Wedding Season (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript
We're looking for two suspects,
Katie McConnell and Stefan Bridges.
I am a wanted fugitive.
The Delaney family aren't what they seems.
To Hugo and Katie!
Lying to your in-laws?
Not a healthy way to start a marriage.
I need to protect my family.
I'm going to need an iron clad pre-nup.
If I was leading a different life...
I would go for this.
We show up to his house,
his entire family have been poisoned,
and he doesn't suspect you at all?
STEFAN: How could that be
if he wasn't in on it himself?
KATIE: This is my world, not yours.
So shut up and do as you're told
because you're useless otherwise.
Useless? Is that what you really think?
Yes. Yes, it is.
(dynamic music playing)
Wait, did you actually think Googling
their whereabouts would be helpful?
I don’t know, okay. Maybe we will.
Maybe like a sighting
in the local paper or something.
Oh! I’ve got something!
No, it just says, "Who is Stefan Bridges,
and what is his net worth and foot size?"
Okay, legally speaking...
is it incriminating that he’s on the run
from the police?
Oh, no, the police love it
when you escape their custody,
then go on the run with a wanted fugitive.
- Okay. Right. So this is really bad.
- Yeah.
- She’s exaggerating.
No, I’m not. If he’s alive,
he’s definitely going to jail.
Whoa, okay. No.
I think if we can get him to come home,
he can explain everything, right?
- But--
- The police are already on it, Suj.
- There’s nothing we can do.
- Bullshit.
Bullshit! We are his friends. Okay?
We know him better than the cops.
Come on.
I mean, there must be something we can do.
You know, I can pull his socials,
catfish him on Hinge,
- whatever it takes. I don't know--
- He’s on the run,
he’s not going to stop
and check his dating...
Actually, yeah, he might be
come to think of it.
Oh, my God.
You guys are being so dramatic.
Stefan’s probably cold and miserable
and Katie’s probably sick of him already.
He’s gonna get this Bonnie and Clyde shit
out of his system
and be back in no time.
He’s totally safe.
(suspenseful music playing)
(panting)
There. That way.
(gunshots)
- Jesus! Katie. Where are we going?
- No idea.
Wait! Idea!
- Go, go, go!
- Come on.
Get on.
- Untie it!
- Okay.
Go!
(boat motor running)
None of this would be happening,
if you’d listened to me
and left Uncle Fred’s when I said.
- We did!
- When I said it the first time!
You know, if you’re not helping,
you’re part of the problem.
- Okay, then, what can I do?
- Not get shot?
Jesus. Shit!
STEFAN: Shit.
Fuck!
(gunshots)
Oh, my God. We are gonna die here.
(gunshots)
- Fuck!
- Katie, we have got a problem.
The engine's been hit.
That's not good. That's not good.
(tires screeching)
If we can make it to the other side,
we can lose them.
If? Okay, great!
KATIE: You know, I’m just responding
to events as they goddamn unfold.
STEFAN: You can’t make
these decisions on your own!
We need to work as a team.
I don't like you right now!
("I've Got You Under My Skin" playing)
(indistinct chattering)
I don’t understand why she would say
she loves Hugo and then kiss me.
None of us understand it either.
Like, why would you have a burger
when you could have steak at home?
Don't call me a burger.
Not every kiss
has to mean something, Stefan.
I’m not necessarily saying
I want her to be my girlfriend.
No, you just swapped your shifts
and RSVP-ed last minute as soon you heard
Katie was coming
because you fancied a chat.
Actually, I don't think I did RSVP.
So Zach and Conor have no idea
that you’re coming to their wedding?
Great.
SUJI: I get it.
Stef's just looking for some closure.
Exactly! I just want to know
what’s going on.
We have this amazing chemistry together
and then I see her with Hugo
and it's like she’s different person,
she's not herself.
Stefan, you’ve met her twice.
Yes, but I have a 100 percent record
of making out with her those two times.
Okay, yeah. You are right.
I mean, there must be something going on.
She can’t really be in love with Hugo
if she’s making out with Stefan
- on the night of her engagement party.
- Thank you!
- Alright?
- Or...
she might recognize
that love is a limitless resource
and you can be in love
with more than one person at one time.
(indistinct chattering)
STEFAN:
I just need to know which Katie is real,
the one she is with Hugo
or the one she is with me.
Okay. Promise me,
this is the last wedding we go to
where you’ll be moping over some girl,
we’re supposed to be having fun.
How’s planning going?
I know everyone talks about the strain
it puts on relationships
but Leila and I have been having more
s-e-x than when we first met even.
(Anil and Suji groan)
STEFAN: There she is.
Please try not to make a dick of yourself.
Same goes to you, pal.
This is your ex’s wedding. Okay?
Zach is a very nice person,
but I don’t think
that two months of mediocre head
and increasingly strained conversation
qualifies him as an ex.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
But still, though. It could have been you.
(piano music playing)
- Hey...
- Hey, stranger.
- How are you?
- Hey.
Twenty quid he proposes to her by sundown.
Mm.
(Katie laughs)
(glasses clink)
Hi.
(suspenseful music playing)
(indistinct chattering)
- Interesting.
- What?
Their body language suggests
they’re not often out together.
Hugo doesn’t know where to put his hands. Look.
He keeps glancing at her
for reassurance, right?
Why don't they go out together?
- Maybe because they’re not in love?
- Maybe.
Look, look...
Katie’s closing her body off.
Oh! She looks uncomfortable.
- How do you know all this?
- YouTube.
Shit. Isopraxis.
- Iso-what-now?
- They’re mirroring each other.
