Where the Bears Are (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 22 - Bears in the Desert - full transcript
While Reggie and Wood frantically search for a missing Nelson, Detective Chad Winters shows up at the Bears' house with the smoking gun that connects Hot Toddy to J Cub's murder.
Hey everybody. Before you watch Episode 22, I'm gonna show you a quick sneak peek
of what is on our Where The Bears Are Season 1 DVD.
We're going to have it chock full of extras including a 20-minute Christmas episode
where Harry Potter and Susie make a another guest appearance. Take a look.
Oh my God, Harry Potter's here.
I brought you a present
Come New Years,
it's pay back time!
If you do buy the DVD
you also get an uncensored, feature-length version
of our show as a movie with nudity.
There will be a brand new opening title sequence.
We're having outtakes, bloopers, deleted scenes, Wood's Web Cam.
Guys, we are completely self-financed and
the only way that we're going to do a Season 2 is with your help.
If all of our fans go out there and buy a DVD,
we're going to be able to do a Season 2.
So please, right now go to wherethebearsare.tv
Order a DVD. Order one for your friends.
Remember, they make great stocking stuffers.
The holidays are coming up.
And if you order now, you'll get it in time for the holidays.
Thank you guys so much and enjoy the episode.
Nelson, Wood and I feel terrible how we left things at Akbar last night.
We love you, we miss you and we want you to come home.
We're a little worried we haven't heard from you.
So, please call, okay?
We miss you.
Anything?
No. I mean, his suitcase is missing and his underwear drawer is empty.
Oh my God! Do you think he moved out?
It's his house.
So, probably not. No.
So where is he?
Did you check the house phone to see if we had any messages?
There was only 1 message.
But I couldn't understand the guy. He had a really thick accent.
Oh, that's Cyril.
He's been pushing that timeshare of his in Palm Springs cause he's broke.
Wait a minute. Maybe that where Nelson went.
(doorbell)
Okay, you answer that, I'll call Cyril.
Hey Detective Winters.
You must be here for Reggie.
I'll go get him. No, no, no.
Please don't let him know I'm here.
He makes me very uncomfortable.
I need to talk to you. Can you come out for a second?
So I probably have a calendar or something in there if you want me to sign.
As tempting as that is,
I'm hear about Todd Stevens.
Oh, Hot Toddy?
Yes. We found some very interesting emails on Jcub's computer sent from Todd's account.
What kind e-mails?
Disturbing ones. Threatening to kill him if he didn't take his love for him seriously.
Do you know where I can find him?
I don't have a clue.
I know, but do you know where I can find Todd Stevens?
Oh, you mean, you don't know where he is.
Sorry. Here take my card incase anything comes up.
Anything?
Anything pertaining to the case.
Well, we can relax. Cyril said he rented the condo to Hot Toddy and Nelson for the weekend.
So we know where they are.
You know I'm actually beginning to understand what Cyril says.
I'm calling the Police.
I should probably get going anyway.
Why wouldn't he want to talk to the Police?
Just my Boyfriend.
I know where you live.
Did you tell this to the Police?
No, I haven't actually called them back yet.
What kind of emails?
Threatening to kill him if he didn't take his love for him seriously.
Come on you guys. We all have to be thinking the same thing.
Hot Toddy! Hot Toddy! Hot Toddy!
Todd Stevens! Hot Toddy! Hot Toddy!
Hot Toddy!
Toddy!
Who's at the door?
Detective Winters.
Why didn't you come get me? You know he was here to see me.
Hot Toddy.
He's the killer!
What are you talking about?
We got to go to Palm Springs!
No, no, no. We got to stop the Detective! What, WHAT?!
Detective Winters! Detective Winters!! Wait! Wait! Stop!
Oh my God, I could have sworn he saw me.
We made I contact and everything. Why wouldn't he stop?
Forget him alright. The way I drive, we will get there faster than the cops.
Give Nelson a try again.
Damn it! I got his voicemail. Should I leave a message?
Start the car! No, no, no.
Let me try calling him, alright.
Sometimes he screens your calls because he doesn't want to have to talk to you.
Oh really? That's nice.
Remember, when you get him on the line, remember to stay calm.
Todd could be with him and we don't want Nelson panicking.
Absolutely. We don't want to tip off Todd.
Hi, this is Nelson. Oh, I got his machine too.
I'm probably busy with my hot boyfriend, jealous?
Hey Nelson, It's…it's Wood.
When you hear this message I want to stay calm.
Under no circumstances should you react to this message.
Especially, if Todd is with you. Okay?
Detective Winters has confirmed it. Todd is…
A CRAZED MANIAC!! GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!
AND SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! YOU'RE A FUCKING DEAD MAN!!
HE'S GONNA SLIT YOUR THROAT!!
Oh my God!
You call that trying to be calm?
I'm sorry. We just have to get to Nelson.
Where are we going to exactly? Palm Springs.
I know that you imbecile. Palm Springs is a huge city in the desert.
Do we have an address? Should I call Cyril again?
No, no, no. Wait a minuite.
I remember seeing his address on a card he had sent me.
It was for an invitation for a sex party, back in April.
Sex Party?! Why wasn't I invited?
He wanted tops.
So why were you invited.
I have made out with Cyril numerous times.
He had a sex party and didn't invite me?
Look, It's not important.
I can use my photogenic memory and remember the address. Just…
Okay, what is it?
Who has a sex party and doesn't invite me?
I mean, unbelievable!
Got it! Let's go!
