Westside (2015–…): Season 5, Episode 1 - Episode #5.1 - full transcript

Sailing away.

# New Zealand can do it.

# Take it away.

# Sailing away. #

You know, even after hearing it a million
times, it still makes me tingle.

I've never even been on a yacht.

Why are we having this parade'? It's
not like we won the bloody thing.

We came second. Well, third if you
count the boat that came second.

Which we would've beaten if we hadn't
lost to the boat that came third.

(KIDS SQUEAL, LAUGH)

Where's that bloody wooden spoon?



Eh'? Where is it'?
(KIDS LAUGH)

Have you hidden it again, Jethro?

Do I have to buy another
wooden spoon'?

What did I tell you? Get back to
your room now! (KIDS SQUEAL, YELL)

(MOTORBIKE REVS)

(ROCK MUSIC)

(SIGHS) Has the unholy sound stopped?
What sounds?

Bless the Lord for the gift of
silence. It was terrifying.

I don't wanna know, Falani.
Did you get the van'?

Parked around the corner.

Where is everyone'?

Sparky has not been seen for
two days.

I do not wish to think about Eric,
but he is definitely here.

Everyone remembers we have a fuckin'
job today, right'?



Hey, I am your man. I cannot vouch
for the others.

Hey, Wolfie, my brother!

Not your brother, don't call me
Wolfie, and why aren't you ready?

Sorry, my leader, but affairs of
the flesh intervened.

More like the affairs of Satan.

Oh! (CHUCKLES) Hi, I'm Tina.

So, I will see you after the parade
for the party.

Bet your life on it.

The VIP room and viewing deck.

That's the one. Here, let rne show you out so I
can get ready for Chris and the boys. (SLAPS)

Ooh! (LAUGHS)

Is he still spinning that bullshit line
he's a part of Kiwi Magic support team?

Most definitely.
And she still believes that shit'?

Did Eric score again'?

And I had to listen to it,
all on my own.

Where were you'?
Witnessing the miracle of birth.

Anne-Marie? Man, women get cranky
when they're child birthing.

Uncle Sparky, eh'?
Yeah. I have a nephew.

(SATELLITE SPIES'
'DESTINY IN MOTION')

(WILD CHEERING)

(PEOPLE SHOUT HAPPILY)

BERT WHISPERS: It's not my fault,
OK'? It's my natural manly smell.

Have you never heard of deodorant'?
Doesn't work.

Can we not talk about Ben's BO'?
Natural manly smell.

What would you rather talk about,
Ted? Rogernomics?

Oh, mate!
No, don't get him started.

I've got nothing to say about
Douglas, Prebble and that mob.

Except that they've betrayed your
beloved Labour Party.

Except that. So can we all just
sit in silence?

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

Least Phineas isn't in here farting.
Has anyone seen Phineas lately'?

He just needs some space,
that's all.

I haven't seen Phineas since what Brian
and I call 'the other incident' -

the one after the one when Curtis
was born. When Chantelle was born.

Are you sure you don't
need a blanket?

TEARFULLY: Nah, nah, I'm OK, thanks.

I just don't want you getting cold.
I said I'm OK! What are you, deaf'?!

Phineas! What on earth are
you doing?

I brung bubba a present.

Which is lovely.

But why do you have to get drunk
and naked to do it'?

I don't know.

(SNIFFLES)

I'm so happy for you.

(BEAR SQUEAKS)
You're a good man.

Thanks.

(SOBS)

Brian really is a lovely man,
and a great father.

He's a much better father than
I am a mother.

Carol, don't. Don't start this
again. You're a great mother.

I'm not.

I'm a terrible mother.

Brian's mother, now, she's a
good mother.

Boy, does she remind me of that
every chance she gets. Carol-

Like today. I don't even have a man doing jobs
any more, yet here I am on the widows' watch...

Don't call it that.
...waiting for your man to get home.

And yours, Cheryl.

What? Wolf. He's out on a job too,
isn't he? Like father, like son.

So?

So you should be sitting with us.
Chance'd be a fine thing.

It's tradition. Yeah, well, tradition
doesn't get the bloody washing done.

Might be different if certain people
would lend a hand.

You made it very clear you wanted
to do things your way, love.

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, MAN CHUCKLES)
What?

