Udan Patolas (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - Karma is a B! - full transcript

Wow, Leher!

It feels
as if I'm in a seven-star hotel.

I swear, Leher!
You've done well dear.

- Good catch!
- Thank you.

And very like classy
and nicely done, Leher.

Yes. And your boyfriend's house
is bigger than Akaash jiju's.

Yeah... A seven-bedroom house
in a city like Mumbai!

- Really good, right?
- Yeah. - Seven!

Oh, my God! Are there houses
with seven bedrooms?

There aren't, but Mikhail is very fancy...
..big house, luxury cars...

...and a huge staff.
You know, business tycoon!



Wow! Very lucky...
Very rich life!

- How did you find Mikhail?
- Babes, it wasn't that easy.

Ten flights and thirty-five hours,
that's what it took for him to notice me.

And then, he asked me out.

'If you want to woo
a wealthy person...'

...then join an International Airlines...

- ...as an air hostess.
- Hmm...

Nice, Leher, but honestly...
I mean, air hostess and all...

...is not our scene, you know.

We are in finance.

Even I have finance.
Finance for laser.

Finance for Botox... 14 servants,
four drivers, three gardeners.

It took me nine months
to memorise all their names.

Nine months!
You've been dating him for nine months?



Certainly!
It's amazing, isn't it?

These days, dating a person
for nine months...

...means you're sure to get married.

I've even decided on the venue.
Mykonos, Greece.

Wow!
The water is so blue there!

- What are you saying?
- He has proposed to you?

- Show me your ring.. How many solitaires
does it have? - No...

He hasn't gone down on his knees yet.
But he will.

He loves me a lot.

Once I make up my mind,
I don't give up.

And by the way, Punni,
it's five carats, I think.

Wow!
He really loves you a lot, doesn't he?

Monthly pocket money,
holidays, imported cars...

But all that is fine.
Who wants all that?

What really matters..
With him, I don't have to pretend.

'I don't have to pretend
in front of him.'

Whoever I am, whatever I do..
he soaks it all in.

He tolerates it all.

- Like a sponge!
- Sponge?

- What do you mean?
- Even if I flirt with a boy...

...he doesn't overreact
like other boys.

Okay!
Don't you think that's a bit strange?

Lovely, I felt the same at first. "What kind
of a boy is this? He just doesn't react."

But in time I realised
that this is the real man.

Even if I spill boiling water
on him, he won't react.

- He is so cool! - Oh, my God!
Mikail jiju tolerates so much!

And in bed, he's like a magician.

He shows such magic,
that I start crying.

"Drops trickling down..."

But, why are you crying now Leher?

Punni, these are tears of joy.

You don't know
how happy he makes me in bed.

He makes me so happy
that my tears don't stop.

Then, he drinks them.

- He drinks your tears?
- Yes.

Haven't I found an amazing husband,
girls?

- Boyfriend!
- I didn't even need to change my name.

I am still who I was.
And he finds me sizzling hot!

We are birds of a feather.

It is such a great feeling,
to sit and chat together, isn't it?

- Exactly.
- And, babes, don't just disappear now.

- It's such a huge house,
let's use it, right? - Yeah.

- And we have to meet your sponge too, right?
- Yes...

Why don't you guys
join us tonight?

Where? What time?
Will Mikhail's friends come?

Of course! We have a big circle.
All rich and famous.

But first, meet my sponge.

- I'll message you the details,
alright?

- We'll have fun. I'm super excited.
- Okay. - Yay.

Okay, bye!
See you soon.

- Bye! - See you.
- Bye, Leher.

- And enjoy the Parathas. Bye.
- Thank you.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.

Yes, but I had asked you
to push my meeting...

...by half an hour, didn't I?

- You seem to have forgotten.
- 'I'm so sorry, sir.'

'I don't know.
Maybe, I didn't hear you.'

Okay, let me tell you again.
I'll repeat myself.

Please push my meeting
with Mikhail by half an hour, okay?

- 'Yeah, sir, sure.'
- All right.

- Uff!
- What happened?

