Welcome to Sweden (2014–2015): Season 2, Episode 1 - Flash Mob/Frieriet - full transcript

Ahh.

Okay, I'm just going
to come out and say it.

I'm going to ask Emma to marry me.

And I just wanted to stop by here

to get your permission first.

Well, that's not up to me.

You have to ask Emma about that.

No, I know.

But it's tradition,
so I just wanted to...

Where?

Every... everywhere, I thought.



But, maybe they don't do
it in Sweden but I don't...

- Viveka?
- _

No, no, you don't have to involve her.

Bruce wants our
permission to marry Emma.

No, I don't, I just
need your permission.

- It's only the fa...
- Why are you asking for?

A straight yes or no?

Um... yes?

Then it's no.

No, wait. Wait. I, I...

Listen, I realize maybe I'm not
exactly what you guys had in mind

for a son-in-law, but I
really love your daughter.

She's smart and she's
funny and she's beautiful...

Tall.



And tall.

God, I feel really vulnerable saying
this in front of you guys right now

but I... I want to be
together with her forever.

- Aww!
- And make her happy every day.

And I just wanted you two to
know that, because it's true.

And will always be true.

Oh-ohh! That's so nice, Bruce!

But still no.

As you all know,

we have hired a new head of
marketing, and this is Diane.

Thanks Olof. I was...

And of course, her being here

does not affect my status at all.

I'm still the boss here, so, yeah.

Okay, great, thanks.

It's great to be here.

As Olof said,

I am here to change this bank's image.

So, here's a question for you:

What is the most important thing

about the banking business? Anyone?

No one?

Blondie, what's your name?

- Emma.
- Any idea?

Uh, money?

Money?

No, not money.

It's people.

Banks are about people.

Nobody wants a bunch
of grumpy guys and gals

handling their money.

"Hi, my name is Sven,

"and I'd like to take care of your money

but first, give me a second
to be even more bor-ing."

_

Let's start here. Everybody,
gather 'round here.

Come on. This'll be fun.

All right? Get in, get a little closer.

There we go. Okay. Everybody say,

"cream cheese!"

Cream cheese.

Great!

Okay.

That is step one to changing
the image of this bank.

Now everybody, give me your accounts

and I will tag you all.

Emma?

I don't have one.

How is that even possible?
What do you do with your day?

I work.

Social media is an
important part of work.

You've got to get
your message out there.

Who do you want to be?

Do you want to be cool, exciting Emma

or lame and boring Sven?

_

Bruce, don't take this personally,

it's not you.

It has nothing to do with you.

Although I have to admit
the timing is not great

since you still don't have a job,

or money, or...

I mean, it's not like you're
going to grow any taller.

Yeah, it doesn't feel personal at all.

No, no, it's just our family.

We don't do marriage.
We don't believe in it.

It doesn't mean anything to us.

_

Okay, well it means
something to me, okay?

It's what people do when
they love each other.

You have my permission, Bruce.

Oh, thanks, man.

But that doesn't help me at all.

You know what, technically,

it's only the father's
permission that I need.

So if you could just... give me a...

Plus, you know who's married?

Adolf Hitler.

Josef Fritzl.

George Clooney.

Is this really a club
you want to be part of?

Okay, I think you're being a
little bit ridiculous about this.

Wait, George Clooney?

Also, Emma doesn't believe in marriage.

She hates the concept of marriage.

- Don't you know that?
- It's not true.

Have you ever talked to her about it?

Yes!

I mean, not like...

Not specifically, but there is...

Do you think you're the first guy

who's ever asked her to marry him?

Yeah.

Oh.

Okay, you know what,

this was a mistake.

This is supposed to be just a formality.

Okay?

And you know what? I'm going to ask her.

Just so you know.

Nej men Bruce?

_

_

Yes!

Hey, honey.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

So, what have you been up to?

Nothing special.

Any luck on the job hunt?

Still a limited market for
overly qualified Americans

- who don't speak Swedish.
- Aw-w-w.

Maybe I should just go back
to looking for accounting jobs.

No, we're fine, babe.

I mean, you should do
whatever makes you happy.

If we had more money I
could buy a little happiness.

