Trailer Park Boys (2001–2018): Season 10, Episode 10 - Episode #10.10 - full transcript
( ♪♪ )
(Rock music on radio)
( ♪♪ )
(Door opening)
Bubbles:
What the flying fuck are
these guys doing here?
It's been three weeks, man.
I told them to come.
Hey, boys.
Good to see you.
Just stay the fuck
out of our way
today, all right?
- Please.
They're going to be
shooting Trin's wedding
video for free, man.
Where the fuck
is Jacob, man?
He should be
doing this shit!
Probably working one
of his seven jobs,
I would assume.
Dickweed.
Dickweed?
Look, man.
You better not be
a fucking cranky ass
tomorrow, I'm telling you.
Well, it's kind of hard
to be positive, Julian,
when you know you're
getting fucking
evicted soon and...
and your best friend...
(Sigh)
Look, man, I'm going to
figure something out, Bubs.
Bubs, look at me.
Bubbles! Look at me!
(Grunting)
Listen, man.
I promise you,
It's going to be okay.
What would Ricky want us
to be doing right now?
Wouldn't want us
to be moping,
and crying,
and all that shit, man.
He'd want us to be
getting drunk and high
and celebrating that
his daughter's getting
married tomorrow.
And that's what the fuck
we're going to do.
If he was here he'd
probably be getting
my belly too.
He'd definitely be
getting your belly!
Tiddle-liddle-liddle...
Tiddle-liddle...
Come on!
Stop it.
Tiddle-liddle...
(Theme music)
( ♪♪ )
The past three weeks has been
pretty hard on all of us.
Especially Bubbles.
And tomorrow it's going to be
a very, very emotional day.
So the best thing
I can do for Bubbles
is to get him as drunk
as fuck tonight.
It's hard to feel sad when
you're hungover as fuck
and feel like shit.
The drunker I can
get him tonight,
the better he's going
to be tomorrow.
All right,
you know what?
What?
Let's do this up
the way Ricky would
want it, then.
Fucking right...
Right, he wouldn't
want this, you know,
to be, like,
a regular thing.
I know exactly what
he would do to this.
He would want it
to say that.
(Laughing)
Nice!
But it's missing
something.
What?
Bubs, come on!
What would Ricky
put on that?
I don't... Oh, Julian,
I can't do that.
Yes, you can.
Ricky's been drawing
cocks on things since
friggin' grade two.
I've had then all over my face,
across my back,
behind my ears.
Places I can't even see.
He even burnt one into me
with a soldering iron
when we were nine years old.
You can still
see the scar. Look.
He wrote "cockpit" under it.
(Giggling)
There. What do you think?
It's kind of small, man.
You can't even see it.
Put a couple
more on there.
Ricky thinks small
cocks are funnier.
Yeah, but he'd probably
put a few more on there.
How many cocks would
you prefer, Julian?
I don't know.
Three or four.
You would like three
or four cocks, would you?
Just put them all
over the place, man.
The more cocks
the merrier, bud,
The more cocks
the merrier, eh?
Would you fuck off!
(Giggling)
You said you wanted
three or four cocks!
Just listen, listen,
just put the cocks
on there and put
it on the car.
Julian wants three
or four cocks!
(Laughter)
Just take your
block off, man.
This is... This is awesome!
Check it.
I'm fucking stuck
in the corner.
(Laughing)
This is the best day
life, man!
Right on, bro.
Ohh...
Hey, when do you expect
folks to start arriving?
I don't know. For what?
Stag party, dude.
Today's my stag!
I know, man. It's awesome.
It's the best!
Well, and you're
my best man. So...
Oh man, you're
my best man, too.
That's so awesome.
No, I mean, like,
best man
best man, you know?
Best man times two!
Double it, baby! Boom!
Oh, shit.
No, Cory,
the best man's
supposed to invite
a bunch of guys
to come over and party
with us, you know?
And I get lap dances,
and drink till I puke.
Fucking awesome!
(Video game beeps)
Okay, cool. I'll...
If that's what
you want, dude, hey,
best man right here, man.
I got this.
It's going to be
awesome, man! Hey...
Glue fist!
(Grunting)
Hey, Mr. Lahey!
Hi, Randers.
I've got a surprise
for you, buddy.
Check that out.
Oh! Whoa!
I spent 10 hours
making that.
Nice!
Randy, can I offer you
a little drinkie-poo?
Mr. Lahey!
What?
I spent a lot of
time making this.
It's so you can get
your paper route back.
I don't want my paper
route back, Randy.
What do you mean?
You used to love
that paper route.
Here.
I don't love anything
anymore, Randy.
Mr. Lahey,
it wasn't your fault.
Well, maybe it wasn't,
but I should be in jail
along with Leslie Dancer.
Sarah:
I'm going to get this one.
(Laughter)
(Sigh)
You suck!
I was aiming for
that cup, okay.
(Chuckling)
I wonder what Jacob
is doing right now.
