Weeds (2005–2012): Season 4, Episode 9 - Little Boats - full transcript
In this episode of Weeds, despite their busy schedules, Nancy and Esteban try to find some time for each other. After finding out about Shane's fantasies and Silas's new and much older girlfriend, Nancy also has to talk to both of her sons.
Previously on Weeds:
You are so beautiful.
You are like a mermaid.
Maria Mermex.
We could bring her back
here if we were coyotes.
Hola, welcome to America.
Happy days. Have
you seen this girl?
Moses wasn't half
the coyote I am.
This is what my people ate
as we wandered the desert.
I will lead you now.
You shall be a free people.
How do you know
so much about weed?
I'm fucking a
teenage drug dealer?
Soccer shoe. Soccer
shoe. Soccer shoe.
The preggies keep
coming. We call it football.
Goal.
Whoa. That's your mom.
What? No.
Hi, Mrs. Botwin.
Honey, why are you hiding
Sammy Davis' autobiography
behind your back?
Who's the king of the school?
The most popular, most athletic?
Hey, hi, I'm Dan.
Ooh.
Don't fuck with me.
Are you hungry? I'm starving.
Boss is taking you to lunch.
Yes, you are.
You're bailing on me again.
You should just hang up
now so I can order a pizza.
Ahorita, mi amor.
I apologize, but duty calls.
- What are you, Batman?
- Yes.
Cesar is Alfred.
I'll make it up to you, okay?
Tomorrow.
Do you like lobster?
I have a boat.
This is the third
time you've canceled.
Not canceled, postponed.
And you broke a
date last Tuesday.
Yeah, well, three beats one.
Some girls might take
that the wrong way.
Yeah.
But you're not a girl.
You're a woman.
An incredibly sexy woman
who tastes like white chocolate
when I nibble inside her thigh
and run my tongue
down her perfectly
smooth, slippery...
I'm sorry.
I'm running late. I
really have to go.
You suck. Tomorrow night.
You'll eat lobster
and I will eat you.
Yes, you will.
What's this?
New grow house.
Grow room, actually. You
have a date or something?
No. I'm just... No.
Smells like you have a date.
When did we decide you
were gonna move your plants?
Uh, something kind
of fell into my lap.
Does this something
have anything to do
with your mysterious sleepaways?
You noticed?
I thought you were too
busy not going on dates.
Hey. DOUG: Hey, Nance.
Oh... Oh.
Did you get stood
up again? No, I...
No.
Smells like you
got stood up again.
Perfume and frustration.
But, hey, I'm Sympatico.
I know why the caged
bird sings, Nance. It hurts.
The bird hurts.
I can be back later with
Cheetos and malt balls
if you wanna get high,
listen to my cry tape.
Didn't I tell you to move out?
I'll paint your toenails.
Maybe.
Where exactly is this grow room?
Back of a cheese shop.
Great cover smell.
Hey.
Cash or credit? Credit.
All right. Uh,
that will be, uh...
a hundred and sixty-four
dollars and 17 cents.
You know, we give
discounts for cash.
Oh, I only have,
like, $37 in cash.
Done.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Tell your friends.
Thanks.
System's down.
Cash only.
In this hour, we're
gonna examine
a sense of moral justice.
Everybody knows that sometimes
you feel something is right...
Good morning, buddy. Hey.
Just shaving here.
Taming the whiskers.
Those dirty whiskers.
Go get 'em, champ.
Public education,
cornerstone of democracy.
Huh?
Oh.
The hat.
Oh, buddy.
Oh, no.
So each plant will yield less,
but because I'm packing so many
into such a small space,
the overall harvest goes way up.
The Mr. Botany thing?
It's hot.
Bigger harvest
means bigger bucks.
Which means, I
pay you back faster.
Hm. Maybe we should
get another one of these.
Mm. I got a customer.
I have a boner.
Come on.
You must be Rad's mom.
Yeah. Lisa. Hi.
Hi, I'm Nancy. I'm Silas' mom.
Nancy. Hi, Silas.
What are you doing here?
I wanna make sure you're
not doing anything stupid.
Like trafficking with
the Mexican mafia?
Can I go back there? No.
I would suggest
building a-a fake wall,
something the health
inspector won't mess with.
Also, mature plants
tend to smell a lot more
than moldy blocks of cow,
so you'll need better...
Ventilation. I know.
And don't let him leave
advanced nutrients empties
around or in the trash.
