Will & Grace (1998–…): Season 10, Episode 17 - The Things We Do for Love - full transcript
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
What did you do to me?
I don't feel right.
Who dressed me like this?
Where's Joe?
I knew we shouldn't come
to this bachelor party.
There better not be video
because we have a daughter
with no sense of humor.
You're all monsters!
You talk too much, Mrs. Mazel.
What a party.
You look ridiculous.
I don't remember anything.
Oh, my God. Karen?
- She okay?
- Don't worry. We've been here before.
Everybody relax. Stand back.
Who's next?
Hey, buddy.
We just had your bachelor party.
You know what that means?
I'm getting married!
You're getting married!
Oh, shoot.
I really wanted to help you clean up,
but you're already done.
Darn it.
That was almost as convincing
as when you go to reach
for your credit card at dinner.
Did you forget a coin purse
here last night?
A coin purse?
What am I, my Grandma Evie?
What about an orthotic insole?
Oh, yeah, that's mine. Thanks.
Hey, uh, um, Noah knows
that I'm coming solo
- to your dinner party tonight, right?
- Yes, he does.
Because McCoy's on assignment in London.
Wow, you work really hard to get that
into every conversation, don't you?
What, that the man I live with
is on assignment in London? No, I don't.
Assignment, London.
Whoa.
I didn't even notice that you
made this McCoy's office.
And if you forget what he looks like,
you can just come into here.
It needs to feel like his place, too.
I'm sure Noah's carved out some
space for you over there.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, not actual space
because he's got his office
and his daughter's room,
but I've got space.
Okay. What's in the box?
Asian baby fish humper?
Why?
You love Asian baby fish humper.
- Noah hates it.
- What?
- Yeah.
- He's beautif...
well, he's ugly beautiful.
I know. Uh, just...
Noah has very particular taste.
- What's with the look?
- I'm... I... I didn't give a look.
Oh, yes you did.
It's the "I want to weigh in
on Grace's relationship" look.
I ju... living together,
you know, involves compromise
and... and Noah can be a kind
of an uncompromising guy.
I just hope your place feels
like your place, too.
Everything is good with us.
It's actually why I wanted
to have this dinner party
in the first place.
It's just... it's so important
to me that you see
how good we are living together.
What do you think of the rug?
It's... it's... it's like
really fun socks.
Yeah, I mean, I know
that your favorite color
is lack of color, but it's fun.
It's fun, right?
- So fun.
- Yeah.
I'm just worried about Katie.
I think... I think she might hate it.
- How do you know that?
- Because we hate the same things.
All right.
That was a very clever way of telling me
that you don't like the rug.
No, wait. You know what?
I'll... I just...
I won't look at it.
Yeah, I'll, uh... I'll look up
when I walk in.
It's not like I don't know
where the furniture is, right?
Oh, mother...
that's fun. That is fun.
- It's a pouf.
- A what?
A pouf.
I didn't think we were
allowed to say that anymore.
- What does it do?
- You sit on it.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I get this. Yeah.
I'm poufing now, right?
I'm...
having sex!
With a lady!
Oh, boy!
All done.
No, wait.
Now I'm done.
When did Asian baby
fish humper come back?
Noah didn't like it.
I'm worried about Grace.
She's doing that thing again
where she's the only one
in the relationship making compromises.
I'm gonna say something.
You are absolutely not
gonna say anything.
Have you forgotten
the giant fights you got into
when you would say something about Donny?
- Danny.
- And Norman?
- Nathan.
- And Louie?
Leo.
You got a point, but... but she told me
to be totally honest
when we go over there tonight.
What, am I supposed to just lie?
Yes.
This happens all the time
in the theater world,
when you have to see a friend
in a terrible play.
Huh.
What's that like?
Oh, pretend when you saw me
in "Gaybraham Twinkin"...
That I wasn't good.
Give me a minute to get there.
Oh, I'm there.
Okay, so, you would say something nice
without getting specific.
Like, "You really looked like
you were having fun up there."
- Mm-hmm.
- Right?
