Warehouse 13 (2009–2014): Season 5, Episode 5 - Cangku Shisi - full transcript

Previously on Warehouse 13...

That's an artifact from Warehouse 12.

Something about mind control... I
thought there was just one of those.

Very good, gentlemen.

What is Benedict Valda doing here?

He died in Egypt in a pit of fire.

He's replicating artifacts.

Eleven? There should be twelve.

This portal opens to
the regent sanctum in China.

We both know it wouldn't have worked.

Why do you say that?



Because you're in love with Myka.

What happened to Claire?

Your sister was
infected by the music box.

The only solution was
Oliver Sacks' record player

that keeps her in a perpetual coma.

- What happened? Where's Claire?
- She's gone.

Did I do this?

I tried to cure Claire. Did
I somehow make her worse?

- If I did, I swear to God...
- No!

- This is not your fault.
- But what if it is?

What if I woke something up inside her,

something more dangerous
than what was already there?

Trust me, we're going to
find her, but, Claudia,

I need you present, I need you focused.



- Claire needs you.
- Okay, all right.

Well, she couldn't have
woken up by herself.

Not with Sacks' record
player keeping her in a coma.

Which by the way, is also gone.

Nice security in this place.

Well, you might've noticed
that when you broke in.

Obviously, somebody hacked into
their video surveillance system.

Probably the same way that
you did, when you broke in.

Well, then somebody should run a
diagnostic of their entire security system,

shouldn't they?

Hmm.

Without Sacks' record
player keeping her in check,

Claire would've trashed this place, right?

Yeah, whoever did this knew that they had
to keep her attached to the record player.

But who even knew she was here?
Much less wanted to break her out.

Well, let's have a look, shall we?

Good. Spectrometer
occurrence is five hours.

So, if Claire were still here,
we can... We can fast forward.

Good. I wanna see the son of a bitch.
I'm gonna put him in the ground for this.

There! Who's that?

- That's impossible! It's...
- Benedict Valda.

Time to rise and shine.

Who are you?

- What is this thing?
- That won't come off.

It allows me to control your
prodigious powers, miss Donovan.

You'll do exactly what I say.

Like hell I will.

- No! Ah!
- Calm down.

Calm down. Down.

Get up.

Come.

No.

Oh!

Good. You will do as I say.

Yes.

You and I are going to do
great things, miss Donovan.

So, Valda is alive. He's alive.

How come Valda didn't die in Warehouse 2?

So, why wait three years to show up?

This is not the Valda that we knew.

If my theory is correct,

- then this is the Valda...
- From the alternate time continuum.

Great. The Nazi Valda. Fun!

Pete, put it back!

What? I never knew it did that. Cool.

- Stop touching things.
- Right.

Okay. So, how did that Valda
get into our time continuum?

Recede forks.

I suspect he took one out of
my bag while I was his prisoner

and he used it to prevent
himself from becoming erased.

So now that he's here, what's he gonna do?

Well, this new Valda, he's
from a militaristic world,

where ruthless experimentation in
the name of scientific progress,

- that was a norm.
- And he's got my sister.

I just got her back. I'm not about to lose
her to some psycho from another dimension.

When I get my hands on
him, I'm gonna snap off...

Use that energy to figure
out why he took her.

Fine. But, I'm doing it angrily.

- Like that.
- Oh, my God.

Guess who's been hiding out at
his room in the dead agent's vault?

Weasel covered his tracks, until now.

He's been in the
Warehouse the whole time.

That's how he knew about Claire.

- Pete, come on.
- Huh?

Uh, you and me? Alone?

Bring your favorite Teddy bear
and a night light. Come on.

Jinksy, you up for a little snoop and poop?

Huh? Uh, six eyes are better than
four. Aren't they, Artie? Artie.

- Artie?
- Do whatever the hell...

No, I'm okay. I'm just gonna
stay here and help these guys out.

No, come on. I'll take off my
shirt. Been working on my guns.

How about working on your breath?

As if Valda squatting in the
Warehouse wasn't creepy enough,

now we got to rummage through his stuff?

Clearly, he's been busy in here.