Oh, I just thought it's funny. Now it's
legal for Bilkey to be out of the closet,

here he is hiding in one. (CHUCKLES)
Hilarious, Lefty.

Can we leave here now'?
Give 'em five minutes,

they'll be swilling champagne and
eating prawns down the waterfront.

Parasites.

Gold futures parasites with money,
Ted, which is why we're here.

Still don't get what a
gold future is.

Futures trading, small Phineas, is
where you buy and sell commodities

based on an expected future-
(BEEPING)

Shit.
Lefty, shut that thing off.

Sorry. It'll be Ngaire.
Electronic ball and chain.

Lefty can catch up later.

Your friend came through?

For the price we agreed?
Same as last time.

I should probably test it first.
Every time, you say that.

Every time it's the choice shit.

Still, can't be too careful, eh'?

(SNIFFS)

OK. O-fucking-K.

I swear, Ngaire's on fire.
She loves it at the Galleria.

That doesn't sound like Ngaire. She's practically
running the place and turning over a nice profit too.

That's good.

Thought for a while she was giving away
free blowjobs with every purchase.

Oh.

Joking, Carol.

I was gonna say.

(DIAL CLICKS)

Oh no.

I Fucking now? I

Call Wolf.

The bloody baby's coming.
Oh my Lord!

(PHONE RINGS)

(EXHALES BREATHILY)
Nuh.

No- No! He has to be here.

Sorry, love, that ain't
gonna happen.

(GROANS)

Breathe, breathe, breathe.

I am fucking breathing!

Oh! God! This is way more intense
than the twins.

That'll be because after your first
babies, this one is coming faster.

The escape chute is deployed
and ready to go.

(GROANS)
We should call an ambulance.

Ambulances don't like coming to
this address.

Oh God!

All right.

Come on, Slutty Pants.
We're driving.

You've been drinking all day.
You got a better offer'?

Shit, the twins.

Carol, you stay here.
On my own?

You'll be fine.

(CHERYL GROANS)

(TYRES SQUEAL)

(CHERYL YELLS)

(LOW, TENSE MUSIC)

All clear.

Let's go and relieve the parasites
of their ill-gotten gains.

(CHERYL GROANS)

Can you shut the fuck up'?
I'm trying to drive here.

Just drive... (SOFTLY) you
fuckin' bitch.

(SCOFFS) Well, that's gratitude
for you.

(DRINK FIZZES)

(ICE CLINKS)

HESITANTLY Van'?

Jethro?

Hi, guys.

(SINISTER MUSIC)

I'm looking after you, OK,

because your mummy is off having
another baby.

Isn't that exciting'?

(BOYS YELL, SQUEAL)

(PANTS)
What'?

We made it, didn't we'?

So in this game, how hypothetical
money are we talking about'?

Biggest score ever. So you never have
to worry about money ever again.

I would give some to the church. Yeah, I'd
buy my own town, then burn it to the ground.

Sparky.

I would get a swimming pool full of
piss, and then just dive in it.

You would swim in your own urine? Not
that kind of piss! Booze, liquor.

But wouldn't that sting your eyes'?

It's not turned on.

Well, his alarm is meant to be on.

That's what Alan said.

Whoa, and deserted. Alarm off, door
unlocked doesn't suggest deserted.

But we're taking a look anyway.

(LOW, TENSE MUSIC)

Check there's no one here Get the door; I'll
get the van. What if there is someone here?

Then stop them from stopping us.

(TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(DOOR SQUEAKS SOFTLY)

Who the fuck are you'?

Don't you try anything, or else.

Or else what?

Or there'll be trouble.

Are you a rapist?

Eh'? What'? No. Why would you
think that'?

The balaclava, you're a man, you're
not meant to be here.

I mean, take your pick, really. No,
no, no, I-I'm not like that at all.

Well, then why are you here?

Well, I'm a robber. Can't you tell?

Oh yeah.

That also makes sense.

This weed is strong.
Yeah, it smells pretty sweet.

You want a hit?

OK.

Yeah.

There's someone here.
I can see that.

It's cool. If you wanna rob the
place, go for your life.

OK, I will.

Deal with this?

Do you work here?

Sort of.

Tie me up.
Sorry'?

You need to make it look like there
was some sort of struggle.

Oh yeah, right.

So you had to tie me to a chair
to restrain me.

