Vida (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 5 - Episode #3.5 - full transcript

Lyn is MIA, playing politician's wife, as Emma is left to run Drag King Night at the bar on her own.

This huge thing just happened to me,

and the only person that I
thought to come tell was you.

I saw a lawyer today about Victor.

I'm starting from scratch with him,

and I need you to let me.

Some unsolicited advice...

admit when you don't know something.

Empty vessels make the most noise.

Now that they broke up,
I bet Emma's firing Nico.

Emma's a lesbian?

LYN: There might have been a Baco

the handyman in there, too, so...

I mean, look, Emma, you... you pass.

NICO: Oh, so she should
get an asymmetrical haircut

to-to telegraph it to the world?

I think I'm pregnant.

I'm pretty sure Nico
can't get you pregnant.

You're gonna hate
yourself tomorrow for this,

and I'm gonna hate that I let it happen.

Oh, fuck.



WOMAN: ♪ Aleluya, aleluya ♪

♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

♪ Aleluya, aleluya ♪

♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

WOMEN: ♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

♪ Aleluya, aleluya ♪

♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

♪ Aleluya, aleluya ♪

♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪

♪ Aleluya... ♪



- WOMEN: ♪ Límpiame, Señor ♪


Mi'ja, entonces, will I see you tonight,

at the Bienvenida del Nuevo Pacto...

the new member fellowship?

Oh, of course.

I did tell Emma that
I was gonna help her

with this performance
thing at the bar tonight,

but of course. I'll
figure something out.

I'll be there, Papi.


The first pill is Mifepristone.

That one you can take right away,

and the second one is Misoprostol,

and that one you have
to wait after 24 hours,

and the side effects are heavy bleeding,

cramping, um, nausea, vomiting,

and maybe dizziness.

Thank you.

Excuse me. Can I help you?

Yes, you can, actually.

I have this, like, appearance
thing with Rudy today,

and his intense momzilla
is gonna be there.

The one whose bowl you broke.

I already got the dress code

totally wrong with her once.

It's not going to happen again.

Is Banana Republic all you got?

What's the event?

It's this kinda, like, outside thing,

but Rudy's in official mode,
so I need me some

Meghan Markle seriousness
with, like, AOC sass.

These are all slacks.

Do you have any actual
skirts I can look at?

- Oh, far left.


Ooh, uh, the drag kings need some kind

of dressing room setup.

Is that for tonight?

Yeah, Tasha texted over a
list of things that they need.

Um, oh, by the way,

Tasha goes by they/them now.


By the way, when Nico
pitched drag kings,

didn't you say it was gonna
be low engagement for us?

Yeah, but they don't just,
like, walk in in drag.

They need a place to get ready.

Why can't they just walk in in drag?

I guess they're premiering
some songs tonight

and need a place to rehearse before.


Then maybe you should,
um, wait to take that pill

un... until after I
come back from Rudy's.

Oh, I already took it.


This is you on the pill?

- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.

I'd be totally green
by now if I were you.

The one time I took it,

I got so sick.

I literally had to curl up in bed

with caldo for two days, almost three.

Okay, well I have a
rock for a stomach, so...

[SIGHS] Well,

and just because I'd be a shitty sister

if I didn't ask,


for sure don't wanna tell Baco?

Why would I tell Baco?

Yeah, I wouldn't, either.

Can I say something, though?

About drag king night,
without you getting offended?

Because I know it's, well, your event,

and I'm pro anything queer that we do

because it's, like, on brand for us,

but don't you think
burlesque is a little janky?

It's not janky,

and I don't know if it's,
like, actual burlesque.

It just... I don't understand.

I thought you would like
something like this for the bar.

Excuse me, no.

Game nights, dope DJs,

amazing latinx music acts,

that's the kind of
stuff I want for our bar.

This, I don't know.

You know what I think,

is that this councilman wifey act

is starting to affect you.
I mean, look at you.

Go look at yourself. Go.


I look like you.



- Ew you.






Let me give you this brochure.

All the events I
mentioned are right here,

and in case you lose it,

they're also on the
councilman's website.

So looking forward to seeing
you at some of the events.

Have a good one. Bye.

