Warehouse 13 (2009–2014): Season 3, Episode 3 - Love Sick - full transcript

Previously on Warehouse 13...

So...our own Warehouse
Doctor, huh?

You like her.
Ask the woman out.

Do you wanna come with me
for a little walk?

I'd like that.

- Who was Hugo Miller?
- A brilliant man.

He's...retired.

Artie, half of his brain
is burnt out.

Time to set things right.

- Thank you, Agent Nielsen.
- I'm so glad you're back.

Hello there.



Sally Stukowski, FBI.

You've done well.

Another one?
What is this?

She's in P.E.A.
Down two minutes.

BP's 90 over 50.
Pulse ox has dropped to 82.

- Amp of EPI.
- Page Hillard upstairs.

Damn it!
Just like the others.

- She's in V-fib.
- Charge the paddle to 50.

Okay, and...
clear.

What the hell?

I've never seen
anything like it.

It's why I called the CDC.

You did the right thing
to call us.

I'm gonna bring in
a consultant.



I think he'll be very helpful,
I'm sure.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

Artie, where are you going

in the middle of the night?

Ah...Ha ha.

Nowhere. No place.
Why?

Is that the coat
I got you?

This coat?
Uh...so what? Yeah.

- Is that a clean shirt?
- Uh...no, it's not.

Um...
Did you trim your eyebrows?

Hmm? No.

What's that smell?

What? I don't...
smell anything.

Exactly.
You primped.

You're going to see
Dr. Vanessa!

Who's...Dr. Vanessa?

She's the Warehouse
Physician.

And...Artie's...

girly girlfriend.

Uh, yeah.
Dr. Calder feels

that there is an artifact

that may be causing trouble

in a hos...

...pital in Utah.

And she has asked me,
a colleague, to consult,

and that is it!

And now,
if you will excuse me!

Did I not leave
enough food in your bowl?

- I'm coming with you.
- Why? No. Why?

A hospital, Artie?
There will be blood.

When you faint,

someone's gonna have to
break your fall.

Ohh...
Fine. Fine.

All right.

- Are you wearing spanx?
- Stop looking at me.

What are you do...just...

oh! Hi.

We came as quickly
as we could.

Yeah. That's record time.

Oh, blue scrubs.
They quite...become you.

I mean, it brings out
the blue in your eyes and...

- Oh, thank you.
- Cough, cough,

said the uncomfortable
young person.

So...uh, what brings us
to the great Salt Lake...

Oh, a series of very
unusual deaths.

- They called us, so called you...
- I'm sorry.

They know about the Warehouse?

No, no, Vanessa was also
on staff at the CDC.

- Sorry.
- Oh, oh, I get it.

So the CDC is your Bruce Wayne
daytime face,

but you spend your dark knights
with the Warehouse.

- I gotcha.
- She takes great pride

in making references neither of
us will ever understand, so...

Riddle me this, Batgirl.

- Is that a heart?
- It was.

I don't get it.
She smoked five packs a day?

Why is it all...
cracked and dry?

I sent a tissue sample
to my lab.

One of the technicians

who spends his weekends
as an amateur botanist

made a really strange
discovery.

The heart muscle
has actually metamorphosed

into diatomaceous earth.

What?

Uh, kidneys, spleen,
lungs...

All this woman's organs
have turned to clay.

Clay?
And...you say there are others?

We may be facing
an artifact outbreak.

- Aah!
- Aah!

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

- Aah!
- Aah!

- Artie's bedroom!
- Ho ho ho ho!

Why are we in Artie's
bedroom naked?

I don't know.

Why were you
in bed with me?

I was not in bed with you!
You were in bed with me!

Naked!
You're naked too.

And why are you blonde?

I'm not blond!
Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, I'm blond!
What did you do?

No! Hey, don't blame me!
I mean, I'm good,

but I've never changed
a woman's hair color.

Pete, we...we...we did not...

We did not do it, did we?

I don't remember.

- Did we get drunk?
- No! No.

No. I-I know hangovers,

and I do not feel hung over.

