Twin Peaks (1990–1991): Season 1, Episode 7 - Episode #1.7 - full transcript

Agent Cooper lets the seductive Audrey down easy by having a night-long talk with her about life and love. The following day, Agent Cooper and Bookhouse Boy Big Ed decide to pay a special visit to One-Eyed-Jacks to find Jacques Renault. Unknown to Cooper, Audrey goes undercover as a hostess at One-Eyed-Jacks and persuades Blackie to hire her. Josie Packard shares her suspicions with Truman about Catherine Martell's intentions. But Catherine learns that both Ben Horne and Josie are planing to murder her. A wounded Leo, now a fugitive, learns about Jacques' mynah bird at the police station and plots to kill it. Lucy continues to treat Deputy Andy coldly. Meanwhile, Dr. Jacoby receives a phone call from the dead Laura Palmer (so he thinks) while James, Donna, and Maddy plot to lure him away from his office so they can search it. Jerry and Ben Horne take the Icelandic businessmen to One-Eyed-Jacks to get them to sign the Ghostwood Estates business deal, while Ben makes a call to Leo to execute the burning down of the sawmill tonight, and Ben then makes another call to Hank Jennings to murder Leo, as well as Catherine, when the arson job at the sawmill is complete.

Audrey, you're a high-school girl.

I'm an agent of the FBI.

So do you want me to leave or what?

What I want and what I need
are two different things, Audrey.

When a man joins the bureau,

he takes an oath
to uphold certain values.

Values that he's sworn to live by.

This is wrong, Audrey.
We both know it.

But don't you like me?

I like you very much.

You're beautiful,
intelligent, desirable.

You're everything that a man wants
in his life.

But what you need right now,
more than anything else, is a friend.

Someone who will listen.

Friends, huh?

Now, I'm gonna go down and get us
two malts and some fries downstairs.

Then I want you to tell me
all your troubles.

I could take all night.

The night is young.

Now, I'm gonna get the food,
and you're gonna get dressed.

I can't tell you all my secrets.

Secrets are dangerous things,

- Do you have any?
- No.

Laura had a lot of secrets.

Finding those out is my job.

Good morning, Officer Brennan.

I sure wish you would stop
calling me Officer Brennan.

Officer Andy, this is peak-activity time
at the station switchboard.

So it's really not convenient for me
to talk right now.

Twin Peaks Sheriff's Station,
may I help you?

One moment, please.

Dr. Stanicek?

Yes, it's me.

Good. I've got the tests...



Well, thank you, doctor.

No, I'm fine.


Morning, Lucy.
Heard you were out sick yesterday.

I'm much better today, thanks.

- We're on it.
- I found it, yeah.

"Gracula Religiosa,

commonly known as the hill myna.

Native to Southeast Asia, Indonesia.

Feeds on fruit mainly,
some invertebrates.

Its ability to mimic the human voice
is amazing."

Yeah, well, so far,
we haven't heard a peep.

Hey, Waldo, what's up?

Well, it says here that "mimicry
is a kind of play with the myna."

But this one's in a weakened condition.
Starved, dehydrated.

I'd say he's feeling anything
but playful.

Here you go, little fella.

Oh, you wanna feed him,
Agent Cooper?

I don't like birds.

When do you think
he'll start talking again?

Well, according to the book,
his urge to mimic should return

with his good health.

Well, if it does,
then we've got a witness.

Well, we better keep feeding him.

You got any apples?

Yeah, there's some
in the bottom of the fridge.

These grapes are right on the edge.

These just came in from your office.

Ah, forensics confirm
Mr. Jacques Renault

had three guests to his cabin.

Laura Palmer, Ronette Pulaski
and Leo Johnson.

That was the only exposed negative
on that roll of film, Harry.

Look familiar?

That's our Waldo.

No, Harry, the girl. That's Laura.

Well, now we know who and when.

We don't know why.

Voice activated, Harry.