Yeah, but doing what? And what
does it have to do with Claire?

Well, maybe these artifacts will tell us.
We just have to figure out what they do.

Yeah, I'll grab a laptop so
we can check the database.

I can do it.

- No, it's okay, I got it.
- No, no, no. Really, really? 'Cause I...

- I don't mind.
- Yeah, thanks, though.

So, here we are,

just us.

- Hi. Huh?
- What are you doing?

- Get back to work.
- What? Yes. All right.

Look, I'm taking inventory of
Valda's personal effects, all right?

You should be... I don't know,
look through the files or something.

Sounds like a date. A plan.

It sounds like a plan.

Because a date, that would
mean... That would mean...

You have got to stop eating sugar.

How? How can you be?

No!

- Hey, Mykes.
- Yeah.

Valda seems pretty interested in
Claire's freaky psychokinetic powers.

Uh, the alternate Valda he got his
jollies out of copying artifacts, right?

Right. He replicated
the Spine of the Saracen.

Exactly. He made a
bunch of zombie warriors.

Now what if he was going to
do the same thing with Claire?

Right. What if he was gonna use her

to create an army of telekinetic
rage monsters to conquer the world?

Probably not.

Yeah, but then, why does he
have all her medical records?

I don't know. But there's one item
missing from his personal effects.

- It's a safe deposit key.
- So?

To a box in the Regent's Vault.

What artifact does
Valda want from here?

I have no idea.

Let's hope he hasn't
got his hands on it yet.

I'm guessing Keeler not
answering his phone is a bad sign.

Oh, no.

Keeler!

But there's something...

What?

Get out! It's a trap!

Careful, careful...

- Artie?
- Artie?

- Oh, my God!
- Looks like an "Artiesicle".

Okay. Mykes, we're going to
have to neutralize the statue.

Yeah. Do it.

Okay.

How are we gonna get through the ice?

This inukshuk probably
belonged to Sir William Perry.

- Gonna need more than that.
- Well, basically it means

that Artie has been cryogenically frozen.

And that means what?

Well, we have about an hour to thaw
him out before he freezes to death.

Right. There it is. I knew there
was some bad news in there somewhere.

Okay, so what if we try to internally
elevate his body temperature?

Wait a minute, Mykes. You
remember those, uh, the glasses

that Artie used to warm up the guy that
got zombified by the Donner Party Jar?

Yes! Alfred Butz, the
inventor of the thermostat.

- Let's call Steve.
- Whoo! Let's call him.

- Let's call him out there.
- Okay.

Okay, I'll take the
glasses to Pete and Myka.

- Are you okay here on your own?
- Of course.

I'm following Artie's sage advice.

Channeling my anger.

I don't think that's what he meant.
But if it makes you feel better.

Oh, it does. Very much so. Go, save Artie.

Artie, too. You keep giving me
reasons to kick your ass, Mr. V.

Ear plugs.

Right on time.

Please put in those ear
plugs I gave you, driver.

Place the needle.

Place the needle.

Thirty minutes.

These people will suffer seizures.

Then, their internal organs
will begin to shut down.

Ultimately, they'll die.

Imagine the havoc you could wreak
upon an air traffic control tower.

The New York Stock Exchange
or a Military Installation.

With weapons such as these, you can
defeat your enemies completely undetected.

This is but one artifact
among tens of thousands.

Artifacts that could and
should be engineered as weapons,

tools, building blocks for
the advancement of your empire.

Today,

they're locked away, useless.

But with forward thinking
people like you and I in charge,

we can take these objects and
change the course of human destiny.

Have I piqued your interest?

Place this Mason's square

in the location that we've
chosen and we can begin.

Come along now, Claire.

We have one more important stop to make.

- Hey, look at that.
- He's starting to warm up.

Now, this is that walking stick

- that causes earthquakes, right?
- Yeah.

I'm sorry, it's all I could
find at such short notice.

No, no, no. I think
this could work. I mean,

the quake might shake the ice off
the statue long enough to bag it

- Do it.
- Beat smash.

Ugh!

- I hated that.
- Good, he's grumpy. He'll be okay.

