Upstairs, Downstairs (1971–1975): Season 5, Episode 3 - Laugh a Little Louder Please - full transcript

Georgina continues to have many admirers and seems to go from party to party with a bevy of young men following her every move. One in particular, Robin Eliott, is particularly keen on her though Georgina doesn't quite reciprocate his ardent feelings for her. With Richard and Virginia away, Georgina convinces James to let her throw a party at 165 Eaton Place. It proves to be something of a wild party, where guests bring a bottle of liquor or wine to gain admittance - something that shocks the staid Hudson - and where some of the costumes being worn are more than revealing. When in a quiet moment Robin presses Georgina to marry him, she makes it quite clear that she simply wants to have fun and make up for the years she has lost. She is not ready for the outcome of her rejection. Meanwhile the new governess, Miss Treadwell, arrives in the midst of the partying and its aftermath.

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[Clock chiming]


Oh, it's Miss Georgina.

Isn't she in bed?

Come on.

WOMAN: Bye-bye, Dolly.

Bye-bye, Georgina.
- Bye, Georgina, bye.

MAN: Bye-bye, darling.

WOMAN: See you tomorrow.

Thank you, Robin.

Can't I come in?

No, you can't.

The servants
will be up soon.

Well, then we can
have a cup of coffee.

You've had three cups
at the coffee stall.

Ah, but I didn't have
a cheese sandwich.

Perhaps if I came in
and waited,

Mrs. Bridges could make me
a cheese sandwich.

If you go away now,

you can come to lunch.

- Can I?
- Yes.

I'm not sure
I can wait until then.

Well, you'll just have to.

If we were married,

I wouldn't have to
go away at all.

Oh, Robin.

Go away.

Good morning, Daisy.

Morning, Miss Georgina.

Come and help me undress,
would you?

Oh, Miss Georgina, your dress.

It's all right,

I pinned it back
in the cloakroom.

I knew Major Bellamy
would have a fit if he saw it.

Here, Lily, go and do the front
door brass for me,

there's a dear.

Oh, Daisy,
I've got my stairs --

Go on.

Oh, all right.

Hey, Dais!


LILY: He's still there --
across the road.

Who? Captain Elliott?

He's gazing up at
Miss Georgina's window.

Miss Georgina's bedroom
is at the back.

Well, I think it's romantic.

DAISY: I'd best leave this
for Rose to mend.

Just look how
Miss Georgina tore it

pinning it back like that.

What time did she get in?

Not till 6:00.

And she won't stir now
before 11:00.

All right for some,
isn't it?

Oh, I like to see Miss Georgina
enjoying herself.

She worked hard enough
in the war.

Well, she wasn't
the only one.

Why should she have all
the larks now?

Eddie, you don't
grudge it her?

No, but, I mean, we're all
in this war together,

and, afterwards, it was going
to be different.

Well, it's not so different
for me now.


Oh, I'm sorry, Dais.

I just -- I'm fed up at being
at everyone's beck and call

all the time.

It wasn't so bad
before we were married.

Well, we've got a place.

It's not exactly ours, is it?

No, but it's better than...

Eddie, we have got a place,
and we've got our jobs.

Yes, I know, and we've got to
be grateful.

No, not grateful exactly, but --

Listen, servants aren't
so easy to get nowadays.

Nor are jobs.

Dais --

Edward, you haven't seen
my runnock have you?

Your runnock, Lily?

What would I be doing
with your runnock? Ha.

Wouldn't catch me putting my
hands on a young girl's runnock.

Edward, you are awful.

What have I said?

Well, you won't find your
runnock in here.

Wasn't it in your box?

No, I want to do
the morning room,

and I can't find it.

Well, it's probably
in the scullery, Lily.

Well, I've got to get upstairs.

Daisy, here...

What is it?

Well, the other day,

his lordship and the master
were talking about something

in the car that Lady Astor
had said.

Lady Astor?

Yes, you know, that woman member
of Parliament.

Oh, I don't agree with women
members of Parliament.

Well, neither do I, but that's
got nothing to do with it.

Now, she was saying
that a friend of hers

is trying to bring a bill
into Parliament.

- Oh?

I don't know what you're
talking about, Edward.

I'm trying to tell you

If I don't go and do
the Major's room

while he's having his breakfast,
it'll never get done.

EDWARD: Never mind that now.

Now, listen, this is important,

and I want you to have time to
think about it.

Think about what?

Well, they're talking about,

on account of them being
so many unemployed,

about helping them to emigrate.

- well, we're not unemployed.
- No.

Oh, Eddie,
you didn't mean us?


Where would we go?

Canada, Australia.

What, and go
into service there?

But they don't have
servants out there,

that's the good point about it.

What would we do?

I-I'd get some land
or something.

Oh, Eddie, you've never even
worked as a gardener.

The only thing I ever grew

was a geranium in a pot,
and that died.

Oh, Eddie, we've got
a good place here.

We can be together
and save a bit.

When Mr. Hudson retires,

you may even be butler.

EDWARD: Hmm, some hopes.

There's a lot worse off
than we are.

Yes, I know.

I suppose you're right.

Still, at least
we are amongst friends,

so to speak.

Edward, have you not got
any work to do?

The chauffeur is not supposed to
sit around a table

in the servants' hall
drinking cups of tea.

Daisy, do you know where
I found this?

Oh, no, Mr. Hudson.

Lily was just looking for that.

Daisy, I can't find it.

Oh, Mr. Hudson,
you've found the polish.

Yes, I found it --
on the doorstep.

