,
just...
totally, ridiculously,
desperately
in love with you.
And in about ten seconds,
I'm gonna kiss you.
So, if you don't want that...
Yes, I would...
I mean, I would
be very into that.
Are you sure?
Because if I do,
if I kiss you,
I may never stop.
I suppose there's only
one way to find out.
Kit! Kit! Kit! Kit!
Willow! Willow!
They got her! They pulled
her up into the trees!
Run! Run!
Willow!
Trolls.
In me, in your
brother, and in you.
Be careful.
The prince is alive.
A prisoner of the
Withered Crone,
who dwells in the Immemorial City
that lies beyond the Shattered Sea.
Bone Reavers! Ride!
Boorman, you're
supposed to be dead.
You're thinkin' of someone else.
Ha!
My family was headed
to the Mothers' Gate.
I was the only
one that survived.
JADE'S MOTHER: Jade, run!
What happened to Ballantine
is gonna happen to me.
And you guys are
gonna have to stop me.
What was Ballantine
gonna do to me?
What Bavmorda started
when you were a baby.
The Ritual of the
Thirteenth Night.
Banishing your soul to a
realm of perpetual suffering.
Furrock!
You can still save him.
- I don't know how.
- Yes, you do.
Take the girl.
Kill the others.
Ah!
What the hell is that?
Don't worry about it.
How long can they
keep this up for?
The Crone won't let them rest till
they have Elora and have killed us.
If only they took the
time to get to know us.
Where to now, Captain?
We can't outrun them,
so where can we go?
Into the Wildwood.
But, what about the, you
know, perils of the Wildwood?
What perils?
People say there's something in the air,
the trees, the water, that makes you...
Never wanna leave.
Lose your will to do anything.
Trust me. We are not spending any
more time in there than we need to.
Yeah, no way.
If anybody has any better ideas,
I'm sure we'd all love to hear them.
Run!
Go!
Key is vigilance.
Stay sharp.
The Wildwood is seductive,
it lures you in with
its sights and sounds.
The next thing you know,
you're officiating weddings and
dog-sitting for casual acquaintances.
Well, that's not gonna happen.
Personally, I'm still
worried about the perils.
The Bone Reavers that killed my
family fled into the Wildwood.
Maybe they're still here...
somewhere.
This wand is a splinter
from the Great Tree
at the center of all things.
Can I just, you know, try it?
To see if it even works
for me. Maybe it won't.
It will.
But you're not ready.
There's a strict system
of magical pedagogy...
Ew...
It means wisdom or knowledge.
Before you can wield this wand, you
must master the four pillars of...
I grew the eckleberry bush,
which, apparently, was amazing.
And we made that salve and,
you know, cured Graydon.
Probably.
Now, I just have to ace
concentration and divination.
No sweat.
Divination, interpreting the vibrations
of the universe, and seeing the future,
nearly impossible for even the
most accomplished sorcerer.
Can you divinate?
On occasion, I have been known
to see visions of things to come.
Was I in them?
Well, let's start
with concentration.
With proper focus,
something you don't have...
I'm trying.
You can move objects with your
mind, manipulate elemental forces,
even transform people.
What? What are you doing?
I'm using my mind to remove
that stick from your butt
and transform you into someone
who will let me use the wand.
- Is it working?
- No.
In the wrong hands, Cherlindrea's
wand is a powerful instrument
of unimaginable destruction.
Got the ghoulies, huh?
What?
The ghoulies. You know, little
bugs buzzin' around your head,
telling you to steal some flowers,
pass gas quietly, if at all,
generally make a
fool of yourself
in front of a certain
fair-haired, doe-eyed chosen one
who, maybe, thinks of
you as more of a friend.
I don't have the ghoulies.
Okay. Great.
Means I don't have to show you
how to get her to like you back.
I mean, is that even something
you would know about?
Graydon, bubby,
women are the central
preoccupation of my life.
And many a knee weakens
and pulse quickens
at the mere mention of
Thraxus "Relaxus"...
Boorman, you
cheddar-headed goob.
If this turns out to be another
one of your side quests,
so help me, I'm going
to cut out your heart.
See that? Passion it evokes?
Yeah, but how do you do it?
How do you get that passion?
Okay, first of all,
the most important thing to
understand about the fairer sex,
and this is gonna sound counterintuitive,
but trust me, it's true.
- Okay.
- They love it, they love it when you...
When you what?
Boorman, what do they love?
No, no. Boorman, finish that
sentence. What do they love?
- I'm not joking.
- Listen, guys.
