Vinyl (2016): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Racket - full transcript
Richie deal with his star Hannibal. Lester comes back for explanations. Devon looks for answers. The nasty bits are getting signed.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
All night long
Hey, now, now,
now, now
Hey, little baby
You been on my mind
Look in my dreams
Your taste
is all I find
Hey, now, darling
Where you stay out
all night long
I wanna tell you
You know
your daddy's home
All night long
Whoo
All night long
Lord, Lord, Lord
Please help me
find my way home
Lord, Lord, Lord
Please help me
find my way home
I was young
when I left
Didn't realize
what I was doing
I've had pains
and trouble
Ever since
I've been gone
(SOBBING)
I've had pains
and trouble
(MAN SOBBING)
Ever since
I've been gone...
(RABBI SPEAKING HEBREW)
Francis Rogers,
loving son to Natalie and Boris.
Buck to his many friends.
Cultural figure.
Generously supported the Federation,
the Sisterhood lunch,
the renovation of
the Bessie Weinbaum Memorial...
Excuse me, are you Richard Finestra?
No. He, uh, couldn't make it.
Just... He wanted to be here.
- RABBI: Owner of six stations on radio.
-(SIGHS)
Music, sporting events, traffic.
WBSO especially good for the traffic.
(RICHIE GRUNTING)
Okay, now say it.
(PANTING)
Selling the company really fucked with me
in ways I didn't anticipate.
I didn't get how much
it brought up shit about my father
and everything.
And Buck's funeral today.
They're putting the man in the ground,
I'm not even there, okay?
Which shows you how committed I...
He refers to Buck Rogers as
"that psychotic dipwad."
Don't roll your eyes. Put it into the couch.
(GRUNTING)
DOUG: There we go.
Put it into the couch, not your marriage.
RICHIE: Fucking bitch!
(PANTING)
How does that feel?
Yeah, better, actually.
I don't want to take it out on her.
- On you.
- Who?
- Devon.
- Yeah.
Say it to her.
- I don't want to take it out...
- I got it, thank you.
Good. Why don't you give it a try?
Whacking the couch? I'm okay.
If you were okay, you wouldn't be here.
The racket's not gonna help.
DOUG: I think it helped Richie.
We got him to talk about
what's happening with him
without attacking your relationship.
Both of you need to identify who you are
outside of the marriage.
That's important for you, too,
particularly now that
Richie is looking at his own shit.
Mmm, so now Little Richie's feeling better.
I fucking hate it when she calls me that.
I don't want him to feel better.
I want him to feel worse.
- You see this shit?
- DOUG: Devon.
Our marriage is based on an agreement
that nobody does drugs.
Ah, this is how this goes,
nobody but me ever did anything.
Because when we do,
people end up in the hospital
on life support or dead.
Mea culpa, okay? Nobody got hurt this time.
You have two healthy children.
What do you want me to say?
Not that you feel better!
DOUG: Devon, I hear how angry you are.
You have every right to be.
I want you to pick up the racket
and let the couch absorb...
He's ruining my life!
I'm not hitting the fucking couch
with a tennis racket!
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
Oh, Candida
We could make it together
The further from here...
ls he trying to kill me?
Leo, the station.
-(RADIO STATION CHANGES)
- SCOTT: Come on.
Well, at least we don't have to
worry about him boycotting us anymore.
(CHUCKLES)
Buck.
The man was murdered.
I'm just saying.
Silver lining.
See that guy talking to me, at the service?
Brown suit.
Thought I was Richie.
You would dress better.
(CHUCKLES)
- You know, if you were Richie.
- Yeah, I follow you.
SKIP: Probably a bill collector.
Schulman says
there's some fishy shit in the books.
- Who's Schulman?
- The forensic accountant. Did he call you?
He had some questions I tried to answer.
It didn't add up.
Somebody's playing shell games.
No, no, if Richie drained
the goddamn company,
why didn't he unload it
when he had the chance?
'Cause he's a coke fiend back on coke.
- You're looking for logic?
- He's under a lot of pressure.
- A lot of pressure.
- Oh, really? Whose fault is that?
Yeah, he's got all of A&R shitting their pants.
I mean, he's really gonna fire them
if they don't sign an act in a week.
Yeah, why the fuck not?
You should find an act.
It ain't rocket science.
You throw a brick in this town,
you hit somebody singing a song.
Bette fucking Midler got discovered in
a feygele bathhouse.
(PHONE RINGS)
I have a girlfriend.
I don't hang out at feygele bathhouses.
LEO: Hey, Zak, I got Richie.
- Give me him. Give it to me.
- Give it.
ZAK: Give me the phone.
JULIE: Here, give him more cord.
It doesn't reach.
- Hand me the phone!
- You're gonna break it.
You're gonna break the fuckin' phone!
- You're holding it.
- ZAK: I got it. Leave it alone.
JULIE: It's stuck.
SCOTT: Come on.
ZAK: Fuck.
Hey, I thought you were gonna be there.
Had to meet somebody. How was it?
ZAK: Fucking freak show.
Couldn't call me
and let me know you're not coming...
Hey, you didn't think I wanted to be there?
I wouldn't miss a goddamn funeral unless
there was a significant thing.
Well, I would have appreciated a warning.
I got to tell everybody you're late.
ZAK: Then there's this other guy
coming around.
- And then I don't know who he is.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen to me.
Okay? I got Hannibal coming in today
to get fluffed before we re-up his contract.
How about you and the guys grab lunch
before you come home?
You know, so he doesn't feel swamped.
ZAK: Don't we want him to feel swamped?
Fuck! Well, Skip won't shut up
about the royalty rate,
and Julie gave him all that shit about
the fucking synth on the last album.
No, Julie's in the studio today
and Skip's making sales calls,
so I can ditch Scott, so...
RICHIE: Hey, are we arguing about lunch?
Get a drink. What's the problem?
Yeah, fine, okay. Whatever.
Fuck.
(SIGHS)
I just had this pressed.
I'm calling Joe Smith at Warners today.
Beg for a fucking job.
You're gonna walk away from
a 22% stake in the company?
Oh, my stake in the company.
My stake is now worth zero.
- Just fucking relax.
- You fucking relax.
- I lost everything.
- We all lost everything.
Nobody hires you right now.
You tanked the buyout. You smell like a turd.
Get out of the fucking limo
if it's such a hardship.
What, you were really gonna retire
after that buyout?
And do what? Paint Moira's toenails?
And you, you think
you'll ever get pussy again,
you're not a record man?
Bunch of whiners. Enough already!
Watch your leg.
This is my side of the car, that's your side.
- What, are you six years old?
- SCOTT: Yeah, maybe I am.
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
(HORNS HONKING)
(SIREN CHIRPING)
You recording today?
Goulet, the Christmas album.
Oh, yeah, my mom loves him.
Do me a favor, look out the window.
Play the license plate game, all right?
In silence.
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
Everything is beautiful...
(TSKS) Leo! You're killing me.
(RADIO STATION CHANGES)
- Just a minute.
-(PHONE RINGS)
Cece, he's here.
People, let me tell you
about a place I know
To get in
it don't take much dough
Where you can
really do your thing
Oh, yeah
It's got
a neon sign outside
That says come in
and take a look at your mind
You'd be surprised
what you might find, yeah
Strobe lights flashing
from sunup to sundown...
There he is. Give me five, my brother.
Look at that. We got a butterfly.
What's your name, butterfly?
- Cece.
- Cece.
Hal has the big room all set up.
- Can I walk you in?
- Yeah, we got ribs, brisket.
- You remember that place...
- We're vegetarian now.
Get this shit out of here. Move. All of it.
You don't got no Danish
at 11:00 in the morning?
Uh, of course we do, sweetheart.
Jamie, uh, go down to Goldie's.
Uh, twenty-five Danish, no poppy.
Uh, it sticks in the teeth. Am I right?
RICHIE: Where is he?
Hannibal! Unh!
Somebody get me a marker
so this man can sign my chest.
HANNIBAL: Hairy motherfucker.
How I'm gonna sign that?
Come on, give it to me. (LAUGHS)
I see you, Starr.
I see you like a goddamn poem.
So fucking beautiful.
(LAUGHS) I love you, baby.
Me, too.
Somebody get the queen
some champagne, please.
Uh-huh.
- Mmm.
- You got your own poem.
Oh, yeah, huh?
I guess I'm not as dumb as I look.
You're gonna have a drink with me, right?
Penny, Jamie hook you up?
Yep. How's everybody doing?
Oh, yes.
STARR: My favorite white girl.
PENNY: Forgive me.
Hannibal.
RICHIE: We're not talking deal points, Harvey.
We're just two big boys
having a drink, am I right?
- No numbers, okay?
- We good, bro.
- Get some fruit. He got to reduce.
-(LAUGHS)
Fucking fat ass.
RICHIE: I got something
that's waiting for you.
JAMIE: Five cheese, five apricot.
No, no poppy. I'll be right down.
- You meet him?