Or... or you just pick adjectives
and you draw them out really long.
Like... like this.
Spectacular.
Right? Right?
Or... or just say them twice.
Magical. Absolutely magical.
Right?
And go ahead and feel free
to use your hands.
Mm-hmm.
What if it's so bad
you can't say anything?
Oh, well, you say...
"There are simply no words."
Right? Trust me.
It'll work with Grace.
Most people are so desperate
for compliments,
- they won't suspect a thing.
- Hmm.
Wait, you told me you had no words
when you saw me in "Gaybraham Twinkin".
And I meant it.
Oh, my God. That is so nice.
Oh, Nikki, these last few weeks with you
have been incredible.
And, uh, presidentially speaking,
let's just say that I prefer
Bush over Johnson.
Well, that's the highest
compliment you can pay someone
in my community.
I guess it's kinda my
community now, too, huh?
Oh, uh, unless you're talking about
the African American community,
which still refuses
to accept me as one of their own.
I'll call Shonda.
Oh.
But I... I do mean the gay community.
But, um, is that really you either?
What do you mean?
Do straight women want to do
the things to you
- that I do?
- Oh, yeah.
Come here.
I need to know if you're just
trying something out.
I mean, if you're ashamed
to be seen with me...
I'm not ashamed.
I took you out to dinner last week.
In Berlin.
You got me on the down low.
Have you even told your friends about us?
No, not yet.
But I've been thinking.
I think it's time for me
to dump all of my friends
and get new ones who
are black and gay like us.
I'm sorry, Karen. I can't do this.
I... I need to be with a gay woman,
and if you're not in this 100%,
I'm out.
Hello, papi chulo. Hello, Will.
Jack, I was thinking,
why don't you make a list
of what you need to bring
for the wedding?
Hush, papi.
I don't need to make a list.
I have everything.
I have the rings, the tux, my passport...
which is up to date.
I'm glad you renewed it early.
McCoy had to... had
to do his last minute,
- 'cause he's...
- On assignment in London.
- We know.
- Yes.
Okay, just one more thing, Jack.
I promise.
Do you have the 13 gold coins
which you will present to me
at the altar?
This guy.
Of course I have the coins.
It's the first thing I packed.
Now get out of here, all right? Come on.
Don't worry about a thing, okay?
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- No worries.
You have no idea where those
coins are, do you?
Oh, my God.
I brought them over to show
Karen at the bachelor party.
Uh, they were in a little coin purse,
but I must have lost it somewhere.
Coin purse?
That sounds small and hard to find.
What do I do? What do I do?
Well, I guess you better
run around the apartment
like a crazy person looking everywhere.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! He was right about me!
Here's... I... I...
I am forgetful and irresponsible!
He was totally right!
- And bad at finding things.
- I can't find anything!
What's so special about the gold coins?
Oh, I don't know. Some Spanish tradition.
I... I... I tried to Wikipedia them,
but I accidentally went to Dickipedia
and stayed there all night.
Jack.
Would you stop jingling
whatever you're jingling?
I'm trying to...
You son of a bitch.
You really enjoyed that, didn't you?
I really did. Here.
I counted them. There's only 12.
You're missing one.
Hey, me again.
I just want to say,
forget about the list.
None of those things matter
as long as you are there.
Oh, thank God.
That's such a relief.
Except the coins.
The 13 gold coins are the most
important tradition
in a Spanish wedding.
They symbolize our trust,
and they must be there.
But the rest, who cares?
Everything can be replaced.
The coins cannot be replaced.
You probably got that
they were not included
when I said everything,
but I wanted to make sure.
I'm missing one gold coin, Rory.
No, there is not a reward.
Just call me if you find it.
I hate every single one of my friends.
Not Karen.
Hey, guys.
Oh, hi!
- Come on in.
- Wow.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Oh, I love people who know
that no gifts means yes gifts.
Yeah. We've met before.
- Oh, you got my favorite candle.
- Hmm.
Oh.
Smells like rotten berries in here.
Oh, pretty candle.
- Oh, thanks, you guys.