When the bird talks,
maybe we'll get some answers.

Albert confirmed that this matches
the fragment

found in Laura's stomach.

Thousand-dollar chip
from One-Eyed Jack's.

Jacques Renault's working there.
He's dealing in the casino.

Well, I think a little fieldwork
is in order.

Jack's is over the border,
little out of our jurisdiction.

Well, I know that, Harry.

That's why I was thinking this would be
a good job for the Bookhouse Boys.

Better call Hawk on that one.


Bobby Briggs.

Come on, lover boy. Leo's waiting.

I called you, but your dad answered.
I didn't know what to say.

Bobby's here, baby. Bobby's here.

I shot him, Bobby.

I know I did.

He just screamed and screamed.
He sounded like an animal.

You what?

Oh, slow down, Shelly. Talk to me.

He's out there, I know he is.

He's gonna kill me.

- Bobby, he's gonna kill me.
- Shelly, Shelly.

Start over. Go real slow.

Leo came home late last night.

He was all beaten up.
He had blood all over him.

I told him I was never ever
gonna let him hurt me again.

But he came at me,
so I pulled the trigger.

I shot him, Bobby.

What am I gonna do?
Where am I gonna hide?

Shelly, Leo Johnson is history,

I'm taking care of you from now on.

I'm gonna deal with Leo.
I'm gonna deal with James.

Bobby's gonna deal with everything.

Birdseed? No, this bird eats fruit.

The sheriff says it's a witness.

No, not just because
it saw something, because it talks.

And it needs to eat...

What's up, doc? Heh.

Just a few words
before I go to sleep.

I feel like I'm gonna dream tonight.

Big bad ones, you know?

The kind you like.

It's easier talking into the recorder.

I guess I feel I can say anything.

All my secrets.

The naked ones.

I know you like those, doc.

I know you like me too.

That will be my little secret, okay?

Just like your coconut.

Why is it so easy
to make men like me?

And I don't even have to try
very hard.

Or maybe, if it was harder...

This one's empty.

"February 23rd."
The night Laura died.

- Tape's not in there.
- He must still have it.

I mean, she died.
He never returned it.

God, do you think Dr. Jacoby
killed her?

We're gonna find that tape tonight.


Jacoby's office.

What if he's there?

We'll get him out.


Maybe he gets a phone call
from Laura.

What's up, doc?

Just a few words
before I go to sleep.

I feel like I'm gonna dream tonight.

Here, try this. It smells like a florist.

This won't do.
I want something more fruity.


- As in fruit.
- Jenny.

Could I see you in my office
in five minutes?

Sure. Yeah.

I'm not making myself clear.

I want a scent
that makes a statement.

Maybe you should try hanging it
around your neck.

It's a perfume,
it's a fashion accessory.

Two statements for the price of one.

I don't appreciate your attitude.

Well, thank you for shopping
Horne's Department Store.

I'm gonna use the little girls' room.


You know,
there's a real bad accident outside.

It sounded like a bus or something.

Come right this way, Jenny.

Something really special
to talk about today.

Come right in.
My, my, you look lovely.

Sit, sit.

Thank you, Mr. Battis.

This is for you, Jenny.

A reward for a job well done.

It's a unicorn,
ancient symbol of purity.

Tamed only by the young at heart.

Wow, a unicorn.

Jenny, you had a good time
at the club last week, didn't you?

Yeah, yeah,
I had a great time, Mr. Battis.

They were very pleased with you
as well, I must say.

They'd like you to continue.

And believe me, Jenny,
not many girls qualify.

- Really?
- Yes.

Now, the variety of work
is completely up to you.

Hostess, cocktail waitress.

Or if you are chosen, hospitality girl.

What's that?

Hospitality girls
escort important guests, VIPs.

It's a lucrative opportunity, Jenny.

Attending to wealthy men
in need of a little company.

That sounds cool,
as long as they're wealthy.

Jenny, your attitude
will take you far in this life.

