Ugly Betty (2006–2010): Season 3, Episode 6 - Ugly Berry - full transcript

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it's not gonna be a problem.

i didn't let kimmie get to me
in high school.

- i won't let her get to me here.
- i'm just saying, she used you.

i always knew
she was the same old...

rhymes with ba-zitch.

okay, lil' hilda.

i was naive
to trust kimmie keegan.

- but what can i do about it now? nothing.
- you can make sure

that she's not putting
a steak knife in your back.

but it's not a competition,
and you know what?

we're both gonna be so busy,



we probably will never
run into each other.

it's, like, time
to make a decision already.

i mean, it's not my fault
i wear clothes so well, right?

- what can i do?
- kimmie?

oh, this is nika and fiorina.
they're just getting me ready.

and you are at my desk
because?

i'm just getting ready for lunch
with talia from french "vogue."

we're discussing a benefit
to save the llamas.

- we'll be done soon.
- daniel.

- daniel.
- good morning, betty. good morning, kimmie.

i ran into beau flynn
at marquee.

- he has a film at sundance.
- uh, your plumber called.

- he wants to do a party, and i said "mode" would
cosponsor. - there is a clog. he wants
to shut off your water.

okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
first things first. betty.



thank you, daniel.

- i have a lot to go over with you.
- like what?

thplumber.

maybe just that for now.

okay. then how about food?
i'm gonna need breakfast

if we're planning
a major sundance blowout.

- huge news, kimmie.
- i'm feeling ya, brah.

- come on. let's go make it happen.
- oh, is there any chance

- i could get a little brekkie, too?
i famished. - yeah, sure. betty, do you mind

getting a little something
for kimmie, too? thanks.

yeah, i'd be happy to.
feeling you, brah.

there it is. breakfast.

thanks. i'll let you know
if i need anything else.

actually, you know,
if you do need something else,

you should probably...
do it yourself.

i was happy to get you breakfast
because daniel asked me to,

but i work for daniel.

whatever. just remember,
i'm an editor now.

see? kimberly keegan,
associate editor.

taste that.

mode a meade publication
kimberly keegan associate editor
100 meade plaza south, new york ny 10016

well, we have, like, a thousand
associate editors, you know.

what's your title?
what your card say?

i don't have a card.

oh, right.

that's because
you're an assistant. darn.

editor...
assistant to editor.

editor... assistant.

in just two weeks,

i've gotten higher
than you have in two years.

you know, i just wonder
if you're gonna be

an assistant
for the rest of your life.

oh, and you can keep the card.
i have plenty.

the magazine industry
is getting hit hard.

i know i'm-i'm
just an accountant,

but budgets are
a lot like fashion-

- you'd rather not see red.
- very funny. uh, perhaps you can wrap this up.

- i have a meeting with tom ford.
- yeah, this was great, mort. thanks.

you two, stop.

i may not be an owner
of this company,

but my last name
is on this building,

- and i am telling you to wake up.
- mom, we got it covered.

i don't think you do.
now alexis may have had

the occasional
murderous impulse,

but she also had
a keen mind for numbers,

which you two do not.

you need to bring in
someone to run this business.

dear claire,
setting us straight

like a poor man's sally field.

neither i nor daniel
cobbled our power together

with the intention
of giving it away.

i'm not talking about
giving anything away.

i'm talking about a c.f.o.,
a managing director,

someone who reports
directly to you.

mort, enlighten my friends.

please give them an honest
assessment of our finances.

if we keep going
the way we're going,

before you know it,
you two will go

from being the owners of meade

to the owners of nothing.

you look like you could use
a little help there.

- oh. hi, jesse.
- let me get a couple of those.

oh, no, no, no, no.
don't worry about me. i'm fine.

seriously, hand 'em over.

my parents taught me
to be polite.

- well, thank you.
- sure.

so, uh,
what's the guitar for?

got a gig?
am i using that word correctly?

yeah. it's an open mike night
at some coffee shop.

i'll probably get booed.

