Vagrant Queen (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Nobody's Queen - full transcript

Say hello
to our little friend.

Winnibot, meet Elida and Isaac.

I'm calling her Winnibot.

That is a great name.

Lovely to meet you both.

If the pleasantries are over,
it would be wise for me

to list off technical faults
in my system.

Sounds productive.
Great idea.

Hydro-locked cylinders,

mass air flow sensors
at 10% capacity,

damaged alternator,
cracked camshaft,



loose combustion chamber,
missing piston...

- Okay, turn it off.
- We get it, man.

Honest, direct.
I love her!

If you prefer,

I can start smaller.

Urgent refueling is required.

Yeah, okay.
Let's get gas.

The refueling station
on Planet Qualla

has excellent ratings.

Good job, Winni.

Fill her up?
Thanks.

I know what you're thinking.

Why was I running her
so long on empty?

Destroying
the pistons like that?



Yeesh.

We had a bit of a situation
to get away from, okay?

You're judging me, aren't you?

It's ok, I judge me.

This looks like
beef jerky.

- You reckon it tastes like it?
- Last time you said that

you were on
the toilet for a week.

Okay, Operation Rescue Mom.

This fuel
will give us another hop,

but we'll need to stop off
again before Planet Wix.

Ooh, Froguu!

- For the trip.
- Stock up.

Still gotta figure out how we're
gonna get into Republic Space.

I told you.
Blast a hole in

- the force field surrounding it.
- Putting an impenetrable

force field around
an area of space

is the most despicable
waste of resources ever.

The Republic's more paranoid
than the monarchy ever was.

And that's saying something.

And the idea is
to go in stealth.

Explosions, not so stealthy.

No, but effective.

Ooh!

Aww. Why?

Right, well,
if we're not gonna blast our way

into Republic Space,
how else are we gonna

- get to Planet Wix?
- I'm working on it.

This doesn't seem like
a bad place to hang for a bit,

make a plan...

Well, not right here.

Way over there somewhere.

Oops!

- What is that?
- Froguu!

You've never had one of these?

- What's the alcohol content?
- None! It's pure sugar.

Chaz and I grew
up on this stuff.

- Right?
- I never had anything

- like this as a kid.
- Really?

Didn't you kind of get
anything you wanted as queen?

No.
My food was hand-prepared

and then eaten by four royal
tasters before it got to me...

- Cold.
- Hmm.

World's tiniest violin?

You have to make sure you
get the perfect flavour ratio.

- Are you kidding me?
- Your Majesty.

Will you come with us willingly?

I take that as a no?

Whoa, whoa!
These are just stun guns!

- No one needs to get hurt.
- Well, these are kill guns!

So leave!

Will getting shot at be a
regular occurrence with you two?

I mean, you get used to it.

Putting my gun down.

Let's just talk.

I think we got off on
the wrong foot, Your Majesty.

So sorry, Your Majesty.

And sorry about the mess.

I'll take this.

And these.

Get something for me too.

You're doing great.

You are crowned
Queen Eldaya XXIII,

Guardian of
the House of Bel-ior,

Empress of Arriopa
and all her planets,

and Queen of Eternity.

Holy Queen, my people
send me to you seeking justice.

The Governor of Pallas thinks
she deserves special attention.

Your Majesty,
Pallas is a mining colony

that depends on
food shipments to survive,

but transports
aren't meeting our needs.

I'm not even
asking for more food.

But please allow us to direct

some more of our industrial
workforce to agriculture.

That doesn't
sound like too much?

- It is.
- Governor,

this is not
the time for a petition.

But please, send your
people the queen's blessing.

This dress is trying to kill me.

By royal decree,
the queen can wear pants.

Thanks.

Why can't we help that woman
who asked for help for Pallas?

Pallas is our
largest neutral metals producer.

Any decline in production
could cause critical shortages.

We need them as they are.

I thought the Queen
was supposed to help people.

You are. But the kingdom
is far more important

than any single part of it.

Every change has consequences.

Let Pallas lower
their metal production

and the economy
of Vorr collapses.

