Where Do You Live? (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Episode #2.6 - full transcript
Give it up for our new karaoke star!
Don't forget where you saw her first.
You're not ready to come home yet.
I've never been to therapy.
-There's always a first time.
Once I was so hurt by this guy.
I have your mom to thank.
My mom?
-Yes.
She encouraged me to talk about it.
Why are you butting in
between me and Mali, huh?
I won't let you ruin this
like you did with my exes.
I got you gigs 3 months in advance.
You bring honor to our community.
I'm looking for a gift for Hai.
This is nice.
I swear nothing happened.
I don't believe a word you say.
Nice.
-What are you doing here?
I came to see you at work,
to apologize.
I was told you're here.
Hai, we're busy here,
you're in the way.
Give me a serious look.
Nice.
Now smile. Smile.
Smile.
Not like this, smile.
Nice.
Now, pretend you're holding a microphone.
Microphone. That's it.
Look.
-What are you doing?
You don't have to be in the picture.
-Hold on, look at the camera.
Awesome.
Now look at me.
I don't think you have to be
in the picture.
But it's a package deal.
Two for the price of one.
Gig and photographer.
What if they don't want you?
-Dude,
then you won't perform.
They'll agree,
they won't have a choice.
Got it?
-I don't know.
Enough with the phone already!
I'm trying to work here.
-Sorry.
Turn it off.
-Alright.
Who's calling you anyways?
-The girl from last night.
Nah...
Did you get it on?
Not now, we're working.
Take the picture. -Tell me.
I took her home.
Let's do this.
And...?
Nothing, she asked if I want to come up.
That's something else.
Dude,
tell me about it
instead of being all silent.
So? Any hanky panky?
Come on, you're the man.
A man has to behave like a man.
Right.
-Good for you. -Yes.
And...?
Gimme details.
What?
-Nothing.
We drank green tea and I left.
Sucker.
I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
What a shame.
How did you do?
-Me...
I'm married, I can't. You know...
And my wife didn't step out
with someone else...
She's a true Bukharan.
Noble from nobility.
Oh no.
What's going on here?
I didn't know you're coming back
to the "Foto" today.
We'll come back some other time.
Don't forget to pick up the kids.
Who's he?
None of your business.
Margo, don't start.
Benbenisti.
He's my music producer
and I sing at his karaoke club.
Your wife sings real, real nice.
Who are you to tell me
how my wife sings?
Unlike you, he heard me
and he's going to produce my CD.
At his expense.
Unlike me?
Who told you
you have the voice of a nightingale, who?
He did, I heard him say it.
And now I'm a producer.
I discovered him,
I discovered you.
You can shoot my CD cover.
Booyah!
Benbenisti says I need something timeless.
Great.
She won't let me in my house,
but dude can shoot her CD cover...
I never had a problem
with your photography, Bekhor.
I'll shoot your CD cover
so you can amuse yourself
with assholes like this?
Hey.
Watch your mouth.
Ask anyone who Benbenisti is.
Okay.
Listen, motherfucker,
I don't give a rat's ass who you are.
Stay away from my wife.
Bekhor, the guy's a fridge.
A fridge?
I'll stuff him in the freezer.
Wait for me outside now.
I'll be right out.
Outside.
-Yes.
If you need me, I'm outside.
"If you need me?"
That's my wife, you idiot! -Bekhor.
Just because of your eyes
I didn't tear him apart.
Ooh, some man...
Whenever I tend to forget
you remind me
why I should never come near you!
Margo...
will never step out with someone else.
Noble.
Dude, shut the hell up.
That Benbenisti fella looks kinda nice.
How are you?
What are you doing?
Ice ballet,
what does it look like?
This is Bekhor's.
You fold his underpants too?
He's my son,
but don't worry,
a domestic peace expert is coming.
Who? Zipora?
God forbid.
They mustn't know.
Not a word.
No, someone who knows
how to keep a secret.
Don't you say a word.
Hello to the Shem-Tov family.
Welcome to our home, esteemed Rabbi.
Please come in.
When is the last time
you checked your mezuzahs?
When a mezuzah isn't kosher,
the troubles begin.
You have to check the mezuzahs.
Maybe that's why our Bekhor is suffering.
Hey. -Hi.
How did you get here?
-By bus.
Feldman called.
He wants to know
where things stand with the logo.
What should I tell him?
Does it have to be now?
-No, no.
No pressure.
What should I tell him?
Tell him to be patient.
Okay.
Anything else?
-No.
I saw you sent the "Royal Elite" flyers.
Yes, a long time ago.
Great.
Okay...
Um... -Yes.
I'll try to finish Feldman's logo
by tomorrow afternoon.
Okay, awesome. Thanks.
Please sit down.
Well done, well done.
What righteous sons.
Who would go all the way to Bukhara
to get a Torah scroll?
Moldova at best,
to get a wife.
Kids like yours make the community proud.
Then talk to her.
Throwing a man like that out of the house,
can you believe it?
She threw him out
because he cheated on her.
And she went to sing with another man.
Wait, please.
What I'm hearing
is no simple matter.
A wayward wife
and an adulterous husband, God help us.
This demands repair from the root.
Hold on there,
no root canal here,
he's not an adulterous husband.
One time...
It happened.
Between us men,
what man these days doesn't...
And she's not wayward.
She has a nice voice,
she wants to sing.
You can't lock her up at home.