These newbies!
Stupid Monica's on holiday.

Of course, she must take a holiday
at the peak of our business.

- So, who was that?
- Monica has left a substitute.

It's her first day...

...and the f**kups
have already started.

I'm sure it's gonna be a disaster.

Okay, tell me,
did the meeting get fixed?

- Yup! With Mikhail Pinto.
- Hmm... Interesting!

What!
What am I missing?

Nothing. His girlfriend and I
were in the same class.

- Oh, really?
- Hmm...

But don't be so happy.
We weren't friends.

In fact, we used to have
solid competition.

- About what?
- Just nothing.

- Oh, come on, tell me.
- Just some kiddy stuff.

Who's prettier, who's sexier,
who's more popular.

Leher Bajwa... Competition?
Are you kidding me?

You are way more beautiful
than her.

I love it when you talk like that.

And I love you.

- Okay, here we are.
Bye, love. - Bye.

- And you have a good meeting,
okay? - Yes.

- And listen. Don't be too hard
on that new girl. - Oh, come on!

Bye!

'Punni,
you are absolutely wrong.'

People who look the happiest...

...are the saddest ones.

- You're very innocent, dear.
- Wrong.

You look sad, and you really
are a sad person, Lovely.

We've been single for so long now.

I mean we must be doing something wrong.

I think we should all
try to do the opposite.

Enough with your classy.

- Let's hook a dumb stupid boy.
- Yes.

On whom we can spill
boiling water.

That was a metaphor. She doesn't really
go spilling boiling water on people.

- Whose 'fur'?
- Metaphor.

But listen, these wimpy boys...

...you know, the girls always
land up cheating on them.

- You watch.
- Speak for yourself, okay?

I would never cheat on such a guy.

I'll treat him with cheese toast
on a rainy day.

- So sweet!
- Isn't it?

I'll nurse him when has fever.

Even I want 14 servants.

- Noorpreet is right, Lovely.
- Yes...

You are always going on...

...about the light
at the end of the tunnel.

I don't see any light.

Hey!
I see the light!

Look at this.

'Kitty missing.
Finder will find cash...'

Rs. 1 lakh!

Seriously, guys!
Are we going to hunt cats now?

Do you have a better plan
in life? Do you?

Instead of sitting single at home,
it's better...

...we can earn some extra money, right?

- F**k we have to find this kitty!
- F**k we will find this kitty!

- Okay...
- Amrinder is waiting for us.

- Shall we go?
- I'm not coming.

I mean, I'm not coming, Lovely.

Amrinder and Leher...

- ...have anyhow found their sponges.
- 'Hmm.'

- At least, let us to find this kitty.
- Hmm.

- All the best. - Hmm...
- Thank you.

- Okay, listen. Take this with you.
- Hmm?

- Pussy...
- Pussy...

- Pussy...
- Pussy...

F**k, man!
Why isn't this working?

'Yes, sir?'

'Sir, Mr. Mikhail will be here
in 20 minutes.'

I know that, Monica.
What I need right now...

'Sir, it's me, your new secretary.
Laxmi.'

Oh, yeah!
Listen, I'd pushed the meeting...

...because I wanted to see
Mikhail's presentation.

But my laptop
is not connecting to the TV.

Can you send Raj
from the tech-team?

- 'Sure, sir.'
- Thank you.

- May I come in, sir?
- Come in.

Good morning, sir.
It's me, Laxmi.

Sir, Raj is not available
at the moment.

Please, may I have a look?

- Sir, it's done.
- Oh, good work!

- Thanks.
- Anything else, sir?

Just let me know
when Mikhail is here. Yeah?

- Sure, sir.
- Thank you...

She is a weirdo.
Seriously!

She was always a 'J' kind.
Come on.

Like I'm sure, she was trying
to show off in front of you...

...so that it reaches me.

I'm not really sure of that,
Amrinder...

'...because
she looked quite happy.'

Just exactly the same thing what
she wanted me to hear.

Lovely, I'm so angry with you. Honestly.

What have I done, dude?

When you know that
I don't like her at all...