I do not expect to open
the front door

of 165 Eaton Place
and trip over a tin of polish.

Kindly, be more careful
in future, Daisy.

Oh, well, I didn't do the front
door this morning, Mr. Hudson.

Lily did it.


I must have put it down

when I was looking in my box
for the Brasso.

I'm ever so sorry, Mr. Hudson.

That's all right, Lily.

I thought it was your task,
Daisy, to do the front brass.

Oh, yes, Mr. Hudson,
but this morning,

Miss Georgina asked me --

Daisy, as head house
parlour maid,

you have some authority,

but I do not expect you
to abuse it

by leaving your work to others.

Edward, I thought
you were going to press

his lordship's winter suits
during his absence abroad.

Come along, Lily,

we've all got a busy day
ahead of us.

Can I have this piece of pastry
please, Bridgey?

"Mrs. Bridges," if you please,
Master William.

And I haven't got time

to make patty-cakes for you
this morning.

I've got to make these pies.

That one for the nursery --

Alice says we're not to call it
the nursery any more.

It's a schoolroom now,

because we're having
a governess.

Oh, I beg your pardon,
I'm sure.


Come and grease these
pie dishes for me.

RUBY: I'm doing the vegetables,
Mrs. Bridges.

WILLIAM; I'll do it.

MRS. BRIDGES: Oh, all right,
Ruby, all right.

I don't think I want to
have a governess.

MRS. BRIDGES: Well, you must
have someone to look after you.

Rose can look after us.

MRS. BRIDGES: Rose can't
teach you your lessons.

Oh, thank you, Master William,
that will do splendidly.

Anyway, you need somebody to
stop you quarreling.

What was it all about
this morning, eh?

Alice is always reading,

and when I ask her to play
with me,

she says, "Shut up" and throws
something at me.

Oh, does she now?

Thank you, Master William.

I wish I could live with
Edward and Daisy

in their little house.

MRS. BRIDGES: In the mews?

Ladies and gentlemen
don't live in mewses.

That's for servants.

WILLIAM: I like Edward.

MRS. BRIDGES: I hope you like
everybody downstairs.

WILLIAM: I'm sure I shan't like
the governess.

she won't be downstairs.


it's not good for you to be
in the kitchen too much.

Here comes Mr. Hudson,

you see what he says
when he sees you.

There will be four for luncheon,
Mrs. Bridges.

Lady Newbury is staying.

Oh, there now.

I'll have to make
another pudding.

FREDERICK: It's only one extra,
Mrs. Bridges.

MRS. BRIDGES: I dare say,

but it's one thing
when Captain Elliott

stays on as an extra one
for luncheon,

but quite another thing
when it's a luncheon party

which includes Lady Newton.

Oh, Frederick, you'd better put
the bomboniere on the table.

Right, Mr. Hudson.

Would be the one thing I never
cleaned yesterday.

No peace for the wicked, eh,
Mrs. Bridges?

WILLIAM: I'll help you,

I can take the polish up,
can't I, Mr. Hudson?

Very well, Master William.

But you'll have to wear
my apron.

MRS. BRIDGES: I suppose I'd
better make my apple delight.

HUDSON: Here we are then.

I think I'll have to give them
a savory as well.

Oh, I thought we was going to
have a nice,

quiet, peaceful time
with his lordship

and her ladyship away.

You've got to keep your feet
still, Robin.

You've got to keep your feet
still, Robin.

What? But you can't keep
your feet still

when you're dancing.

- But you have to.
- It's a contradiction in terms.

It's not.
Now to the side.

ROBIN: But you said I
couldn't move my --

Oh, wind it up, James.

Yes, but you have to keep
your feet still.

And move...

Is that what they call
the shimmy-shake, Mr. Hudson?

I have no idea, Frederick.

Get about your business.


There, what do you think
of that?

JAMES: I'm never going to dance
that in public.

And why not?

ROBIN: It's all the rage
in America.

DIANA: I think it's rather

I don't think I shall learn it.

HUDSON: Would you care for me
to mix the cocktails, sir?

JAMES: Oh, no, thank you,

I'll do it.

What's for you Diana,
Bronx or Martini?

Martini, thanks.
Why aren't you working, Robin?

I thought you had a job?

ROBIN: Well, I had,
but I got the sack.

GEORGINA: He was selling
painted hair curlers.

DIANA: I don't believe it.

Yes, it's absolutely true.

I answered this advertisement
which said,

"Do you want to make
your fortune?"

And, of course, I did.

So, I went along and saw this
man called Stellenbosoh,

who's invented a new kind
of hair curler.

DIANA: Is that really his name?

Well, something like that.

Anyway, he said he would let me
in on the ground floor,

but I had to go out and meet
the public.

So, he gave me a suitcase
full of the beastly things,

and I had to go trudging round
all sorts of places

like Waddington that
I've never even heard of.

Oh, Robin, not a salesman!

Ah, yes, but that was just
the first rung on the ladder.

Hmm, but he fell off.

What happened?

Well, most of them
didn't even answer,

they just peered at me
through the curtains, anyway --

JAMES: They didn't like
the look of you, eh?

ROBIN: Well, that is very

Anyway, finally one woman
did answer the door.

She was wearing a night-dress
and a dressing-gown,

and she had her hair curled up,
you know,

with little bits of rag.

So, I explained that I had come
to talk to her

about a marvellous
new invention.

She said, "Oh, you want to speak
to my husband?"

"No, madam," I cried,
"I want to speak to you.

Are you comfortable in bed?"

