True Blood (2008–2014): Season 1, Episode 3 - Mine - full transcript

Maybe you ought
to come on inside.

Are you trying to glamour me?

Yas

- That doesn't work on me.
- Why not?

I don't know. It just doesn't.

Is Bill available?

Let her in.

- Let her in.
- Oh, fuck him.

You have.

If y'all excuse me
and Bill a minute,

we have some business to attend to.



Where'd you find this?

Damn.

She smells fuckin' sweet.

And to think just five minutes ago

you were telling us how you were
living mainly on synthetic blood.

You big poseur.

I don't know, Malcolm.

She looks like a virgin to me.

That's none of your damn business,
you nosy bitch.

It is my business, cupcake.

You wanna know why?

Because virgin blood
is the best-tasting blood there is.

Well, second best.

- The best would be...
- Baby's blood.



I get hard just thinking about it.

Ladies first.

Stop!

Sookie is mine.

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True Blood
Season 1 Episode 3

If you're Bill's,

I certainly don't wanna do anything

to disturb your little arrangement.

That's why I always bring
Jerry with me.

Wherever I go.

He's like mad money.

Somebody needs
to get down on my johnson.

She's innocent.

She's mine.

Yeah, yeah, we got it.

Why aren't you over there
taking care of your master, human?

Can't you see
how hungry he is?

Bill, if you're hungry you're
more than welcome to have some of Jerry.

Come on, suck it.

Stick them in already. Get infected,
you fucking vampire asshole.

Come on, do it.
Let's see how you like hep D.

You fuckers ain't be able
to move for like a year.

Stop, he has hep D!

What is hep D?

Fuckin' bitch!

How does she know?

These fuckers killed Marcus!

If he hadn't gotten hooked on V,

he never would have left me.
We would've been...

This has all been very illuminating.

But we've got a long ride
back to Monroe,

and I'm sure we'll all wanna
have a little talk with Jerry

when he wakes up.

Out, Janella.
We're being evicted.

Isn't anyone even
the slightest bit interested

in how this little bitch
knew about Jerry?

You can't speak yet,
can you, sweetheart?

I could make her talk.

You forget.

She's yours.

Whatever.

Jerry, you stupid bitch.

Nobody fucks with me
and gets away with it.

I'm sorry you had to witness that.

Their visit was unexpected.

What's hep D?

Hepatitis D is the only blood-borne
pathogen to which we are susceptible.

Malcolm must be furious.

Hepatitis?

A mutation.

Relatively harmless to humans,
oddly enough.

I've never even heard of it.

That's because we've
kept it out of the media.

And it makes you sick for a year?

Just makes us weak
for about a month or so.

The biggest danger to us from hep D

is being captured and staked
during that time.

You don't want your weaknesses
to be public knowledge.

Precisely.

And what the hell did you mean,
"Sookie is mine"?

I was communicating to the others
that you were my human,

and therefore I was the only one
who could feed on you.

You must certainly
cannot feed on me.

Of course they known that,
they'd have considered you fair game.

I wouldn't have been able
to stop them from attacking you.

It'd be three against one, and Malcolm
is older than I am and quite strong.

And you and Diane dated?

We...

had sex once.

Just after she was made a vampire,
back in the late 1930s.

What?

Gross.

Bill, she's so...
They're all so mean, so...

Evil.

Yes, they are.

They share a nest.

And when vampires live
in nests they become cruel, more

vicious.

They become laws
unto themselves.

Whereas vampires such as I,

who live alone,

much more likely to hang onto
some semblance of our former humanity.

Here.

Contact info for two
electrical contractors.

They're willing to come out at night
and give you clothes.

Thank you.

- I have to go.
- May I kiss you goodnight?

I couldn't stand it after them.

- Why you still here?
- I don't wanna go home.

Night, y'all.

- Night, Dawn.
- Night.

Can I have one of those?

I guess.

Long as you're not on the clock.

You think Sookie's getting
serious about that vampire?

I think she's getting to know him.

And once she does, I don't think
she'll be getting too serious about him.