There...must be
some simple explanation

why you and I would be
in bed.

Together.

Naked.

With Artie's toothbrush.

All the victims
are female?

So far, yeah.
I-I ordered a DNA analysis,

but that's gonna take
a few days.

Days we don't have.

But what we do have is...

Or, is that her original
DNA sequencer?

- Yeah, it is.
- Whose?

Well, Watson and Crick,
they won a Nobel Prize

for their proposal of the double
helix nature of DNA.

But all of their work was based
entirely on the research of...

Rosalind Franklin,
my personal hero.

- Brava, doctor.
- Thank you.

Oh, it's like watching
Golden Gossip Girls.

I'll go do something.

Thank you.

Artie...

I really enjoyed our walk.

- The one we took...
- Me too.

It was probably the best
walk I ever...walked.

In fact, it was
such a successful promenade

that I was thinking perhaps...

We should take it
to the next level?

A jog?

Well, you know,
I-I could buy shorts.

Artie, I was kidding.

I think dinner
would be nice.

Right.

When we get to
the bottom of this.

Of course.

Of course.

This will prove
that we didn't do anything.

- You got it?
- I know how

the durational spectrometer
works.

No, it's...it's the...
okay. All right.

Right? And this...okay.

There ya go.
Fast-forward, will you?

Okay.

Okay, so far so...

You know, we're just...
Great.

Oh...Look,
we're...we're spooning.

No. We're not.

- I'm fast-forwarding.
- All right.

- Are you drooling?
- That's sweat.

Look at you.
You're, like, wrestling.

You're a bed hog!
I know.

Ooh! Almost saw
one of the tetons.

- Well...
- This is not funny!

Could be.
Could be.

Were you making
a phone call?

Uh, yeah.
Maybe I ordered a pizza.

Well, nada on the nooky.

But this only shows
the last five hours.

I mean, stuff could have
happened before...that.

Okay, but who did I call,

and what does
Artie's toothbrush mean?

Artie.
What's going on there?

- Nothing! Nobody had sex.
- What?

Nothing.
Just me jokin' around!

Jokin' around!

- Why are you calling?
- I'm returning your call.

We didn't call you, Artie.

That wasn't Pete singing
the Pina Colada song

on my voicemail
at 3:00 in the morning?

Oh!

- That!
- Right. Yeah.

- Yeah, well...
- Well...

Do you like...
taking walks in the rain?

It...

Myka, did you do something
to your hair?

No. It always
looks like this.

Artie, um, does your
toothbrush mean anything to you?

In the sense that it
fights plaque and gingivitis,

it means a great deal to me.

You're...hello?

There is only one explanation
for all of us.

Aha! Several disturbances
in the stacks.

See? It was an artifact
that affected us.

All right, well,
let's check 'em out

and see if one of them
whammyed us into...

Whammying each other.

We did not whammy
each other, okay?

And I will prove it,
or I will die trying.

Where are my shoes?

Hey, where's Steve?

Yeah, I don't know.
Uh...

I'll call him.
He always answers his cell.

That's not good.

Nope. No, it's not.

That's a lotta
Scrabble points.

It's the genome sequence
of the last victim.

Hmm. This doesn't make sense.

That...that can't be right.
I mean, that...

That's not...

that's not even...
- What?

Human. Those are not
human DNA sequences.

You know, people, plants,
animals...

we're all carbon-based.

Carbon bonded with other
elements makes up what we are,

but those gene sequences
are silicon-based or...

If this is a virus
and that's accurate,

it's actually changing
their DNA.

Do you see it?

See what?

See? It's a pattern.

And it just repeats...

There.
There, you see it now.

- No.
- Okay.

Whoa. How'd you see that?

Just an old habit
from my code-breaking days

at the NSA. code.

That's computer code.

Of course!

It's a computer virus!

But computer viruses
only affect computers.

They don't affect people.

Unless it's super-sized
by an artifact.

We are facing a diabolical
nexus of computer science

and genetic engineering
run amok

that could threaten the very
idea of life as we know it.

One of you's got to be
in your bedroom.

Come on.