And she slapped my face
and slammed the door.


GEORGINA: He's making it up.

No, I'm not,
I promise you.

Anyway, I went back to old

and I said was he sure
that there was such a fortune

in these things,
when women could

quite easily curl their hair
with bits of rag

which cost them nothing at all?

And 10 minutes later,

I had joined the ranks
of the unemployed.

Oh, Robin.


ROBIN: Thanks.

Dinner ready yet,
Mrs. Bridges?

No, it is not,

and I've got a luncheon party
to prepare.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Ruby, go into the larder
and bring me out

a big jar of them apples.

And then come back and mash
some potatoes.

ROSE: Oh, Ruby.

Nursery tray ready,
Mrs. Bridges?

No, it is not, Rose,

you'll have
to get it yourself.

I shouldn't have to do this
by rights.


Hurry up and come and mash
these potatoes.

RUBY: They should have
a nursery maid.

HUDSON: Oh, well,
when the governess arrives,

the children will customarily
have their luncheon

with her in the dining room.

ROSE: Yes, well,
until such time,

Daisy will have to see
to the nursery meals.

I'm not carrying no trays
upstairs for no governess.

It's Fred's place to do that.

No, it isn't, Daisy.

I'm not the nurse's footman.

HUDSON: Now, that is quite
enough of that!

I shall assign your duties

in consultation
with her ladyship,

and you will all
carry them out.

This is not
the kind of household

in which we indulge
in petty arguments

about who is to
carry a tray upstairs.

Oh, that's terrible.

It says here there are nearly
two million unemployed.

Well, that should make us all
very thankful

that our paths have fallen
in pleasant paces --

er, peasant places --

Once out of a position,

it is not so easy
to find one again,

as you should
well know, Edward.

JAMES: Well, when does Bunny
come back, Diana?

Oh, I don't know,
tomorrow, I think.

And why aren't you with him,
like a good little wife?

Oh, James, have you ever seen
Bunny being bucolic?

Well, if you have, of course,
you know how grisly it is.

He has this idea he has a duty
to the land,

a sort of debt.

Oh, like the debt
I owe my tailor.

Except that your tailor

probably knows
he'll never get paid.

the land isn't satisfied

unless Bunny spends
several days in every month

trudging round it
in wellington boots --

squelch, squelch, squelch --

scratching the backs of pigs.

No idea what a disgusting
noise it makes

when you scratch a pig's back --

a sort of bristly --

I adore pigs.

DIANA: So does Bunny.

Scratching a pig's back
is supposed to

send them into a sort
of ecstasy.

But, actually,

when Bunny's leaning over
the pen

with a glazed look in his eye,

it's almost impossible
to tell them apart.

Diana, why are you so beastly
to poor old Bunny?

I'm no more
beastly to him now

than I was
before we got married.

ROBIN: Well, perhaps he hoped
you'd be nicer.

Then, he was a fool.

Which, of course, he is.

I don't think people
ought to get married

unless they absolutely
adore one another.

Don't think I'm saying
that you and Bunny don't.

Of course not.

Is your father away,

Yes, yes, he and my stepmother
are in Geneva.

They rushed off yesterday.

My dear stepmother is one of
those people

who either takes a carpet bag
into which

she's thrown nothing but her
favourite ornament

and a clean handkerchief
or 40 pieces of baggage.

Yesterday, it was the 40 pieces
of baggage.

There we were standing
at the station,

frantically searching
for a hatbox.

Without which
she could not possibly

spend the night on a train.

Perhaps her hair net
was packed in it.

Perfectly reasonable.

I'll look forward to the day

when everyone travels
by aeroplane.

Then they'll have to confine
themselves to a carpetbag.

You don't really think

that day will ever come,
do you, James?

Well, I don't see why not.

I mean, if Allcock and Brown
could fly the Atlantic...

Yes, just as
a special effort.

It'll never be like trains
with timetables.

ROBIN: Well, imagine,
an aerial Bradshaw.

What does your father
find to do in Geneva?

I hate Switzerland,
all those wholesome people

wearing woolen stockings
and yodeling.

Oh, he's managing this
League of Nations thing.

ROBIN: Well, there's not
much point,

is there, now the Americans
have ratted on it?

JAMES: None at all, no one gives
a damn about it here,

especially the Socialists.

Pacifist during the war,

and now all they can
talk about is wages.

I know, don't talk politics.

GEORGINA: Let's talk
about dancing.

Oh, I'd like to dance
all night and all day.

JAMES: You very nearly do.

What time did you get home
last night?

Oh, I don't know.

We started at the Berkeley,

but then the band went home,

so we went on to
Sally Brent's house

and danced to the gramophone.

Oh, and what did Lord Brant
think of that?

Luckily, he was away.

- Let's have a party here.
- Hmm?

With Uncle Richard away,
it's the perfect opportunity.

- Oh, now wait a minute.
- Oh, yes, do!

And then Georgina and I
could dance all night.

No, no, thank you.

I don't want crazy people

doing the shimmy-shake
in this house.

James, don't be such a bore.

You used to be such fun.

Since the war, you've been
positively tedious.

Sorry, I didn't realize.

Oh, Jumbo, do say yes,
it would be such fun.

You'd enjoy yourself,
really you would.

We'd have a band
and all our friends.

Do say yes.

Luncheon is served, sir.

Ah, thank you, Hudson.

I -- I don't know.

Oh, that means yes!
What fun!

Now, what kind of party
shall we give?

How about a baby party?

Everyone having to arrive
in perambulators.

No, that's been done.

