Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place (1998–2001): Season 4, Episode 14 - The Aftermath - full transcript

Pete: I'M PETE DONVILLE.

THIS IS MY LIFE. GET USED TO IT.

HER NAME IS SUSAN.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL
AND SOPHISTICATED,

AND MOST OF ALL, SHE'S INTO ME.

BUT MY BOSS CAPTAIN
SHAW IS INTO HER, TOO,

WHICH WOULDN'T BE SO BAD

IF IT WEREN'T FOR
THIS LITTLE THING...

SUSAN IS MY ROOMMATE'S MOM.

WHEN BERG FOUND OUT, HE FLEW
INTO A RAGE AND STORMED OFF,

BUT HE'LL BE BACK,
AND SOON I'LL BE DEAD.



OR JUST SCOLDED, YOU KNOW,

BUT WHO WANTS THAT
ON THEIR DAY OFF?

I THINK I'LL TAKE A SHOWER.

OH, HEY, CAPTAIN,

I WAS JUST COMING TO DO THAT.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, DONVILLE.

GRUNT WORK HELPS ME
KEEP MY MIND OFF OF...

A CERTAIN SOMEONE.

SUSAN.

MRS. BERGEN. MRS. SUSAN BERGEN.

I KNOW IT WAS JUST ONE DATE,

BUT WE GREW SO CLOSE.

I EVEN SHOWED HER
MY APPENDIX SCAR.

WOW, WOW.



I HADN'T REALIZED IT
HAD GONE THAT FAR.

BUT, LISTEN, SIR,
I'M HERE FOR YOU.

THANKS, DONVILLE.

I'M NOT ONE FOR NANCY
TALK, BUT IT HELPS.

I MEAN, YOU WAKE UP
IN THE MORNING AND...

SHE'S THE FIRST
THING ON YOUR MIND.

YOU TRY TO EAT BREAKFAST...

BUT YOU CAN'T EAT ANYTHING.

ALL YOU CAN REMEMBER
IS THE WAY SHE SMELLED...

AND WHAT IT WAS
LIKE TO KISS HER.

I NEVER KISSED HER.

NO, NO, BUT... BUT
SHE SAW YOUR SCAR,

AND THAT'S... THAT'S,
I THINK, SECOND BASE.

LISTEN, WHY DON'T...
WHY DON'T I GO OUT

AND GET US SOME
COMFORT FOOD, ALL RIGHT?

HOW ABOUT MEATBALL SUBS?

I'D RATHER HAVE PUDDING.

ALL RIGHT. YOU GOT IT.

WHAT A GOOD KID.

HI. EXCUSE ME.

I WAS LOOKING FOR PETE DONVILLE.

OH, YOU JUST... YOU
JUST MISSED HIM.

OH.

ARE YOU HIS GIRLFRIEND?

OH, NO.

WELL, IF I WAS 20
YEARS OLDER, MAYBE.

I'M CAPTAIN SHAW.

HI. CAN I HELP YOU?

YES, I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM

THESE THINGS FROM
HOME... JUST SOME CLOTHES,

A TOOTHBRUSH, HIS
AQUAMAN FLIP-FLOPS...

IS HE MOVING IN?

OH, NO, NO, NO.

HE JUST GOT IN A BIT OF A
FIGHT WITH HIS ROOMMATE.

BORROWED SOMETHING
WITHOUT ASKING?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO. PETE'S
VERY CONSCIENTIOUS.

IT'S JUST THIS LITTLE THING

WHERE HE SLEPT WITH
HIS ROOMMATE'S MOM.

HE SLEPT WITH MRS. BERGEN?

OH, YEAH.

SHE HAD TO LEAVE
TOWN. IT'S A WHOLE TO-DO.

SO YOU'LL GIVE THIS TO HIM?

OH, I'LL GIVE IT TO HIM.

WOW. IT IS SO NICE THAT PETE
FINALLY HAS A NICE CAPTAIN.

YOU KNOW, THE LAST ONE SOUNDED

LIKE HE REALLY HAD
A STICK UP HIS BUTT.

SEE, DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER NOW?

NO.

OH, FUNNY. MAYBE IT
ONLY WORKS ON CATS.