Ah, Davina, my favorite.

Oh ha ha.

- Artie!
- Hugo!

Claudia!

Thank you so much for coming
to Utah on such short notice.

What, are you kidding?
I'm positively salivating

at a concept of a computer virus
hybridization.

And of course I'd do anything
for an old friend

who put Humpty Dumpty
back together again.

Hugo, uh...
Let me introduce you to

- Dr. Calder...
- Vee?

Hello, Huey.

Vee.

Der plot thickens.

I still cannot believe
that it's really you.

Well, it's really me.

Look at you.
You still have that same jacket.

- Yeah. Groovy, isn't it?
- Yeah.

- Never went out of style.
- He's a regular fashionista.

Says Artie
in the bad jacket.

Oh, and you still
have a way with the words.

And you had a way
with me, Vee.

"Cough cough,"
says Artie and Claudia.

- No, no, it's...
- I'm sorry.

I'm just surprised
as all get out to see Vee.

We started at the Warehouse
about the same time.

Remember how we used
to hang out in the dark vault,

play records?

You and me and...

Mary Jane?

What we had an agent
named Mary Jane? I don't...

Good God,
where did you come from?

What?

Dr. Calder,
we have another victim.

Tesla 315.

This is where the first artifact
was disturbed.

Yo! Steve-ero!

Steve?

I don't know. I just...
I think it's a wild...

Aah! Jeez!

Oh, God! Jeez!

Ow ow ow!

The target coil
is still on.

Target practice.
That's it.

That's it. We were havin'
target practice, remember?

Yes, we were talking.

He had just mentioned
that he was gay,

and you were being you.

Oh, my God, you're gay?

Finally! Thank God.

There's someone
to appreciate all this.

It's a waste of time
working out for these people.

Here,
I'll take my shirt off.

No! No, thanks.

No, hey, anytime, man.

You know,
I spend a lot of time on

you know, the guns
and pack and, I, you know...

Pete, I'm really good.
I'm good, really.

No, dude, I'm straight.
It's cool, man.

Take...take it in.

Pete,
put your shirt back on.

Anytime.

It's cool.

The coil's hot.

Would you...would you
like to...

Yes, thank you.
Thank you.

Well, not bad
if you were trying to miss.

Firing a ray gun
isn't as easy

as it looks
in the movies.

No, hey, no!

It is very hard to fire
ray guns in the movies.

How many times you see
a storm trooper

hit what he's firing at?

Not once.

Hoo!

Hoo-ah!

That's not bad.

Hoo hoo! Not bad?

Woman, I got mad skills.

Don't they need
to recharge?

Well, Claudia
gave them an upgrade.

Oh.

Watch and learn, rookies.

Sha-bam!

- The shelf.
- Pete!

Grab that one!

I got it!

I think they came
from up there.

Yeah, so we should
put them back.

Listen, no more
fooling around.

Pete, look.

We did get drunk...

Sort of.

No, no, 'cause
if I'd have gotten drunk,

I'd have slept
with somebody.

The number of victims
are increasing.

Did you find anything,
Hugo?

Yes. The computer virus
is literally rewriting

this young woman's DNA.

I could spend a lifetime
studying its effects.

This reminds me of the case

involving
D.B. Cooper's parachute.

Oh, that was
a weird one,

even by Warehouse standards.

Weird and wonderful
as I recall.

We have a lot of work
to do, Agent Miller.

Um, how do we reverse
this process?

Well, we have to find
the artifact.

If we can discover

how it made the computer virus
communicable,

I could write an antivirus
and we can disseminate a cure.

Ta-dah!

So, Vee and I will
put our heads together,

analyze
its genetic structure,

you and Claudia check out
the young woman's apartment.

Maybe you'll get lucky
and, uh,

find a clue as to
the artifact's whereabouts.

Oh, that's good.
That's fine.

Um, I think that you've
got a firm grip on things here.

So W.C. Fields'
juggling balls

make you drunk
and pass out.

How come
every other artifact

makes me
have to call my sponsor?

Okay, according to the log,
we disturbed that one too.