Oh, we had an American
start at work today.

She took a group photo of
us and posted it online.

Because "banks are about people".

- On the bank's account?
- Yeah.

I've never seen
anything posted on there.

Well, now there is.

Oh my God, have you
seen yourself on this?

You look so bored.

What?

There's tons of comments on here.

Hey, um,

we've actually never
really talked about it,

so, like... what do you...

How... What is your take on marriage?

What's up with all the hearts?

It just means that
people like the photo.

Oh, my God, this is out of control,

there's so many comments.

Look, someone wrote hashtag
"Chairman of the Board".

- That's not so bad.
- No, the "bored",

like B-O-R-E-D.

Oh.

Listen...

So, um, marriage, what is the...

It's not a big thing in Sweden.

We have "sambo" for
people who live together.

"Is she in a coma?"

"Can someone pull the
stick out of her ass?"

What does that even mean?

_

- I know what it means.
- Sorry.

- Oh, my God.
- Thought it was a translation problem...

I can't breathe.

Wow, this has been re-posted,
like, 450 times already.

Is that bad?

No, it's... it's...

It's not a contest. Okay?

So... you're not into weddings, or...?

Swedish weddings are
endless and super expensive.

Why not just take the money
and go to Thailand instead...

Why? Who's getting married?

No one, I guess.

Bruce! What time is it there, midnight?

No, it's 2:00 in the afternoon.

Oh, man, I can never
figure that out. Okay.

So how are you, what's going on?

How is your
way-too-hot-for-you girlfriend?

Good, she's good.

I'm actually thinking
of proposing to her.

Smart move, you know,

if someone's way out of your league

you got to make sure to lock that down.

Yeah, I wouldn't say she's way
out of my league, but, you know.

Anyway, I don't even know
if she wants to get married.

You know to be honest, it doesn't seem

like marriage is such a
big deal here in Sweden.

Yeah, but she's going
to feel differently

once she see's, a...
ling-a ling-a ling-a ling.

The what?

That rocka-docka-docka-docka?

I don't know what you're saying.

The ring, Bruce, the ring,

oh my God, it's slang.

You got to keep up with that, man.

Okay, listen, let me see the ring.

Well I actually haven't bought it yet.

All right, enough about you.

You know how every
city has, like, a guy?

You know when you go to the city,
and the guy shows you around.

Rome has a guy

and he helps you cut
in line at the Vatican.

Who's the guy, the guy I
should talk to in Sweden?

I don't know...

Well, maybe you should be the guy.

'Cause I got a friend,
he's coming on Thursday

and he's going to need a guy.

I don't think I'm
qualified to be the guy.

Yeah, you are! You got
to help me out Bruce.

I already promised him and
now it's out of my hands.

So... so you... you can do it.

It's easy money, you be the guy.

No, I don't want to be the guy.

Okay it's handled then,
great talking to you.

No, no, no, it's not handled!

Oka-a-ay! Peace.

No! I said... I...

Argh.

Hi-i-i.

I think we need to talk.

Um. Did you see all the
comments on that photo?

Yeah, great isn't it?

No, no... It was all about me.

About the Chairman of the Bored.

Yeah, I saw that. It was pretty funny.

It was horrible, you
have to take it down!

Okay. I'll take it down.

I will take down the most
popular and commented-on photo

this bank has ever seen...

Okay, it's erased.

Thank you.

You've got to work with me here, Emma.

I'm in charge of turning
this bank's image around.

It's what I do.

I've turned around the images
of some horrible organizations.

"Oil Lovers of America",

"Fathers Against Mothers Driving"

"The Unibrow Society".

But this, this might
be the toughest one yet.

Okay, I'll take a
picture for the website.

But it's going to be
one that I choose, okay?

Yes!

Eh, Gustaf...

_

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_

_

_

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Just act natural and give us a smile.

Okay, that's just creepy.

Stop it, you're freaking me out.

- What?
- Try again.

Is that seriously your natural look?

I think so.

No, okay. You now what?
Um, up on your feet.

- We got to get the blood flowing.
- What? Okay...

Let's get it shaking,
let's get it shaking...

Oh, okay... _

Let's get it shaking...
And jumping jacks!