MY BEST FRIEND
SLEPT WITH MY MOM.

I'M NOT GOING TO GET OVER
IT BY SCRATCHING ON A POST

OR CHASING A
FEATHER ON A STRING.

I WAS AFRAID YOU WOULD SAY THAT,

SO I BAKED YOU

A "SORRY PETE SLEPT
WITH YOUR MOM" MUFFIN.

NO, THANK YOU.

COME ON, BERG. NOW,
OKAY, DON'T GET MAD,

BUT I THINK THEY
MADE A NICE COUPLE.

HOW... HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?

HOW COULD YOU SAY IT?

HOW COULD YOU
THINK IT, THEN SAY IT?

OKAY, YES, THEY
MAKE A CRAZY COUPLE,

BUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE
MAKES A CRAZY COUPLE?

- KNOCK, KNOCK.
- WHO'S THERE?

IT'S US!

HEY, ALL RIGHT, LOOK,

IRENE, SHE'S MY MOM, OKAY?

YOU KNOW, THE WOMAN WHO
HELD ME WHEN I WAS LITTLE?

WHO WIPED MY NOSE
WHEN I WAS SICK?

NEVER MISSED A SOCCER GAME?

THEN THERE'S PETE,

WHO I WATCHED PORN
WITH LAST FRIDAY.

NOW PICTURE THE TWO
OF THEM TOGETHER.

EW! OH!

YOU POOR BABY.

YEAH, NOT NOW, IRENE.

I FIND ALL WOMEN REPULSIVE.

Sharon: HEY, ASH.

HEY.

NOTICE ANYTHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?

SHARON, I DON'T FIND THESE GAMES

QUITE AS CHALLENGING
AS JOHNNY DOES.

SO WHAT'S UP?

OKAY, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU

FOR HELPING ME
OUT WITH MY RESUMéS

BECAUSE I WAS JUST OFFERED A JOB

AS SALES REP FOR
BENNETT PHARMACEUTICALS!

CONGRATULATIONS!

YEAH, I GET TOTAL BENEFITS,

A 401k, AND FREE HORMONE
REPLACEMENT WHEN I RETIRE.

I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.

YEAH!

I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.

IF I WANTED TO SELL DRUGS,

I WOULD HAVE STAYED
WITH MY FIRST BOYFRIEND.

DON'T TAKE THE JOB.

NO, I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

JOHNNY'S PRESSURING
ME TO GO TO WORK.

I JUST... I DON'T
KNOW. I FEEL SO LOST.

OH, SHAR, COME ON.

YOU JUST HAVEN'T FIGURED
OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO YET.

COME ON... THINK BACK.

ISN'T THERE SOMETHING
YOU'VE ALWAYS DREAMED ABOUT?

WELL, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE A V.J. FOR MTV.

OKAY.

ANY OTHER DREAMS?
AND THIS TIME, WAKE UP.

OKAY, THERE IS ONE,

BUT PLEASE PROMISE
NOT TO JUDGE ME.

AW, SO IT'S SOMETHING STUPID.

NO. OKAY.

I'M THINKING ABOUT
GOING TO LAW SCHOOL.

SO DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT MUSIC VIDEOS?

YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

LAW SCHOOL, IT TAKES
SO MUCH TIME AND MONEY,

IT'S JUST... IT'S JUST
A STUPID DREAM.

NO. COME ON, SHARON,

THERE ARE NO STUPID DREAMS.

LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT THE TIME,

AND NOW YOU'VE GOT THE MONEY,

AND I SAY IF BEING A LAWYER
IS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT,

THEN YOU SHOULD GO FOR IT.

REALLY? YEAH.

WHO ARGUES MORE THAN
ANYONE ELSE IN THIS BUILDING?

YOU DO.

YOU SEE? YOU'RE GOING
TO MAKE A GREAT LAWYER.

I'M HATING YOU ALREADY.

WELL, WHO CARES? I'M
GOING TO BE A LAWYER.

I CAN GET BETTER
FRIENDS. SEE YA.

OKAY, EVERYBODY,
HIDE YOUR MOTHERS.

HEY, SHARON, THANKS
FOR THE CARE PACKAGE.