Redirect food transports,
and Sestus starves.

But Pallas is already starving?

It's a complicated web
you'll learn to weave.

Where are your shoes?

I don't like to wear
anything I can't run in.

She's got a point.

What will I do with you two?

Why hasn't she woken up yet?

I'm not sure,
it should have worn off by now.

Yeah?

Well, why don't we ask
your buddy what the deal is?

Asshole.
Why is she still out?

Ah, yes.

Well, the last time
we knocked her out,

she woke up a lot sooner
than we expected,

so we used a slightly
higher intensity jolt.

It shouldn't cause any...

I mean, somebody had to
punch that guy in the face.

That face was begging to
be punched, right?

Ugh!
I deserve it.

Yes, he did.

His orders were to
bring Queen Eldaya...

Elida.

- ...Elida here, safely.
- And not shoot her

with a blast of electricity,
you fool.

She's not exactly
easy to talk to.

We thought if we just get her
back here, you could take over.

So, what?

You guys have just been
following me since Varook?

Why didn't you just
tell me your damn plan?

Coulda got her here a lot
safer than these two lamebrains.

You were nothing more
than a scavenger

with a loud mouth,
selling information

on our queen
to the highest bidder.

We weren't about to disclose

where our Loyalist
base camp was.

Judgey much?
I didn't sell her out, okay?

Not totally.

I took the brooch to her,
didn't I?

Told her about her mother.

So maybe instead of berating me,

you should take
a look at yourselves.

He's right.

You handled this in
a really bad way.

I know. But she's here now,

with her people,
and she'll be okay.

When she wakes,
we'll explain everything.

In the meantime,
make yourselves at home.

Damn right I will.

Where's the whiskey?!

Ow.
Oh.

Yeah.

She needs me, you know?

Taught her most of her moves.

Wow. So cool!

What?

I see that you are enjoying
all that this camp has to offer.

Who doesn't love a uniform?

Can I get you anything
else, Mr. Stelling, Miss Rali?

Just Amae.
I'm good.

Running low.

Ihred!
Did you know Isaac taught Elida

everything
she knows about fighting?

Well, not everything.
Some stuff.

Please,
Mr. Stelling, show me.

He really is magnificent.

Please show us, Isaac.

Yeah. Cool.

Can do.

Waa... wazaa... Ah!

- Oh, ah!
- Hey!

Ow.
Release him.

Oh. My Queen,
I'm so happy to see you awake.

- Could I offer you...
- Back up, creep.

- It's not what it looks like.
- She, uh...

- Yup!
- ...she interrupted me

before I got to show you
the real moves.

Mr. Stelling was just teaching
me some of his karate moves.

How you feeling, buddy?

Does... does somebody
wanna explain to me what

the hell is going on here?

I can help with that.

Hath?

I have missed you, Your Majesty.

You look good, old man.

Your friends tell me
you go by Elida now?

Yeah, I do.

- Let me explain why you're here.
- We'll give you both some time.

I'll be working on the Winni;

our pistons could use
really use some love.

There's an empty mining town
walking distance from here,

you might find
some old parts there.

Ooh, treasure hunt!

- Okay, let's get what we need.
- Uh, Elida.

Our council would really
appreciate a moment to talk.

I'm not going to let her
just go on her own. She...

I think SHE can handle herself.

Oh, no.
Of course, I... I was...

It's okay.
We'll be back soon.

You'll be okay?

You must be starving.

Think you can
bribe me with food?

Okay, let's go.

- Heading out, Mr. Stelling?
- None of your business.

Of course.

But, you'll need this
for the rodents.

Ugh! Oh, God.

Ah!

No thank you, jerk!

Tracking chip?

Coulda used some help
with some cannibalistic

karaoke freaks recently.

There was a... slight delay.

So why haven't you
rescued my mom yet, Hath?

Breaking into Republic Space
isn't so simple, Elida.

It's taken years to build
this army, but soon...

we'll be ready
to take on the Admiralty.

I don't care what you have
planned after we get my mom,

Hath,
I'm not going back to Arriopa.