Jumping jacks! Jumping jacks!
Jumping jacks! Jumping jacks!

And running man! Running man!
Running man! Running man...

This is so hilar...

Hee! Okay...

All right, give me some
laughter, give me some laughter.

Ho, ho, ho, ho...

Ho, ho, ho, ho...

Ha, ha, ha, ha...

Hee, hee, hee, hee...

All right, okay, try again.

Okay, here we go.

You look exactly the same.

I don't even know how you do that.

Oh my god, maybe I'm
just naturally bored.

_

Ah, yes.

First of all, I have no
idea what you just said.

- Ahh...
- Sorry.

Um, I'm looking to
propose to my girlfriend.

Ah, congratulations.

Yes, thank you.

Um, but I'm confused.

Are these your engagement rings?

Yes, this row right here.

These diamonds seem awfully
small. I'll be honest.

These are Swedish style rings.

The tradition in Sweden
is to have smaller rings.

- Not so big and flashy.
- Okay...

Smaller diamonds.

Yeah... Okay, well, I'm American.

So I'm probably going
to want a big rock.

- Ah, okay.
- Yeah.

I see. I think I know
what you're looking for.

Okay.

Yeah, now we're talking!

Yes, these are... yeah.

How much is this one right here?

That's 200,000 Swedish crowns.

It's about $25,000.

- It's so pretty.
- Hmm...

- So beautiful.
- Yeah.

Um, you said these other ones,

these smaller ones, are
more traditional Swedish?

Well, it's not really tradition...

I don't want to break tradition.

No, no, no, there are plenty of women

who prefer these
American-style rings these days.

Well you know what, I think
we should go with these.

- You think so?
- Yeah.

Just go really traditional.

Honey, I'm home!

Hi.

Hey, how's it going?

It's awful, just awful.

This "Chairman of the
Bored" photo is everywhere.

It's gone viral.

Come on, can't be that bad.

Can't be that bad? Look at this.

Oh my god, you've become a meme.

What? What's that?

Maime... Mei... Mei-me. Meim.

I don't know, it's m-e-m-e.

I don't know how it's pronounced. Meme.

What's a meme?

That.

I have to fix this.

Meme!

But, who cares!

But it just... I just
want you to know what it...

is before you...

_

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_

I want it to look relaxed, okay?

I don't know you're taking this picture.

- I'm surprised. Okay?
- Okay, sure.

So...

Are you... Did you take the picture?

I'm sorry, I missed it. Was it... I...

- Come on, focus.
- I can't, I'm, I...

Okay, I'll count to three. Okay.

- Three.
- One, two, three!

It... I'm... I don't know, I
think I hit the wrong button.

You got to be kidding me!

- I'm sorry. You know...
- Come on.

It's easier if you
just act natural, okay?

That's what I'm doing.

Okay, and we got it.

Okay.

Okay, natural.

More natural...

Way more natural, no,
the opposite of that.

Yep, no, well...

Okay, not like you're
squeezing out a fart.

Come on!

There. I got it!

- Look.
- Oh, that's really good.

I know, it's perfect, right?

- Yeah.
- And now it's done.

And now...

I need you to come with me.

- Why?
- You'll see.

Good news! I'm moving in.

Check it out. Some idiot left

a full bottle of champagne
out in the courtyard.

Let's celebrate!

Is this the surprise?

It's a surprise...

Mmm, this is good.

I think this is really
expensive champagne.

Yes, it is.

Yeah, I was actually thinking
of proposing to Emma tonight.

Tonight? Here?

When I'm around?

Bad idea, Bruce.

You know, sometimes I don't even think

she's want to get married.

All women want to get married.

It's just the way you
ask. You got to go big.

- You think?
- Yeah, I could help.

I got lots of ideas, I'm really
creative. This is my thing.

No, you know what, I don't
need your help on this.

- I insist, Bruce!
- No!

For you letting me stay
here, it's the least I can do.

- No, I don't...
- Bruce, let me think...

Is that you thinking, or...?

- Bungee jump proposal.
- A what?

She's walking down the street, right?

And then you bungee jump
down at the right time.