- JAMIE: No, you?
I will.
I just found these two guys
who sound exactly like Humble Pie.
Do you really need me
to break this down for you?
Find somebody who sounds exactly like
nobody you've ever heard.
Oh, now she's the Dalai Lama.
Look, the Nasty Bits suck my balls.
Just because Richie...
I don't want to get into this with you.
Oh, okay, then they're geniuses
and I just don't get it?
You're right, you just don't get it.
You think I could fire her, huh?
You haven't found anybody, huh?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(TEA KETTLE WHISTLING)
How's Starr treating you?
HANNIBAL: Starr want me dead.
That's why I can't go nowhere without her.
Can't give her no time to plan.
So, Harvey walk you through the changes?
We weren't gonna talk business.
I'm not negotiating, brother.
I just hope that he told you
that we rolled over on basically everything.
I'm a dog laying on the floor
showing you my belly.
(RICHIE CHUCKLES)
Jackie Jervis sent me a case of Dom.
Jackie Jervis is a twat.
He suck you off, too?
HANNIBAL: He didn't have to.
All the Dom I drank, I got too tired.
You know how many funk acts
they have over there at Koronet Records?
- Not gonna remember your name.
- He said my name a lot.
- He got it down.
- Oh, yeah?
Can I interest you in this?
Or do you want to run home to Jackie's Dom?
(CHUCKLES)
- Give me that.
- Line it up.
I want to throw something
on the pick for you.
I want you to listen to this horn.
This is the cat who played with Les McCann
on Compared to What.
- HANNIBAL: That's a hot track.
- No shit.
- Listen to this.
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
(HANNIBAL SNORTING)
Hey. Hey, me, too, motherfucker.
You off the wagon? Shit.
Listen, listen.
Ooh! That's a mean horn.
I'm putting him on your next album.
-(SNORTING)
- My ma coming to the show tonight.
Front row.
Esther? She's a fucking pistol.
Rein it in with the chicken.
Last time she saw you,
she started bringing over trays of that shit.
"You give this to Richie.
His folks both in the ground now.
-"Somebody got to take care of him."
- Well, she's fucking right.
How come you didn't bring
me my fucking chicken?
- I ate it. Man, Starr only cook vegetarian now.
-(LAUGHS)
Fucking nasty shit.
We're running the world,
we can't get a bite to eat.
You better not
run this world into the ground, Mack.
Selling your label, not selling your label.
I heard Dusty Springfield bailed.
Dusty Springfield's a fuckin' loon.
Have a little faith, how about?
Do I not take care of you?
Have I not always taken care of Hannibal?
Found a couple of
your fucking groupies downstairs.
Oh, my goodness. Hi.
RICHIE: Cece brought out
the new Bobby Womack.
Playing it for Starr right now.
(CHUCKLES)
All right, sugar.
You better pinch me, make sure I'm real.
-(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
- Sorry. I need to get out. Thanks.
Hey.
Shall we?
JAMIE: Uh...
(MOUTHING)
Let me just see what's going on back here.
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
-(lNDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
LESTER: I need to see Richie.
Do you have an appointment?
Tell him Lester Grimes is here.
- Does that mean you have an appointment?
- Yeah.
Trying to sign with him?
I can slip him your tape.
Oh, yeah? You an American Century artist?
I'm here to sign.
Sorry, just a few more minutes.
- You want a drink?
- We want to sign the bloody contract.
Lester?
What the fuck?
Welcome to American Century.
Get ready to take it up the ass.
(SCOFFS)
MAN: (ON RADIO)
The news watch never stops.
You really think Richie's skimming?
Probably. Selfish piece of shit.
- I bought my in-laws a condo. Boca.
- Mmm.
- You get a deal?
- No, I didn't. I didn't.
They were gonna move in with us.
And I was saving my life.
I thought I was about to make millions
from the sale of a company.
Eight years cleaning up after him
like the asshole behind the elephant.
What's with you? You don't seem
to give a shit that the sale tanked.
I give a big shit.
I was gonna stay with them, PolyGram.
- Maybe work at the headquarters.
- Germany? (SCOFFS)
Fucking kike.
What, are you gonna pass as an Italian?
No, stop. It's different now. West Berlin is...
It's a happening place.
Culturally.
Well, you're not going.
Did you ever meet him before? Hannibal?
Once, twice.
The big acts,
Richie doesn't want you to come around
because you'll steal his thunder.
I can't come home with a napkin
that he signed? That's all.
You know, I listened to Hannibal
when he was still called Lyle Hanny.
I brought an act in once. A girl with a guitar.
So sweet, you just... You wanna die.
Irish. Not that Celtic crap.
She wrote a, uh, song about a boat.
He says, um, "You don't got an ear, Zak.
"Yeah, but that's okay
'cause you got a nose for promos."
That's his rhyming couplet.
This artistic visionary
that we're following off a fucking cliff.
Hey, listen to me, Zak, you got a great ear.
I do or I don't, who gives a shit?
I got relationships with every DJ
in the United States.
Yeah.
Mobile, Alabama, has got two broads
playing the tin cups, I know about it.
And if Mobile loves them,
I take them national.
That's how we got Wilson and Chick.
- And the...
- Penny.
The Penny Fliers.
I'm a relationship person.
Richie Finestra,
he's got a relationship with himself.
This is bloody. I can't eat this.
- Ma'am.
- Medium well.
-(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
-(COINS RATTLE)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
SKIP: Thank you.
Ah!
Money
Get away...
Hey, Skippy, we got a card game Thursday.
- I bet we can make room.
- Fuck off, Moose.
More pay and you're okay
Money
It's a gas
Grab that cash
with both hands
And make a stash...
This one of mine?
Pink Floyd. Capitol. Just released.
How come I never walk in here
and find you playing my shit?
I got a Puerto Rican chick
for questions like that.
But she's got tits like helium balloons,
so from her I'm willing to take it.
I need you to hold off on
the extracurricular Donny Osmond run.
- The fugazis?
- Yeah.
I pressed them Friday. We're very efficient.
Well, sit on them a couple of weeks.
The trucks went out this morning.
It's already at the Goody stores.
What the fuck?
I ask you to run something,
I normally got to stand here
and threaten to piss in your face
before it gets done.
- I quit drinking. I had a heart scan.
- Oh.
Three nights in the hospital.
Turns out I can get a lot done in a day.
Mario, do you have any fucking idea
what you just did?
I am feeling better, thank you very much.
They're auditing my company.
I can't have 10,000 fake Donny Osmond
returns showing up, right?
It'll be more than we pressed in the first place.
So next time, do the math
before you order an illegal run.
Hey, I paid for that run, I can't sell it.
I feel terrible for you.
Now don't give me that look.
Don't give me that look!
You made this bed, not me.
You're a moaning asshole.
My blood pressure was 180 over 90!
Man, fuck the coat.
I'm gonna get you an actual leopard.
Like a baby one?
Yeah, you can't get them old
or they'll eat your face off.
Cece, I want to take this kid out
after his show tonight,
so book a table for everybody, okay?
We're gonna have a goddamn vegetarian orgy.
Rice. Whatever you want.
Richie, there's a detective calling for you.
Take a message, for Christ's sake.
Rich.
Ain't I clean
Bad machine
Super cool
Super mean
Feeling good
for the man
Superfly
here I stand...
Richard, I need to speak with you.
Hey! Do you know Hannibal?
Hannibal, this is Robert Goulet.
You think you got to tell me that?
He's fucking Lancelot.
Man, you the whole salami.
Oh, look at that, you're the salami.
Shouldn't you be in the studio?
JULIE: Bob.
Bob, can you have a seat in my office, please?
No, I have one original song
on this album of warmed-over slop.
If we start on the original material...
It's about the day after Christmas.
It's an untouched market.
You want to stick your head in the oven,
you hear this song.
There he is! Zak is back.
Take your time, honey.
Been at lunch since breakfast.
Uh, would you offer Bob a drink, please?
I'll be in in a minute, okay?
Hannibal, I fucking love you.
- He doesn't give a shit.
-(CECE CHUCKLES)
Five minutes.
Superfly here I stand...
JAMIE: Oh, Richie...
Baddest bitches
in the bed...
- HANNIBAL: Buy these for yourself?
- But they're not real.
HANNIBAL: They don't need to be real.
Next to these eyes,
real rocks is a waste of bread.
JAMIE: Hey.
This how he treats all his bands?
I'm so sorry. It's crazy here today.
- Fucking bullshit.
- Have you had lunch?
No.
There's a diner called Munson's up the block.
We ain't signed.
We ain't got no money.
LESTER: What'd you think
was gonna happen?
I don't...
Even if you managed to sell this sorry shit
as an album, what then?
The fucking Mike Douglas Show like this?
Am I a sideshow monkey, man?
Put me in a little vest?
- Shut the fuck up.
- You got a guilty conscience
and this is your solution?
Ten years and this is what you come up with?
Yeah, man, that's it! That's all I got!
You don't like it, get the fuck out!
