Trinkets (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Happy F**ing Birthday - full transcript

Hey, you all right?

It's like you've been
somewhere else all week.

I'm fine, I just...

It's family stuff.
I don't really want to get into it.

Well, today is about you.

Here.

Happy birthday.

That's the new one.

It's all white, so I figured,
you know, it's gonna go with everything.

Thanks.

I mean, if you don't like it...



No, it's just...

Brady, I always wear this one.

You know it's my grandfather's.

Yeah, but that one doesn't even tell time.

Here, come on, just...

Try this one on.

Here.

Just like that.

Now, come on.

Is that not perfect?

Here. I'll just put this...

in here.

Are you ready?

Let's get this over with.



What's up, man?

Alright, okay. And stop.

Take it off.

Surprise!

What?

Oh, HBD, bitch.

- Almost legal.
- Something to look forward to.

Hey.

Happy birthday, T.

- Like, way to turn up 17 in style.
- Thanks for coming.

- Hey!
- Happy birthday!

Happy birthday to my baby!

- Thank you for everything, Mom.
- We pulled it off, didn't we?

And just wait for the sunset.
It's gonna be perfect.

Oh, there's my birthday girl.

Were you surprised?

Continuously.

Wait, Tabby.

I didn't get one of you smiling.
Can we redo your entrance, please?

- Seriously?
- Yes, come on. It'll be quick.

Please. I wanna post a good one.

- I'll just take one with Brady and I.
- Okay.

All right. Ready?

Smile!

With teeth.

Why does coming here make me want to
steal more than ever?

Work the steps, mama.

So, is anyone good playing
at Paper Tiger tonight?

Private party.

So, where is the third Musketeer?

If you're referring to Tabitha,

she's hosting her own party tonight.

It's her sour 17.

You're tough, Moe.

Seriously, she doesn't seem so bad.

What's the deal with her boyfriend?

Who cares? What is this, the Tabitha hour?

I don't know.
Is it weird that she didn't invite us?

No, it would be weird if we were.

You couldn't pay me to go to that party.

Actually, paying me would be the only way
you can get me to go.

Yeah, speaking of getting paid...

I gotta head to work. See you around.

Later, man.

Okay, the thought of you Insta-stalking
this party all night is just too sad.

Come on.

You're taking me to your house
for a good old-fashioned hang.

- Really?
- Yeah, really.

I need food.
And tea that doesn't taste like pee.

- A toast to the birthday girl.
- Yay!

Just one, since it's a special occasion.

Oh, yeah. See? That's the good stuff.

I like how you roll.

- Nothing but the best.
- Hm.

Brady, do the honors.

Absolutely.

To Tabitha.

To all the women in our lives...

who make us better men.

You don't make it easy,
but I love you.

Happy birthday.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Ooh. It's pretty good.

It's pretty good.

Hey, pace yourself.

Oh, no, it's okay.

- I got her.
- Tabby...

hold on to this one.

Yeah. Maybe one day,
we can be just like you and Mom.

Hey.

- You okay?
- I'm fine.

I just need some fresh air.

And this I got from Forever 21.

And this is from Bed Bath & Beyond.

So, you've been busy.

Yeah, I got a little carried away
with my last haul.

You can have this if you want.

Thanks.

So, at the meetings, when you said
you've only lifted a few times,

I'm guessing
that was a bit of an understatement.

Don't you lie in there?

Good point.

Sometimes, I just like
looking at all of it together.

Do you ever do that?

Dude.

You're kind of intense.

What did you, like,
pack this up when you moved?

I find it oddly calming.

People, places, they come and go, but...

objects stay, you know?

Why? What do you do with your stash?

I'm...

less of a hoarder.

I usually just, like, use whatever I take.

Oh, my God.

The look on Tabitha's face when you
flashed this was literally life-affirming.

What's the deal with you two?

You used to be friends?

Yeah, in, like, grade school.

What happened?

I don't know, man.

She changed, I changed.
It was a really long time ago.

So...

you guys didn't have a fight
or anything? Just...

stopped being friends?

Yeah, something like that.

So, um...

- how is the snack game around here?
- Oh.

Rad.

This fridge is sending me
a lot of mixed messages.

Okay, I see you, dinosaur kale.

Kombucha in four flavors
feels like overkill.

Generic string cheese
and generic soy milk.

Honestly shocked, but processing.

Oh, but you've got the homemade
almond milk, so... kinda saves it a bit.

Where does your dad keep his snacks?

Huh?

In the garage?
I bet he secret-eats Cheetos.

I hide them under the sink.