(Laughter)
Knowing those boys,
he's probably
in a strip club
getting titty shots.
Jacob would
piss his pants
and go into convulsions
if he got a titty shot!
Here.
Shots!
(Laughter)
Hey, Mom... Mom!
What are you
thinking about?
I'm just thinking
about how, like,
your dad used to really
love titty shots.
And like... When
I was still working
at the Aristocrat,
when I was dancing there,
once he ordered 47
just to, like,
impress me and...
it worked.
Luce, you promised.
Lucy:
I know... I know!
Let's get wasted, girls!
Whoo!
Barb:
Hello?
Hey!
Lucy!
Lucy:
Barb, you look like
a girl who wants to have
a shot of tequila.
Ah, no. No, no.
I couldn't.
Come on, Barb.
You can stay.
No! I have got too
many errands to do.
I just dropped by
(Singsong)
to bring you the
marriage licence!
Barb's been really great
through this whole
Ricky ordeal, like...
Without her,
I don't know what Trin
and the baby and I would
have done, honestly.
She's been a fucking star.
Why is Lucy being
so nice to Barb?
Like yeah, I know,
Barb said Lucy could
stay in the park for as
long as she wants to.
Well, that's Lucy.
What about the rest
of us who've lived here
our entire lives?
We're just supposed
to leave the park?
Barb is a straight-up bitch.
You know what?
One shot won't kill you.
No! One shot leads
to a whole bottle
and then I am back in
the prison in Yarmouth.
Finger blasting
for cigarettes.
I'm on the patch,
Sarah.
Being in jail
was fun at times.
I'm not going to lie, but,
when something major happens,
like Ricky getting shot,
you realize who your
friends are, and why.
And Candy and Donna?
Not my friends.
What matters to me now
is this park.
This park is everything
Hi, Jim.
To what do we owe
the pleasure, Barb?
Umm, well, I, uh,
I wanted to bring
you this. It's...
it's 51% ownership
of... of the park.
It is rightfully
yours, Jim.
I don't want it, Barb.
Jim...
Jim, are you sure?
Look...
My life's perfect
right here.
I don't need
anything else.
Well, if you're...
if you're sure.
Good luck.
Oh, Jim.
Jim, I am so
sorry for...
for my part
in all of this.
I never should
have threatened you
the way I did.
Sorry, Barb.
You were right.
Men shouldn't
keep secrets.
Julian:
Man, how the fuck
did he do this?
Ricky could roll
one of these while
driving, smoking
and eating a bucket of
chicken, fuck's sakes.
I give up.
I can't do it.
I miss that white boy,
you know I mean?
Give me that shit.
I'll do it, man.
Please, T. Thank you.
Roll a few of 'em, man.
Man, that's depressing.
I ain't feel like
this since, remember
The Green Mile,
when that big bald
motherfucker had bugs
coming out he moufs?
It's the same felling.
That movie's
killing, man.
Fucking rights.
Bubs, get over here
and do some shots, man.
You're depressing
the fuck out of us.
Oh, fuck!
Pardon me, Julian.
Pardon me. I didn't know...
we were having a big fucking
celebration here today.
Here.
Bubbles, you ain't
havin' no troubles.
Slow down on
the liquor, dawg.
I'm letting the liquor
do the thinking.
Isn't that what
Lahey does?
Hey, am I Lahey drunk?
You're getting there.
Okay, maybe I should just
start pissing all over...
No, no, no...
don't be pissing
in my bar, Bubs.
Pull up your fly.
Bubs, pull up
your fucking fly!
I'll piss wherever
the fuck I want to piss.
How about that?
Yeah, best man, dude!
Hey, there he is.
Jacob, get back
here, man. Drinks
on the house buddy.
Get out your wallet,
you're paying for these.
Why am I paying
for them?
Because you're the
best man, that's why.
Oh, so the best man
pays for drinks,
he pays for gay dudes.
He pays for
everything.
He'll probably pay
for my own death or
something. I don't...
Gay dudes? What
are you talking
about, gay dudes?
Hey man, he wants
a bunch of guys
to come over
and give him lap
dances and strip.
I don't think I asked
for that, Cory.
I'm not even gay.
Cory, that doesn't even
fucking make sense.
Why would the man
want to sit around
smashing pissers
on his stag party.
I don't know, man.
I don't judge.
I didn't ask.
Cory, you're worst
best man I've ever
seen in my life.
Hey, Tony. It's Julian.
Yeah, you got Dazzle
and that other one
working tonight?
What's her name?
The one that gets the
grinding going real good.
(Whispering)
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
They are?
Right on. Okay.
Send them over.
J-Roc:
Ray!
Jacob 'bout to get he
wood carved, y'all!
Various:
Yeah!
Blop!
Cheers, boys!
Cheers.
Get his wood
carved...
(Giggle)
He means his bird.
This is probably
gonna be the last time
I get a chance to say
anything to you, Ricky.