...then why are you praising her
in front of me?

And, in the entire city, did you find
no one else to hang out with?

You had to hang out
with that hilly-billy?

Keep laughing.
Why are you controlling now?

I'm not laughing.

Okay, listen...
Sorry, okay?

I'm really sorry!
Uff!

But I can't believe it,
even after all these years...

...she still has this effect
on you, Amrinder! Really?

- Come on!
- Let it be.

- Let's change the topic, okay?
- Now that you've brought up this topic...

...why change it?

- Tell me, what else this...
- Let it be.

- ...air hostess was saying?
- Leave it.

Let's talk about something else...
Come on.

Lovely, will you start?

Okay.
This is the highlight, okay?

She was saying "Mikhail
is so good in bed."

"He's so good in bed that..."

- ...in bed, she has tears flowing down.
- What!

That's just wrong.

Maybe, that's how
she gets an orgasm.

Oh, no! One second.
It's not over right now.

- Mikhail... drinks her tears.
- Speak up.

Yuck!

You know,
whenever I got confused...

...'Compass' used to point it out.

How come?
I mean, how?

For example...

If I got confused
among four boys...

...then I would write their names
on four stickers.

And stick it on four bowls of milk.

And then, the bowl from which
Compass would drink milk...

...that's the boy I would select.

- A-And it worked?
- Of course.

Look around you.

It was Compass
who picked Preetam.

It's been three months now.

That's great!
She is a matrimonial agent.

If I find Compass,
even I'll get a chit picked.

What options do you have
to pick from?

By the way, what an idea!

An upgrade from parrots...
Indian Cat Matrimony...

Hey!
Don't you dare call her a cat!

'Compass', okay?

'Compass'.

S-Sorry.

You know?
People say...

...that girls who keep black cats
are crazy.

- No...
- Not at all...

'But she was
always good luck for me.'

Do anything, but please find Compass.

I've even increased the prize amount now.

It's Rs. 3 lakh now.

What...
Three lakhs!

S-So sorry!

Wow!
I am so impressed, Mikhail.

Good job, man!
I'm sold on the idea.

But before the project,
we must research on things...

...like demand and supply,
retail, running costs.

Other than that, you're on, man.

I'm glad because I didn't want
to settle...

...for anything lesser than you.

All right then, let's start
work from tomorrow.

You can come to my office in Worli
with your team.

But before that,
let me take you out.

- Let's just celebrate.
- Yeah... We must celebrate.

I know this fantastic club
where I have a reserved table.

And I want you to meet
my girlfriend, Leher.

In fact, even I want you
to meet Amrit.

So, see you tonight then.

See you.

Really Lovely,
had you been there...

...you would've realised
how crazy she is.

Someone who is ready to give
Rs. 3 lakh for a finding a black cat...

...would definitely be crazy.

Anyways, I'm sure poor Compass
would be dead by now.

I mean... You know, these cats...
They don't last for too long, you know.

Oh, they're here.

Hey, hi!
Come.

- How are you?
- Here's another crazy one!

Oh, my God!
You're also here.

Damn!
Two hugs in two seconds!

I'll catch you later.

Look, how Mikhail
is soaking it all in.

Just like a sponge.

- Let's go.
- Hi... - Hi.

- Hello!
- Hi, Leher.

Hello, baby.

- Girls, this is Mikhail.
- Hi, Mikhail...

Baby, these are my best friends.

We know each other...

...since Punjab.

- Shall we have shots?
- Sure...

My baby has signed a deal with Akaash,
my bestie's fiancé.

- Boyfriend.
- Yeah, boyfriend.

But my boyfriend is the cutest.

I just love him.
Isn't he cute?

- Very cute! - Thank you.
Let's go. - Sure.

- Come on, let's go...
- Come on.

I don't want to go.
Seriously, no.

Stop it, Amrit.
What's the big deal?

In the future, there might be many instances,
when I'll be working with guys...

...whose wives, girlfriends,
etcetera...

...you don't like.

What will I do then?
Quit working?

Forget it, Akaash.
You just want to see me cry...