What the hell was that? Oh!

Oh, I got a ping. I got a ping.

- Ping.
- I'm gonna... I got it. Here we go.

- Give me my ping.
- No, it's okay. I got it.

Oh, my God.

A bunch of people just
fell into spontaneous comas

at a park in Rapid City.

So, we know what Valda is
doing with Sacks' record player.

You know, without pilates resistant bands

to keep the circulation flowing,
all those people could die.

No, with that many victims, there
wouldn't even be enough to go round.

Okay, uh, you know what, Steve?

Why don't you stay here
and keep an eye on Artie?

- And, uh, Pete, you come with me. Okay.
- Huh?

Uh... What? What...

Or you guys can go deal with
that and I stay with Artie, huh?

- Lattimer.
- Huh?

- Pete!
- What?

That's the third time today you've
tried to avoid Myka, what's up?

I'm not avoiding Myka. Why would I
avoid Myka? I'm so not avoiding Myka.

You're lying.

You know what, Steve?

That whole lying bit got old,
six minutes after you got here.

Mykes, look!

Pete, some of them are
starting to have seizures.

Yeah, the record player
must have gotten to the E.M.T's

and police as soon as
they came within earshot.

You got those ear plugs?

- Ready?
- Yeah.

Ugh...

What the hell?

Why does he have this?

Oh, Valda. You sick Freakazoid.

Pete, I'm just gonna keep
them inside the truck.

Okay, I'll stop the record player. Okay.

Wait. Secret Service.
Stay inside, don't get out.

Fudge.

Pete!

- Pete?
- Mommy?

Hey! I would've called, but I figured...

Yeah, what the hell just happened?

Help me.

"Chuck Yeager's favorite L.P '."

He's the guy who broke the sound barrier.

Oh, my God! Valda switched the records!

Hey! Hey! It's the Iron Shadow's underwear.

Charles Atlas workout trunks.

This looks like a job for... Ugh.

- Dizzy...
- Okay, put me in, coach.

- No, no. I got this. Yeah.
- Are you sure?

Oh, right. You've been there, done that.

Myka! Myka! Mykes!

- Are you okay?
- Yeah.

Oh. Oh.

Thanks, partner.

Uh... Ow!

Sorry.

- What are you listening for?
- Shh!

Vibrations.

Every artifact resonates
with a unique frequency.

If I come upon a silent box...

- No, no, no, no. Empty.
- What?

What did Valda take?

It's not what he took.

It's what he's gonna do with it.

Benedict Valda is gonna
steal the Warehouse.

What do you mean Valda is
gonna steal the Warehouse? How?

With among other things, the
Setting Maul of Hiram Abiff.

The Getty Mall at High Cliff? What?

Uh, a Setting Maul. It's
kind of like a Mason's Hammer.

Hiram Abiff.

He was an architect, who according to the
freemasons, built Solomon's first temple.

And his hammer is integral to the
relocation of the Warehouse from one

host country to the next.

So how do we stop Valda if he has
everything he needs to steal it?

He does not have everything.

The Setting Maul is only
one of three artifacts

that precipitate the moving of
the Warehouse. The others are

the Mason Square and the Compass.

He's already stolen the square.

So he's probably already chosen
the location of the new Warehouse.

Now, the placement of the Square

tells the Compass where
to transport the artifacts.

How does the Compass work?

Once the Setting Maul has been
reassembled, it activates the Compass.

Then, the Compass sweeps
the Warehouse and converts

all the artifacts' energy,
directs all that energy

to the new Warehouse and that's
what completes the transfer.

- Say what?
- It's like the transporter

from Star Trek, minus
the Dilithium Crystals.

Oh, cool. Now, for safety the
Maul is separated into two parts.

The handle and the hammer.

Now, the handle's been
taken from the Regent Vault.

The hammer is located at the
birth place of the host country.

See, not just a pretty face.

So, yes.

Now, when it's time for
the Warehouse to move

then the two pieces of
the Maul are reunited.

And the Compass is triggered which
begins to phase out the artifacts.

