Westside (2015–…): Season 5, Episode 2 - Westside - full transcript

(SIREN CHIRPS)

What's in the bag'?
Nothing of any importance to you.

There is no robbery. You were found with the
tools to commit the crime in your possession.

I'm a locksmith.

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

Oh, God, this is way more
intense than the twins.

Funny old world - your wife and your ex
having babies, pretty much on the same day

One of whom has
nothing to do with me.

If you wanna rob the place,
go for your life.

You think this is wise, inviting the woman
at the job to our after-job function?

Yeah, and giving her the address
of our secret hideout.



Who are these little pricks
stealing from me'?

Come on. Someone must know
who they are.

The fuck are you doing here'?
Nice to see you too, love.

You know what I mean. It's against
the code. I know the code, Ted.

Do you think I'd be here
if it wasn't important?

What's happened? It's our home. It's
overrun, and... I'm not handling it.

(BABY CRIES, CHILDREN YELL)

Where's that wooden spoon? Ya broke
it on Van's arse this morning

Well, we need another one.

I need a wee-wee. I need a wee-wee. I said no,
Van- Jethro- whichever you are. Just hold on.

Or, even better, go outside.

(LIQUID SPLASHES)

The princess sleeps better
when she's rocked in her pram,

and there's not enough room in our room.
It's cool if we swap for a bit?



No. It's not fuckin' cool.
I hope you told him that.

I didn't want to wake the
godforsaken child. The lungs on it.

If he wants to keep knocking Slutty Pants
up, he can do it in his own damn bedroom.

Please no No more. She needs to get her
tubes tied. So, where did you sleep?

The bloody cheek of it.
Who do they think they are'?

Well, in your absence, Wolf thinks
he's the man of the house.

Well, you tell them to have some respect, and
if they don't like it, they can fuck right off.

I'll bloody tell them myself,

when I get the fuck out of here.

It won't be long now.

If the Porky Pigs think that after everything
I've done, all of my achievements,

I'm gonna be taken out by a
bag of tools, they can think again.

See you when I see you, Ted.
Won't be long now, love.

The real man of the house will
be back before you know it.

Uh, any chance of a hand
shandy before you go? (SCOFFS)

No, thought not.
(CHUCKLES)

(ROCK MUSIC)

(shouts)

Hey, why is Phineas
parked down there'?

Eh?

Parked car, dark glasses,
trying not to look conspicuous.

Hey, Rita. Fancy seeing you here.

What are you doing, Phineas?

Oh, just, uh-

just passing. If you were just passing,
your car would actually be moving.

Yeah.
So not passing - spying.

No, I'm waiting. Well, if you're waiting
for Carol, you'll be waiting a while,

because she's in Club Med
with Brian and the kids.

Carol's in Club Med?
Yeah, so, you know, move along.

Well, it's not actually Carol I'm
waiting for. It's Wolf. Why?

Which Club Med?
Eh?

Carol and I always talked about
going there - that or a cruise ship.

Why are you waiting for Wolf'?

I need to tell him something.

It's my boss. Wolf and them
have pissed him off.

Who are you working for'?

I can't say.

Well, how's Wolf supposed to know
who he's pissed off, then'?

Just- Just tell him to
find a different patch.

Patch of what?
Just tell him for his own good.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Phineas. He'll
be back later. Tell him yourself.

Rita.
What'?

Ya backside.

What?

You've got something on it.

Vroom, vroom. I want that.

Do ya have to do that in here'?

What?

Showing your tit to all and sundry?
It's disgusting.

I haven't shown my tit
to all and sundry

since I downed a hip flask of Southern
Comfort at Mandy's 13th birthday party.

Where's Wolf'?
Gang meeting.

Is that so'?

Hey, someone's gotta
bring home the bacon, right'?

(PUNK MUSIC, CHILDREN SCREAM)

ls Wolf here'?

Huh?
ls Wolf here?!

Sorry? Wanna see some pictures
of my nephew, Brandon?

Eh?
My nephew, Brandon.

Turn this bloody music down.
Sorry, Mrs Rita, I can't hear-

(SEX SOUNDS FROM NEIGHBOURING ROOM)

Oh, good God.