I know you all have your doubts about
my integrity, motives, whatever,
but I'm begging you to trust
me when I tell you that,
no matter what happens
next, I have a plan,
and everything will work out
if you all just remain...
calm.
Boorman.
Lori.
Toth's first name is Lori,
but, for some reason,
he's insecure about it.
Yeah, own it, Lori. You
know, make it yours.
Now, now, boys. Play nice.
You don't look dead.
Funny story.
Well, not ha-ha funny.
More like a "ain't life
funny" kind of funny.
You can imagine my surprise
when Toth came back
and said he'd run down
a Tir Asleen cutout,
four kids, and a beanpole that
looked exactly like Thraxus Boorman.
You are entitled
to an explanation.
No one gets out
of Skellin alive.
Ever.
- Skellin?
- Dread Mines of Skellin.
In the mountains.
Run by the Trolls.
What can I say? I guess that
makes me the somebody who did.
I'm going to enjoy this.
Well, if you're thinkin' what
I'm thinkin' you're thinkin,
so am I.
I doubt that very much.
Take him to my tent and
make sure he's well tied up.
I don't know. See, that kind of
sounds like we're on the same page.
And the others?
Do you want 'em,
or should we just fire up the
old skull-boiling cauldron?
I'm Kit Tanthalos of Tir Asleen.
I'm Queen Sorsha's daughter.
Scorpia.
Well, actually, it's Her Sublime Eminence,
Mistress Magnificūs Venoma Scorpia,
but Scorpia's fine.
My brother was abducted
from our castle.
Wasn't us.
- Wasn't, was it?
- Mm-mmm.
It was servants of
the Withered Crone.
We're going beyond
the Shattered Sea.
To rescue him.
If you could find it in
your hearts to let us go,
I am sure my mother
would repay the favor.
And you can keep Boorman.
He's, like, the worst.
You're wasting your breath.
They don't have a whit
of mercy about them,
and they're too stupid to realize
what you're offering them.
Maybe we won't fire up the
ol' skull pot just yet.
Lock the Nelwyn and the pretty
fella down in the Borough.
- Gently.
- Okay.
- Toss these two in the Rattler.
- Wait.
But keep this one here.
- What'll you do to her?
- She'll make good sport.
Jade!
Firstly, can I just
say, you look wowza.
Haven't aged a day in...
What's it been, 80 moons?
You have.
I remember a lean, hungry
kid, so eager to please.
Still eager to please.
I thought you were dead.
I wept.
Like, a lot or just...
Huh. Great shot!
I was aiming a touch higher.
What happened to you?
- Alone at last, huh?
- Hmm?
No, uh, you're right. I just...
It's good to spend a little
one-on-one time together.
Without the constant
interruption of the groupthink.
We are not spending
one-on-one time together.
- We're trying to find a way out of here.
- Sure, yeah, of course.
It's just training, um, with
Elora takes up a lot of your time.
Speakin' of which, do you think
that she's ignoring me? A little?
You tried to exile her
into another dimension.
In my experience,
ladies tend to be
a little less trusting
after that sort of thing.
Right, but... but
I'm not that guy.
I was just briefly
possessed by that guy,
which is unfortunate, 'cause I feel
like we had a connection, and I...
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold
it right there, Graydon.
She is Elora Danan,
Empress of the Nine Realms,
destined to save the world.
She doesn't have time to
connect with you or anyone else.
So you're saying
saving the world and having a
relationship are mutually exclusive?
You've gotta find a balance
between personal and professional.
Exactly.
What am I saying?
No. I mean, yes.
You've gotta stop thinkin'
about her in that way.
Well, what if I can't, Willow?
Well, you have
to... be kidding me.
What is that?
It's Brownies.
Oh, what are they
gonna do to her?
- I'm sure she'll be okay.
- How could you possibly be sure of that?
I don't know. It's just
a thing people say.
They wear people's
skulls as masks!
And they're gonna kill her.
You know, I believe that love is the
most powerful force in the universe.
Wait, what?
I said love is the most
powerful force in the universe.
That's how I know
we're gonna save Airk.
- Are you kidding?
- No?
My best friend is being tortured right
now and you're talking to me about love?
I'm just saying, I know
what you're going through.
Oh, right, 'cause you rolled around in
the grass with my brother a few times?
Jade is my...
We're friends.
Come on. You see the way
that she looks at you,
protects you, frets over you,
came with us 'cause of you.
We pretend not to know, sometimes
even convince ourselves we don't know,
but deep down, we know.
I feel sorry for her.
For loving someone who
can't love her back.
You don't know the first
thing about her, or me.
Maybe not. But I know how
we're gonna get out of here.