But don't tie rne too tight, so I can free
myself and call the cops when you're gone.

OK, cool. Good plan.

We'll need some rope.

There's a power cable in the
cupboard. Here, hold this.

You must really hate your boss.
He's a total prick.

(INHALES, EXHALES BREATHILY)

Gold's real heavy, eh.

What we can carry will be more than
enough to set us up for ages.

Carry a lot more if Phineas
was here.

How long do you need to drill it'?
(CHEERING IN DISTANCE)

Uh, not long...

given the door was open.

You what?

(DEFLATED MUSIC)

Oh, look. Liquid gold.

Nice (!)

No, no, this is a gold futures company. They're
meant, by law, to have actual gold on the premises

to secure those futures.
I'm so selling my shares.

Yeah, Lefty, hit 'em where
it hurts (!)

Bastards making money out of
nothing. Sign of the bloody times.

So are we taking the flash piss'?

No! No, it's not worth
the attention.

Like we were never here, boys.

(SIGHS)

Oi, we're outta here.

Oi!

Yeah, yeah, all right.
Keep your hair on.

Is she going to be a problem'?
Nah. No.

I put the hard word on her.

Good job, Lefty.
And I mean that sarcastically.

It's not like you've found us
anything lately, have ya? Oi, oi.

Split up.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(CHAIN FENCE RATTLES)
(GRUNTS)

(SIGHS)

(SIREN WHOOPS)

Shit.

Ted West.
Constable Grant.

You are still a constable, right'?

So, what've you been up to, Ted'?

Living the good, clean
Christian life.

You know me.
Yes, I do.

What's in the bag'?

What, this bag'?
Yeah.

Nothing of any importance to you.

Well, open it up.

Ah, (LAUGHS). What, because
you say so'?

You know it doesn't work like that.

Open the bag.
On what grounds'?

On the grounds that you're Ted West.

I And you think that'll fly in court? I

Oh, jeez, no wonder you're still
pounding the pavement.

Bag!

Oink all you want, mate, I'm
not opening the bag.

And my lawyer is gonna have a
field day with that.

LOUDLY: Thank you for your cooperation
in agreeing to the bag search, sir.

I'm a locksmith. So what'?

'So what', Ted West,

is that you're under arrest.

All I'm saying is I'd just kill
for a pie right now.

Get rid of the stuff first.

Come on, Falani, you gonna join me
on this? You're always hungry.

Uh, why are we stopping?

There's something I need to do.

What, now'?
Yeah.

What about Alan'?
You can handle Alan.

Just don't let the smarmy prick
renegotiate the deal.

Right, as the person now in charge,
I'm calling it a pie then Alan.

(OTHERS CHUCKLE)

(LOW, MOODY MUSIC)

Why are you here'?
Sparky said.

I said why, not how.

I needed to see him.
And now you have.

Don't.
What'?

Do that thing, like those baby ducks
or whatever -

fall in love when they first
lay eyes on someone.

We agreed.

You didn't give me a choice.
Same thing.

Oh, hello.

How you feeling'?
OK.

Cup of tea'?
Can I get peppermint?

Peppermint tea for the lady.
Facilities are just down the hall.

Right. OK, sure.

A family friend.

You're here.
Mum!

So you got the message?

From Sparky, yeah.

How the fuck did Sparky get
the message?

It doesn't matter. I'm here now.
Making tea.

Well, the nurse said that
Cheryl was asleep,

so I thought seeing as I missed it,
I should come bearing gifts.

Like you're one of the wise men
from the Bible'?

(CHUCKLES) Something like that.

Making peppermint tea'?

Cheryl hates that fancy shit.

Is she awake'?

She hasn't been asleep, love.

I'm just saying what the nurse said.

She's been too busy worrying where
the father is to do that.

Well, I'm here now.

About bloody time.

Sorry I wasn't here.

I thought maybe you still hadn't forgiven rne
for everything I called you during the twins.

Nah, work, the job.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

So what do you think of her'?

She's so beautiful.

I know.

She is, isn't she'?

She was quick, too.

She's like a perfect little
princess.

And we better find a name fit for
a princess, hadn't we'?

Hey, I'm the one taking a loss.
HOW'?

The exchange rate.
What exchange rate'?

The one between Kelston and Ranui?