- no, no.
- nah, maybe not.

you know, last week, some dude
read ten pages of his journal

and then ended with a harmonica solo,
and they liked him, so...

you'll be fine.

so how goes the, uh, fast-paced
life of a magazine editor?

oh, i'm not an editor.

i mean, i want to be,

- but for now i'm just an assistant.
- oh.

- i don't even have business cards yet.
- i hear that.

- it's like, what does it take to
get noticed in this town?
- right?

- yeah.
- i mean, i feel like
everybody else is getting chances

- while i sit around and grab people breakfast.
- you know, super b., you strike me as a dreamer.

well, yeah.
i mean, i guess i am.

oh, me, too. that's why
i tell myself every day,

"don't give in to the doubt."

and if you want something,
you gotta go for it.

- * go for it, betty *
- um, what are you doing?

i'm serenading you with advice.
isn't it obvious?

* go for it, betty,
no need to get sweaty *

* just go for it, betty *

* i know that you're ready *

* yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah *

tell me more.

so i was leaving

and the manager's like,
"are you kimmie from 'mode'?"

and i was like, "yeah,"
'cause i am, and he says,

"come back tomorrow. it's gonna
be bumpin'." i say, "why?"

he goes, "are you down
with young jeezy?"

- i was like, "am i down with young jeezy?"
- hey, kimmie.

- hey, sexy.
- busy, busy. let's talk later, okay?

- so then i ran into jade fmpton from "elle"...
- did she just give us

the "busy, busy.
let's talk later" blowoff?

- we invented that blowoff.
- yes, we did, to remind the
little people around here

that we e king and queen
of this particular prom.

and now kimmie's
turning it on us.

i don't like it when the masses
get ideas, marc.

- we best keep an eye on that one.
- mm.

okay, people, listen up.

let's talk march.

let's talk sizzling hot list.

the submissions
were great.

- everyone came in with very good ideas.
- i was only blind with rage two times.

okay, here we go.
assignments.

so who is sizzling hot?

russo, sizzling hot resort.

emily, sizzling hot shoes.

kimmie, sizzling hot club.
nice work. really nice pitch.

uh, peter, sizzling hot hobby.
cara, sizzling hot...

charlie...
sizzling hot workout.

blah, blah, blah.
* go for it, betty *

* you know that you're ready,
go for it, betty, go for it *

how come all those people

get to do something
in the hot issue?

because they submitted ideas.

- why didn't i submit an idea?
- uh, you tell me.

- i guess i - i didn't know i could.
- of course you could, betty.
you've been here two years.

if you want something,
you gotta open up your mouth,

- just like every time i screw up.
- okay. can i do something for the hot issue?

yes.

really? yes? you mean it?

- i mean it. pitch me something.
- when?

- now.
- now?

do you want this or not?
sizzling hot. go.

um, okay.

uh, sizzling hot, um...

uh... sizzling hot...

uh, fruit.

- what?
- you know, how everyone's

always trying to find that new
thing to eat, that thing that-

that will increase brain power
or reduce stress,

something they can keep in their
desk and pop in their mouth

to get an edge in today's
hyper-competitive world.

the sizzling hot fruit.

this is the first time
i get to vote. the first time.

papi, last year
you voted five times

on "dancing with the stars."

only because
that kristi yamaguchi

is an asian ball of fire,
but this is for the president.

i've dreamt about it
for a long time.

well, you're not the only one
who's excited

about the election.
got big plans.

- what?
- to promote my shop.

yeah, the polls are
right around the corner,

and justin is
gonna hand out flyers,

- dressed in a red,
white and blue suit.
- no.

i think
it's gonna be a really big day

for hilda's beautilities.

- and for democracy.
- i got a job!

ay, betty, i left mexico

so my family wouldn't have
to sell fruit on the street.

no, i get to choose this
winter's sizzling hot fruit.

it's a quarter page in "mode"
with a picture,

and i'm in charge.

i'm in charge.

mmm. i like the carambola.

unh. so five minutes ago.

you're right.
it was everywhere last winter.