What does that mean?
(Katie laughs)
That laugh seemed genuine.
Yeah, but she’s laughing at him, right,
not with him? Because of his... Right?
No. I'm sorry, mate.
- Okay, yeah.
- That was...
I'm gonna take a closer look.
Thank you, though.
Hey. Have you seen Anil?
- I might need to have sex with him.
- Why would you tell me that?
I worked out it’s the only way
to distract him
from wedding-planning stuff.
Every time he tries to show me
floral arrangements, wham!
I sit on his face. Metaphorically.
Sometimes literally.
- So you'll call, right?
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
I’ve got to go.
- Sorry.
- Oh, my God.
- That flash’s quite strong.
- I'm fine.
- Jackson.
- Hey...
How you doing?
Why?
Just because, you know, it's weird
that this could have all been with you.
- I see you’ve met Stefan.
- Sort of.
And this is our friend Suji.
Suji, meet Jess.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Can I...
- Come here.
Do you know the guy she’s talking to?
Zach’s Dad. He is a piece of work.
Zach wasn’t out to him
when we were together.
Sounds like he blew up
when Zach told him about Conor.
Didn’t think he’d come.
- Why’s he talking to Katie?
- Oh, that's because, this is a...
this is a wedding...
And sometimes people at weddings,
they talk to each other
rather than just stare at them.
And she probably knows him
because he’s the Delaney family lawyer.
That’s why all the Delaneys are here.
Fine. Let's go watch your ex get married.
Okay.
SUJI: Okay.
(tense music playing)
(boat motor rumbling)
Now what?
Well, we keep moving.
We have a head start
but it won’t last forever.
We need to catch a ride.
I’m sure that’ll be easy to find.
Of course, I can take you.
I’ve just ordered a fish supper,
so I might have an eat and a shite,
and then we can hit the road.
I’ll come find you.
STEFAN: Well, we are safe for a bit.
Let's eat before we collapse.
(Katie playfully exclaims)
KATIE: Yo!
(giggles playfully)
(speaks gibberish)
Ah!
KATIE: Still mad about earlier?
Do you blame me?
(scoffs)
I’m risking my career, my friendships,
my actual life for you
and you think I’m a waste of space.
- I never said that.
- What do you think "useless" means?
(sighs)
I just...
I don’t need to hear
what you think all the time!
Okay...
I’m usually on my own.
It's hard for me to trust people.
I got soft on Uncle Fred.
Look what happened.
You need to trust me
or I can’t be in this.
I’m not just your cargo.
We are in this together now.
And you know what my job is.
It’s not like I’m not useful
in stressful situations.
Okay. This isn’t, like, giving a Band-Aid
to a kid for his ouchie boo-boo.
This is, like, serious shit.
- This is real shit now.
- What do you think I do?
(laughs scornfully)
- Okay.
- Oh, don’t do that.
Don't be so dramatic.
You know, all those times you try
to warn me off you and I wouldn’t listen?
You were right.
You do work best on your own.
That’s because you’re fucking awful
to be around.
(tense music playing)
That’s probably not
what he thought he was getting
when he asked for a milk and two.
-'Cause of the two bullet--
- Yeah, I got it.
This is deranged.
I mean, why would she kill
the last remaining Delaney?
Because, like I said...
she’s psychotic.
It’s so brazen.
And the bullet wounds?
It doesn’t fit her profile.
Well, let’s focus on finding her.
You can question her
about her motives then.
I can’t help but feel
a wee bit responsible for this.
Terry, you’re entirely
fucking responsible for this.
- I think I may have found a lead, though.
- Alright.
- A lead, is it, Terry?
- Go on then.
There’s a buoy moored there,
where a fishing boat would be.
But no boat.
There’s another jetty
on the other side of the lake,
- motorway’s not far from that.
- Is that right?
Nice one, Terry.
("I've Got You Under My Skin" playing)
That's the fuckin' standard, Terry.
(birds squawking)
We’re gathered here today
to witness the joyous union
of Zachary Sharpe and Conor Briggstock.
Why would she be trying to talk
to that lawyer?
She's probably just making small talk.
STEFAN:
He doesn’t even look like a lawyer.
He looks like he’s going to try
and kill Liam Neeson.
- Shh! Shut the fuck up.
- Both the grooms felt it was important
to pay homage
to the people who cannot be with us today.
Zach was very close with his mother
and I’m sure
- she would have loved to be here.
- No, she wouldn't.
What was that?
- Don't--
- No, I want to know.
Oh, my God.
I don’t know if your mother
would have loved to be here.
Don’t bring her into it.
Why did you even come
if you were going to make a scene?
- I didn’t wanna come here.
- Then, go.
Go on.
Get up... and leave.
Are you okay?
Kiss!
(crowd laughs)
(crowd cheering)
I'm gonna use the room.
And if there are any more homophobes here,
you can just leave now.
Otherwise we can get on
the rest of the service.
Sit back down. What are you doing?
Well, I hope that puts your nonsense
into perspective, Stefan.
I think whatever’s going on
between Katie and Hugo
has something to do with that lawyer guy.
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, Suji’s on my side.
- No.
- Maybe I should talk to Hugo.
- Do some digging.
- Oh, okay.
You know what could stop you
obsessing over Katie?
Jess! She’s amazing,
you should ask her out.
I really don’t think Stefan
is Jess’s type.
We'll have another one later, yeah?
Hey, Hugo...
- Hi.
- Stefan.
Huh.
Mushy, I was just talking
to that couple over there
about the Shih Tzu
With A Pearl Earring piece,
they seemed really interested.
- Really? Nice.