With this.
How did you get out of Skellin?
The only way I could.
I fought my way out.
Once I sated my bloodlust,
I descended the face
of that mountain.
Wounded, freezing.
All that mattered was
getting back here.
And I would've made it, too,
if I hadn't stopped to assist
those stranded travelers.
- Hey, sugar buns.
- Hi.
How was I to know they were
Carcosian Death Dealers?
And sure, they spared my life,
but they forced me to do...
Come on, come on!
Terrible things.
Come on! Let's go!
I was framed as a criminal.
I was on the run for years
before they finally captured me.
Sorsha negotiated to send
me back to Tir Asleen,
and employing my not inconsiderable
powers of persuasion,
I convinced her to set me free.
You remember my powers?
Mmm. Not inconsiderable.
The relic? You didn't find it?
And the others? Allagash?
Trolls got him.
I only hope he suffered
as much as possible
before they killed him.
Long story.
And Madmartigan?
They got him, too?
Hello, sorry to disturb you.
You oughta be. You have
any idea what time it is?
- Hey! Keep it down over there!
- Gordon, so help me!
Uh, I'm looking for some old friends
of mine. Perhaps, you might know them.
- Why would I know them?
- They're Brownies.
And I suppose all Nelwyn in
the world know each other?
Do you have any idea
how offensive that is?
Willow!
Rool! Am I glad to see
you. It's been years.
I thought I would
never see you again!
You look... What
is it? Bigger, yes?
You met my daughter,
Ganush. Ganush, Willow!
Huh.
She's at that rude age.
Where's Franjean?
- Uh, sadly, no longer with us.
- Oh...
Headed south. Said it
was for the weather,
but we know it's because
his wife left him. For me.
Sadly, she's no
longer with us either.
- Dead.
- Further south.
Now this one, she wants to move
upstairs, live with the Bone Reavers,
- probably get taken in a Troll raid.
- You'd like that, wouldn't you?
What I would like...
is for you to get off
your ass, and get a job,
have a hobby, do something!
She just wants to be famous.
Now, they all want to be famous.
- For what? I don't know.
- Decoupage!
Rool, I need your help.
Like old times?
Well, sorta. Uh,
Elora's up there.
- The baby!
- Not anymore.
We need to help our
friends get outta here.
- We're on a very important quest.
- Well, as long as it's important.
If it was a frivolous quest, I
would have to refuse to help you.
- Can you help us with the Bone Reavers?
- Well, the thing is,
they don't listen to us so much.
They set camp right above us.
- Like, very humiliating.
- Eh.
But we still do great diversions. You
remember the owls and the stink bombs?
Not really.
Well, we can do better.
With Cherlindrea's wand, we can
create far superior diversions.
Oh, crap.
I think it's...
Pretty sure it's...
Avag gahdu?
Are you just making that up?
Maybe now.
Avag gahdu.
- Well, that can't be good.
- No, it cannot.
Go!
You ensorcelled me with your
sarcasm and your magnificent beard!
Not intentionally!
We don't wanna hurt anybody,
and nobody wants to get hurt.
I will hurt you, if I have to.
Hurt you bad.
All we want is Jade.
Where is she?
I'm here.
Cut her loose.
Afraid we can't do that.
Not without the
mistress's say-so.
I will melt your face off, Lori!
We have a sayin' about people
who make empty threats.
They make nice hats.
I applaud your spirit, Princess,
but you really must
loosen up, have some fun.
You'd make a decent...
I'm lots of fun,
and I've been waiting
for this for a long time.
Oh, gorgeous, I'm all yours.
No, Jade, no!
No!
Come on!
Jade! Stop! Please, please! No!
Please!
Take her to my tent.
Finished.
You see that large rock that
looks like a cow with two heads?
Uh-huh.
Do not go that way.
That is the wrong way.
But if sad-angry
frown-Prince runs that way,
- they will follow him.
- Well, that's not a plan.
Well, you rejected all
the giant owl ideas,
so this is what you've got.
No, no, it's good. Simple.
All we need is a bit of luck
and a few moments to get in,
set 'em free, lead them to the
trees, and meet up with you.
All right, let's do this.
- I know the feeling.
- Just like old times.
Before we sunk into an inescapable
morass of soul-crushing domesticity.
Zing, attack, running, horses,
mayhem, mayhem, happy-kissy ending.
All right, hop in.
Nah, I left those days behind.
These days, I like to snack,
reminisce, a little more snack,
- spend time with Ganush.
- You're smothering me.
But, Rool, I can't
do this without you.
No, you can. You have him now.
He is your new
Franjean and Rool.