We nicked the stuff you asked for; you hand over
the cash. That's the fucking exchange rate.

Wolf said it was OK.
No, he didn't, you liar.

Give me the money.

You're a hard man, Eric.
Yeah, and don't you forget it.

No gold at all'?
Not a trace.

Bastards.
You can't trust anyone these days.

We are so selling those shares.
That's exactly what I said.

Although they are performing
very well.

No, Lefty, it's a matter
of principle. True.

First thing tomorrow I'll call Bob. And if,
while you're talking, Bob should ask...

You sent out word our Colombian
friend is in town'?

You didn't think I was gonna sit here all day selling
useless crap to nobodies? It's good shit too.

Yeah'?
Mm. Try for yourself.

After the balls-up that was today,
I need this.

Not much longer till we're out of
this shithole - you remember that.

All the bloody time.

(SNIFFS)

Gidday, Ted.
Riana.

Detective Riana to you. Clearly better
at your job than your boyfriend here

Not my boyfriend.
Enough.

Oh dear. Trouble in the sty,
was there?

Or are you not allowed to date
below your pay grade?

I said shut your mouth.

So what were you after, Ted,
with your bag of tricks?

Just out for a walk, were you?

No'? Nothing to say'?

Well, your ex-boyfriend here kept telling me
to shut it, so I'm just doing what I'm told.

She was always too good for you,
mate.

With your history and the contents of that
bag- You mean my history as a locksmith

and my locksmithing tools'?

The gloves, the balaclava.
I feel the cold.

What was the target, Ted'?

We're going door to door in the area,
but you can save us the time. Ha!

(CHUCKLES)

Is that the best you've got'?

Seriously, Riana, if you want to
wear the big-boy clothes,

you're gonna need better stuff than
that to scare the likes of me.

I'd like to make a phone call.

If that's all right with you.

(PHONE RINGS)

Rita'?
No, it's Ted.

You have to come home now. She left me here with
them, and I don't know how to control them.

Sorry, who left'?
Rita - left me with the twins.

They keep trying to kill each
other, and I think I'm next.

Did Rita say where she was going? She
went to the hospital. What, why?

With Cheryl, to have the baby.

You have to get here, Ted. They keep jumping on me
and then running away. I don't know what to do.

You have to come here and control them.
I Crucially

You're their grandfather, Ted. They'll
listen to you. I'm kind of....

at the police station.

Oh. That's not good.

I need Rita to find Minty.
He's not answering his phone.

(BZZT!)

Oh shit.
What?

WHISPERS: They're coming.
Carol, I need my lawyer.

Carol?

(WATER BUBBLES, MUSIC PLAYS)

Hello.

Eric, we have company.

Hey!

Krystal with a K.
Hey, Eric with a Y.

You made it.
I said I would.

Your name isn't spelt with a Y.

Well, c-come in, have a drink.
Make yourself at home.

Take your clothes off if you want.
(LAUGHS)

Nah, I'm just kidding. Unless
you want to, of course.

Get me wasted enough, you never
know your luck.

I like the cut of your jib.

Eric would look really stupid if
you spelt it with a Y.

(SIGHS) This is my crew.

Sparky and Falani.

Just ignore them if you like.

So, how much did you make from today?
Uh... Yeah, heaps.

Heaps. Heaps and heaps.
Sweet.

You told this woman of today's job'?

I was there.

What, you were the lady from
the office?

Eric, with a dick, do you think this is wise inviting
the woman at the job to our after-job function?

Yeah, and giving her the address
of our secret hideout.

Of course it is. Krystal's a
good sort.

Plus she hates her boss. Right'?

Yeah. Total wanker.
See?

It's all good.

Who wants some hash'?

Ohhh f...

You warm enough?
Yeah.

You don't need another
blanket or anything? No.

Something to eat'?
Wolf, I'm not pissed off at you.

You were out on a job, which
is good for us.

I just wanna be helpful, that's all.

Look at her.

We've got a beautiful girl now.

And maybe she'll calm those
boys down.

(GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC)

I know it hasn't been easy for us
this last year or so.

But things'll get better now.

(THUNDER CRACKS)
You and Cheryl had another fight'?

Nah.

Yeah.

Apparently I'm the world's
worst father.

Wolf, you can't turn up on my doorstep
every time you and your wife get into it.