...and nothing else.

- And you don't even drink my tears.
- What?

What does that even mean?

You won't understand.
Just shut up!

Oh, come on!
I don't want to go...

...if you are in such mood.
I mean, look at you.

In a minute, everyone will know
that you're upset.

Amrit, you need to...
Like, adjust.

- Learn to soak it in.
- Soak it in?

Bloody hell, Akaash.
I'm the only sponge around.

So, don't you dare, okay!
Just shut up!

Sponge! What sponge?
What tears?

What are you on, today?
Are you on something?

Just zip up your mouth.
This is not happening.

- Just shut up!
- Oh!

Have you spotted
this black cat in your colony?

- Yes! Show it to her..
- Colony?

Gayatri is too much!

By the way,
she fooled you girls too.

But, you are fools anyway.

There is no cat.

Look at this, Mikhail.
She is slightly 'off'.

She has a habit
of cooking up stories.

Do you know what she did?

She goes to our common friend
and says...

...that she is sleeping
with Mikhail.

'Can you imagine?
With Mikhail! Never!'

He is mine.

See, now we've reached.
Now, just forget about it. Come on.

- Hey! Amrit.
- Hi! - Hi!

- Amrit. Come.
- How are you, man?

- Hi!
- Good to see you.

Oh, my God!
Look at you, babe.

- Looking hot! - Thank you.
But look at yourself. So good!

Don't you think
Amrinder is being too spongy?

Akaash, that's Leher.
Leher, that's Akaash.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
Mikhail, meet Amrit. - Hi.

Amrit, that's Mikhail.

- Nice, babes.
He's handsome also, girl. - Yeah.

Let me see...
Hot!

Even I've heard a lot about you
from Amrit.

- I hope, only good things.
- 'Sure.'

She loves me.

- Of course, babes.
- By the way, she loves you, as well.

Because she keeps the tabs on you,
the gossip column.

Uhh.. Shots?
Let's go for shots.

'Yeah, sure.'

- Guys, shots are here.
- Hi!

- What's up?
- Hi. - Hi, Akaash.

- Hi.
- Thank you.

- Come on, guys.
- Nice.

Here you go.

- To old friends, and new partnership.
- Cheers...

- Hmm...
- Next round is on me.

- Hello!
- Hi, my baby! How are you?

Is this cougri dating all the babies?

It's not a cougri,
it's a cougar.

But she's female, right?

Long-time, baby!

You know, I don't usually pity boys...

- ...but I really pity Mikhail.
- 'I know.'

I'm really telling you,
she has an invisible leash on his neck.

- Poor guy. Such a doormat!
- Isn't he?

Mikhail, Steve, my ex-boyfriend.
Remember?

- How are you, Brother?
- Not so good...

- ...since you took my girl away.
- Aww...

- I miss you, Leher.
- 'I miss you too, baby.'

- Ouch!
- What happened, babe? - Nothing.

- Sure?
- Yeah...

- Babe, I'm going to play pool.
Join me? - Sure.

'I'll be there. Yeah.'
- 'See you.'

Mikhail, you are my best-est
best boyfriend...

'I love you so much.'

- Isn't she amazing?
- Yeah. - 'Yeah.'

- Go, Leher!
- She has him on her fingertips!

How does it not affect him?

I'm sure he takes Viagra.

- That's how he lasts so long.
- Nice!

- She has really got him
by the balls, guys. - Isn't it?

Wait and watch...

...he will fall flat
on his face someday.

She is definitely going
to cheat on him.

Who is she?
And why is she texting you this?

Uh... What?

Oh, this is Laxmi,
my new secretary.

I thought you didn't like her.

Yes, but I had not met her then.

So, you like her
now that you've met her?

When did I say that?

Then why is she messaging you...

...'when to take your medicines.'

This is my job as a girlfriend,
right, to remind you that?

- But you don't do it, love.
- What do you mean?

I mean, I don't want you
to do it.

I don't want her to do it.

She is a bit enthusiastic.
Amrit!

- Now I got it.
- What?

- Where are you going?
- Maybe, I should just go...

