Totally Spies! (2001–2014): Season 1, Episode 2 - The New Jerry - full transcript
♪ Here we go,
we're getting on the road till we stop ♪
♪ And then we'll shop ♪
♪ So one, two, three now, baby,
here we go, go, go ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ On a mission undercover
and we're in control ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ We're Totally Spies
so get on with the show ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
(bleating)
(rumbling)
(beeping)
New WOOHP state-of-the-art technology?
Pull-ease. The Evapo-Blaster's
nothing but a glorified hairdryer.
I agree! That mission was totally lame.
I mean, "avalanche patrol".
What are we spies, or forest rangers?
Neither, apparently
we're goat babysitters.
ALEX: I thought this whole spy gig
was supposed to be fun.
So much for the days of exciting
missions in exotic places.
At least we can be psyched about our
big snowboarding trip this weekend!
What do you say we forget about
Jerry and his boring missions
and focus on what is really important.
(both exclaim)
Oh, it's fabulous!
But don't you think it's a bit tight
for snowboarding?
(screams) It's hardly
any of your business!
Now bug off!
(Clover shrieks)
(screams)
(sighs)
JERRY:A-hem.
(tuts)
(beeping)
- Alex here.
-I've noticed your grades have slipped.
I've arranged for you to be tutored
by our top WOOHP scholar
every day after school.
No need to thank me.
I'm just happy to help where I can.
(groans)
OK, being a spy has just gone
from mundane to ridiculous.
We can't even get ready for our trip
without Jerry bugging us!
Tell me about it!
That man is the absolute worst!
We should give him a piece of our minds!
I totally agree.
It's high time we put our feet down!
(all gasp)
(buzzing)
(all scream)
Well, you know what they say,
no time like the present!
(screaming continues)
(Clover sighs)
(shrieks)
OK, Jerry, enough is enough!
That's right! We're sick of you
butting into our personal lives!
Yeah, and no more
treating us like little girls!
Do I make myself cl...cl...clear?
Crystal clear.
Hello, girls. I'm Mac Smit.
Your new WOOHP guardian.
You're our new guardian?
What happened to Jerry?
Jerry decided after 35
wonderful years with WOOHP
it was time he worked on his golf game.
He's retired.
It's true, ladies.
I have indeed retired.
I am, however, confident I've left you
in very capable hands.
Mac should prove to be
a fine replacement.
So, does this mean we're never
going to see you again, Jer?
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
I can't believe Jerry retired.
It seems like just yesterday
he was invading our privacy and
majorly getting on our nerves.
We'll have plenty of time
to get acquainted later, girls.
Right now I need you to gather around
cos I have a really important mission.
Great, this guy's gonna be
a pain in the butt just like Jerry.
The first thing you'll need
for this mission
is an official WOOHP
Platinum Credit Card.
Did you just say Platinum Credit Card?
That's right. WOOHP gave me
a couple of new cards this morning.
Your first mission is to go shopping
on the organization's dime!
I know this fabulous
new department store in Paris.
GIRLS: Paris?!
B-but what about our gadgets?
Jerry always gives us gadgets.
OK, here's the Parasol Crossbow,
the Backpack Jetpack,
the Crime-Scene Scanner Watch,
the Tornado-In-A-Can of Hairspray,
and a tube of Immobilizing
Stun-tan Lotion.
Have fun!
(all yell)
It's official, Mac's the best.
The total, ultimate coolest!
You can say that again.
But he's also... so cool and smart.
I'll call Jerry to see what
he might like for a retirement gift.
Hey, Jer. It's Alex. Just wondering
what you might like as a retirement...
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
- Rude much?
- Don't worry about it.
Yeah, Jerry's loss is totally our gain!
Maybe I'll buy a gift for Mac!
After all, a little generosity
could go a long way.
What the...? (screams)
SAM: Run for it!
(shoppers scream)
(all yell)
(beeping)
Oh, man! What a waste.
Those were cashmere!
Time for a little retaliation.
OK. That's a little more purchasing
power than I was looking for.
We better get back to WOOHP
and tell Mac what happened.
CLOVER: Nice suit.
Wow. Back so soon?
Yeah. We, uh, had a little "problem"
with the credit card.
Not that we didn't totally
appreciate you giving it to us.
What? Was it declined or something?
No. It attacked us with its
whirling saw blades of death.
We barely made it
out of the store alive!
Um, for you. Sorry I didn't have time
to get it gift wrapped.
Oh! You girls can't be serious!
Unfortunately, we are serious
and so is the $200,000 bill for damages
you'll be receiving from the store.