To complete the transfer,

the Setting Maul has to be struck against
the Cornerstone of the new Warehouse

facing in the artifacts of that location

and we have to stop Valda from doing that.

So, Valda already has the handle part.

So, we just need to get to
the hammer before he does.

- Well, I get that. Let's just do that.
- Yeah.

Where's it buried?

The hammer is hidden at the
Green Dragon Tavern in Boston.

Of course. That's where the
Boston Tea Party was conceived

and the American Revolution was born.

You three get to Boston, right now. Steve
and I are gonna lock down the Compass

to keep it from being activated. Go!

Why do they call it the
lsle of the Widow's son?

Well, originally it's a Freemason's...

Don't you have access
to Wikipedia? Look it up.

- Look out for the rat!
- Ooh!

All right. We keep the Compass in here,

in the Widow Son's lsle,

because this is one of the
most secure and safe areas

in all of the Warehouse.

- So, when you say safe...
- Don't start with me.

Valda!

- He must've already moved it in position.
- So let's go get it.

Well, why didn't I think of that?

The only thing is, I don't know
where the position is, do you?

As you may have noticed, this
Warehouse is rather large.

Rather large.

- No Valda.
- No Claire.

So how the hell did we beat him here?

Well, uh, this bar was
built over the original

Green Dragon Tavern which
was demolished in 1854.

So, I'm guessing Valda
might be at the new one.

Good thing he doesn't have a Myka.

Why steal the Warehouse?
Why not just take it over?

Maybe he wanted to recreate it.

Make it more like the version
he knew under Paracelsus.

Oh, that's a sobering thought.

You know what I still don't
get? The record player thing.

I mean, was it supposed to
be some sort of distraction?

Or demonstration. Hmm.

Oh, snap.

It's an open house for the new owners.

Guys, over here.

- She's a Regent.
- He's been here.

Or he's still here.

What we need is behind that wall.

- What the hell was that?
- Sounds like it's coming from below us.

Claire!

Claudia, wait!

Myka! Mykes, hold on!

Okay, we don't know if it's...

Safe.

Claire, please, I know
you don't wanna hurt me.

I told you, telekinetic rage monster.

Pete, wait. If Claire loses consciousness,

that thing could crush Claudia.

- So how do we stop her?
- The lens.

The lens is how he's controlling her.

Put down your weapons.

Or Claire will crush her like a grape.

Come on, Claire. Fight him. Fight back.

She's still in there.
I know you can hear me.

You really think we're gonna
let you steal the Warehouse?

You really think you have a choice?

Bury them.

No!

- Artie, what is happening?
- It's Valda.

He's reassembled the Setting
Maul and activated the Compass.

The Warehouse is beginning to move.

I know.

Can you tell where Valda put it?

It's gotta be somewhere
under the Warehouse.

There's an under the Warehouse?

Stay!

Not you, Steve.

Just put your back into it, Lattimer.

If I put my back anymore into
it, my kidneys are gonna explode.

Okay, this is never gonna work. We're
just going to find another way out.

What if that is the only way...

Oh!

Claude?

The second Valda trapped us
down here, I started feeling

something different, something bad.

Worse than the Warehouse moving?

Yes, something else. Something
about my connection to the Warehouse.

Okay, look. This was
once a safe house where

Paul Revere and the Sons
of Liberty plotted against

- the British right?
- Right.

- So?
- So, if the Redcoats

raided this place during
a secret meeting...

- They needed an escape route.
- Yes.

All righty.

All right. So, Paul Revere, right?

One if by land.

Two if by sea.

Three if by secret passage way.

Zoinks!

Velma, Daphne, let's go.

Are you sure the neutralizer will stop?

I stopped being sure of things in
1983, but if we don't do something,

then everything in the Warehouse
will disappear within a day.

So, no pressure.

You do have a "Plan B", right?

Silly String? That's what's
gonna save the Warehouse?

I once saw this particular silly
string lock up the entire gooery.

Start spraying.

- We did it?
- Yes.

Yes?

What? I hate spiders.

Okay, listen. We really need
to find out where Valda went.

One good thing about Boston
is there's cameras everywhere.