(Machine beeping, hissing)
And I want to get
something off my chest.
It's not an apology.
I'm not saying I'm sorry
or anything but...
I mean, the truth is,
you never had
a fucking chance.
The shit apple does
not fall far from...
You know, Ricky...
sometimes it's not
quite clear why people...
people do what they do.
I mean, life is a strange
fucking kettle of shit fish.
Like why your...
your mom left Sunnyvale
after you were born.
And why your father
and I were mortal
fucking enemies.
And why I...
(Sigh)
why I made your
life miserable
ever since you were
just a little boy.
Why?
Because, I mean, things
like this should only
happen in the Bible.
A man shoots
his only son.
(Mumbling)
(Reading)
"You're sick.
Smoke this when
you're feeling better."
(Chuckle)
Look at that, Rick.
Someone sent you a
fucking joint, bud.
Isn't that something?
Father and son.
You... you smoking
fucking dope,
and me drinking alcohol.
Well, Ricky, here's
a toast to you, bud.
To my only son.
Hey...
looks like the
liquor wins, bud.
(Machine beeping, hissing)
Fucking piece of shit!
(Electronic tone)
Woman: (On PA)
Doctor Bender to the
mental ward, please.
Doctor Bender.
(Indistinct
announcement on PA)
Cory! Get the fucking
dirty old meat trays
off the father
of the bride!
Well, you said
to put it somewhere
they won't get it.
Yeah well, you're
not going to put it
right on him.
Use your... And you've
got honey mustard
on his cumber-bun!
I'm trying to make him
look presentable here.
Sorry, dude.
Use your fucking brains!
Thanks, Bubbles.
George,
the meat is for friends
and family only.
And last time I checked,
you were neither.
I'm sorry. Um, I don't
need the meat anyway.
Any vegetables around?
Other than, uh...
you know.
Oh, you dirty cocksucker!
Go ahead! Go ahead.
Assault a police officer.
Ruin Trin's wedding.
What the fuck are you
even doing here?
Nobody wants you here.
Well, you know,
just here to offer
some support to Lucy
in these troubling times.
She might need a shoulder
to cry on a little later.
She's drunk.
Greasy bastard.
Don't even listen
to him, Ricky.
Arsehole.
You look good, bud.
Oh my God, you look
beautiful, Trin!
I'm so proud
of you, sweetie.
Ricky would
have been too.
I know.
(Chuckle)
Good. How are you?
Oh, Trinity,
you look so beautiful!
Are you nervous, honey?
Not really.
Barb...
(Shortly)
Julian.
Can I talk to you for
a second, please?
(Sigh)
Julian,
I really don't think
that we have very much
...one second.
to say to each other.
Look, I'm sorry,
all right?
And I know you have
every right to evict
everybody from the park.
Mmm!
But it's my
fucking fault.
I take full blame
for everything.
So, please,
don't ruin everyone
else's lives
because you're
pissed off at me.
Evict me, okay?
Let everybody else stay.
Please.
Trinity:
Julian, come on.
Let's go. I want
to get married!
All set, sweetie?
Yeah.
Okay, let's get this
show on the road before
we get kicked out of here.
Barb:
I agree.
Okay.
So, everyone knows that...
Rick's not really into
big church-y weddings
and so Trin and I
thought we'd keep things
short and simple.
J-Roc, T...
Three, four...
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
(Beat-boxing)
Motherfucker!
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
Eer-a... Motherfucker!
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
Hah, motherfucker!
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
Hah, motherfucker!
♪ Here comes... ♪
Here she come,
Here she come, wha!
Man:
Hah!
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered
here today to join
Jacob and Trinity
in holy matrimony a...
(Loud music on headphones)
Oh, sorry.
Uh, is this a bad time?
I just need one second.
I've got to switch
out the bed pans.
Usually we'd use a catheter,
but this guy's got
a huge urethra!
We call him the garden hose.
Lucy:
Okay...
Whoa! That is
a lot of piss!
Just get it the
fuck out of here!
Sorry. Um... carry on.
Right, where were we?
Um, Jacob,
do you take Trinity
to be your lawfully
wedded wife?
I guess I could.
I was really hoping
to marry her, though.
Isn't that what
we're here for?
Just say yes, Jacob.
Yes.
Good. And, Trinity,
do you take Jacob
to be your lawfully
wedded husband?
I do.
Good. Cory, may I have
the rings, please?
Oh, yeah, they're...
right here.
Here they are.
They're good too.
Cory, the fucking
wedding rings!
Oh, yeah, that's cool.
I left them in
a safe place.
Where the fuck is that?
At the trailer park.
Barb:
Oh, Cory...
We need the fucking
things now, Cory!
Do you want me
to go get them?
Jesus Christ...
Well, could we
use those?
well...
technically I suppose
they are actually rings.
(Sigh)
Right! And...
Ah, I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
(Applause, cheering)
...wah! Braa, braa!
You know what?