After Wix, we're getting
as far away as possible.

I imagine you'll disappear well.

You're a hard person to find.

That was the intention,
you know.

- Stay under the radar.
- Seems you were doing a good job

until your friend
made quite the ruckus.

It's the only
reason we found you.

Yeah, it's a...

it's a long story with Isaac.

- And Amae?
- She's...

our mechanic.

Do you think I
offended her earlier?

You know, with the whole can't
let her go on her own thing?

It doesn't matter.

So...

how you plan on getting
into Republic Space, old man?

General Dessai would
like to talk to you about that.

Elida...

...you know your mother would

want you to
take the throne again.

To fight for Arriopa.

Yeah.

We'll just see what
she wants once we rescue her.

I am loving this
apocalyptic-themed

treasure hunt.

Yeah, this, uh, isn't as
fun as I thought it would be.

- Let's be quick.
- What is wrong?

You're being more intense
than Elida right now.

The last days on my planet
looked a lot like this.

Except with a
lot of dead bodies.

Oh.
Sorry.

Was it the Admiralty?

No, we were way out
of Republic territory.

Our planet was one of the many
casualties of the Narrows War.

Chaz and I were amongst
the few who made it out.

My family... but hey,
I was one of the lucky ones.

How old were you?

Uh, about five.

Everything okay?
Yeah. Uh...

I just realized that
my kid back home

would be about
five years old right now.

You know, I often wonder
what he or she would look like.

I hope that they
got Hannah's smile.

And her looks.

Definitely her brains.

That's probably
a holy terror for my wife,

that kid with any part like me.

No doubt.

But hopefully
your sense of humour.

Oh.

Ah, sweet crackers!

Bingo!

Oh, yeah?
Beengo!

Eh, close enough.

Yeesh, that is ugly.

Uh... yeah, just a heads up.

Uh, that hut right there,
three, two, run!

That is the worst sound ever!

- That is so unnecessary!
- Uh...

We're not gonna last in here.

Elida,
you remember Countess Dessai?

Now our general.

And this is Captain Volun.

We are pleased to see you alive.

Wasn't so hard
to stay alive on my own.

Got a lot harder once
your little goons

started coming around.

The important thing
is that you're here now.

That's quite the army
you've built, huh?

It is.

Look, I told your guys,
and I'll tell you,

I'm not going back to Arriopa.

What is it you want?

I want to get my mom.

News of her
imprisonment is quite recent.

What were your
goals before that?

Surely you weren't planning on
living out

the rest of your days
as a scavenger?

I do what I need to to survive.

A queen is responsible
for more than herself.

I'm not your queen.

I'm responsible for myself...
...and that's it.

I was ten.

I was ten years old
when the Republic attacked.

Is it my fault?
Am I responsible for the revolt?

No one thinks that.

The Republic army are
the only ones responsible.

We couldn't fight them then,
but we can fight them now.

You were only a child.

You deserve a real
chance on the throne.

And as far as I'm concerned,

the Republic
can have the throne.

I'm sorry you
see things that way.

We, however,
will never stop fighting

to reclaim our homeland.

Your mother
would be disappointed.

Come.

We'll discuss breaking through
the Republic force field.

Forgive her bluntness.

She spent years planning,
rebuilding...

dreaming of taking Arriopa back.

Yeah, and I spent years
trying to forget it.

She's right, though.

My mother will
want me to take it back.

But I can't, Hath.

Why am I queen?

Why not you?
Or Hath, or Miss Beukes?

- Who?
- Miss Beukes, our chef.

She makes really great muffins.

She could be queen
and feed everyone.

It's time you knew
just how special you are.

Why only
your bloodline can rule.

Cool!

Millennia ago,
a warrior came into possession

of an incredible energy
source known as the Sterzaad.

Forged from the heart
of a dying star,

its power was endless.

But perhaps
its most perilous influence,

it gave its owner
the ability to control minds.

The warrior brought it back
to Arriopa and ended all war.

He connected neighbouring
planets and formed a kingdom.

Your kingdom.