También regalitos,

porque ahí les dan un
buchito de agua, ¿sí? Okay.

- LYN: Sir, hi.
- Que esté muy bien.

Que esté muy bien.

RUDY: And, uh, take a
chance on these programs,

so really we can make
the changes happen,

but together as a community,

we have to make decisions
and be stakeholders.

In fact, we're having
a town hall next week...

So the best way to do that
is to know your neighbors.

The councilman has,
like I just mentioned

a lot of great community
building activities planned.

RUDY: Enjoy the rest of the day.


- Corazón...
- Que paso?

Dale esto a tu novia, porque...

LYN: ... favorite dish and
share it with the community.

Barbeques, because who doesn't
love a good carne asada, right?

LYN: Oh, oh...

Día de Muertos activation,

where we're gonna be
able to do our own altars

to honor the dead. Hi!

Hi, Councilman.

Thank you so much for being
here. Thank you for your support.

- Of course, of course.
- Have a good one.

Have a great day.

This is great!

Mami noticed you're cold.

What? Oh, my God, no. I'm so hot.

I should have brought a hat for the sun.

No, Lyn, um, it looks
like you're chilly.


Please cover up.



pa'fuera! ¡Basura, pa'fuera!

LETTY: Cochina! You're such cochinas!

Clean up after yourself, sucias!

You're ruining the neighborhood!

[CHANTING] Basura, pa'
fuera, basura, pa' fuera!

LETTY: No wonder everyone around
here thinks y'all are trash!

[LAUGHING] Arthur-looking motherfucker!

[LAUGHING] Where'd you get your shirt?

Go back to Nordstrom, [INDISTINCT].


[CHANTING] Basura, pa'
fuera! Basura, pa' fuera!


AMANDA: This was
supposed to be the first time

we rehearse it all together.

We've only run it piece meal.
Tasha, it's so un-professional.

TASHA: Amanda, what do you
want me to do right now?

It-it's done. It'll be fine.

AMANDA: Well, no shade, but it's not
like she's the best singer anyway.

I don't know why you
asked her to be in it.

I know but she's my
cousin's friend so...

AMANDA: Hey, hey, sorry.

Um, there's no mirrors in the back room,

and I dunno if that's gonna work for
us when we're trying to get ready.

Is there any way that we can, like,
get something set up for that?

What's going on?

Pues, apparently, they need
large mirrors in the office.

We can definitely find you some mirrors.

Hi, Emma.

Thank you again for having us.

Well, we're very glad to have you.

Emma, um, Rocky has some espejos

from when she used to teach
folklórico from her garage,

that are, like, normal door
mirrors from la Walmart.

Oh, would you ask her, Eddy?

We can, um, open bar
as a thank-you to her.

'Ta bueno. I'll shoot her a text.


- Hey.
- Hi.

Uh, ooh, do you, uh,

think that we can get some
bottles of water for them

in the dressing room?

Oh, for sure.

Yeah, I-I can do it.


Emma, do you think that we could talk?

Uh... ooh, Eddy, is that
for the trash outside?

Uh, I'll take care of it.

Oh, I got it. I've been trying to go.

It's just been a lot going
on before you got here.

Hey, do you guys have any, uh, tape?

Someone's gonna break their
culito tripping over these cords.

- Uh, yeah.
- Emma, I really need to talk to you.

Yeah, uh, I think there's,
uh, some tape in the storage.

Eddy, do you mind getting the tape
and I'll, uh, clean up out here?

- I'll just uh...
- I can help.


Are you okay?

Yeah, I...

just got a little lightheaded.
I, uh... thanks.

- Oh.
- Have you eaten?

- Let me get you some water.

Look, I'm fine. I...


Could you just, uh, handle picking
up the trash outside? Thanks.

Uh, I'm sorry. I just need a minute.

Yeah. Of course.

pa'fuera! Basura, pa'fuera!



ALL: ♪ Ma, ma, ma, ma, ma,
ma, ma, ma... machismo ♪

- ♪ What ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪

- ♪ God's gift to women ♪
- ♪ Say what ♪

ALL: ♪ It's God's gift to you ♪

Thank you so much. You are the best.

