Warehouse 13 (2009–2014): Season 2, Episode 6 - Around the Bend - full transcript

Previously on Warehouse 13...

You want juice or are you
a milk person?

Know what I'd really like?

Oh, I do indeed,
but falling off the wagon...

May not be the best option.

Haven't seen you
around before.

Are you new?

Eight years, actually.

Just--just a minute.

What is this?

Sometimes he forgets we answer
to a higher authority.



What higher authori--

the Regents.

These are the Regents?

This waitress is a Regent?

Who would you have control
the Warehouse?

Kings?

Popes?

Politicians?

Be nothing left of it.

Mr. Valda, you tell me
right to my face.

Either fire me or kill me...

Or let me do my job.

A missing walking stick?

A stick that causes earthquakes?



Say it.

It doesn't mean
that this is it.

Oh, it kills you that
I figured out one first.

Just because
the robberies involved...

Earthquakes.

What some people reported
as earthquakes...

Ah!

And there happens
to be a piece missing

from a nearby exhibit
about an earthquake...

The largest one ever felt
in England,

a country not known for its
earthquakes, by the way.

It doesn't mean that
this is the artifact.

Chin up, Watson, old Bean.

We can't all be as brilliant
as Sherlock Lattimer.

Ahem.

Hey, Pete?
Yes?

Peruse their payroll?

After you.

Ooh.

Victory lap.

Will you get over yourself?

What's that you say?

Grow up.

Ahh.
Ooh, ooh!

News flash!
Stop.

Bering to admit she was wrong.
Stop.

Pigs standing by
for maiden flight.

Stop!

You do see the "do not touch"
signs everywhere?

New favorite job perk:

Officially allowed
to ignore velvet ropes.

I'm on this side.
I'm on this side.

I'm on this side.

Hey, Pete.
Yeah?

The sign for the stick
was still there.

Okay?

Well, the museum hasn't
reported a theft.

They haven't noticed it's gone.

He puts it back.

When he's not using it.

Whoa!

Oh!
Myka, look out!

Ah!

You okay?
Yeah.

Okay.
Okay.

That way?
I'm on it.

Secret Service.

One of your security guards
is getting away

with a stolen--
you, hold it!

I don't have time for this.

Mrs. Frederic?

It's no time to explain.

This is of the utmost secrecy.

You cannot tell Arthur
or even Agent Bering.

Okay.

I want you
to throw this mission

and let the artifact get away.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Mrs. Frederic,
what is going on?

That's an order,
Mr. Lattimer.

I'll contact you later.

Go!

Pete!

Pete, where's the guy?

I don't know.

I lost him.

I thought he was out here,
but he's gone.

Guess you can spare some time
for us now.

♪ Warehouse 13 2x06 ♪
Around the Bend
Original Air Date on August 10, 2010

Yeah, they're Secret Service.

We're not gonna press charges.

I thought fishing you
out of custody

would be like old times,
Lattimer,

but you and your friend are
both fully clothed.

They catch you too early
or too late?

Well, I've matured since then.

I get arrested in my pants
all the time now.

I'm guessing you two have met?

Kate Logan,
Chicago field office.

The cops called us
to check out your story.

And you heard my name and
wanted to see me.

You know, I could just
vouch for you

and we could leave him
at the early man exhibit.

Awesome.
I like her.

Hmm.

That's a good one.

I didn't know you transferred
to Chicago.

I didn't know
you transferred

to super-secret South Dakota.

Is that a promotion
or a punishment?

Yeah, well,
it depends on the day.

So far, today's good.

Anyway, I got to get back
to my case.

Ahh, yeah,
a stolen walking stick.

Defcon Four.

Well, it's part
of my new look.

You know, top hat, monocle,
big stick.

Mr. peanut.
Very sexy.

So, uh, you showing up
here means

I should call you, right?

Call, don't call.

Same as always.

Play date over?

Not if I can help it.

Thief's name is Lenny Malone.

Has a sheet--two petty thefts,
one assault,

and now he's in the wind.

We were in D.C. together.
We used to--

it's clear what you used to.

I'm more interested in what
happened here last night.