Doesn't it even bother you that we were
almost shredded by a killer credit card?
Alex, Mac is a seasoned agent.
He's probably been in so many
dangerous situations,
stuff like this doesn't faze him.
Girls, I apologize. You've got to
let me make this up to you.
How about a cliff-diving
adventure in Acapulco?
I think we've had enough
international excitement for one day.
Well, then the least I can do
is offer you a ride home in style.
Take my brand-new Turbo Titan 3,000 XT.
Just bought it yesterday.
Still has that new car smell.
GIRLS: Wow!
(giggles) Well, if you insist...
This is totally awesome!
I mean, could Mac possibly
be any more money?
He's got the brains, he's kinda cute
and his car's the bomb!
Tell me about it.
This car practically drives itself!
(tyres squeal)
CLOVER: Oh, sunglasses!
What do we need sunglasses for?
It's night-time.
It's not a question of function,
it's a question of fashion.
(explosion)
(all scream)
Whoa, I guess this car
really is the bomb.
I wonder what could have caused this?
The question is,
who could have caused this?
Huh?
(beeping)
- SAM: Bingo!
- ALEX: What is it?
A fingerprint. A fingerprint that
belongs to a criminal named Tim Scam!
Man, his rap sheet's longer than
Clover's list of past boyfriends!
Well, almost.
Uh-oh. We should warn Mac.
I mean, first the evil credit card
and now this.
SAM: I think this Tim guy's after him!
Huh, there's no answer.
We better get to WOOHP and warn him.
And how exactly are we gonna do that?
Yeah, in case you forgot,
our ride exploded.
CLOVER: Well, if we can't drive,
let's fly!
SAM AND ALEX: Yeah!
- Where could he be?
- I don't know.
- But we should leave him a note.
- That says what?
"In addition to turning your credit card
into a whirling blade of death,
"some psycho also blew your car into
a billion pieces of scrap metal."
"By the way, let's do lunch."
(gasps)
Check this out.
A schematic drawing of the Evapo-Blaster
and a file on Tim Scam.
That's weird, why would Mac have those?
Unless he knows Tim Scam is after him.
Wait a second,
this is a WOOHP employee file.
- That's impossible. That would mean...
- Tim Scam used to work at WOOHP!
According to these records, he was a
WOOHP weapons technician 20 years ago.
But it says here he was fired for
"illegal use of WOOHP technology."
What a creep!
We better call Jerry.
I'm sure he remembers Tim Scam.
After all, he worked here
for, like, 90 years.
Jerry, you've got to help us...
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
Très uncouth!
I mean, I don't care if he is retired,
this is an emergency!
Wait a second!
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
I knew it! This isn't live!
This is on a tape loop!
A tape loop? Why would Jerry do that?
- He wouldn't, but someone else might.
- Someone like...
Tim Scam!
(all gasp)
Hold it right there!
GIRLS: It's him!
Maybe we could use something in here
to give him the slip.
I get a ticket every time
I drive my car.
How am I supposed to drive
any of these crazy things?
How hard can this be to drive?
- What the...?
- Anti-gravity cycles!
CLOVER: No time for driving lessons!
(screams) As if my hair
isn't brittle enough!
(roars)
I never realized how
creepy this place is!
I'm glad we work outside the office!
I think we lost him.
(all scream)
(screams)
Guess I don't need that wheel after all.
(Sam screams)
Sammy!
Follow my lead!
(yells)
(all scream)
Ew!
- Where are we?
- Shh!
(footsteps approach/girls gasp)
ALEX AND CLOVER: Mac!
Alex? Clover?
That's strange, why would someone
outfit the Evapo-Blaster
with a missile guidance system?
We're so happy it's you
and not that crazy Tim Scam!
Yeah, he's been chasing us all over
WOOHP and he's after you too!
Hmm, by the way, do you girls still have
your Stun-Tan Lotion on you?
Sure.
So, what are we going
to do about Tim Scam?
Hey, did you know that your name
backwards spells Tim Scam...?
Whoa, that is a weird coincidence.
You're Tim Scam!
(all scream)
Thank goodness you're all right!
I was so worried Tim Scam got to you!
(gasps) Whoa!
Not so fast.
(groans) Call Emergency!
I need a deep tissue massage
right this second!
Make it two.
Hey, where's that jerk, Mac Smit
or Tim Scam or whatever his name is?
Forget about that jerk, where are we?
(all gasp)
Try to relax and enjoy the ride, girls.
- Why did you bring us out here?
- And what do you plan to do with that?
Why, I'm going to use it to evaporate
the entire Earth's water
from the safety of my space ship.