- what about the durian?
- ay, no. this thing stinks.
pass me the dragon's eye.

don't bother.

the name is much more
interesting than the flavor.

- believe me.
- mmm. kiwi.

- ki-won't.
- you're right. that's boring.

i need to find something
dazzling, unpredictable.

it might be my only chance.

hang on. i got it.
the tico berry.

what?
dad, i've never even heard of that.

it-it-it's brizilian,
very rare.

i learned about it
from this, um, busboy once.

interesting guy.

here it is.

ay, papi,
that is one ugly berry.

well, don't judge it
by the outside.

- find out what's inside.
- "succulent, flavorful,

rumored to have
special healing powers."

- hey. hmm?
- let me look this u

succulent and flavful-
reminds me of me.

mom, inappropriate.

well, there's not much here,

except something
on someone's blog.

hmm.

oh, my god.

what?

oh, my god.

what?!

all right, people,
listen up.

we have a very important
announcement.

daniel, she's your girl,
so go ahead.

betty has scored a giant coup
for the sizzling hot issue.

her choice for sizzling hot
fruit, the... tico berry.

ahem. is the beloved fruit
of supermodel adriana lima.

"growing up
as a young girl in brazil,

"adriana would spend the summers
on her grandfather's farm,

"where he grew tico berries.

"she ate them every day.

she creds them
for making her beautiful."

amanda, they don't have any
in the cafeteria.

it's not for me.
it's for my friend.

so la lima
has agreed to a cover

and a feature story for us.

this is big. adriana has
never done a "mode" cover,

so we're gonna cut
the sizzling hot budget,

go all-in on the shoot.

betty, it's yours.
run with it.

what-what do you mean?

you made it happen. we want you
to be the project manager.

really?

well,
that's initiative, people.

sometimes it comes
in unlikely brown packages.

thank you.

oh, sorry, kimmie.

we're gonna have to cut
the hot club. maybe next time.

wow. i'm so happy for you.
congratulations.

thanks. thank you.

game on, betty.

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marc, the car is not here.
make it get here.

well, do something now.

aren't you
wilhelmina slater?

oh, dear lord.

i'm sorry to bug you.

i know you must hate this,
but i am such an admirer.

well, you're probably either gay
or a gossip.

neither, i'm afraid.
connor owens.

connor owens from crittenden?

formerly. just took
my stock options and ran.

you did
a nice job over there.

oh, a good book
always sells itself.

the trick is
marketing the brand.

- well, that's not happening for our company.
- really? that's criminal.

any publisher in town would love
to have your titles.

uh, nice meeting you,
connor.

connor, would you have
any interest in coming to meade?

i don't think
that's gonna happen.

danny meade and i
don't quite get along.

really? how so?

oh, let's just say there's
a little bit of history there.

you take care, ms. slater.
it was great to meet you.

daniel, hey.

i was just wondering
if there's anything i can do

- to help out on the adriana lima shoot.
- uh, yeah. talk to betty.

suzuki,
always great to see you.

well, danny, we love a scoop
at "fashion buzz,"

and landing adriana lima for
the cover of your march issue

- is two scoops with whipped cream
and sprinkles.
- well, the truth is,

it's my incredibly capable
assistant who made it happen.

- you should talk to her.
- mm. little person does good. great angle.

where is this plucky lady
with a dream?

uh, betty? b-betty.

yes?

makeup.

okay, i can't stand
to see makeup done badly.

i was on tv once,
and i know how to do it.

- please let me help you.
- um, no, thank you. i'm fine.

no, you're not.

i mean, what you're doing is
seriously awful.

- well, maybe you and i have dif
- look, if you're gonna represent the magazine,

you have to look good.

okay, if it's impoant
to "mode," it's important to me.