Is that...? It's Eric.
And his lady friend.

WOMAN: Yeah, fuck me! Fuck me hard!
ERIC: Oh, yeah! Yeah!

Lady, you say?

Jesus Christ. ls Wolf here or not?

You just missed him.
Wonderful.

(SEX SOUNDS CONTINUE LOUDLY) This is the disadvantage
of living in a house with no real walls.

ERIC: Oh, oh.

Sounds like he's finished. Eric!
What'?

Mrs Rita's visiting.
Oh, right, yeah. OK, yes.

This one's Brandon having dinner.

Hey.

Uh, Rita, this is Krystle.
Krystle, Rita Hi.

Make yourself scarce, love.
I need to chat with these boys.

Yeah. Off you go. Off you go,
Krystle. See you later.

(EXHALES)

Well, you just missed Wolfie. He was here,
but his ball-and-chain phoned, and-

Who have you boys pissed off'?

Is it you?
No, not me - yet.

But Phineas was around, going on
about some person he's working for.

Just think. ls there any job,
anything you've done lately...

We don't know.

Don't know'? Or don't wanna tell me'?

We don't wanna tell you. Yeah. Wolf
might kick us in the nuts if we do.

I'm his bloody mother.

Ted and I taught him
everything he knows.

Even so, we'll let Wolf decide
if he wants to tell you or not.

(CHILDREN SQUEAL)

Ugh, sorry about the change of venue.
Bloody Cheryl forgot she had to go out.

(GRUNTS) She can't take the twins out as
well as Pascalle. Yeah, whatever. It's cool

Let's talk about this
Avondale job, then.

So... here's the street.
Now, it's a dead end,

but this factory opposite does shift work,
so there's a lot of blokes coming and going.

Uh-huh. Luckily, there's a way to get
in from the neighbouring warehouse,

which we access from the main road. Jump the
fence - it's just a wire thing - and then-

Hold on.

There a problem? Yeah, it's the bloody kids.
They've gone quiet, and that's never good.

Oi, you two. What are you doing'?
We're hiding.

Just don't bloody touch anything.

They're in Mum and Dad's room.
Great. So-

(CROCKERY BREAKS,
CHILDREN SCREAM AND CRY)

I said don't bloody touch anything.
Who did this?

(CHILDREN SHOUT) Stop fuckin'
around or you'll both get a hiding.

Sorry. Where's ya missus?
Isn't this her job?

I told you, she had to
take the baby to Plunket.

Look, it's not easy having kids. This
stuff is a piece of piss in comparison.

Yeah, well, this isn't
exactly working for me.

Fair enough. We should try
when Cheryl gets back.

Pub?
Only if you want the job.

(CHILDREN SCREAM)

Afternoon, ladies.

Thanks for coming.
Oh, it's a pleasure, as always.

Any word on when Ted goes to court? No,
they're just screwing with us now.

Yeah, it doesn't even make sense, eh? It wasn't
even a crime. We didn't even get nothing.

Doesn't matter to your
bitch of an ex.

Thank goodness those days
are behind us, I say.

Lefty and me. Oh, we're moving on.
The stock market's where it's at.

As if you know anything
about the stock market.

And yet here I am,
living the high life.

The 'high life', flogging
second-hand goods?

Oh, no, I don't do this for the
money. It's the pleasant company.

Anyway, I need you
to pay Phineas a visit.

Well, how come? He was hanging around
outside my house this morning.

Stalking Carol.
Spying on Carol.

No, not this time. Talking nonsense
about Wolf and the boys.

Yeah? Apparently he's got some kinda
new job he's working for someone.

Yeah, I heard.
Do you know who he's working for'?

Well, he's pretty secretive about
his new life What new life?

Well, I don't know, do I'?
Because of all the secretiveness.

Well, then, you need to go around there
and find out this bloody secret.

If Wolf's in trouble,
I need to know about it. Got it'?

Yep. Got it.

(BABY CRIES)

Thanks a lot. See you next time.

Anne-Marie, hi.

Oh. Hi, Cheryl.

How's it going?

Doing the right things, apparently.

Oh, he's really cute. But then I already knew
that Sparky's got, like, a million photos

Yeah, I've tried to stop him.