Everything's been done,
that's the trouble.

Yes, but a bathing party's
always quite fun.

GEORGINA: I don't fancy wearing

last year's bathing dress.

Well, you could always be
terribly daring

and come as one of those

bathing beauties
in the moving pictures.

Well, that'll just be next
year's bathing dress.

I tell you what,

let's have a servants' ball.

All dress as housemaids
and footmen.

I'm not sure Hudson
would like that.

You wouldn't mind,
would you, Hudson?

I think it might lead
to some confusion, my lady.

Oh, look, why not just call it
a fancy dress party,

and leave everyone free
to come as they choose?

Oh, no, then Bunny will wear his
Pierrot costume again,

which is grisly for words.

JAMES: Well, why shouldn't he?

Freedom, that's what we all
fought for, wasn't it?

Well, of course, that's it.

DIANA: What?

We'll give a freedom party.

DIANA: What do you mean?

Birds, wood nymphs, satyrs,

DIANA: I think
it's a wonderful idea.

HUDSON: You remember the gold
and silver ball, Mrs. Bridges,

HUDSON: You remember the gold
and silver ball, Mrs. Bridges,

at Londonderry House,
when Lady Marjorie

appeared as Marie Antoinette?

Oh, yes.

Hmm, and his lordship,
Mr. Bellamy, as he then was,

went as Louis the --
oh, Louis the something --

in lace collar
and velvet knee breeches.


MRS. BRIDGES: I do hope
Miss Georgina

has a pretty costume.

LILY: Well, it seems funny
that they should have it

when his lordship
and her ladyship

are away, though.

Oh, I expect it'll just be
a young people's party, Lily.

More informal
than it might have been

if her ladyship had been here.

Well, I must see Master William
up for bed.

When did you say it was
going to be, Mr. Hudson?

Next Thursday, Rose.

Rather sharp notice.

That's when
the governess is coming.

It never rains but it pours
in this household.


The governess!

Are you sure this is all
you want to wear

for an open motor?

It's got a thick collar, Daisy.

Slip through to
the front bedroom

and see if you can see
Mr. Bakerfields two-seater.

I must just say good night
to the children.

Well, at least
you're not going on

that Captain Elliott's

GEORGINA: Oh, I'll probably
come back on that.

It's bad for you,

going to bed
with your hair wet.

What does it do to you?

It -- it makes you deaf.

Oh, Rose, it doesn't.


- Oh.
- Hello, Rose.

I just came to say good night.

Georgina, you look lovely.

Oh, thank you.

Just like a fairy princess,
doesn't she, William?

I think she looks silly.

ROSE: Master William!

Well, it's lucky everyone
doesn't think so.

Have you got lots of men

in love with you,

Oh, not lots.

Two or three perhaps.

Good night, sweet dreams.

Good night, William.

Give me a big kiss.

I'm too old to kiss people.


Well, I'll kiss you then.

You needn't kiss back.

Good night.

Good night, Rose.

Good night, Miss Georgina.

Good night.

Isn't she lucky, Rose?

Nothing to do
but enjoy herself.

Robin, what are you
doing here?

Well, I thought
I'd follow you

on my bike as an outrider.
- Oh, Robin.

Well, you'll be glad of me
if Harry gets a puncture

in his beastly old motorcar.

You'd better take this,
Miss Georgina.

Mr. Bakerfield may not to have
thought to put one in.

Thank you, Hudson.

Oh, Miss Georgina,
about the party.

How many guests
will you be expecting?

We'll have to be thinking about
food and wine.

Oh, don't bother
about drinks, Hudson.

We're going to make it
a bottle party.

A bottle?

Hmm, everyone arrives with
a bottle of gin

or wine or something.

Well, it's the easiest way,

because as soon as people hear
there's a party,

they do tend to turn up,
and then the drinks run out.

You mean uninvited guests,
Miss Georgina?

Oh, if they get too tiresome,

we'll get Edward and Fred
to throw them out.

Or I'll shoot them
with this.

Robin, put it away.

Good night, Hudson.

HUDSON: Good night, sir.

ALICE: "The goblins drew back,

howling on every side.

They were tumbling over each
other in heaps

in their eagerness to escape
from the cave,

when a new assailant
suddenly faced him.

The queen with flaming eyes
and expanded nostrils,

her hair standing half up
on her head rushed up

All right, that's enough.

You're frightening,
Master William.

Of course, she's not.

I don't mind a few goblins.

- There, look.
- Ugh!

Anyway, you'll have to clear
the table now

because we're going to put
the carpet down.

Oh, Rose, you are a nuisance.

ROSE: Oh, am I?

Well, your governess
is coming soon,

and you can call her
a nuisance for a change.

WILLIAM: I bet she'll be like
a goblin queen.

ROSE: Well, I don't see
why she should.

I think she'll be more like
the old spinning lady.


"The princess opened the door
and entered.

There was the moonlight
streaming in at the window,

and in the middle of
the moonlight

sat the old lady in her black
dress with the white lace

and her silvery hair mingling
with the moonlight."

Well, I don't think she'll be
quite like that neither.


Why didn't she come here first

so that we could see
if we liked her?

Well, anyway, she won't take
any notice of you.

You're just a silly little boy.

- No, I'm not!
- Yes, you are.

- No, I'm not!
- Silly little boy...

FREDERICK: You've both
started up again.

ALICE: Frederick!

Now then, Master William,
that is no way to behave.

But she called me
a silly little boy.

Oh, you don't want to take
no notice

of what the ladies say,
eh, Rose?