- keep your eyes still.
- why? um, eyelashes?

trust me. people watching
at home go straight to the eyes.

i hate to say this,
but congratulations.

you know, you've done
a really good job

- with this whole adriana thing.
- wow. thank you.

so do you want to practice
what you're gonna say?

well,
i am a little nervous.

this unique cover

gives "mode"
a special opportunity

to show a new side of adriana.

one of her favorite sayings is,
"tico is life,"

so this incredible photographer
we've hired

is going to use
the tico berry

as a gateway to adriana's
childhood memories,

as in a surrealist painting.

i know that i'll be
the first in line

- when it cos out on the newsstands.
- awesome.

i forgot
to tell my family

that i'm gonna be on tv.
i'll be back.

okay. we'll just finish
when you get back.

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how do you guys lift
these lights?

- i mean, they look so heavy.
- i work out a lot.

yeah, i can tell.

so do you think this is gonna
be bright enough for tv?

yeah, we're good. any more,
and it might be too hot.

well, i don't think it's bad
if things get too hot, do you?

well...

papi, the polls open
at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow.

you gotta be dressed.

can't have my clients see you
in your crazy old man pajamas.

you worry about yourself.
you're crabby in the morning.

i'm cute. justin!

what?

- ???
- i'm not wearing this.

sweetheart, that is so good.
who could rest that?

- anyone with taste?
- oh, come on.

you look great.

hello?

what?

aunt betty's
gonna be on television!

stylish people of "mode," could
we have a little quiet, please?

we go live in five, four...

this is suzuki st. pierre
with breaking news.

"mode" has scored adriana lima
for their sizzling hot issue,

and it's all the doing of
this young lady-betty suarez.

speak, betty.

um, well, suzuki,

i was researching our sizzling
hot fruit, the tico berry,

when i discovered

that adriana's grandfather
grows them on his farm.

farms.
we know what those are.

those are the things

fashion people knock down so
we can build our weekend houses.

tell us more, betty.

what other newsworthy crumbs
can you drop on the ground

for gossip-hungry
"fashion buzz" viewers, hmm?

- wow.
- she's doing so great.

- i bet you she gets her own show after this.
- quiet. i want to hear what she says.

steamy brazil, was it?

well, suzuki, um...

this unique cover is
a great chance for "mode,"

um, to show...

um, show, a-a different side
of adriana.

not so, uh, old.

i mean, uh, not the same old-

- not the same old thing.
- now, uh, does the tico berry go good with vodka?

would it make
a good tico-tini?

uh, her...

uh, her berries-
adriana's berries...

um, well, adriana's berries
have never been, um,

been seen before.

ooh. uh, sorry. sorry. um...

- holy crap.
- there goes her show.

what-you know what?

um, i'm sorry.
just o-one second.

suzuki, hi.

hi.

as our girl adriana says,
"tico is life."

and when you see this cover,
you'll know why.

i know i'm gonna be
first in line at the newsstand

- the day it comes out.
- well, you'll be right behind me, 'cause i can't wait.

you heard it first.
adriana lima in "mode,"

from kimmie keegan,
associate editor.

great work, kimmie keegan.
wonderful job.

betty, so, uh, everying you've done so far
to make this cover happen
has been fantastic.

you're working very hard. you're
putting the pieces together.

ugh! just rip it off, daniel.

the tv spot was a disaster.

kimmie will work on the cover
with you to add a little polish.

any questions?

no questions.

i'm so thrilled about this.

- i'm really excited for us to be
working gether, betty.
- moving on.

anyone's name who is not
on the masthead may leave.

you are unbelievable.

you sabotaged me.

uh, it's not my fault

you don't have the face
or pores for television.

no, you just couldn't stand
that i was in charge,

- so you had to weasel your way in there.
- i happen to like being in the spotlight,

and unfortunately, there's just
not room for the two of us.

yeah, well, we have to work
as a team, so it'll have to be.