- Really.
I’ll go and seal the deal, then.
- Excuse me.
- Go get him.
Oh...
- What are you doing?
- I was just
- talking to him.
- Stop it.
- And stop following me.
- I'm not.
(scoffs)
I’m just trying to figure out
what’s going on with you two.
Hmm.
You’re different when you’re around him.
People are different
around different people.
Not like this.
I don’t think you in love with him.
(indistinct chattering)
(Katie sighs)
(sighs)
You know, I’m really sorry
if I confused you last time,
but I am serious about Hugo.
We belong together.
You need to let this go.
Enjoy the party.
("You Always Hurt The One You Love"
by The Mills Brothers playing)
- I don't know about that.
- What is that?
What is that? Try that.
- No, no. This hotel’s really strange.
- Try it for me.
I cannot remember the last time
I stayed somewhere
that didn’t have an infinity pool.
They might as well have served us
sandwiches from a petrol station.
I don't know.
The dessert’s been quite nice.
How’s that pre-nup coming along?
(chuckles)
I’ve come to genuinely like you, Catherine,
but I will have no hesitation
in calling everything off
if I don’t get your signature
on that thing.
- You are okay?
- Mm-hm.
These place settings are beautiful.
Okay. Come on.
What? Again?
I’m going to get a UTI at this rate,
you have to help me.
I’m glad to know
my reputation precedes me.
Yeah, Zach said you were amazing.
He was correct.
(laughs)
It sounds like
if you’d played your cards better,
all of this could have been with you.
Hey, gatecrasher. Yeah.
Luckily for you, Great Aunt Margaret
couldn’t finish her potato salad.
Thank you.
Yep.
It doesn’t make any sense.
SUJI: It doesn't matter, okay?
Whatever she’s got going on,
don't get mixed up in it.
Trust.
Now you were so busy tailing Katie today,
you missed out on a chance
with the most amazing girl here!
- You are right.
- Yeah.
- I should apologize to Katie.
- That's not why.
(Stefan sighs)
Hugo and Katie don't seem
to have chemistry, but...
I'm sure she’s got her reasons
for being with him.
I shouldn’t have come here
and try to wreck that.
(cutlery clatters)
Speaking of chemistry,
I think maybe you might
wanna have your picture taken?
What?
(laughs)
- It comes and goes, you know?
- Yeah.
Thank you very much, indeed.
Can we get the '75?
Yeah. Could... No, the '75.
(suspenseful music playing)
(exhales)
(birds chirping)
(tense music playing)
Shit.
Fuck.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
(Katie grunts)
(Katie grunts)
(clattering)
(grunts)
(grunts)
(groans)
(grunting)
You fucker.
No.
No!
No!
What the fuck, man? Come on!
You motherfuckers!
Help!
Let me out, you motherfuckers!
Help! I’m being kidnapped!
I’m so gonna fucking kill you!
STEFAN: Yeah. Please don’t.
- Stefan?
- Hi.
What the fuck?
They left the keys in the ignition.
Well, go. Go, go, go.
They're gonna catch us.
Yeah, I'm not sure about that.
They left all their keys.
(guffaws)
(laughs)
- So hot.
- Sorry, what?
You came back for me.
You are so getting laid tonight.
(both snickering)
You are so confusing.
(tense music playing)
(panting)
VICTOR: Where are we going?
The door is to the right.
(Katie grunts)
Katie?
- Get out!
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to get into this laptop.
- What for?
- None of your biz.
- None of my biz?
Look, I don't have a lot of time
so just trust me.
Trust you? You are sitting on top
of an unconscious man right now.
Look, I know what this looks like.
But I am one of the good guys.
I swear.
Okay. Get the laptop off his face. Jesus.
What did you give him?
He’s fine. We gotta to do this quickly
before someone tries to find him.
I'm sorry, we?
(piano music playing)
(indistinct chattering)
So the guy I was trying
to set you up with said
you nearly socked him in the face
when he made a joke
about us getting married, was that...
Uh... Yeah. Shit. Yeah.
I think I was getting sick of people
comparing me to your fiancé all day.
Ah.
He’s way better for you than I ever was.
I’d never have had the balls to stand up
to your Dad like that.
Are you alright?
I don't know.
I thought Dad could suck it up
for one day at least.
You know, we almost
weren’t going to invite him.
But I just really wanted him to be here.
You should tell him that.
Seriously.
You risked him making
a scene at your wedding
because you love him that much.
Yeah.
Thanks, mate.
I’m gonna go find him.
(indistinct chattering)
(tense music playing)
Would you please hold his eyelids open?
He’s got one of these Face Lock thingies.
I think, that’s why it’s not working.
No, I'm not doing.
I am not holding his eyes open. No.
Fuck that. So pathetic.
Be careful with him, please. Oh, my God.
Okay. Be quite.
- Katie...
- Come on, big boy.
what does a lawyer need a gun for?
Yes. I'm in.
(knocks on door)
Dad?
Dad? Can we talk?
(groans)
Dad?
Dad, are you alright?
Zach...
I...
(exhales)
I must have had a nap. I...
VICTOR: I'm glad you are here.
Where is my laptop?
Oh, God. They can come here at any second.
I need to show you something.
It's on the table.
It's not, Dad.
Where is it?
Someone’s taken it.
Okay. They are coming.
No, something is not right.
Dad, please just stop.
I wrote you a speech.
I...
For today. I got stuck halfway through
but it’s written on my laptop.
- VICTOR: I wanted to show it to you.
- ZACH: You wrote a speech?
Okay. Done.
What, to go into more detail about
how Mom would have hated my wedding?