- Hmm.
Uh, maybe we put it in the dining room.
Uh, we could, or you could bring it
- to the office.
- Sure.
See? How's that for compromise?
Spectacular.
Thanks.
Hmm.
- Oh, hey, Estefan.
- Hola, curmudgeon.
- Hola, Grace.
- Hola.
I have brought you this wine
all the way from my village
- in Spain.
- Aww.
That's so cool.
Uh, they sell the same wine
at the bodega on the corner.
Where it is also 13 American dollars.
Speaking of the number 13, tell him about
the 13 gold coins you will
present to me at the wedding.
Well, I would,
but I think Grace wants to say
something nice to welcome us
into her home.
Well, um, you know, I would just...
I would just like to say how nice it is
to have you guys here in our home.
It just means so much to...
No way.
It's my best friend from college.
I'm... I'm so sorry. I'll be right back.
Steve, what's up, buddy?
No, no, I'm good.
Uh, Grace just has her friends over.
Obviously you're his friends, too.
Hmm.
He's... he's not very demonstrative.
You're amazing!
You know what I mean. He's, um...
Magical.
Absolutely magical!
What? You're being weird.
I'm not. I'm not being weird.
There is nothing weird at all.
All right, listen up, people.
This is my girlfriend, Nikki.
And we are 100% gay together.
Here's some more.
How long has Karen been a lesbian?
I think since this afternoon.
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
All good.
I'll, uh... I'll tell you later.
Love this metal table, Noah.
Isn't that great, babe?
Oh!
Do you know what else is made of metal?
The 13 gold coins which Jack
will present to me.
Tell them, mi Monte Carlo.
Hey, have you ever looked
inside an American
straight guy's bathroom?
No, and I have always wanted to.
Well, we have got to go see it right now.
I bet it's just a hole in the ground.
I can't wait to celebrate
this gay wedding with you.
You just call it their wedding.
Um, by the way, you look like
a mid-'90s rapper.
That gets me so hard.
So, uh, Will, uh,
how's it living with McCoy?
It's great. He's on assignment in London.
Drink.
Sorry, it's just a little inside joke.
I think I got it.
Anyway, you know, it's been an adjustment
with McCoy, sharing a space.
Compromising.
Sure it's been the same for you.
No, it's actually been pretty
seamless for us.
Really? Well, you...
you've obviously learned how
to give up control
to the TV remote,
'cause you try to take it
from this one, she turns into Joffrey.
Am I right?
Uh, who... who is Joffrey?
Oh, he's from "Game of Thrones."
It's a show.
We don't have a TV.
Yeah, I... I can't have a TV.
I'd never pick up a book.
Mmm. I don't miss it.
I don't need a TV to be happy.
That's... I...
you guys sure look like
you're having a lot of fun.
Yeah, we... we really are.
Hey, Nikki, have you ever been to Spain?
No, uh, I've always wanted to go,
but this'll be my first time.
Hopefully we'll get to see
the running of the bulls
in lesbian town.
Okay, I think we need to talk.
Of course we do. We're lesbians.
All we do is talk.
Ow.
Noah, I am blown away by your bathroom.
One bottle and it is both the
shampoo and the conditioner.
I'm so glad you're back.
How about a toast?
Um, Noah, you're better
with words than me.
Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm not great at toasts.
Don't be so modest.
Seriously, I... I don't think I...
Yes, please. You are a writer.
Maybe a beautiful toast
about our wedding.
Guys, I...
I'm not gonna be able
to come to the wedding.
- What?
- You're kidding.
That is a terrible toast.
I'm really sorry, guys.
My best friend, Steve,
who's been living abroad
for ten years is coming
into town this weekend.
But it's in three days.
When were you gonna tell us?
After the party.
I thought it might create
an awkward moment.
Guess I was wrong.
This is not what being gay is.
Especially not for you.
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
You know, I Googled "butch lesbian",
but I guess I'm more
of a lipstick lesbian.
Wanna go figure it out on a pile of coats
in Noah's bedroom?
I would like that very much.