Nothing.

I just lost him.

You two out of the clutches of
the Lakefield Police Department?

Yes, thanks to Pete's
old girlfriend.

Yeah, I probably don't want
to know what that means,

but consider that
the frying pan.

Now get back here and brace
yourselves for the fire.

Hey.

So what's this about a fire?

Agents Bering and Lattimer,

back from losing
another artifact.

Once again involving
local police

and unauthorized members
of the Secret Service.

We didn't lose an artifact.
No, no, no, no.

I don't know who you are--
Myka, Myka--guys.

This is Benedict Valda.

He's one of the Regents.

Our Regents?
The Regents?

No, Pete, the South Dakota
college board of Regents.

Yes, the Regents.

That's unusual, right?

An in-person visit
from a Regent?

Was unusual for the first
30 years that I worked here,

but lately, I guess we just
can't be trusted to do our jobs.

Mr. Valda could have done
all this by courier,

not brought my agents back
from the field.

That's quite enough,
Agent Nielsen.

I brought these agents back
due to their repeated inability

to protect this organization
from unwanted scrutiny.

The Regents have decided
to become more hands-on.

Moving forward,
you can expect me to be--

all up in our dust traps?

Shh.

You, in particular,
miss Donovan,

should consider yourself
on notice.

Your inclusion
in this group at all

is a matter of lively debate.

Don't waste any time on me.

I'm just tech support.
Claudia.

Yes, you are.

Nuh-uh.

I got this.

Remember what I said.

I can input that.
I'll handle it.

I want you two back
in Illinois.

Find that stick.

Artie?
Artie?

What's going on?
Why can't I see that?

Is there something
about me on there?

I cannot believe
a Regent was just here

and he's pissed at us.

This is probably your fault.

I never thought I'd be
in a rush to get back

to Lakefield, Illinois.

Pete, you coming?

Uh, yeah.

I got a thing first.

I'm allowed to have a thing.

Okay.

You know, it's a strange time
to have a thing.

So what's with
all the cloak and dagger?

Keeping secrets from my team
really isn't my thing.

Get in.

Some of the Regents are
concerned about a pattern.

Artifacts being used
for criminal gain.

Like Malone
and the walking stick.

But that's not so unusual.

It is if it's someone
on the inside.

We have every reason to believe
that there's a breach,

possibly at a high level.

We need your help
in finding out who.

So if the Regents asked me
to throw the case,

why was Valda
tearing me a new one?

That visit was planned
some time ago.

Any changes might have alerted
our culprit.

Whoa, whoa.

Look, okay, wait.

You can't be thinking that
the breach is Artie or Myka.

Have you forgotten
recent events?

Could you doubt that anyone
could be compromised?

Okay, so then why trust me?

Because keeping secrets
from your team

really isn't your thing,
which makes you

the least likely suspect.

Have I chosen poorly?

No, ma'am.

If our hunch is correct,

Malone's supplier will try
to approach him

for his cut of the take.

Go to work as usual.

Keep your eye on Malone.

If you need to contact me,

you break the window
at the end.

This is strictly
between you and me.

Understood?

Good.

Hey, uh...

So are we, like, friends now?

Right.
See ya.

What are you hiding from me,
Artie?

Schmancy new security measures.
I am impressed.

But did we remember
all temp copies,

mirror drives,
and image backups?

Silly "wabbit."

Too easy.

"Donovan contingencies"?

Cool.
I'm the star of a Ludlum novel.

Look, it's encrypted.

That's so cute.

Chomp, chomp, chomp,
chomp, chomp, chomp.

So you think the cops
already tossed it?

No, this looks like Malone
grabbed some clothes and ran.

Power's off.

Uh...

Are you trying to, you know,
pump the electricity

up to the light or--

no.

Ha-ha!

Geez, God, Myka.

Well, is there something
down there?

No.
It's nothing.

I'm gonna go check his trash.

You keep poking around here.

Okay.
All right?

Yeah, okay.

Valda.

Pete?

Pete, where are you?

Someone there?

Pete?

I got him!

I got Malone!

Come on!

Wait a minute.
Wait--

wait a minute.
I Tesla'd the guy.