Of course she would have loved it.
Okay.
Wait, what do we do now?
- Fuck it.
- No, no.
Katie.
(music intensifies)
Katie, no.
(dynamic music playing)
Wait.
I'm an old man... who has lost his wife.
Now I feel like I'm losing my son.
Oh, yes! What a fantastic idea!
I will check my room.
Oh, wait a minute, I’ve just done that,
and it's not bloody in there.
Well, it didn’t grow arms and legs
and sail off to France, Bruce.
It's a vape pen.
- Well, it sounds like an excuse.
- Okay.
Shimmy.
- Shimmy?
- Shimmy.
Oh, there it is!
(shower running)
(both laugh)
THE BRUISER:
I haven't seen Katie and Hugo.
It’s like babysitting
a toddler or something.
A really minted toddler.
(breathing heavily)
(dynamic music playing)
(sighs)
The waiter said he hadn’t seen anything.
Seemed shit-scared to me.
And there’s no CCTV.
So, what the fuck happened here?
Shit.
Dutch courage?
Yeah, well, I thought it’d be easier
to explain it to the Superintendent
if I was a bit pissed.
Hey, you are one of his best.
Hey, you will be okay.
Yeah. Well, it won't be.
The bad guys got away.
(upbeat music playing)
What?
This is Sunbeam FM, okay?
It's nothing but bangers.
Hey, that was...
That was really good back there.
You and me.
- Us.
- Yeah.
It was.
(Katie clears throat)
But they will find us, eventually.
So unless there’s something in this van
that can tell us who these assholes are
or why they’re after us,
we're dead.
Well, I can’t tell you who they are.
But I can tell you where they work.
Destination, work, Kane street Alaska.
Oh, look at you.
- I'm very impressed.
- Thank you.
Hey, I should have listened
to you about Fred.
I’m just so used to doing everything
on my own.
But it’s been really nice
having you on my team.
And this is...
the closest I will ever get
to admitting I was wrong, so I hope...
♪ You fucking cherish this moment ♪
I will. I really will.
Hey, sorry. Is there just something here?
Just around this area...
Oh, yeah. I...
I see it. I don't think it's something
you should be worried about.
Okey dokey!
I was right!
I knew you didn't really love Hugo.
Is he... Is he part of your cover?
Are you, like, MI5?
CIA?
UNSA?
(sucks teeth)
I can’t tell you anything about
what I’m doing.
Or you’ll have to kill me?
Will you? No...
Okay. Come on. You can tell me.
I could help.
- I kind of did today.
- No, you didn't.
You almost ruined everything.
I can’t have a partner in this.
It’s too dangerous.
- Yeah. But you know, I thought...
- And I'm getting married.
I can't do this anymore.
But, you know what I can do...
is a friendship.
What do you say?
Friends?
Okay, pal.
Good.
(door opens)
VICTOR: And I hope you all join me
in raising your glasses
to the happy couple.
(cheering)
("You Do Something to Me" playing)
- Hi. Yeah.
- Hey. You alright?
Listen, I heard Dad talking to you
about the pre-nup.
- I can talk to him if you want to, I--
- Listen...
- I know he’s just trying to protect you.
- Okay.
I will sign it.
First thing in the morning.
- Alright?
- Alright.
Alright.
See? They threw confetti
but rice is way more traditional,
and biodegradable.
But then, if we go for rice,
pigeons could eat it and explode.
And maybe you’ll get bird blood
on your dress!
And red does not go
with our color scheme--
Anil, I can’t have sex again.
You need to plan this wedding on your own.
- What?
- I just think it's the best thing for us.
Because I don’t really mind about
any of that stuff and you clearly do.
So just...
Go crazy. I just cannot hear about it.
Okay?
Yeah.
You really want to spend the rest
of your life bickering about everything?
All this commitment stuff is a trap.
You’re always so desperate
to be with someone,
you never really take the time
to get to know yourself.
I know myself.
I’m just honest
about not wanting to be alone.
I just...
I don’t want to be the random drunk guy
in the corner of every wedding
10 years from now.
(singing "You Do Something to Me")
(indistinct chattering)
So I guess this place must be a front.
It's a weird place to be a front,
a nightclub.
Like, distracting.
What are we supposed to be looking for?
God. This is so stupid.
If somebody spots us...
I feel weirdly calm. Like...
if we can get through today,
we can get through anything.
We’re kind of amazing together.
(pop song playing)
RADIO DJ: Next up "Call Me Maybe"
by Carly Rae Jepsen
dedicated to someone I hear
is a big fan of the show... Stefan!
Whose friend Leila says, "Hey, buddy,
we know you’re on the run
but please get in touch
and let us know that you’re okay."
(laughs)
Glad to hear you tune in to Sunbeam Radio
when you’re out for a jog, Stefan.
Here’s to all
my long distance runners out there!
("Call Me Maybe"
by Carly Rae Jepsen playing)
LEILA: Hello? Stefan?
Stefan, is that you?
Oh, my God.
Where are you? We are desperate.
(music stops)
Yeah. We will, sir.
Alright, sir.
Yeah. Got it.
How’d he take it?
Yeah. He’s not happy
with our handling of the case.
That’s paraphrasing
with about 11 fewer c-words.
- Right.
- I say we get to bed,
- attack it fresh in the morning.
- Sounds good.
Can I get two rooms please?
Sorry, he means one.
- One room?
- Yeah.
("I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire"
by The Ink Spots playing)
- Who are you?
- I could ask you the same question.
Aren’t you going to introduce us?
Alright then.
My name is Conrad.