But as
the Sterzaad's power grew,

those who used it
became corrupt.

For centuries, Kings and Queens
took advantage of their people.

Finally, it was
hidden away and protected.

And your ancestors
promised to rule not as gods,

but as just leaders.

Would be a lot easier
to rule as gods, though.

What's easy isn't
always what's right, my love.

If I may have your attention?

The target is the
ancient monarchy tomb on Wix,

a desert planet
in our former territory.

Now known as Republic Space.

For years it has been surrounded
by an impenetrable force field.

The only way through
are border ports,

one of which
we'd have to destroy.

Whoa, whoa, wait, what?
You can't just...

Simply put,
we'd have to take out

- the station to get through.
- Alternatively,

we could smuggle ourselves
through as corpses

onboard a coroner freighter.

Brilliant idea, Dengar.

Uh... just spit-balling here.

Your plan's much better.

You wanna destroy a port?

A heavily guarded,
heavily armed Republic port?

We have grown
an incredibly strong army.

Our battalion could handle it.

And you'll alert
the Republic straight away.

If all of you go in there,
they'll know exactly where

we're going,
and maybe kill my mother

- before we even get to her.
- That's a very good point, too.

I know you want war.

But not when my mother's life
is on the line.

How do you suggest
we break through the field?

They're not
what I'd call rodents.

Thanks for the heads up,
Loyalists!

I should probably mention that
creepy Dengar,

he did give me
something to repel them.

Some sort of whistle
that made a really awful sound.

Where is it?

I left it back at camp.
I have highly sensitive hearing.

I thought he was just being
the usual asshole that he is.

Whoa, whoa, shit!
I'm sorry, I messed up!

Oh.

Thanks.

Ew...

We have to get out.

Uh...

surely they
can't climb, right?

No rodents enjoying
the rooftop patio.

That's a win.

Running low on battery again?

I swear I charged it this time.

Call Elida.

Consider Dessai's plan, Elida.

We're ready for this battle.

I just... it doesn't
feel right, Hath.

Perhaps this is less about
about Dessai's plan and...

more about the pressure of
taking up the throne again?

It's not just a rescue.

It's the start of our war.

We should be sneaking in.

You are the most
wanted person in the galaxy.

All eyes will be on you.

I... I'm not
sure how you think we could

- sneak into the Republic...
- No. No, no, no, no.

Camouflage.

Let's go, old man.

And that is why the Blue Bombers

will always be
better than the Rough Riders.

Wait,
how did we get on this again?

Oh,
I asked how you met your wife.

Ah, right. It was the best
game I ever seen in my life.

I didn't look at the field once.

It was all about her.

So, you left Earth five years
ago and have stayed faithful?

- Wow.
- I mean...

don't get me wrong, I mean,
it hasn't been easy, but...

yeah.

I'm guessing you're not
the long-term type?

What can I say, I love people.

What?

Well, just I've been spending
a lot of time with someone

- that hates people.
- Not all of them.

She chose us.

Yeah, Elida would have us out
of this predicament in a second.

I wish I had
a remote control for Peggy,

I could just fly her here. Yeah.

Isaac, that's brilliant!

Thank you?
But do go on.

Winni, you there?

That depends
on what you mean by "there".

In a metaphysical sense,
I am everywhere, but...

Winni-Bee,
love your thoroughness,

but this is an emergency.

- Are you anywhere near the camp?
- No. I am amongst

other ships
of the Loyalist party.

Unnecessarily far from camp,
in my opinion.

Winni-Bee! Can you to fly
the ship and come and get us?

That is within my capabilities...

- Great!
- If you had installed

the firmware updates
as prompted last night.

See? This is what happens
when you procrastinate.

Uh, can you just do it yourself?

I'm afraid I cannot.

You need to
manually enter permissions.

I have excellent
safety protocols.

So, um, can you just
leave the ship and come to us?

Absolutely.
Tracking you now.

f!

Have no fear.

Of all the SA2K models,
I am the fastest one.

It's only one stop away,
old man.

We'll be back by tonight.

