Trinkets (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - P*ssy Palace - full transcript

[music playing]

Ow. Brady, you're on my hair.

- What?
- Wait, just let me...

Hold on, I'm almost done.

I know, but Brady, can we...

- [Brady kisses]
- Ow.

[car alarm beeps]

Shit! Someone's home.

[Tabitha] Um, hey, Dad.

Hey, princess.

What up, B-man?



Hey, just, uh, just doing some homework.

I thought you were playing tennis.

Well, I wanted to drop this off.

I know you can't go a day without it.

So, you, uh...

you catch the game last night?

Yeah. Stanford's killing it this season.

Still planning on applying early?

- I'm almost done with my application.
- Good.

When you're ready, let me know.
I'll put in a good word.

The director of admissions
was my fraternity brother.

Really, Dad? Because you haven't mentioned
that one before.

- All right.
- [chuckles]

I'm heading to the office.



- Tell your mom I won't be home for dinner.
- Even on a Sunday?

Those phones don't buy themselves.

Let's be more careful with this one.

I will.

[Whit] Bye, guys.

[door clicks open and close]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

[muffled] Spencer! Turn that down!

[exhales]

[grunts]

Elodie, what are you doing?

These blinds are shit.

- I feel like I'm in a prison.
- Okay.

So, we can replace them.
I'll talk to your dad. It's an easy fix.

It's really hard to sleep in here.

- Spencer's so loud every morning.
- I know.

Those cartoons drive me crazy,
but he's eight.

Forget it.

I have to get ready for service day.

I left you a KIND bar and
Go-Gurt on the counter.

- [door clicks closed]
- Go-Gurt?

[music playing]

♪ Lonely eyes and a save me smile
I know I could die tonight ♪

♪ Junior high and I’m getting by
I don’t wanna try ♪

- You guys miss anything?
- No.

Hey, I saw they hung your self-portrait
in the main hall.

You know I love your photos.
When are you giving me a copy?

You liked it?

- I really liked it.
- [Tabitha chuckles]

Yo.

Hey.

Hi. How you doing?

- I'm good.
- Good.

You're not. Look at these little hands.
[chuckles]

♪ What good when we’re out of time ♪

♪ Won’t say that I never tried ♪

♪ Will you
Set me free by the river side ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Sit with me.

Thanks.

- I'm Elodie.
- AJ.

I was new, once upon a time.

I like your backpack.

Vintage JanSport is having its moment.

It was my mom's.
She's the one with good taste.

Love that.

I'm putting together a protest-inspired
lookbook. Do you mind?

- No, go ahead.
- [camera clicks]

[music playing]

It has to be illegal for the school
not to bring us water.

They told us to bring our own
on the permission slip.

What, do you, like, work for the school?

I know soccer is all legs,
but honestly, that's sad.

Your shoveling is so weak.

Mind your own business, [scoffs] okay?

Maybe you are my business.

[Tabitha chuckles]

- Here.
- Stop! Put it in the bag.

Yo, dude, you mind?

We're trying to work here, all right?

Keep going.

- Keep going on your little bike.
- Brady, come on. Come on.

What?

Hey, guys, look, I can't tell.

Is he homeless or just having
the most epic walk of shame?

[taunting]

Come on. Keep going.

Have you ever considered
shaving your head?

I don't think
I have the right head shape for that.

Your instinct as the new girl
is to blend in,

when it really should be to stand out.

They're planting those trees
too close together.

Amber! I said six feet!

Here.

I'm really sorry about
what happened back there.

Thanks.

Put your hand here and then just, like...

- I remember you being much stronger.
- [chuckles]

Damn, so you're saying I fell off.

I mean, at least I don't have
a complete winter body.

Don't you ever miss wearing pants?

Don't you ever wanna dig a hole
and bury yourself?

If my goal was to bury a body,
it would be yours, and trust me,

you would be six feet under by now.

- Did you hear that? She threatened me.
- Hey, hey.

Okay, why don't we all just try to stay
in the service-day spirit?

Yeah? All right.

She's such a troll.

That was a little aggressive.

I was just kidding.

[indistinct chatter]

["So Good" playing]

♪ You're too much, I can't take it ♪

♪ You always seem to make my heart stop ♪

♪ And I can tell that there's something
In your eyes ♪

♪ Calling me ♪

♪ I want you now ♪

♪ I want you all over me ♪

♪ Can't you tell me all your secrets? ♪

♪ I'll tell you all mine ♪

- [phone chimes]
- ♪ I'll tell you all mine ♪

- Hey.
- Yo.

Where'd you go?

Just shopping.

Oh, is that what you call it?

I went to Hollister. I like their jeans.

What are we doing here?

Things are about to get interesting.

[music playing]

♪ I caught you lookin'
How'd you know my name ♪

♪ There's something cookin'
Underneath my hood ♪

Can I help you with something?

Yes, where is the "girl-on-girl" section?

Aisle three.

- You're gay?
- You are, remember?

You can get something for your girlfriend.

Yeah, good idea.

[chuckles]

Oh.

It's a little small for me, personally.

- Totally.
- I was kidding.

- Me too.
- [door opens]

So, this is where we hang out now?
[chuckles]

Yeah, you know, a real Central Perk.

I thought you were just fucking with me.

No, I'm learning Elodie's kinky.

And, sadly,
that's kind of a compliment from this one.

I...

didn't realize how much horsepower
this had.

Lingerie?

Are you really that basic?

What else are you into?
Horoscopes and fat babies?

Right. Because if everyone
likes something, it must be lame.

Kinda. Yeah.

I hope it's for you and not him.

Because otherwise, lingerie is just
some one-sided patriarchal bullshit.

So, is this more your speed?