Now, if you two will have
a truce,

we can lay the carpet.


Come on, give us a hand
with the table.

Master William,

I'll send you to
see my Sergeant Major.

ROSE: Thank you.

We've got to do something about
the decorations, James.

Wish we could have nymphs
and fauns

painted on the wall.

Oh, if only Augustus John
would come

and do some of
his splendid nudes.

I don't suppose Uncle Richard
would like that.

JAMES: No, neither would I.

You know, Dolly said if she was
really supposed to be

as free as air,
she'd come with nothing on.

So, I said if she felt like it,
she'd better do it.


GEORGINA: Only 10 acceptances
so far.

Do you suppose that means
that only 10 are coming,

or that everyone is coming,

but only 10 have bothered
to answer?

JAMES: Really, Georgina,
I've no idea.

Can't think why you started
this party in the first place.

GEORGINA: What's the matter?

Are you afraid
I might enjoy it?

JAMES: Now, Georgina,
that's not fair.

You know very well, I like to
see you enjoying yourself.

But I can't.

I can't, James,
unless you do, too.

James, we lost four years
of our youth

when we had to be miserable
and frightened

and watch all our friends
being killed one by one.

Well, they're dead,

and there's nothing
we can do about it.

So, let's forget it
and have some fun, please.

All right,
we'll have fun.

We'll have the most stupendous
party ever seen.

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, there's Robin.

Oh, you're not going out
on the motorbike again?

GEORGINA: We're going down
to Brooklands

to watch the motor racing.

Tell him I won't be long.

Oh, Hudson,
that'll be Captain Elliott.

Tell him I won't be long.

Very good, Miss Georgina.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning, Hudson.

Miss Worsley will be down
shortly, sir.

Major Bellamy
is in the morning room.

- Good morning, Robin.
- Morning, James.

Would you care
for some coffee, sir?

Oh, Hudson, that would
be splendid.

I've been up since 6:00
working on the bike.

Of course, it was the magneto,
and I can't afford a new one,

so I had to take it
all to pieces.

HUDSON: Did you have time
for any breakfast, sir?

Well, as a matter of fact...

HUDSON: I will see what
Mrs. Bridges can produce, sir.

Oh, thanks awfully, Hudson.

Do you know,
it's a damned nuisance

not having any money.

I wish I could afford a car

like that lucky devil
Harry Bakerfield.

JAMES: He has a rich,
if unpleasant, father.

ROBIN: Yes, I'm devoted
to my pa,

but he's going broke
nearly as fast as I am.

You know, I don't think he'll be
able to hang on to the estate.

JAMES: What, Abbotswood?

You won't have to sell
it will you?

Well, it looks like it.

Probably to old Stellenbosch.

You know, James, you and I
joined the wrong profession.

We should have been
war profiteers.

JAMES: You found a job yet?

ROBIN: No, not a chance.

Did think of going over
to Ireland.

They still want ex-officers
there for the auxiliaries.

JAMES: Hmm, not a job I fancy.

ROBIN: Yeah, it would
mean leave...

Did Georgina tell you

we were nearly arrested
last night?

Hmm? what for?

Well, Dolly had this
marvellous idea

of going along to Limehouse
to try and find some Chinamen,

and see if they would lead us
to an opium den.

But all we found were a couple
of drunken sailors.

And then the police arrived

and said we were causing
a breach of the peace.

Which, of course, you were.

Well, anyway,

they arrested
the drunken sailors instead.

Tonight we are going to
the Berkeley.

We think it is safer.

Isn't it -- isn't it a bit

you know, taking Georgina
out every night?

Oh, the Berkeley's
not too bad.

You can dance 'til midnight
on a jug of beer.

JAMES: Robin?

ROBIN: Mm-hmm.

JAMES: I love Georgina dearly,

but, well,
she's a bit scatterbrained.

ROBIN: Yes, I know.

JAMES: I mean, she settled down
a lot during the war,

all that nursing but --

ROBIN: Are you trying
to warn me off?


All I'm saying is you
mustn't depend on her too much.

ROBIN: It's not a question
of depending.

Just that everything's
so bloody,

you've got to have
something to hang on to.

Mrs. Bridges had a York ham
in out, sir.

She thought you might care
for a little.

Hudson, you are a trump,

and so is Mrs. Bridges.

ROSE: Many hands
make light work.

ROSE: Many hands
make light work.

Work shared is work halved.

ROSE: That's ever so heavy.

FREDERICK: Here, I'll take it.
Where do you want it, Rose?

- Over there.
- All right.

Mind that, Master William.

DAISY: This carpet looks
really nice.

ROSE: Hmm, it comes from
Miss Elizabeth's room.

See, that's where she spilt
that pot of rouge.

Never quite been able
to get it off.

LILY: Oh, it doesn't show
though, Rose.

ROSE: Her ladyship said
we've got to make the room

look really nice.

DAISY: Well, I reckon
you have, Rose.

- Aren't you pleased?
Daisy, give us a hand.

WILLIAM: I liked it
as it was before.

FREDERICK: Well, you've
still got your rocking horse in.

DAISY: Look, we'll have to
remember to call it

the schoolroom now,
won't we?

ALICE: And that desk's mine,
not William's.

WILLIAM: I don't want it!

I don't want a governess,

ROSE: Well, you'll like her
when she gets here.

DAISY: She'll like
this room, too.

ALICE: And you're not to
make it untidy.

WILLIAM: She's not coming
'til Thursday!

ROSE: Well, I'm not going to do
this room again.