It's a big tip-off.
I know what I'm doing.
You don't know
what you're doing.
You're growing pot with your...
Your girlfriend
in a cheese shop.
I-I won't let anything
happen to him.
Because you know
what you're doing?
Because you're a mom
and you worry about
AMBER Alerts and the Internet
and the Catholic Church?
You're fucking my
17-year-old son.
Mom.
Rad's gonna be 17.
Sooner than you think.
He's a good-looking boy.
There you go.
Do me up.
I sold you an eight
ball yesterday.
Yes, and thank you very much.
So I need another one.
See?
Cash.
No more for you. Excuse me?
You're not good. I'm fine.
You're not fine. I
told you I'm fine.
Not fine.
Give me the fucking blow.
Okay, brace
yourself. Deep breath.
Yes I Can?
You said I was gonna freak out.
I was thinking gun.
Page 96.
You don't think
he's...? Oh, yeah, he's...
Are you sure? He's absolutely.
I'm 100 percent positive he's...
You gotta talk to him.
Uh-uh.
Not this time.
This is way outside
my kink zone.
Shane.
My baby.
Oh. I know.
Silas is fucking Rad's mom.
I know, right?
It's a world gone mad.
He's gonna notice they're gone.
I can't let him...
That's me, he's...
That's me. You're right.
Take the pictures.
Confront the situation.
Mm-hm. Deal with it head-on.
Yep. Fuck.
Or make peace with it.
Let it slide, you know?
Boys will be boys.
You ever do this when you...?
No fucking way. Thank you, God.
My mom was not hot.
Flappy upper
arms, strange moles.
Why couldn't he have had a gun?
Cocaine.
Coca?
All right, wanna fool around?
Si, is Maria.
Please be sure.
I'm very vulnerable
right now. Very sensitive.
Yes, I know her well.
God bless you. Can
you take us to her?
If I feel like it.
Don't tease me,
you crusty whore.
I think she wants you
to grease the wheels.
Oh.
Okay.
Hey, shot of tequila for
the sweet old lady here.
Now can you take me to her? No.
Listen, you cock-juggling
thunder-cunt.
Hey, here we go. I am not...
Thank you.
Come. That way.
I will take you to her.
That's more like it.
I got butterflies, Andy.
Yeah, just be yourself, Doug,
and try not to call
her a thunder-cunt.
Grandma's got wheels.
Hey, we don't run.
We're Americans.
Oh, shit.
It is time to pay.
That's the bad
coyote belt-stealer guy.
The one who tried to rape Reyna
and stab me in the neck.
I pictured him taller.
I will shoot your knee
and shoot your balls.
I will shoot your belly and
feed you to the sewer rats.
Does that mean that I can go?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'm sorry, man.
This is so not cool.
My last meal was a
bowl of chili peanuts.
El Andy, he's a good man.
He has brought much
happiness to our familia
and our friends.
He will not die this day.
You will die.
Okay, okay.
Whoa, whoa.
Hang on here, guys.
The way of El Andy
is the way of peace.
And creature comforts.
Just walk away,
Mr. Coyote, or limp away.
And limp in peace.
We will not harm you.
I just did the whole
peace speech.
That was Hector.
He no speak English.
I completely agree.
She's bat-shit insane.
She's got a good heart.
She fucked up and she's fired,
but let's face it.
We all fucked up, okay?
Kung Pao made me
piss out of my ass.
Could happen to anyone,
but can we just agree
to keep all of our
fuckups to ourselves?
Si?
No Cesar, sí? Okay?
Uh...
Um...
the store.
Please ask him if he'd
like to take anything
from the store for his troubles.
He says that
the store is for ladies who
hate men who made them fat.
Doesn't he have a
wife or a girlfriend?
Somebody he wants to impregnate?
His sister.
Is pregnant by her husband.
Oh. Great.
Okay, well, why
don't you take a bag
and fill it up with some
stuff from the store,
and we forget this
ever happened, okay?
You want me to take care of her?
Yeah. Go ahead. Maybe I'll
wear something fun to her funeral.
Shut up.
I'm taking you home.
Come here. Let's clean
that pretty face of yours.
It's me.
I can't make it tonight.
This is not a
spite cancellation.
I have a very sick
child on my hands.
Tomorrow night?
Please?
No, no, no.
Sweetie?
Uh, sweetie,
um,
I wanna talk to you about, um...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just gonna
throw this out there.