If Ricky was awake,
he'd light this big,
dirty bastard up
and he'd say,
"Let's fucking party all day",
and that's what we're doing!
We're partying
with Ricky all day!
(Mixed shouts)
That's for you,
old buddy.
(Electronic beep)
What's that?
Bubs, the smoke is
probably fucking up
the machines, man.
I don't think it was.
(Clacking)
(Electronic beep)
Hear that?
I know that sound.
Sounds like
he's clacking.
Julian:
Clacking?
I think he's clacking.
Clacking's this thing
that fellas can do.
You know, you get your...
you get your hips
going like that.
You know, and your unit's
going like that,
clack, clack, clack
all over the place.
Ricky was the best one at it.
Nobody could out-clack Ricky.
I mean, you tell him
any Top 40 song
and he could clack it
right to you. On key!
(Clacking)
He is clacking!
The dope's making
his brain go!
Oh, my God!
Everybody, get your
dope and light up
quick! Let's go!
Pull out the hose,
we'll reverse hookah!
Big hauls, Bubs,
big hauls.
He's still doing it.
Let's go, let's go,
everybody!
Blow into it!
Let's go!
(Electronic beeps)
(Clacking)
Ricky!
Barb:
He opened his eyes! Oh!
Rick!
Ricky!
Ricky:
Holy fuck, that's killer weed!
Lucy:
Oh my God, you're alive!
(Mixed shouts)
Ricky...
(Giggle)
Oh my God.
What the fuck is
going on here?
Where's Snoop?
He must be fucked!
Ricky, he was
gone long ago, man.
You've been in a coma
for three weeks, buddy.
No brain activity
at all, Ricky!
You just needed
a jump-start! He's
like an old truck!
(Laughter)
Ricky!
What the fuck are you doing?
What are you hugging me for?
(Sobbing)
I'm hugging you...
because... because...
I love you!
There, I said it!
(Mixed "aww"s)
You love me? What do
you mean you love me?
Are you crying?
I love you, Ricky.
I love you
like a brother.
I don't like you at all,
but I love you.
People say that
you don't really
know what you have
until it's gone,
and maybe it almost
took you being gone
for me to realize it,
but I love you.
Aww.
Ricky:
Randy, you better
calm the fuck down.
Randy:
In fact...
I love all of you.
(Mixed "aww"s)
We get in these
stupid frigging fights
over stupid
little things,
and sometimes it
makes us forget about
the bigger picture,
the bigger things in life.
You know what?
We're all family,
whether you like it or not!
Beautiful speech, Randy.
Very beautiful.
Come on, Barb,
what do you say?
Can we just make
Sunnyvale like
it used to be?
Please, Barb,
don't evict us.
I... I don't know, I...
Sunnyvale...
Sunnyvale needs
a fresh start.
You're right. It does
need a fresh start,
but this is Sunnyvale
here, Barb.
Give them all
a fresh start. Come on!
(Mixed shouts)
(Whimpering)
Please?
Well...
Well, I guess maybe
I could... I could...
consider it.
(Mixed cheers)
under...
certain conditions.
Bubbles: (Happy squeal)
All right!
Oh, my God, is my
daughter married?
(Laughter)
Well, let's go
back to Sunnyvale
and get high
and drunk as fuck!
We've got a wedding
reception to put on here!
(Cheering)
(Dog barking)
(Acoustic guitar music)
( ♪♪ )
( ♪♪ )
♪ There's a voice ♪
♪ That keeps on calling me ♪
♪ Down the road ♪
♪ Where I always seem to be ♪
♪ And every stop I make ♪
♪ I see my old friend ♪
♪ It ain't long
till I get spun 'round ♪
♪ And I'm gone again ♪
♪ Maybe tomorrow ♪
♪ My whole world'll
settle down ♪
♪ But it ain't tomorrow ♪
♪ So I keep moving on ♪
♪ I'm down a road ♪
♪ That never seems to end ♪
♪ Full of track lines
and rails ♪
♪ And lies around each bend ♪
♪ So if you're gonna join me ♪
♪ For a while ♪
♪ Better grab your hat,
you know I live like that ♪
♪ Kind of hobo style ♪
♪ Maybe tomorrow ♪
♪ I'll want to settle down ♪
♪ It ain't tomorrow ♪
♪ So this old world's
still my home ♪
♪ And I got my whole world ♪
♪ Waiting to unfold ♪
♪ In a Ziploc bag ♪
♪ Where I can drag out
this worn-down soul ♪
♪ And I made it
through so far ♪
♪ So I know it won't be long ♪
♪ I must be almost there,
already paid my fare ♪
♪ With this hobo song ♪
♪ And maybe tomorrow ♪
♪ My god'll help me
settle down ♪
♪ But it ain't tomorrow ♪
♪ So I guess
I'll keep moving on ♪
( ♪♪ )
(Seabirds squawking)
Fish:
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck off! Fuck!...
Fuck off! Jesus Christ!
(Whisper)
Fuck.
