Where the Bears Are (2012–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Party Bears - full transcript
In the second season opener, the Bears attend a political fund raiser pool party for Reggie's fraternity brother from college who is running for City Council where Nelson has a run in with Todd's ex Ivan (Howard Skora), Wood hits it off with a hot party guest (George Unda), and Reggie clashes with a bitchy campaign aide (Ray Singh). Nelson: Ben Zook. Reggie: Rick Copp. Wood: Joe Dietl. Todd: Ian Parks. Jeremy Richards: Mark Rowe. Elliot Butler: Michael Gans. TV Reporter: Karamo Brown.
Mr. Butler, you're an openly gay candidate running against a man who has very strong family values.
How do you think that's going to affect your campaign?
I have strong family values as well.
It's just that my definition of family is slightly different.
I can't believe how far Elliot has come since I knew him in college.
Back then he was this scrawny little bitchy queen.
But now he's this hot Daddy Bear running for City Council and living in this huge house.
Seriously, if I knew back then what I know now,
I totally would have given him that hand job he asked for at Student Orientation.
What are you doing, Wood?
I'm shooting a documentary for Elliot's campaign.
Wood, Elliot's over there by the way.
Yeah, I know.
His crotch is on fire!
Oh dear God. He's staring at me again.
Who? Hot Daddy Bear. Two o'clock.
He should be arrested for some of the thoughts he's having about me.
Reggie, I hate to break it to you. But he's not staring at you. He's staring at me.
Oh, please! That's my ex. Ivan.
Your ex? The one who broke your heart?
Did you know he was coming here today?
Yes. And you didn't warn me?
He's heading this way.
I was waiting for the right moment to tell you. I didn't want you making a scene.
Me? Cause a scene? When have I ever caused a scene?
Where is this coming from?
What's his problem? I mean what's he doing here?
Who invited him anyway? I did.
You? Todd, how could you do that?
You know me seeing him here would be incredibly upsetting.
I was trying to help you. He's kind of his big shot casting director so I thought if you two met...
Casting director? Oh my God! Casting director?
Talk about burying the lead, Todd!
Oh my God! I have to go over there and apologize!
Apologize? That would be a first.
Excuse me. Ivan, is it? Nelson Dorkoff.
I'm really sorry about that little mishap over there.
You probably recognize me from my work.
I am the go to guy for the befuddled adult roles on Disney Channel shows. Thank you.
Actually I did do a small dramatic role in a Lifetime movie
where I played the father of a bulemic teenager named Kaley.
Here is my big scene.
Kaley, listen to me. You don't have to barf to be beautiful
Daddy loves you just the way you are, honey.
Come here, baby. Come to Daddy.
And scene. I have my reel on my phone if you'd like to watch it.
No thanks. I'd rather stick needles in my balls. If you don't mind.
If you think of anything I might be right for in the future...
Sure. If I'm ever casting anything about an insecure, overweight, untalented gay guy
whose much hotter much younger boyfriend is about to leave him for his ex,
I'll be sure to give you a fucking call!
Wow!
Hey there. We haven't met yet. I'm Jeremy Richards.
Oh my God! You are adorable.
Please tell me you are one of these super rich donors with his own private jet
who is going to whisk me off to Paris for dinner after this lame party.
Actually I'm here trying to get Elliot's support for a project I'm starting in Haiti.
Really? Is it one of those all inclusive resorts where you can drink all the free booze you want?
No. Actually it's a non-profit. Building homes for orphans.
Oh. So they allow kids?
Nice package, right? Hey, did you guys buy your raffle tickets yet?
First prize is a weekend getaway to Big Bear
and the more tickets we buy the better chance we have of winning!
Not now, Wood. I need some face time with Elliot.
Shit. Doesn't look like things went too well over there.
Things are going very well over here.
Marcus Martinez. Hi. I'm Wood Burns.
I can see that. I'm a big Colt fan. So you single?
Well, I'm sort of seeing... Fuck it. I don't care.
Where do you think you're going? Inside to see Elliot.
Supporters can have access to the candidate after he's delivered his speech.