I think he's getting
pretty damn serious about her.

How so?

I was over at
the Stackhouses' last night.

He came over to call on Sookie.

All cleaned up
and smellin' nice.

Lookin' like he just stepped out
of some piece of shit movie

about plantations and shit.

Do you know he actually
owned slaves?

Least he could've done
was apologize to me.

How did Miss Stackhouse seem to feel
about a vampire being in her house,

interested in her granddaughter?

She seemed like
she was in seventh heaven.

It was fuckin' weird.

You know you don't have
anybody to blame but yourself.

It's obvious you're carrying
a big one for Sookie.

I've known it ever since I met you.

That's really not any
of your business, now, is it?

She's always been,

peculiar around men. I mean,
she's not gonna make the first move.

Do I have to remind you
that I'm your boss?

Come on, Sam.

Don't even try to pull any of
that "working for the man" shit with me.

You should've said something,
and you know it.

How come you never have?

How come you never
said anything to Jason?

Because I'm comfortable with him
being right where he is,

which is unattainable.

Which is part of my whole
fucked-up thing.

Low self-esteem, childhood trauma,
blah-blah, snore.

What's your excuse?

You know,

not everybody likes to lay
their guts out on the table like that.

Yeah, they might not like it,

but they all dream about finding
somebody they can do it with.

You know, the funny thing is?

I kind of did let Sookie know
for the first time night before last.

Not even a minute before that vampire
walked through my front door.

Well, if I were you,

I would get in there right now
while you still got a shot.

No, you wouldn't.
You just said so yourself.

She can't hear his thoughts.

For real?

Well, that explains everything.

I told her she can listen to my thoughts
whenever she wanted to.

No, see, she doesn't wanna
listen to anybody's thoughts.

She wants to not hear 'em.

But that requires
constant work on her part.

And now she's met somebody
and she can

drop all that effort
and just relax...

Oh, man, you don't
stand a chance.

I'm really sorry, but you don't.

You know, you can go home
anytime you want.

No, I can't.

Really.

- You kept me waiting.
- Oh, God.

I don't like to wait.

I need to taste you again.

Come on, Jason.

I probably should've told you
I've got a highly addictive nature,

I'm gonna get some more
of that sweet stuff out of you.

I guess you don't have
too much of a problem with that.

Don't fight me.
Because I will hurt you.

What are you to me?

Just another idiot slut
who puts out for vampires.

Here we go.

I know you liked it.

Slow down. I'm in no hurry.

I just drained that poor fuck
you left tied up to the bed.

Very considerate of you,
by the way.

Oh, God!
Where is he? Oh, no!

Which part of him?

- This isn't happening.
- What do you expect me to do?

You lay them out like
an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Although he did put up
quite a fight.

You!

That is not funny.
That is not funny!

You...

Just think of it as foreplay, baby.

Do it again. Do it again.

Give me some of that sweet stuff.

Goddamn it, Bill.

How many times do I have to tell you,
do not do that?

I'm sorry. It wasn't intentional.
I just got here.

I wanted to make sure
that you were safe.

Why can't I hear your thoughts?

Do you even have any thoughts?

Oh, I have thoughts.

Many lifetimes of thoughts.

So why can't I hear them?

I don't know.

Perhaps it's 'cause
I don't have brain waves.

Why not?

Because I'm dead.

No, you're not.
You're standing here, talking to me.

I have no heartbeat.

I have no need to breathe.

There are no electrical impulses
in my body.

What animates you
no longer animates me.

What does animate you, then?

Blood?

How do you digest it
if nothing works?

- Magic.
- Oh, come on, Bill.

I may look naive,
but I'm not.

And you need to remember that.

You think that it's not magic
that keeps you alive?

Just 'cause you understand
the mechanics of how something works

doesn't make it
any less of a miracle.

Which is just another word
for magic.

We're all kept alive by magic.

My magic's just a little
different from yours, that's all.

I think we need
to stop seeing each other.

Why?

Because you don't breathe.