(Light clicks off)
Fuck off.
(Rock music on radio)
( ♪♪ )
(Door opening)
Bubbles:
What the flying fuck are
these guys doing here?
It's been three weeks, man.
I told them to come.
Hey, boys.
Good to see you.
Just stay the fuck
out of our way
today, all right?
- Please.
They're going to be
shooting Trin's wedding
video for free, man.
Where the fuck
is Jacob, man?
He should be
doing this shit!
Probably working one
of his seven jobs,
I would assume.
Dickweed.
Dickweed?
Look, man.
You better not be
a fucking cranky ass
tomorrow, I'm telling you.
Well, it's kind of hard
to be positive, Julian,
when you know you're
getting fucking
evicted soon and...
and your best friend...
(Sigh)
Look, man, I'm going to
figure something out, Bubs.
Bubs, look at me.
Bubbles! Look at me!
(Grunting)
Listen, man.
I promise you,
It's going to be okay.
What would Ricky want us
to be doing right now?
Wouldn't want us
to be moping,
and crying,
and all that shit, man.
He'd want us to be
getting drunk and high
and celebrating that
his daughter's getting
married tomorrow.
And that's what the fuck
we're going to do.
If he was here he'd
probably be getting
my belly too.
He'd definitely be
getting your belly!
Tiddle-liddle-liddle...
Tiddle-liddle...
Come on!
Stop it.
Tiddle-liddle...
(Theme music)
( ♪♪ )
The past three weeks has been
pretty hard on all of us.
Especially Bubbles.
And tomorrow it's going to be
a very, very emotional day.
So the best thing
I can do for Bubbles
is to get him as drunk
as fuck tonight.
It's hard to feel sad when
you're hungover as fuck
and feel like shit.
The drunker I can
get him tonight,
the better he's going
to be tomorrow.
All right,
you know what?
What?
Let's do this up
the way Ricky would
want it, then.
Fucking right...
Right, he wouldn't
want this, you know,
to be, like,
a regular thing.
I know exactly what
he would do to this.
He would want it
to say that.
(Laughing)
Nice!
But it's missing
something.
What?
Bubs, come on!
What would Ricky
put on that?
I don't... Oh, Julian,
I can't do that.
Yes, you can.
Ricky's been drawing
cocks on things since
friggin' grade two.
I've had then all over my face,
across my back,
behind my ears.
Places I can't even see.
He even burnt one into me
with a soldering iron
when we were nine years old.
You can still
see the scar. Look.
He wrote "cockpit" under it.
(Giggling)
There. What do you think?
It's kind of small, man.
You can't even see it.
Put a couple
more on there.
Ricky thinks small
cocks are funnier.
Yeah, but he'd probably
put a few more on there.
How many cocks would
you prefer, Julian?
I don't know.
Three or four.
You would like three
or four cocks, would you?
Just put them all
over the place, man.
The more cocks
the merrier, bud,
The more cocks
the merrier, eh?
Would you fuck off!
(Giggling)
You said you wanted
three or four cocks!
Just listen, listen,
just put the cocks
on there and put
it on the car.
Julian wants three
or four cocks!
(Laughter)
Just take your
block off, man.
This is... This is awesome!
Check it.
I'm fucking stuck
in the corner.
(Laughing)
This is the best day
life, man!
Right on, bro.
Ohh...
Hey, when do you expect
folks to start arriving?
I don't know. For what?
Stag party, dude.
Today's my stag!
I know, man. It's awesome.
It's the best!
Well, and you're
my best man. So...
Oh man, you're
my best man, too.
That's so awesome.
No, I mean, like,
best man
best man, you know?
Best man times two!
Double it, baby! Boom!
Oh, shit.
No, Cory,
the best man's
supposed to invite
a bunch of guys
to come over and party
with us, you know?
And I get lap dances,
and drink till I puke.
Fucking awesome!
(Video game beeps)
Okay, cool. I'll...
If that's what
you want, dude, hey,
best man right here, man.
I got this.
It's going to be
awesome, man! Hey...
Glue fist!
(Grunting)
Hey, Mr. Lahey!
Hi, Randers.
I've got a surprise
for you, buddy.
Check that out.
Oh! Whoa!
I spent 10 hours
making that.
Nice!
Randy, can I offer you
a little drinkie-poo?
Mr. Lahey!
What?
I spent a lot of
time making this.
It's so you can get
your paper route back.
I don't want my paper
route back, Randy.
What do you mean?
You used to love
that paper route.
Here.
I don't love anything
anymore, Randy.
Mr. Lahey,
it wasn't your fault.
Well, maybe it wasn't,
but I should be in jail
along with Leslie Dancer.
Sarah:
I'm going to get this one.
(Laughter)
(Sigh)
You suck!
I was aiming for
that cup, okay.
(Chuckling)
I wonder what Jacob
is doing right now.
(Laughter)
Knowing those boys,
he's probably
in a strip club
getting titty shots.