How's your little girl? Pretty
amazing compared to the twins.

God, it must be so easy
just having one, you know'?

Uh, not that I'm saying it's a breeze
or anything. I just meant compared-

Twins. Yeah, I know.

I think Wolf's wanted to
leg it a times. (LAUGHS)

You'd better get in there, eh'?

We should have a drink or
something, compare notes.

Yeah. That'd be wicked.

See ya. ( HERBS' 'SENSITIVE
TO A SMILE' PLAYS)

Here, mate.
Cheers.

So, you heard about Carol? Nah.
That bastard took her to Club Med.

Wow. Fuckin' prick.

I feel like going around there and
kicking his arse inside out.

I would, too, if he wasn't the
second-deadliest man in West Auckland.

Oh, that's not why you're hanging
outside Rita's and Ted's, is it'?

Don't do that any more. That's good, mate.
That's good. Yeah.

I've turned my life around.

And this job you were talking about.
Yeah. Well, who's that for again?

All I can say is
I'm working for The Man.

What, the fucking cops? Nah, the cops
ain't The Man Yes, they are, mate.

Come on. You know, the government.
The government's The Man'?

Yeah, that's what you say when you're working for
the government. You say, 'I'm working for The Man.'

Well, you wouldn't say that in
England, cos of Maggie Thatcher.

Yeah, listen, mate. Rita's all in a tizz
and she wants to know what's going on.

Wolf and them robbed my boss.

The Man'?
Yeah.

So he sent you to
deliver a message? Nah.

He doesn't know it was Wolf and them. I delivered
the message myself because Ted's my mate.

Right-

So, this man - he's a hard man'?
Real hard.

So why are you working for him?

Pays me good coin.

Saving it all.

I'm gonna buy Carol back.

Fuck Club Med.

I'll take her to Disneyland.

(BABY CRIES)

Great, you're here.
I'm late for a meeting.

No, thank you. I'm having a gin
and a fag. Where's your wife?

She's in the shower,

since princess here spewed up her whole
feed all over her. Cheryl was soaked

And my carpet? Come on, Mum.
I've gotta get to this meeting.

With who? Since when does it matter?
I like to know what you're up to.

Electronics, warehouses. Good money. Since
when does it matter? What warehouses?

We've got a guy we're stealing an
order for. He gets us in. A guy?

Allen Markham.

The paperboy'?

Used to deliver the Western Leader'?
He's got some great leads.

OK. So what does Phineas have to
do with it? Phineas? No idea.

Hey, Rita. Sorry, but the boys have
scribbled all over the wallpaper and the-

What? Sorry, I've got to get to this
meeting. You guys are good, yeah?

Wolf, no--

(CHILD SHOUTS)

There's Blondie over there,
checking me out.

Think she is.
Did Wolf say he was gonna belong?

Oh, I told you this hairdo
was a spunk magnet.

Business at the front,
party at the back.

It's not the hairdo. It's because you
have a girlfriend now. What girlfriend?

Krystle. No, she's not a girlfriend.
She's just a notch in the old bedpost.

So, in other words, a girlfriend. So you no
longer exude sleaziness and desperation.

Should I invite her over? We're having a
meeting. MOUTHS: We're having a meeting.

Thank you, love.

Oh, it's an epidemic of Eric.
Wolf.

About time. Yeah, sorry. Let's
get on with this thing.

Warehouse, Avondale.
You're gonna need a truck.

I like the sound of this already.

Phineas is pretty secretive, but
he's working for someone important.

Right. And he did let on his boss
is a real piece of work, so...

Wolf needs to find someone else
to fuck with, is my call.

(CHILDREN SHOUT DISTANTLY)

Nothing's the same as it was, eh'?

That's life, Bert.

It's gonna be the year 2000 soon.

In, like, 13 years.

Yeah, but still.

Phin was gutted to hear about Ted being
inside. Nothing we're not used to.

Yeah, but, I dunno, at our age-
Jesus.

We're not over the fuckin' hill just yet,
Bert. Ted's probably enjoying the holiday.

It's a damn sight more peaceful
than around here. Yeah. True.

(CHILDREN, CHERYL YELL DISTANTLY)

Oh, I guess I better
get going then, eh.