You don't have any
electrical whatever-it-is.

Your friends would like
to rip my throat out.

And because vampires
killed that preacher

from the Fellowship of the Sun church
and his wife and baby.

You look me in the eye
and tell me they didn't do it.

Humans have killed millions
upon millions in senseless wars.

I do not hold you
responsible for that.

Night before last,
I had to bury my bloody clothes

because I didn't want my grandmother
to find out I was almost killed.

And tonight,
I was almost killed again.

Why on earth
would I continue seeing you?

Because you will never find
the human man you can be yourself with.

Do not touch me.

Just go, please.

Thanks.

So...

Can I ask you a personal question?

Sure.

Why is it
you don't wanna go home?

This right here.

My mama's a drunk.

Not just a slurs-her-words drunk,

a waking-up-in-her-own-vomit
kind of drunk.

I'm sorry.

I just can't be around her
when she's gone like that.

I know she may end up dying,

lighting herself on fire
with a lit cigarette,

but I can't. I won't.

So, see, not only
is the whole situation horrible,

my guilt about it
just makes it that much worse.

- Why don't you get your own place?
- Why don't you give me a raise?

Had she ever tried AA?

She doesn't need AA.

She's got Jesus.

Can I

ask you a personal question?

Hold on.

All right.

Are you lonely?

I am. I am very...

very lonely.

How come you don't have
a girlfriend?

Plenty of women in this town
will go for you.

- I don't know if that's true.
- You're hot,

you have a job,
you're not a serial killer.

Who could resist that?

- Why don't you have a boyfriend?
- We're not talking about me right now.

Yeah, well...

I just have a hard time

opening up, that's all.

Oh, please.

What have you got to hide
that's so fucking bad

- in this fucking town?
- No, Tara.

I said I have a hard time opening up,
and I mean it. I'm not gonna do it.

Don't you ever get horny?

Sure.

How long has it been
since you've had sex?

A few months.

- That sucks.
- How about you?

- Eight months, three weeks.
- That sucks.

You don't know.

Ah, well.

Well, I guess you do.

- You want another one?
- Are you kidding?

I'm an adult child of an alcoholic.

- I'll need at least three more.
- All right.

I'll be right back.
Okay.

So maybe you and I
should sleep together.

- Yeah, right.
- No, I mean, we're grownups.

No strings.

- Friends with benefits.
- You're my employee.

Aren't you sick of not getting laid?

I know I am.

- Yeah, but that doesn't...
- You have condoms?

That's a terrible idea.

All right.

Whatever.

I mean, I am not
looking for a boyfriend.

Especially one who could fire me.

This would strictly
be a one-time deal.

We never even have
to mention it again.

Suit yourself.

you'd be able to forget about it

and not let it affect
our working relationship?

I've had to do much harder things
than that in my life, believe me.

Because if it got weird,
I'd probably have to let you go.

Big deal. Didn't even wanna
hire me in the first place.

Great.

- You feel nice.
- Yeah, I know I do.

What's wrong?

Jason, baby.

What is it?

I hate that you've been
with vampires.

And how exactly is that
any of your business?

They're fucked up.
They're freaks.

They're fucking dead.

What's wrong with you, letting something
nasty like that even touch you?

That was the best sex
I ever had in my life.

And who are you to judge?

You fuck anything with a space
between its legs.

You told me I was the best sex
you ever had.

And then you stopped calling.
And coming to Merlotte's.

And then I met that vampire.

Which vampire?

Bald-headed, tattoos,
crazy?

Actually,
he had a lot of hair.

I met him in Shreveport
at the vampire bar.

And you just let him
bite you?

Yeah, and I'm not...

- I'm not ashamed of that.
- You ought to be.

You ought to get off
your high horse.

Is that who you thought
I was tonight?

When you started rubbing up against me
like a cat in heat?

No, baby. I knew all along
it was you.

You're a lying sack of shit.

You would fuck that vampire
and let him bite you

- if he showed up tonight.
- All right.

Now this is getting boring.

And I think
you should leave.