I think it's a little, uh...
I don't wanna say "weird."
Maybe another word for weird
without all the weird
connotations of weird,
like "peculiar," maybe,
or "eccentric."
Or how about "quirky"?
Okay, it's quirky.
It's a little quirky
to masturbate to
pictures of your mother.
To have this sexual
kind of relationship
or connection or hookup
with a stand-in for your mother.
You may think it's okay
because this woman
isn't actually your mother,
because these photographs
don't necessarily look like me
since you know me as
me now, not me as me then,
and according to Freud,
a lot of people wanna
have sex with their mother,
or substitutes for their
mother, and it's normal
in the planning stages,
but it should stop there.
And I realize there's a lot
of hormonal compulsion,
some of it beyond your control,
and it's nothing
terrible or unnatural
or anything we need to
talk about in gory detail...
Because sex...
Sex is good, Freud said, or
Annie Sprinkle maybe said.
Sex is great and you
should have sex safely
with your peers
like Megan or Tara,
or Playboy, or Penthouse,
or Juggs if you're so inclined
to that particular body part.
You should go ahead,
fantasize about having
great sex with these people,
but you should avoid the areas
which include having
great sex with your mother,
or a substitute for your mother.
I mean, things,
you know, happen.
She's blond. She's
got a cheese store.
You hide them in a
Sammy Davis, Jr. biography.
Who's gonna look there?
It happens, but it
shouldn't happen anymore.
And we can swear,
and I do swear...
to never, ever, ever
speak of this again.
Okay, then.
We'll just...
So tell me about this boat.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, no.
Some other time, then. Okay.
Bye.
Mom?
Mom?
Mom, are you shooting heroin?
It's Restylane.
It's for my lips.
That needle was sticking
out of your forehead.
Yeah, it works there too.
Not really.
Yeah.
You need help.
Okay, I'll hold out my
lip and you put it in.
I'm calling Dad.
I'm fine.
Here comes psycho.
Dude, there he is.
I hear he killed his dad.
I think he's Mexican.
Tolan said he made a
necklace out of Dan's teeth.
My brother saw him in gym class.
Huge dick.
You see his limo
and his bodyguard?
Mucho fucked up.
His eyes too. - Yeah.
Look away.
Hey, there.
Do you party?
Yeah, I party.
I mean, you saw
her the other day
and now she's pretty
much losing her shit.
Oh, well, this can't
be easy for her.
You have no idea who
you're talking about.
You know what,
it doesn't matter.
Clock strikes 18 and
I'm done with all of it.
Here you go. Greatest
American hero.
Patch here works at the airport.
Big smokers in baggage.
Could be some nice business.
Bulk discounts and we cater.
Oh, right on.
I want you to know,
I bought a
vaporizer for this shit.
Oh, I'm honored.
Well, you inspire me.
Truly. I might write a poem.
Yeah.
Later.
Bon appetit.
This is totally gonna work.
Sandwiches. Yeah.
Mm.
We should move in together.
Before I say anything,
I just wanna say, this is
completely unexpected.
Uh, coyote-ing has been
a passion project of mine
for a few weeks now,
but I didn't do it alone.
It takes a village
to smuggle a human,
and when I see
myself up on the wall,
I smell the breath of every
sun-stained face I've liberated.
I... It's-it's...
I'm at a loss.
Dos Gatos for everyone.
And dos Dos Gatos
for my friend, Doug.
Thank you.
El Andy.
What is wrong
with your tall friend?
A cloud of sadness
hangs over him.
The man is in love
with a beautiful notion.
Must be nice being El Andy.
Things are awesome for El Andy.
Sucks being El Doug.
Hey, come on, compadre.
We're in Mexico chasing a dream.
When's the last time
you chased a dream?
I'm a sidekick, Andy.
I'm a sad and lonely sidekick.
I'm Andrew Ridgeley.
What? He's the
other guy in Wham!
The guy who doesn't blow
people in public bathrooms.
He had a solo album.
I never bought it, but... I
bought it, Andy. It sucked.
El Andy.
This is the woman your
depressed amigo searches for?
People don't even
talk to sidekicks.
It's like I'm not here.
That's the one, Raul.
We will help the sad, tall,
angry, baby man find her.
Thank you. You're
welcome, El Andy.
Did you forget your
pruning shears?
Lisa and I have, um,
decided to slow things down
and nurture ourselves more.
Replenish our
reserves of oxytocin.