Fuck.
I listened to that shit.
That's my fault.
It's been years since I heard what I used to...
Why didn't you just fucking
hit me with a bat like Galasso did?
- Ain't no difference.
- Lester, if I thought for one second
that this was gonna hurt...
Look, I swear to God, man, I just thought that
if we took those tracks...
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Oh, that's great. Very nice.
Oh, come on, man. Yeah, that's really great.
Thanks. Cece, get me some water, please.
- Cece, get me some water!
- Holy shit!
Cece, get me a fire extinguisher!
WOMAN: What's happening in there?
- Back, now.
- Are we getting water?
- Cece, anybody, get me some water!
- I sent someone, Richie.
JAMIE: Hurry up!
CECE: Get the hell out of there!
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
CECE: Go away! Get out!
- RICHIE: What the fuck?
- Holy shit.
Fucking kidding me?
Fuck!
(SINGING) Crybaby
Cry baby
Cry baby
Honey, welcome back home
I know she told you
Hon, I know she told you
that she loved you
Much more than I did
But all I know
is that she left you
And you swear that you
just don't know why...
WOMAN: This was when?
DEVON: Uh, a couple weeks ago.
WOMAN: You, too, or just the den?
Excuse me?
Any physical abuse in the marriage?
Oh, no, no. Not in... No.
No, you don't need to write that down.
It was an accident.
(SCOFFS) ls that what women say?
I get a lot of clumsy women.
That's not what this was.
It was a car accident.
As much my fault as Richie's.
So you can cross that out.
How about I do my part, you do yours?
I don't want you suggesting in your records
that I have an abusive husband.
He abuses drugs.
That's different.
I want it to be about what it is.
- Drug abuse.
- And alcohol.
- Which, for an addict with a history of...
- Accidents.
Is this supposed to feel
like a cross-examination?
It's not supposed to feel very nice.
And if someone told you it would,
they misled you.
You expect sole custody of the children?
No.
He's a good father.
He's never exposed the kids to...
I thought your son
found him drunk on the couch
with the rectangular guitar.
Shared custody.
Because he's a good father?
Yes.
Sylvia!
Invoice the hour.
You want the questionnaire?
Sure, what the hell?
You bring a checkbook with you,
Mrs. Finestra?
- Yes.
- Great.
There's a $150 charge for this meeting
and Sylvia will give you a questionnaire.
You can fill it out at home.
Your secretary said on the phone
that there would be no charge
for the initial consultation.
- Well, she was mistaken.
- What if I hadn't brought my checkbook?
Lucky for me you did.
If you think this somehow
makes me more comfortable
with the idea of you handling my divorce...
You're not getting divorced, Mrs. Finestra.
You just wasted an hour of my time
generating a card to play
in the next fight you have with your husband.
That is
the most condescending thing anyone...
You love your husband, sweetheart.
I wish you didn't.
He sounds like a real asshole.
If I'm wrong, fill out the questionnaire
and we'll discuss it the next time we meet.
$150. My last name is Gross.
Spelled like "Wow, that was really gross."
One, two, three, now
(MUSIC PLAYING)
They could care less about you
They could care less about me
As long as they are to end
the place that they want to be
They're always wearing false smiles
I guess it goes with their style
Politicians in my eyes...
LESTER: You get an idea, you can't shake it.
Hum along with it when you're on a train.
You like it for a minute, but then you hate it.
It ain't good enough,
but you write it down anyway
just to get it out of your head.
Then you pull out your guitar,
see if it might stand up.
Your mouth, your thought, your hand.
Put a microphone in your face,
somebody hits record. Hmm.
Now you sign a deal with a label,
paid you a big chunk of change
to cut an album,
so you're feeling like the man,
but they gonna hit that pile of cash,
pull out a stack to pay for the studio,
the guy pushing the button and the cover art
and the poster and the launch party.
That's called recoupment.
Cut the record, it sells in stores,
shop gets half.
Take out a buck for the manufacturing.
Buck and a half for the distribution.
Buck for marketing.
Not a whole lot left for you.
But, even if there is,
you don't get to see a dime of it
till they pay off your production costs.
Probably need to sell
100,000 records to do that.
A hundred thousand is more people
than you'll ever meet in your life.
You know the difference
between mechanical royalties,
performance royalties, artist royalties,
songwriting royalties?
All that shit's gonna show up
on a stack of paper,
your name at the bottom under a dotted line
like it's already done.
And Richie Finestra's gonna hand you
a drink and a pen.
He knows that
every single one of those things
is negotiable down to 100th of a percent.
I know.
Only ones that don't know is you.
And you're the ones holding the pen.
CECE: Hannibal said he'd put me on the list
for the show tonight.
- RICHIE: Good for you.
- You're going, too, right?
What do you want, a ride in the limo?
Are you gonna change before the show?
I take off the jacket, it's a whole nother story.
All right.
Goulet wants to record an original song,
I think we should let him do it.
- Throw him a bone.
- You're the one who thinks
we're getting evicted,
so if you want to do it...
You're the one who wants new material, okay?
He's got a fresh idea. It's worth trying.
Got him in here anyhow.
Not like we got to hire an orchestra.
You know what, we're here arguing
and they're sitting in the studio
burning up the hour...
I said yes.
What, you want it in a telex?
(SIGHS)
Richie, you're signing the Nasty Bits.
- You can do it in Julie's office.
- Can't I get one minute?
No. They've been
sitting here for the entire afternoon.
- Try and look excited, okay?
- Shut the fuck up.
Hey, there they are. The Bits.
We were listening
to your demo this afternoon.
- It was so hot, set my office on fire.
- Shit.
Cece's gonna open a bottle of champagne
so we can all get shit-faced, okay,
before you throw your chop on the line.
Come on.
Get in there, you nasty, Nasty Bits.
Hey, coffee.
We want to
go over a couple of deal points first, yeah?
Yeah, okay. Sure.
Our manager's gonna join.
He just went to take a leak.
You got a manager?
Good, one less thing to figure out.
- Yeah, there he is.
- Great.
You two go back, right?
I don't need to do no introductions.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Fuck.
Piece of...
Hey, you gotta buy that, man.
(MUSIC STOPS)
What the hell are you doing?
You can't touch that.
I'm gonna have to call my manager.
SKIP: You take this off the platter,
I get you fired.
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
- Okay, sunflower?
Hey, why is my Donny Osmond display
shoved in the back of the window
behind the Dueling fucking Banjos?
People love those banjos.
That fucking retarded kid.
But I paid you for the front row.
I want to see Donny Osmond's face,
he's got half a nose out there.
Okay, okay. I'll fix it.
Okay, Mario just sent you
an overrun of the Osmond.
I want you to hold off on it for a while.
- You kidding me?
- No.
Gonna put the whole operation
on ice for a couple of months.
Fuck that.
I got two dozen copies of that fucking record.
I want my return money.
No, you can return what you'd have normally.
No extras, okay?
'Cause I got accountants
crawling up every orifice this week.
- That's your problem, man.
- Oh, you want to blow the whole gig?
You don't need the extra cash?
They pay you so much as a manager
of shoving paper clips up his ass,
you don't want a cut anymore?
Why can't Mario take them back?
Because Mario's a fucking asshole.
Like you're a fucking asshole.
He gets a cut, you get a cut.
-I'm the only one taking risks.
- Oh, you don't get a cut?
You bought that shit-brown Camaro on
what you won betting on the Mets?
I take plenty of risk.
Howard's been sniffing around here
all the time now that his wife left him.
And I'll tell you what risk I'm not gonna take.
I'm not storing 50 boxes
of illegal Donny Osmond albums.
I'm gonna lose my job.
I just bought a bumper pool table.
I can't be out of work right now.
You destroyed my office!
That's 10 grand worth of damage in there.
Fucking gold records warped.
Let's talk about the band's advance.
You're a fucking manager,
I'm Venus on the half-shell.
I am, and I'm gonna specialize in
people Richie Finestra's ready to gut.
Let me ask you something.
In what universe
do you think these shit palms
-pay a black man 20% of their dough?
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Richie, we gotta swing. Snow's gonna start.
RICHIE: Yeah, I'll meet you there.
Uh, should I take the limo?
How about you take a cab?
ls that too much of a hardship?
Thirty-grand advance.
Fifteen, which is five more than they're worth.
Thirty, and you stay out of the studio.
Get the fuck out of my office.
They have a right to preserve their sound.
You don't give a crap about their sound,
you tripped over them in my lobby.
They have a raw energy. I wanna protect that.
You wanted to protect me,
so that ain't something that inspires much.
You know something?
You overestimate
how shitty I feel about what happened to you.
My label, my artist.
I wanna mix that fucking record myself,
I'll do it.
Twenty grand.
The future is not
what it seems...
(RICHIE SIGHS)
I'd offer you a drink, but you're an asshole.
Qué sera
When I saw you
outside your building that night,
what was playing?
Some kind of bongo beat
under a funk something.