And I’m her husband.
Katie McConnell and Stefan Bridges.
I am a wanted fugitive.
The Delaney family aren't what they seems.
To Hugo and Katie!
Lying to your in-laws?
Not a healthy way to start a marriage.
I need to protect my family.
I'm going to need an iron clad pre-nup.
If I was leading a different life...
I would go for this.
We show up to his house,
his entire family have been poisoned,
and he doesn't suspect you at all?
STEFAN: How could that be
if he wasn't in on it himself?
KATIE: This is my world, not yours.
So shut up and do as you're told
because you're useless otherwise.
Useless? Is that what you really think?
Yes. Yes, it is.
(dynamic music playing)
Wait, did you actually think Googling
their whereabouts would be helpful?
I don’t know, okay. Maybe we will.
Maybe like a sighting
in the local paper or something.
Oh! I’ve got something!
No, it just says, "Who is Stefan Bridges,
and what is his net worth and foot size?"
Okay, legally speaking...
is it incriminating that he’s on the run
from the police?
Oh, no, the police love it
when you escape their custody,
then go on the run with a wanted fugitive.
- Okay. Right. So this is really bad.
- Yeah.
- She’s exaggerating.
No, I’m not. If he’s alive,
he’s definitely going to jail.
Whoa, okay. No.
I think if we can get him to come home,
he can explain everything, right?
- But--
- The police are already on it, Suj.
- There’s nothing we can do.
- Bullshit.
Bullshit! We are his friends. Okay?
We know him better than the cops.
Come on.
I mean, there must be something we can do.
You know, I can pull his socials,
catfish him on Hinge,
- whatever it takes. I don't know--
- He’s on the run,
he’s not going to stop
and check his dating...
Actually, yeah, he might be
come to think of it.
Oh, my God.
You guys are being so dramatic.
Stefan’s probably cold and miserable
and Katie’s probably sick of him already.
He’s gonna get this Bonnie and Clyde shit
out of his system
and be back in no time.
He’s totally safe.
(suspenseful music playing)
(panting)
There. That way.
(gunshots)
- Jesus! Katie. Where are we going?
- No idea.
Wait! Idea!
- Go, go, go!
- Come on.
Get on.
- Untie it!
- Okay.
Go!
(boat motor running)
None of this would be happening,
if you’d listened to me
and left Uncle Fred’s when I said.
- We did!
- When I said it the first time!
You know, if you’re not helping,
you’re part of the problem.
- Okay, then, what can I do?
- Not get shot?
Jesus. Shit!
STEFAN: Shit.
Fuck!
(gunshots)
Oh, my God. We are gonna die here.
(gunshots)
- Fuck!
- Katie, we have got a problem.
The engine's been hit.
That's not good. That's not good.
(tires screeching)
If we can make it to the other side,
we can lose them.
If? Okay, great!
KATIE: You know, I’m just responding
to events as they goddamn unfold.
STEFAN: You can’t make
these decisions on your own!
We need to work as a team.
I don't like you right now!
("I've Got You Under My Skin" playing)
(indistinct chattering)
I don’t understand why she would say
she loves Hugo and then kiss me.
None of us understand it either.
Like, why would you have a burger
when you could have steak at home?
Don't call me a burger.
Not every kiss
has to mean something, Stefan.
I’m not necessarily saying
I want her to be my girlfriend.
No, you just swapped your shifts
and RSVP-ed last minute as soon you heard
Katie was coming
because you fancied a chat.
Actually, I don't think I did RSVP.
So Zach and Conor have no idea
that you’re coming to their wedding?
Great.
SUJI: I get it.
Stef's just looking for some closure.
Exactly! I just want to know
what’s going on.
We have this amazing chemistry together
and then I see her with Hugo
and it's like she’s different person,
she's not herself.
Stefan, you’ve met her twice.
Yes, but I have a 100 percent record
of making out with her those two times.
Okay, yeah. You are right.
I mean, there must be something going on.
She can’t really be in love with Hugo
if she’s making out with Stefan
- on the night of her engagement party.
- Thank you!
- Alright?
- Or...
she might recognize
that love is a limitless resource
and you can be in love
with more than one person at one time.
(indistinct chattering)
STEFAN:
I just need to know which Katie is real,
the one she is with Hugo
or the one she is with me.
Okay. Promise me,
this is the last wedding we go to
where you’ll be moping over some girl,
we’re supposed to be having fun.
How’s planning going?
I know everyone talks about the strain
it puts on relationships
but Leila and I have been having more
s-e-x than when we first met even.
(Anil and Suji groan)
STEFAN: There she is.
Please try not to make a dick of yourself.
Same goes to you, pal.
This is your ex’s wedding. Okay?
Zach is a very nice person,
but I don’t think
that two months of mediocre head
and increasingly strained conversation
qualifies him as an ex.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
But still, though. It could have been you.
(piano music playing)
- Hey...
- Hey, stranger.
- How are you?
- Hey.
Twenty quid he proposes to her by sundown.
Mm.
(Katie laughs)
(glasses clink)
Hi.
(suspenseful music playing)
(indistinct chattering)
- Interesting.
- What?
Their body language suggests
they’re not often out together.
Hugo doesn’t know where to put his hands. Look.
He keeps glancing at her
for reassurance, right?
Why don't they go out together?
- Maybe because they’re not in love?
- Maybe.
Look, look...
Katie’s closing her body off.
Oh! She looks uncomfortable.
- How do you know all this?
- YouTube.
Shit. Isopraxis.
- Iso-what-now?
- They’re mirroring each other.
What does that mean?
(Katie laughs)
That laugh seemed genuine.