- that's one way to look at it.
- and what's the other?

the shoot is in two days.

my bet is, is that
by the time it happens,

one of us will be gone,
and it's not gonna be me.

you know daniel, i was thinking
about what your mother said.

about hiring a c.f.o.?

well, i only know him
by reputation, but, uh,

- i heard that connor owens is an exceptional
- no.

well, he has the best business
mind this side of iger.

absolutely not

daniel, i-i thought
we had reached a place

where we could work together
on things.

isn't there a chance

you could put whatever silly
issues you have with him aside

and do what's best for meade?

daniel,
i'm so sorry to bother you,

but i really don't think
that i can work with kimmie.

why not?

well, i don't trust her,

and she brings out
this side of me

where i want
to scratch her eyes out.

betty...

do you think
i like working with wilhelmina?

well, no.

there isn't a day
that goes by

that i'm not fighting with her
about something.

like it or not,
she's my partner.

- we have this magazine to put out. - but
kimmie's trying to take my project from me.

- so don't let her.
- no, but she doesn't play fair.

that's her problem. you gotta
worry about yourself.

this is what you wished for,
right?

as you move up,
things aren't gonna get easier.

my advice to you-
be a professional.

take the high road.

and christina aguilera
walks in with her child,

and she's breast-feeding.

how did it happen?

we used to be the ones spreading
rumors, mocking coworkers,

ruining self-esteem,

because god made us pretty,
god made us mean.

sometimes he gives
with both hands.

but look around.
it is kimmie's world.

okay, but before we go nuclear
on her, we need more.

i agree. and you know me,
i hate going nuclear.

- you love going nuclear. - i do love going
nuclear, and destroying someone is fun.

oh, look. it's sad betty.

betty,
we need to talk to you.

there's a problem, something
that affects all of us,

like global warning.

it's kimmie,

and the inconvenient truth
is that she's evil,

- and she has to go.
- what do you mean, go?

- we need to kill her.
- get her fired.

- whatever.
- and we need your help.

she's working with you
on the shoot, right?

i don't know, guys.
getting someone fired...

- betty, she threatened your family.
- what? when?

okay, she didn't do that,

but she did weasel her way
into your big moment, right?

yes.

it's not exactly
taking the high road.

betty, yes or no?

no.

people, behold.

this is a loulou de la falaise
reproduction

of marie antoinette's
famous framboise necklace.

poor girloved her berries.

betty, do you think
this might be a good idea

for the adriana lima shoot?

- maybe. yeah.
- it's just a suggestion.

it could be
the perfect complement

- to that beautiful oscar
de la renta gown.
- bom dia.

bom dia. adriana

- mwah. adriana. mwah. tudo bem?
- tudo bem.

- hi.
- i haven't seen you since milan. how you feeling?

i've been great except for
my broken finger.

you should see thether girl.
joking. joking.

but i'm really happy to be here

to do this photo shoot
with my beloved tico berries.

oh, we are just thrilled
to have you.

kimmie has been telling me all
her ideas for this photo shoot.

the theme of memory is genius.

uh, kimmie's ideas?

i don't know about genius,
but it could work.

and guess who we got
to shoot it?

phillipe loire. we saw him
at t club last night.

- cliff was supposed to shoot that cover.
- that skank needs to be stopped.

- kimmie, what is going on?
- oh, i saw in the schedule
that you gave out

that adriana was landing
lastight,

so i met her at the airport
and introduced myself.

we hit it off,

so we went out for some dinner
and some drinks.

and then you told her
that my ideas were your ideas?

well, maybe you
should have done more

- than just send a fruit basket to her room.
- adriana, hi.

- hi.
- i'm betty suarez. nice to meet you.

- i work here. actually
- sorry, but we, um, we have to go.

sorry, guys. but, um, a. lim.,
it's spa time.

i'm sorry to interrupt.
i'll see everybody tomorrow.

and remember, tico is life.

don't worry about her.
she's just someone's assistant.

screw the high road.

i'm in.

let's kill kimmie.

it's a pleasure to be here.

daniel knows me from harvard,

but unlike
some people in this room,

i didn't grow up rich.

nobody ever gave me anything.

i grew up in a council flat
in sydney.

if that's where i end up,
fine by me.

is there a point
to this delightful mini bio?