DID YOU KNOW CAPTAIN
SHAW WAS IN LOVE WITH SUSAN?

NO.

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WOULDN'T WORRY, PETE.

I DON'T THINK HE'S GOING TO BE
TOO MUCH COMPETITION FOR YOU.

SO, HOW'S YOUR OLD LADY?

I'M SORRY. I MEANT BERG'S MOM.

THERE'S REALLY NO GOOD
WAY OF SAYING IT, IS THERE?

NO.

BUT, ASHLEY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING OUT HERE, ANYWAY?

SHOULDN'T YOU BE
ROUNDING UP THE DALMATIANS?

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
WELL, SERIOUSLY,

SO HAVE YOU TALKED WITH SUSAN?

I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER SINCE I
DROPPED HER OFF AT THE TRAIN.

I'M GOING TO GIVE HER A CALL

AS SOON AS I FIGURE OUT
WHAT I'M GOING TO SAY.

OH, THANK YOU. THAT REMINDS ME.

I'VE GOT TO CALL MY MOTHER.

OH, PETER DONVILLE.

YOU ARE NOT THE MAN
I THOUGHT YOU WERE.

WELL, THAT CAN HAPPEN, IRENE.

REMEMBER WHEN YOU
THOUGHT THE GARBAGE MAN

WAS BURT BACHARACH?

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO BERG?

IF ANYONE, I THOUGHT
YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND.

WELL, YOU THOUGHT WRONG, BATMAN.

THE BOY WONDER'S GOT
HIS CAPE ALL IN A BUNCH.

IRENE, CAN WE TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER?

COMMISSIONER GORDON
JUST SENT UP THE BAT SIGNAL.

SURE, FINE, LEAVE ME HERE
TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS.

DO YOU THINK I WANTED THIS?

HUH? YOU KNOW, Y-YOU
WAKE UP ONE MORNING

AND... AND YOU THINK YOU'RE
NEVER GOING TO FIND SOMEONE.

AND THEN YOU TURN
AROUND AND THERE'S SUSAN,

AND THERE'S THIS SPARK,

AND ALL THIS WONDERFUL
STUFF STARTS TO HAPPEN, AND...

WAIT. DO YOU LOVE HER?

I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE. I DON'T KNOW.

OH, PETE DONVILLE,

YOU'RE NOT JUST SOME GUY
HOPPING HIS ROOMMATE'S MOM.

YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HER.

YEAH, I DO, IRENE,

BUT IT'S OVER NOW,
AND I'M NEVER GOING

TO FIND OUT WHAT
MIGHT HAVE BEEN.

NO! I, FOR ONE, CANNOT SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE WONDERING.

WHAT ABOUT BERG?

HE'S GOT A MUFFIN THE
SIZE OF A BASKETBALL.

HI.

HEY, BABY.

HEY, UH, SWEETIE,

I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT OUR SAVINGS.

OH, I WISH YOU'D
STOP DOING THAT.

AND I HAVE FIGURED OUT A WAY

TO TURN OUR
$90,000 INTO MILLIONS.

I'M LISTENING.

OKAY.

I'M GOING TO LAW SCHOOL.

WHAT'S YOUR PLAN...

YOU'RE GOING TO SLIP DOWN
THE STEPS AND SUE THEM?

NO, SWEETIE, I'M SERIOUS.
I WANT MY LAW DEGREE.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE V.J. THING?

SWEETIE, I'VE WANTED TO
BE A LAWYER FOR A LONG TIME,

BUT I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE IT

UNTIL I WAS TALKING
WITH ASHLEY TODAY.

OH, WELL, THANKS A LOT, ASHLEY.

HEY, WHEN SHE CAME TO
ME, SHE WAS A DRUG DEALER.

YEAH, WHAT ABOUT THAT JOB OFFER?

I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

I WOULD BE A GOOD LAWYER.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LIKE.

I-I'M RELENTLESS, I'M A FIGHTER,

I WIN EVERY ARGUMENT...

YES. I'VE SEEN THAT.
IT'S NOT ATTRACTIVE.

JOHNNY, RIGHT NOW I HAVE
THE TIME AND THE MONEY.