Yeah, but she’s laughing at him, right,
not with him? Because of his... Right?
No. I'm sorry, mate.
- Okay, yeah.
- That was...
I'm gonna take a closer look.
Thank you, though.
Hey. Have you seen Anil?
- I might need to have sex with him.
- Why would you tell me that?
I worked out it’s the only way
to distract him
from wedding-planning stuff.
Every time he tries to show me
floral arrangements, wham!
I sit on his face. Metaphorically.
Sometimes literally.
- So you'll call, right?
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
I’ve got to go.
- Sorry.
- Oh, my God.
- That flash’s quite strong.
- I'm fine.
- Jackson.
- Hey...
How you doing?
Why?
Just because, you know, it's weird
that this could have all been with you.
- I see you’ve met Stefan.
- Sort of.
And this is our friend Suji.
Suji, meet Jess.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Can I...
- Come here.
Do you know the guy she’s talking to?
Zach’s Dad. He is a piece of work.
Zach wasn’t out to him
when we were together.
Sounds like he blew up
when Zach told him about Conor.
Didn’t think he’d come.
- Why’s he talking to Katie?
- Oh, that's because, this is a...
this is a wedding...
And sometimes people at weddings,
they talk to each other
rather than just stare at them.
And she probably knows him
because he’s the Delaney family lawyer.
That’s why all the Delaneys are here.
Fine. Let's go watch your ex get married.
Okay.
SUJI: Okay.
(tense music playing)
(boat motor rumbling)
Now what?
Well, we keep moving.
We have a head start
but it won’t last forever.
We need to catch a ride.
I’m sure that’ll be easy to find.
Of course, I can take you.
I’ve just ordered a fish supper,
so I might have an eat and a shite,
and then we can hit the road.
I’ll come find you.
STEFAN: Well, we are safe for a bit.
Let's eat before we collapse.
(Katie playfully exclaims)
KATIE: Yo!
(giggles playfully)
(speaks gibberish)
Ah!
KATIE: Still mad about earlier?
Do you blame me?
(scoffs)
I’m risking my career, my friendships,
my actual life for you
and you think I’m a waste of space.
- I never said that.
- What do you think "useless" means?
(sighs)
I just...
I don’t need to hear
what you think all the time!
Okay...
I’m usually on my own.
It's hard for me to trust people.
I got soft on Uncle Fred.
Look what happened.
You need to trust me
or I can’t be in this.
I’m not just your cargo.
We are in this together now.
And you know what my job is.
It’s not like I’m not useful
in stressful situations.
Okay. This isn’t, like, giving a Band-Aid
to a kid for his ouchie boo-boo.
This is, like, serious shit.
- This is real shit now.
- What do you think I do?
(laughs scornfully)
- Okay.
- Oh, don’t do that.
Don't be so dramatic.
You know, all those times you try
to warn me off you and I wouldn’t listen?
You were right.
You do work best on your own.
That’s because you’re fucking awful
to be around.
(tense music playing)
That’s probably not
what he thought he was getting
when he asked for a milk and two.
-'Cause of the two bullet--
- Yeah, I got it.
This is deranged.
I mean, why would she kill
the last remaining Delaney?
Because, like I said...
she’s psychotic.
It’s so brazen.
And the bullet wounds?
It doesn’t fit her profile.
Well, let’s focus on finding her.
You can question her
about her motives then.
I can’t help but feel
a wee bit responsible for this.
Terry, you’re entirely
fucking responsible for this.
- I think I may have found a lead, though.
- Alright.
- A lead, is it, Terry?
- Go on then.
There’s a buoy moored there,
where a fishing boat would be.
But no boat.
There’s another jetty
on the other side of the lake,
- motorway’s not far from that.
- Is that right?
Nice one, Terry.
("I've Got You Under My Skin" playing)
That's the fuckin' standard, Terry.
(birds squawking)
We’re gathered here today
to witness the joyous union
of Zachary Sharpe and Conor Briggstock.
Why would she be trying to talk
to that lawyer?
She's probably just making small talk.
STEFAN:
He doesn’t even look like a lawyer.
He looks like he’s going to try
and kill Liam Neeson.
- Shh! Shut the fuck up.
- Both the grooms felt it was important
to pay homage
to the people who cannot be with us today.
Zach was very close with his mother
and I’m sure
- she would have loved to be here.
- No, she wouldn't.
What was that?
- Don't--
- No, I want to know.
Oh, my God.
I don’t know if your mother
would have loved to be here.
Don’t bring her into it.
Why did you even come
if you were going to make a scene?
- I didn’t wanna come here.
- Then, go.
Go on.
Get up... and leave.
Are you okay?
Kiss!
(crowd laughs)
(crowd cheering)
I'm gonna use the room.
And if there are any more homophobes here,
you can just leave now.
Otherwise we can get on
the rest of the service.
Sit back down. What are you doing?
Well, I hope that puts your nonsense
into perspective, Stefan.
I think whatever’s going on
between Katie and Hugo
has something to do with that lawyer guy.
- Oh, my God.
- Hey, Suji’s on my side.
- No.
- Maybe I should talk to Hugo.
- Do some digging.
- Oh, okay.
You know what could stop you
obsessing over Katie?
Jess! She’s amazing,
you should ask her out.
I really don’t think Stefan
is Jess’s type.
We'll have another one later, yeah?
Hey, Hugo...
- Hi.
- Stefan.
Huh.
Mushy, I was just talking
to that couple over there
about the Shih Tzu
With A Pearl Earring piece,
they seemed really interested.
- Really? Nice.
- Really.