And you gonna throw me out?
I don't think so.

- This is my house.
- And I go nowhere.

God, just because
you lost your hard-on

doesn't mean you have to have
a fucking meltdown.

Believe it or not, the world does not
revolve around your dick.

- Where are you going?
- To get a cigarette!

It isn't like I don't know
that you're a great fuck.

It happens to every guy
at some point or another.

Would you stop talking about it,
please?

Every guy except for vampires.

- Does it look like I'm laughing?
- Ah, you should be.

You do not own me,
Jason Stackhouse.

And if I want you out of my house,

you better get
your sorry ass out of here.

- I go nowhere.
- Oh, yes, you are.

You are obnoxious
and full of yourself

and dumber than a box of hair.

And now you can't even get it up?

There's no reason
why I should be seeing you anymore.

- You're fucking crazy.
- You bet your sweet ass I am.

Now get the fuck out of my house.

- Let me get my pants on.
- I don't think I feel like waiting.

Get the fuck out!

Goddamn it, woman.

That's right, you get the fuck
out of my house!

Limp dick motherfucker!

Go try your fucking grandmother
with that limp dick!

Bitch! I can get it up!

Bitch!

Yeah, you heard me.
Your neighbor's a crazy bitch!

Damn bloodsuckers.

Fuck!

Sookie, don't ever sneak up
on a vampire.

What are you doing here?

All right, here's the deal.
And this is a little embarrassing.

I've never been with a man
intimately,

for all the reasons
I told you about.

But I feel things when I'm with you
that make me think.

And I know this could be a huge mistake,
one I will regret forever.

But it feels like you're the one

that I'm supposed to,
you know, do it with,

and I'm really nervous about that,
and frankly, I'm scared to death of you.

So can we just
get it out of the way already

so I can relax
and get a good night's sleep?

Just don't bite me, okay?

Stop that.

You gotta be kidding me.

...but the vampires
assassinated my father,

because of his campaign
against the vampire agenda.

Theodore Newlin is a hero.

- First casualty in World War III.
- Amen.

It's Armageddon.

- Amen.
- Amen.

...I intend to continue my...

Vampire bats
are bats that feed on blood,

feeding on the blood of animals
like pigs and horses.

The vampire bat requires
about two tablespoon...

Damn it.

Oh, Malcolm. Come on, baby.

Damn.

I really liked Jerry.

Don't worry.

We'll find you another
hot little blood bank.

Let's go down to LSU tomorrow night
and raid us a frat house.

I'm in the mood for something
dumb, thick and juicy.

What luck.

Everyone's favorite buzz-kill.

- Hey, baby.
- Yo, Mr. Main Street.

Thirsty?

Hungry for something else?

I remember you
having a very sizeable...

appetite.

The three of you will stay away
from me and Sookie from now on.

I'm your elder.

You have no authority here.

There are higher authorities.

I'm not afraid of Eric.

Higher than him.

Well, then, she can speak to me.

She can suck on sunlight
for all I care.

You know, you were doing nothing
to help out Carla.

Not everyone wants to dress up
and play Human, Bill.

Not everybody wants
to live off that Japanese shit

they call blood, either.

As if we could.

We have to moderate our behavior

now that we are out in the open.

Not everybody thinks
it was such a great idea.

And not everybody intends
to tow the party line.

Honey, if we can't
kill people,

what's the point of being a vampire?

Where's Jerry?

We left him on the side of I-20.

Well, most of him, anyway.

I kept a souvenir or two.

Janella felt so bad
about what Jerry did,

she made the ultimate sacrifice.

You know, you all
make me sick.

You used to be fun.

This all on account
of that little blond breather?

If you insist on flaunting
your ways in front of mortals,

there will be consequences.

Asshole.

Where the hell you been,
you dirty whore?

Out all night doing all kinds
of God-know-what.

You the devil, child.
You ain't no child of mine.

- Oh, Jesus.
- Jesus ain't gonna help you.

That's been clear
for quite some time.

You sass the Lord

and I will kick your skinny ass,
you hear me?