WHOA! WHO-O-OA,
WHOA, HOLD ON THERE.

YOU MEAN WE HAVE THE MONEY.

ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE THE MONEY,

AND IT'S NOT DOING ANYTHING

JUST SITTING THERE
COLLECTING INTEREST.

BUT WE HAVE A RULE, REMEMBER?

WE HAVE TO AGREE BEFORE
EVERY MAJOR PURCHASE.

OH, RIGHT, LIKE THE HOUSE
YOU BOUGHT WITHOUT HER.

THAT'S WHY SHE MADE THE RULE!

OKAY.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO
YELL AT ME, I'M LEAVING.

OH, YOU MEAN I HAD THAT
POWER ALL ALONG? GO!

JOHNNY, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
BEING LIKE THIS OVER MONEY.

SWEETIE, THREE
YEARS OF LAW SCHOOL

WILL TAKE UP OUR ENTIRE SAVINGS.

BUT I PROMISE YOU
I WILL MAKE IT BACK.

THIS IS FOR MY CAREER.

YOUR CAREER?

SWEETIE, YOU JUST THOUGHT
OF THIS THIS MORNING.

YOU'VE PROBABLY BEEN
LOOKING FOR A REASON

TO BUY A NEW OUTFIT
AND A BRIEFCASE.

LOOK, I HAVE WANTED THAT
BRIEFCASE FOR A LONG TIME.

JOHNNY, HALF THAT MONEY IS MINE,

AND I WOULD LIKE TO USE
IT TO GO TO LAW SCHOOL.

THEN FINE. USE IT.

OKAY, SAY IT AGAIN BUT MEAN IT.

SWEETIE, IT IS IMPORTANT TO ME

THAT YOU'RE OKAY
WITH THIS DECISION.

I-I CAN'T JUST BE HAPPY

BECAUSE YOU ASKED
ME TO BE HAPPY.

I MEAN, WHAT IF THIS
IS JUST ANOTHER WAY

FOR YOU TO AVOID RESPONSIBILITY,

ANOTHER EXCUSE SO THAT
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK

FOR A FEW MORE YEARS?

JOHNNY, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?

BECAUSE SHE HASN'T WORKED
A DAY SINCE I MARRIED HER!

UH... I JUST RAN INTO PETE.

YOU DID?

I HAD A TALK WITH HIM.

HE'S IN YOUR APARTMENT
PACKING RIGHT NOW.

GREAT! HE'S MOVING OUT?

I TOLD HIM TO GO FOR IT!

YOU SENT PETE BACK
TO BE WITH MY MOTHER?

POOR DEAR. ALL HE NEEDED
WAS A LITTLE SUPPORT.

DID YOU MAKE HIM A MUFFIN?

BERG, IF YOU HAD SEEN
HOW HIS FACE LIT UP,

YOU WOULD HAVE
DONE THE SAME THING.

WELL, I WASN'T THERE, BUT, UH...

JUST GOING BY HOW I FEEL,

I'M PRETTY SURE I WOULDN'T HAVE.

AND YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE, EITHER.

WHY?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
I HAVE TO STAND HERE

AND EXPLAIN THIS TO YOU.

LOOK, IRENE, I AM YOUR
BOYFRIEND, CORRECT?

CORRECT. BY THE WAY, I LOVE IT.

THANK YOU.

AND YOU ARE MY GIRLFRIEND.

WITH BELLS ON.

AND AS BOYFRIEND AND
GIRLFRIEND, WE ARE A TEAM.

YOU'RE ON THE SAME SIDE.

BECAUSE YOU'RE MAD AT
PETE, I SHOULD BE MAD AT PETE.

OKAY, TEAM HUG! OKAY!

ALL RIGHT, HEY...
LET'S HIT THE SHOWERS.

OKAY.

HEY, BUT I'M STILL GLAD I TOLD
PETE TO SEE YOUR MOTHER.

OH.

I SEE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING TO GO PLAY
FOR THE OTHER TEAM.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

HELLO, PETE.

HEY, BERG.

LONG TIME, NO SEE.

HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

I GUESS YOU FIND ALL
THE BERGENS ATTRACTIVE.