And though he may look like
a sad-angry frown-Prince,
he has a hero's heart, like you.
To adventure is dangerous,
but if you don't die,
one day you may truly live.
That mark on your neck,
where'd you get it?
I don't know. I've
always had it.
Here, by the child's
a hundredth day,
they get seared with
it's family's mark,
so they remember
where they came from.
This is my father's
mark. The mark of Kael.
- General Kael?
- You've heard of him?
He was the first Bone Reaver.
He had fifteen children.
You and I are the
only ones left.
My father was a free man,
killed by your people.
He was killed by Madmartigan
at the Battle of Nockmaar.
Your mother was
killed by the rangers
that kidnapped you and
took you to Tir Asleen.
No, I... I remember.
So do I.
I remember that you used to count
the stars before you went to sleep
to make sure there was
just as many up there
- as the night before.
- Kael served Bavmorda.
Bavmorda served the Crone.
Bavmorda made a pact with
the slaves of Galladoorn.
She'd help them overthrow their
masters in exchange for their loyalty.
People do whatever's
necessary to be free.
And after? When Nockmaar fell?
Those who survived, fled.
The armies of Tir Asleen and Galladoorn,
they pursued us. They feared us.
As they should.
Sooner or later, we rise up.
Why take me with them?
What better way to prevent an
uprising than to steal their future,
raise children to believe their
captors are their saviors?
Make them loyal,
make them soldiers.
You hear that?
Mmm. Big drums.
Never a good sign.
Willow, we have to hurry.
We have to save Elora.
And my fiancée and
the other people.
- Focus!
- Ow!
We've no idea what
we're walking into.
I need you thinking with
your head, not your...
- Heart?
- Exactly. Come on, this way.
Okay.
Grab the weapons.
Got 'em.
It appears we've
yet to be detected.
Did you cast, like, a invisibility
charm on us or something?
I think what's actually happening is
that they really don't care about us.
Still, don't let your guard down.
We could be set upon at any moment.
Willow!
Uh, Elora, thank the
Mothers you're all right.
Graydon.
Elora, you... you look well.
- Where are the others?
- Oh, they're around somewhere.
Dinner's gonna be ready.
- What is going on?
- They invited you to dinner?
Jade's a Bone Reaver. I don't
know what that makes her now.
Conflicted, I imagine.
Anyway, they're throwing a party
to celebrate her return. Come on.
Elora...
I feel like it's
still too cumin-y.
Am I crazy?
No, you're not crazy, Toth. You just
have a very well-developed palate.
You can call me Lori.
Lochtor tuatha.
What are you doing?
Give me the wand.
Ugh. You're such a dad.
Lori, do you mind?
No, help yourself.
Oh, don't wipe it on that.
It's my special
party rag, it's fine.
Looks like you've
done all right.
I told you, everything would
be all right. I have a plan.
Slaves of Galladoorn,
conscripts of Nockmaar,
outlaws of the Wildwood.
All we have ever
wanted is our freedom.
That our children would
not have to live in fear.
They'd serve no master...
Daikini or Troll or Crone.
We have no Barrier to hide
behind, no army to defend us.
All we have is the fear
that our masks evoke,
the determination to survive...
and each other.
Today, after two hundred
moons, my sister has come home.
She grew up in Tir Asleen, was fed
lies about us, and about herself.
But tonight, she is reborn,
bathed in the love of her family
and the values that
we still fight for.
Freedom, rebellion,
passion, and joy.
Till the break of dawn!
What is it?
I don't know. Delicious-looking
fruit. Live a little.
Ooh.
Yes, yes!
I missed you. My baby sister.
Is it... Is it good?
It's okay.
You look like a boy.
- Do you think she'll like it?
- Who?
No one. Just this... Uh.
(CLEARS THROAT) This girl.
Oh...
Women like beards.
Kind of wish you'd have
told us that before.
Kind of wish you'd
told me before.
I mean, this guy
doesn't have a beard.
That guy doesn't
have a girlfriend.
I believe I left you
tied up in my room.
Well, I got lonely.
What am I going to do with you?
I could have come
back, but I didn't.
I was ashamed.
Stay.
Someday I'd like to.
I could make you stay, you
know? Make you my prisoner.
Scorpia, don't you know?
I already am.
How you feeling?
Weird. But good.
What about you?
Weird.
That's truth plums
for you, I guess.
Those are what plums?
The truth plums.
The fruit that was handed out
when Scorpia did her speech.
Once you eat them, it's impossible
to be anything but totally honest.
Oh, right.
I didn't know that.
But now I do.
So...
You're a...