- Aren't they the best?
- They are.


Oh, snap, did I just misgender you?

I shouldn't have assumed your pronouns.

What? What do you mean?

I ready you as they/them,
but I shouldn't have assumed.

Uh, no. I'm a she.

Like, a regular she.

My bad.

Tasha. Tú siempre la riegas.

Coño, I thought the '90s
P.E. teacher outfit was,

like, an ironic throwback,

but she was actually
being earnest about it.

She's old school.

You say old school.

I say a repressed
masc-presenting gender queer.

Kinda bums me out, but whatever.

Respect your elders.

- Wow.
- Let's do it one more time.


... but I got a whole plan

and that's why we're
trying to drum up support.

Support like yours because
we can make the change happen,

but we can't do it
without the community.

- I agree.
- Okay?

KARLA: There's no one that
can answer my question?

- Well, thank you.
- Okay?

I appreciate you being out here.

- Thank you, councilman.
- It was a pleasure.

KARLA: No, I just wanna
ask a quick question.

Yeah but, you can just
send him an e-mail.

It's not gonna take a long time.

I'm sure you can just send him
an e-mail. You don't have...

He's right here. It's important.
We can't even take her outside.

Excuse me, councilman, hi.

That nice young woman over
there, she pointed you out,

and I just... I wanted
to take this opportunity

to talk to you about the
abominable status of our sidewalks.

Yes, of course. Let's talk sidewalks.

Great. I'm a homeowner.

We both are, actually.

Um, and I'm just worried
about pushing my baby

stroller down the
sidewalk without having...


Hello, Karla.

Oh, my God. Rudy, this
is Karla and Johnny.

LYN: We all went to
high school together.

Oh, look at that. Any friends
of Lyn are friends of mine.

Oh, do you mind if I see your baby?

Qué chula es la hermosa baby.

She is gorgeous. Congratulations
to the both of you.

Babe, come here. Come here.

- Vela.

RUDY: Isn't she beautiful?

She's... she's beautiful.

Disculpen, pero, corazón,

the little children that
wrote the poem are here,

and I think you really should
take your picture with them.

No, of course. We have to
reward, uh, creativity, right?


Um, let's keep talking about how
we can tackle those sidewalks, yeah?

It's important.

Nice to meet you.

Of course.

You're a trophy girlfriend now.

Lyn, you're a pinche chameleon.

Always changing your colors
for whatever man you have...

JOHNNY: Let's go, let's go.

Karla, there's really no
reason for us to be like this.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Look, everything is fine
and as it should be.

I promise you, Karla, from, like,
the bottom of my everything

that I am no threat
to you or your family.

I think I've proven
that with my behavior,

and Johnny would agree, right?

How would you have
proven that to Johnny?

Have you two seen each other?



Oh, gracias, Rocky.

You're a lifesaver.

It's all good.

You know I wanted to see
them for myself anyway.

You know how Chavel Vargas is...

Carnala, they called me
a gender queer and an elder.

The fuck?

And they throw around the
word "queer" like nothing.

When did that become okay?

Don't they know when we grew up,

those were fighting words?

Well, I'm not gonna tell them that.

Pa' que luego me digan
old dinosaur dyke again?

[SCOFFS] Ah, kids.

AMANDA: ♪ I fall in love ♪

Oh, this feels so good.

I think we might need to
recruit Nico for the set tonight,

just in case.

- Nico.
- TASHA: Nico.


TASHA: You gotta come through.

- Yes! Yes!
- What? Guys,

- You cannot resist the power of drag.
- I'm at my job working. I'm working.

- TASHA: We are dragging you.
- We're gonna drag you.

- Drag you to drag!
- I don't want to be the drag, man.

NICO: Man, I don't have anything.

I have an extra packie,
I got plenty of KT Tape.

Yes, friend! You gotta do it! Come on!

He was Argentine!

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Che was Argentine, but
he was still problematic.

No, but the concept would be
like Benicio del Toro playing Che.

Like I'm Eddie Olmos in Zoot Suit,

and then we got Monica over here,

and she's doing Antonio Banderas
playing in Desperado.