Call this number,
ask for Black Rose.

Now why don't we make a trip
to Eveningwear

and find you something elegant?

Elegant sounds great, Mr. Battis.


How do you feel about rose?

"Ronette Pulaski."

You're in prison,
you remember faces from home.

They all seem like friends somehow,
even the ones you barely knew.

It's like something to hang on to,
I guess.

Must have been hard on you.

I paid my debt. That's what counts.

You know, you're a really big help
around here.

I wanna thank you for that,
for getting Norma through.

You're welcome, Hank.
It's no problem.

She told me in her letters
how much you've meant,

and how much Pete helped...


Yeah, no, not Pete. Um...

Oh, no, you mean Ed.

- Yeah, Big Ed.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a little better at faces

- than names, I guess.
- Oh.

Yeah, Big Ed.

Hello there.

Shelly, can we have
another cup here?

Hello, Hank.

Hi, Harry. Glad to see me?

You, uh...
You looking for a free lunch,

I recommend the meatloaf.

Well, save it. I'm looking for you.

- Harry, I'm innocent.
- What you are is on parole, Hank.

That means you pay your case officer
a visit once a week, Fridays.

You miss a visit, go to jail. Got it?

Thanks for the reminder, sheriff.

Stop in anytime.

Do you think people really change,

I don't.

Oh, afternoon, guys.

- You like some coffee?
- Afternoon, Shelly. Yes.

We should be on our way.

Harry, I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

Every day, once a day,
give yourself a present.

Don't plan it, don't wait for it,
just let it happen.

It could be a new shirt
at the men's store,

a catnap in your office chair,

or two cups of good hot black coffee,
like this.

A present. Like Christmas?


Oh. Man, that hits the spot.

Nothing like a great cup
of black coffee.

Bye, Audrey.

So did Battis get you a dress?

Yeah, he did.

Got mine yesterday. I'm gonna be
working hostess this weekend.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- Cool.
- Got one of these too.

Yeah, what am I gonna do
with a horned horse?

Ha, ha. Ditto.
I bet he's got cartons of them.

He probably does.

God, Jenny,
I did a really dumb thing.

Um, I lost that number
that he gave me for Black Rose.

Do you have it?

Yeah, I got it.




- Okay, I'll talk to you later.
- Okay, see you tomorrow.

I wasn't fooling, Montana.

You show them, Chet.

You show all of them.

Tune in tomorrow for Invitation To Love.


I'm eating bonbons.

Come on, honey, it's not that bad.

You don't know how bad it is.

You don't know all the things
I was gonna do for us.

I know.

A new TV, I was gonna do that.

I already looked at a motorboat.


It wasn't just things I was gonna buy.

It was a new life
we were gonna lead.

there's plenty of patent attorneys.

We just got to keep on looking
till we find one

that understands drape runners.


Rejected. That's what he said.

Nobody else
is gonna say anything different.

Nadine, don't you give up.
Don't you dare.

I just got that baby back
from Tim and Tom's Taxidermy.

When I caught him, he was this big.

But I guess by the time they take
the innards out and put the stuffing in,

it loses something in the translation.

Yeah, well, Pete,
it's still a fine-looking trophy,

no matter what the size.

Yeah, well, size isn't everything,
I guess.

Harry. I didn't expect you to be here.

I'm late for the mill,
but I'll make time for us.

What's wrong?

What were you doing
at the Timber Falls Motel, Tuesday?


Tuesday I was at the mill.

Hawk saw you.
I know you were there.



You can tell me anything.

Josie, you can tell me anything.

I was there

because Ben and Catherine
were there together.

I followed them and I took pictures.

What's this all about?

You asked me for proof last time.

And I followed them
and I took pictures.

The other night I heard
Catherine talking on the phone.

Something about an accident.

A fire. A fire at the mill.

A fire at Andrew's mill.

My mill.

I'm not gonna let this happen. No.

Neither will I.

I won't let it happen.