YOU, UH, YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, I'M
NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU.

I'VE BEEN TRANSFERRED TO ITALY.

I SEE.

WELL, LET ME...

LET ME ACCUSTOM YOU TO
SOME OF THE HAND GESTURES.

I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE
GOING, ALL RIGHT?

I WANT YOU TO STOP
SEEING MY MOTHER. IT'S OVER.

LOOK, BERG, I FEEL
TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS.

I REALLY DO. BUT I CAN'T JUST
LEAVE THINGS UNRESOLVED

AND SUSAN FEELS THE SAME WAY.

YOU TALKED TO HER?

YEAH, JUST NOW. IT'S
RUDE TO JUST DROP BY.

IF THERE'S ONE THING
MY MOM TAUGHT ME...

OKAY.

NEV-NEV-NEVER MIND.

THE POINT IS, IS THERE'S...

THERE'S JUST A LOT OF THINGS
THAT WE NEED TO SORT OUT.

YOU NEED TO SORT THINGS OUT.

I UNDERSTAND.

THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO
EXCEPT HELP YOU WITH YOUR BAG.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D
LIKE TO TAKE TO ALBANY?

MY GRANDMOTHER?

LOOK, THIS DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE A BAD THING.

WHAT IF IT WORKS OUT
WITH ME AND SUSAN?

OH, EXCELLENT.

WELL, THEN YOU CAN
BE MY NEW STEPDAD.

YEAH, I'LL CALL YOU PAPA AND
YOU CAN CALL ME HALF-PINT.

WE ALL GO AND GET
BANANA SPLITS TOGETHER,

LIKE ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY.
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?

BERG, I UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU'RE ANGRY.

I-I DO.

BUT LOOK, CAN'T YOU JUST
UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL?

IF YOU LEAVE, DON'T COME BACK.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

IF YOU LEAVE, DON'T COME BACK!

OH, GOOD. I BELIEVE
THESE ARE YOUR PULL-UPS.

CONGRATULATIONS, SHARON.

YOUR PROJECT TO REANIMATE
HITLER HAS WORKED.

BERG THREW MY
CLOTHES OUT THE WINDOW.

OH, IS HE STILL
MAD AT YOU ABOUT...

YOU KNOW?

YOU CAN SAY IT, SHARON.

ME AND SUSAN... I HAVEN'T DONE
ANYTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF.

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU SHOULD GET
THE FRIEND OF THE YEAR AWARD.

WHY IS EVERYONE SO
CONCERNED WITH BERG, HUH?

WHY ISN'T ANYONE
CONCERNED ABOUT ME?

I'M DEALING WITH A LOT OF
DIFFICULT EMOTIONS NOW.

NOW, WILL SOMEONE
PLEASE FIND ME A STICK

AND HELP ME PICK MY
UNDERWEAR OUT OF A TREE?

I'M LATE FOR A TRAIN.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

ALBANY.

WHAT?

SUSAN AND I ARE GOING
TO SEE WHERE WE STAND.

WOW. I BET YOUR BRAIN
IS NO BIGGER THAN A PEA.

WHAT I THINK ASHLEY MEANS TO SAY

IS, SWEETIE, I THINK YOU
JUST NEED TO SLOW DOWN

AND THINK ABOUT
WHAT THIS WILL DO

TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH BERG.

NO, WHAT I MEANT WAS
I BET IF WE HAD A PEA

AND THEN PETE'S BRAIN
AND WE COMPARED...

THANK YOU.

BERG WILL GET OVER
THIS. HE ALWAYS DOES.

NOT THIS TIME, PETE.

SHARON, HE'LL GET OVER THIS.

WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT.

WE'VE WEATHERED
STUFF LIKE THIS BEFORE.

REMEMBER WHEN HE WENT OUT
WITH MARTY WITHOUT ASKING?

I GOT OVER IT.

REALLY?

NO, BUT WE'RE STILL FRIENDS.

IT'S HARDLY THE SAME.

SEE, I KNEW YOU
WOULD SIDE WITH HIM.

NO, COME ON. I AM
NOT SIDING WITH HIM.

THERE'S NO ONE
RIGHT OR WRONG HERE.