I’ll go and seal the deal, then.
- Excuse me.
- Go get him.
Oh...
- What are you doing?
- I was just
- talking to him.
- Stop it.
- And stop following me.
- I'm not.
(scoffs)
I’m just trying to figure out
what’s going on with you two.
Hmm.
You’re different when you’re around him.
People are different
around different people.
Not like this.
I don’t think you in love with him.
(indistinct chattering)
(Katie sighs)
(sighs)
You know, I’m really sorry
if I confused you last time,
but I am serious about Hugo.
We belong together.
You need to let this go.
Enjoy the party.
("You Always Hurt The One You Love"
by The Mills Brothers playing)
- I don't know about that.
- What is that?
What is that? Try that.
- No, no. This hotel’s really strange.
- Try it for me.
I cannot remember the last time
I stayed somewhere
that didn’t have an infinity pool.
They might as well have served us
sandwiches from a petrol station.
I don't know.
The dessert’s been quite nice.
How’s that pre-nup coming along?
(chuckles)
I’ve come to genuinely like you, Catherine,
but I will have no hesitation
in calling everything off
if I don’t get your signature
on that thing.
- You are okay?
- Mm-hm.
These place settings are beautiful.
Okay. Come on.
What? Again?
I’m going to get a UTI at this rate,
you have to help me.
I’m glad to know
my reputation precedes me.
Yeah, Zach said you were amazing.
He was correct.
(laughs)
It sounds like
if you’d played your cards better,
all of this could have been with you.
Hey, gatecrasher. Yeah.
Luckily for you, Great Aunt Margaret
couldn’t finish her potato salad.
Thank you.
Yep.
It doesn’t make any sense.
SUJI: It doesn't matter, okay?
Whatever she’s got going on,
don't get mixed up in it.
Trust.
Now you were so busy tailing Katie today,
you missed out on a chance
with the most amazing girl here!
- You are right.
- Yeah.
- I should apologize to Katie.
- That's not why.
(Stefan sighs)
Hugo and Katie don't seem
to have chemistry, but...
I'm sure she’s got her reasons
for being with him.
I shouldn’t have come here
and try to wreck that.
(cutlery clatters)
Speaking of chemistry,
I think maybe you might
wanna have your picture taken?
What?
(laughs)
- It comes and goes, you know?
- Yeah.
Thank you very much, indeed.
Can we get the '75?
Yeah. Could... No, the '75.
(suspenseful music playing)
(exhales)
(birds chirping)
(tense music playing)
Shit.
Fuck.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
(Katie grunts)
(Katie grunts)
(clattering)
(grunts)
(grunts)
(groans)
(grunting)
You fucker.
No.
No!
No!
What the fuck, man? Come on!
You motherfuckers!
Help!
Let me out, you motherfuckers!
Help! I’m being kidnapped!
I’m so gonna fucking kill you!
STEFAN: Yeah. Please don’t.
- Stefan?
- Hi.
What the fuck?
They left the keys in the ignition.
Well, go. Go, go, go.
They're gonna catch us.
Yeah, I'm not sure about that.
They left all their keys.
(guffaws)
(laughs)
- So hot.
- Sorry, what?
You came back for me.
You are so getting laid tonight.
(both snickering)
You are so confusing.
(tense music playing)
(panting)
VICTOR: Where are we going?
The door is to the right.
(Katie grunts)
Katie?
- Get out!
- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to get into this laptop.
- What for?
- None of your biz.
- None of my biz?
Look, I don't have a lot of time
so just trust me.
Trust you? You are sitting on top
of an unconscious man right now.
Look, I know what this looks like.
But I am one of the good guys.
I swear.
Okay. Get the laptop off his face. Jesus.
What did you give him?
He’s fine. We gotta to do this quickly
before someone tries to find him.
I'm sorry, we?
(piano music playing)
(indistinct chattering)
So the guy I was trying
to set you up with said
you nearly socked him in the face
when he made a joke
about us getting married, was that...
Uh... Yeah. Shit. Yeah.
I think I was getting sick of people
comparing me to your fiancé all day.
Ah.
He’s way better for you than I ever was.
I’d never have had the balls to stand up
to your Dad like that.
Are you alright?
I don't know.
I thought Dad could suck it up
for one day at least.
You know, we almost
weren’t going to invite him.
But I just really wanted him to be here.
You should tell him that.
Seriously.
You risked him making
a scene at your wedding
because you love him that much.
Yeah.
Thanks, mate.
I’m gonna go find him.
(indistinct chattering)
(tense music playing)
Would you please hold his eyelids open?
He’s got one of these Face Lock thingies.
I think, that’s why it’s not working.
No, I'm not doing.
I am not holding his eyes open. No.
Fuck that. So pathetic.
Be careful with him, please. Oh, my God.
Okay. Be quite.
- Katie...
- Come on, big boy.
what does a lawyer need a gun for?
Yes. I'm in.
(knocks on door)
Dad?
Dad? Can we talk?
(groans)
Dad?
Dad, are you alright?
Zach...
I...
(exhales)
I must have had a nap. I...
VICTOR: I'm glad you are here.
Where is my laptop?
Oh, God. They can come here at any second.
I need to show you something.
It's on the table.
It's not, Dad.
Where is it?
Someone’s taken it.
Okay. They are coming.
No, something is not right.
Dad, please just stop.
I wrote you a speech.
I...
For today. I got stuck halfway through
but it’s written on my laptop.
- VICTOR: I wanted to show it to you.
- ZACH: You wrote a speech?
Okay. Done.
What, to go into more detail about
how Mom would have hated my wedding?
