Wellington Paranormal (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - The Sevens Ghosts - full transcript

Well, we've been called out
to a reported disappearance.

Officer O'Leary is currently speaking
with the missing person's

girlfriend.

Um, so what was your
boyfriend's name?

- Noah.
- OK.

And can you tell me,
what actually happened?

We just came out of the shop,
and we were having a vape.

And out of nowhere, this
blur zoomed past and,

like, took Noah with him.

So, what do you mean by "blur"?

Like it was, like, real blurry.

I actually thought his vape had
exploded or something,

but it, it hadn't.

What had happened to his vape?

Um, I don't know.

But I really hope it's OK,
because it's a real good one.

Um, what was Noah wearing?

He had, a stripy top,
a black beanie, glasses.

And he was smoking a vape.

Yeah.

So you've, kind of, just described
every guy in Wellington.

Um, can you think of anything that
maybe, you know, sets him apart?

Um.

Yeah. He's vegan.

O'Leary.

CCTV:

Look, sir.

Were you aware there was a,
a kidnapping outside the front

of your store earlier on today?

OK. I'll take that as a 'yes.

I'm just wondering if we could
perhaps look at your security footage?

Um, I noticed you've got a camera
out the front there.

So, if we could have a look, that'd
be great. Would that be OK?

- Take that as a 'yes'.
- Take that as a 'yes'.

The store owner has,
uploaded the footage now.

We're just checking out the footage
from earlier on today.

You should update you're,
security system, mate.

This one's a bit, it's
a bit smudgy, isn't it?

That's not a smudge.

Something is swallowing him up.

I'm awake.

- Thanks for that outburst, Minogue.
- Good afternoon, team.

In the agenda today,
Lindale Farm's most famous sheep,

Betty, has gone missing.

No.

In other news, I am looking
for a flatmate if anyone is keen

to spread the news.

What are the details?

So it's in Newlands.

It is two thirty a week.

You will get your own en
suite and a carpark.

And you'll be living
with myself and Tinkles.

Tinkles is my cat. Yes, Parker.

Does the two thirty include bills?

The two thirty includes internet
and, some utilities,

such as toilet paper
and cleaning products.

OK. I'll take it then.

Well, no.
It's not actually that, simple.

It's, quite a involved process.

There is quite a bit
waiting list, Parker.

I could give Parker a reference,
character, a character reference.

- You could?
- You've never lived with him.

No, I know. But I've seen him at
work.

All right, like,
please let's focus up.

Spread the news and,
have a good day everybody.

Dismissed.

OK.

So your missing hipster,
it turns out to be the third case

just like it this week.

The other two showed up,
feeling slightly

disoriented and disturbed.

Hold on.

Kia or a.

Go for Sarge.

Yep.

All right, thank you.

Looks like they've found
your missing hipster.

Also another victim has turned up.

He's waiting for you
at the front desk.

- Copy that.
- Copy that.

So, I'd just come back
from my shift at, Neptune's.

The trendy fish and chip shop.

How big are the chips there?

- Probably about, that big.
- By the scoop?

We don't need to know about the
chips, sir.

Can you just carry
on describing what happened?

This spectre comes up
and grabs me, and goes,

"Hey, Wiremu.

You're late.

And then draws on me.

Sorry, it drew on you?

Upside down I.

Well, it's right side up
from my perspective.

- If you could.
- No, upside down from mine.

If you could just sit
down and carry on.

So I was like, "Well,
don't draw on me.

But also my name is not Wiremu".

And it looked, kind of, sad.

Could you maybe describe this
"spectre" in a bit more detail?

It looked really,
kind of, screwed up,

like it'd been in an
accident or something.

But it was wearing a red
and white stripy top,

glasses and a beanie.

Sorry.

Kia or a, Officer O'Leary.

Paranormal Office. Let's go.

Here.

In 2001, almost twenty years
to the day, six people travelling

to the Wellington Sevens Rugby Game
were killed in a car accident.

As you may recall,
the Wellington Sevens involved

attendees wearing colourful
and fun group-themed,

costumes, mainly big
men in little dresses.

The people who died that day,
however, were all dressed in stripy

tops, beanies and glasses.

Just like the two guys that
you picked up, and their kidnapper.

They're dressed like Wally from my
favourite book, "Where's Wally?".

Don't believe I'm familiar
with that particular literature,

"Where is Wally?"?