He was out cold.

Well, was he meeting someone?

Yeah, he was--

I mean, no.

I didn't see anybody else.

You're sure it was Valda?

1,000%.

Did he see you?
I don't know.

But now we know
it's not Artie or Myka,

so let's bring them in
on this.

Listen carefully.

The Regents have kill authority
on anyone

deemed a threat
to the Warehouse.

Telling the others will only
put them in harm's way.

Well, then let's bring this
guy down now.

Leaping too quickly
with someone like Valda

will put a bullet
in your head.

What we need is evidence.

Malone and the walking stick.

And I need for you
to find him first

before the police
or Agent Bering.

I'll contact those Regents
I know I can trust.

Patience, Mr. Lattimer.

Right, well, I'm not
too good with patience.

Challenge yourself.

Hey.
Hey.

Where have you been?

I had a car thing.

Wow.
You've been busy.

This is everything from
Malone's apartment.

You know, something doesn't
add up.

Okay, I'm him, right?

I have...

The walking stick.

I mean, why do I go back
to the apartment?

Did I stash something else
that I need?

Is that the walking stick?

No, Pete.
This is a snack.

Ah.

Mmm.

Myka?
Yeah?

Did you check
the last number dialed?

No, I didn't.

That's a good idea.

The phone Jack's over there.

Ahem.

Pines Place Motel.

If he wasn't meeting anyone
else in the apartment,

then why was he there?

Yeah, got me.

Is there anything?

Nope.

The last number dialed
was take-out.

Huh.

I'm gonna go check his trash.

You keep poking around here.

I got a thing first.

I'm allowed to have a thing.

I lost him.

You want to talk about this?

This is why I said
leave it alone.

Then maybe you shouldn't have
put it on the computer.

That's like me leaving a cake
out with a note on it

that says, "not for Artie."

That was one time and I--

don't you have a boyfriend
that you could be irritating

instead of me?

He dumped me.
Oh, I didn't know.

Do you want me to call him?
Artie!

This is a list of ways
to kill me.

Oh, they're not...

All killing you.

There's other options here.

"Erase her memory"?

Well, that's comparatively
humane.

"Drop her in a
non-English-speaking country"?

See, they're just trying
to stall for time.

They know you're gonna find
your way back.

That doesn't make me
feel any better!

Don't you think that there's
a file like this on all of us?

Don't you know that there's
one with my name on it?

And are you okay with that?

Claudia...

You are a valued member
of this team

and no one is gonna erase
your memory

or dispose of your body
in a vat of acid.

Is that on here too?

Oh, my God.

It's there?
Yeah.

Uh-huh.
Number 11.

Artie?

I think Pete's drinking again.

What?

No.

What?

No, no, no.

What?

We're just asking because
we're worried about you.

Yeah, bro.
We're your friends.

Tell me this is some
kind of a--

a weird, uncomfortable
surprise party.

Pete, you've been acting
strange this whole case.

You been lying.

You've been making up excuses
to be alone.

Look, your hands are shaking.

For crying out loud,
you--

you--

I'm sorry.

You guys, this is sweet, really,
but you're wrong, okay??

You're wrong.

In eight years,
I haven't even had

a virgin daiquiri.

Then what?

I'm not drinking.

That was quick.

Secrets are a naughty thing,
Peter.

You listen up, Valda.

Look behind the tree
in front of you.

Valda--

you two have been
busy little bees.

She'll never see your signal,
by the way.

Where is she?
She's alive.

I have a man watching her
through the scope of a rifle.

I need you to tie up one loose
end for me.

Oh, yeah?
And what's that?

Mr. Malone.
Where is he?

No, no, first, you call your
man off Mrs. Frederic.

I'm afraid not.

When I call you again,
be ready to deliver Malone.

Now how do I know you won't
kill her anyway?

You're in no position
to quibble, Peter.

I could kill your whole team.

Hey!
The others don't know anything!

Okay?
You leave them out of this.

That's entirely up to you.
Are we clear?

Here's what's clear, pal.

You tell me I have something
you want

and then you threaten
my friends.

So you are going down.