Well, now.

Evening, Harry, Ed. You all set?

- Is that what you're wearing?
- It's pretty spiffy, Cooper.

Do you like to gamble, Ed?

Well, I went to Reno once.
But I never felt too lucky.

Well, you're gonna be lucky tonight.

It's $10,000 of the bureau's money.

When I gamble
with a company stake,

I always like to bring back
a 10 to 15 percent return.

How much you wanna start with?

How about 300?

And, Ed, the suit is perfect.

Harry would like to talk with you.

So why don't I see you outside?

Yeah, Harry, what's on your mind?

I'm worried about Josie.
She's been real afraid.

About what?

Ben Horne and Catherine Martell.

Now, they've been seeing
each other on the side.

It's been going on for years.
Josie just found out.

She thinks that they're planning
to burn down the sawmill

and somehow get rid of her too.

Do you believe her?

I know Ben Horne wants that land
for the Ghostwood Development,

and I know Josie won't sell.
Yeah, yeah, I believe her.

How much do you know about her?

Where she's from?
Who she was before?

- What you getting at?
- The truth, Harry.

- That's my job.
- I know all I need to know.

I love her, and she's in trouble.

That's good enough for me.
Let's look into it.


- Is Hawk ready?
- Yeah, he's outside in the van.


I got that brand-new Cadillac
you wanted.

Good. It's perfect for our cover.

High rollers from the Tri-Cities.

Oral surgeons, Harry.

Big spenders
vacationing among the firs.

has Agent Cooper returned yet?

I need to leave another message.
Tell him that Audrey called again.

Yes, it's still urgent.

I'm glad you agreed to see me,
Mrs. Martell.

It's quite all right.

I'd never think to impose this late.

That's fine. Now what's this about?

Every agent is instructed
five signatures.

It's really the first thing we learn,
and somehow we missed one.

Now, refresh my memory.
What policy is this?

Your new life insurance.

Since the binder takes effect
at midnight tonight,

I really had no choice, see.
Just couldn't wait until tomorrow.

Right here, please.

Is everything in order, Mrs. Martell?

Yes. It's just...

This was handled without
our actually meeting each other.

And I... I'd almost forgotten.

To be perfectly honest with you,
Mrs. Martell,

I withheld that last page myself.

Did you?

Have to admit
I thought it a little unusual.

Life insurance and the client
is too busy to be involved?

I mean, you did know about this policy,
didn't you?

Are you suggesting

that there's something irregular
at work here?

I certainly never got that idea
from Mrs. Packard, no.

Or from Mr. Horne,
for that matter, either.

When he offered to collect
your signatures, I thought it was fine.

Just, with a new account
I like to be certain to cross every T.

Right here, please.

You know, I'm noticing
that there are some minor changes

that I asked my attorney to make
that are not included in this draft.

I think what I'd like to do

is go over this with him
on the phone in the morning

and initial the changes

and get the completed documents
to you at that time.

If there's anything that I can do
to help you with the policy

or anything at all, anything.

Are you an ambitious man,
Mr. Neff?

One likes to think so.

One never knows.

There may be a few T's left to cross.

Good night.

Mrs. Martell.

I'll see myself out.


Ed, why don't you open that up?

Wow, look at all this.


I'm sorry.

There's a curly-haired wig in there, Ed.
It's gonna work like gangbusters.

And I'll help you out
with one of those mustaches.

Do you think it will fit?
I got a big head.

Okay, give it a try.

Testing, one, two.

Laura, Laura.

- What happened?
- Somebody shot Waldo.

Aw, Jesus.

Poor Waldo.

What happened?

Somebody shot Waldo.

Birdy, birdy, birdy.

Want some orange? Come on.
Let's share.

Hello, Waldo.

Laura, Laura.

Don't go there.

Hurting me. Hurting me.

Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it.

Leo, no. Leo, no.

Casino's probably in the back.

If Jacques' dealing,
that's where we'll find him.