Oh, this kid, Kool Herc,
plays two records at the same time.
Turned my fucking head around.
I had to stop the car.
Does he write his own stuff?
You never stop hustling, do you?
You better hope I don't.
Qué sera
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADSET)
(SIGHS)
(PEN SCRATCHES)
(SIGHS)
Hey. So you found an act, huh?
Yeah, man, I think so. Called Veiniacs.
- The Veiniacs.
- No, just Veiniacs.
Are they, uh...
What are they like?
If T. Rex and Sweet fucked,
had a baby raised by Dr. John, you dig?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah. They're black guys?
- No.
- Really?
Did you not, um, find any?
- Black bands?
- Yeah.
I did.
Didn't want to go that way?
Yeah, no.
I feel that, you know?
You don't want to be pigeonholed.
You think I'm here
just to bring in the brothers?
Hey, no, I mean, we're all just here to be
who we are.
Did Julie say something?
Uh, about?
I'm supposed to only bring in R&B and funk?
No, no. I mean, he may have said something.
I don't really remember.
You know?
- You want some coffee?
- No.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
MALE ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
the man of the hour.
Put your hands together for Hannibal!
Yeah!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(VOCALIZING)
MAN: (SINGING) Hannibal
CHORUS". We want you back
MAN: Hannibal
We want you back
CHORUS: We want you back
MAN: I said Hannibal
We want you back
CHORUS: We want you back...
STARR: Nobody got the carrots
like I asked for.
Excuse me.
Bitch, get a hobby.
You see how these bitches
want something for free?
You see that one back there?
- WOMAN: Hey, Starr.
- Hey, Deirdre.
Chew on a stick.
Baby, why are you not wearing the scarf?
Shit. Where it at?
Get that goddamn scarf!
You gonna walk slow?
Oh, my God.
Supposed to be good for the throat.
- Oh, yeah?
- Not really.
But it shuts him up.
Hannibal!
Jackie Jervis. Look at you.
That's some bad pants.
I want some pants like that.
(CHUCKLES)
I'll take them off. You can wear 'em.
Get out the way.
Andrea, baby.
You so hot, you dangerous.
- Oh, can I eat you alive?
- HANNIBAL: Mmm-hmm.
ANDREA: Ooh, you smell like cookies.
MAN: (SINGING) I said Hannibal
We want you back
CHORUS". We want you back...
You know Cece?
Jackie Jervis and Andrea.
- She so fine, she don't need a last name.
-(LAUGHS)
CECE: Nice to meet you.
- Cece work for Richie.
- Oh, yeah?
- Is he lurking around here?
- He's on his way.
Oh, well, maybe I should leave.
I don't want to show him up.
He'll be here in a minute.
Just stuck in a meeting. New artist.
Wow, you're already
yesterday's news over there, huh?
(LAUGHS)
MAN: (SINGING) Hannibal...
- Was the opening act one of yours?
- What? No, man.
I'm not here to see your opener, motherfucker.
I'm here to see you.
I don't care whose label you're on.
- L'm a fan of your music, man.
-(CHUCKLES)
- He's smooth.
- Mmm.
Hey, you better play Up the Kleedle tonight.
-lt's my favorite song.
- Gogo!
We got Up the Kleedle on the list tonight?
Put it on!
I have the artist stage right.
Hannibal, we're ready for you.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
JACKIE: All right, Hannibal.
Whoo!
Hannibal!
- Whoo!
- All right, baby.
(CROWD CHEERING)
WOMAN: (SINGING) Hannibal
MAN: Put your hands together
(CROWD CHEERING)
Just clap your hands like this, here.
Come on. Let's go.
(SINGING) Come here, kitty
Got a bottle of wine
Come on, kitty
Want to kill some time
Who knows when they gonna
drop the bomb on us?
Singing everybody
better get along
CHORUS: It's all right
Lady
Let's make a baby
It's all right
Lady
Let's make a baby
Sing, girl
So what you saying
to me, brother'?
That every woman
got to be a mother?
Maybe that's
not my scene
Oh
If you know
what I mean
I'm talking about
love, love, love
I'm talking
about love
I'm talking about
love, love, love
Yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah
Whoo
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Whoo
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady
Everybody sing
It's all right
Lady, let's make a baby
All right
Lady, let's make a baby...
Richie, Cece's on the phone.
She says Jackie Jervis is at the show
and he's all over Hannibal.
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Do you want to talk to her?
- No.
No, just tell her to keep him away from Jervis.
Offer to blow him in the corner.
Some fucking thing.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hannibal or Jervis?
(SNORTS)
What?
Should she offer to blow?
It's an expression.
Hannibal, should the opportunity arise.
Tell Leo to bring the car around. Fuck.
- What are you doing?
- Uh...
Those two guys right there
want to talk to you.
They're detectives.
Why'd you let them back here?
Well, nobody's out front.
I'm covering Cece's desk so you're not alone.
- Should I...
- Well, I think at this point,
you got to let them in.
Hey. guys. What's up?
DETECTIVE RENK: Hey.
DETECTIVE WHORISKY: Hey.
DETECTIVE RENK: What happened here?
Oh, uh...
Sprinklers.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
It's not really a good time.
Besides, I already talked to Voehel.
Somebody's got your hoe in the same row.
Voehel?
Yeah, Detective Voehel.
I hate to eavesdrop.
Did I hear one of the gals say
Robert Goulet was here today?
- Yeah.
-ls he making a record?
- Yep.
- I knew it.
That's terrific. When can I purchase a copy?
- Christmas. It's a Christmas album.
- Oh.
What you gonna call it?
I don't know.
Something like
Robert Goulet's Christmas Album.
Ch.
How about something in a neighborhood of
Christmas with Bob? Hmm?
- Does he go by Bob?
- Uh, yeah, he does.
Guys, how can I help?
Is it standards or new material?
Mostly standards.
Hmm.
You weren't at Buck Rogers' funeral.
We thought we'd catch you there.
Yeah, I wanted to come. Got detained.
DETECTIVE RENK: Oh, with what?
Something happen at the funeral?
The mother was really... (EXHALES)
- Undone.
- Did you know her?
No.
No, we were business acquaintances.
No social interaction at all?
No. I mean, look, I'm in a business
where professional interaction
has a social component.
Did you two chat on the phone a lot?
- We spoke.
- Yeah, we saw that.
Saw what?
That he called you.
We looked at his phone records.
(SINGING) Call me irresponsible
Call me unreliable
Did he say that when he called? (CHUCKLES)
It's a Goulet song.
The last person he called from his home
on the night he went missing
was a Finestra, Richard,
of Greenwich, Connecticut.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ROBERT: (SINGING)
All the stockings are hollowed
All the paper is torn
All the eggnog
is swallowed
Not a drop
left this morn
And I wonder how long
This poor pine tree
will last
Christmas, you go so fast
So I sit...
You're right.
I wanna drown myself in a bucket of water.
Just the memory of kissing
Underneath mistletoe...
Come on, come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
I have waited all year
For what's now in the past
Christmas, you go so fast
It's only fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
Goodbye to gingerbread
And fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
Old Santa's gone to bed
Oh, fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
Little star upon the tree
Say fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
It's only you and me
And so now as the year ends
I see slush on the floor
From the boots of my dear friends
As they walked out the door
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
- Yuck! (COUGHS)
-(LAUGHING)
If it takes a whole month
If it takes a whole year
(SIGHS)
I'll bring you back
Christmas, come back
Christmas, you go
So fast
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hello?
- RICHIE: Hey, babe.
Listen, I've got to take Hannibal
and his fucking circus out after the show.
I'm gonna stay in the city, okay?
I spoke to a lawyer today. A divorce...
Baby, I'm sorry. I've gotta run, okay?
I'll try you in the morning.
(PHONE CLICKS)
(CLOCK TICKING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(DOG BARKING)
(SOBBING)
(SHOUTING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Oh, you good. Thank you.
Enjoy your drink. We gonna do the same.
(SIGHS)
You still dry?
No.
Pour him a drink.
He's got a fat wallet, so...
Pour everybody a drink.
What do you want?
Maybe I just... I wanted to see you.
(SIGHS) "Hey, Papa."
"I've come home, Papa."
"Hold me, Papa."
Fuck you.
I need an alibi.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Oh, sinnerman
Where you gonna run to?
Sinnerman, where you gonna run to?
Where you gonna run to?
All on that day
Well, I run to the rock
Please hide me
I run to the rock
Please hide me
I run to the rock
Please hide me, Lord
All on that day
But the rock cried out
"I can't hide you"
The rock cried out
"I can't hide you"
The rock cried out
"I ain't gonna hide you, guy"
All on that day
I said, "Rock
"What's the matter with you, Rock?
"Don't you see
I need you, Rock?"