That's a, type of literature
where the reader is tasked,

with finding the
character called Wally.

He is the reason why
I got into policing.

Why? Because you always found him?

No. I never found him.

- You never found him?
- I'm still working on the case.

I'm actually working on a hunch

that he doesn't actually exist
in the book at all.

Interesting.

I've had Parker track down
the costume, and it's actually

called, "Lost Traveller
Glasses Man".

That's Wally.

Well, I think perhaps for legal
reasons they've chosen to call

the costume, "Lost
Traveller Glasses Man.".

Wally.

Well, I'd prefer if you called it,
"Lost Traveller Glasses Man."

Legal reasons.

Hey, look, how did these
Wallies die...

How did the Lost Traveller Glasses
Men die?

Good question.

Their van crashed into another
vehicle containing people dressed

as sexy crayons.

It then flew off an offramp
into the side of a building.

Fortunately the sexy
crayons escaped unharmed.

Slight digression here, Sarge.
But, can crayons be sexy?

Yes. They can be.

They sure can be.

Yes, they can.

Sarge.

Yeah. Yeah.

That's, nots what, that's,
not was is important here.

There is a spirit at loose.

Trying to drag the living
into the realm of the dead.

So, I want the two of
you to get out there and.

Look for this Wally.

The, the, the Lost
Traveller Glasses Man.

- The Lost Traveller Glasses Man.
- Traveller Glasses Man. Thank you.

I used to love the Sevens.

It's bringing back so
many great memories.

I can't think of anything
worse, to be honest.

What do you mean?

Hanging with your mates,
wearing a costume.

- Well, what was your costume?
- Policeman.

What? And then you became
a real police officer?

No. I was already a police officer
when I started going to the Sevens.

So you were already a police
officer, and then you'd hire

a policeman costume every year?

I wore this one. It was actually me
and four other police officers.

Turns out these are quite realistic,

and they saved us a whole
bunch of money.

It was just difficult when we'd go
into town afterwards.

And people would want me to help
them, but I was off duty.

So, well, we're back here
at the scene where the disappearance

then re-appearance
occurred last night.

Just on the, lookout
for anything suspicious,

specifically, anyone who is a ghost
wearing a stripy top,

beanie and glasses.

I mean, I'm here on Manners Street.

I mean, it's pretty
quiet, give or take.

Um, but hopefully Minogue
is having a bit more luck,

up at Left Bank.

So, I'm down here at Left Bank,
on the hunt for our

suspect or suspects.

As you can see, it's
a very busy night.

There's a lot of people around,
which makes it a tougher job on me.

Um, so it could be
difficult to spot him.

We could actually be
in for quite a long night.

There he is.

That was really quick.

Um, generally when you're looking
for Wally, it takes forever.

Um, in fact, I've never found him
before, so I'm actually pretty

happy with that.

Um, quite possibly my
shortest-lived victory to date.

No. There he is.

Excuse me, sir.

I've got some questions for you.
Where have you been tonight?

None of your business.

You seem a little bit worse for wear.
Are you OK?

Yeah. Fine.

OK. Well, I'm just gonna let you know
that you match the description

of someone we've been
looking for in relation

to a certain incident.

We'll be taking you down
to the police station

for further questioning.

Dumb.

So, we've managed to find
the suspect very early

on in the night, which is
fantastic news for us.

Um, we'll be able to get him
down to the station,

get the questioning done,
and hopefully get to the bottom

of this, in quick time.

There he is.

Stop that Wally.

So still now sign of our suspect.

I've been trudging round for hours
now, and no sign of him.

Feels like a waste
of time, to be honest.

There he is.

Excuse me.

Stop. Police.

Yeah.

You all right, mate?

Another upside down 'I.

- You all right, sir?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

OK, obviously he looks not fine.

Quite intoxicated, in fact.

And matches the,
description of the suspect

or suspects, stripy top,
that kind of thing.

So we'll go check it out.

You guys just stay back. We don't
know. This might be a ghost, OK.

Wait there.

Excuse me. Are you OK, sir?

Yeah. I'm fine.

OK. You're actually not OK.

Look, your vomit is glowing,
that's certainly not good.

Well, you seem to have
some sort of alcoholic,

sort of, beverage adhered
to each of your hands.

Scrumpy hands.

OK, well, I'm gonna have to ask
you to put your scrumpy hands

where I can see them,
so turn around, please.