Jacob would
piss his pants
and go into convulsions
if he got a titty shot!
Here.
Shots!
(Laughter)
Hey, Mom... Mom!
What are you
thinking about?
I'm just thinking
about how, like,
your dad used to really
love titty shots.
And like... When
I was still working
at the Aristocrat,
when I was dancing there,
once he ordered 47
just to, like,
impress me and...
it worked.
Luce, you promised.
Lucy:
I know... I know!
Let's get wasted, girls!
Whoo!
Barb:
Hello?
Hey!
Lucy!
Lucy:
Barb, you look like
a girl who wants to have
a shot of tequila.
Ah, no. No, no.
I couldn't.
Come on, Barb.
You can stay.
No! I have got too
many errands to do.
I just dropped by
(Singsong)
to bring you the
marriage licence!
Barb's been really great
through this whole
Ricky ordeal, like...
Without her,
I don't know what Trin
and the baby and I would
have done, honestly.
She's been a fucking star.
Why is Lucy being
so nice to Barb?
Like yeah, I know,
Barb said Lucy could
stay in the park for as
long as she wants to.
Well, that's Lucy.
What about the rest
of us who've lived here
our entire lives?
We're just supposed
to leave the park?
Barb is a straight-up bitch.
You know what?
One shot won't kill you.
No! One shot leads
to a whole bottle
and then I am back in
the prison in Yarmouth.
Finger blasting
for cigarettes.
I'm on the patch,
Sarah.
Being in jail
was fun at times.
I'm not going to lie, but,
when something major happens,
like Ricky getting shot,
you realize who your
friends are, and why.
And Candy and Donna?
Not my friends.
What matters to me now
is this park.
This park is everything
Hi, Jim.
To what do we owe
the pleasure, Barb?
Umm, well, I, uh,
I wanted to bring
you this. It's...
it's 51% ownership
of... of the park.
It is rightfully
yours, Jim.
I don't want it, Barb.
Jim...
Jim, are you sure?
Look...
My life's perfect
right here.
I don't need
anything else.
Well, if you're...
if you're sure.
Good luck.
Oh, Jim.
Jim, I am so
sorry for...
for my part
in all of this.
I never should
have threatened you
the way I did.
Sorry, Barb.
You were right.
Men shouldn't
keep secrets.
Julian:
Man, how the fuck
did he do this?
Ricky could roll
one of these while
driving, smoking
and eating a bucket of
chicken, fuck's sakes.
I give up.
I can't do it.
I miss that white boy,
you know I mean?
Give me that shit.
I'll do it, man.
Please, T. Thank you.
Roll a few of 'em, man.
Man, that's depressing.
I ain't feel like
this since, remember
The Green Mile,
when that big bald
motherfucker had bugs
coming out he moufs?
It's the same felling.
That movie's
killing, man.
Fucking rights.
Bubs, get over here
and do some shots, man.
You're depressing
the fuck out of us.
Oh, fuck!
Pardon me, Julian.
Pardon me. I didn't know...
we were having a big fucking
celebration here today.
Here.
Bubbles, you ain't
havin' no troubles.
Slow down on
the liquor, dawg.
I'm letting the liquor
do the thinking.
Isn't that what
Lahey does?
Hey, am I Lahey drunk?
You're getting there.
Okay, maybe I should just
start pissing all over...
No, no, no...
don't be pissing
in my bar, Bubs.
Pull up your fly.
Bubs, pull up
your fucking fly!
I'll piss wherever
the fuck I want to piss.
How about that?
Yeah, best man, dude!
Hey, there he is.
Jacob, get back
here, man. Drinks
on the house buddy.
Get out your wallet,
you're paying for these.
Why am I paying
for them?
Because you're the
best man, that's why.
Oh, so the best man
pays for drinks,
he pays for gay dudes.
He pays for
everything.
He'll probably pay
for my own death or
something. I don't...
Gay dudes? What
are you talking
about, gay dudes?
Hey man, he wants
a bunch of guys
to come over
and give him lap
dances and strip.
I don't think I asked
for that, Cory.
I'm not even gay.
Cory, that doesn't even
fucking make sense.
Why would the man
want to sit around
smashing pissers
on his stag party.
I don't know, man.
I don't judge.
I didn't ask.
Cory, you're worst
best man I've ever
seen in my life.
Hey, Tony. It's Julian.
Yeah, you got Dazzle
and that other one
working tonight?
What's her name?
The one that gets the
grinding going real good.
(Whispering)
Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
They are?
Right on. Okay.
Send them over.
J-Roc:
Ray!
Jacob 'bout to get he
wood carved, y'all!
Various:
Yeah!
Blop!
Cheers, boys!
Cheers.
Get his wood
carved...
(Giggle)
He means his bird.
This is probably
gonna be the last time
I get a chance to say
anything to you, Ricky.
(Machine beeping, hissing)
And I want to get
something off my chest.
It's not an apology.
I'm not saying I'm sorry
or anything but...