(CHERYL SHOUTS)
Bye, Rita.

(CHILD SCREAMS)

Back to bed. Last time.

(LAUGHS, SQUEALS)

Just shut the bloody door.

Just like picking up that baby every time she
makes a noise. You're meant to leave them to cry.

She's a little girl.
She doesn't get left to cry.

Well, you're making a
rod for your own back.

Mm, I saw Sparky's sister
at Plunket today.

Mm. How is the lovely Anne-Marie'?
She's OK.

I said we should get
together sometime. Cool.

The meeting was pretty good today.

The meeting with the paperboy.

Allen's leads are primo. I'm not
just wasting my time with shit jobs.

All right, just as long as you're
remembering- Oh, the Family West Code?

MOCKINGLY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No stealing on a full moon.

(MOANS SPOOKILY)

Because of the moonlight. You know, some of our rules
are there for practical reasons, you little shit.

Oh, for fuck's sake, Slutty Pants, put
your tit away at the dinner table.

You think I can stomach my
corned beef with that in my face'?

(LIGHT CHUCKLING)

Fuck's sake.

Another fun night at Chez West'?

Put a sock in it, Ngaire.

You know what you need'?
My husband off remand'?

You need to let your hair down. Come out with
me and Lefty We'll go to VBG or Metropole.

I dunno where you're talking about.
Parnell, and then into town - Club 21?

What's wrong with somewhere local?
We'll drink champagne,

and we'll say screw you to the young people
and their babies Thanks, but no thanks

I can say screw you to
the young people at home.

Well, if you change your mind.

Cos your frown lines are
getting very pronounced.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS)

Who's your friend? His name's Tubby
Bear It's for his nephew, Brandon

Yeah. Wanna see a picture?
I've had more developed.

No thanks. I got children of my own.
I don't wanna see any pictures.

Now can we get on with this meeting?
Yep. Love, come run along. Why?

We've got business.
You can talk with Eric later.

Yeah. Off you go. Go on.
Off you go, Krystle.

((SIGHS))

OK. This is about sourcing the equipment before the
job. Allen's given rne a list of what we need.

You know, I'm a bit sick of Krystle.
Yeah, I'm gonna tell her it's off.

Oh, thank the good Lord for that. Don't
you like her, Falani? She is very vocal.

Yeah, she goes off like a rocket, eh?
Can we get on with this shit?

I've just gotta play the field, you know?
You don't go to the smorgasbord

and just get the glazed ham, do you, you
know? You take a little bit of everything.

The equipment. For the fuckin' job'?

Oh, hi. Back again?

I was still putting on my shoes.

Oh.

Are you sick of me'?

Oh, look, darling, it's not you. It's me,
and all of the other women in the world.

You're cheating on me'?
No, no, not yet. No, there's- Look,

there's just a lot of women out there who want
me, and I'm just- I'm not a man who says no.

(SOBS)

So, yeah. Yep, that's that, then.

What? If it's any consolation, you
can do much better than Eric.

Don't hit on my ex-girlfriend, Sparky.
I fucking hate your guts, Eric.

(SNIGGERS) Sorry, doll.

Lion's gotta roar.

(SOBS)

Finally. Amazing.

Yes, amazing. A woman cried over Eric.
Well, what can I say, boys?

I'm a gift to the
women of the world.

(FUNKY MUSIC)

(DOOR SHUTS)
Dad.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

What for, sweet pea? I should have
fought them harder - the robbers.

You've got nothing to be regretful about,
Krystle. There was a whole gang of them.

It's just that I can't
stop thinking about it.

Do you want to see the doctor again?
No. No.

But I have remembered a few things
about the whole nightmare.

What kind of things?

One of them was called Eric.
You sure'?

Yep. That one. They called him Eric, and
the boss one - they called him Wolf West.

And you didn't remember
any of this until now'?

I was in shock. lt just started
coming back, like I said.

Anything else coming back
to you, sweetheart'?

They also mentioned that they lived in
a converted warehouse in Henderson.

And they said all of this
in from of you'?

I think they thought I was stupid. They were all like,
'Yay, now we'll go back to our warehouse to party'.