I was riding past, saw the light on.

No, you weren't, and no, it wasn't.

Close enough.

Can I come in? It's freezing
out here.

So if she's gonna be, like, this perfect
little princess who chills the boys out,

we'd better give her the right name.

Oh God, the boys. Do you think
they'll be OK'?

Carol's got kids. She knows
what to do.

FEARFULLY: OK, guys. How about we
take ourselves off to bed now'?

Does that sound like a good idea'?

(DOOR CREAKS, SLAMS)

(CLATTERING)
Shit.

OK. Van - or Jethro - whichever one
is still out here,

it is time for bed now.
(GLASS SHATTERS)

(KNOCKS)
Oh my God! You're here!

You sounded afraid on the phone. Just when
you think you've got them in one place,

they split up. And you never know
which one is which and...

If you're here, who's looking
after our kids?

Mum was only too happy.
Oh, I'm sure she was.

Don't be like that She loves to help. You
know that. And judge me in the process.

OK, I can see you're stressed.

What's the status?
One in a bedroom and one downstairs.

Right. You sit down,

have your gin. I've got it
from here.

Van- Van, put down the chainsaw!
No! No!

What about Trixie-Belle'?
Trixie for short

Or Fifi.
Fifi? Yeah, I quite like that.

For a poodle.
Sorry, Mum'?

Nothing. Anyone want a cuppa tea?
That'd be great, thanks, Rita.

OK, that was too easy.

So what shall we really call
our little princess'?

God, she is, isn't she'?

Mrs West.
Anne-Marie.

You've had your baby, then.

Yesterday.
Congratulations.

And?

Sorry?
Boy? em?

Oh, um, boy. Yes.

A little nephew for Sparky.

He's been looking forward to this.
Yes, he's very excited.

Cheryl had a girl - today, in case
you were wondering.

Of course. That's why you're here.

It is.
Congratulations - to you and to her.

Three times a grandmother. Never
thought I'd see the day.

Oh, I like the smell of your tea.

Is that peppermint?
Yeah.

Refreshing?
I like it.

Look, I have to go, but I'll try
and catch up with Cheryl.

I'm sure she'd love that.

Do you... have anyone, Anne-Marie'?

A father for that baby'?

No.

I'm sorry.

I'll cope.

Are you sure'?
lam if you are.

I am. I love it.
Then yeah, we're sure. (LAUGHS)

Maybe it's a sign.
Of what?

That she'll be this cruisy,
low-stress, low-maintenance girl.

Does exactly what she's told.
Never causes any trouble.

Only dates guys her father
approves of.

If she dates at all.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

We've decided.

What?

On her name.

That was quick.

(BOTH CHUCKLE SOFTLY)

When I was in primary school, I drew
this picture of a unicorn

and it was the pinkest, sparkliest
unicorn ever.

And I pinned the picture to the
wall above my bed.

Every time I looked at it,
it made me smile.

And I named the unicorn
Princess Pascalle.

So that's her name.
Princess Pascalle?

Well, just the Pascalle bit.

Pascalle.

Sounds kinda classy too, eh'?

Classier than Rita, that's for sure.

You approve?

If it keeps you both happy.

Pascalle, eh'? Unusual.

Right, time for everyone who's a new
mother to get some sleep,

and everyone who isn't to come back
during visiting hours tomorrow.

Give my love to those boys.
I will.

OK, you've had your fun.
Now let me go.

Ted, this isn't fun for us. It's
what we do for the good of society.

My son's wife is having a baby
today. Probably already had it.

How is you keeping me from that
doing society a favour'?

You're being held, Mr West, under section 2.3.3
of the Crimes Act for attempted robbery.

What robbery'? There is no robbery.

You were found with the tools to commit the crime
in your possession. I'm a fucking locksmith!

Constable Grant tells me that you
resisted arrest.

I did no such fucking thing.
Offensive language inciting a riot.

What?

You're right. Inciting a riot is
possibly a step too far.

Especially when we've got you on a
platter for everything else.

Oh, and we found your lawyer, by the way.
He's at some America's Cup parade piss-up.

He's sobering up now.

So you're not seeing your grandkid
any time soon, I'm afraid, Ted.

(SCOFFS)

VBG or Metropole?

Are you allowed back to VBG'?