You got anything that
needs to be washed?
No.
Well...
Feel free to raid the
fridge, take the car,
play your music too loud.
Thanks, Mom.
You okay?
You are so beautiful.
You are like a mermaid.
Maria Mermex.
We could bring her back
here if we were coyotes.
Hola, welcome to America.
Happy days. Have
you seen this girl?
Moses wasn't half
the coyote I am.
This is what my people ate
as we wandered the desert.
I will lead you now.
You shall be a free people.
How do you know
so much about weed?
I'm fucking a
teenage drug dealer?
Soccer shoe. Soccer
shoe. Soccer shoe.
The preggies keep
coming. We call it football.
Goal.
Whoa. That's your mom.
What? No.
Hi, Mrs. Botwin.
Honey, why are you hiding
Sammy Davis' autobiography
behind your back?
Who's the king of the school?
The most popular, most athletic?
Hey, hi, I'm Dan.
Ooh.
Don't fuck with me.
Are you hungry? I'm starving.
Boss is taking you to lunch.
Yes, you are.
You're bailing on me again.
You should just hang up
now so I can order a pizza.
Ahorita, mi amor.
I apologize, but duty calls.
- What are you, Batman?
- Yes.
Cesar is Alfred.
I'll make it up to you, okay?
Tomorrow.
Do you like lobster?
I have a boat.
This is the third
time you've canceled.
Not canceled, postponed.
And you broke a
date last Tuesday.
Yeah, well, three beats one.
Some girls might take
that the wrong way.
Yeah.
But you're not a girl.
You're a woman.
An incredibly sexy woman
who tastes like white chocolate
when I nibble inside her thigh
and run my tongue
down her perfectly
smooth, slippery...
I'm sorry.
I'm running late. I
really have to go.
You suck. Tomorrow night.
You'll eat lobster
and I will eat you.
Yes, you will.
What's this?
New grow house.
Grow room, actually. You
have a date or something?
No. I'm just... No.
Smells like you have a date.
When did we decide you
were gonna move your plants?
Uh, something kind
of fell into my lap.
Does this something
have anything to do
with your mysterious sleepaways?
You noticed?
I thought you were too
busy not going on dates.
Hey. DOUG: Hey, Nance.
Oh... Oh.
Did you get stood
up again? No, I...
No.
Smells like you
got stood up again.
Perfume and frustration.
But, hey, I'm Sympatico.
I know why the caged
bird sings, Nance. It hurts.
The bird hurts.
I can be back later with
Cheetos and malt balls
if you wanna get high,
listen to my cry tape.
Didn't I tell you to move out?
I'll paint your toenails.
Maybe.
Where exactly is this grow room?
Back of a cheese shop.
Great cover smell.
Hey.
Cash or credit? Credit.
All right. Uh,
that will be, uh...
a hundred and sixty-four
dollars and 17 cents.
You know, we give
discounts for cash.
Oh, I only have,
like, $37 in cash.
Done.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Tell your friends.
Thanks.
System's down.
Cash only.
In this hour, we're
gonna examine
a sense of moral justice.
Everybody knows that sometimes
you feel something is right...
Good morning, buddy. Hey.
Just shaving here.
Taming the whiskers.
Those dirty whiskers.
Go get 'em, champ.
Public education,
cornerstone of democracy.
Huh?
Oh.
The hat.
Oh, buddy.
Oh, no.
So each plant will yield less,
but because I'm packing so many
into such a small space,
the overall harvest goes way up.
The Mr. Botany thing?
It's hot.
Bigger harvest
means bigger bucks.
Which means, I
pay you back faster.
Hm. Maybe we should
get another one of these.
Mm. I got a customer.
I have a boner.
Come on.
You must be Rad's mom.
Yeah. Lisa. Hi.
Hi, I'm Nancy. I'm Silas' mom.
Nancy. Hi, Silas.
What are you doing here?
I wanna make sure you're
not doing anything stupid.
Like trafficking with
the Mexican mafia?
Can I go back there? No.
I would suggest
building a-a fake wall,
something the health
inspector won't mess with.
Also, mature plants
tend to smell a lot more
than moldy blocks of cow,
so you'll need better...
Ventilation. I know.
And don't let him leave
advanced nutrients empties
around or in the trash.
It's a big tip-off.
I know what I'm doing.
You don't know
what you're doing.
You're growing pot with your...
Your girlfriend
in a cheese shop.