We've got the party
to think of Thursday.

Miss Alice,
I'm surprised at you.

Lady Newbury, sir.

- Oh.
- Hello.


Nice to see you.

I just called in to see what
you're wearing at the party.

Oh, I thought I'd go as
a sans culotte.

DIANA: What on Earth's that?

JAMES: French Revolutionary --

literally without trousers.

DIANA: How literally
are you taking it?

JAMES: Not very.

I thought I'd leave
that to Dolly.

What are you going as?

DIANA: I don't know.

You've just given me an idea.

Do you want --
do you want a cocktail?

No, thanks.

Bunny's traveling up
this morning,

and insists that I shall
meet him for lunch.

JAMES: How are things
between you and Bunny?

DIANA: Oh, you know how things
are between me and Bunny.

JAMES: No, I don't,
or I wouldn't ask.

It's funny, isn't it?

During the war, I used to think
"Bunny will be killed,

and then I shall find out
that I do love him after all."

But he wasn't killed.

If he had been...

every armistice, I should have
been like my sister-in-law,

sitting in a heavy black veil

with tears running
down my cheeks.

Do you think Georgina's
in love with Robin?

I don't know.
I don't think she knows.

DIANA: I'm sure when
we were their age,

we always knew whether we were
in love or not.


But that generation,

because of the war,
know too much.

They spend their time
trying to forget it.

Oh, well, on with the dance.




FREDERICK: Do we need any other
kind of glasses, Mr. Hudson?

HUDSON: I have no idea,

It depends what bottles
the guests bring.

LILY: Do you know,

Rose said that at
Lord Purbrighfs house,

they just tipped all the bottles
into the bath,

and then they just dipped
their glasses in it and --

HUDSON: We shall not be doing
anything like that here, Lily.

We will serve champagne
when the guests first arrive,

and you, Frederick, will take
any bottles from them.

In due course, these will be
opened and served

in the appropriate glasses.

FREDERICK: Yes, Mr. Hudson.

EDWARD: Do I have to blow all
these balloons up, Mr. Hudson?

It's making my head go pop.

Oh, I'll help you in
a minute, Edward.

I love blowing up balloons.

EDWARD: Oh, thanks.

Where have they got to go
when they're done?

In the hall, Edward.

I understand Lady Dolly

is bringing a piece
of statuary in

to complete the decoration.

Oh, Mrs. Bridges,

you have not forgotten supper
for the governess,

have you?

MRS. BRIDGES: Well, she'll just
have to have had soup

and vol-au-vent
and some of my almond slice.

I hope that's good enough
for her.

Trust a governess
to want a tray

when I'm here doing
deviled lobsters.

RUBY: Why can't she eat it
in servants' hall?

We could lay it on corner
of table.

HUDSON: That is out of
the question, Ruby.

Miss Treadwell will have a tray
in her room, Mrs. Bridges.

MRS. BRIDGES: Oh, well,
don't worry me now, Mr. Hudson.

I'm trying to get this
galantine out.

You sure that's right,
Miss Georgina.

Yes, of course it is,

ROSE: Miss Georgina.

Oh, Rose,
is that my crown?

I got the bend out.

I don't think it'll show.

Now, where's your costume?

JAMES: Liberté, égalité,

and the boring brotherhood
of man.

Oh, James, you look splendid.

I feel a bloody idiot.
I can't dance in these shoes.

Of course, you can.

JAMES: Yes, well come on,

What the devil is that?

MAN: Excuse me!

HUDSON: Of course,
be very careful!

WOMAN: It must be at
the foot of the stairs

so everybody can see it.


WOMAN: Whee!

JAMES: I can hardly see
the damn thing.

GEORGINA: Dolly, it's the most
obscene thing I've ever seen.

It's gorgeous.

JAMES: Did something happen to
the fig leaf or something?

MAN: Dolly can part with some
of her vine leaves.

GEORGINA: No, no, that's what
the balloons are for.

We are not putting
balloons on him.

DOLLY: Then after midnight,

when we untie the balloons
and they float away

taking all our
inhibitions with them,

we are as free as nature

first made man
when wild in woods

the noble savage ran.

MAN: That's rather good.

DOLLY: Georgina,
you look divine.

What are you?

The Statue of Liberty.

I'm a wood nymph.

Since there are bound to be
dozens of satyrs and shepherds,

I expect to be chased like mad
all night.

I'll start now.

MAN: I have my trident now!


No, no, no!


Oh, good evening.

WOMAN: Oh, good evening.

- Miss Treadwell?
- Yes.

How do you do?

I'm Georgina Worsley,
and, well,

this is Major Bellamy.

JAMES: Oh, how do you do?

HUDSON: Perhaps you would care
to see your room --

JAMES: Tommy, I think we ought
to time ourselves

to see cocktails in
the morning room.

I'm so sorry, we seem
to be a bit disorganized.

Oh, that's quite all right,
Major Bellamy.

Yes, well, Rose
will look after you.

Now then, everybody,
come along...

TREADWELL: I thought
the children would be in bed.

ROSE: Oh, well,
they would have been normally,

what with the party
and you coming,

we really couldn't stop them.


What's she like, Ed?

Well, she didn't say much,
just sat in back.

Wouldn't sit in front
with me.

That's quite correct,

her ladyship often

sits in the front with me.

[Doorbell rings]

I'm Miss Treadwell.

You must be Alice.
How do you do?


TREADWELL: Stand up, William,
and shake hands nicely.

How do you do?


Well, Rose, if you'll
show me to my room

and then see that Master William

and Miss Alice get to bed.