- oh, daniel.
- i never take a job for the money.

- ah.
- when i ran accounts for beard & phelps

and a client
didn'tike our campaign,

i didn't take no
from some v.p. of marketing

who couldn't find his nuts
with a gps.

i went over the idiot's head
until i was standing in a room

with the person who had
the power to say yes,

and then
that person said yes.

because if i learned one thing
talking to my old man

on a prison phone
through a glass partition,

it's never take on
something you can't defend.

and i can defend this company.

but i won't lie to you.
there's work to do.

you need a new business plan.
here's what i'd do.

read it through.
it speaks for itself.

thanks for your time.

thank you.

daniel?

it's an odorless,
colorless gas.

when she wakes up, she's got
heroin stuffed in her pockets.

police come in, whisk her away,
problem solved.

- i don't know how i feel about sending
her to prison. - yeah, i'm gonna have
to go with betty on this one.

- too far, mandy. too far.
- i say she deserves

- whatever horrible punishment she gets. marc,
- your boyfriend's getting cheese on my couch.

cliff, napkin.

honey, i know you're upset
and anger-eating

because you lost
the adriana shoot,

but trust me,
kimmie will be dealt with.

it just has to be appropriate.

- do they still make guillotines?
- not constructive.

- wait. that's it.
- marc, you're scaring me.

the marie antoinette necklace

- that wilhelmina wants to use in the shoot.
- yeah, but that was just a suggestion.

that was no suggestion. that was
vintage slater scheming.

that necklace
is up for auction,

and if a "mode" cover
spikes the price,

wilhelmina gets a cut.

and if that necklace isn't
around adriana lima's neck...

then someone
will lose their head.

ay, louisa,
you look beautiful.

- and yohave your "i voted" sticker,
so you get 10% off.
- all right.

- justin's outside. he'll
cash you out.
- all right.

okay, thank you.
okay, who's next?

hi. come on in. come on in.
sit down.

okay, i'm thinking, like, um,
a sexy michelle obama

or maybe a stylish cindy mccain.

oh, excuse me. mija?

oh. ruminate on that. i'll
be right back. okay, good.

- sweetie, are you gonna take a break soon?
- i got business out the wazoo.

- but you haven't had a chance to vote yet.
- yeah, papi, i'll do it if i have time.

mija, do you realize how
important your vote is?

mija, you are an american.

ay, spare me
the civics lesson, okay?

you know what's american?

making money.

i am not about to slow down

the best day of business
this salon has ever had

to vote on something
that i don't care about.

it's got nothing to do with me.
now i gotta go. i got business.

hi. sorry about that.
you know what i was thinking?

senator clinton.
it's a style that never quits.

all right, just make
sure everyone's okay over there,

- and then i'll
- o.m.g., kimmie. it looks amazing.

- you did such an awesome job.
- thanks.

i love how those things

- look like they're free-floating in
the air. - oh, yeah. it's suri-realism.

- it's this thing tom cruise's
daughter invented.
- oh.

oh, but what is that thing

on adriana's stand-in's neck?
ew. marc, check that out.

ugh. it is awful!

it's a giant piece of fruit.

what, did it fall off
of carmen miranda's hat?

- oh, or is the theme berries?
- oh.

tico berries, strawberries.

- what about blueberry?
- or a halle berry?

this was betty's idea,
wasn't it?

it was totally betty's idea, 'cause it
sucks.

do you really think it's that bad?

- the worst.
- beyond.

i don't know.

yeah, it blows.

could someone please lose
that necklace a-sap?

get it off her neck.
it's hurting my eyes.

okay, come on.
we don't have all day.