Rabbi, it's the evil eye.
You know how many people
are jealous of us?
Envious of us?
Well...
this demands...
Domestic peace.
Wait.
Please.
Domestic peace.
-Yes.
Then go talk to her.
But first talk to the ass.
Don't listen to him.
He never liked him.
You have to talk to her.
First he should talk to this ass.
Talk to her.
First I will talk to Him.
My dear man.
Your dear man?
What an honor,
a new, glorious Torah scroll
for the synagogue.
Thank you.
-You did a wonderful deed.
Rescuing the Torah from Gentiles
is like the duty of releasing fellow Jews.
Thank you.
He who saves one Torah scroll
saved a whole synagogue, right?
Did you put on tefillin this morning?
-I did. Back off.
Why would I back off?
Did you pray this morning?
It won't do me any good.
-God forbid.
No.
God is merciful and gracious.
He sees His son praying,
putting of tefillin,
instant mercy.
It's never too late to go home.
How do you know I'm not home?
I meant home, to God.
And your parents told me.
I knew it.
My mother sent you.
No. He sent me.
Tell Him that I'm doing just fine.
-Bekhor.
Thank you.
My door is open to you at night.
-Thank you.
At noon. -Thanks.
-Late afternoon.
Rabbi...
-From sunset to...
You don't want to be late
for prayer service.
Will you come?
-Maybe. -Maybe?
What does that mean?
Maybe.
Tonight is Matatov's wedding.
Do more Hebrew, more standup,
imitations, Oren Hazan. (politician)
Bring the glasses.
-Sure thing.
Tomorrow it's Pirov.
The 85th birthday?
Do more Bukharan,
Hussni, Pussni, you know.
Imitations of old-time politicians.
Sharon?
More old-time.
Herzl?
Stalin.
No, 'coz I do a killer Balfour.
-Fine.
Wednesday, most important.
Wednesday, I just booked it,
Haimov's bris.
Give them Elsa?
-Very funny.
Dora.
-Very funny.
Okay, you got it all down?
So you don't do the eulogy bit
at the bris...
Ease up, Bekhor,
I know what I'm doing.
You're welcome.
Look how many gigs I got you!
Okay, you sit and prepare.
Write some kickass jokes.
I'm outta here.
-What?
What do you need me for?
-Me?
I don't need you,
your customers do.
Are you leaving me alone?
If someone comes in,
you know what to do.
Get rid of 'em and write.
You have to write,
don't let anyone disturb you.
Sit and write.
You don't need me here. Bye.
Bekhor.
Feldman again?
No.
I want to talk to you.
Do you have a minute?
Yes.
First of all,
I want you to know I'm here for you.
If you want to talk,
if you need anything. -Thanks.
Second, I want you to know
that I'm very happy
my mom helped you.
She's very good at what she does.
-Yes.
Ever since my first kiss
she has found a way to butt in
in all my relationships.
We don't talk about you,
more about me.
Fine, whatever.
As long as she helped you,
you told me,
now we can deal with it together,
the two of us.
Listen, I'm so happy I have you, I am,
but this can't be solved in one session.
So you're going to keep seeing her?
Now that I found her
I won't give her up.
Then marry her and that's it.
-She's taken.
I don't get you,
there are tons of great therapists.
You really don't get me, huh?
You know how hard it was for me
to open up to someone?
How hard it was to find
someone who listens to me?
Sure, I can't...
You can't,
then drop this childish Oedipus complex
and maybe you'll understand
what I'm going through.
If you so want to be there for me.
Oedipus?
Where's Bekhor?
At a supplier.
Dad, you're just on time.
I want to read what I wrote
for the gig tonight.
How exciting. Hold on.
Sweet boy, let me sit down.
Yes.
Here goes.
We have rituals for...
the baby in the crib,
the child going to school,
the boy who cuts his nails,
eating sugar before a wedding,
engagement, plucking eyebrows,
but for waxing hair off the back,
we have no ritual...
Yes, and...?
Something else.
When Israelis hear Bukharans speaking,
it always sounds
like someone typing on a keyboard
like this.
Dad, it's killer.
What's funny about it?
It's insulting.
Where's Bekhor?
I told him not leave the albums out.
What are you here for?
Clear everything away from the cash register.
And tidy up the shelves.
-You're right.
I can't write when you're here.
Where are you going?
Hey, sweetie.
"Sweetie" your mother.
Where are you?
I'm in a meeting at the venue
with the couple on the 27th.
What is it?
Your daughter is waiting for you
outside the school.
It's 14:00 already?
It's 15:00, Bekhor.
Take it easy, I'm leaving now.
Take it easy?
Her teacher called me.
What did she want?
That we take the child home...
Alright, tell her not to make a fuss.
I'm on my way.
Yes, the teacher is making a fuss.
Tell me, does your operating system
not have an apology function?
Forget it.
Why am I even surprised?
You think I was never forgotten?
Big deal.
I'm leaving now.
Don't, I'm there already.
Oh, great, good for you.
Then I'll get on with my meeting.
Just a few details to settle
and I'll be right there.
Get on with your meeting,
and don't bother
coming to see the kids
because I won't open the door for you.
Wait, Margo. Margo.
Listen... Margo!
Your mother...
So, where were we?
Wait.
I'm not in the mood.
Would you like some white wine?
When you're Bukharan
you have to start your day
with "Chu kaimuki and "Noni toki."