Lord, Lord, Lord
All on that day
So I run to the river
It was bleeding
I run to the sea
It was bleeding
All on that day
So I run to the river
It was boiling
I run to the sea
It was boiling
All on that day
All night long
Hey, now, now,
now, now
Hey, little baby
You been on my mind
Look in my dreams
Your taste
is all I find
Hey, now, darling
Where you stay out
all night long
I wanna tell you
You know
your daddy's home
All night long
Whoo
All night long
Lord, Lord, Lord
Please help me
find my way home
Lord, Lord, Lord
Please help me
find my way home
I was young
when I left
Didn't realize
what I was doing
I've had pains
and trouble
Ever since
I've been gone
(SOBBING)
I've had pains
and trouble
(MAN SOBBING)
Ever since
I've been gone...
(RABBI SPEAKING HEBREW)
Francis Rogers,
loving son to Natalie and Boris.
Buck to his many friends.
Cultural figure.
Generously supported the Federation,
the Sisterhood lunch,
the renovation of
the Bessie Weinbaum Memorial...
Excuse me, are you Richard Finestra?
No. He, uh, couldn't make it.
Just... He wanted to be here.
- RABBI: Owner of six stations on radio.
-(SIGHS)
Music, sporting events, traffic.
WBSO especially good for the traffic.
(RICHIE GRUNTING)
Okay, now say it.
(PANTING)
Selling the company really fucked with me
in ways I didn't anticipate.
I didn't get how much
it brought up shit about my father
and everything.
And Buck's funeral today.
They're putting the man in the ground,
I'm not even there, okay?
Which shows you how committed I...
He refers to Buck Rogers as
"that psychotic dipwad."
Don't roll your eyes. Put it into the couch.
(GRUNTING)
DOUG: There we go.
Put it into the couch, not your marriage.
RICHIE: Fucking bitch!
(PANTING)
How does that feel?
Yeah, better, actually.
I don't want to take it out on her.
- On you.
- Who?
- Devon.
- Yeah.
Say it to her.
- I don't want to take it out...
- I got it, thank you.
Good. Why don't you give it a try?
Whacking the couch? I'm okay.
If you were okay, you wouldn't be here.
The racket's not gonna help.
DOUG: I think it helped Richie.
We got him to talk about
what's happening with him
without attacking your relationship.
Both of you need to identify who you are
outside of the marriage.
That's important for you, too,
particularly now that
Richie is looking at his own shit.
Mmm, so now Little Richie's feeling better.
I fucking hate it when she calls me that.
I don't want him to feel better.
I want him to feel worse.
- You see this shit?
- DOUG: Devon.
Our marriage is based on an agreement
that nobody does drugs.
Ah, this is how this goes,
nobody but me ever did anything.
Because when we do,
people end up in the hospital
on life support or dead.
Mea culpa, okay? Nobody got hurt this time.
You have two healthy children.
What do you want me to say?
Not that you feel better!
DOUG: Devon, I hear how angry you are.
You have every right to be.
I want you to pick up the racket
and let the couch absorb...
He's ruining my life!
I'm not hitting the fucking couch
with a tennis racket!
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
Oh, Candida
We could make it together
The further from here...
ls he trying to kill me?
Leo, the station.
-(RADIO STATION CHANGES)
- SCOTT: Come on.
Well, at least we don't have to
worry about him boycotting us anymore.
(CHUCKLES)
Buck.
The man was murdered.
I'm just saying.
Silver lining.
See that guy talking to me, at the service?
Brown suit.
Thought I was Richie.
You would dress better.
(CHUCKLES)
- You know, if you were Richie.
- Yeah, I follow you.
SKIP: Probably a bill collector.
Schulman says
there's some fishy shit in the books.
- Who's Schulman?
- The forensic accountant. Did he call you?
He had some questions I tried to answer.
It didn't add up.
Somebody's playing shell games.
No, no, if Richie drained
the goddamn company,
why didn't he unload it
when he had the chance?
'Cause he's a coke fiend back on coke.
- You're looking for logic?
- He's under a lot of pressure.
- A lot of pressure.
- Oh, really? Whose fault is that?
Yeah, he's got all of A&R shitting their pants.
I mean, he's really gonna fire them
if they don't sign an act in a week.
Yeah, why the fuck not?
You should find an act.
It ain't rocket science.
You throw a brick in this town,
you hit somebody singing a song.
Bette fucking Midler got discovered in
a feygele bathhouse.
(PHONE RINGS)
I have a girlfriend.
I don't hang out at feygele bathhouses.
LEO: Hey, Zak, I got Richie.
- Give me him. Give it to me.
- Give it.
ZAK: Give me the phone.
JULIE: Here, give him more cord.
It doesn't reach.
- Hand me the phone!
- You're gonna break it.
You're gonna break the fuckin' phone!
- You're holding it.
- ZAK: I got it. Leave it alone.
JULIE: It's stuck.
SCOTT: Come on.
ZAK: Fuck.
Hey, I thought you were gonna be there.
Had to meet somebody. How was it?
ZAK: Fucking freak show.
Couldn't call me
and let me know you're not coming...
Hey, you didn't think I wanted to be there?
I wouldn't miss a goddamn funeral unless
there was a significant thing.
Well, I would have appreciated a warning.
I got to tell everybody you're late.
ZAK: Then there's this other guy
coming around.
- And then I don't know who he is.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen to me.
Okay? I got Hannibal coming in today
to get fluffed before we re-up his contract.
How about you and the guys grab lunch
before you come home?
You know, so he doesn't feel swamped.
ZAK: Don't we want him to feel swamped?
Fuck! Well, Skip won't shut up
about the royalty rate,
and Julie gave him all that shit about
the fucking synth on the last album.
No, Julie's in the studio today
and Skip's making sales calls,
so I can ditch Scott, so...
RICHIE: Hey, are we arguing about lunch?
Get a drink. What's the problem?
Yeah, fine, okay. Whatever.
Fuck.
(SIGHS)
I just had this pressed.
I'm calling Joe Smith at Warners today.
Beg for a fucking job.
You're gonna walk away from
a 22% stake in the company?
Oh, my stake in the company.
My stake is now worth zero.
- Just fucking relax.
- You fucking relax.
- I lost everything.
- We all lost everything.
Nobody hires you right now.
You tanked the buyout. You smell like a turd.
Get out of the fucking limo
if it's such a hardship.
What, you were really gonna retire
after that buyout?
And do what? Paint Moira's toenails?
And you, you think
you'll ever get pussy again,
you're not a record man?
Bunch of whiners. Enough already!
Watch your leg.
This is my side of the car, that's your side.
- What, are you six years old?
- SCOTT: Yeah, maybe I am.
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
(HORNS HONKING)
(SIREN CHIRPING)
You recording today?
Goulet, the Christmas album.
Oh, yeah, my mom loves him.
Do me a favor, look out the window.
Play the license plate game, all right?
In silence.
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
Everything is beautiful...
(TSKS) Leo! You're killing me.
(RADIO STATION CHANGES)
- Just a minute.
-(PHONE RINGS)
Cece, he's here.
People, let me tell you
about a place I know
To get in
it don't take much dough
Where you can
really do your thing
Oh, yeah
It's got
a neon sign outside
That says come in
and take a look at your mind
You'd be surprised
what you might find, yeah
Strobe lights flashing
from sunup to sundown...
There he is. Give me five, my brother.
Look at that. We got a butterfly.
What's your name, butterfly?
- Cece.
- Cece.
Hal has the big room all set up.
- Can I walk you in?
- Yeah, we got ribs, brisket.
- You remember that place...
- We're vegetarian now.
Get this shit out of here. Move. All of it.
You don't got no Danish
at 11:00 in the morning?
Uh, of course we do, sweetheart.
Jamie, uh, go down to Goldie's.
Uh, twenty-five Danish, no poppy.
Uh, it sticks in the teeth. Am I right?
RICHIE: Where is he?
Hannibal! Unh!
Somebody get me a marker
so this man can sign my chest.
HANNIBAL: Hairy motherfucker.
How I'm gonna sign that?
Come on, give it to me. (LAUGHS)
I see you, Starr.
I see you like a goddamn poem.
So fucking beautiful.
(LAUGHS) I love you, baby.
Me, too.
Somebody get the queen
some champagne, please.
Uh-huh.
- Mmm.
- You got your own poem.
Oh, yeah, huh?
I guess I'm not as dumb as I look.
You're gonna have a drink with me, right?
Penny, Jamie hook you up?
Yep. How's everybody doing?
Oh, yes.
STARR: My favorite white girl.
PENNY: Forgive me.
Hannibal.
RICHIE: We're not talking deal points, Harvey.
We're just two big boys
having a drink, am I right?
- No numbers, okay?
- We good, bro.
- Get some fruit. He got to reduce.
-(LAUGHS)
Fucking fat ass.
RICHIE: I got something
that's waiting for you.
JAMIE: Five cheese, five apricot.
No, no poppy. I'll be right down.
- You meet him?
- JAMIE: No, you?
I will.
I just found these two guys
who sound exactly like Humble Pie.
Do you really need me
to break this down for you?
Find somebody who sounds exactly like
nobody you've ever heard.