["Soul No. 5" playing]

♪ I got a bicycle
I'm cruising down the street ♪

♪ I like to keep it
Who's a freak in the sheets? ♪

I mean, at the very least, you could just
not pick the obvious choice.

And what am I supposed to do?
Listen to your relationship advice?

I'm just saying, like...

Do you even care about what pleases you?

What about you, Elodie?

You're awfully quiet.

What about me?

What kind of stuff are you
and your girlfriend into?

Um... You know, just the usual... stuff.

I don't really have a lot
to compare it to.

Aw. That's cute.

Like you've been with that many people.
Wasn't Brady the first guy you boned?

[Tabitha]
Can you please not yell that out?

- You didn't answer the question.
- Yes.

Okay, I mean, how many guys
have you had sex with?

Two or three.
Depending on how you look at it.

- Who?
- Don't worry about it.

[Elodie] Uh, guys?

I kind of need your help in here.

I'm stuck.

Oh, boy.

Okay, so, what's happening here?

Well, I figured they haven't been washed.

- So...
- I got you.

Let me guess.

First time you guys did it
was Valentine's Day.

I'm seeing, like, rose petals
on the bed and shit like that.

No, actually it was winter formal

and it was the first night we said,
"I love you."

[Moe] Sounds about right.

Sounds pretty perfect to me.

It was.

Oh, my gosh.

[chuckles]

Free.

Actually, it was pretty quick.

That... doesn't sound surprising.

Everything before sex
is kind of the best part anyway.

Sex can honestly be so weird,
but also really good.

How about you, huh?

Have you and your girlfriend
done it before?

Yeah. A bunch of times.

Really?
'Cause I'm getting major virgin vibes.

[Moe] Ignore her.

Was your first time as special
as a winter formal?

It wasn't anything special.
It was just, like, a Tuesday.

It's cute.

And it's for me.

So... what's it going to be?

There's just so many. I don't know.

Maybe this will work?

[Moe] What would you need a cock ring for?
Like, a strap-on?

- It feels a little advanced.
- Yeah, how would that even work?

So, can you show us a photo of Zoey?

Like, I really need a visual, and like,
what is her last name? Or, like,

what does she even look like?
You never even show us her, ever.

Okay, fine.

I don't have a girlfriend.

I've...

never had a girlfriend.

I've never had sex.

So, what are you? Like, pathological?

I didn't mean to lie.

I just...

kinda came out the other day.

So, who is Zoe?

She's a friend from home.

She has a girlfriend, just...

not me.

I've wanted it to be
something more, but...

she didn't.

That sucks. [scoffs]

You know what you need?

This.

Because before you love someone else,
you got to love yourself.

I didn't mean to make things weird.

Turns out,
not all of your advice is useless.

[chuckles]

Excuse me. Can I check your bag?

Oh, hello again.

Yeah.

We cool?

Good, because I'm having
some sensitivity down there.

You know how it is.

What are your thoughts
on this brand of lube?

[laughing]

Slick, Moe. I seriously thought
we were going to be caught for sure.

- Not me.
- [phones chime]

Who...

Oh, Luca, what do you want from us?

"Cool show tonight at PT, 10:00 p.m."

Luca's kinda hot.

What? I can still tell.

Yeah, if you're into the whole dark,
mysterious...

Oh, shit, it's your dad.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

That's...

not your mom.

Well, you know I love
when I can get you all to myself.

You say that, but...

most of the time,
you have ten guys around.

Well, no one's around right now.

I actually just remembered...

I got something for us.

Oh, yeah?

I just thought...

maybe we could try...

this.

Why? What for?

I talked to friends and they said that
this could make things a bit more fun.

[scoffs]

I'm not sure how you want me to take this.

- Brady, I was just...
- No. Fuck this.

God, why is nothing
ever good enough for you?

So that's it? End of conversation?

Yeah. You should go.

- Brady...
- No, I asked you to leave!

[man on video indistinct]

Well, shit.

That's not great.

[knock at door]

It's unlocked.

[laughs]

I've seen a porn
that starts just like this.

I bet I know how it ends.

I didn't think you would be coming by.

Why?

We had plans.

Remember?

Yeah, I remember.

I also remember seeing you
flirt with your ex.

What? Does sitting next to someone
on the bus count as flirting?

'Cause if so, I may have a lot of people
to apologize to.

Oh, so you're just a bus whore. Got it.

Oh, you caught me. Don't shoot.

This isn't about the bus.
She came for me and you didn't do shit.

I really don't understand you. You want me
to pretend like we're not tight,

but you also want me to have your back?

No, I just didn't take you
for such a lemming.

- What's a lemming?
- Forget it.

Come on.

I'm being serious.

What do you want from me?

Right now, I just want you to leave.

[music playing]

Hi. Um...

Look...

I know the kind of girl
used to getting what you want.

I just...

can't be a part of your high school drama.

I'll see you around.

["Make Me A Song" playing]

♪ A pre-dawn song ♪

♪ To open up the ground ♪

♪ We found the sound ♪

♪ Now give me a song ♪

♪ I could love you more ♪

♪ I could love you more ♪

[whirring sound]

♪ Make me song ♪

♪ Make me a sound ♪

♪ Vibrate, resonate ♪

♪ It takes the ear ♪

♪ To hear ♪

♪ The waves ♪

♪ And the heart ♪

♪ To know ♪

♪ Your fears, so fear it ♪

♪ There's no hiding here ♪

♪ I could love you more ♪

♪ I could love you more ♪

♪ Make me song ♪

♪ Make me a sound ♪

♪ Vibrate, resonate ♪

♪ Make me song ♪

♪ Make me a sound ♪

♪ Vibrate, resonate ♪

♪ Make me song ♪