Not funny.
When you're Bukharan
you have to eat a lot of...
No idea.... please translate the Hebrew text
No, that's not funny.
It's funny.
Lungs in honey, that's funny.
Please.
Mom, what do you want?
Nothing. I'm just cleaning.
But I think,
maybe you should write,
parsley, parsley, that's funny.
-Mom, stop, stop.
I can't concentrate.
Mom, are you finishing up here?
Instead of "thank you..."
Thank you for cleaning your living room
while I'm writing.
Thank you for giving you funny ideas.
You should do Arik Sharon,
Shimon Peretz.
That's funny.
Mom, I want to do something else,
high comedy,
not Hussni, Pussni all the time.
High, high.
You're high, it will be high.
Do Hussni,
Hussni goes with Arik Sharon,
with Shimon Peretz
to the Bukharan cemetery.
That's funny?
That's funny.
No more Hussni.
Then do Hussni goes to a wedding.
-Stop!
I have a gig tonight!
You're stressing me out.
Go away, Mom.
Is it so hard to write
a few funny words?
Go ahead. Sit down.
You want me to...
-Yes.
It's easy, right? Go ahead.
-No problem.
Be my guest.
Does this have Bukharan letters?
No, Mom, no Bukharan letters.
Okay, then you write.
Do Shamir,
Shamir on your knees.
You do it so funny.
People...
It's funny.
Bekhor.
Rabbi, can I put this up here?
Let's see what's underneath.
That was last week.
-Okay.
Fine. What is this?
You know I photograph events and...
-Yes.
Lately the events are so boring.
-Yes.
And Hai finished his acting class
and he's so funny
so he makes people happy.
He looks serious here.
That's what's funny,
that he looks serious.
And you're smiling.
-Yes.
I see your teeth.
-Yes,
so we're doing two for one,
laughing and taking pictures.
Laughing and taking pictures.
-Yes.
So it's okay?
-Sure.
Laughing and taking pictures
and praying too?
Complete a quorum for me.
Come. -Now?
-Yes, just a few minutes.
How long will it take?
-Come.
Come in, we have a quorum.
Do you have a kippah?
-Yes. Come.
I hear a lot of anger in your voice.
It's more sadness.
Why are you sad?
Because I'm angry.
I think it's too late.
I think this ruined my relationship with Guy
and it can't be fixed.
Does Guy feel the same way?
-Let's not talk about him,
he hates the fact that I'm coming here.
I see.
It's like I let him down or something.
It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What do you mean?
Look,
your formative experience
is one where you're rejected
after sexual relations,
you fear this will always be the case,
that it will be the same with Guy.
I know that Guy loves me,
but I can't convince myself
that with him it will be different.
You must understand that
the voice that's telling you you're unworthy
is not really your voice.
It's the voice of that man at the club
and only you, Mali,
can shut him up.
Now, listen,
I want us to do a little exercise.
Take that cushion
that's in your hand,
put it on your lap,
clench your fists
and punch it hard and scream.
Shut his mouth.
Okay.
Again?
Harder, harder.
Yes. Scream.
Nice.
Hard.
Nice. And scream.
Scream what?
"You're not the boss of me."
You're not the boss of me.
-That's it. Louder.
Didn't you eat breakfast this morning?
You're not the boss of me.
-Nice. Harder.
Harder.
-You won't control me.
You won't control me... Go.
That's it. Yes.
Bekhor, open this book at random,
on any page you want.
Just open it?
Just open it.
Praise God.
Look where you opened it.
Chapter 81.
Did I tell you to open it here?
-No, no.
I see what the problem is,
but first you tell me.
What can I say, Rabbi?
She got this crazy idea in her head.
-Yes.
She wants to sing at clubs, discos,
she's out with producers,
in high heels, cleavage.
A married woman.
It's not right.
Did you try talking to her?
She won't listen,
she won't talk.
She sent me back to my mom,
she won't let me see the kids.
She's out at night, it's embarrassing.
Everyone can see her.
I see. That's her.
What about you?
Why is she so angry?
I made a mistake with some woman.
A long time ago. One time.
I apologized.
Nothing.
You have trust issues.
You don't trust her,
she doesn't trust you.
It's like horses that ran away
from the stable.
They run and run and run.
How will you bring them home?
You'll yell? -Yes.
They won't come back.
You'll run after them?
-Yes.
They'll run faster.
What did Rabbi Maimon do?
-What?
He got on his horse,
galloped, galloped, galloped
to catch up with the herd.
He got there.
At first he was last.
He kept galloping
and got to the middle of the herd,
he kept galloping to be in the lead.
He got to the lead,
slowly turned left
and all the horses followed.
Then he turned left again
and all the horses followed.
He got them to make a U-turn
until they returned to the stable.
You see?
At first he was one of them,
he gained their trust
then gradually brought them back.
First regain her trust,
then mold her as you will,
she will stray no more.
I'm sorry, Rabbi, I zoned out,
can you repeat what you said?
Just as God is testing you,
so is she.
You must show her
you have serious intentions,
that you're willing to change for her.
But what about her change, Rabbi?
She wants clubs, CDs,
songs, producers.
One step at a time.
First regain her trust
then mold her as you will.
All that just by opening the book?
-Yes.
But I know about women too.
Yours truly is married a third time.
So many horses ran away from the stable...
Horses, mares and asses.