You're under arrest for,
public intoxication.

Starting to lose patience
with this guy, to be honest.

There he is.

Excuse me, sir. I'm starting to lose
patience with you.

- Now, if you stay still.
- No, if you're doing the front...

No, actually, you're right, you won't
sit in the car otherwise.

Well, you stay behind. I'll go
behind. You're in charge.

- Can you turn around please?
- Yes.

I'm starting to get
slightly frustrated.

Me too.

Why are you getting frustrated?
Can you come back please?

- Sorry.
- Thank you.

- We're not playing games here, OK?
- I'm not playing a game.

Epic fail. OK, sorry. OK, go ahead.
Do it.

Well, I'll do it. OK.

You don't, you're actually
making a fool of yourself now.

I can actually do it
better than you.

Do I get a... Whoa. Boom.

- OK, well, that's actually OK.
- Just like that. Boom.

Thank you. Just, thank you.

I just need to, radio my partner now.

- OK. Shhh.
- Thank you.

In you get. Mind your head.

OK. OK. OK.

Quiet in the back, you Wallies.

Sit back please. Sit back please.
Thank you.

- Make it click.
- Have you seen my mate, Wiremu?

No.

Hey, when we get to the station,
when we, and we get photos,

can we keep the photos afterwards,

so we can show our friends
we got arrested?

- That'll be all right?
- No. Hang on a second.

Do you realise it's not actually
cool to get arrested?

Come on. It's a little bit cool.

- It's a little bit cool.
- OK.

- OK.
- It's a little bit cool, though.

It's actually quite
the opposite, OK?

Actually quite the opposite.
It is not cool at all.

Kurt Cobain? Arrested.

Frank Sinatra? Arrested.

I don't think they know.

Well, that's probably for the best,

because if they did know
they were ghosts,

they'd just walk out the car.

- What are you guys talking about?
- Nothing.

I'm not intoxicated.

OK. Excuse me, you were vomiting
all over the place in a public area.

- What's wrong with that?
- It's illegal.

- No. Not in Levin.
- Boom.

Why have you been abducting people?

Can I see you two
in my office, please?

I've got something to show you.
Parker, you can keep an eye on them.

Are they, are they ghosts, Sarge?

- Yes, Parker. They're ghosts.
- I don't, what the hell? I...

- Go in there now.
- Look. Sarge.

OK, they are showing us no
respect in, in there.

- Hurry up, Parker.
- Yeah, OK.

- We can talk about it in the office.
- We failed at our job.

OK, so what I think
is going on here

is that these spirits have been
looking for their one surviving

mate, Wiremu, and they've been
accosting people dressed the same,

to see if it's him?

So we need to find this Wiremu.

Wiremu could be the key
in stopping this pattern.

So, we need to talk to these ghosts
before they strike again.

One moment.

Sergeant's Log. We need to talk
to these ghosts before

they strike again.

I'm gonna get a coffee.

And then we'll go
straight up talk to them.

I can't get these stupid
bottles off my hands, bro.

Ever since that crash.

Yeah. I'm surprised we survived
the crash.

And then we got owned, bro.

- You think we're dead?
- Yeah, Bo.

Hey, G Unit. Are we dead?

Um.

I regret to inform you that
you have deceased.

- Fail!
- Sucks to be us, bro.

Epic Fail.

- Hey. You know what that means?
- What?

We're no longer held
by physical laws, bro.

Boom!

- Let's bounce!
- Yeah.

No, don't bounce. You can't
bounce. You can't bounce.

We still need to question you.

Boom town.

Where's Boom town?

Just be advised, guys.

Something is not right here.
Hey, Parker.

What happened? Where did they go?

Sarge, they disappeared
into the ghost realm.

I'm so sorry.

Don't worry about it.
That's OK, Parker.

OK, guys.

Let's head towards the city,
also we should look out for anyone

that looks like them.

Even if they're not ghosts,
they're potential kidnap victims.

Boy, these Wallies are elusive.

I mean, Lost
Traveller Glasses Men.

They really are fascinating
books, O'Leary.

For instance, did you know that
Wally is called something different

in every single country?

- I did not know that, Minogue.
- Yeah.

In America, he's called Waldo.

In Germany, he's known as Walter.

Guess what he's called in France?

- I don't know.
- Charlie.