Can't we stay up and watch
the guests come to the party?

They're wearing
funny clothes.

TREADWELL: No, I don't think
that's a very good idea.

I'll see you in the morning.

We have breakfast in the dining
room of course?

ROSE: Oh, yes.

Good night then.

Good night,
Miss Treadwell.

Good night.

MRS. BRIDGES: Have the musicians
arrived yet, Mr. Hudson?

They have, Mrs. Bridges.

A Negro band.


You men?

[Horn plays]

[Music Begins]

Oh, Robin!

I thought you'd
never get here.

Where have you been?

Well, I couldn't get my horns
to stick on.

What on Earth are you?

The faun!

GEORGINA: Oh, wonderful.

Come on,
let's go and dance.


Frederick, look sharp.

Yes, Mr. Hudson.

Oh, Tommy, you're like
an octopus.

Go away and find Dolly.

She likes it.

I don't know
how you resist me.

Mother says I'm irresistible.

Well, go and dance with your
mother then.

I can't,
she's in Biarritz --

gambling away
the family fortune.

Bunny, what are you
doing in here?

Why aren't you dancing?

BUNNY: Well,
you know I hate dancing --

Unless you'd like to?

DIANA: Why, have you been
taking lessons?

BUNNY: Well, I'm quite good
at the foxtrot.

DIANA: Oh! It's SO hot.

BUNNY: Would you like
some champagne?

I've got my own secret
cache here.

There you are.

Diana, don't you think
We're a bit...

a bit old for
this sort of thing?

DIANA: What do you suggest
we do instead?

Scratch pigs?

I wish you'd get angry
when I say things like that.

They're meant to hurt you.

BUNNY: Oh, Diana,
I'm sure I'd know

if you really meant
to hurt me.

DIANA: I wonder.

Oh, hello.

What are you two doing
skulking in here?

Come on, Diana, it's our dance.

- If you say so.
- Yes, shimmy-shake.

I used to like it

when they used to
have dance cards.

Kept you up to scratch,
old son.

Come on, do your duty,
teach me the shimmy-shake.

DIANA: I'll tell you what.

Bunny ought to go and find
the dancers

asking for the foxtrot.


ROBIN: What's in here?

ROBIN: What's in here?


Brushes and brooms.

Let's go in here
and get our breath back.

I'll be as good as gold.

ROBIN: Life's hopeless
in this country now.

I think I shall go abroad.

Oh, don't do that.

ROBIN: Well, I don't really want
to unless...

Well, I wouldn't mind
if you came with me.

GEORGINA: I'd quite like
to go to America.

ROBIN: Well, let's go then.

It would be rather fun.

ROBIN: We could go
if we were married.

GEORGINA: Robin, I don't want
to get married.

- Of course you do.
- I don't.

You love me,
I know you do.


I'm awfully fond of you,

but I don't want to
spend the rest of my life

with you and nobody else.

Oh, but you wouldn't have to.

We'd still keep all
our friends,

but we'd just always
have each other,

someone to hang on to.

I don't want anyone
to hang on to.

Look, I tried to
hang on to people

during the war,
and they were always killed,

so I said I'd never hang on to
anyone ever again.

Come on, we've got
our breath back.

Let's go and dance.

I can't live without you,


No, I mean it.

If you don't marry me,
I'll kill myself.

It's too sick making
when you say things like that.

You don't mean it,
it's just stupid and boring.

Are you coming?

I mean it.


[Balloons bursting]

MAN: They say there's some
deviled lobster.


Come on.

Your salmon mousse
is going down rather sweet.

MRS. BRIDGES: Oh, good!

DAISY: We could do
with that other one.

Oh, well, would you get it

out of the larder
then, Daisy?

Have they started on
the puddings yet?

ROSE: Yes, but they're
holding up all right.

How about the galantine?

Oh, plenty of that left.

EDWARD: Here, save some for us.

MRS. BRIDGES: Oh, yes,
we only need one of them.

Well, I've nearly got the tray
ready for the musicians.

I suppose them black men

do eat the same sort of things
as ordinary people.

Well, I don't see why not.

FREDERICK: ls the band's supper
ready yet, Mrs. Bridges?

Yes, just ready now, Frederick.

you'd better go upstairs

to the gentlemen's cloakroom.

Sitting Bull's torn his costume

and wants to know
if you've got a safety pin.



MRS. BRIDGES: There you are,

Oh, Eddie!

MAN: I say, I haven't had
any supper yet.

Well, I'll find you
some supper

if you find me some more

JAMES: Oh, I say do you think
Charlie Chaplin is free?

Yes, of course he is,

the Little Tramp
from the open road.

That's why we love him.


Hell and damnation!

WOMAN: Are you all right?

That's quite all right, sir.

I can never understand

by what stretch of
the imagination

Bunny's costume could be
described as

an illustration of freedom.

Well, Oliver said --

Oliver said that the costumes
people chose

were a reflection of what
they really wanted to be.

Geraldine always wanted
to be

an incompetent tramp.

And Bunny, in his innermost
soul, is...

- A clown.
- Not a clown, a Pierrot.

And I was told we could come
dressed as we liked,

and I remember going
to those concert parties

at Littlehampton
when we were children.

So, Bunny in his heart is
a concert party.

A clown!

No, no, Pierrot.

And I am a wood nymph,
a child of nature.

WOMAN: I say,

Where does one go
to be sick?

Oh, excuse me.

- Oh, thank you, Rose.
- This way, madam.