I can't believe Noah's
not coming to our wedding.
I know.
The saddest part is that
he will not get to see me
receive the 13 golden coins.
I can't take it!
Estefan, look, I love you,
and I know how much
those coins mean to you.
But the truth is...
- What?
- Jack, I have your coin.
The truth is, I'm pretty darn
sick of you doubting me
and I'd like a moment alone
with my thoughts.
Oh, okay.
I will just go look
at his bathroom again.
He has a bar of soap that says, "Dial".
Harry, you found my coin?
The ER doctor did.
He asked me how it got where it did,
and everything came flooding back.
Me not wanting to dance,
Will saying I was a dancing machine,
you saying if someone put a coin in me,
I had to dance.
Now I remember!
Karen put a coin u...
Please don't finish that sentence.
Noah, this is Jack's wedding.
I know, Grace,
but Steve's my best friend.
Jack is one of Grace's best friends.
You could fly and see him
as soon as we get back.
No, we've been trying
to get together forever.
Noah...
This is really important to me.
And this is really important to me.
Okay.
I understand.
I guess.
There really are no words.
Hey, great news.
I found the coin.
Funny story.
Which you will probably enjoy
at a later date.
I can't do this.
I'm going home before I say
something I'll regret.
'Cause you're right.
Grace would kill me
if I actually told her
that she could do so much
better than Noah.
She is standing right
behind me, isn't she?
She is.
And she wants you to leave.
You don't think I don't know
what you've been doing?
Feeding me vague compliments
like we're backstage
at one of Jack's shows?
Oh, no, no, this is different.
Uh, he doesn't mean
the compliments he gave you.
Look, I was trying to avoid a fight.
But come on. Blowing off Jack's wedding?
- That's kind of a big deal.
- It's his best friend, Will.
I... I've gotta be flexible about this.
He hasn't made any space for you, Grace.
I know you feel that, too.
Look, is Noah perfect? No.
Not even close.
And he's a lot to deal with.
Sometimes he's an absolute bummer.
And he's standing right
behind me, isn't he?
Wow, the rare double-double.
What did you do to me?
I don't feel right.
Who dressed me like this?
Where's Joe?
I knew we shouldn't come
to this bachelor party.
There better not be video
because we have a daughter
with no sense of humor.
You're all monsters!
You talk too much, Mrs. Mazel.
What a party.
You look ridiculous.
I don't remember anything.
Oh, my God. Karen?
- She okay?
- Don't worry. We've been here before.
Everybody relax. Stand back.
Who's next?
Hey, buddy.
We just had your bachelor party.
You know what that means?
I'm getting married!
You're getting married!
Oh, shoot.
I really wanted to help you clean up,
but you're already done.
Darn it.
That was almost as convincing
as when you go to reach
for your credit card at dinner.
Did you forget a coin purse
here last night?
A coin purse?
What am I, my Grandma Evie?
What about an orthotic insole?
Oh, yeah, that's mine. Thanks.
Hey, uh, um, Noah knows
that I'm coming solo
- to your dinner party tonight, right?
- Yes, he does.
Because McCoy's on assignment in London.
Wow, you work really hard to get that
into every conversation, don't you?
What, that the man I live with
is on assignment in London? No, I don't.
Assignment, London.
Whoa.
I didn't even notice that you
made this McCoy's office.
And if you forget what he looks like,
you can just come into here.
It needs to feel like his place, too.
I'm sure Noah's carved out some
space for you over there.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, not actual space
because he's got his office
and his daughter's room,
but I've got space.
Okay. What's in the box?
Asian baby fish humper?
Why?
You love Asian baby fish humper.
- Noah hates it.
- What?
- Yeah.
- He's beautif...
well, he's ugly beautiful.
I know. Uh, just...
Noah has very particular taste.
- What's with the look?
- I'm... I... I didn't give a look.
Oh, yes you did.
It's the "I want to weigh in
on Grace's relationship" look.
I ju... living together,
you know, involves compromise
and... and Noah can be a kind
of an uncompromising guy.
I just hope your place feels
like your place, too.