Only one way to find out.

(SNIFFS)

I vote VBG. This will actually be so
much easier when we live in Parnell.

I'll drink to that.
Oh!

Whoa.

What?

We don't have to be anywhere
just yet, do we, Mrs Munroe'?

What on earth are you suggesting,
Mr Munroe?

On! (LAUGHS)

(SULTRY SAXOPHONE MUSIC)

(BABY WAILS)

So what are you gonna do'?

I'm gonna have a baby.
That's what I'm gonna do.

You know you don't have to
have the baby.

Yes, I know that.

I'm gonna have a baby because...

I want the baby. OK?

And what am I supposed to do'?

You're gonna leave Cheryl,
setup house with me.

Exactly.

Cheryl's pregnant again.

I Well, aren't you Mr fucking Fertile? I

Hey, I just wanna help.

However I can. Wolf, the only
reason I'm here telling you this

is so that you wouldn't find out some
other way and do something stupid.

You have your family,
and I have mine.

That's the way it's gonna be.

(LOW, CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC)

(BABIES CRY)

Funny old world.

Your wife and your ex having babies
pretty much on the same day.

One of them has nothing to do
with me.

That so'?

Anne-Marie says the father is some
guy she met when she was in Aussie.

Nothing to do with you'?

Nothing to do with me.

I need to do some business.
I'll see you at home.

(BABIES CRY)

(MAN AND WOMAN MOANING, GASPING)

If I could get my legs to work,
I'd run away.

This is the worst stone ever.

WOMAN: Yeah! (PANTS)
(MAN MOANS)

Hey, guys. Wolf.
Wolf will save us.

Save you from what'? Jesus, what
the fuck is that'?

(WOMAN GASPS)
ERIC: Wolf?

Hold on to that thought.
No, don't hold on to that.

Ah! (GRUNTS)

Hey, Wolfie. I told you never
to call me that, Eric.

You get the money'?
Sure. Sure, sure, sure.

Yeah, it all went well after you
mysteriously left us.

Yeah, well, I kinda needed to
get to the hospital.

Cheryl had the baby.
Oh, no way!

Don't touch me. Just get the money.

On to it.

Does this miracle of nature
have a name yet'?

Yeah. Pascalle.

Classy.
Aren't babies the best.

Yes, they are, Sparky.

Maybe one day your daughter and
my nephew will get married.

Here we go. All accounted for.

Hey.

What's she doin' here'?
Don't make him go into detail.

It's OK. Krystal's cool.
Yeah, and Eric's the boss,

so if you got a problem with it...

On your head. This comes back to us,
it's on your head, got it'?

Yeah. It's all under control.

Now, where were we'?
(CHUCKLES)

(BOTH LAUGH)

Pascalle'?
Yeah.

It's a lovely name.

Not my suggestion of Diana?
No.

Not even as a middle name'?

We didn't get as far as
middle names.

How are the boys'?

They were great. I read them
stories.

Seriously? And they
actually listened?

Well, not to begin with,
but I persevered.

And is Ted back yet'?

Oh shit.

Fuck, fuckitty-fuck!

Yeah, he's in jail.

Sorry, I forgot about that.

He's in with his lawyer now. He can
talk to Minty after you've let him out.

After he's talked to Mr Mint,
he will be held overnight...

Oh, you are shitting rne. ...until he's brought
before the district court tomorrow morning.

Give it a bloody rest, Riana.
This is bullshit and you know it.

Tomorrow morning at 10am on charges
of attempted robbery.

On charges of walking around with
fucking work tools in his bag!

And if you want to join him in court tomorrow,
Rita, carry on speaking to me like that.

(SIGHS)

Can I see him, Riana?

Yes.
Good.

I District court, tomorrow, 10am. I.

Those charges are bullshit. They're
picking on him because of who he is.

Who we are.
That too.

Minty and Declan are all over it.

Is that reassuring?
Well, they got you off, didn't they'?

Right,...

I'm off to bed.

You had a daughter today.

Yeah, we did.

Daughters are special.

Yeah, I know.

Just looking at her...

And that wife of yours...

she was a trouper in that
delivery room.

A fuckin' mother who will love
your kids to death.

I know.

Personally, she's a pain in the
arse, but...

as a mother, I reckon
she's a keeper.

You do know that, right'?