I am not just a supporter. Elliot and I went to college together.
Oh is it? Wow. I didn't know he was that old.
He really takes care of himself.
Listen, Slumdog, maybe if you were a millionare I'd actually be listening to right now.
Step one foot in that house and I'll call security.
(text alert)
Elliot? I came as soon as I got your message. Elliot?
How do you think that's going to affect your campaign?
I have strong family values as well.
It's just that my definition of family is slightly different.
I can't believe how far Elliot has come since I knew him in college.
Back then he was this scrawny little bitchy queen.
But now he's this hot Daddy Bear running for City Council and living in this huge house.
Seriously, if I knew back then what I know now,
I totally would have given him that hand job he asked for at Student Orientation.
What are you doing, Wood?
I'm shooting a documentary for Elliot's campaign.
Wood, Elliot's over there by the way.
Yeah, I know.
His crotch is on fire!
Oh dear God. He's staring at me again.
Who? Hot Daddy Bear. Two o'clock.
He should be arrested for some of the thoughts he's having about me.
Reggie, I hate to break it to you. But he's not staring at you. He's staring at me.
Oh, please! That's my ex. Ivan.
Your ex? The one who broke your heart?
Did you know he was coming here today?
Yes. And you didn't warn me?
He's heading this way.
I was waiting for the right moment to tell you. I didn't want you making a scene.
Me? Cause a scene? When have I ever caused a scene?
Where is this coming from?
What's his problem? I mean what's he doing here?
Who invited him anyway? I did.
You? Todd, how could you do that?
You know me seeing him here would be incredibly upsetting.
I was trying to help you. He's kind of his big shot casting director so I thought if you two met...
Casting director? Oh my God! Casting director?
Talk about burying the lead, Todd!
Oh my God! I have to go over there and apologize!
Apologize? That would be a first.
Excuse me. Ivan, is it? Nelson Dorkoff.
I'm really sorry about that little mishap over there.
You probably recognize me from my work.
I am the go to guy for the befuddled adult roles on Disney Channel shows. Thank you.
Actually I did do a small dramatic role in a Lifetime movie
where I played the father of a bulemic teenager named Kaley.
Here is my big scene.
Kaley, listen to me. You don't have to barf to be beautiful
Daddy loves you just the way you are, honey.
Come here, baby. Come to Daddy.
And scene. I have my reel on my phone if you'd like to watch it.
No thanks. I'd rather stick needles in my balls. If you don't mind.
If you think of anything I might be right for in the future...
Sure. If I'm ever casting anything about an insecure, overweight, untalented gay guy
whose much hotter much younger boyfriend is about to leave him for his ex,
I'll be sure to give you a fucking call!
Wow!
Hey there. We haven't met yet. I'm Jeremy Richards.
Oh my God! You are adorable.
Please tell me you are one of these super rich donors with his own private jet
who is going to whisk me off to Paris for dinner after this lame party.
Actually I'm here trying to get Elliot's support for a project I'm starting in Haiti.
Really? Is it one of those all inclusive resorts where you can drink all the free booze you want?
No. Actually it's a non-profit. Building homes for orphans.
Oh. So they allow kids?
Nice package, right? Hey, did you guys buy your raffle tickets yet?
First prize is a weekend getaway to Big Bear
and the more tickets we buy the better chance we have of winning!
Not now, Wood. I need some face time with Elliot.
Shit. Doesn't look like things went too well over there.
Things are going very well over here.
Marcus Martinez. Hi. I'm Wood Burns.
I can see that. I'm a big Colt fan. So you single?
Well, I'm sort of seeing... Fuck it. I don't care.
Where do you think you're going? Inside to see Elliot.
Supporters can have access to the candidate after he's delivered his speech.
I am not just a supporter. Elliot and I went to college together.
Oh is it? Wow. I didn't know he was that old.
He really takes care of himself.
Listen, Slumdog, maybe if you were a millionare I'd actually be listening to right now.
Step one foot in that house and I'll call security.
(text alert)
Elliot? I came as soon as I got your message. Elliot?