Everything is good with us.
It's actually why I wanted
to have this dinner party
in the first place.
It's just... it's so important
to me that you see
how good we are living together.
What do you think of the rug?
It's... it's... it's like
really fun socks.
Yeah, I mean, I know
that your favorite color
is lack of color, but it's fun.
It's fun, right?
- So fun.
- Yeah.
I'm just worried about Katie.
I think... I think she might hate it.
- How do you know that?
- Because we hate the same things.
All right.
That was a very clever way of telling me
that you don't like the rug.
No, wait. You know what?
I'll... I just...
I won't look at it.
Yeah, I'll, uh... I'll look up
when I walk in.
It's not like I don't know
where the furniture is, right?
Oh, mother...
that's fun. That is fun.
- It's a pouf.
- A what?
A pouf.
I didn't think we were
allowed to say that anymore.
- What does it do?
- You sit on it.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
I get this. Yeah.
I'm poufing now, right?
I'm...
having sex!
With a lady!
Oh, boy!
All done.
No, wait.
Now I'm done.
When did Asian baby
fish humper come back?
Noah didn't like it.
I'm worried about Grace.
She's doing that thing again
where she's the only one
in the relationship making compromises.
I'm gonna say something.
You are absolutely not
gonna say anything.
Have you forgotten
the giant fights you got into
when you would say something about Donny?
- Danny.
- And Norman?
- Nathan.
- And Louie?
Leo.
You got a point, but... but she told me
to be totally honest
when we go over there tonight.
What, am I supposed to just lie?
Yes.
This happens all the time
in the theater world,
when you have to see a friend
in a terrible play.
Huh.
What's that like?
Oh, pretend when you saw me
in "Gaybraham Twinkin"...
That I wasn't good.
Give me a minute to get there.
Oh, I'm there.
Okay, so, you would say something nice
without getting specific.
Like, "You really looked like
you were having fun up there."
- Mm-hmm.
- Right?
Or... or you just pick adjectives
and you draw them out really long.
Like... like this.
Spectacular.
Right? Right?
Or... or just say them twice.
Magical. Absolutely magical.
Right?
And go ahead and feel free
to use your hands.
Mm-hmm.
What if it's so bad
you can't say anything?
Oh, well, you say...
"There are simply no words."
Right? Trust me.
It'll work with Grace.
Most people are so desperate
for compliments,
- they won't suspect a thing.
- Hmm.
Wait, you told me you had no words
when you saw me in "Gaybraham Twinkin".
And I meant it.
Oh, my God. That is so nice.
Oh, Nikki, these last few weeks with you
have been incredible.
And, uh, presidentially speaking,
let's just say that I prefer
Bush over Johnson.
Well, that's the highest
compliment you can pay someone
in my community.
I guess it's kinda my
community now, too, huh?
Oh, uh, unless you're talking about
the African American community,
which still refuses
to accept me as one of their own.
I'll call Shonda.
Oh.
But I... I do mean the gay community.
But, um, is that really you either?
What do you mean?
Do straight women want to do
the things to you
- that I do?
- Oh, yeah.
Come here.
I need to know if you're just
trying something out.
I mean, if you're ashamed
to be seen with me...
I'm not ashamed.
I took you out to dinner last week.
In Berlin.
You got me on the down low.
Have you even told your friends about us?
No, not yet.
But I've been thinking.
I think it's time for me
to dump all of my friends
and get new ones who
are black and gay like us.
I'm sorry, Karen. I can't do this.
I... I need to be with a gay woman,
and if you're not in this 100%,
I'm out.
Hello, papi chulo. Hello, Will.
Jack, I was thinking,
why don't you make a list
of what you need to bring
for the wedding?
Hush, papi.
I don't need to make a list.
I have everything.
I have the rings, the tux, my passport...
which is up to date.
I'm glad you renewed it early.
McCoy had to... had
to do his last minute,
- 'cause he's...
- On assignment in London.
- We know.
- Yes.
Okay, just one more thing, Jack.
I promise.
Do you have the 13 gold coins
which you will present to me
at the altar?