You've been running a lot lately.
Praise God.
-Praise be He.
I wouldn't be exaggerating...
Take pictures from over there, Bekhor.
I wouldn't be exaggerating
if I said that our Bukharans
love to exaggerate.
We grew up on your stories in Uzbekistan.
What was it like in Bukhara?
What was it like in Shahrisabz?
I had a big house.
No beginning and no end.
Isn't that exaggerating?
Exaggerating? That's how it was.
Where are you from?
-Shahrisabz.
And what kind of house did you have?
There, I told you.
Hey, stop making fun of me.
I'm not.
Forget Shahrisabz.
Samarkand.
Is Samarkand better?
After all your stories
I was sure that Samarkand is made of gold.
What do you have against Samarkand?
Nothing, I'm just saying,
the Bukharans exaggerate.
I mean...
Samarkand is all gold?
You know, maybe in some teeth, but not...
Maybe your Bukharans
from your Bukhara exaggerated.
Okay, let's talk about this country.
Is this place any better?
My mother used to say...
I'm Apa Hussni from Tel Kabir.
My kids took me to a wedding,
a 3 hour drive.
I got hungry.
Luckily I had a piece of fish in my pocket
from my grandfather's memorial service.
I took it out and ate it.
Excuse me, kids, can you leave?
Hai has an important meeting
with his lawyer.
It's alright,
I fired my lawyer.
This lawyer doesn't give up.
She's a pain.
Those crackheads.
What do you have against Samarkand?
That was good compared
to the imitation of the grandmother...
My aunt and uncle loved you.
At least someone loves me.
It was fine, Hai.
Yup, fine.
The critique that's every actor's dream.
It's okay,
you can tell me the truth.
It started out embarrassing
and didn't get any better.
It wasn't bad, it was...
What? Tell me.
Low.
Low.
I didn't notice
that now that you're a lawyer
imitations of old ladies are beneath you.
That's not what I said.
I think you started out good,
then you reverted to the kerchief.
That's all.
When I perform at the Bar Association
I won't do the second bit,
I'll only do the first bit.
And if you don't mind,
I have another gig in Samarkand
and you probably have to get
to a clothes store.
Look, it's Hai.
Let's get a selfie.
-Sure thing.
Cool.
Awesome.
-Sure thing.
Kids, kids, go over there.
Thank you.
How are you?
-Hai, buddy,
the show was amazing.
Thank you very much.
-Way to go.
It was a bit short, but amazing.
Now give us a little something extra.
No, pal, that's it, I'm done.
"I'm done?"
Second sitting is in 40 minutes.
A little something.
-Friend,
that was my second show today
and I have another one after this.
Enough.
Your second. Fine.
Alright.
Pal, this is 500,
we said 1.000.
We said 30 minutes.
That wasn't 30 minutes, brother.
Bro, I went on at 18:00
and now it's...
18:27.
You see?
That's not 30 minutes.
Half a show, half the money.
For three minutes less?
-A promise is a promise.
Go on, give us another three minutes
and I'll pay you your money.
I don't need your money, dear brother.
You're a cheapskate, a sponger.
I don't need your money.
Margo.
Kids, to bed now.
Bekhor, I told you not to come.
Now you woke them up.
Fine, I'm going.
I went shopping.
I brought stuff for the house.
Tomato puree, eggs,
the smoked cheese that you like,
that garlic-dill that gives you
that smell that I like,
your sugared pecans.
The chocolate bar that you love
and gummy bears for the kids.
In any case, I'm leaving it all here.
You can take it to your mother.
What? Go back inside!
Margo.
Margo.
Margo, please,
cut the nonsense.
Mommy, just for a little while.
We'll do homework all week.
Kiss the kids for me.
Tell them Daddy loves them.
For the kids.
My sweeties, I missed you.
I missed you so much.
Daddy loves you.
Look what I got you.
I got you a horse. A horse.
Look what I got you.
-You have 10 minutes.
Wow! I love it.
What's this? Halloween?
Is Esti home?
-In her room.
What do you want?
-I...
May I?
Esti, dear, your artiste is here.
Just a heads up,
so she doesn't get scared by your face.
Go in, lady.
You're so annoying.
Me?
You're stupid,
acting like a moron.
So you have to pay me back?
Aren't you the adult here?
That's why I went to that gig, idiot.
You think I wanted to go
to my cousin's husband's thing?
How do you do it? How?
What?
You always know how I feel
before I know myself.
I have this sixth sense.
I see dead people.
I'm sorry I went off on you.
Which time?
Now? Then?
You see how low I go
when I'm not with you?
You deserve it.
When I saw you in the audience
you had this expression
that brought up everything I feel.
What expression?
That one.
I didn't become an actor for this,
to suffer,
to have no control of my life
and the thing is I don't care
when I'm not with you,
when I don't see you.
If there's one thing I'm sure of,
it's you
and that's where it should all begin.
So I may not be a lawyer,
though I could do very well like this,
but I won't be Hussni my whole life.
You idiot.
You really think
I want a lawyer?
Do Hussni all day long,
just don't lie to me ever again.
Got it?
I'm sorry.
I love you.
They're asleep.
Thank you.
-Good night. -Good night.
There's stuff in there
that has to be in the fridge.
Your garlic-dill.
Thank you.
Damn.
I am timeless.
What's this?
Wow, it's amazing.
Esti, not now,
it's for the engagement.