So it's not like just
she's playing a mariachi.

She's playing Antonio Banderas
playing a mariachi in Desperado.


Tasha's Danny Trejo
in, uh, well, anything.

I'm doing Machete, okay?

Very specific.

Baby, it's okay.

- C'mon guys.

Maybe some other time.


I'm just not so much in
the mood to play dress up

and gender bend today.

Mm, ¿qué tienes, Nicotine?

I... If you don't want to be El Che,

you can do a Desi Arnaz on I Love Lucy.

- Classy.
- That's good.

Or you can do a John Leguizamo in, um...

Yo, uh, bar people.

- The butches.

There we go. Uh, yo, so,

uh, which John Leguizamo
character should Nico play tonight?

The theme is toxic masculinity.


Benny Blanco would be an obvious
choice for toxic machismo.

Oh, but my favorite Leguizamo
movie is To Wong Foo.


But I might be dating
myself with that one.

No, no, no, no, no. I see you.

That's like a drag on drag.
Okay, touché, baby.


- AMANDA: Seriously, no one?
- To Wong Foo.

AMANDA: Come on.

I want you to be able
to... to move well.

The first thing I always
tell people is, like...



Quit looking at each
other. Don't touch me!

- Don't tou... don't lie.
- I didn't...

Just be honest!

Isn't Rudy wonderful?

- Yes.

SILVIA: He's so natural with
people. He always has been.


He was my miracle baby.

Two very painful failed pregnancies,

and finally this tiny little boy arrives

and we didn't even know if he
would make it, and look at him now.



Whoever ends up with him
will have to measure up.

No puede ser una cualquiera.

What I mean is that it will
take someone special to...

Oh, um...

I know what cualquiera means.

I've heard that word
several times before.

I'm sure you have.

I'm sorry, Ms. Marquez,

but if you have a
specific problem with me,

I wish you'd let me know what
it is so that I could fix it.

Lyn. Hey, Lyn.

There's a reporter here
from the LA Times.

- Will you come take a picture?
- Yeah.

Oh, and, uh, let me do all the talking.

You just smile pretty
like you always do.


WOMAN: ♪ Con lo que te enamora ♪

ALL: ♪ Baila con ritmo ♪

WOMAN: ♪ Como si fueras loca ♪

ALL: ♪ Baila con ritmo ♪

WOMAN: ♪ Con lo que te enamora ♪

ALL: ♪ Baila con ritmo ♪


Ooh, sorry. Solo les traía unas waters.

No, it's fine. Pásale.



MONICA: It always takes me longer
than the other kings to get ready.


It's very If These Walls
Could Talk 2, right?

Butch Chloe Sevigny in a binder.

That's not what you got on.

Well, yeah, but ACE Bandage
for binding's old school,

and although I love old school,

this is easier.

Sports bras are... are fine for me.

For drag I find them so uncomfortable

'cause you always have to double up.

But this is pretty comfy.


I would look like Panza
Spears in that thing.


But... but we can find
you one a little more masc.

- No.
- Más butch.


Oh, they don't make
them like you anymore.






Thank you.



Literally, like, resting bitch
face and that's her face...

She's not. She's not a bitch, man.

She's been through a lot. It's like...


So what? You've been through a lot.

Yeah, what are you talking

It's not your fault.

You can't just, like,
bury down your shit

to, like, take care of someone else.


So Nico's not gonna
do drag after all, huh?

Dude, you're so above this place.

It's a good call, honestly.

I'm not above the place, I just...

Something's up.

Parece que she was dating-dating
la Emma, and something happened.

Every time you say que
she was dating Emma,

oh, qué la.

After saying all that
homophobic shit about Vida.

Well, then it must have been more
complicated than we knew, right?


¿Y la Emma? ¿Dónde 'ta?

Le duele la panza or
something. Ahorita viene.

Hey, there! [LAUGHS]

Can a king get a drink?

Oh, shit.

Can you tell who I'm doing?

Not yet.


Yeah, you're straight up
Desperado right now.

That's real tight.



So what can I get for you, Antonio?

Um, whatever's got your
hands on it, I want.



How about a mezcalito? Neat.

You got it.