And you won't tell me
why we're going to Wreckoor?

Nope, you'd try to stop me.

Yeah, that doesn't
make me feel better.

You're just
gonna have to trust me.

Hey, where's Winnibot?

Probably with Amae.

I offended her earlier,
didn't I?

Forget it.

Okay, making the hop... now.

A little help?

Hey, you are a real MacGyver,
you know that?

Thank you, I think?

Is that another one of
your MOW-vie references?

My life's gonna make
the most amazing movie.

When I get back to Earth,
producers are gonna be fighting

to death for the rights.

So, uh... how would this
particular reenactment go?

Well... I mean,
when I retell this...

...I didn't throw the rodent
repellent whistle away.

Ah, yeah.

Come on!
You got this!

Yeah. Let's go.

Uh...

You got this.

You can do it!
Come on, Isaac!

Ah!

Isaac!

Isaac, hang on!

Just...

- Come on, Isaac.
- I can't do it.

Yes, you can!
Let's go! Come on!

Get up!

You got it, Ma-gay-bar!

Close enough.

- Ready for round two?
- What?

It's okay.

Winni-Bee will be here
any moment now.

Being a scavenger for
the better part of a decade,

you meet some interesting folk.

I feel the word interesting is

being used in
place of dangerous?

- Mm.
- This man, he's your friend?

Oi!

You slimy intruders.

This is the private property
of Ferryman Ventures.

Put your hands in the air.

Friend might be a stretch.

- Let's go.
- Hey. What's up?

Did he just call US slimy?

Elida, we really
should've told Dessai

and the others about this.

- If something happens...
- Nothing will happen.

Trust me.

- Oh, my goodness.
- Clive, buddy!

Elida!

You brought me supper?

Oh, this one?

Nah, not this time.

Friend, not food, sorry.

Ah.

New hires.

They're a little jumpy.

- It's been a while.
- It has.

So, Clive...
I'm here to call in my favour.

I swear I've seen
her face somewhere.

That's not creepy at all.

Wow!

A fusion cylinder!
What a beauty.

We don't even need one of these,
but we should take it.

- Uh, Amae!
- Right.

Oh, yes!

A Thunderstrike Z500 regulator.

Distributes the same amount
of power from the diffusors

- as Winni, we just need a...
- Excellent, a little help here?

Right.

Oh, oh, let's go.

Oh, Winni-Bee's here!

Ah! Oh.

How do... how do we get to her?

Diversion is my middle name.

It's not.

Let's make you a pilot, Winni-Bee!

What?

Winnipeg out of range?

Oh no....

They can't
This is unlike Hath.

The human.
Where is he?

- I don't trust him.
- Perhaps.

General, you have a call.

What's going on, Hath?

I think Elida
should take this one.

Hey.

I took a quick trip to Wreckoor.

This my buddy Clive. Clive...

...these are
the people I mentioned.

Ah, see what you mean.

Very creepy.

Why are you on Wreckoor?

- Worst sound I ever heard.
- One second,

Clive makes a trip
into Republic Space every week,

trading small freighter ships.

He also happens to be
a top-flight smuggler, this guy.

- Aw.
- He'll be sneaking us

through the border.
No explosions needed.

- Your Majesty, I don't think...
- She's my mother.

And I'm going to
rescue her my way.

And I believe
this is the best option.

Good one.

We'll be back soon, General.

You're not staying for supper?

I've got some tasty
Kaglan blood muffins.

Next time, Clive.

Where is she?!

My internal navigation system

- points to Planet Wreckoor.
- What, why?

Yeah!
No!

No, no, no, no, no!

Ahh!

No. Ahh!

Oh, sweet baby crackers.

You should have mentioned

they were Zeblobian Rodents.

A simple high-pitched
frequency deters them.

Wait,
can you make that frequency?

I can.

But I'll have to transmit it
at 140 decibels.

- Very unpleasant for...
- Understood.

Go for it, Winni-Bee.

Oh.

Had you told me
it was Zeblobian Rodents

you were dealing with,

I could have broadcast
that sound over the intercom.