Even for a complete psycho like you,
that's still a really crazy idea.
-Thank you.
- We read your WOOHP file.
We know all about your criminal past.
WOOHP never did appreciate me
for the genius that I am.
Drop the money!
We've got you surrounded!
(yells)
No!
I can't believe I thought you were cool!
You seemed so smart
but now I see you're just another
run-of-the-mill terrorist.
We are, like, so over!
Yeah, you can just forget about
your crazy little plan,
because you're going to
have to deal with us!
OK. You're dealt with.
Oh, and while you're out there,
tell Jerry I said hello.
(blast)
(all scream)
(screaming continues)
Finally, my weapons
can be put to good use.
(sirens blare)
(gasps)
Oh, no. He already started!
We gotta stop him!
What do you think Scam meant by,
"Tell Jerry I said hello"?
(all gasp)
GIRLS: Jerry!
Now it all makes sense,
Tim Scam blasted Jerry out here
so he could take Jerry's place
and gain access to WOOHP!
We've got to get to Jerry
before he runs out of oxygen.
- How are we supposed to get to him?
- Wait, I've got it!
Great idea! What's your idea?
I'm going to use the Tornado in a Can
to give us a kick.
(all scream)
Oops. I guess I had the can
turned the wrong way.
(all sigh in relief)
(whirring)
We did it! We hooked up to Jerry's pod!
Now take us back to the mother ship!
(laughs) Hey!
It's a good thing there's no gravity
or Jerry would be out of luck.
(inhales deeply)
Come on, Jerry. You've got at least
a couple more years in you!
(inhales deeply)
(gasps)
(all sigh in relief)
Jerry's going to be just fine. Come on.
Where could he be?
Judging by that floating ocean
out there, I'd say he can't be far.
We've got to find the Evapo-Blaster
and send that water to Earth!
I've got your Evapo-Blaster right here.
(all yell)
Terrific, the one day
I forget my moisturizer!
(yells)
What is this?!
(yells)
Let me out of here!
GIRLS: Jerry!
Don't you remember?
I think this was your best weapon ever.
You look like you could use
some liquid refreshment.
(all scream)
(sighs)
Thanks so much for saving us, Jerry.
Yeah, I almost feel bad
for calling you a boring, old goat.
You called me a what?
No time to explain.
We gotta get that water back to Earth.
TIM SCAM: Let me out of here!
So, we missed our snowboarding trip
but we at least we saved the world.
And we saved Jerry.
I never thought I'd admit it, but I was
really starting to miss that old goat...
I mean, mature guy.
Good evening, ladies.
Just wanted to stop by and
thank you for saving my life.
Don't sweat it.
After all, you saved our lives too.
Still, I did want to properly
show my appreciation.
And so, I'm sending you on
a surprise ski trip to St. Moritz!
GIRLS: Wow! Thanks! Great! Cool!
But first, I have a mission
for you girls.
I need you to train the entire
WOOHP K-9 division.
That is after you do your homework
and clean your rooms.
And I have filing I need done.
GIRLS: Not again! Jerry!
we're getting on the road till we stop ♪
♪ And then we'll shop ♪
♪ So one, two, three now, baby,
here we go, go, go ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ On a mission undercover
and we're in control ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ We're Totally Spies
so get on with the show ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
(bleating)
(rumbling)
(beeping)
New WOOHP state-of-the-art technology?
Pull-ease. The Evapo-Blaster's
nothing but a glorified hairdryer.
I agree! That mission was totally lame.
I mean, "avalanche patrol".
What are we spies, or forest rangers?
Neither, apparently
we're goat babysitters.
ALEX: I thought this whole spy gig
was supposed to be fun.
So much for the days of exciting
missions in exotic places.
At least we can be psyched about our
big snowboarding trip this weekend!
What do you say we forget about
Jerry and his boring missions
and focus on what is really important.
(both exclaim)
Oh, it's fabulous!
But don't you think it's a bit tight
for snowboarding?
(screams) It's hardly
any of your business!
Now bug off!
(Clover shrieks)
(screams)
(sighs)
JERRY:A-hem.
(tuts)
(beeping)
- Alex here.
-I've noticed your grades have slipped.
I've arranged for you to be tutored
by our top WOOHP scholar
every day after school.
No need to thank me.
I'm just happy to help where I can.
(groans)
OK, being a spy has just gone
from mundane to ridiculous.
We can't even get ready for our trip
without Jerry bugging us!
Tell me about it!
That man is the absolute worst!
We should give him a piece of our minds!
I totally agree.
It's high time we put our feet down!