You come down and
yell, "Will yo-o-ou..."

and then you bounce up

and then you down again: "Marry me-e-e?"

And then bounce up and then down

and then give her the ring. Boom.

Okay, that sounds...

- hard.
- Okay.

Okay, this is you thinking again, or...?

- Flash mob.
- A flash mob?

She's walking down the street.

A bunch of people she
thinks are strangers

start singing and dancing,

and then, bam!

You appear and propose her then. Boom.

That sounds... better, at least.

I like the surprise angle of that.

That might work, actually.

I take that as a
"yes". I call my people.

What people? You have people?

So you know how there's a guy in Rome

that celebrities pay to set
them up and show them around?

Mm-hm.

Well, Amy wants me to
be the guy in Stockholm.

Oh, that's great.

I don't know, I don't
think I can be the guy.

Well, it might be tough
to find nice things to say

about Sweden this time of year.

I mean it's so dark and depressing.

I don't think that's true.

When the light reflects off
the snow, it's really beautiful.

Plus the air is really fresh and clean.

When you breathe in, it's nice...

And I mean, it's not as cold...

Okay, stop it. You're too positive.

Actually, you sound like
a great Stockholm Guy.

Maybe.

Hey, um... Which way do
you walk home from work?

Through Gamla Stan.

Right, and what street is that?

Vaster langgatan. Why?

Oh.

And you go the same
way every day, or...?

You know you don't
have to stalk me, right?

I'm willingly your girlfriend.

I know that. "Stalk me", what...

But serious, you take
the same way every time?

Okay, everybody!

When Emma's entering this street,

you and you starts moving towards her.

You grab her arms when she passes you

and you start singing.

At the same time, Bruce
and the marching band

comes around the corner.

Bruce singing, going
up to Emma, and kneels

and that's when I release the doves.

Wait, doves? We talked about
this, I don't want any doves.

You need to go big, Bruce.

How can you go big if you have no doves?

That's crazy.

Where do you even find doves?

Well, it's not doves.

They were way too expensive.

I just spray-painted some pigeons white.

I don't know if this is a good idea.

Trust me, Bruce. It has to be special.

Do you think you're the first guy

ever to ask her to marry him?

Yes, actually, I do.

Oh.

Target moving.

Target moving.

The chicken is in the basket.

Get ready, everybody!

You got chickens too?

The package is delivered.

What package? I don't
know what you're saying.

- Emma's coming!
- Okay, I am sorry.

Get ready, Emma's coming, you idiot.

No panic!

Don't panic!

♪ Today's your lucky day ♪

♪ Cause someone's here... ♪

_

♪ Last but not least ♪

♪ Comes the man of your dreams ♪

♪ Will you, will you marry me? ♪

♪ WI-i-ill yo-o-ou ♪

♪ Ma-a-arry me ♪

Oh my god, what happened?

What happened?

Where's Emma? Did she say yes?

I don't know, she's not even here!

Maybe they were just trying
to tell you something.

No, I am telling you,
they were trying to grab me

and it was really creepy and weird.

Maybe I should call the police.

No! No, no, no.

You should just... move on. You know?

Pretend like it never happened,

- just turn the page.
- Mm.

I never asked you:

what do you think about marriage?

- Me?
- Yeah.

- I'm... pro.
- Yeah?

I think it's kind of nice, actually.

So you want to get married?

Yeah.

Okay. Let's get married, then.

- Okay.
- I can't wait

to get one of these big,
fat American diamond rings.

Finally having an American
boyfriend pays off.

Yeah.

Are you expecting someone, or...?

- No.
- Okay.

Hey! Heard you were The Guy.

Are you sure you don't want
me to post this picture?

I think you look really beautiful, here.

Aw, that's really sweet.
But, you know what,

I don't think I'm a good
match for social media.

Maybe I should just quit
while I'm... way behind.

- Okay, suit yourself.
- Thank you.

_

Uh, table for two?

Oh, we're fully booked tonight.

Really?

Sorry.

Aw...

Oh my god, it's you!

Chairman of the Bored.

You know what,

I think we can find you a table, okay?

- Daniel!
- Yeah.

Come here. Look at this.

- You see who it is?
- Yeah.

Please, do your face again.

_ _