I-I won't let anything
happen to him.
Because you know
what you're doing?
Because you're a mom
and you worry about
AMBER Alerts and the Internet
and the Catholic Church?
You're fucking my
17-year-old son.
Mom.
Rad's gonna be 17.
Sooner than you think.
He's a good-looking boy.
There you go.
Do me up.
I sold you an eight
ball yesterday.
Yes, and thank you very much.
So I need another one.
See?
Cash.
No more for you. Excuse me?
You're not good. I'm fine.
You're not fine. I
told you I'm fine.
Not fine.
Give me the fucking blow.
Okay, brace
yourself. Deep breath.
Yes I Can?
You said I was gonna freak out.
I was thinking gun.
Page 96.
You don't think
he's...? Oh, yeah, he's...
Are you sure? He's absolutely.
I'm 100 percent positive he's...
You gotta talk to him.
Uh-uh.
Not this time.
This is way outside
my kink zone.
Shane.
My baby.
Oh. I know.
Silas is fucking Rad's mom.
I know, right?
It's a world gone mad.
He's gonna notice they're gone.
I can't let him...
That's me, he's...
That's me. You're right.
Take the pictures.
Confront the situation.
Mm-hm. Deal with it head-on.
Yep. Fuck.
Or make peace with it.
Let it slide, you know?
Boys will be boys.
You ever do this when you...?
No fucking way. Thank you, God.
My mom was not hot.
Flappy upper
arms, strange moles.
Why couldn't he have had a gun?
Cocaine.
Coca?
All right, wanna fool around?
Si, is Maria.
Please be sure.
I'm very vulnerable
right now. Very sensitive.
Yes, I know her well.
God bless you. Can
you take us to her?
If I feel like it.
Don't tease me,
you crusty whore.
I think she wants you
to grease the wheels.
Oh.
Okay.
Hey, shot of tequila for
the sweet old lady here.
Now can you take me to her? No.
Listen, you cock-juggling
thunder-cunt.
Hey, here we go. I am not...
Thank you.
Come. That way.
I will take you to her.
That's more like it.
I got butterflies, Andy.
Yeah, just be yourself, Doug,
and try not to call
her a thunder-cunt.
Grandma's got wheels.
Hey, we don't run.
We're Americans.
Oh, shit.
It is time to pay.
That's the bad
coyote belt-stealer guy.
The one who tried to rape Reyna
and stab me in the neck.
I pictured him taller.
I will shoot your knee
and shoot your balls.
I will shoot your belly and
feed you to the sewer rats.
Does that mean that I can go?
Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'm sorry, man.
This is so not cool.
My last meal was a
bowl of chili peanuts.
El Andy, he's a good man.
He has brought much
happiness to our familia
and our friends.
He will not die this day.
You will die.
Okay, okay.
Whoa, whoa.
Hang on here, guys.
The way of El Andy
is the way of peace.
And creature comforts.
Just walk away,
Mr. Coyote, or limp away.
And limp in peace.
We will not harm you.
I just did the whole
peace speech.
That was Hector.
He no speak English.
I completely agree.
She's bat-shit insane.
She's got a good heart.
She fucked up and she's fired,
but let's face it.
We all fucked up, okay?
Kung Pao made me
piss out of my ass.
Could happen to anyone,
but can we just agree
to keep all of our
fuckups to ourselves?
Si?
No Cesar, sí? Okay?
Uh...
Um...
the store.
Please ask him if he'd
like to take anything
from the store for his troubles.
He says that
the store is for ladies who
hate men who made them fat.
Doesn't he have a
wife or a girlfriend?
Somebody he wants to impregnate?
His sister.
Is pregnant by her husband.
Oh. Great.
Okay, well, why
don't you take a bag
and fill it up with some
stuff from the store,
and we forget this
ever happened, okay?
You want me to take care of her?
Yeah. Go ahead. Maybe I'll
wear something fun to her funeral.
Shut up.
I'm taking you home.
Come here. Let's clean
that pretty face of yours.
It's me.
I can't make it tonight.
This is not a
spite cancellation.
I have a very sick
child on my hands.
Tomorrow night?
Please?
No, no, no.
Sweetie?
Uh, sweetie,
um,
I wanna talk to you about, um...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just...
I'm just gonna
throw this out there.
I think it's a little, uh...
I don't wanna say "weird."
Maybe another word for weird
without all the weird
connotations of weird,
like "peculiar," maybe,
or "eccentric."