Well, I'll give you the high sign
and clear out.

Here comes something.

Evening, fellas.
They call me Blackie.

Glad to know you, Blackie.
I like your style.

Most do. First time here?

Yeah, it's our rookie season.

Well, you just think
of tonight as spring training.

With a little luck,
you just might make the team.

- You look like a cop.
- I'm the cop.

You look like Cary Grant.
Got a name?

Barney and Fred.
Just in from the Tri-Cities.

Well, Fred, what's your line?

Own a gas station.

Um, I'm an oral surgeon.

Well, I got a Chevy parked out back
with a serious root-canal problem.

Want to take a look?

Well, I was hoping you might need
a little gum work,

because I'd sure like to get
a look under your hood.

Mm, Fred's okay.

Fred's a prince.

So, boys, what's your pleasure?

- Cards and dice.
- For starters.

Casino's that way.

- This might just be your lucky night.
- Luck has nothing to do with it.

Not bad, Ed. Not bad at all.

Hawk, we have a small casino room

with the usual games of chance.

Bar's at the far end and
there's stairs to who knows where.

Everybody's having a good time.

No sign of Jacques Renault.

Ed's gonna head over
to the craps table.

I'm gonna play some blackjack.


let's gamble.

You simply have got to teach me
some of these incredible songs.

Incredible, eh?


Jerry, maybe you'd like to take
some of our guests

down to the dining room.

I'll be with you in a half a tick.

You should have seen them
at this tour of the site.

- The trees, Ben.
- Jerry.

- They worship them.
- Jerry.

I caught a couple of them
hugging pine.

- Jerry.
- No kidding.

When are they
signing the contracts?

This needs more pecan.
They're ready, Ben.

They're poised
with their pen in their hand.



- So, what's the catch?
- More fun.

Signing party.

They want to finalize the deal
at One-Eyed Jack's.

How did they find out about Jack's?

I take full responsibility.

Uh-huh. Jerry, Jerry.

Get them back on the van.

Heh. Okay, everybody,
back in the van!

Road trip! Road trip!

- Hey, going on a road trip.
- Road trip.

- Road trip.
- Road trip.

Road trip.

- Ahem.
- Hello.

Is she there?

I just came back. She's gone.

We need her at the mill.

I'll get her there.

- Is it set for tonight?
- Yes.

You shouldn't call here for a while.

I know the drill.

You're not a shy one, are you,

I'm not shy.

Hester Prynne.

Pretty name.

Maple House in Vancouver.

Roy's in Chicago.

Calgary Stampede, '87 through '89.

Where did you work in Calgary,


Can you give me a name?

The Lost Dude Ranch.

Big Amos still running things
out there?

Mm. Bigger and better.

Big Amos is the name of my dog.

I read The Scarlet Letter
in high school just like you did.

Give me one good reason

why I shouldn't airmail
your bottom back to civilization.

Sign here.

Welcome to One-Eyed Jack's,

Twenty-one again. Another winner.

- How did you do?
- Do I have to pay you back?

We'll take it out of my winnings.

- Care to sit in?
- Blackjack is not my game.

- Ed, can you count to ten?
- On a good night.

Then you can win at blackjack.

Gentlemen, place your bets.

- Jacques, is it?
- That's me.

Jade. Here's to old times.

Should old acquaintance be forgot?

Come on, baby. Bottoms up.

One for the road.
For old times' sake.


Hey, what's up, doc?

Feel like I'm gonna dream tonight.
Big bad ones.

You know?

The kind you like.

Who is this?

Who do you think it is, silly?

I want to see you.

- You're not Laura.
- Okay, doc.

First thing you have to do
is go to the door.

Go on.

There's something waiting for you.

It's today's paper, doc.
Now do you believe me?

Meet me at Sparkwood and 21.

In ten minutes.

But wait...

You think he bought it?

I think so.

I think he did.

Okay. Wait here for us.


Say goodbye, James.