Live and learn.

We're alive.
Up top, partner.

Oh, yeah,
it took Elida a while, too.

But why?

It's what we do
back on Earth to celebrate.

Oh! Oh!

Yes!
That is what I'm talking about!

Hey. You, uh...
found the part all right?

Hey, you're back.
Yeah, we did.

A minor rodent issue,
but Winni-Bee helped us out.

Sounds like you had quite the
adventures today yourself?

Mm.
Not the most fun I've ever had.

But...

we have a way
into Republic Space.

Great.

Just hooked up a
Thunderstrike Z500 regulator.

She'll get to Wix just fine.

She's a great ship.

You're a great pilot.

Must be strange being here,

surrounded by
so much of your past

but in
a totally unfamiliar place.

Yeah. This queen they all see,

feels like someone else.

And that kid?

It's just...

there's so many things I wish

I could go back and tell her,
you know?

I used to obsess about that,

what I could change
if I had another chance.

Took me a while to accept
that I couldn't change the past.

Only what was right in
front of me, here and now.

Well,
I think I'm off to bed then.

Have a good one.

Hee hee!

It's ridiculous, Hath.

She's not
thinking about our war.

She's thinking about her mother.

This?
This was your plan.

And now we have no choice
but to follow along with hers.

- It's a solid plan, Dessai.
- Ugh.

It'll get us
through the force field.

- We have to go with you.
- Elida won't allow it.

I can take a small team.
It's all we need to retrieve it.

I'll send word from Wix
once we have the Sterzaad.

The Sterzaad is everything.

We cannot fail her again.

We won't fail Xevelyn again.

Meh...

We cannot win this battle today,
Hath.

Prepare the transports.

- We must leave now.
- Yes, Your Eminence.

Let me talk to them!

I'm their queen,
they'll listen to me.

Those people
don't see you as their queen.

Just an incompetent child

who they blame
for all their problems.

And they will kill you
if they can.

I'm sorry, my love.
There is nothing you can do.

They're inside,
we must get to the launch pad.

1,000 years
of murder and starvation

ends here tonight!
Find the queen.

No longer will
an incompetent child rule!

- Sir.
- Hmm?

Vessel approaching.
Occupant claims

to have information
on the queen.

Hello? Hello?

Wow!

Is this thing on?

Do you want what
I'm selling or not?

Why don't you invite
our guest in, Lieutenant?

Yes, sir.

We're nearing the coordinates
that your friend gave us.

So honoured to be
here with you guys.

Can't believe
I'm part of the team

that's going to be
rescuing the Queen Mother.

Can't believe we have to
take these morons along with us.

You're all right, Krob.

- Thank you.
- Thank you for giving us

another chance,
Your Majesty.

- We won't let you down.
- Not my choice.

It was our compromise.

Our battalion stays on Kestallan
If I can take a small team.

- And this is your chosen team?
- We'll be better.

There'll be no electrocuting
anyone with stun guns.

Hey!

I... I didn't even bring it.

See,
the bar has been set really low.

I've been told that
they'll be

on their best behaviour. Or?

We get to shoot them.

Again,
part of the compromise.

Approaching the Nautilus now.

If Wreckoor
is anything to go by,

it might be best if we invite
Clive onto our ship instead.

Uh... Hath, little judgmental.

You know, we don't all grow up
in royal abodes.

It smelt like rotting fish guts

mixed with
Kleothian worm excrement.

- Ew.
- Ugh.

Yeah, okay, we'll meet 'em here.

Nice digs.

This ship must have
no limit to its hops, right?

Pleasure to meet you, Commander.

Big fan.
Biiig fan.

You mighta heard of me?
Grubber McCoy?

Used to run with the,
uh, Spiders.

Freelance now, just FYI.

I do not enjoy time wasters,
do I, Lieutenant?

He does not.

Straight to business. I like it.

I like it! Look...

...it's like
I told your boys here.

What's it worth to you?

I can, uh,
give it to you for cheap.

Or free!
How's that?

I'll tell you where
the queen is, no charge.

Whoops.