I mean, they even mentioned the address because
one of them had forgotten it or something.

I'm just really sorry that I didn't remember
any of this sooner. Oh, it's OK, sweetheart.

It'll all be OK. Eh'?
Now, we'll take it from here.

Thanks, Dad.

This is starting to get ridiculous, Minty -
him sitting on remand. Just do your job.

(DOOR SHUTS) Ted West does not do time
for carrying a bloody bag of tools.

It'll be thrown outta court

(SIGHS) Yeah, I know.
It's just a pain in the arse.

Can someone help me wind her?
I'm useless.

Has she had some gripe water?
Uh...

Leave her with me. Take those boys
and have a run around the park, eh'?

Why? Cos their eyes will go
square watching IV all day.

I think what Cheryl means is
why are you offering to babysit?

I'm a grandmother. Isn't that what
grandmothers are supposed to do'?

Supposed to, yeah.
And I could do with a distraction,

but if you don't wanna go, then fine.
Jethro, Van, come on.

Uh, once she's burped, she'll fall asleep on
your shoulder and you can just put her down.

Yeah, we'll be fine.

Won't we, Pascalle?

Oi, Van, don't eat the litter.

That's Jethro. I think Van's gonna be
the smart one They'll both be smart

They all will. I swear Pascalle
is smiling already.

She doesn't need to be smart. She's
going to be gorgeous. Sexist.

So, we should probably think about
moving out of your olds' place.

How come'?

Cos it's your olds' place.

It's working out all right, isn't it?
It's crowded.

And as much as she's trying to play
Granny right now, Rita hates it.

Plus, Ted will be off remand really soon.
Yeah,I suppose.

You've got a good thing going with Allen
Markham now, so. Yeah, it's a good earner,

but if we move out we're not going to have
a live-in babysitter, so think about that.

(BABY WAILS)

(CHILDREN SQUEAL)

What the fuck'?

Can you not hear that? You put them down
awake, let them cry themselves to sleep.

It's what you're meant
to do with babies.

You two are spoiling that child.

Mum, she's not even a month old.
You start as you mean to continue,

but if you don't want to
listen to my advice, fine.

And why should we'? Because
you're Mother of the Year'?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(SCOFFS) You know what?

I fuckin' tried.

Do what the hell you want.
It's your family.

Look, I'd invite you in, but I've, uh, got
someone staying. I don't need to come in

You need to come out with me.

Ngaire invited me out with her and Lefty.
Absolutely not. No.

God, these new friends -
horrible yuppies.

I know. That's why I want you to come -
so I have someone to sneer at them with.

Oh.
Bilkey, my husband is in the clink.

And what's the rule when someone's
husband is in the clink?

The other wives provide free meals?

The other rule Yeah, all right, all right.
Your boyfriend can come too,

if he wants. Nah. He can
fend for himself for a bit.

And he's not my boyfriend.
Go on. Make yourself pretty.

I wanted you to take another look.

Sorry, boss. Still a mystery to me.

You sure, Phineas? Cos we got given a
name, and Bianca did a little digging.

(INHALES SHARPLY) And you know how small West
Auckland is - everyone knows everyone else.

Like how maybe you know a guy
by the name of Ted West.

Yeah. He was a friend of mine.

Good friend, according to Bianca.

You were tight for years.

Yep. We were.

So how is it that you can't recognise that
this little fuckhead right here is Ted's son,

Wolfgang West'?

Is it?

Well, I haven't seen the Wests for ages,
so, I dunno, yeah, it might be him.

Might not. Kids grow so fast, eh'?

Oh, it's him. Wow. Bianca's real good
at finding stuff out, isn't she?

Oh, that she is.

You know, Phineas, I admire loyalty.

Loyalty is a valuable trait.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

If you're being loyal to me -

the guy that's paying Ya-

Like I said, Mr Figgs, I don't run with Ted West
any more. I haven't seen those kids for years.

Well, this is what
they look like now.

So I'd like you to pay
your former pal a visit

and let him know that Frankie Figgs is
not to be fucked with, on any level.

Feels a bit off, going around
and roughing up Wolf.

I've known him since he was in nappies.
I'm referring to West Sr.