Hard not to.

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDE)

(FUNKY MUSIC)

# Hey, hey, hey.

# Yeah.

(SNIFFS)

# Wake up,

# everything smells... great. #

(GRUNTS)
Don't look at me!

Oh yeah!

(GRUNTS)

Don't look at me.

(BOTH GRUNT)

(GASPS WITH PLEASURE)

(PANTS)

Like I said, I've got family shit
to do today.

Yeah.

(EXHALES) But I will be back...
(CHUCKLES)

...for more of that.

Mm. (CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

So, do they like the idea of
having a little sister'?

Van cried. Jethro asked if he
could sell her.

Ted and I will meet you
at the hospital. Yep

Get her some fuckin' flowers.

They seem very calm this morning. That'll
change. Thanks for looking after them.

Can I smack them with a
wooden spoon'?

Yeah, if you can find it.

Well, give my love to the
baby factory.

(BOYS GIGGLE)

See ya, Mandy.

Fuck.

Cheryl's having a shower. Your
little girl's still asleep.

In the nursery.

Ta.

She went home this morning,
just the two of them.

(BROODING MUSIC)

Shouldn't you be in there?
Why?

Ted.
Oh, that's all done.

Oh, so they've dropped the
stupid charges.

No.

Then how is it all done'?
Well, it's done - the hearing.

No, it's not till 10.

9.
NO, 10.

No, 9. He was first on the ticket.

Oh, that little bitch.

(SIGHS) Why didn't you tell me'?

When would I have done that'?

I saw Ted last night, then I went
straight home to bed.

I should not have driven.
So what happened?

I took the back roads.
Not last night; just now in there.

Oh, right. Uh, not so good,
I'm afraid.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

They've remanded him in custody
for walking the streets?

Makes him sound like a prostitute
when you say that.

Ignore me. I'm so hungover.

Rita. Didn't see you in there.

Cheap bloody shot, Riana.

Ted was looking for you -

in court.

Perhaps we should walk away now.

This won't be forgotten.

Bank on that.

Fuckin' bitch.

Guess who I bumped into this
morning.

Hi, Cheryl.

I didn't know you were here. Not for
much longer. Just getting this one home.

So cute. Boy or a girl'?

Boy. Brandon.

Girl. Pascalle.

Lovely name.

(BABY FUSSES)

Hey, we should get these guys
together so they can play and stuff.

That sounds like a good idea.
I have to go now.

Sparky is an uncle, eh'?

Yeah. Any sign of a father
in the picture?

Sparky hasn't said anything.
Maybe in Australia.

Shit, it's gonna be so hard for her
doing everything on her own.

Well, she has Sparky now.

Exactly. We should definitely
try to help out.

Well, we have three now, so
just remember that.

All right, you about ready to go'?

Where's Ted? I thought he was coming to meet
his granddaughter. Yeah, slight problem there.

He got screwed over. He is being
remanded in custody

because of one bitch who is gonna get the
mother of all slappings at some stage.

(SIGHS) But Ted'll be fine. Come on, let's get
this one home to meet her brothers, God help her.

(DAVE DOBBYN'S 'GUILTY')
# Take back those fears

# born of fantasy.

# Cos your truth is it's
do or die here, yeah.

# All comforts of home are
wearing your soul blind.

# Shading you guilty,

# guilty through neglect.

# And I know you are useless
sometimes.

# It drives me wild.

# Guilty through neglect. #

Who the fuck are these
little pricks?

Stealing from me.

And what they did to me too.

Plus terrorizing my girl.

I was so scared, Dad.

Why were you even there?

I told you, I go there sometimes
to do my homework.

It's quiet.

I mean, who are these fuckers, eh'?

Come on, someone must know who
the fuck they are.

(UNSETTLING MUSIC)

In your absence, Wolf thinks he's
the man of the house.

He wants to keep knocking Slutty Pants up,
he can do it in his own damn bedroom.

You cheating on me'?
No! No, not yet.

It's my boss. Wolf and them have
pissed him off.

Who are you working for?
Can't say.

Loyalty is a valuable trait - if
you're being loyal to me.

What can I do for you, pretty lady?

Ugh!

All right, Frankie Fuck-face,
you've said your piece.

Now get the fuck out of my shop.

Or you could get the fuck out
of West Auckland.