I mean, the truth is,
you never had
a fucking chance.
The shit apple does
not fall far from...
You know, Ricky...
sometimes it's not
quite clear why people...
people do what they do.
I mean, life is a strange
fucking kettle of shit fish.
Like why your...
your mom left Sunnyvale
after you were born.
And why your father
and I were mortal
fucking enemies.
And why I...
(Sigh)
why I made your
life miserable
ever since you were
just a little boy.
Why?
Because, I mean, things
like this should only
happen in the Bible.
A man shoots
his only son.
(Mumbling)
(Reading)
"You're sick.
Smoke this when
you're feeling better."
(Chuckle)
Look at that, Rick.
Someone sent you a
fucking joint, bud.
Isn't that something?
Father and son.
You... you smoking
fucking dope,
and me drinking alcohol.
Well, Ricky, here's
a toast to you, bud.
To my only son.
Hey...
looks like the
liquor wins, bud.
(Machine beeping, hissing)
Fucking piece of shit!
(Electronic tone)
Woman: (On PA)
Doctor Bender to the
mental ward, please.
Doctor Bender.
(Indistinct
announcement on PA)
Cory! Get the fucking
dirty old meat trays
off the father
of the bride!
Well, you said
to put it somewhere
they won't get it.
Yeah well, you're
not going to put it
right on him.
Use your... And you've
got honey mustard
on his cumber-bun!
I'm trying to make him
look presentable here.
Sorry, dude.
Use your fucking brains!
Thanks, Bubbles.
George,
the meat is for friends
and family only.
And last time I checked,
you were neither.
I'm sorry. Um, I don't
need the meat anyway.
Any vegetables around?
Other than, uh...
you know.
Oh, you dirty cocksucker!
Go ahead! Go ahead.
Assault a police officer.
Ruin Trin's wedding.
What the fuck are you
even doing here?
Nobody wants you here.
Well, you know,
just here to offer
some support to Lucy
in these troubling times.
She might need a shoulder
to cry on a little later.
She's drunk.
Greasy bastard.
Don't even listen
to him, Ricky.
Arsehole.
You look good, bud.
Oh my God, you look
beautiful, Trin!
I'm so proud
of you, sweetie.
Ricky would
have been too.
I know.
(Chuckle)
Good. How are you?
Oh, Trinity,
you look so beautiful!
Are you nervous, honey?
Not really.
Barb...
(Shortly)
Julian.
Can I talk to you for
a second, please?
(Sigh)
Julian,
I really don't think
that we have very much
...one second.
to say to each other.
Look, I'm sorry,
all right?
And I know you have
every right to evict
everybody from the park.
Mmm!
But it's my
fucking fault.
I take full blame
for everything.
So, please,
don't ruin everyone
else's lives
because you're
pissed off at me.
Evict me, okay?
Let everybody else stay.
Please.
Trinity:
Julian, come on.
Let's go. I want
to get married!
All set, sweetie?
Yeah.
Okay, let's get this
show on the road before
we get kicked out of here.
Barb:
I agree.
Okay.
So, everyone knows that...
Rick's not really into
big church-y weddings
and so Trin and I
thought we'd keep things
short and simple.
J-Roc, T...
Three, four...
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
(Beat-boxing)
Motherfucker!
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
Eer-a... Motherfucker!
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
Hah, motherfucker!
♪ Here comes the bride ♪
Hah, motherfucker!
♪ Here comes... ♪
Here she come,
Here she come, wha!
Man:
Hah!
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered
here today to join
Jacob and Trinity
in holy matrimony a...
(Loud music on headphones)
Oh, sorry.
Uh, is this a bad time?
I just need one second.
I've got to switch
out the bed pans.
Usually we'd use a catheter,
but this guy's got
a huge urethra!
We call him the garden hose.
Lucy:
Okay...
Whoa! That is
a lot of piss!
Just get it the
fuck out of here!
Sorry. Um... carry on.
Right, where were we?
Um, Jacob,
do you take Trinity
to be your lawfully
wedded wife?
I guess I could.
I was really hoping
to marry her, though.
Isn't that what
we're here for?
Just say yes, Jacob.
Yes.
Good. And, Trinity,
do you take Jacob
to be your lawfully
wedded husband?
I do.
Good. Cory, may I have
the rings, please?
Oh, yeah, they're...
right here.
Here they are.
They're good too.
Cory, the fucking
wedding rings!
Oh, yeah, that's cool.
I left them in
a safe place.
Where the fuck is that?
At the trailer park.
Barb:
Oh, Cory...
We need the fucking
things now, Cory!
Do you want me
to go get them?
Jesus Christ...
Well, could we
use those?
well...
technically I suppose
they are actually rings.
(Sigh)
Right! And...
Ah, I now pronounce you
husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
(Applause, cheering)
...wah! Braa, braa!
You know what?
If Ricky was awake,
he'd light this big,
dirty bastard up
and he'd say,
"Let's fucking party all day",
and that's what we're doing!