Oh, now she's the Dalai Lama.
Look, the Nasty Bits suck my balls.
Just because Richie...
I don't want to get into this with you.
Oh, okay, then they're geniuses
and I just don't get it?
You're right, you just don't get it.
You think I could fire her, huh?
You haven't found anybody, huh?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(TEA KETTLE WHISTLING)
How's Starr treating you?
HANNIBAL: Starr want me dead.
That's why I can't go nowhere without her.
Can't give her no time to plan.
So, Harvey walk you through the changes?
We weren't gonna talk business.
I'm not negotiating, brother.
I just hope that he told you
that we rolled over on basically everything.
I'm a dog laying on the floor
showing you my belly.
(RICHIE CHUCKLES)
Jackie Jervis sent me a case of Dom.
Jackie Jervis is a twat.
He suck you off, too?
HANNIBAL: He didn't have to.
All the Dom I drank, I got too tired.
You know how many funk acts
they have over there at Koronet Records?
- Not gonna remember your name.
- He said my name a lot.
- He got it down.
- Oh, yeah?
Can I interest you in this?
Or do you want to run home to Jackie's Dom?
(CHUCKLES)
- Give me that.
- Line it up.
I want to throw something
on the pick for you.
I want you to listen to this horn.
This is the cat who played with Les McCann
on Compared to What.
- HANNIBAL: That's a hot track.
- No shit.
- Listen to this.
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
(HANNIBAL SNORTING)
Hey. Hey, me, too, motherfucker.
You off the wagon? Shit.
Listen, listen.
Ooh! That's a mean horn.
I'm putting him on your next album.
-(SNORTING)
- My ma coming to the show tonight.
Front row.
Esther? She's a fucking pistol.
Rein it in with the chicken.
Last time she saw you,
she started bringing over trays of that shit.
"You give this to Richie.
His folks both in the ground now.
-"Somebody got to take care of him."
- Well, she's fucking right.
How come you didn't bring
me my fucking chicken?
- I ate it. Man, Starr only cook vegetarian now.
-(LAUGHS)
Fucking nasty shit.
We're running the world,
we can't get a bite to eat.
You better not
run this world into the ground, Mack.
Selling your label, not selling your label.
I heard Dusty Springfield bailed.
Dusty Springfield's a fuckin' loon.
Have a little faith, how about?
Do I not take care of you?
Have I not always taken care of Hannibal?
Found a couple of
your fucking groupies downstairs.
Oh, my goodness. Hi.
RICHIE: Cece brought out
the new Bobby Womack.
Playing it for Starr right now.
(CHUCKLES)
All right, sugar.
You better pinch me, make sure I'm real.
-(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
- Sorry. I need to get out. Thanks.
Hey.
Shall we?
JAMIE: Uh...
(MOUTHING)
Let me just see what's going on back here.
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
-(lNDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
LESTER: I need to see Richie.
Do you have an appointment?
Tell him Lester Grimes is here.
- Does that mean you have an appointment?
- Yeah.
Trying to sign with him?
I can slip him your tape.
Oh, yeah? You an American Century artist?
I'm here to sign.
Sorry, just a few more minutes.
- You want a drink?
- We want to sign the bloody contract.
Lester?
What the fuck?
Welcome to American Century.
Get ready to take it up the ass.
(SCOFFS)
MAN: (ON RADIO)
The news watch never stops.
You really think Richie's skimming?
Probably. Selfish piece of shit.
- I bought my in-laws a condo. Boca.
- Mmm.
- You get a deal?
- No, I didn't. I didn't.
They were gonna move in with us.
And I was saving my life.
I thought I was about to make millions
from the sale of a company.
Eight years cleaning up after him
like the asshole behind the elephant.
What's with you? You don't seem
to give a shit that the sale tanked.
I give a big shit.
I was gonna stay with them, PolyGram.
- Maybe work at the headquarters.
- Germany? (SCOFFS)
Fucking kike.
What, are you gonna pass as an Italian?
No, stop. It's different now. West Berlin is...
It's a happening place.
Culturally.
Well, you're not going.
Did you ever meet him before? Hannibal?
Once, twice.
The big acts,
Richie doesn't want you to come around
because you'll steal his thunder.
I can't come home with a napkin
that he signed? That's all.
You know, I listened to Hannibal
when he was still called Lyle Hanny.
I brought an act in once. A girl with a guitar.
So sweet, you just... You wanna die.
Irish. Not that Celtic crap.
She wrote a, uh, song about a boat.
He says, um, "You don't got an ear, Zak.
"Yeah, but that's okay
'cause you got a nose for promos."
That's his rhyming couplet.
This artistic visionary
that we're following off a fucking cliff.
Hey, listen to me, Zak, you got a great ear.
I do or I don't, who gives a shit?
I got relationships with every DJ
in the United States.
Yeah.
Mobile, Alabama, has got two broads
playing the tin cups, I know about it.
And if Mobile loves them,
I take them national.
That's how we got Wilson and Chick.
- And the...
- Penny.
The Penny Fliers.
I'm a relationship person.
Richie Finestra,
he's got a relationship with himself.
This is bloody. I can't eat this.
- Ma'am.
- Medium well.
-(CASH REGISTER DINGS)
-(COINS RATTLE)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
SKIP: Thank you.
Ah!
Money
Get away...
Hey, Skippy, we got a card game Thursday.
- I bet we can make room.
- Fuck off, Moose.
More pay and you're okay
Money
It's a gas
Grab that cash
with both hands
And make a stash...
This one of mine?
Pink Floyd. Capitol. Just released.
How come I never walk in here
and find you playing my shit?
I got a Puerto Rican chick
for questions like that.
But she's got tits like helium balloons,
so from her I'm willing to take it.
I need you to hold off on
the extracurricular Donny Osmond run.
- The fugazis?
- Yeah.
I pressed them Friday. We're very efficient.
Well, sit on them a couple of weeks.
The trucks went out this morning.
It's already at the Goody stores.
What the fuck?
I ask you to run something,
I normally got to stand here
and threaten to piss in your face
before it gets done.
- I quit drinking. I had a heart scan.
- Oh.
Three nights in the hospital.
Turns out I can get a lot done in a day.
Mario, do you have any fucking idea
what you just did?
I am feeling better, thank you very much.
They're auditing my company.
I can't have 10,000 fake Donny Osmond
returns showing up, right?
It'll be more than we pressed in the first place.
So next time, do the math
before you order an illegal run.
Hey, I paid for that run, I can't sell it.
I feel terrible for you.
Now don't give me that look.
Don't give me that look!
You made this bed, not me.
You're a moaning asshole.
My blood pressure was 180 over 90!
Man, fuck the coat.
I'm gonna get you an actual leopard.
Like a baby one?
Yeah, you can't get them old
or they'll eat your face off.
Cece, I want to take this kid out
after his show tonight,
so book a table for everybody, okay?
We're gonna have a goddamn vegetarian orgy.
Rice. Whatever you want.
Richie, there's a detective calling for you.
Take a message, for Christ's sake.
Rich.
Ain't I clean
Bad machine
Super cool
Super mean
Feeling good
for the man
Superfly
here I stand...
Richard, I need to speak with you.
Hey! Do you know Hannibal?
Hannibal, this is Robert Goulet.
You think you got to tell me that?
He's fucking Lancelot.
Man, you the whole salami.
Oh, look at that, you're the salami.
Shouldn't you be in the studio?
JULIE: Bob.
Bob, can you have a seat in my office, please?
No, I have one original song
on this album of warmed-over slop.
If we start on the original material...
It's about the day after Christmas.
It's an untouched market.
You want to stick your head in the oven,
you hear this song.
There he is! Zak is back.
Take your time, honey.
Been at lunch since breakfast.
Uh, would you offer Bob a drink, please?
I'll be in in a minute, okay?
Hannibal, I fucking love you.
- He doesn't give a shit.
-(CECE CHUCKLES)
Five minutes.
Superfly here I stand...
JAMIE: Oh, Richie...
Baddest bitches
in the bed...
- HANNIBAL: Buy these for yourself?
- But they're not real.
HANNIBAL: They don't need to be real.
Next to these eyes,
real rocks is a waste of bread.
JAMIE: Hey.
This how he treats all his bands?
I'm so sorry. It's crazy here today.
- Fucking bullshit.
- Have you had lunch?
No.
There's a diner called Munson's up the block.
We ain't signed.
We ain't got no money.
LESTER: What'd you think
was gonna happen?
I don't...
Even if you managed to sell this sorry shit
as an album, what then?
The fucking Mike Douglas Show like this?
Am I a sideshow monkey, man?
Put me in a little vest?
- Shut the fuck up.
- You got a guilty conscience
and this is your solution?
Ten years and this is what you come up with?
Yeah, man, that's it! That's all I got!
You don't like it, get the fuck out!
Fuck.
I listened to that shit.
That's my fault.
It's been years since I heard what I used to...
Why didn't you just fucking
hit me with a bat like Galasso did?