So he should turn up on
at least one of the...

Ha! I got you!

Diplomatic Plates.

Okay, according to the un database,

the license plate with
the letters "CY" belong to

- the Chinese Consulate.
- Outsourcing, huh?

This guy gets more evil by the minute.

We really need to loop in Artie.

The limo tracks to a Private
Airfield outside of Boston,

where the Delegation of Chinese
diplomats just departed for Beijing.

So, he is taking
the Warehouse to China?

Man, I don't wanna work in China.

It's probably impossible
to find a good burrito.

I would imagine that
China is the only country

with the financial power
and tactical wherewithal

to create the kind of Warehouse
that Valda has in mind.

All right. So let's get
to Beijing and stop him.

Well, how? Valda is already wheels up.

Yeah.

But we've got a portal.

- I'm not ready for the Warehouse to move.
- This can't be the end.

This isn't the end. We won't let it be.

Hey!

- Good, we're almost ready.
- Artie!

I think Claire has more to
do with this than we think.

- I'm afraid Valda has plans for her.
- What makes you think that?

If getting the hammer was all he needed
her for, he would've killed her by now.

But he hasn't.

I feel he needs her for
something more important.

I think I know what it is.

What? That's a bad tone. What?

The Warehouse will recognize a Caretaker.

The first Caretaker of
Warehouse 13 was killed

in the fire of 1898. After
that, her sister took over.

- Mrs. Frederic...
- Had a sister?

So what? The Mrs. Frederic of the East?

And that's why Valda was going through
the Donovan family medical records.

And that explains the bad
juju I've been feeling.

Valda is going to make Claire
Caretaker of his new Warehouse.

Very powerful one that he has control over.

I wonder if a mini Tesla grenade
will fit in Valda's mouth?

Claudia!

Be careful!

He's gonna continue to use Claire

against you and he has
total control over her.

Not total. I saw her fight him in Boston.

She's still in there, I can reach her.

Don't let your feelings
for her be your blind spot.

Valda's hooks may already
be in her too deep.

I saw it, too, Artie.
She's not his, not yet.

- I've just got to find a way in.
- Yeah, well...

Find it fast.

All right. Listen up.

If my contact in China is right, then Valda

is heading to the Beijing
National Olympic Stadium.

- That's his location?
- If he finds the Cornerstone,

and strikes it with the Setting Maul,

the new Warehouse will be consecrated.

The artifacts will start to phase
into their new home and Warehouse 13

will officially come to an end.

Okay. Right.

Let's go to China and stop
Valda from ordering take out.

Argh!

Well, looks like the Silly String's a
bust. Tell me that you have a "Plan C".

We have no choice, we're gonna
have to destroy the Compass.

What happens if we destroy it?

Happily accepting guesses on that.

This stadium is too small.
Where's he gonna put everything?

According to these schematics, there
are dozens of underground levels,

each of them several acres wide.

It's also where we'll find the Cornerstone.

Guys...

That says Warehouse 14.

Whoa!

Everything is still in flux.

Valda hasn't
completed the transfer yet.

I told you. A portal trumps
a private jet every time.

Now, we need to set a trap
for that psycho son of a...

Welcome to Cangku Shisi.

Warehouse 14.

My Warehouse.

Thank you for providing the means

to come to this reality. You've
given me something in this world

I could never have had in mine.

Complete control.

Kill them slowly.

I want them to see it all
arrive before they die.

These buttons are from the
lab coat worn by the chemist

Julius Wilbrand when he
discovered trinitrotoluene.

- TNT?
- As the Layman say.

Yes, when they're put in
close proximity to each other,

boom!

Well, Artie. If we destroy the Compass,

what happens when it's actually
time to move the Warehouse?

Yeah, well, let 'em use FedEx.

You ready?

Fire in the hole.

Is it...

- Artie, tell me that you have a "Plan D".
- No!

There's no "Plan D".

Valda! You son of a bitch!

This is my home!

And I will never, never let you
take it away, do you hear me?

Never!

Never!

Ahhh!

Is this a rope an artifact?
What's the Providence?