Of course she would have loved it.
Okay.
Wait, what do we do now?
- Fuck it.
- No, no.
Katie.
(music intensifies)
Katie, no.
(dynamic music playing)
Wait.
I'm an old man... who has lost his wife.
Now I feel like I'm losing my son.
Oh, yes! What a fantastic idea!
I will check my room.
Oh, wait a minute, I’ve just done that,
and it's not bloody in there.
Well, it didn’t grow arms and legs
and sail off to France, Bruce.
It's a vape pen.
- Well, it sounds like an excuse.
- Okay.
Shimmy.
- Shimmy?
- Shimmy.
Oh, there it is!
(shower running)
(both laugh)
THE BRUISER:
I haven't seen Katie and Hugo.
It’s like babysitting
a toddler or something.
A really minted toddler.
(breathing heavily)
(dynamic music playing)
(sighs)
The waiter said he hadn’t seen anything.
Seemed shit-scared to me.
And there’s no CCTV.
So, what the fuck happened here?
Shit.
Dutch courage?
Yeah, well, I thought it’d be easier
to explain it to the Superintendent
if I was a bit pissed.
Hey, you are one of his best.
Hey, you will be okay.
Yeah. Well, it won't be.
The bad guys got away.
(upbeat music playing)
What?
This is Sunbeam FM, okay?
It's nothing but bangers.
Hey, that was...
That was really good back there.
You and me.
- Us.
- Yeah.
It was.
(Katie clears throat)
But they will find us, eventually.
So unless there’s something in this van
that can tell us who these assholes are
or why they’re after us,
we're dead.
Well, I can’t tell you who they are.
But I can tell you where they work.
Destination, work, Kane street Alaska.
Oh, look at you.
- I'm very impressed.
- Thank you.
Hey, I should have listened
to you about Fred.
I’m just so used to doing everything
on my own.
But it’s been really nice
having you on my team.
And this is...
the closest I will ever get
to admitting I was wrong, so I hope...
♪ You fucking cherish this moment ♪
I will. I really will.
Hey, sorry. Is there just something here?
Just around this area...
Oh, yeah. I...
I see it. I don't think it's something
you should be worried about.
Okey dokey!
I was right!
I knew you didn't really love Hugo.
Is he... Is he part of your cover?
Are you, like, MI5?
CIA?
UNSA?
(sucks teeth)
I can’t tell you anything about
what I’m doing.
Or you’ll have to kill me?
Will you? No...
Okay. Come on. You can tell me.
I could help.
- I kind of did today.
- No, you didn't.
You almost ruined everything.
I can’t have a partner in this.
It’s too dangerous.
- Yeah. But you know, I thought...
- And I'm getting married.
I can't do this anymore.
But, you know what I can do...
is a friendship.
What do you say?
Friends?
Okay, pal.
Good.
(door opens)
VICTOR: And I hope you all join me
in raising your glasses
to the happy couple.
(cheering)
("You Do Something to Me" playing)
- Hi. Yeah.
- Hey. You alright?
Listen, I heard Dad talking to you
about the pre-nup.
- I can talk to him if you want to, I--
- Listen...
- I know he’s just trying to protect you.
- Okay.
I will sign it.
First thing in the morning.
- Alright?
- Alright.
Alright.
See? They threw confetti
but rice is way more traditional,
and biodegradable.
But then, if we go for rice,
pigeons could eat it and explode.
And maybe you’ll get bird blood
on your dress!
And red does not go
with our color scheme--
Anil, I can’t have sex again.
You need to plan this wedding on your own.
- What?
- I just think it's the best thing for us.
Because I don’t really mind about
any of that stuff and you clearly do.
So just...
Go crazy. I just cannot hear about it.
Okay?
Yeah.
You really want to spend the rest
of your life bickering about everything?
All this commitment stuff is a trap.
You’re always so desperate
to be with someone,
you never really take the time
to get to know yourself.
I know myself.
I’m just honest
about not wanting to be alone.
I just...
I don’t want to be the random drunk guy
in the corner of every wedding
10 years from now.
(singing "You Do Something to Me")
(indistinct chattering)
So I guess this place must be a front.
It's a weird place to be a front,
a nightclub.
Like, distracting.
What are we supposed to be looking for?
God. This is so stupid.
If somebody spots us...
I feel weirdly calm. Like...
if we can get through today,
we can get through anything.
We’re kind of amazing together.
(pop song playing)
RADIO DJ: Next up "Call Me Maybe"
by Carly Rae Jepsen
dedicated to someone I hear
is a big fan of the show... Stefan!
Whose friend Leila says, "Hey, buddy,
we know you’re on the run
but please get in touch
and let us know that you’re okay."
(laughs)
Glad to hear you tune in to Sunbeam Radio
when you’re out for a jog, Stefan.
Here’s to all
my long distance runners out there!
("Call Me Maybe"
by Carly Rae Jepsen playing)
LEILA: Hello? Stefan?
Stefan, is that you?
Oh, my God.
Where are you? We are desperate.
(music stops)
Yeah. We will, sir.
Alright, sir.
Yeah. Got it.
How’d he take it?
Yeah. He’s not happy
with our handling of the case.
That’s paraphrasing
with about 11 fewer c-words.
- Right.
- I say we get to bed,
- attack it fresh in the morning.
- Sounds good.
Can I get two rooms please?
Sorry, he means one.
- One room?
- Yeah.
("I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire"
by The Ink Spots playing)
- Who are you?
- I could ask you the same question.
Aren’t you going to introduce us?
Alright then.
My name is Conrad.
And I’m her husband.