Has this place always been a queer bar?


EDDY: I guess after I got here,

and, um, got with the owner...

not this owner, another owner...

it sort of became that,

but we never used to call it that.

I never... never use that word.

We just made sure it was a
safe place for girls like us.

On the house.

To girls like us.



Mira qué coqueta.

I think she's just friendly like that.

Uh, no. I'm talking about you.


'Tas loca.

I'm just doing my job.


Whatever, fool. Stupid.


WOMAN: ♪ Estoy ilusionada ♪

♪ Estoy empecinada ♪



Sorry, I... I really
need to talk to you.

Can... can we...

WOMAN: ♪ Estoy empecinada ♪


I'm sorry about how things
happened at the quince.

[EXHALES] Oh, my God.

I thought this was about
something actually important.

It is important.

Because you should know that

I've never taken advantage
of someone like that.

I should have stopped it right away.

It's fine. We were both high.

That's the thing.

I wasn't.

I knew exactly what I was
doing and I just let it happen,

while you were totally fucked up,

which is... it's kinda rapey of me.


[LAUGHS] Come on, Nico.

It's not like I was an
unwilling participant.

How do you know?

What do you mean?

I just know.

But that's the thing is that

you can't possibly know
and neither could I.

I mean, Emma, I'm just, like,
fucking up everything left and right.


Like, I... I moved to LA

to get rid of the distractions
that I'd racked up in Brooklyn,

and I was gonna write.

I was gonna finish my fucking essays

that I've basically already sold,

and then I go to this
wedding, I meet you,

and now I'm in esta puta boludez, man.

And I did this. I
walked myself into this.

Shiny objects.

Yeah, the shiniest.



I can fix it.

This is basically my two-week notice.

Um... um, just because I'm not
gonna leave you guys high and dry.

- What?
- I'm gonna walk Eddy through everything...

that changed while she was
gone and as I promised, I...

I'll walk you all through it.

It's the drink program you
first hired me to create.

As a bar, you're basically
ready for cocktails.

Which, I'll allow myself
a little bit of pride over.


Look, I know it's not ideal.

But my friend has this house...

this big-ass house
in San Miguel Allende,

and I'm just gonna go
there and I'm gonna write

and I'm gonna finish these
essays with no distractions.

Okay? I need that.

Hey, guys, this is
running past Latino time.

Is there any way we can get...

Yeah, sure, uh, do you
have everything you need?

Yeah, no, we're ready.

Um, we just need to be introduced.

Oh, uh, right.



AMANDA: Okay, c... come on.

- Uh, yep.
- AMANDA: Right.

- Line 'em up.
- Yeah. Come on, guys.



- Whoo!
- Get it.


All right. What's up, party people?


How we doing tonight?

Y... yeah.

Y'all ready to see some
drag kings tonight or what?

NICO: All right, okay.

'Cause I hope you got your dollar bills.

I hope you sent your break-up text.

Get ready, guys.

It's about to get
fucking sexy up in here.

NICO: Give it up for our drag kings!


♪ You know us guys are macho ♪

♪ And once we get a chub ♪

♪ No dumb shit that we won't do ♪

♪ To prove that we are tough ♪

♪ How many times have I
said I'll protect you ♪

♪ And if you don't let me I get pissed ♪


♪ Girl, I'm your man and
I swear I'll respect you ♪

♪ If you don't know baby it's a diss ♪

♪ Because ma, ma, ma, ma,
ma, ma, ma, ma, machismo ♪


your bar! Fuck your bar!

Fuck your bar! Fuck your bar!

♪ Reina, you are perfection ♪

♪ You cook, clean, work ♪

♪ Raise our kids, mi reina, mi amor ♪

♪ I'd do anything for you ♪

♪ But I need a big dick
to fill these chonies ♪

♪ And washing dishes
might make it fall off ♪

♪ My dick will fall off if I work ♪


Oh, my God.

This is, like, my third piece.

Wait, Papi, hold on. I'll...
I'll help you in two seconds.

No, no, no, no, no, no.
Ya, ya, ya, terminé.

Las hermanas always make sure
to clean up after themselves anyway.

They're so good to me.