We're partying
with Ricky all day!
(Mixed shouts)
That's for you,
old buddy.
(Electronic beep)
What's that?
Bubs, the smoke is
probably fucking up
the machines, man.
I don't think it was.
(Clacking)
(Electronic beep)
Hear that?
I know that sound.
Sounds like
he's clacking.
Julian:
Clacking?
I think he's clacking.
Clacking's this thing
that fellas can do.
You know, you get your...
you get your hips
going like that.
You know, and your unit's
going like that,
clack, clack, clack
all over the place.
Ricky was the best one at it.
Nobody could out-clack Ricky.
I mean, you tell him
any Top 40 song
and he could clack it
right to you. On key!
(Clacking)
He is clacking!
The dope's making
his brain go!
Oh, my God!
Everybody, get your
dope and light up
quick! Let's go!
Pull out the hose,
we'll reverse hookah!
Big hauls, Bubs,
big hauls.
He's still doing it.
Let's go, let's go,
everybody!
Blow into it!
Let's go!
(Electronic beeps)
(Clacking)
Ricky!
Barb:
He opened his eyes! Oh!
Rick!
Ricky!
Ricky:
Holy fuck, that's killer weed!
Lucy:
Oh my God, you're alive!
(Mixed shouts)
Ricky...
(Giggle)
Oh my God.
What the fuck is
going on here?
Where's Snoop?
He must be fucked!
Ricky, he was
gone long ago, man.
You've been in a coma
for three weeks, buddy.
No brain activity
at all, Ricky!
You just needed
a jump-start! He's
like an old truck!
(Laughter)
Ricky!
What the fuck are you doing?
What are you hugging me for?
(Sobbing)
I'm hugging you...
because... because...
I love you!
There, I said it!
(Mixed "aww"s)
You love me? What do
you mean you love me?
Are you crying?
I love you, Ricky.
I love you
like a brother.
I don't like you at all,
but I love you.
People say that
you don't really
know what you have
until it's gone,
and maybe it almost
took you being gone
for me to realize it,
but I love you.
Aww.
Ricky:
Randy, you better
calm the fuck down.
Randy:
In fact...
I love all of you.
(Mixed "aww"s)
We get in these
stupid frigging fights
over stupid
little things,
and sometimes it
makes us forget about
the bigger picture,
the bigger things in life.
You know what?
We're all family,
whether you like it or not!
Beautiful speech, Randy.
Very beautiful.
Come on, Barb,
what do you say?
Can we just make
Sunnyvale like
it used to be?
Please, Barb,
don't evict us.
I... I don't know, I...
Sunnyvale...
Sunnyvale needs
a fresh start.
You're right. It does
need a fresh start,
but this is Sunnyvale
here, Barb.
Give them all
a fresh start. Come on!
(Mixed shouts)
(Whimpering)
Please?
Well...
Well, I guess maybe
I could... I could...
consider it.
(Mixed cheers)
under...
certain conditions.
Bubbles: (Happy squeal)
All right!
Oh, my God, is my
daughter married?
(Laughter)
Well, let's go
back to Sunnyvale
and get high
and drunk as fuck!
We've got a wedding
reception to put on here!
(Cheering)
(Dog barking)
(Acoustic guitar music)
( ♪♪ )
( ♪♪ )
♪ There's a voice ♪
♪ That keeps on calling me ♪
♪ Down the road ♪
♪ Where I always seem to be ♪
♪ And every stop I make ♪
♪ I see my old friend ♪
♪ It ain't long
till I get spun 'round ♪
♪ And I'm gone again ♪
♪ Maybe tomorrow ♪
♪ My whole world'll
settle down ♪
♪ But it ain't tomorrow ♪
♪ So I keep moving on ♪
♪ I'm down a road ♪
♪ That never seems to end ♪
♪ Full of track lines
and rails ♪
♪ And lies around each bend ♪
♪ So if you're gonna join me ♪
♪ For a while ♪
♪ Better grab your hat,
you know I live like that ♪
♪ Kind of hobo style ♪
♪ Maybe tomorrow ♪
♪ I'll want to settle down ♪
♪ It ain't tomorrow ♪
♪ So this old world's
still my home ♪
♪ And I got my whole world ♪
♪ Waiting to unfold ♪
♪ In a Ziploc bag ♪
♪ Where I can drag out
this worn-down soul ♪
♪ And I made it
through so far ♪
♪ So I know it won't be long ♪
♪ I must be almost there,
already paid my fare ♪
♪ With this hobo song ♪
♪ And maybe tomorrow ♪
♪ My god'll help me
settle down ♪
♪ But it ain't tomorrow ♪
♪ So I guess
I'll keep moving on ♪
( ♪♪ )
(Seabirds squawking)
Fish:
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck off! Fuck!...
Fuck off! Jesus Christ!
(Whisper)
Fuck.
(Light clicks off)
Fuck off.