Oh, well, that won't be easy. He's in Mt Eden
now. By the time I get on a visitors' list-

Well, I need to deliver
the message to someone.

I could talk to Rita.

Wolf's mum.

Thank you.

And don't worry about Wolfgang West and
his mates. They're being taken care of.

(EXHALES) Ah. Hi there.

What can I do for you, pretty lady?

(MOANS)

Hello.

Nice place.

Thank you'?

Fuck it up, boys.

Wait, wait, whatever you think
it is, you got the wrong people.

Your name is Eric Grady.

Nope.
You took my sister hostage.

I would never do such a thing You
tied her up You're Krystle's sister

(TENSE MUSIC)

How do you know her name'?

Please, please don't hurt Tubby
Bear. He's a present for my nephew.

Then tell me how you know
my sister's name.

Look, I don't know what she told you, but the
way that I see it is- is- is, that, you know,

we- we had our fun but, uh,
time to move on. No harm, no foul.

Ew! God. Did you screw her'?

No.

Oh, fu--! (MOANS)

(WHIMPERS)

Look, I don't actually give a shit about Krystle
being dumped by the latest loser she's found,

but my family gets real pissed off
when those losers steal from us.

No, please don't. We were
just doing as we were told.

And do you have a name for
the person it was that told you'?

(INTENSE MUSIC)

Do your worst. We will never tell. Yeah, and
those plates were stolen anyway, so fuck you!

On! Fuck! (GROANS)

You gotta be into win,
and anyone who isn't is a mug.

I got one word for you, Bilkey - Brierley. Get
your hands on some of that and you'll be right.

Thanks for the tip, Lefty. Well, 150,000
punters can't be wrong, can they?

Do you know what a
corporate raider is'?

These big investment companies,
they eat up the piddly little ones -

eat 'em up and piss money all over
their investors, don't they, darling?

Apparently so.

In 1987, you're either the lion who's doing
the devouring, or you're the bloody, uh...

Oh, what do lions devour, honey'?
Antelopes?

Don't be that antelope, Rita My money is just
fine where it is In a biscuit box under the bed?

(LAUGHTER)

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

(EXHALES)

What? (GRUNTS)
FALANI: Sorry to wake you, Wolf.

Do you have any idea how hard it is
to get any sleep right now'?

I'm aware, yes, but we have a
small problem. It's not small

Um, a medium-sized problem.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

She punched me repeatedly Do you know
what they did to Brandon's bear?

Punched, Wolf, in the face.
They held him hostage.

And she said it was her place we did
last week? And the sister that Eric did.

None of this is my fault I'm
the victim So, fuck 'em

They've said their piece and now they can fuck
off'. We'll just carry on, business as usual.

Business as usual?

With Allen?
Yeah. Why not'?

What?

The scary sister - she wanted names.

And?

She was holding Tubby Bear in
one hand and a knife in the other.

Fuck's sake, Sparky,
you gave up Allen Markham?

He's the best present I've ever got Brandon.
That means a lot to rne. So you narked?

We don't fuckin' nark.

('SOS ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)

Excuse us.

Subtle, aren't they'?

You had enough of this shit yet'?
Hours ago.

There was heaps in there.
Oh, shit. It's tipped out.

(SCOFFS) um.

What are you doing there, darling'?

I'm so glad I left the house for that.
Serves us right for being antelope.

Nightcap at yours to make it worthwhile?
Uh, doesn't really suit.

Oh, of course.
Your mysterious house guest.

Oh. He's not mysterious, as such.

In the closet, is he'?

I know. He's married.

I No. He's famous. I.

Oh. Married and famous.

Tell me he's an All Black.

Let's have that nightcap
back at your place, eh'?

Oh, with the sleeping baby
and children and arseholes.

It's still your house, Rita.

(PEKING MAN'S
'ROOM THAT ECHOES' BLARES)

Whiskey for you, my friend.
Thank you.

(RITA LAUGHS, MUSIC BLARES)
RITA: Those fuckin' Parnell wankers.

# You touch upon the things
that I feel. (LAUGHS)

# Every movement I make
tells a secret. #

(LAUGHTER)

They're gone.

How bloody rude.

Do we give a shit, love'?