But wait, didn't you
have a thing with Emma?


I still sorta do.

I just wasn't feeling...

I'm not so much in support of
this particular event she put on.

Why not? What was it?

Just a kind of performance thing,

that I think is...

I don't know.

¿Qué pasa, muñequita?

This is gonna sound mean, but...

I don't wanna be
embarrassed for our bar.

For so long I was embarrassed of...

Well, just what it was.

House of vice?

Well, no.

Just that it wasn't very upscale.

When I lived in the Bay,

I ran around in certain circles and I...

I could never point it out
to people, you know?

But I shouldn't have been like
that. That was shitty of me.

- Ay, Lyn.
- Oh, sorry. I mean...

That was not good.

I should have been proud of it.

And the thing is,

the way that we've been evolving,

I have been proud of it.

I guess it's just not evolving
fast enough for me or something.

And Emma and I are a little
not on the same page about it.

Papi, I wanna make it top notch.

Like, the place to be.

And it has so much freaking potential...

Sorry, can I... can I say freaking?

- Okay.

Well, what I want to say is...

You haven't seen it
full of happy patrons.

Get's full, huh?

Oh, absolutely, and
it's been staying full.

We're making money every night.

But I...

I want it to be more than that already.

Rudy, my boyfriend...

He needs it to be more
than a freaking dive bar.

He doesn't say it but...

I can tell.

I need to be more than
his girlfriend that

owns a lame dive bar in Boyle Heights.

- Lyn, you're a business owner.
- Yeah.

But he never introduces me that way.

Today he could have so many times.

And he never once mentioned Vida.

And it's in his district.

I want him to be proud
to mention my bar.

You know?

"For I know the plans I have
for you", declares the Lord.

"Plans to prosper you
and not to harm you.

Plans to give you a hope and a future".

Jeremiah 29:11.

That's insane how you
remember all those verses.

God has a plan for your life, mi'ja.

If he put you in this position
with the bar, it's for a reason.

It's all part of His divine and
perfect plan for your future.

Tu novio and everyone else
will see that soon enough.

You just keep walking your path.

Now, you told your sister
that you'd be somewhere tonight

but you're here instead?

Successful business owners always
keep their word, muñequita.

I'm already so late, Papi.

Come on. It'll be faster if I drive you.



Thank you.


your bar! Fuck your bar!


your bar! Fuck your bar!

Fuck your bar! Fuck your bar!

Fuck your bar! Fuck your bar!

Fuck your bar! Fuck your bar!


That is your enemy,
you fucking hypocrites.

That space is the
definition of gentrification,

and yet you do nothing.

Shame on you for attacking
hardworking neighborhood people

while you let big bad corporate
move in on your watch,

you fucking cowards!

What, you too chicken shit
to fight the real fight?

You should be ashamed of yourselves.



Emma, I had no idea you were
randomly gonna be out here.

He just offered me a ride.

You liar.

What? No, Emma.

No, I was with Rudy
all day and his event

but I... I had to...
I got baptized today

- so I had to go to this thing.
- What?

What are you saying right now?

VICTOR: Hello, Emmita.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, Papi,
please. You have to leave.

- Please just...
- Papi?


Whenever you're ready,
mi'ja, I'll be waiting.

Get the fuck off my property.





Emma, I'm so sorry.

I-I-I didn't plan on you seeing him.

I-I mean it.

Today I really needed you.








WOMAN: ♪ Nunca quise ♪

♪ Detenerte ♪


♪ Pero cuando te dije que te quería ♪

♪ Era para siempre ♪


♪ En un mundo complicado
yo te sigo con mi luz ♪

♪ Nosotros enredados
no te suelto nunca, no ♪

♪ Even when you hide it I can
always see the real you ♪

♪ Duérmete en mis brazos ♪

♪ Mis alas te esconderán ♪


♪ Sabes que soy tu ángel ♪

♪ Fuerza eterna ♪

♪ Siempre guardándote ♪


♪ Lloro cuando tú lloras ♪

♪ Te cargo cuando te caes ♪


♪ Sabes que soy tu ángel ♪

♪ Fuerza eterna ♪

♪ Nunca te dejaré ♪