Walt Disney's paint brush.

Wow.

Oh, hey, look.

Marilyn Monroe's hairbrush.

This explains that.

Pete?

Yeah?

Look.

Steve's Tesla.

This is so much cheaper
than a salon.

Hey, Myka?

Yeah?

Look.

Where you guys been?

What happened
to target practice?

♪ Happy Birthday ♪

♪ Mr. Secret Service Agent ♪

Uh, should you guys
be touching that?

Uh-oh, it's
the human lie detector.

Better not tell a fib.
Ooh!

Okay, what is this, some sort
of a hazing joke, or...?

Claudia was
right about you, Jinks.

You are a poopy-pants.

Have you guys
been drinking?

No!

I have not had
a single drop of alcohol.

Jeez!

Look, Artie told me
that rule number one

is never playing
with the artifacts,

so why don't we just
put these back?

Stevie, Stevie!

Steve, you know how the
Warehouse is a really big place?

- Uh-huh.
- Like, um...

You want to see something
really cool?

Oh, I don't know.

I think we should probably
get back to...

- Let's go!
- What?

Come on,
Mr. Poopy McPooperson.

We did something to Steve.

Something bad.

Something very bad.

We have to figure out
what it is.

Would a machete help?

Or maybe a chainsaw.

After all,
this is just a crime scene.

Okay, you know what?

Okay, you're
always there for me,

as annoying as that can be,

and that can be
pretty annoying.

So how about we change
things up

and you let me be there for you
for two minutes?

Artie?

Just because Hugo and Vanessa
were an item

back during the Civil War

does not mean
they're getting back together.

You and the doc
have a good thing going.

What thing?
We don't have a thing.

We have one walk.

And I limped.
Artie...

Claudia, I...

Given my line of work

and my advanced years,

I had pretty much
made peace with the fact

that I would not find...

Romantic companionship.

Love.

And then...

Vanessa.

And so I started to hope.

False hope, it would seem.

Artie, it's hope.

How can it be false?

Uh, yeah. Well,
can we just keep looking?

Is that all right
with you?

Okay.

No, not the computer.

No, no, no.

No, no, no,
what do you doing?

From where do you think
a computer virus

is most
likely to originate?

Right. That's
why you're still alive

after all these years.

Wait a second.

Tiger Direct.

Yeah, it's
a computer chain store.

We passed one
on the way here.

Why?
What...what are you doing?

No, don't worry.
My laptop's safe.

Bingo! I just cross-referenced
bank statements

from the other five victims.

They all have credit card
charges from Tiger Direct.

That is bingo.

Time for
Annie's afternoon yoga.

Tyler!

What the heck
were you doing?

Nothing.
I was on my break.

You're busted,
my brother.

Your attitude just wrote
one too many checks

your butt can't cash.

Whoa, uh, excuse me,
Mr. Shreve,

but you can't fire me.

I just cleared it
with H.R.

Enjoy your break...

Forever.

I.E., you're fired.

Oh, fine.

And you know,

only total jerkwads
say "I.E."

Aah!

We need to speak
to the employee

that serviced
these computers.

Uh, these are all
in-home calls.

When it's a home computer,

we send out
one of our Tiger-nicians.

Oh, this explains a lot.

Tyler Struhl.

Tyler Struhl's
one of your...one of your...

Tiger-nician.

And he repaired
these computers

and he's here right now?
Can we talk to him?

I just fired him.

He was totally
not tiger material.

He just left.

What are you do...

oh, right. Okay, go.
- I'm on it.

Yeah, go, go, go.

He was hacking
computers.

He was spying on girls

like some techno
Peeping Tom.

Only female victims.

Perv.

Hope I never see
his face again.

Attention,
Tiger Direct shoppers.

What the...

- Let's play 20 questions.
- That's him.

Question one.

Does the store manager,
Colin Shreve,

make his repairmen
use old fiber optic cables

while he sells the new ones
on the side to make cash?

Oh, yes.

Little bastard.

Question two.

Is Colin banging Lydia
in cell phones?

Yes again.

Question 2a.