This guy.
Of course I have the coins.
It's the first thing I packed.
Now get out of here, all right? Come on.
Don't worry about a thing, okay?
- Okay, I'm sorry.
- No worries.
You have no idea where those
coins are, do you?
Oh, my God.
I brought them over to show
Karen at the bachelor party.
Uh, they were in a little coin purse,
but I must have lost it somewhere.
Coin purse?
That sounds small and hard to find.
What do I do? What do I do?
Well, I guess you better
run around the apartment
like a crazy person looking everywhere.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! He was right about me!
Here's... I... I...
I am forgetful and irresponsible!
He was totally right!
- And bad at finding things.
- I can't find anything!
What's so special about the gold coins?
Oh, I don't know. Some Spanish tradition.
I... I... I tried to Wikipedia them,
but I accidentally went to Dickipedia
and stayed there all night.
Jack.
Would you stop jingling
whatever you're jingling?
I'm trying to...
You son of a bitch.
You really enjoyed that, didn't you?
I really did. Here.
I counted them. There's only 12.
You're missing one.
Hey, me again.
I just want to say,
forget about the list.
None of those things matter
as long as you are there.
Oh, thank God.
That's such a relief.
Except the coins.
The 13 gold coins are the most
important tradition
in a Spanish wedding.
They symbolize our trust,
and they must be there.
But the rest, who cares?
Everything can be replaced.
The coins cannot be replaced.
You probably got that
they were not included
when I said everything,
but I wanted to make sure.
I'm missing one gold coin, Rory.
No, there is not a reward.
Just call me if you find it.
I hate every single one of my friends.
Not Karen.
Hey, guys.
Oh, hi!
- Come on in.
- Wow.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
Oh, I love people who know
that no gifts means yes gifts.
Yeah. We've met before.
- Oh, you got my favorite candle.
- Hmm.
Oh.
Smells like rotten berries in here.
Oh, pretty candle.
- Oh, thanks, you guys.
- Hmm.
Uh, maybe we put it in the dining room.
Uh, we could, or you could bring it
- to the office.
- Sure.
See? How's that for compromise?
Spectacular.
Thanks.
Hmm.
- Oh, hey, Estefan.
- Hola, curmudgeon.
- Hola, Grace.
- Hola.
I have brought you this wine
all the way from my village
- in Spain.
- Aww.
That's so cool.
Uh, they sell the same wine
at the bodega on the corner.
Where it is also 13 American dollars.
Speaking of the number 13, tell him about
the 13 gold coins you will
present to me at the wedding.
Well, I would,
but I think Grace wants to say
something nice to welcome us
into her home.
Well, um, you know, I would just...
I would just like to say how nice it is
to have you guys here in our home.
It just means so much to...
No way.
It's my best friend from college.
I'm... I'm so sorry. I'll be right back.
Steve, what's up, buddy?
No, no, I'm good.
Uh, Grace just has her friends over.
Obviously you're his friends, too.
Hmm.
He's... he's not very demonstrative.
You're amazing!
You know what I mean. He's, um...
Magical.
Absolutely magical!
What? You're being weird.
I'm not. I'm not being weird.
There is nothing weird at all.
All right, listen up, people.
This is my girlfriend, Nikki.
And we are 100% gay together.
Here's some more.
How long has Karen been a lesbian?
I think since this afternoon.
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, yeah.
All good.
I'll, uh... I'll tell you later.
Love this metal table, Noah.
Isn't that great, babe?
Oh!
Do you know what else is made of metal?
The 13 gold coins which Jack
will present to me.
Tell them, mi Monte Carlo.
Hey, have you ever looked
inside an American
straight guy's bathroom?
No, and I have always wanted to.
Well, we have got to go see it right now.
I bet it's just a hole in the ground.
I can't wait to celebrate
this gay wedding with you.
You just call it their wedding.
Um, by the way, you look like
a mid-'90s rapper.
That gets me so hard.
So, uh, Will, uh,
how's it living with McCoy?
It's great. He's on assignment in London.