Wow, it's insane.
Thank you.
Don't forget where you saw her first.
You're not ready to come home yet.
I've never been to therapy.
-There's always a first time.
Once I was so hurt by this guy.
I have your mom to thank.
My mom?
-Yes.
She encouraged me to talk about it.
Why are you butting in
between me and Mali, huh?
I won't let you ruin this
like you did with my exes.
I got you gigs 3 months in advance.
You bring honor to our community.
I'm looking for a gift for Hai.
This is nice.
I swear nothing happened.
I don't believe a word you say.
Nice.
-What are you doing here?
I came to see you at work,
to apologize.
I was told you're here.
Hai, we're busy here,
you're in the way.
Give me a serious look.
Nice.
Now smile. Smile.
Smile.
Not like this, smile.
Nice.
Now, pretend you're holding a microphone.
Microphone. That's it.
Look.
-What are you doing?
You don't have to be in the picture.
-Hold on, look at the camera.
Awesome.
Now look at me.
I don't think you have to be
in the picture.
But it's a package deal.
Two for the price of one.
Gig and photographer.
What if they don't want you?
-Dude,
then you won't perform.
They'll agree,
they won't have a choice.
Got it?
-I don't know.
Enough with the phone already!
I'm trying to work here.
-Sorry.
Turn it off.
-Alright.
Who's calling you anyways?
-The girl from last night.
Nah...
Did you get it on?
Not now, we're working.
Take the picture. -Tell me.
I took her home.
Let's do this.
And...?
Nothing, she asked if I want to come up.
That's something else.
Dude,
tell me about it
instead of being all silent.
So? Any hanky panky?
Come on, you're the man.
A man has to behave like a man.
Right.
-Good for you. -Yes.
And...?
Gimme details.
What?
-Nothing.
We drank green tea and I left.
Sucker.
I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
What a shame.
How did you do?
-Me...
I'm married, I can't. You know...
And my wife didn't step out
with someone else...
She's a true Bukharan.
Noble from nobility.
Oh no.
What's going on here?
I didn't know you're coming back
to the "Foto" today.
We'll come back some other time.
Don't forget to pick up the kids.
Who's he?
None of your business.
Margo, don't start.
Benbenisti.
He's my music producer
and I sing at his karaoke club.
Your wife sings real, real nice.
Who are you to tell me
how my wife sings?
Unlike you, he heard me
and he's going to produce my CD.
At his expense.
Unlike me?
Who told you
you have the voice of a nightingale, who?
He did, I heard him say it.
And now I'm a producer.
I discovered him,
I discovered you.
You can shoot my CD cover.
Booyah!
Benbenisti says I need something timeless.
Great.
She won't let me in my house,
but dude can shoot her CD cover...
I never had a problem
with your photography, Bekhor.
I'll shoot your CD cover
so you can amuse yourself
with assholes like this?
Hey.
Watch your mouth.
Ask anyone who Benbenisti is.
Okay.
Listen, motherfucker,
I don't give a rat's ass who you are.
Stay away from my wife.
Bekhor, the guy's a fridge.
A fridge?
I'll stuff him in the freezer.
Wait for me outside now.
I'll be right out.
Outside.
-Yes.
If you need me, I'm outside.
"If you need me?"
That's my wife, you idiot! -Bekhor.
Just because of your eyes
I didn't tear him apart.
Ooh, some man...
Whenever I tend to forget
you remind me
why I should never come near you!
Margo...
will never step out with someone else.
Noble.
Dude, shut the hell up.
That Benbenisti fella looks kinda nice.
How are you?
What are you doing?
Ice ballet,
what does it look like?
This is Bekhor's.
You fold his underpants too?
He's my son,
but don't worry,
a domestic peace expert is coming.
Who? Zipora?
God forbid.
They mustn't know.
Not a word.
No, someone who knows
how to keep a secret.
Don't you say a word.
Hello to the Shem-Tov family.
Welcome to our home, esteemed Rabbi.
Please come in.
When is the last time
you checked your mezuzahs?
When a mezuzah isn't kosher,
the troubles begin.
You have to check the mezuzahs.
Maybe that's why our Bekhor is suffering.
Hey. -Hi.
How did you get here?
-By bus.
Feldman called.
He wants to know
where things stand with the logo.
What should I tell him?
Does it have to be now?
-No, no.
No pressure.
What should I tell him?
Tell him to be patient.
Okay.
Anything else?
-No.
I saw you sent the "Royal Elite" flyers.
Yes, a long time ago.
Great.
Okay...
Um... -Yes.
I'll try to finish Feldman's logo
by tomorrow afternoon.
Okay, awesome. Thanks.
Please sit down.
Well done, well done.
What righteous sons.
Who would go all the way to Bukhara
to get a Torah scroll?
Moldova at best,
to get a wife.
Kids like yours make the community proud.
Then talk to her.
Throwing a man like that out of the house,
can you believe it?
She threw him out
because he cheated on her.
And she went to sing with another man.
Wait, please.
What I'm hearing
is no simple matter.
A wayward wife
and an adulterous husband, God help us.
This demands repair from the root.
Hold on there,
no root canal here,
he's not an adulterous husband.
One time...
It happened.
Between us men,
what man these days doesn't...
And she's not wayward.
She has a nice voice,
she wants to sing.
You can't lock her up at home.
Rabbi, it's the evil eye.