You can't even stand up,

you pathetic, ugly old bitch.

Shit.

I ain't ugly.

Mama, why do you wanna
do this to yourself?

If Jesus was here,
he'd take one look at you

and he'd apologize for giving me
such a spiteful child.

You kidding?

Jesus wouldn't even set foot
inside this house,

not with the way you smell.

Now, let's just go

and take a shower.

I'm gonna help you up.

Who's ugly now?

All right.

You may have carried me

and nursed me,

but obviously you are now
set on killing me.

And if I'm forced to choose
between you and me,

guess what?

You lose.

You get back here.
You help me up.

You on your own, old woman.

You're gonna faint
out here in this heat, honey.

It's barely 9:00

and already 80 degrees.

Here. I made you some lemonade.
Fresh-squeezed.

Thanks, Gran.

Goodness, what has got into you?

I just need to stay busy
right now, that's all.

- What? How long have you been...
- I started when the sun came up.

But I was out much earlier than that.
I just stayed inside.

Are you concerned
about the vampire?

Has he done something untoward?

Not at all.

I'm just thinking...

What I'm thinking is...
is stay away.

But what I'm feeling...
What I'm feeling with

my whole body is

something else entirely
and I don't know whether to trust

My head or...

Heart.

Well, that is a dilemma.

Why don't you come on inside,
I cook you something?

If you're gonna be out
working like a horse,

you ought to at least to have
something in your stomach.

Thanks. I'm not hungry.

I didn't ask if you were hungry.

I'm coming! Hell.

Beating on my fucking door.

Damn.

She hit me
with a fucking liquor bottle.

- My head is bleeding.
- Will you stop yelling.

- Oh, shit.
- He in the shower.

- Do you think I'll need stitches?
- Let me see.

You're gonna put
some peroxide on that...

Then take two Vicodin
with a big glass of red wine.

Then smoke some badass ganja, baby.

By the time you wake up...
All healed.

Here.

One,

two.

- Mind if I stay here for a while?
- Does it matter if I'm around?

Then do you.

Damn.

- Everything I've done for that woman.
- Poor baby.

Here.

Suck on this.

Here to make you feel
a lot better.

This is my cousin Tara.

- Tara, this is...
- Duke. Duke Smith.

Boyfriend, you are so not a duke.

Excellent.

For the road?

All right.

Thank you.

- Call me when the... comes in.
- I will.

Ta-ta. Take care.

- What the hell was that?
- That was a state senator.

You're a prostitute now?

I'm an entrepreneur.

What?

I'm supposed to be satisfied
being a fucking short-order cook

and working on the road crew?

Which is basically one step
from the chain gang.

But I ain't complaining, baby.
I ain't, 'cause he gives me this body.

And this body's gonna be
my fucking ticket out.

It is. How else am I gonna get ahead
in this poor dump town?

Already got a website.

- Shows due.
- What's wrong with us, Lafayette?

You're a state-senator
fucking prostitute

and I'm a bartender in a redneck bar
who fucks her boss

who's in love with her best friend.

Here just take another hit off this.

Wait a minute.
You slept with Sam.

You know what?

He barks in his sleep.

- Damn, white folks just all fucked up.
- Yeah, that's what I said.

What's up, my brother?

Oh, hell.

Starbucks coming to Marthaville.

I wonder if I just break down
and get a goddamn cappuccino machine.

Do you know what I really wish
would come to Marthaville?

Buffy.

A Blade.

Or any one of those badass vampire
killers to take care of Mr. Compton.

That's what I wish.

You don't care about
my problems at all, do you?

You just want to play.
One-track mind.

Ready? Ready? Go!

Go get it!

Marthaville's getting a Starbucks.

I cannot for the life of me see

why anybody would spend $3
on a cup of coffee with too much milk.

Arlene told me
that people are less calcium-deficient

than they used to be because of all
the fancy coffee they drink nowadays.

You know, I never thought of that.
But it does make sense.

Hey, Gran.

Do you think I should
continue seeing Bill?