- Ain't no difference.
- Lester, if I thought for one second
that this was gonna hurt...
Look, I swear to God, man, I just thought that
if we took those tracks...
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Oh, that's great. Very nice.
Oh, come on, man. Yeah, that's really great.
Thanks. Cece, get me some water, please.
- Cece, get me some water!
- Holy shit!
Cece, get me a fire extinguisher!
WOMAN: What's happening in there?
- Back, now.
- Are we getting water?
- Cece, anybody, get me some water!
- I sent someone, Richie.
JAMIE: Hurry up!
CECE: Get the hell out of there!
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
CECE: Go away! Get out!
- RICHIE: What the fuck?
- Holy shit.
Fucking kidding me?
Fuck!
(SINGING) Crybaby
Cry baby
Cry baby
Honey, welcome back home
I know she told you
Hon, I know she told you
that she loved you
Much more than I did
But all I know
is that she left you
And you swear that you
just don't know why...
WOMAN: This was when?
DEVON: Uh, a couple weeks ago.
WOMAN: You, too, or just the den?
Excuse me?
Any physical abuse in the marriage?
Oh, no, no. Not in... No.
No, you don't need to write that down.
It was an accident.
(SCOFFS) ls that what women say?
I get a lot of clumsy women.
That's not what this was.
It was a car accident.
As much my fault as Richie's.
So you can cross that out.
How about I do my part, you do yours?
I don't want you suggesting in your records
that I have an abusive husband.
He abuses drugs.
That's different.
I want it to be about what it is.
- Drug abuse.
- And alcohol.
- Which, for an addict with a history of...
- Accidents.
Is this supposed to feel
like a cross-examination?
It's not supposed to feel very nice.
And if someone told you it would,
they misled you.
You expect sole custody of the children?
No.
He's a good father.
He's never exposed the kids to...
I thought your son
found him drunk on the couch
with the rectangular guitar.
Shared custody.
Because he's a good father?
Yes.
Sylvia!
Invoice the hour.
You want the questionnaire?
Sure, what the hell?
You bring a checkbook with you,
Mrs. Finestra?
- Yes.
- Great.
There's a $150 charge for this meeting
and Sylvia will give you a questionnaire.
You can fill it out at home.
Your secretary said on the phone
that there would be no charge
for the initial consultation.
- Well, she was mistaken.
- What if I hadn't brought my checkbook?
Lucky for me you did.
If you think this somehow
makes me more comfortable
with the idea of you handling my divorce...
You're not getting divorced, Mrs. Finestra.
You just wasted an hour of my time
generating a card to play
in the next fight you have with your husband.
That is
the most condescending thing anyone...
You love your husband, sweetheart.
I wish you didn't.
He sounds like a real asshole.
If I'm wrong, fill out the questionnaire
and we'll discuss it the next time we meet.
$150. My last name is Gross.
Spelled like "Wow, that was really gross."
One, two, three, now
(MUSIC PLAYING)
They could care less about you
They could care less about me
As long as they are to end
the place that they want to be
They're always wearing false smiles
I guess it goes with their style
Politicians in my eyes...
LESTER: You get an idea, you can't shake it.
Hum along with it when you're on a train.
You like it for a minute, but then you hate it.
It ain't good enough,
but you write it down anyway
just to get it out of your head.
Then you pull out your guitar,
see if it might stand up.
Your mouth, your thought, your hand.
Put a microphone in your face,
somebody hits record. Hmm.
Now you sign a deal with a label,
paid you a big chunk of change
to cut an album,
so you're feeling like the man,
but they gonna hit that pile of cash,
pull out a stack to pay for the studio,
the guy pushing the button and the cover art
and the poster and the launch party.
That's called recoupment.
Cut the record, it sells in stores,
shop gets half.
Take out a buck for the manufacturing.
Buck and a half for the distribution.
Buck for marketing.
Not a whole lot left for you.
But, even if there is,
you don't get to see a dime of it
till they pay off your production costs.
Probably need to sell
100,000 records to do that.
A hundred thousand is more people
than you'll ever meet in your life.
You know the difference
between mechanical royalties,
performance royalties, artist royalties,
songwriting royalties?
All that shit's gonna show up
on a stack of paper,
your name at the bottom under a dotted line
like it's already done.
And Richie Finestra's gonna hand you
a drink and a pen.
He knows that
every single one of those things
is negotiable down to 100th of a percent.
I know.
Only ones that don't know is you.
And you're the ones holding the pen.
CECE: Hannibal said he'd put me on the list
for the show tonight.
- RICHIE: Good for you.
- You're going, too, right?
What do you want, a ride in the limo?
Are you gonna change before the show?
I take off the jacket, it's a whole nother story.
All right.
Goulet wants to record an original song,
I think we should let him do it.
- Throw him a bone.
- You're the one who thinks
we're getting evicted,
so if you want to do it...
You're the one who wants new material, okay?
He's got a fresh idea. It's worth trying.
Got him in here anyhow.
Not like we got to hire an orchestra.
You know what, we're here arguing
and they're sitting in the studio
burning up the hour...
I said yes.
What, you want it in a telex?
(SIGHS)
Richie, you're signing the Nasty Bits.
- You can do it in Julie's office.
- Can't I get one minute?
No. They've been
sitting here for the entire afternoon.
- Try and look excited, okay?
- Shut the fuck up.
Hey, there they are. The Bits.
We were listening
to your demo this afternoon.
- It was so hot, set my office on fire.
- Shit.
Cece's gonna open a bottle of champagne
so we can all get shit-faced, okay,
before you throw your chop on the line.
Come on.
Get in there, you nasty, Nasty Bits.
Hey, coffee.
We want to
go over a couple of deal points first, yeah?
Yeah, okay. Sure.
Our manager's gonna join.
He just went to take a leak.
You got a manager?
Good, one less thing to figure out.
- Yeah, there he is.
- Great.
You two go back, right?
I don't need to do no introductions.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Fuck.
Piece of...
Hey, you gotta buy that, man.
(MUSIC STOPS)
What the hell are you doing?
You can't touch that.
I'm gonna have to call my manager.
SKIP: You take this off the platter,
I get you fired.
-(MUSIC PLAYING)
- Okay, sunflower?
Hey, why is my Donny Osmond display
shoved in the back of the window
behind the Dueling fucking Banjos?
People love those banjos.
That fucking retarded kid.
But I paid you for the front row.
I want to see Donny Osmond's face,
he's got half a nose out there.
Okay, okay. I'll fix it.
Okay, Mario just sent you
an overrun of the Osmond.
I want you to hold off on it for a while.
- You kidding me?
- No.
Gonna put the whole operation
on ice for a couple of months.
Fuck that.
I got two dozen copies of that fucking record.
I want my return money.
No, you can return what you'd have normally.
No extras, okay?
'Cause I got accountants
crawling up every orifice this week.
- That's your problem, man.
- Oh, you want to blow the whole gig?
You don't need the extra cash?
They pay you so much as a manager
of shoving paper clips up his ass,
you don't want a cut anymore?
Why can't Mario take them back?
Because Mario's a fucking asshole.
Like you're a fucking asshole.
He gets a cut, you get a cut.
-I'm the only one taking risks.
- Oh, you don't get a cut?
You bought that shit-brown Camaro on
what you won betting on the Mets?
I take plenty of risk.
Howard's been sniffing around here
all the time now that his wife left him.
And I'll tell you what risk I'm not gonna take.
I'm not storing 50 boxes
of illegal Donny Osmond albums.
I'm gonna lose my job.
I just bought a bumper pool table.
I can't be out of work right now.
You destroyed my office!
That's 10 grand worth of damage in there.
Fucking gold records warped.
Let's talk about the band's advance.
You're a fucking manager,
I'm Venus on the half-shell.
I am, and I'm gonna specialize in
people Richie Finestra's ready to gut.
Let me ask you something.
In what universe
do you think these shit palms
-pay a black man 20% of their dough?
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Richie, we gotta swing. Snow's gonna start.
RICHIE: Yeah, I'll meet you there.
Uh, should I take the limo?
How about you take a cab?
ls that too much of a hardship?
Thirty-grand advance.
Fifteen, which is five more than they're worth.
Thirty, and you stay out of the studio.
Get the fuck out of my office.
They have a right to preserve their sound.
You don't give a crap about their sound,
you tripped over them in my lobby.
They have a raw energy. I wanna protect that.
You wanted to protect me,
so that ain't something that inspires much.
You know something?
You overestimate
how shitty I feel about what happened to you.
My label, my artist.
I wanna mix that fucking record myself,
I'll do it.
Twenty grand.
The future is not
what it seems...
(RICHIE SIGHS)
I'd offer you a drink, but you're an asshole.
Qué sera
When I saw you
outside your building that night,
what was playing?
Some kind of bongo beat
under a funk something.
Oh, this kid, Kool Herc,
plays two records at the same time.
Turned my fucking head around.
I had to stop the car.
Does he write his own stuff?