You know how many people
are jealous of us?
Envious of us?
Well...
this demands...
Domestic peace.
Wait.
Please.
Domestic peace.
-Yes.
Then go talk to her.
But first talk to the ass.
Don't listen to him.
He never liked him.
You have to talk to her.
First he should talk to this ass.
Talk to her.
First I will talk to Him.
My dear man.
Your dear man?
What an honor,
a new, glorious Torah scroll
for the synagogue.
Thank you.
-You did a wonderful deed.
Rescuing the Torah from Gentiles
is like the duty of releasing fellow Jews.
Thank you.
He who saves one Torah scroll
saved a whole synagogue, right?
Did you put on tefillin this morning?
-I did. Back off.
Why would I back off?
Did you pray this morning?
It won't do me any good.
-God forbid.
No.
God is merciful and gracious.
He sees His son praying,
putting of tefillin,
instant mercy.
It's never too late to go home.
How do you know I'm not home?
I meant home, to God.
And your parents told me.
I knew it.
My mother sent you.
No. He sent me.
Tell Him that I'm doing just fine.
-Bekhor.
Thank you.
My door is open to you at night.
-Thank you.
At noon. -Thanks.
-Late afternoon.
Rabbi...
-From sunset to...
You don't want to be late
for prayer service.
Will you come?
-Maybe. -Maybe?
What does that mean?
Maybe.
Tonight is Matatov's wedding.
Do more Hebrew, more standup,
imitations, Oren Hazan. (politician)
Bring the glasses.
-Sure thing.
Tomorrow it's Pirov.
The 85th birthday?
Do more Bukharan,
Hussni, Pussni, you know.
Imitations of old-time politicians.
Sharon?
More old-time.
Herzl?
Stalin.
No, 'coz I do a killer Balfour.
-Fine.
Wednesday, most important.
Wednesday, I just booked it,
Haimov's bris.
Give them Elsa?
-Very funny.
Dora.
-Very funny.
Okay, you got it all down?
So you don't do the eulogy bit
at the bris...
Ease up, Bekhor,
I know what I'm doing.
You're welcome.
Look how many gigs I got you!
Okay, you sit and prepare.
Write some kickass jokes.
I'm outta here.
-What?
What do you need me for?
-Me?
I don't need you,
your customers do.
Are you leaving me alone?
If someone comes in,
you know what to do.
Get rid of 'em and write.
You have to write,
don't let anyone disturb you.
Sit and write.
You don't need me here. Bye.
Bekhor.
Feldman again?
No.
I want to talk to you.
Do you have a minute?
Yes.
First of all,
I want you to know I'm here for you.
If you want to talk,
if you need anything. -Thanks.
Second, I want you to know
that I'm very happy
my mom helped you.
She's very good at what she does.
-Yes.
Ever since my first kiss
she has found a way to butt in
in all my relationships.
We don't talk about you,
more about me.
Fine, whatever.
As long as she helped you,
you told me,
now we can deal with it together,
the two of us.
Listen, I'm so happy I have you, I am,
but this can't be solved in one session.
So you're going to keep seeing her?
Now that I found her
I won't give her up.
Then marry her and that's it.
-She's taken.
I don't get you,
there are tons of great therapists.
You really don't get me, huh?
You know how hard it was for me
to open up to someone?
How hard it was to find
someone who listens to me?
Sure, I can't...
You can't,
then drop this childish Oedipus complex
and maybe you'll understand
what I'm going through.
If you so want to be there for me.
Oedipus?
Where's Bekhor?
At a supplier.
Dad, you're just on time.
I want to read what I wrote
for the gig tonight.
How exciting. Hold on.
Sweet boy, let me sit down.
Yes.
Here goes.
We have rituals for...
the baby in the crib,
the child going to school,
the boy who cuts his nails,
eating sugar before a wedding,
engagement, plucking eyebrows,
but for waxing hair off the back,
we have no ritual...
Yes, and...?
Something else.
When Israelis hear Bukharans speaking,
it always sounds
like someone typing on a keyboard
like this.
Dad, it's killer.
What's funny about it?
It's insulting.
Where's Bekhor?
I told him not leave the albums out.
What are you here for?
Clear everything away from the cash register.
And tidy up the shelves.
-You're right.
I can't write when you're here.
Where are you going?
Hey, sweetie.
"Sweetie" your mother.
Where are you?
I'm in a meeting at the venue
with the couple on the 27th.
What is it?
Your daughter is waiting for you
outside the school.
It's 14:00 already?
It's 15:00, Bekhor.
Take it easy, I'm leaving now.
Take it easy?
Her teacher called me.
What did she want?
That we take the child home...
Alright, tell her not to make a fuss.
I'm on my way.
Yes, the teacher is making a fuss.
Tell me, does your operating system
not have an apology function?
Forget it.
Why am I even surprised?
You think I was never forgotten?
Big deal.
I'm leaving now.
Don't, I'm there already.
Oh, great, good for you.
Then I'll get on with my meeting.
Just a few details to settle
and I'll be right there.
Get on with your meeting,
and don't bother
coming to see the kids
because I won't open the door for you.
Wait, Margo. Margo.
Listen... Margo!
Your mother...
So, where were we?
Wait.
I'm not in the mood.
Would you like some white wine?
When you're Bukharan
you have to start your day
with "Chu kaimuki and "Noni toki."
Not funny.