Do you think at heart
that I am a revolutionary?

- Oh, no, James.
- Oh, probably, darling.

In your heart of hearts,

you hate this boring life
for what it is

and wish to change it
for something different.

TOMMY: I've found
a splendid pudding,

a sort of almondy cream.

I've eaten most of it.

You don't want any, do you?
Then I'll finish it.

There's some very strange
people here.

You sure you invited
all of them?

JAMES: I'm quite sure we didn't.

TOM MY: That man that came
with Lettie

dressed as a monkey,

he's swinging from a chandelier
in the drawing room,

and Hudson, obviously wishing
he was dead,

has climbed up on a table,

is trying to stop him before
he brings the ceiling down.

JAMES: Oh, do you think we ought
to go and help him?

- No.
Certainly not.

The whole point of tonight
is that we should have

absolutely no responsibility
for anything.

[Loud THUD]

TOM MY: There goes
the chandelier.


[William screams]

There are goblins in the room!
Horrible goblins!

TREADWELL: No, there are
no goblins there.

There's nothing to be
frightened of.

WILLIAM: Horrible goblins!

TREADWELL: I promise you,
no goblins.

No, you must have been dreaming.

You must have been dreaming.

Fetch me James.

TREADWELL: Nothing to cry about.

ROSE: Mr. Hudson,
I thought --


ALICE: What's the matter?
What's happened?

Go back to bed at once, Alice.

What's happened?

Oh, no, you must go back
to bed, Miss Alice.

A gentleman just fell down.

You should be asleep.

are you sure he's...

I'm afraid so, sir.

Shall Frederick go and fetch
the police, sir?

The police?
Do we have to?

And I will telephone
the doctor.


GEORGINA: James, Fred said that
Robin had had an accident.

What -- oh!

JAMES: Oh, no, don't look.

MRS. BRIDGES: You pour out,
would you, Daisy?

I feel all of a tremble.

Where's Mr. Hudson?

EDWARD: Oh, he's putting
the silver away, Mrs. Bridges.

MRS. BRIDGES: Oh, to think
of such a thing

happening in this house.

DAISY: I keep thinking of him
standing there,

gazing up
at Miss Georgina's window.

MRS. BRIDGES: Glad I sent him up
that bit of York ham.

HUDSON: Thank you.

MRS. BRIDGES: Thank you.

ROSE: Mr. Hudson,
did the police say

if there'd have to be
an inquest?

HUDSON: They did not say, Rose.

But I'm afraid there
will be one.

The young gentleman having...

RUBY: Well, will we have
to give evidence?

You won't, certainly, Ruby.

You don't know nothing.

FREDERICK: Who do you think

will have to give evidence,
Mr. Hudson?

Well, Miss Treadwell,
because she first found

Captain Elliott's body,

and, I suppose, myself
and possibly the Major.

Miss Georgina won't have to,
will she?

HUDSON: I trust not, Daisy.

They may want to know
how he came to have a gun.

It was in his pocket.

Well, it fell out when I put
his cloak down.

DAISY: Why didn't you take
it away from him?

What, out of his pocket?

I couldn't do that.

That's what he must have
been doing

when I saw him going upstairs.

He must have been
to fetch it then.

You saw him?

Well, yeah.

Well, I mean,
I didn't know, did I?

Well, it wasn't my fault.

JAMES: Jolly good of you
to come, Bunny.

BUNNY: Well, I thought I'd just
pop round

and see if there's anything
I could do.

Don't suppose there is though,
is there?


Not unless you fancy
seeing his parents for me.

They've traveled up from
Wiltshire this morning.

They're staying at Browns.

At least during the war,

we only had to write letters
to the parents,

we didn't have to go
and see them.

BUNNY: I suppose he'll be buried
at Abbotswood.


Can't get away from it,
can we, Bunny?

BUNNY; what?

JAMES: The war.

Georgina thinks we can,
but we can't.

How's Diana?

BUNNY: Oh, you know,
she's a bit upset.

She's spent the morning in bed.

JAMES: Yes, so did Georgina.

Thank you, Hudson.

He didn't leave a letter,
did he?

JAMES: No, thank God.

Oh, Rose?

Miss Georgina's locked
her room.

I don't know whether
to wake her or not.

ROSE: She's up.
Give her a call.

Miss Georgina?

Miss Georgina, I've brought
your breakfast.

GEORGINA: I don't want any.

Well, why not just have
a cup of coffee?

GEORGINA: Come in, Daisy.

The door's locked,
Miss Georgina.

GEORGINA: Oh, I'm sorry.

I'll take that into her.

ROSE: Well, Miss Treadwell,

Miss Georgina's probably
feeling a bit upset.

Well, naturally.

She might prefer to see
someone familiar.

Thank you, Rose,

but I think I know best how
to deal with Miss Georgina.

I myself was engaged to
an officer

who was killed in the war.

I think I know how she feels.


Goodness, what a lot
of people.

Good morning,
Miss Treadwell.

I'm sorry, Daisy,

I -- I really don't want
any breakfast.

I'm going down to
Croydon Aerodrome

to see Mr. Bakerfields
new plane

and have lunch with some
friends of his.

Oh, and I'm going to
Lady Cunard's this evening.

So, would you put out
my silver dress?

I shan't have much time
to change.

Really, Miss Worsley,

I should have thought
after last night --


It did rather spoil the party,
didn't it?

Rose, I like the children
to have milk

and digestive biscuits
at 11:00.

Will you bring it up, please?

I will inform Lily,
Miss Treadwell.

She will see to it.

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