Oh.

- Hi...
- Hey.

- ...sir.
- Call me Doug.

Sorry, I didn't mean to
sneak up on you ladies.

- Dad!
- What?

Your... pants.

Oh, I just went for a ride to Tryon Creek.

Oh, next time,
you should go to Kelly Point Park.

It's a tougher ride, but the hidden beach
is so dope. It's definitely worth it.

I've been trying to get this one to go
with me to Kelley Point for weeks now.

I'm not going anywhere
with you dressed like that.

Sometimes you gotta go all in.

She gets me.

Hm?

Uh... El, maybe your girlfriend
would like to stay for dinner?

I mean, your friend, you know,
that's a girl.

Or maybe you're more than friends.
Either way, I'm cool.

We're not staying for dinner.

Yo, can I get a sink Cheeto?

Thanks.

But of course, the other problem
with going to Japan

is that it really ruins sushi
when you come back.

- Um, Auntie Cathy, I'm, I'm just gonna...
- Oh, go. I need a refill.

What else is new, right?

♪ Blinded by faith and devotion ♪

♪ Shade the fire inside our hearts ♪

♪ Ties that we've made
Have been broken by ♪

♪ The lies that pull us apart ♪

♪ Time that we take will be stolen ♪

♪ From a dream that was almost ours ♪

That was harsh.

I know, right?
He's so embarrassing.

No, I mean you.

Doug seems pretty chill.

What?

I just find it weird that you,
of all people, think my lame dad is chill.

What can I say? I'm a paradox.

Besides, old people kind of annoy me
less than high school people.

I don't think there's anyone
more annoying than my dad.

I take it you guys aren't close.

My parents divorced when I was six.

And my dad was kind of floundering
back in Albuquerque.

Then he got a job offer here, so...

The old career escape hatch.

It's like the harder he tries,
the more he bothers me.

And seeing him being Mr. Perfect Dad
to my step-brother is maddening.

It's like...

where were you the last ten years?

Well, he definitely spent
a solid amount of time buying spandex.

Ew.

Don't remind me.

Yeah.

My dad...

hasn't exactly been around.

So...

shout out to deadbeat dads.

Do you see him?

No.

That sucks.

It is what it is.

My mom's a fucking hero, though.

Yeah, and now that
my brother's away, it's...

just the two of us.

You doing all right over here?

Yeah.

I'm fine.

Well, you know that watch
looks great on you, right?

Now, you'll never have an excuse
to miss any of my texts.

Perfect.

- What's that supposed to mean?
- You know it's my birthday.

You can lighten up for one night.

Why is it always something with you?

I mean, we're throwing you
this huge-ass party

and you're acting like a spoiled brat.

This is my favorite version of you.

I don't want to fight tonight.
Let's just...

Can you stop?

- What?
- Listen, I mean it, Brady.

- Come on.
- Jesus!

What is your problem? Come on, relax.

Get the fuck off of me, Brady.

Jesus! Look,
I'm just trying to have a moment.

- God, you're such a fucking bitch.
- Jesus!

What are you going to do?

Throw me off of the boat
like you threw me out of your house?

- That's not what I was trying...
- Look, don't ever touch me again.

Okay?

Tabitha, come on.

We're so over.

Welcome to my kind of party.

Hey, Jackson.

Sup, Moe? It's been a minute.

If you miss me,
why don't you just come out and say it?

Let's catch up later?

We'll see.

What's his deal?

He was friends with my older brother, Ben.

- Were you guys ever...
- He got me through a slow patch.

Oh, there she is.

Hey, Tabby.

Hey.

Have you tried the soft-shell crab yet?

- It's heaven.
- Yeah, Mom, you...

- really outdid yourself.
- Oh, you know.

You were right about the raw bar.
Everybody is loving it.

Hey.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

I'm fine.

What's wrong?

Brady and I broke up.

But you guys were fine just a minute ago.

Mom, we haven't been fine for a while.

Everything is so dramatic with you two.

But it's okay.
Your father and I were the same.

Mm-hm. Something I aspire to be.

Look, you guys will work it out.

- You always do Tabitha.
- I don't know.

Maybe there's a reason
that we keep on breaking up.

Maybe we're not supposed to be together.

Tabby, don't be so moody.

- You guys are a perfect for each other.
- No, we're not.

Mom, it's complicated.

Look.

Hey.

Hey, hey.

We're all here to celebrate you.

So can you pull it together?

Please?

I promise you,
tomorrow you guys will be fine.

Mom, I don't know if can.

Come on.

You can.