I can't tell you that.

I can tell you that I think he is

a smart,

handsome and very polite young man.

But of course he's gonna show
his best side to me

so that I won't stand in the way
of his courting you.

He scares me.

Well, it is scary

opening your heart up
to somebody.

I think it's a little scarier

the vampire then... the regular guy?

I suppose.

Bill is the first vampire I ever met

that I know of.

Not scared that he would
ever hurt me.

Scared because

I don't know what he's thinking.

I would imagine

that wouldn't be such
a bad thing for you

with your...

ability.

You know, your grandfather
used to know things.

What things?

If somebody was having money problems,
running around

behind their wife's back. Sick.

That kind of thing.

Personal things they never
would have told anybody about.

See, that's exactly it.

If I don't stop myself from it,

I hear everybody's deepest,
darkest secrets.

I'm sorry. That's just
too much information.

But then Earl's brother,
your Great-Uncle Francis,

came back from Korea
in real bad shape.

All torn up
from the things he'd seen.

Earl knew

he was thinking
about killing himself.

He went over there in the middle
of the night one night.

Francis was just about to kick
the chair out from underneath him.

Already had the noose
around his neck.

But Earl talked him out of it.

I just think there is a purpose
for everything that God creates,

whether it's a unique ability

or a cup of overpriced coffee
with too much milk.

Or a vampire.

God will reveal that purpose
when the time is right.

Wait.

I thought Great-Uncle Francis
did kill himself, with a shotgun.

Oh, yes, he did.
But that was years that...

Hold on, goddamn it.

Shit.

What the damn fuck?

Well, hello...

hotness.

I need your help.

I am so glad you finally
recognized that truth.

You're wearing gold pants.

So, what you need?

Do you have any...

Viagra?

What?

Viagra. Do you have any Viagra?

Seriously?
I thought you had everything.

Puppy dog, Viagra is legal.

You can buy it in the drugstore.

Yeah, I know, but I need it now.

Don't you have anything that would...

Give you wood so hard
a saw couldn't cut through it?

Yeah, that sounds good.

I think.

I do.

- But it's very expensive.
- How much?

Six hundred a quarter of an ounce.

Get the fuck out of here.

What in the hell's worth
that kind of money?

When'd you start dealing V?

When I realized
there was a market for it.

Now, I don't want this
getting out, motherfucker.

Do you understand me?

The vamps don't take kindly
to the juice dispenser.

Where'd you get it?

Let's just say I have
an arrangement with a certain

life-challenged individual

who appreciate
my multi-faceted talents.

Goddamn.

Is there anybody who isn't
fucking vampires these days?

Tell me something, lover.

Do you wanna get it up and keep it up
and have the best sex you have

ever had for both you
and your lady friend?

Take one, maybe two drops
of this. No more.

Any more and things might get a little
intense, I don't mean in a good way.

Thanks, man.
Appreciate it.

Ain't nothin' free in my world.

Can I pay you later?
I need to run to the bank.

Motherfucker, who you think I am?

I don't run a layaway program.

- I ain't interested in instituting one.
- Come on, Lafayette.

Isn't there some way you can let
me pay you this afternoon?

Goddamn in, I hate video cameras.

You know how much you could make
if you had your own website?

Queens all over this world
would pay

good money
just to watch you jack off.

You said all I had to do was dance.

Dance.

Is anybody gonna see this who knows me?

Probably. There's a lot
of pervs in this town.

No way. That's not cool, man.

Look,

do you want the V or not?

Give me the fucking mask.

That's my Jason.

What the fuck?

I like what you're working with.

Shake that ass.

Lover, you gonna make me
clutch my pearls.

- It's Sam. Could you do me a favor?
- Sure, maybe.

I'm set to open for lunch
in about 20 minutes,

Dawn still hasn't shown up
for her shift.

Sam, I really need my day off.

I'm not asking you to come in. I need
you to run by Dawn's and wake her up.

She probably just overslept.

It's me, Sookie.

Honey, you overslept.

Are you here?