"Ou est Charlie?"
"Voila. Il ya Charlie."

Does that look like
a legitimate park to you?

No.

You don't see that every day.

Come on, Minogue. There might be
casualties. Come on.

Take the lift.

Which floor? Which floor, do you
reckon?

- Five.
- Five? You reckon?

Are you sure it wasn't three?
We're five.

This is like
the cable car all over again.

Sometimes you feel like it's
quicker to take the stairs.

We should have taken, why didn't we
take the stairs? Come on. Come on.

Excuse me, have you seen some
sort of a, vehicle,

like a big, did you hear a crash?

- Some sort of explosion?
- Can you hear that?

- What?
- Down there.

Down there. Down there.

So, Officer Minogue and myself have
stumbled across quite a serious

vehicle incident here.

Um, this van behind us has actually
crashed into the Ministry

for Motor Vehicle Safety,
which is both ironic and actually

not very safe at all.

Driver has done a runner, O'Leary.

So, as Minogue just said,
any potential suspects appear

to have fled the scene.

So we'll just get in there,
and ascertain what's gone on here.

There's a ton of evidence in here.

OK, that's good.

Mind your step, there's
a lot of debris.

- Minogue?
- Look at this stuff.

You need to leave that in there,
because that's evidence.

Hold that. Make a pile of clothes
over there.

No, they're not getting in there.

You really shouldn't
be getting there, OK.

You should get in there, man.
There's so much cool stuff in here.

- Minogue, can you...
- Holy. They've got a Limp Bizkit CD.

Excuse me. Did you see the, that big.

Um, you just carry on.

Thank you.

Come in, Sarge. It appears Minogue
has been abducted by a ghost van

containing a number of ghosts.

Copy that, O'Leary.
We'll head to your location now.

It seems that these
ghosts have struck again.

This time they've
kidnapped Minogue.

I'm gonna see if I can
get him on the RT.

Minogue, can you hear me? Over.

Really good, actually.

What do you think is
their purpose, Minogue?

Why have they taken you?

They want to take me to the Sevens.

They're really impressed
with my knowledge of Wally.

That's not my name.

Look, Minogue, I believe these guys

don't want to just take you to the
Sevens.

They want to take you to
the after party in the sky.

Do not go with them.

I repeat. Do not go with them.

I'm already with them.

I believe that Wiremu
still resides in Wellington,

Upper Hutt to be precise.

So, you and Parker,
go and track down this Wiremu,

and tell him what's going on.

I'm going to contact
the spirits via Minogue,

and tell them to let him go.

Copy that.

Hey, Sarge.

Did you get my application
for the room in your flat?

Yes. I did.

And was it successful?

No. Sorry, Parker.

That, room has
gone to somebody else.

I've got quite a bit
of whiteware that I could...

- Not.
- You know, yeah.

Like I, like I said, Parker.
The room has already gone. Um.

If I just add an extra
hundred dollars.

Look, look, Parker.

I've, I've already
consulted with Tinkles.

Your loss.

I beg to differ.

Gosh, it's good?

I feel like I'm the new Minogue.

I kind of am, in a way?

I wonder if I will
become the new Minogue.

Hey, who, am I? Who am I being?

Hi, I'm Minogue.

My brother is Adam, and he makes
salads for me for lunch.

Are you being Minogue?

Yes, I am. You got it.

Yeah. People don't often
get my impersonations.

So what I've started
doing is saying.

"Hi, I'm." and then I say the name
of the person that I'm

impersonating, and that usually
gives them enough clues to know

who I'm impersonating.

- I'll try another one on you.
- No. It's OK.

Hi.

I'm a duck.

Who was that?

Did you just say, "I'm a duck"?

- Hello.
- Are you Wiremu?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, kia or a, Wiremu.

Um, I'm Officer O'Leary.
This is Officer Parker.

Um, do you mind if we come in?

What, what, what's this about?

Um, I think you might be able
to help us, in regards

to the kidnapping of my
partner by some former

associates of yourself.

Do you live here by yourself?

Yeah.

Um, look, so we have reason
to believe that your six mates

who unfortunately died
and passed away on their way

to the Wellington Sevens,
back in 2001, have actually come

back but in ghost form.

- No.
- Yeah.

And, they've kidnapped my partner,
because they're missing one element

of their group, and that's you.

Um, you, you might want to sit down.

I'm so sorry.