Does Lydia's boyfriend, Carl,

over in digital cameras
know about it?

He does now.

What?

How is he still
in the system?

I already
changed the password.

And the last question.

Does anybody mind
shopping in the dark?

I don't care, losers!

Oh, my God.

It's beautiful.

Look at it.

Look. Look at it.

Shut your eyes right now.

Ah! Neat!

Are you all right?

Yes.
What is it with the eyes?

The eyes
are the windows to the soul,

but I think also DNA.

Brilliant!

The optical nerve must act
like a coaxial cable,

downloading the virus directly
through the visual cortex.

Yeah.

At least
that's what it feels like.

Oh, my.

It appears I have
once again

looked upon something
I oughtn't have.

Yep.

Lock these doors, officer.

What? Why?
Who the heck are you?

Lock 'em.

Excuse me, everyone, may I
have your attention, please?

My name is
Dr. Vanessa Calder.

I work for the Center
for Disease Control.

We have a situation
here in the store,

and for your own safety,

I can't let anyone
leave here right now.

This is Calder.

Code November.

We have
a potential outbreak.

I tossed
Tyler's apartment.

There's nothing in there,
including Tyler.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm...
We're fine.

We're fine.

Uh, listen, Claudia,

- we need...
- The artifact,

so find him, all right?

Wait, wait, Artie,

I've been looking over
the code he used

when he hacked in,
and to hack in,

he used what's called
a battering ram.

It just smashes through
any firewall.

It's as nasty
as I've ever seen.

This guy's really good.

Yeah, all right, just...

Anybody here know

where would Tyler Struhl go
other than home?

He likes this coffee shop
at Fifth and Archer

to pick up girls.

How do you know that?

I...

I'm already there.

Vanessa.

How you doing, Hugo?

I am doing just fine.

I am construct...

I am constructing
an antivirus,

and as soon
as we have that artifact...

That's your department,
Artie.

We should be able
to cure everyone afflicted.

That's great. Thanks.

Based on
the rate of deterioration

of the previous victims,

everyone in this store
has less than six hours to live,

including Hugo.

This is the last place
to record

an artifact disturbance.

Richard Nixon's shoes
are gone.

So, I don't know.
Maybe I put 'em on

so I could lie to Steve
without him knowing.

We have to find them.

And none of these...

none of these explain
what happened between us.

Look, we aren't
the first platonic friends

to ever get wasted
and end up in bed together.

I would never do that!
I...

God, I don't
think of you that way.

And I don't think
of you that way, either.

It's just
you're my partner

and...and...and my best friend,
okay?

Nothing's gonna change that,

not even us having sex
and forgetting about it, okay?

So just, let's...
let's just forget about it.

Deal?

Deal.

All right.

Okay.

I found Steve.

Wow,
what is this place?

This is the bronze sector,

where we...Bronze stuff.

Mykes! Mykes!
Oh, my God, have you seen 'em?

- Where are they?
- I can't find 'em.

- Can't find what?
- I put some shoes in here.

He has
some favorite shoes.

My favorite shoes.

Uh, those?

We were looking.

You found 'em!

You found my shoes!

- You are so smart.
- Dude!

That is amazing! Aah!

Okay, you want me
to get 'em?

Sure, would you?

That's so awesome of you.

Whoo-hoo!

What is this?

We missed. We missed.

Hey, what is this, man?
It's not cool.

Don't worry, dude.
You'll thank me.

- Why?
- Because...

Probably not!

Ooh!

Oh!

Oh, I should have
told him to smile.

That's okay.
I'll take a picture.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay.

Okay, now do me.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay, let's
change him back.

Okay.

Okay.

Hmm...

Mm-hmm.

What's that?

- It's a spit lock.
- A what?

It reads the DNA
in your spit.

Cool.

Sample two denied.

Let's do it together.

Let's try it together.

I...oh...

Denied, denied, denied.

Oh, I got it
in my hair.

DNA!

I knew there was a reason
I had his toothbrush,

and I am so glad it wasn't
the reason I thought.