- we set her up, betty.
- you knock her down.

since you haven't
said anything,

i assume it's a no go
on hiring connor?

fine. i'll give him a call,

tell him we didn't think
he was the right fit.

i'll talk.

hi, daniel meade
for connor owens.

connor, daniel meade here.

i'm sitting
with wilhelmina slater.

so how'd you like to come run
the business side of meade?

you'll have the offer in writing
tomorrow morning.

yeah.

you were right.
we need him.

well, thank you, daniel,

for putting your ego aside

and respecting me on this.

this is albacore, okay?
i don't eat albacore.

- now go back to nobu and get
me what i ordered.
- hey, kimmie.

i was just wondering if you
needed me to do anything,

- you know, help out?
- no, i'm good.

gosh, i'm so nervous

you know, wilhelmina's
gonna be here any second.

- so? big deal.
- well, not for you,

because you're so good
at standing up for yourself,

but i'm not.

i mean, wilhelmina always has
such strong opinions,

- and i always back down.
- well, i'm sure she likes that.

no. no, she hates it.

she only respects people
who stand up to her.

really?

yeah. i mean,
she's gonna walk in here,

ask to change ten things,

but what she really wants
is for someone to say no.

i always say yes.
i just wish i wasn't so weak.

the only way to impress
wilhelmina is to be strong.

oh, well.

* if anybody wanted to know
* know

*how to party
and get on the floor *

- you made it happen, betty.
- ye, i did.

i'm proud of you.

you found a way
to make it work with kimmie.

oh, uh... yep, i did.

this business is tough.

it really makes you wonder,
what kind of person am i?

what am i willing to do
to get ahead?

it's not easy.

so how's everything going?

excuse me.

- kimmie, i have to talk to you right away.
- bad time. adriana's due any minute.

- no. look, i may have steered you
in the wrong direction.
- hey, betty.

- what are you doing? stop this.
- guys, i can't do it, okay?

- this isn't how i want to get ahead.
- oh!

- we have to distract her. does
anyone have a 6-foot hoagie?
- no. ooh.

all right, so i set you up.

wilhelmina hates it
when people disagree with her,

so whatever she says,
just do it.

what? just back down
and look weak? no, thanks.

unlike you, betty,
i intend to go places.

no, but that's
what she wants.

- she wants you to be weak. she wants
everybody to be weak. - you're so transparent.

no, i am being honest.
look, she really, really wants

that necklace in the shoot,
so just put it back.

- necklace!
- unbelievable. now you're trying to set me up

to put that ugly necklace
back on the model.

no, i was setting you up before.
i am not now. i swear.

look, betty, i know
how to judge character,

and right now you're oozing
petty, bitter, jealous ooze.

- it's all over you. i see right through
your stupid little plan. - kimmie.

so, uh, where is the necklace?

it's not going to be in the shoot.

- but i want it in the shoot.
- yeah, but it's hideous, so we're not using it.

now don't worry, babe.
i got it covered.

just sit back, relax,
have a doughnut.

- do you have some kind of death wish?
- my only wish right now is that you
scooty scoot scoot.

go on. find someplace shady.

get the damn necklace
and put it in the damn picture.

- here.
- it's not going to be in the picture.

- that's my decision, and that's final.
- well, you're fired.

- no, i'm not fired.
- oh, yes, you are fired.

but-but...

wait a minute.
they tricked me.

that's not fair. i have worked
too hard to get here.

this is my jumping off point.
what about my blog, my vlog,

- my perfume, my fashion line?
- security, come get her, please.

nuh-uh. this is not
how it's going down.

no kimmie, no shoot.
how about that?

- excuse me?
- have fun doing a tico
berry shoot with no tico berries.

no. no, kimmie! don't.

please don't.
that's all we have!

- this way, miss.
- what are you doing? get off of me.

- come on, now.
- screw all of you!
you haven't seen the last of me!

what?

adriana lima's arriving.

i'm here and ready to go.

where are my tico berries?

betty?

oh. too late for a haircut?

no. no, no, no. not at all.
come on in. have a seat.

i saw one of your flyers
over at voting,

- and i thought i'd, uh, pop on in.
- oh, great. how do you like it?

oh, just-just clean it up
a little bit.

i have this work thing later,

- and i want to look, you
know, sharp. - no problem.

i had no idea
this little salon

was right here
in the neighborhood.