We could just go home and make love. I
don't want to make love, Lefty. Oh.

I want to fuck.

(GIGGLES)

Oh. Ooo. Oof.

Security!
(LAUGHS)

What's wrong with you, Bilkey? You can't
hold your piss any more? (LAUGHS)

Oh, I've kinda had to keep
a clear head recently.

Although, dammit, falling into a large
glass of vodka's something I'm...

Uh-oh.

We've got company.

(GRUNTS) Oh, for fuck's sake.

Go back to bed, Van. Jethro. Whichever
you are. Go on. Off you go.

Do you know what time it is'?
(DOOR SHUTS)

Thank you.

(BABY CRIES)
Oh, that's just wicked.

What the fuck, Mum'?
What the fuck yourself.

This is my house, and if you and Slutty Pants
want to stay here, you are perfectly welcome,

but you adjust to my way of life,
and not the other way around.

Whatever. I'm too tired.

Uh, Wolf.

You're forgetting something.

(LAUGHS)

(SQUEALS, GROWLS)

Bravo, Rita. Bravo.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

((SIGHS))

I You have a party?

Just a quiet drink with Bilkey.

Keeping you company
while Ted's inside'?

Yep. That's right.

Well, I, uh, won't hold you up. Just here
to deliver a quick message from my boss,

which is just, 'Can the Wests cease and
desist all activities in the area.'

I'll catch you later, eh'?
Ha-Hang on, Phineas. One question.

What the fuck are you talking about'?

I'm really sorry, OK'?

But my boss is powerful He's got people everywhere.
And Wolf and them have pissed him off,

and that pissed-off-ness has
spread to the whole West family.

Right.

Well.

Thanks for passing that on.

I wish I could say that I cared.

Well, you should care.

You should care, Rita.
He doesn't fuck around.

Are you actually threatening me'?

No. I-I'm warning you.

(SIGHS) But I'm warning you
as an old friend.

Right.

Well, you've passed on
your boss' message.

Yeah. So now you can you
can give one back to him.

You tell him, whoever he is,
to fuck right off.

I am not scared of some wanker
who can't even show his face.

If he's got a problem with me,
he can tell me in person.

(ALARM BEEPS)

(ALARM STOPS)

(GROANS)

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

(RINGING CONTINUES)

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Jesus. Yeah. Just got back
from the emergency department.

Shit.

I'm so sorry, Allen. Fuckin' Sparky.
It doesn't matter.

It does matter, because that's not how we do
things. I'm out, Wolf. I'm outta the game.

But the Avondale job.
It's Off.

Come on.
Nah.

It was made very clear to rne last night
that the arrangements I had made -

they are now a thing of the past.

So I'm going straight.

Gonna make an honest living.
Going into used cars.

Come on, Allen. Grow some fuckin' balls.
Sorry, Wolf.

And I'd like to say it was nice working with you,
but it really fuckin' wasn't, as it turned out

WHISPERS: Fuck.

(BELL RINGS, DOOR OPENS)

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

It's Rita West, isn't it'?

And you are'?

Frank Figgs - Frankie, my friends
and associates call me.

I'm hereto apologise, actually.

(SNIFFS)

It was unbecoming of me to send
an employee to talk to you.

Phineas.

And as you correctly pointed out to him, if I've
got something to say, I should say it myself,

businessperson to businessperson.

If you say so, although I'm still a bit confused
as to what exactly there is to say to each other.

I like to think of myself
and my family...

as the future...

of West Auckland.

We live in paradise out here.

We got beaches. We got vineyards.
Got native bush.

Got land - lots of land,
just waiting to be developed.

Got flash houses, office blocks,
restaurants and parks.

But right at the moment,

West Auckland has a
certain reputation.

It's considered, um,

well, rough.

It's not a bad thing.

Keeps the wankers and yuppies away.

The wankers and the yuppies
with money, you mean'?

(INHALES SHARPLY) Shouldn't be
afraid of change, Mrs West.

I'm not actually afraid
of anything, Mr Figgs.

Well, maybe you should be, cos part of
my mission is to clean up West Auckland

Mm. That's great.

You can start with the Georgie Pie wrappers
all over the footpath outside my shop.