Drink.
Sorry, it's just a little inside joke.
I think I got it.
Anyway, you know, it's been an adjustment
with McCoy, sharing a space.
Compromising.
Sure it's been the same for you.
No, it's actually been pretty
seamless for us.
Really? Well, you...
you've obviously learned how
to give up control
to the TV remote,
'cause you try to take it
from this one, she turns into Joffrey.
Am I right?
Uh, who... who is Joffrey?
Oh, he's from "Game of Thrones."
It's a show.
We don't have a TV.
Yeah, I... I can't have a TV.
I'd never pick up a book.
Mmm. I don't miss it.
I don't need a TV to be happy.
That's... I...
you guys sure look like
you're having a lot of fun.
Yeah, we... we really are.
Hey, Nikki, have you ever been to Spain?
No, uh, I've always wanted to go,
but this'll be my first time.
Hopefully we'll get to see
the running of the bulls
in lesbian town.
Okay, I think we need to talk.
Of course we do. We're lesbians.
All we do is talk.
Ow.
Noah, I am blown away by your bathroom.
One bottle and it is both the
shampoo and the conditioner.
I'm so glad you're back.
How about a toast?
Um, Noah, you're better
with words than me.
Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm not great at toasts.
Don't be so modest.
Seriously, I... I don't think I...
Yes, please. You are a writer.
Maybe a beautiful toast
about our wedding.
Guys, I...
I'm not gonna be able
to come to the wedding.
- What?
- You're kidding.
That is a terrible toast.
I'm really sorry, guys.
My best friend, Steve,
who's been living abroad
for ten years is coming
into town this weekend.
But it's in three days.
When were you gonna tell us?
After the party.
I thought it might create
an awkward moment.
Guess I was wrong.
This is not what being gay is.
Especially not for you.
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
You know, I Googled "butch lesbian",
but I guess I'm more
of a lipstick lesbian.
Wanna go figure it out on a pile of coats
in Noah's bedroom?
I would like that very much.
I can't believe Noah's
not coming to our wedding.
I know.
The saddest part is that
he will not get to see me
receive the 13 golden coins.
I can't take it!
Estefan, look, I love you,
and I know how much
those coins mean to you.
But the truth is...
- What?
- Jack, I have your coin.
The truth is, I'm pretty darn
sick of you doubting me
and I'd like a moment alone
with my thoughts.
Oh, okay.
I will just go look
at his bathroom again.
He has a bar of soap that says, "Dial".
Harry, you found my coin?
The ER doctor did.
He asked me how it got where it did,
and everything came flooding back.
Me not wanting to dance,
Will saying I was a dancing machine,
you saying if someone put a coin in me,
I had to dance.
Now I remember!
Karen put a coin u...
Please don't finish that sentence.
Noah, this is Jack's wedding.
I know, Grace,
but Steve's my best friend.
Jack is one of Grace's best friends.
You could fly and see him
as soon as we get back.
No, we've been trying
to get together forever.
Noah...
This is really important to me.
And this is really important to me.
Okay.
I understand.
I guess.
There really are no words.
Hey, great news.
I found the coin.
Funny story.
Which you will probably enjoy
at a later date.
I can't do this.
I'm going home before I say
something I'll regret.
'Cause you're right.
Grace would kill me
if I actually told her
that she could do so much
better than Noah.
She is standing right
behind me, isn't she?
She is.
And she wants you to leave.
You don't think I don't know
what you've been doing?
Feeding me vague compliments
like we're backstage
at one of Jack's shows?
Oh, no, no, this is different.
Uh, he doesn't mean
the compliments he gave you.
Look, I was trying to avoid a fight.
But come on. Blowing off Jack's wedding?
- That's kind of a big deal.
- It's his best friend, Will.
I... I've gotta be flexible about this.
He hasn't made any space for you, Grace.
I know you feel that, too.
Look, is Noah perfect? No.
Not even close.
And he's a lot to deal with.
Sometimes he's an absolute bummer.
And he's standing right
behind me, isn't he?
Wow, the rare double-double.