- i love it. it's great for the community. - yeah,
we don't get a lot of foot traffic, you know.

it's not like this is a business district. you
have a hard time getting a business license?

nah. i didn't get one.
what's the big deal, right?

well, they could hit you
with a pretty big fine,

- shut you down. - yeah, but
who's gonnsay anything?

maybe no one, but, uh,

it's always better to be safe
with these things. trust me.

i'm a councilman
in this district.

so you're here to bust me?

uh, no. actually,
i just really needed a haircut.

- well, now you're not getting one. - i'm
just telling you the law. it's my job.

- get out. - but you only
finished half my hair.

all right, look.

why don't you take my card?

and i promise, i'll do
anything i can to help you.

but i strongly suggest
you shut down temporarily

- until you get that license.
- "archie rodriguez"?

that's me.

well, archie rodriguez,
i have six weeks of bookings,

and now you're telling me
that i can't run my own salon?

what can i say?

next time
you could vote me out.

betty, do something.
are there any more berries?

- they weren't very easy to find.
- well, adriana's not doing the shoot
without those berries.

if this falls apart,
it's a major fiasco.

- the press will kill us.
- hello? i'm waiting for my beautiful berries.

uh, they'll be here
in a minute, adriana.

we can't bluff for too long.

you know what they say
about models,

- but this one is a smart one.
- done. anybody have the sunday
"times" crossword?

we have a lot riding on this.

are you sure you don't want me
to take over?

no. uh, no. um...

i just remembered something.

adriana, hi.

hi.

i'm betty suarez.
i work at "mode."

- nice to meet you.
- uh, adriana,

did you get that fruit basket
we put in your room?

yes, i did.

it was wonderful.
thank you so much.

oh, good. uh...

see, 'cause i know i put
some tico berries in there,

and it would be great
if you didn't eat all of them,

because, you see, we don't have
any tico berries for the shoot.

i don't understand.

this whole shoot
was inspired by the berries.

i know, i know,
and we had them.

it's just, there was
an incident, and now we don't.

and it's not like it's exactly
easy to come by them.

i mean, this isn't
todos os santos bay.

- how do you know that?
- well, it's where your grandfather's
farm is, right?

- yes.
- i did the research.

kimmie told me
she did all the work.

yeah.

okay. i get it.

she's that type of girl.

well, it's not exactly like
my way's any better.

we don't have the berries.

so...
did you eat all of them?

i gotta say, you really
pulled it off, betty.

congratulations.

thank you, daniel.

and i owe you an apology
about kimmie.

she was a bad seed.
i didn't see it.

oh, well. you were right.

the thing that's important
is how i do my job.

oh, uh, speaking
of the business,

i got you something i thought
you might be able to use.

- what?
- hello, daniel.

connor.

- this is my assistant betty sua
- betty suarez. hi.

you're connor owens.

oh, my god. you're, like,
famous in the publishing world.

and you've got a good handshake.
firm, strong big hands-

- really big, like tennis racquets
with fingers. - ahem. betty.

- sorry.
- it's nice to meet you.

- so did that offer come in? - yes, it did,
and i'd like to talk about it with you.

betty, would you excuse us
for a second?

we did it.

so now it's real.

that was smooth.

and wilhelmina has no idea.

looks like somebody
had a good day.

yes. today was a good day.

- what you holding on to
so tight? - oh, nothing.

just something my boss gave me
for doing a photo shoot.

oh. so you got your chance.

uh, yeah, mainly because you
told me to go for it.

oh, well, i was just telling you
what i tell myself.

well, it worked,
so thank you.

sure.
so let me see what you got.

business cards.

they don't have a title yet,
but i'll get there.

and you can keep that one.
i have plenty.

that's really cool, betty.

thanks.

*... last night

* i had a reason to stay
in the back of my head *

* still,
i have to say good-bye *

* here in this bed

* free

* you are free

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