Does anybody mind
shopping in the dark?

Answer...

Hugo?

You all right?

Uh...Ahem.

Thank you.

Oh.

Seems I'm about to give
new meaning

to the phrase "Dirt nap."

You're
not gonna die, Hugo.

We're gonna...we're gonna
figure this thing out.

I know.

I've got a lot to live for.

You know, when I was
in the sanitarium,

I apparently drew the same
picture every single day.

I found one of them
in my wallet

after you restored
my mind last year.

Ahem.

There.

Huh.

So much time lost.

If I had it all back,

I'd spend every second
of it with her.

You'd be a fool not to.

Oh.

Did you ever find
someone, Artie?

Emet.

Oh. I didn't realize
you were homosexual.

Uh, are you
what they call a bear?

No, I don't mean
Emmett, the man.

I'm talking about "Emet."

Look, Emet,
the Hebrew word for "Truth."

It's on his necklace.

What does it mean?

It means
that what we are facing

is the artifact
that's behind the Jewish myth

of the Golem.

16th century Prague,

the Rabbi Judah Loew

wanted to save the Jews
of the ghetto from pogroms,

and so he constructed...

he created a creature...
a Golem...

Hugo,
entirely made of clay.

And he put the word Emet,
truth,

on the Golem's forehead
to bring it to life.

Animating the inanimate.

And I think
maybe the necklace

is making the computer virus
come to life

exactly the same
as the Golem.

Somehow,
I think that the myth

and the virus
got mixed up together,

so that when he uses
the virus

on people's computers...

It turned them to clay.

Well thought out, Artie.

It's the necklace.

I got him.

Oh, my God.

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

What the hell
are you doing?

Oh, my God!
He's got a gun!

Take it easy, Colin.

No. Whatever this is,

I am not gonna
die from it.

Something in here
is making us sick,

and you are keeping us
in here with it.

- This is for your own safety.
- No, careful, careful.

I'll decide
what's safe for me.

Use your Tesla.

- Claudia's got it.
- Brilliant.

Colin, I can't
let you leave.

I'll shoot you.

You'll have to.

Now the doctor's
got it!

We've gotta
get out of here!

He's right.
We're gonna all get out of here.

The virus is mutating.

It can be transmitted
person to person.

- It's organic.
- Obviously.

We can't let it get
out of this store.

No, no, no.

Unh!

Help!

Help!

Oh, my God. Look!

- Let us out!
- Everybody calm down!

Drop the weapon!

Now!
Okay. All right.

I'm dropping it.

Step away from the door!

This mutation's
working much faster.

It's getting hard
to breathe.

Okay.

I'm a big enough girl
to admit

I'm a little scared.

We need the artifact.

I know, I know,

but she said she's got him.
She's gonna be here.

You've got to finish
the antivirus.

You gotta do it now.
All right, I'll get on it.

Hang on, hang on.

Damn it.

Why are you chasing me?

I'm not chasing you.
I'm falling to my death.

Pull me up!

Thank you.

All I did I was hack
a few P.C.s

to try and catch
a little skin show. That's it.

For all I care,

you can be the biggest
cyber hacker since...

Me.

But I need
that necklace, okay?

It's dangerous.

What are you
talking about?

I don't know
how to explain it to you,

but it's...
It's hurting people.

It's nothing.

It's a thing
that my great uncle gave me

to ward off evil spirits.

Okay. Well, it doesn't
so much ward them off

as invite them over
for a play date.

Well, I didn't mean
for anybody to get hurt.

Well, give me the necklace
and maybe we can fix it.

But why would we
bronze Steve?

I mean, sure,
he's a boy scout

with no sense of humor,
right?

But we've got Nazis in here.

It explains
the toothbrush,

but not how we wound up
in bed together.

Pete, remember?

That thingy...that thingy
with the juggle balls said

that the juggle balls
make you drunk and black out,

and when you black out,

you forget things,
don't you?

Oh, my God!

Holy crap, Wendy!

Oh, my God!

You are so right!

Oh! If we don't remember what
happened to Mr. Poopy-Pants,

he could be lost
in there forever.