When you're Bukharan
you have to eat a lot of...
No idea.... please translate the Hebrew text
No, that's not funny.
It's funny.
Lungs in honey, that's funny.
Please.
Mom, what do you want?
Nothing. I'm just cleaning.
But I think,
maybe you should write,
parsley, parsley, that's funny.
-Mom, stop, stop.
I can't concentrate.
Mom, are you finishing up here?
Instead of "thank you..."
Thank you for cleaning your living room
while I'm writing.
Thank you for giving you funny ideas.
You should do Arik Sharon,
Shimon Peretz.
That's funny.
Mom, I want to do something else,
high comedy,
not Hussni, Pussni all the time.
High, high.
You're high, it will be high.
Do Hussni,
Hussni goes with Arik Sharon,
with Shimon Peretz
to the Bukharan cemetery.
That's funny?
That's funny.
No more Hussni.
Then do Hussni goes to a wedding.
-Stop!
I have a gig tonight!
You're stressing me out.
Go away, Mom.
Is it so hard to write
a few funny words?
Go ahead. Sit down.
You want me to...
-Yes.
It's easy, right? Go ahead.
-No problem.
Be my guest.
Does this have Bukharan letters?
No, Mom, no Bukharan letters.
Okay, then you write.
Do Shamir,
Shamir on your knees.
You do it so funny.
People...
It's funny.
Bekhor.
Rabbi, can I put this up here?
Let's see what's underneath.
That was last week.
-Okay.
Fine. What is this?
You know I photograph events and...
-Yes.
Lately the events are so boring.
-Yes.
And Hai finished his acting class
and he's so funny
so he makes people happy.
He looks serious here.
That's what's funny,
that he looks serious.
And you're smiling.
-Yes.
I see your teeth.
-Yes,
so we're doing two for one,
laughing and taking pictures.
Laughing and taking pictures.
-Yes.
So it's okay?
-Sure.
Laughing and taking pictures
and praying too?
Complete a quorum for me.
Come. -Now?
-Yes, just a few minutes.
How long will it take?
-Come.
Come in, we have a quorum.
Do you have a kippah?
-Yes. Come.
I hear a lot of anger in your voice.
It's more sadness.
Why are you sad?
Because I'm angry.
I think it's too late.
I think this ruined my relationship with Guy
and it can't be fixed.
Does Guy feel the same way?
-Let's not talk about him,
he hates the fact that I'm coming here.
I see.
It's like I let him down or something.
It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What do you mean?
Look,
your formative experience
is one where you're rejected
after sexual relations,
you fear this will always be the case,
that it will be the same with Guy.
I know that Guy loves me,
but I can't convince myself
that with him it will be different.
You must understand that
the voice that's telling you you're unworthy
is not really your voice.
It's the voice of that man at the club
and only you, Mali,
can shut him up.
Now, listen,
I want us to do a little exercise.
Take that cushion
that's in your hand,
put it on your lap,
clench your fists
and punch it hard and scream.
Shut his mouth.
Okay.
Again?
Harder, harder.
Yes. Scream.
Nice.
Hard.
Nice. And scream.
Scream what?
"You're not the boss of me."
You're not the boss of me.
-That's it. Louder.
Didn't you eat breakfast this morning?
You're not the boss of me.
-Nice. Harder.
Harder.
-You won't control me.
You won't control me... Go.
That's it. Yes.
Bekhor, open this book at random,
on any page you want.
Just open it?
Just open it.
Praise God.
Look where you opened it.
Chapter 81.
Did I tell you to open it here?
-No, no.
I see what the problem is,
but first you tell me.
What can I say, Rabbi?
She got this crazy idea in her head.
-Yes.
She wants to sing at clubs, discos,
she's out with producers,
in high heels, cleavage.
A married woman.
It's not right.
Did you try talking to her?
She won't listen,
she won't talk.
She sent me back to my mom,
she won't let me see the kids.
She's out at night, it's embarrassing.
Everyone can see her.
I see. That's her.
What about you?
Why is she so angry?
I made a mistake with some woman.
A long time ago. One time.
I apologized.
Nothing.
You have trust issues.
You don't trust her,
she doesn't trust you.
It's like horses that ran away
from the stable.
They run and run and run.
How will you bring them home?
You'll yell? -Yes.
They won't come back.
You'll run after them?
-Yes.
They'll run faster.
What did Rabbi Maimon do?
-What?
He got on his horse,
galloped, galloped, galloped
to catch up with the herd.
He got there.
At first he was last.
He kept galloping
and got to the middle of the herd,
he kept galloping to be in the lead.
He got to the lead,
slowly turned left
and all the horses followed.
Then he turned left again
and all the horses followed.
He got them to make a U-turn
until they returned to the stable.
You see?
At first he was one of them,
he gained their trust
then gradually brought them back.
First regain her trust,
then mold her as you will,
she will stray no more.
I'm sorry, Rabbi, I zoned out,
can you repeat what you said?
Just as God is testing you,
so is she.
You must show her
you have serious intentions,
that you're willing to change for her.
But what about her change, Rabbi?
She wants clubs, CDs,
songs, producers.
One step at a time.
First regain her trust
then mold her as you will.
All that just by opening the book?
-Yes.
But I know about women too.
Yours truly is married a third time.
So many horses ran away from the stable...
Horses, mares and asses.
You've been running a lot lately.
Praise God.
-Praise be He.