You haven't answered my question!
Keep trying! Keep trying!
This is heaven.
I never want to leave. And I'm never letting you go either.
Ooh, music to my ears.
(phone vibrates)
of what is on our Where The Bears Are Season 1 DVD.
We're going to have it chock full of extras including a 20-minute Christmas episode
where Harry Potter and Susie make a another guest appearance. Take a look.
Oh my God, Harry Potter's here.
I brought you a present
Come New Years,
it's pay back time!
If you do buy the DVD
you also get an uncensored, feature-length version
of our show as a movie with nudity.
There will be a brand new opening title sequence.
We're having outtakes, bloopers, deleted scenes, Wood's Web Cam.
Guys, we are completely self-financed and
the only way that we're going to do a Season 2 is with your help.
If all of our fans go out there and buy a DVD,
we're going to be able to do a Season 2.
So please, right now go to wherethebearsare.tv
Order a DVD. Order one for your friends.
Remember, they make great stocking stuffers.
The holidays are coming up.
And if you order now, you'll get it in time for the holidays.
Thank you guys so much and enjoy the episode.
Nelson, Wood and I feel terrible how we left things at Akbar last night.
We love you, we miss you and we want you to come home.
We're a little worried we haven't heard from you.
So, please call, okay?
We miss you.
Anything?
No. I mean, his suitcase is missing and his underwear drawer is empty.
Oh my God! Do you think he moved out?
It's his house.
So, probably not. No.
So where is he?
Did you check the house phone to see if we had any messages?
There was only 1 message.
But I couldn't understand the guy. He had a really thick accent.
Oh, that's Cyril.
He's been pushing that timeshare of his in Palm Springs cause he's broke.
Wait a minute. Maybe that where Nelson went.
(doorbell)
Okay, you answer that, I'll call Cyril.
Hey Detective Winters.
You must be here for Reggie.
I'll go get him. No, no, no.
Please don't let him know I'm here.
He makes me very uncomfortable.
I need to talk to you. Can you come out for a second?
So I probably have a calendar or something in there if you want me to sign.
As tempting as that is,
I'm hear about Todd Stevens.
Oh, Hot Toddy?
Yes. We found some very interesting emails on Jcub's computer sent from Todd's account.
What kind e-mails?
Disturbing ones. Threatening to kill him if he didn't take his love for him seriously.
Do you know where I can find him?
I don't have a clue.
I know, but do you know where I can find Todd Stevens?
Oh, you mean, you don't know where he is.
Sorry. Here take my card incase anything comes up.
Anything?
Anything pertaining to the case.
Well, we can relax. Cyril said he rented the condo to Hot Toddy and Nelson for the weekend.
So we know where they are.
You know I'm actually beginning to understand what Cyril says.
I'm calling the Police.
I should probably get going anyway.
Why wouldn't he want to talk to the Police?
Just my Boyfriend.
I know where you live.
Did you tell this to the Police?
No, I haven't actually called them back yet.
What kind of emails?
Threatening to kill him if he didn't take his love for him seriously.
Come on you guys. We all have to be thinking the same thing.
Hot Toddy! Hot Toddy! Hot Toddy!
Todd Stevens! Hot Toddy! Hot Toddy!
Hot Toddy!
Toddy!
Who's at the door?
Detective Winters.
Why didn't you come get me? You know he was here to see me.
Hot Toddy.
He's the killer!
What are you talking about?
We got to go to Palm Springs!
No, no, no. We got to stop the Detective! What, WHAT?!
Detective Winters! Detective Winters!! Wait! Wait! Stop!
Oh my God, I could have sworn he saw me.
We made I contact and everything. Why wouldn't he stop?
Forget him alright. The way I drive, we will get there faster than the cops.
Give Nelson a try again.
Damn it! I got his voicemail. Should I leave a message?
Start the car! No, no, no.
Let me try calling him, alright.
Sometimes he screens your calls because he doesn't want to have to talk to you.
Oh really? That's nice.
Remember, when you get him on the line, remember to stay calm.
Todd could be with him and we don't want Nelson panicking.
Absolutely. We don't want to tip off Todd.
Hi, this is Nelson. Oh, I got his machine too.
I'm probably busy with my hot boyfriend, jealous?
Hey Nelson, It's…it's Wood.
When you hear this message I want to stay calm.
Under no circumstances should you react to this message.
Especially, if Todd is with you. Okay?
Detective Winters has confirmed it. Todd is…
A CRAZED MANIAC!! GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!!
AND SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! YOU'RE A FUCKING DEAD MAN!!
HE'S GONNA SLIT YOUR THROAT!!
Oh my God!
You call that trying to be calm?
I'm sorry. We just have to get to Nelson.
Where are we going to exactly? Palm Springs.
I know that you imbecile. Palm Springs is a huge city in the desert.
Do we have an address? Should I call Cyril again?
No, no, no. Wait a minuite.
I remember seeing his address on a card he had sent me.
It was for an invitation for a sex party, back in April.
Sex Party?! Why wasn't I invited?
He wanted tops.
So why were you invited.
I have made out with Cyril numerous times.
He had a sex party and didn't invite me?
Look, It's not important.
I can use my photogenic memory and remember the address. Just…
Okay, what is it?
Who has a sex party and doesn't invite me?
I mean, unbelievable!
Got it! Let's go!
You haven't answered my question!
Keep trying! Keep trying!
This is heaven.
I never want to leave. And I'm never letting you go either.
Ooh, music to my ears.
(phone vibrates)