Just...

take a deep breath,

put a smile on that pretty face and...

enjoy your party.

Come here.

All right, ready?

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy Birthday, dear Tabitha ♪

♪ Happy Birthday to you ♪

♪ You put salt in the wound ♪

♪ And a kiss on my cheek ♪

♪ You butter me up ♪

♪ And you sit down to eat ♪

♪ You add insult to injury ♪

♪ You say you believe in me ♪

♪ But you haven’t decided ♪

♪ About taking or leaving me ♪

♪ But you take and you take ♪

♪ Like silks up my sleeve ♪

♪ Tied corner to corner ♪

♪ Never ending ♪

Yeah. That was the best part.
Do you remember that?

- You see that?
- Mm-hm.

Yeah, like...

Beer?

Yes, thank you.

I'm Sam.

Elodie.

- Shotgun it.
- I don't know how.

Oh, man, you left me hanging.

Hello?

What?

That girl was totally
trying to vibe with you.

- What? No.
- She...

What do you mean?

She was flirting.

She's flirting right now with her eyes.

Dude, this is exactly what you need.

Someone to target practice on.

Low stakes, high reward.

I don't know.

Just go over and talk to her, okay?

But try not to embarrass yourself
this time.

Go.

You got this.

You okay?

Can we not, Dad?

Fair enough.

You don't want to talk to your old man
about boy problems.

You know what I was thinking about?

That time in Vail. You were seven, maybe.

I was six.

We somehow wound up on the Back Bowls.

And I thought I was going to have
to carry you down the whole way.

But you did it.

You remember what I told you?

Turn-by-turn.

God, time flies.

Yeah.

I guess all the clichés are true.

So, what's up with you?

Hm?

Why are you always
at the office these days?

It's nothing you need to worry about.

Speaking of, I got to make a call.

I love you, princess.

- Yo, Moe.
- Yo.

So, uh...

you wanna take a walk
in the woods or something?

As thrilling as that sounds,

I think I'm gonna pass.

You know, I mean, like, for sex.

Yeah, I got it.

It's still a no.

But offer appreciated.

Okay.

We were out in the middle of the desert
for this eclipse and...

turns out I got the date totally wrong.

Jeez.

You're cute.

I am?

So, where do you go to school?

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Thank you.

All right.

Cool.

Okay.

So what happened back there?

I don't know.
We kissed and I was bad at it.

Like, spectacularly bad.

So? It was just a kiss.

So awkward having someone else's tongue
in your mouth.

It was probably her.

It was maybe you.

But 90% probably her.

You think so?

For sure.

Bye! Get home safe.

Damn.

Portland gives great view.

Feels like I've been
holding my breath for months.

You're doing a lot better than you think.

Sorry we ditched your friends.

Could've been worse.

We could've been stuck
on Tabitha's birthday boat.

And you strike me as a kind of girl
that gets sea sick.

Is it that obvious?

Yeah.

Do you think her party was fun?

♪ We all know what's right ♪

♪ We didn't get it from a book or a site ♪

♪ We know it in our bones ♪

♪ All blood flows the same ♪

♪ So why did we end up this way? ♪

♪ While you're looking at your phone ♪

♪ We know it in our bones ♪

♪ All blood flows the same ♪

♪ So what are we gonna do to change? ♪

It was good for, like...

a long time.

And I thought I had,
like, the perfect boyfriend.

But...

the past few months,
it feels like everything's changed.

Like that night at the party?

Yeah.

Fuck him.

I just...

I don't understand how I got here.

None of this is your fault.

You know that, right?

Yeah, but seeing Brady and my dad together
at dinner, it's just way too much.

- Have you talked to your dad yet?
- I don't even know what I would say.

It's...

I don't even know if I want
to know the truth.

I've spent my entire life
looking up to my dad.

And now, he just feels like...

like a stranger.

I just never want to grow up
like my parents.

You did the right thing.

You ended it.

Yeah.

It's really over.

Promise me you guys won't say
anything about what Brady did.

- No, of course not.
- Promise.

Oh, my God.

- How could he?
- What?

He is so fucking dead.

♪ Right until the horror stopped ♪

♪ Right until the beat was dropped ♪

♪ I was never down and out
Till I doubted love ♪

♪ Felt wrong to let it go ♪

♪ But I was gone, we just didn't know ♪

♪ The answers were clear
They just came too slow ♪

♪ So one can chase it to the edge
You can chase it and let it go ♪

♪ Chase it to the edge
Slow down and let it go ♪

♪ Chase it to the edge
Chase it like a criminal ♪