...and try my hand
at some pool.

Actually, I don't mind trying,
if you don't mind.

- I don't mind.
- Sure.

- I don't know how to hold it.
- 'I'm here.'

'I'll teach you. Please.'

Put your hand here.

It's on...

Another sponge is taking
the soak test here.

Good job.

Beautiful!

What a genius trick!
I can't believe...

...that I've never tried
this trick before.

Send a 'thank you' message
to your 'bestie'.

By the way,
did Akaash really get jealous?

Jealous? He was stuck to me
like a magnet.

So insecure.

Came back on track
with a snap.

He was not insecure, he was very angry.

But anyway, you know what...
Whatever you say...

...finally, you did use Leher's trick
to keep your man in your pocket.

Excuse me!
That's the world's oldest trick...

...to get your man
come running back to you.

And Leher doesn't have a
copyright on this, okay?

Amrinder, what about the secretary?

Who secretary?

You all
owe me Rs. 1,350 each...

for last night.

- Punni!
- We didn't find the cat either.

Oh yes! I was angrier with Leher.
Did you see how she laughed at us!

"You are anyway fools."
Monkey!

It would be fun if someone
makes a fool out of her.

- Oh... my... God!
- What?

- Oh, my God... Guys!
- What?

Yes, God is yours, now speak up?

Punni, I can see light
at the end of your tunnel.

You must be seeing a tube light, Lovely.

Guys!

Oh, my God!
That's Compass, isn't it?

- Yes!
- Damn it!

Punni, run...
Run...

- Thank God!
- Hurry up...

Catch it...
Come on...

Catch it?

Wow!
You're alive!

A pussy worth three lakhs!

- Will she bite?
- No...

Finally, they found the pussy
worth Rs. three lakh.

Be careful...
She's worth Rs. three lakh.

A pussy worth three lakhs!

Pussy... Hey!
Pussy... Yay!

'In 200 metres, take the curve...'

Oh shut up!

We now have Compass to tell us the way.

- Yeah, baby! - Compass, come on,
tell us the way to your mom's house.

Tell us...

- Careful.
- Yes.

It's been 10 minutes, Punni.

We've rung the bell
so many times.

She isn't opening the door.

She isn't even answering the call.
What do we do now?

It's not easy to get
so much money, Noorpreet.

- Let's wait for a while.
- But why isn't she opening the door?

- What if she isn't at home?
- It's alright.

She might be taking a bath.
It takes some time, right?

First, you have to put soap
on your body...

...then pour water over yourself.

And then wipe with a towel.

'Oh!'
- What's that sound?

- 'You're so...'
- Let's go and have a look.

What are you doing, Noorpreet?

When houses are made of glass...

..they must surely
be peeped into. Silly!

- Come on... Damn!
- Noorpreet!

What happened?
Let me also see.

- We're screwed!
- Let's go.

We really are screwed!

Someone pour some acid in my eyes!

Do you think we should tell Leher?

No, girl.

She'll feel bad.

Shall we go?

What about the money?

Do we really want to take money
from such a psycho?

After all, Leher is our friend.

To hell with three lakhs.

- I agree.
- Right.

- Forget it.
- Yes.

Don't worry, pussy dear.
I'll take care of you.

We will start
the Indian Cat Matrimony.

- Do you know where we can buy cat food?
- We will find out.

- What do cats eat?
- Oh, God! One minute.

- Isn't that Leher?
- It is.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi. Where are you guys going?

We?
We were just chilling.

We are heading home.

- I'll drop you guys.
- No. We'll go.

How will you go?
I'm sure you don't have a car.

You won't even be able to afford a taxi.

Come on, in my Merc.

No really. We will go, Leher.

Bye. Go on.

- Okay.
- Sat Sri Akal.

My grandmother used to say,
just like trees...

...the strength of relationships
lies in their roots.

What now?

To hell with that b***h!

- Let's get our three lakhs.
- Let's go.

Don't ever let old relationships
turn weak.

They are our identity.

Because when the roots are weak,
the tree will obviously fall.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.