Game on.

Game on!

♪ ♪

He's not at the B&B.

His cell goes straight
to voicemail.

He's taking himself
off the grid.

He left this.

Agent Kate Logan.

Pete Lattimer.

Damn it.

Okay, uh, tell her
I need an address

for a Benedict Valda.

V-a-l-d-a.

Thanks.

Lakefield.

Pines Place Motel.

Hey, buddy boy.

Remember me?

I'm the guy from the museum

you tried to kill
with the battle Axe.

Now how do I find
Benedict Valda?

Who?
Valda!

Ah!

The guy you met
in the alley.

Or should I hand you over
to him like he wants?

I don't know any Valda.

Okay, all right, look.

I took the stick
from the exhibit.

I admit it.

You're working together.

I saw you paying him off.

Look, you're crazy, man.

No, no! Okay.
Where is it?

It's under the bed.

It's right under the bed.

Hey!
Hey!

Hey, handsome.

What can I get you?

You feeling all right?

Um, yeah.

It's just a long night.
That's all.

Thank God.
Hey.

Coffee?

Maybe you should stick
with decaf?

That's a good idea.

Two, please.

Coming up.

Okay, first, that message
was the least-romantic

Booty call ever.

What is with this
Valda character?

Why?
Why?

Did something happen?

Guy doesn't exist on paper,

but ever since I poked,
my place was trashed,

my phone's been bugged,
and someone's been tailing me.

When I find that S.O.B.,
I am gonna--

don't worry.

I'm a big girl,
but someone's definitely

sending a message.

Either that or you've gone
way too far

making up an excuse to see me.

No.

It isn't me.

You're still hot,
but not

"trash your place just
to get a date" hot.

It's happened.

I'm sure.

Okay, then...

Think it's time you let me in.

What's the division
you're working for?

Well, let's just say
I'm in containment of threats.

To the President?

To the planet.

Okay, okay. Right.
I know. I know.

I know it sounds like
I'm wearing a tinfoil hat

to keep the aliens from stealing
my thoughts,

but, Kate, I'm serious.

I can't tell you what I do.

Thanks.

Ahh.

So Valda,
how does he fit in?

He's way up the food chain,
and bad.

Like, Keyser Soze bad.

I don't think this is decaf.

Okay, how are you supposed
to find him?

When he came to visit us...

He had a driver and a limo.

So they had to get gas,
right?

Maybe he used
a credit card or,

you know, got themselves
on camera.

You're going to check
every gas station,

restaurant, and rest stop
for 100 miles?

Where I work, there's only,
like, six.

Still a lot of legwork.

Look, if your partner and
everyone you worked with

had their lives threatened,
wouldn't you do it?

Yeah.

Thanks for dragging me
into your fun world.

I thought you were happy
to see me.

I kind of liked you better
when you were helpless,

pantsless Pete.

Well, the pants
are imminently removable.

What?

I honestly had no idea

this is where my day
was headed.

Everyone's hands
where I can see 'em!

Logan, get out of here.

What?

Myka, what the hell
are you doing?

What am I doing?

You've gone AWOL.

You've stolen an artifact

and you won't tell anyone
what's going on.

What am I supposed to think?

Mrs. Frederic can explain it.

Mrs. Frederic is missing.

Valda is calling the shots

and he thinks you had something
to do with it.

Myka, Valda is the guy
I'm after.

If Mrs. Frederic is missing,

then he either has her
or she is dead.

Look, all I know
is I have my orders.

Don't make me do this
the hard way, Pete.

Ah!

Come on!

Pete,
do not get in that car!

Pete, please!
Hands on the wheel!

Hey, Myka!
Myka, put the gun away

and we'll talk, okay?

You have no idea what Valda
is capable of!

Pete, just come with me
and we'll sort this out, okay?

Lattimer, get in the car!

Logan, please!

I'm just trying to keep
you alive, okay?

Take the shot.
Take the shot!

No!

Oh, my God.
Kate.

Pete!

Wait.
Excuse me, ma'am.

Ma'am, you c--

it's all right.

Kate, Pete's in trouble.