Or how about "quirky"?
Okay, it's quirky.
It's a little quirky
to masturbate to
pictures of your mother.
To have this sexual
kind of relationship
or connection or hookup
with a stand-in for your mother.
You may think it's okay
because this woman
isn't actually your mother,
because these photographs
don't necessarily look like me
since you know me as
me now, not me as me then,
and according to Freud,
a lot of people wanna
have sex with their mother,
or substitutes for their
mother, and it's normal
in the planning stages,
but it should stop there.
And I realize there's a lot
of hormonal compulsion,
some of it beyond your control,
and it's nothing
terrible or unnatural
or anything we need to
talk about in gory detail...
Because sex...
Sex is good, Freud said, or
Annie Sprinkle maybe said.
Sex is great and you
should have sex safely
with your peers
like Megan or Tara,
or Playboy, or Penthouse,
or Juggs if you're so inclined
to that particular body part.
You should go ahead,
fantasize about having
great sex with these people,
but you should avoid the areas
which include having
great sex with your mother,
or a substitute for your mother.
I mean, things,
you know, happen.
She's blond. She's
got a cheese store.
You hide them in a
Sammy Davis, Jr. biography.
Who's gonna look there?
It happens, but it
shouldn't happen anymore.
And we can swear,
and I do swear...
to never, ever, ever
speak of this again.
Okay, then.
We'll just...
So tell me about this boat.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, no.
Some other time, then. Okay.
Bye.
Mom?
Mom?
Mom, are you shooting heroin?
It's Restylane.
It's for my lips.
That needle was sticking
out of your forehead.
Yeah, it works there too.
Not really.
Yeah.
You need help.
Okay, I'll hold out my
lip and you put it in.
I'm calling Dad.
I'm fine.
Here comes psycho.
Dude, there he is.
I hear he killed his dad.
I think he's Mexican.
Tolan said he made a
necklace out of Dan's teeth.
My brother saw him in gym class.
Huge dick.
You see his limo
and his bodyguard?
Mucho fucked up.
His eyes too. - Yeah.
Look away.
Hey, there.
Do you party?
Yeah, I party.
I mean, you saw
her the other day
and now she's pretty
much losing her shit.
Oh, well, this can't
be easy for her.
You have no idea who
you're talking about.
You know what,
it doesn't matter.
Clock strikes 18 and
I'm done with all of it.
Here you go. Greatest
American hero.
Patch here works at the airport.
Big smokers in baggage.
Could be some nice business.
Bulk discounts and we cater.
Oh, right on.
I want you to know,
I bought a
vaporizer for this shit.
Oh, I'm honored.
Well, you inspire me.
Truly. I might write a poem.
Yeah.
Later.
Bon appetit.
This is totally gonna work.
Sandwiches. Yeah.
Mm.
We should move in together.
Before I say anything,
I just wanna say, this is
completely unexpected.
Uh, coyote-ing has been
a passion project of mine
for a few weeks now,
but I didn't do it alone.
It takes a village
to smuggle a human,
and when I see
myself up on the wall,
I smell the breath of every
sun-stained face I've liberated.
I... It's-it's...
I'm at a loss.
Dos Gatos for everyone.
And dos Dos Gatos
for my friend, Doug.
Thank you.
El Andy.
What is wrong
with your tall friend?
A cloud of sadness
hangs over him.
The man is in love
with a beautiful notion.
Must be nice being El Andy.
Things are awesome for El Andy.
Sucks being El Doug.
Hey, come on, compadre.
We're in Mexico chasing a dream.
When's the last time
you chased a dream?
I'm a sidekick, Andy.
I'm a sad and lonely sidekick.
I'm Andrew Ridgeley.
What? He's the
other guy in Wham!
The guy who doesn't blow
people in public bathrooms.
He had a solo album.
I never bought it, but... I
bought it, Andy. It sucked.
El Andy.
This is the woman your
depressed amigo searches for?
People don't even
talk to sidekicks.
It's like I'm not here.
That's the one, Raul.
We will help the sad, tall,
angry, baby man find her.
Thank you. You're
welcome, El Andy.
Did you forget your
pruning shears?
Lisa and I have, um,
decided to slow things down
and nurture ourselves more.
Replenish our
reserves of oxytocin.
You got anything that
needs to be washed?
No.
Well...
Feel free to raid the
fridge, take the car,
play your music too loud.
Thanks, Mom.
You okay?