I, I just tried to block that
part of my life out.

And, I really should have
been there with them,

but then I, I would have been dead.

But that's just what people say
in situations like that.

Yeah. I mean, look.

End of the day, we just need
your help to bring them in.

Hey, are there two bathrooms here?

Well, there's actually.

Hey. Hey, guys. Well, we just really
need to focus right now. OK?

Because I'm living with my mum
at the moment, but the bathroom.

O'Leary, I've got a situation.

I'm in the ghost van,
these guys have given my scrumpy

hands, and now they think
I'm their friend Wiremu.

OK. Minogue, tell them that
I've found the real Wiremu.

OK? I'm with him right now
at 12 Wairoa Crescent, Upper Hutt.

Hey, guys.
My mate is calling from Upper Hutt.

- Mate?
- She found the real Wiremu.

What's that? Is that them now?

- I'm not sure.
- We could pretend we're not here.

We're not going to do that, Parker.

This is going to be
strange, isn't it?

It's quite, just
a little bit peculiar. Maybe.

But that's, it's, we're here for you.
OK?

Do you have a heat pump here?

- There's actually.
- Parker.

Sorry.

How did you get here so quickly?

It's a ghost van.

- But where are the others?
- Um.

Wiremu?

You look different.

I was gonna, I was gonna say
that you guys, kind of,

look the same, almost.

- You ate all the pies, then.
- Yeah.

Hey, we've been looking
all over for you, Wizza.

Hey, let's grab a feed before
we go to the Sevens, bro.

Wiremu, you're gonna have to tell
them you can't accompany them. OK?

- Shall we get a feed?
- OK.

You've got this.

O'Leary, can you help me
with my scrumpy hands?

No. Not right now. OK?

Hey, is this a good area to live in?

For you?

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, guys. Guys, excuse me.

Wiremu wants to talk
to you guys, please.

Come in. Gather round.

So, twenty years ago
you guys were on your way

to the Sevens, right?

And you crashed into a van
full of sexy crayons.

The van then jettisoned off a bypass
and into a building,

and, that's when you guys all, died.

- Wait, what? I don't.
- Yeah, no. Stop.

- Forgot, we forgot to say.
- Yeah.

Yeah. We, we're dead.

Fail.

I was in a bar talking
to a girl, and.

Ooh!

And that's why I missed the pickup,
which is why...

I'm alive. I'm sorry.

Did you get with the
girl from the bar?

We got married.

Yeah, yeah.

And, and now we're divorced.

But I, I get the teenage kids,
on, on the weekends. So it's.

- Yuck.
- I can't think of anything worse.

It actually sounds
like my worst nightmare.

That sounds like
a hellish existence.

- It's better than being dead.
- Debatable.

Um.

Sounds like you need
a night out, though.

To the Wellington Sevens.

I'm... I'm gonna step in here and,
sorry to inform you guys,

but the, Sevens aren't actually
in Wellington anymore.

- OK? They've been moved to Hamilton.
- Hamilton.

That sucks.

The chlamydia capital?

No. That, well, that's
actually contestable,

because Palmerston North
is right up there as well.

- That's true.
- I saw that coming.

Let's go to Hamilton then.

I, I'm not gonna go.

Why? Is it because your new life
is super depressing?

No. It's because you're
dead and I'm alive. OK?

Ooh!

Insensitive. I mean, can we at least
get a photo together?

Yeah.

We could take it on my cellphone.

That's a tiny computer!

Wiremu! Wiremu!
Let's get a photo with the van.

Three, two, one.

Should probably have
told them they cancelled

the Hamilton Sevens this year.

Nah.

Dicks.

Sorry for your loss.

Um, so all in all the night
was actually a success,

other than the ghosts obviously
having to go to Hamilton.

That's bad news for Hamilton,
and bad news for the ghosts.

All these years I've been
wondering where's Wally,

and perhaps I should have been
wondering how's Wally.

Well, it's Lost
Travelling Glasses Man.

Man.

Check, who, am I?

Um. I'm Officer O'Leary.

It's certainly not optimal.

It's her.

- He's doing you.
- Yeah.

- That sounds nothing like me.
- Pretty good. It's pretty good.

- What?
- It's close.

- You do it then.
- But just.

- Down here, yeah.
- I'm Officer O.

I'm Officer O'Leary.

- Grrr.
- I'm Officer Parker!