Pete's stuck in some
sort of paranoid delusion.

The way that he ran.
The note.

He thinks that someone
is out to get him.

We don't have any
of the details yet,

but we think that
he was affected by, um....

Something during a mission.

Right.
Your "secret" missions.

Why come to me?

Well, one, he called you,
so whatever's going on

in his head, you must
be a part of it and...

Two...

Well...

He's back on your turf.

We pulled this off a Chicago
city surveillance Cam.

Yeah.

What is he doing?

I think he thinks
that he's kissing you.

Uh-huh?

But it could be you though,
right?

It's highly doubtful.

My money's on you.

Um, he left you a message?

Yeah, it was weird.

Here.

So why is he fixated on Valda?

I think his mind is scrambling
together details

from his life the way you
do when you're dreaming.

He's constructing
some kind of fantasy

with Valda and Malone,
the walking stick.

Well, could this walking stick
have caused it?

It didn't affect Malone.

No, I think whatever this is,
it started in that museum.

Did Pete touch anything
while you were there?

Artie, it's Pete.

It would be easier
to list the things

that he didn't touch.

Oh, God.
Okay, show me.

Okay, he played with,
um,

some of these billiard balls.

Myka, Myka, what else?
What else? What else?

Then he played
with these glasses

and this pipe.

Why did you let him touch
all those things?

What am I,
his kindergarten teacher?

Plus, you know,
we didn't know there

would be two artifacts
in the same place.

Myka, it's a museum.

It is filled with things
from historical events.

Anything there could
be an artifact.

You cannot let him touch
anything.

Artie, it's Pete, okay?

It's a win when he doesn't
lick anything.

Yes, what else?
All right, fine.

All right, he put
this thing in his ear.

That's a good way to get an
infection if you ask me, but...

Yeah.

Then he--

oh, he clicked this telegraph,
then--

oh, right, then he--
wait, wait, wait.

What?

Telegraph?
Go back. Go back. Go back.

Show me the telegraph.

Here you go.

It's military.
1860s.

Telegraph Island, Oman.

Telegraph Island?

Oh, my.
Wait, wait, wait.

I know that.
That sounds familiar.

Myka, wait.
Wait one second.

All right.
Telegraph Island.

A remote outpost between
England and India

in the mid-1800s.

Reported that every--

every soldier posted there
went violently insane.

Well, that--

it sounds "artifacty," right?

You think?

No, wait.

It hasn't affected anyone since.

Well, is this it or not?

Only one way to find out.

Pete, it's Myka.

Just tell me
that you can hear me.

Yeah.
Yeah, I can hear you.

I just don't know
what to say to you.

I keep--I keep telling
myself it wasn't our fault.

And I couldn't
say anything to you,

because I was trying
to protect you.

I'm here, Pete.
I'm safe.

Got Katie killed.

What?
No, no, Pete.

Kate's--
Kate's alive, okay?

I just left her.

Pete, you've been affected
by an artifact,

the telegraph.

I think you're hallucinating.

Valda's filled your head
with lies.

But I'm about
to fix all that.

So you, and Leena,
Artie, Claudia,

you guys will all be safe.

Pete, no, okay?

Don't do whatever it is
you're about to do.

Okay?

You might
feel something strange.

Anything?

I've been listening, Peter.
Valda?

Pete, did you hear
what I just said?

Where's Myka?

Now you've compromised
the others.

Do you realize
what I'll have to do?

Valda, I'll trade you
Malone for Mrs. Frederic.

I don't know how
to reach you.

You meet me
at the Kemper recycling yard.

Hey, boss.

There's no effect.

He's still inside
of whatever's going on.

At least now we know
where he's going.

And I think I have
just the thing

to restore Pete's
neural rhythm.

Agent Lattimer!

I understand you want
to speak with me.

What in God's name--

shut up.

I've heard enough
of your voice

to last a lifetime.

I don't know what this
is all about, Agent Lattimer,

but you have my attention.

All right?

You recognize this?

It appears to be the artifact
that you were after,

the walking stick.

"It appears to be the--

the artifact you're after."

Shut up!

We're all alone
out here, Valda.

Quit playing the game.