Yeah. I guess.
Still can't quite believe it.
Why did Sorsha lie to me?
Maybe she thought she
was protecting you.
Did you know?
No.
But I...
I suspected.
And you didn't tell me?
Well, what was I
supposed to say?
That I have a funny feeling you
might, in fact, be the very thing
you vowed to destroy?
At best, you would've
thought I was crazy.
And at worst, it would've
broken your heart.
Well, you're certainly the
expert on breaking my heart.
Jade, wait.
I, um, felt like we were making
progress, and then that thing happened.
And now, you feel uncomfortable
with me, and I get it.
- I tried to banish you to another realm...
- Hey.
Oh, you shaved.
Huh? Oh.
Yeah, I guess I did.
- Who were you talking to?
- No one.
I was actually just about
to come and find you.
I wanted to reassure you
that what happened at
Nockmaar, that wasn't me.
- I would never...
- I saw you kill your brother.
When?
When I kiss... When I
pulled it out of you.
I told you I was sick
as a kid. Possessed.
My brother was my hero and I
loved him more than anyone.
So, it wasn't you that
killed your brother.
And it wasn't you
at Nockmaar either.
- Uh, well, yes, but neither time.
- So who are you?
I guess I'm still
trying to figure it out.
Okay. Let me know when you do.
And that's why I never leave home
without a good digestive tonic,
and at least three
pairs of clean socks.
See, you guys are laughing, and
you probably don't even wear socks.
Top me off there,
will you, love?
Graydon. Come over
here. Sit down.
Aren't these people lovely? Not
long ago, we were scared of them.
- Especially this guy.
- What did I do?
Here, come on, sit down.
Have a drink.
- I know we're not really friends...
- Hmm.
Not even a little bit.
But I'm pretty sure you're not
evil. You know, just sorta...
mean.
You're not as useless
as I thought you were.
As I maybe said you were,
although I don't feel
like I would've said that.
No, you did.
Well, I was wrong.
Yet again.
- I was cruel...
- I blew it with Jade.
- Hmm?
- What?
- Were you gonna ask for my advice?
- No. No.
- Okay.
- Definitely not.
Yes.
What do I do?
Talk to her. And apologize.
- For what?
- It doesn't matter.
Just say the words, "I'm sorry."
Tell her that you understand.
Tell her that you
wanna get better.
And that you'll be
there, waiting for her
when she's ready for you to...
to prove it.
Wait, could you
say that all again?
- I have to go and find Graydon.
- Wait, but I...
I need more advice.
You'll be fine.
Just be honest.
And with these damn truth plums,
it's impossible to be anything else.
I need to talk to you.
Um...
I mean, I'd... I'd really
like to talk to you.
You, look at me,
are a good person.
I don't know if I am. I mean,
I've done some bad things.
Don't say that. We all have
doubts and insecurities.
You've just gotta
fight through those
and be bold.
It's easy for you to say.
You're Willow Ufgood,
the greatest sorcerer
of the world.
I'm not, actually. I never was.
Mediocre at best.
But you defeated Bavmorda.
Psst, come here, come
here. Come on. Shh.
It was dumb luck.
I built my entire reputation
on that one success.
But, no, uh, uh, I used
to stay up late at night
and read all your
adventures and close calls.
You were so wise.
Behind all that, uh, "wisdom,"
Willow Ufgood here is terrified
that one day he'll be discovered
as the aging, talentless
hack that he really is.
Whoa.
Hey, Elora.
Ooh.
Oh.
Truth plums, huh? Never again.
You look like you belong here.
I do.
I know.
But the thing is, I need you.
Yeah. On the quest.
I mean, all of it.
I mean, life.
And I know my dad
killed your dad.
I can't even imagine how
you're feeling right now.
I don't care.
You don't?
Not really.
I'm not him.
Jade...
All I care about is you.
And if you wanna come here,
after we find Airk, to live,
I would tag along.
If that's okay.
'Cause I don't wanna have any
adventures unless they're with you.
I should've told you
that sooner, you know?
And for that, for
everything, I'm so sorry.
All right, uh, what
did you wanna say?
Truth?
Plum.
I am, and have
been for some time,
just...
totally, ridiculously,
desperately
in love with you.
And in about ten seconds,
I'm gonna kiss you.
So, if you don't want that...
Yes, I would...
I mean, I would
be very into that.
Are you sure?
Because if I do,
if I kiss you,
I may never stop.
I suppose there's only
one way to find out.
Kit! Kit! Kit! Kit!
Willow! Willow!
They got her! They pulled
her up into the trees!
Run! Run!
Willow!
Trolls.