You never stop hustling, do you?
You better hope I don't.
Qué sera
(MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADSET)
(SIGHS)
(PEN SCRATCHES)
(SIGHS)
Hey. So you found an act, huh?
Yeah, man, I think so. Called Veiniacs.
- The Veiniacs.
- No, just Veiniacs.
Are they, uh...
What are they like?
If T. Rex and Sweet fucked,
had a baby raised by Dr. John, you dig?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah. They're black guys?
- No.
- Really?
Did you not, um, find any?
- Black bands?
- Yeah.
I did.
Didn't want to go that way?
Yeah, no.
I feel that, you know?
You don't want to be pigeonholed.
You think I'm here
just to bring in the brothers?
Hey, no, I mean, we're all just here to be
who we are.
Did Julie say something?
Uh, about?
I'm supposed to only bring in R&B and funk?
No, no. I mean, he may have said something.
I don't really remember.
You know?
- You want some coffee?
- No.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
MALE ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
the man of the hour.
Put your hands together for Hannibal!
Yeah!
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-(VOCALIZING)
MAN: (SINGING) Hannibal
CHORUS". We want you back
MAN: Hannibal
We want you back
CHORUS: We want you back
MAN: I said Hannibal
We want you back
CHORUS: We want you back...
STARR: Nobody got the carrots
like I asked for.
Excuse me.
Bitch, get a hobby.
You see how these bitches
want something for free?
You see that one back there?
- WOMAN: Hey, Starr.
- Hey, Deirdre.
Chew on a stick.
Baby, why are you not wearing the scarf?
Shit. Where it at?
Get that goddamn scarf!
You gonna walk slow?
Oh, my God.
Supposed to be good for the throat.
- Oh, yeah?
- Not really.
But it shuts him up.
Hannibal!
Jackie Jervis. Look at you.
That's some bad pants.
I want some pants like that.
(CHUCKLES)
I'll take them off. You can wear 'em.
Get out the way.
Andrea, baby.
You so hot, you dangerous.
- Oh, can I eat you alive?
- HANNIBAL: Mmm-hmm.
ANDREA: Ooh, you smell like cookies.
MAN: (SINGING) I said Hannibal
We want you back
CHORUS". We want you back...
You know Cece?
Jackie Jervis and Andrea.
- She so fine, she don't need a last name.
-(LAUGHS)
CECE: Nice to meet you.
- Cece work for Richie.
- Oh, yeah?
- Is he lurking around here?
- He's on his way.
Oh, well, maybe I should leave.
I don't want to show him up.
He'll be here in a minute.
Just stuck in a meeting. New artist.
Wow, you're already
yesterday's news over there, huh?
(LAUGHS)
MAN: (SINGING) Hannibal...
- Was the opening act one of yours?
- What? No, man.
I'm not here to see your opener, motherfucker.
I'm here to see you.
I don't care whose label you're on.
- L'm a fan of your music, man.
-(CHUCKLES)
- He's smooth.
- Mmm.
Hey, you better play Up the Kleedle tonight.
-lt's my favorite song.
- Gogo!
We got Up the Kleedle on the list tonight?
Put it on!
I have the artist stage right.
Hannibal, we're ready for you.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
JACKIE: All right, Hannibal.
Whoo!
Hannibal!
- Whoo!
- All right, baby.
(CROWD CHEERING)
WOMAN: (SINGING) Hannibal
MAN: Put your hands together
(CROWD CHEERING)
Just clap your hands like this, here.
Come on. Let's go.
(SINGING) Come here, kitty
Got a bottle of wine
Come on, kitty
Want to kill some time
Who knows when they gonna
drop the bomb on us?
Singing everybody
better get along
CHORUS: It's all right
Lady
Let's make a baby
It's all right
Lady
Let's make a baby
Sing, girl
So what you saying
to me, brother'?
That every woman
got to be a mother?
Maybe that's
not my scene
Oh
If you know
what I mean
I'm talking about
love, love, love
I'm talking
about love
I'm talking about
love, love, love
Yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah
Whoo
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Whoo
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady, let's make a baby
Ooh, lady
Everybody sing
It's all right
Lady, let's make a baby
All right
Lady, let's make a baby...
Richie, Cece's on the phone.
She says Jackie Jervis is at the show
and he's all over Hannibal.
Are you fucking kidding me?
- Do you want to talk to her?
- No.
No, just tell her to keep him away from Jervis.
Offer to blow him in the corner.
Some fucking thing.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hannibal or Jervis?
(SNORTS)
What?
Should she offer to blow?
It's an expression.
Hannibal, should the opportunity arise.
Tell Leo to bring the car around. Fuck.
- What are you doing?
- Uh...
Those two guys right there
want to talk to you.
They're detectives.
Why'd you let them back here?
Well, nobody's out front.
I'm covering Cece's desk so you're not alone.
- Should I...
- Well, I think at this point,
you got to let them in.
Hey. guys. What's up?
DETECTIVE RENK: Hey.
DETECTIVE WHORISKY: Hey.
DETECTIVE RENK: What happened here?
Oh, uh...
Sprinklers.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
It's not really a good time.
Besides, I already talked to Voehel.
Somebody's got your hoe in the same row.
Voehel?
Yeah, Detective Voehel.
I hate to eavesdrop.
Did I hear one of the gals say
Robert Goulet was here today?
- Yeah.
-ls he making a record?
- Yep.
- I knew it.
That's terrific. When can I purchase a copy?
- Christmas. It's a Christmas album.
- Oh.
What you gonna call it?
I don't know.
Something like
Robert Goulet's Christmas Album.
Ch.
How about something in a neighborhood of
Christmas with Bob? Hmm?
- Does he go by Bob?
- Uh, yeah, he does.
Guys, how can I help?
Is it standards or new material?
Mostly standards.
Hmm.
You weren't at Buck Rogers' funeral.
We thought we'd catch you there.
Yeah, I wanted to come. Got detained.
DETECTIVE RENK: Oh, with what?
Something happen at the funeral?
The mother was really... (EXHALES)
- Undone.
- Did you know her?
No.
No, we were business acquaintances.
No social interaction at all?
No. I mean, look, I'm in a business
where professional interaction
has a social component.
Did you two chat on the phone a lot?
- We spoke.
- Yeah, we saw that.
Saw what?
That he called you.
We looked at his phone records.
(SINGING) Call me irresponsible
Call me unreliable
Did he say that when he called? (CHUCKLES)
It's a Goulet song.
The last person he called from his home
on the night he went missing
was a Finestra, Richard,
of Greenwich, Connecticut.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
ROBERT: (SINGING)
All the stockings are hollowed
All the paper is torn
All the eggnog
is swallowed
Not a drop
left this morn
And I wonder how long
This poor pine tree
will last
Christmas, you go so fast
So I sit...
You're right.
I wanna drown myself in a bucket of water.
Just the memory of kissing
Underneath mistletoe...
Come on, come on.
Let's go. Let's go.
I have waited all year
For what's now in the past
Christmas, you go so fast
It's only fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
Goodbye to gingerbread
And fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
Old Santa's gone to bed
Oh, fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
Little star upon the tree
Say fa-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia
It's only you and me
And so now as the year ends
I see slush on the floor
From the boots of my dear friends
As they walked out the door
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
- Yuck! (COUGHS)
-(LAUGHING)
If it takes a whole month
If it takes a whole year
(SIGHS)
I'll bring you back
Christmas, come back
Christmas, you go
So fast
(PHONE RINGING)
- Hello?
- RICHIE: Hey, babe.
Listen, I've got to take Hannibal
and his fucking circus out after the show.
I'm gonna stay in the city, okay?
I spoke to a lawyer today. A divorce...
Baby, I'm sorry. I've gotta run, okay?
I'll try you in the morning.
(PHONE CLICKS)
(CLOCK TICKING)
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
(DOG BARKING)
(SOBBING)
(SHOUTING)
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Oh, you good. Thank you.
Enjoy your drink. We gonna do the same.
(SIGHS)
You still dry?
No.
Pour him a drink.
He's got a fat wallet, so...
Pour everybody a drink.
What do you want?
Maybe I just... I wanted to see you.
(SIGHS) "Hey, Papa."
"I've come home, Papa."
"Hold me, Papa."
Fuck you.
I need an alibi.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Oh, sinnerman
Where you gonna run to?
Sinnerman, where you gonna run to?
Where you gonna run to?
All on that day
Well, I run to the rock
Please hide me
I run to the rock
Please hide me
I run to the rock
Please hide me, Lord
All on that day
But the rock cried out
"I can't hide you"
The rock cried out
"I can't hide you"
The rock cried out
"I ain't gonna hide you, guy"
All on that day
I said, "Rock
"What's the matter with you, Rock?
"Don't you see
I need you, Rock?"
Lord, Lord, Lord
All on that day
So I run to the river
It was bleeding
I run to the sea
It was bleeding
All on that day
So I run to the river
It was boiling
I run to the sea
It was boiling
All on that day