Quick!
Take off all your clothes!

- What?
- Take 'em off.

Okay, but sometimes
when big...

when big Pete
drives drunk,

little Pete doesn't
always stay on the road.

Ah.

Ohh!

Just waking up together
wouldn't be enough.

We got into bed naked

so it would look
like we slept together.

Something
that would never...

Ever happen.

Something that I knew
I wouldn't rest

until I proved
it was false.

Which would hopefully
get us to retrace our steps.

And lead us back
down here.

Ready?

Agent Nielsen identified.

What was that?

What did you guys do to me?
What happened?

What are you talkin' about?

Where the hell
have you been, Jinks?

Shouldn't you be
at target practice?

I'm actually disappointed
in you, Steve.

Shame, shame, shame.

Slacker!

Z-v...

26...

V-8...

Z-26.

What's the matter?

Hugo, you gotta
keep working.

We need the antivirus.

Artie,
I can't see.

Oh, my God.
All right, all right.

If you could just...
you tell me what to do.

Uh...Uh...

Artie, Artie, I need you
to tell Vanessa something.

You can tell her yourself
when you cure her.

Just tell me
what to type.

- All right, z-x...
- Yes, yes.

- Slash...
- Slash.

- V-37...
- V-37.

I'm here.
I have the necklace.

How do I get this to you?

Hold on. I'm coming.

Throw it at the window!

What...why?

It'll just bounce right...

Claudia, just do it.

How's your fastball?

Now!

Great. Come on.

I got it.

How?
How did you get it?

Got it
through the window.

I used the inkwell
of Francois Villon,

15th century poet
and thief.

Bad poet, great thief.

It doesn't matter.
Is the code finished?

Yes, it's finished.

Just hit "enter."

It'll disseminate
the antivirus.

But, Artie, curing
that many people at once,

there's no telling
what'll happen

to the person
wearing the artifact.

You're absolutely right.

Take care of her, Hugo.

Right.

Everyone, look...
look at the screens.

Artie...

You did it!

Artie.

Artie.

Is this heaven?

I guess not.

He didn't know
about the virus, Artie.

Artie! Claudia!
It's all good!

Vee talked to the hospital.

The young woman
is fine.

Oh, great.

- Huh?
- That's wonderful.

- Do we make a team?
- We do.

- All right.
- Yeah.

So you got plans now?

You're...you're probably
goin' back to Eureka.

Eureka? No.

I think I've had just
about enough of that town.

She spent some time there.

Every week, something
seems to go boom.

I mean, I think
I'm gonna look for something

a little more sedate,

a little more peaceful.

Well, I hope
you're happy.

I know I'll be happy.
Was this fun? Aah!

It was...Something.

Aw. See you, Hugo.

Hey.

What? Oh.

Hi.

Hi.

I have to go.

Yeah, I know.

I...I...

I figured.

Uh, listen, I know
that we had dinner plans,

but I hope

that you know I wish you and
Hugo nothing but the best.

Well, certainly,
if I'm wishing him the best,

I'm wishing him you,

because...

No, no, no.

When I said I have to go,

I mean,
I have to go home.

I'm going to Atlanta.

What?
But...You and Hugo are...

No, we are not.

We were.

Artie, when Hugo
looks at me, he...

He sees this girl.

This young girl,

she lives inside
of me somewhere,

but, you know, she's
just a small part of me now.

When you look at me,
you see me.

You, sir,
owe me a dinner.

A very nice dinner.

Eee!

Hey, look,
like I said to that girl,

I never meant
to hurt anybody, all right?

So, you know, maybe there
could be some consideration,

like, um, not sending
me to jail.

Take it easy, kid.

Somebody
wants to talk to you.

Maybe we can find a solution
to your legal troubles.

Who, like a lawyer
or something?

Somethin'.

Hey, man,
are you a cop or not?

Used to be.

In another life.

Hello there, Tyler.

I hear you're
very good with computers.

Use the siren, Marcus.

Our employer
is quite anxious

to meet with Tyler here.

== transcript by elderman ==