I got the stick,
I got Malone,

and I got you.

Now what did you do
with Mrs. Frederic?

Mrs. Frederic?

Look, I want to help you.

But none of this can be--

oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah!

Myka tried that line on me.

She was a good little soldier.

She fed me your garbage
about a telegraph

that's making me see things.

Telegraph?

Time is running out,
Benedict.

Telegraph.

What do you remember?

Is there anything
unusual about it?

Think!

Just stop trying
to confuse me!

I'm not confusing you.

You're seeing clearly.

Try to remember.

I said shut up!

Pete!

Agent Bering.

Be careful.

Myka!

Look, this is gonna sound
kinda freaky,

but...

Are you guys really here?

'Cause Valda's been messing
with my head,

and I don't know
what's real anymore.

Yeah, we're really here.

Okay? Pete?

And we're gonna help you
get outta this.

Oh, they're here, Peter.

Almost ready.

You really think
I'd come here

without backup?

Myka, you and Artie,

you gotta get outta here.

He's got--

he's got snipers
all over the place.

Where is Mrs. Frederic?

Artie.
Agent Nielsen!

I am aware of the urgency.

I've got something that'll reset
his neural rhythm--

the original studio master
of Oye Como Va.

Music to die by,
hey, Peter?

Just stop it!

You stop!

Ahh!

Okay, listen to me, Pete.

I really need you
to not do that again, okay?

The irony is Myka's
gonna kill you for me.

She has to protect
the Regent.

And then I'll kill them

before your body's
even cold.

This music
is just not getting through.

He's still listening
to that telegraph.

Myka, he wants
to kill us all.

You and Artie
just get outta here!

Agent Nielsen!

Yeah, I'm--
I'm working on it.

You back off!
You hear me?

You back off
or I'll kill him!

I've got to find
something that can--

I've got it.

Okay, Pete,
I'm gonna come over there,

and you're gonna
give me your gun, okay?

Here it comes, Peter.

Stop!

♪ ♪

Pete?

Pete?

Pete?

I hope the aural
and visual combination

shocked him back
to reality

and didn't turn him
into a...

Ow.

My eye's already open, Artie.

Geez.

Hey, are you okay?

Uh...

I have no freakin' idea.

Well improvised,
Agent Nielsen.

Yes, there is a madness
to the method.

Agent Nielsen.

Yes?

Oh.

Yeah, of course.

What happened?

It's a long story.

Oh, God.

Are you here to kill me?

If I was,
you'd already be dead,

and I'd be halfway
to dinner.

Yeah, you know, it's just

'cause I shot at a Regent.

Mr. Valda,
though unhappy,

understands
the circumstances.

Yeah, well...

I'm not sure I understand
the circumstances.

The telegraph
seems to have tapped into

some subliminal anxiety,

not surprising given what
you've all been through of late.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I just wanted to make sure
you were real.

Take some time off,
Agent Lattimer.

Yes, ma'am.

I'm just gonna
finish up these reports.

And, you know,
it's funny, we--

How does she do that?

I'll be at the Warehouse.

Oh, Artie, hey, listen,

I understand the need
for that contingency file.

So if you ever
have to take me out...

This is how
you want to die?

Yeah.

Well...

I do know how to reach
David Bowie.

Yes!

You rock.

Oh, Pete, there's an envelope
on the table for you,

from Kate Logan.

Ooh.
Are you gonna call her?

Nah, I don't think so.

Well, why not?

I mean, you must have
some feelings for her.

She was, after all,
in your fantasy.

Oh, well, thank you,
Dr. Freud.

Open it.

Open it.

"Hope you're better.

"Myka forgot this.

Thought you'd want it."

Oh, God.
What?

Just don't play that.

I mean, you're not interested
in her anyways, right?

So you can't--oh.
Pete, you're just--

what? What?
I'm not unless she is.

Ugh, oh, God.

You're gonna be embarrassed.

Pete, I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.
I'm so--

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Even by myself,
I still got moves.

Oh. Oh.

Yes, yes, yes.

You know they called me
"Gene Simmons" in High School.

Don't stop.

You're insane.