Get rid of the unsavoury elements. You know, the
criminal scum ruining it for everybody else.

All right, Frankie Fuckface, you've said
your piece. Now get the fuck out of my shop.

Or you could get the fuck
out of West Auckland.

(SCOFFS) Out of my neighbourhood'?

Out of my home'? Who the fuck
do you think you are'?

Your neighbourhood
is changing, Mrs West.

And you and your, um, wider family will be better off'
finding somewhere more suited to your way of life

Try South Auckland.

It's a polite suggestion, Mrs West.

Well, you can take your polite suggestion
and shove it all the way up your arse.

Fair enough. Message received.

I'll get back to you on that.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

(DOOR OPENS)

Evening.

Another fun-filled day with
the kiddiewinks, then'?

I Kids are fine.

The actual kids.

As for those dicks I call friends...

What happened? All my jobs are off. They
gave up Allen Markham and he got done over.

They gave him up? And he got
his fingers broken. By who?

Some woman went around to where the boys
are shacked up. Put the hard word on them.

So they dobbed Allen Markham?

Bloody dicks.

(EXHALES)

If I said you had a beautiful body,
would you hold it against me'?

Is it the bruises?

I was in a fight.

Yeah, I got done over pretty badly-
By a woman.

Shit.

((SIGHS))

I've lost it.

The power of seduction.

Probably cos you dumped Krystle.
What?

Now you're back to being sleazy
and desperate. (GROANS) Bugger.

I've had a phone call from Mrs Rita. We've
been summoned - and not in a good way.

Oh, you're just in time. I was about to tell
Van and Jethro here a little bedtime story.

Oh, good.
Go on. Si! down.

Right. We all comfortable?

Yup.

This is a story that your grandpa used to
tell your daddy when he was a little boy.

The story is called
'The Curse of the Wests'.

Once upon a time, there was a thief - a very
good thief, a boy who was really going places -

and his name was West.

He had many relatives,
including Uncle Luther West.

He was a mean old bastard.
Used to knock women around,

and the young thief hated
Uncle Luther for that.

And because Luther owed him money.
Yeah, and that.

One day, Luther had just finished
a job, the Reef ton Post Office,

and so the young, noble thief expected
that he'd get his money back.

But instead, Uncle Luther
told him to fuck off.

What a meanie.

So you know what our hero did'?
Punched him in the scrote.

That would have been a better idea.

But no.

He dobbed him in to the police.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

And Luther got 10 to 15 years
for that post office job.

And he was wild.

And as he was hauled off to jail,
he put a curse on the dobber,

and on the dobber's children

and great-grandchildren to come. God, she's
gonna scare them. No, they need to hear this.

But he wasn't scared. Who believes
in an old man's curse'?

But then the very next day, bad luck
started to rain down on him...

Rain down on him like shit
from a cracked toilet.

Thank you, Wolf.

What sort of shit
rained down on him'?

His little sister got crushed
by a coal truck.

She survived. She withered from polio. And
the thief's whole entire family was so poor,

they had to eat the
glaze from the plates.

So, the shit didn't rain down on he, himself, but
on his sister? Well, I haven't got a sister, so-

The point is, if you dob...

bad shit happens.

Which is why Wests never dob -

the Wests and their associates.

Because if you do,
retribution will come.

Make no mistake.

You won't know when or how,

but be it to you
or someone you love,

it will come.

What if you didn't know
about the curse'?

(SCOFFS) Doesn't matter.

The inevitable fact of
the equation is, you dob,

you bring on the shitstorm.

And that, boys, is the story of
how the Wests were cursed.

But if you never dob, you won't
have anything to worry about.

We won't, Grandma.

Good boy, Van.

(OMINOUS MUSIC)

What the fuck did you idiots do
to Frankie Figgs' daughter?

And that skinny fuck with the perm
took advantage of her innocence.

My father is in hospital half-dead because
of that man. RITA: We are gonna get revenge.

We are gonna unleash a crime wave the
likes of which they've never seen.

(ROCK MUSIC)

Can I help you boys'?

Got a message for you.
Back the fuck away from my mother.

Doing nothing is not
an option, Cheryl.

We can look after ourselves. And our kids?
Can they look after themselves?