No! It's just a rope!

Stop asking questions and help me!

Pull!

Guys,

we gotta get down from here before
Valda finds that Cornerstone.

Claud, just try. Try and reach Claire.

Claire?

Claire, listen to me. Valda can't
control you, you hear me? He can't.

You're way too strong. Fight him.

That's just making her angrier.

Well, what am I supposed to say?

Connect with her.

Claude, find something that you both love.

Claire, try to hear me, please?

* Blood and blisters on my fingers *

You guys, this isn't gonna work.

Claudia, don't stop.
Just... just keep going.

Claudia, please.

* Chaos rules when we're apart *

- * Watch my temper *
- * I go mental *

- * Watch my temper *
- * I go mental *

* I'll try to be gentle *

* When I grow up *
* I'll be stable *

* When I grow up *
* I'll turn the tables *

Fine.

I'll be Caretaker myself.

Claire? Claire?

Wow, I've always loved
the sound of your voice.

Oh!

Claud, okay, good.

Myka and I gonna try and stop Valda
from consecrating Warehouse 14.

Meanwhile, try and get
that thing off her eye.

I tried, but it won't come off.

Okay, wait, guys. If this lens
gave Valda access to Claire's mind,

wouldn't reversing it
give her access to his

so we could transfer her
artifact energy into...

Claudia, no. I know what
you're thinking, but no.

Wouldn't transferring
Claire's telekinetic rage

into Valda just make him more powerful?

- Yeah, you're right.
- No, no, no. You know what?

Do it. I have an idea. I think we can

kill two birds with one
stone. Mykes, come with me.

Okay. Wish us luck.

This might hurt.

The Cornerstone.

It's so easy to change the world.

Concentrate. Focus on
Valda. Send him the power.

Hey, Valda? This doesn't belong to you.

I'll take that.

- Say goodbye to your Warehouse.
- Hey, Benny!

Check your pockets!

Fork you!

Oh, my...

- Yeah? Okay.
- Yeah.

Now get angry about something.

I'm fine. Yes!

- They did it, yes! You guys!
- Oh, my God!

How many times do we
have to save the world?

We should get a raise.

Ha!

We did it! You and me,
we saved the Warehouse!

Whoa, you think maybe they
did something in China?

- Nah!
- Nah!

So are you sure I'm really cured?

100%

Yeah, the music box energy
required a human host

and as soon as you sent
that energy into Valda

and he got erased from this timeline...

- So did the energy.
- Simple physics, really.

With a freaky Warehouse twist. Yay, Pete!

- Okay.
- One more thing.

- Ah!
- What?

- No!
- Yes.

This belongs to you now.

No, no, no. I told you,
my strongest memories

are of you and this guitar.

So now that you're back for
good, let's make some new ones.

Besides, I've already got my eye on this
sweet '57 Les Paul Goldtop Featherhead.

Of course you do.

And I already booked us into the
unavail coffee house in eight weeks.

Sounds like you've found your
calling as a Warehouse agent.

Yeah!

I mean, at least until the whole,
uh, Caretaker destiny thing kicks in.

Hey, I was destined to be in a
coma for the rest of my life and

somebody changed all that.

Yeah.

See, Jinksy, it's all about...

Hey, guys. I gotta go help
Artie. I'll be right back.

Oh, um. Hey, you were great in China.

Pete?

Okay, Mr. human lie detector.

You look me in the eye
and tell me I'm lying.

I'm in love with Myka Bering.

Damn it.

I know.

I just...

I can't believe that the
Warehouse almost moved.

We've been here for five years,
you know? It feels like home.

Try 40 years. Little piece of advice,

take it one snag at a time.

Something I've learned on this job.

Because you never know
when things are gonna...

Change.

- Artie, I thought we stopped it.
- We did.

- There's a problem, isn't there?
- Yes.

We retrieved the Setting Maul. We
stopped the Warehouse from moving.

Why is that Compass still active?

I had a feeling. Yes.

I'm afraid Benedict Valda's actions
may have set certain events into motion.

- Events? What kind of events?
- The kind that even I

may be unable to stop.