PETE, HE WILL NEVER,
EVER UNDERSTAND THIS,

SO IF THIS IS WHAT
YOU WANT TO DO,

YOU HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

FOR YOUR DECISION.

WELL...

LOOKS LIKE I'M ALL YOU'VE
GOT LEFT IN THE WORLD.

WELL, GO AHEAD.

THE LIONS AND THE JACKALS
HAVE HAD THEIR FILL OF ME.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO SWOOP DOWN

AND STICK YOUR UGLY
NECK INTO MY CARCASS.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?

DID YOU PUT A SIGN ON MY BACK?

I KNOW THIS IS REALLY HARD,

AND I HOPE YOU MAKE
THE RIGHT CHOICE.

THANKS.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

OH, I'D WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO

AND THEN DO THE OPOSITE.

OKAY.

LAW SCHOOL IS $25,000 A YEAR

PLUS BOOKS, TIMES
THREE YEARS... DAMN!

OKAY, IF LAW SCHOOL
WERE $800 A YEAR...

HI.

HEY, BABY, WOULD YOU
SAY YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH

TO GET INTO A REAL
TOPNOTCH LAW SCHOOL?

YES, JOHNNY, I AM.

DAMN.

WHAT, SO YOU'RE GOING
TO BE UNHAPPY ABOUT THIS?

YEAH, I-I DON'T SEE HOW
THINGS HAVE CHANGED.

WELL, THEY HAVE.
THIS IS MY DECISION,

AND I'M GOING TO TAKE
RESPONSIBILITY FOR IT,

SO I'M GOING TO LAW SCHOOL,

BUT I'M GOING TO PAY FOR IT.

YOU KNOW, STUDENT LOANS,

PART-TIME JOB,
WHATEVER IT TAKES.

WOW, YOU... YOU REALLY
DO WANT TO DO THIS.

MORE THAN ANYTHING I'VE
WANTED TO DO SINCE THIS MORNING.

KIDDING.

SO... I GET A WIFE
WHO'S A LAWYER

AND I KEEP THE
MONEY IN THE BANK.

AM I THE BEST, OR WHAT?

OH!

WE HAVE A GREAT MARRIAGE.

HEY...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
US GETTING A SNOWMOBILE?

BERG, WAIT, WAIT.

I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU.

IN CASE YOU WANT TO KNOW,
I'M NOT GOING TO ALBANY,

ALL RIGHT?

I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T EVER
UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENED,

AND I KNOW YOU DON'T
WANT TO HEAR THE DETAILS,

SO HERE'S THE DEAL...

I THINK YOUR MOM'S AMAZING,

BUT THIS WHOLE THING ISN'T
WORTH LOSING MY BEST FRIEND.

REALLY?

YEAH.

SO I-I'M GOING TO CALL YOUR MOM

AND TELL HER THAT I
CAN'T SEE HER ANYMORE.

YOU'D DO THAT?

YEAH.

YEAH, AND I THINK
WHAT'S IMPORTANT

IS THAT WE, YOU KNOW,
PUT ALL OF THIS BEHIND US

AND GET BACK TO THE WAY WE WERE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

BITE ME.

HOW YOU FEELING?

GREAT.

GOOD, 'CAUSE I HAVE
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

I BAKED YOU A "PLEASE
FORGIVE ME" MUFFIN.

BEAUTIFUL. DESSERT.

LISTEN, I AM SO SORRY I
DISAPPOINTED YOU, BERG.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S FINE,

'CAUSE YOU ARE THE
ONE PERSON I KNOW

WHO ONLY ACTS OUT
OF GOOD INTENTIONS.

LISTEN, I WANT TO BE
A GOOD GIRLFRIEND.

I WANT TO BE THERE FOR
YOU, SO FROM NOW ON,

IF I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU,
I'LL LIE RIGHT TO YOUR FACE.

OH, THANK YOU. WAS
THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?

WE'RE A TEAM, HUH?

WE ARE.

GO BERGIES!

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
MAKE JERSEYS, ARE YOU?

OH, I HAVE TO.

I THINK I MAY BE FULL.

I DON'T FEEL FULL.

OKAY.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?