I wouldn't be exaggerating...
Take pictures from over there, Bekhor.
I wouldn't be exaggerating
if I said that our Bukharans
love to exaggerate.
We grew up on your stories in Uzbekistan.
What was it like in Bukhara?
What was it like in Shahrisabz?
I had a big house.
No beginning and no end.
Isn't that exaggerating?
Exaggerating? That's how it was.
Where are you from?
-Shahrisabz.
And what kind of house did you have?
There, I told you.
Hey, stop making fun of me.
I'm not.
Forget Shahrisabz.
Samarkand.
Is Samarkand better?
After all your stories
I was sure that Samarkand is made of gold.
What do you have against Samarkand?
Nothing, I'm just saying,
the Bukharans exaggerate.
I mean...
Samarkand is all gold?
You know, maybe in some teeth, but not...
Maybe your Bukharans
from your Bukhara exaggerated.
Okay, let's talk about this country.
Is this place any better?
My mother used to say...
I'm Apa Hussni from Tel Kabir.
My kids took me to a wedding,
a 3 hour drive.
I got hungry.
Luckily I had a piece of fish in my pocket
from my grandfather's memorial service.
I took it out and ate it.
Excuse me, kids, can you leave?
Hai has an important meeting
with his lawyer.
It's alright,
I fired my lawyer.
This lawyer doesn't give up.
She's a pain.
Those crackheads.
What do you have against Samarkand?
That was good compared
to the imitation of the grandmother...
My aunt and uncle loved you.
At least someone loves me.
It was fine, Hai.
Yup, fine.
The critique that's every actor's dream.
It's okay,
you can tell me the truth.
It started out embarrassing
and didn't get any better.
It wasn't bad, it was...
What? Tell me.
Low.
Low.
I didn't notice
that now that you're a lawyer
imitations of old ladies are beneath you.
That's not what I said.
I think you started out good,
then you reverted to the kerchief.
That's all.
When I perform at the Bar Association
I won't do the second bit,
I'll only do the first bit.
And if you don't mind,
I have another gig in Samarkand
and you probably have to get
to a clothes store.
Look, it's Hai.
Let's get a selfie.
-Sure thing.
Cool.
Awesome.
-Sure thing.
Kids, kids, go over there.
Thank you.
How are you?
-Hai, buddy,
the show was amazing.
Thank you very much.
-Way to go.
It was a bit short, but amazing.
Now give us a little something extra.
No, pal, that's it, I'm done.
"I'm done?"
Second sitting is in 40 minutes.
A little something.
-Friend,
that was my second show today
and I have another one after this.
Enough.
Your second. Fine.
Alright.
Pal, this is 500,
we said 1.000.
We said 30 minutes.
That wasn't 30 minutes, brother.
Bro, I went on at 18:00
and now it's...
18:27.
You see?
That's not 30 minutes.
Half a show, half the money.
For three minutes less?
-A promise is a promise.
Go on, give us another three minutes
and I'll pay you your money.
I don't need your money, dear brother.
You're a cheapskate, a sponger.
I don't need your money.
Margo.
Kids, to bed now.
Bekhor, I told you not to come.
Now you woke them up.
Fine, I'm going.
I went shopping.
I brought stuff for the house.
Tomato puree, eggs,
the smoked cheese that you like,
that garlic-dill that gives you
that smell that I like,
your sugared pecans.
The chocolate bar that you love
and gummy bears for the kids.
In any case, I'm leaving it all here.
You can take it to your mother.
What? Go back inside!
Margo.
Margo.
Margo, please,
cut the nonsense.
Mommy, just for a little while.
We'll do homework all week.
Kiss the kids for me.
Tell them Daddy loves them.
For the kids.
My sweeties, I missed you.
I missed you so much.
Daddy loves you.
Look what I got you.
I got you a horse. A horse.
Look what I got you.
-You have 10 minutes.
Wow! I love it.
What's this? Halloween?
Is Esti home?
-In her room.
What do you want?
-I...
May I?
Esti, dear, your artiste is here.
Just a heads up,
so she doesn't get scared by your face.
Go in, lady.
You're so annoying.
Me?
You're stupid,
acting like a moron.
So you have to pay me back?
Aren't you the adult here?
That's why I went to that gig, idiot.
You think I wanted to go
to my cousin's husband's thing?
How do you do it? How?
What?
You always know how I feel
before I know myself.
I have this sixth sense.
I see dead people.
I'm sorry I went off on you.
Which time?
Now? Then?
You see how low I go
when I'm not with you?
You deserve it.
When I saw you in the audience
you had this expression
that brought up everything I feel.
What expression?
That one.
I didn't become an actor for this,
to suffer,
to have no control of my life
and the thing is I don't care
when I'm not with you,
when I don't see you.
If there's one thing I'm sure of,
it's you
and that's where it should all begin.
So I may not be a lawyer,
though I could do very well like this,
but I won't be Hussni my whole life.
You idiot.
You really think
I want a lawyer?
Do Hussni all day long,
just don't lie to me ever again.
Got it?
I'm sorry.
I love you.
They're asleep.
Thank you.
-Good night. -Good night.
There's stuff in there
that has to be in the fridge.
Your garlic-dill.
Thank you.
Damn.
I am timeless.
What's this?
Wow, it's amazing.
Esti, not now,
it's for the engagement.
Wow, it's insane.
Thank you.