(all gasp)
(buzzing)
(all scream)
Well, you know what they say,
no time like the present!
(screaming continues)
(Clover sighs)
(shrieks)
OK, Jerry, enough is enough!
That's right! We're sick of you
butting into our personal lives!
Yeah, and no more
treating us like little girls!
Do I make myself cl...cl...clear?
Crystal clear.
Hello, girls. I'm Mac Smit.
Your new WOOHP guardian.
You're our new guardian?
What happened to Jerry?
Jerry decided after 35
wonderful years with WOOHP
it was time he worked on his golf game.
He's retired.
It's true, ladies.
I have indeed retired.
I am, however, confident I've left you
in very capable hands.
Mac should prove to be
a fine replacement.
So, does this mean we're never
going to see you again, Jer?
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
I can't believe Jerry retired.
It seems like just yesterday
he was invading our privacy and
majorly getting on our nerves.
We'll have plenty of time
to get acquainted later, girls.
Right now I need you to gather around
cos I have a really important mission.
Great, this guy's gonna be
a pain in the butt just like Jerry.
The first thing you'll need
for this mission
is an official WOOHP
Platinum Credit Card.
Did you just say Platinum Credit Card?
That's right. WOOHP gave me
a couple of new cards this morning.
Your first mission is to go shopping
on the organization's dime!
I know this fabulous
new department store in Paris.
GIRLS: Paris?!
B-but what about our gadgets?
Jerry always gives us gadgets.
OK, here's the Parasol Crossbow,
the Backpack Jetpack,
the Crime-Scene Scanner Watch,
the Tornado-In-A-Can of Hairspray,
and a tube of Immobilizing
Stun-tan Lotion.
Have fun!
(all yell)
It's official, Mac's the best.
The total, ultimate coolest!
You can say that again.
But he's also... so cool and smart.
I'll call Jerry to see what
he might like for a retirement gift.
Hey, Jer. It's Alex. Just wondering
what you might like as a retirement...
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
- Rude much?
- Don't worry about it.
Yeah, Jerry's loss is totally our gain!
Maybe I'll buy a gift for Mac!
After all, a little generosity
could go a long way.
What the...? (screams)
SAM: Run for it!
(shoppers scream)
(all yell)
(beeping)
Oh, man! What a waste.
Those were cashmere!
Time for a little retaliation.
OK. That's a little more purchasing
power than I was looking for.
We better get back to WOOHP
and tell Mac what happened.
CLOVER: Nice suit.
Wow. Back so soon?
Yeah. We, uh, had a little "problem"
with the credit card.
Not that we didn't totally
appreciate you giving it to us.
What? Was it declined or something?
No. It attacked us with its
whirling saw blades of death.
We barely made it
out of the store alive!
Um, for you. Sorry I didn't have time
to get it gift wrapped.
Oh! You girls can't be serious!
Unfortunately, we are serious
and so is the $200,000 bill for damages
you'll be receiving from the store.
Doesn't it even bother you that we were
almost shredded by a killer credit card?
Alex, Mac is a seasoned agent.
He's probably been in so many
dangerous situations,
stuff like this doesn't faze him.
Girls, I apologize. You've got to
let me make this up to you.
How about a cliff-diving
adventure in Acapulco?
I think we've had enough
international excitement for one day.
Well, then the least I can do
is offer you a ride home in style.
Take my brand-new Turbo Titan 3,000 XT.
Just bought it yesterday.
Still has that new car smell.
GIRLS: Wow!
(giggles) Well, if you insist...
This is totally awesome!
I mean, could Mac possibly
be any more money?
He's got the brains, he's kinda cute
and his car's the bomb!
Tell me about it.
This car practically drives itself!
(tyres squeal)
CLOVER: Oh, sunglasses!
What do we need sunglasses for?
It's night-time.
It's not a question of function,
it's a question of fashion.
(explosion)
(all scream)
Whoa, I guess this car
really is the bomb.
I wonder what could have caused this?
The question is,
who could have caused this?
Huh?
(beeping)
- SAM: Bingo!
- ALEX: What is it?
A fingerprint. A fingerprint that
belongs to a criminal named Tim Scam!
Man, his rap sheet's longer than
Clover's list of past boyfriends!
Well, almost.
Uh-oh. We should warn Mac.
I mean, first the evil credit card
and now this.
SAM: I think this Tim guy's after him!
Huh, there's no answer.
We better get to WOOHP and warn him.
And how exactly are we gonna do that?
Yeah, in case you forgot,
our ride exploded.
CLOVER: Well, if we can't drive,
let's fly!
SAM AND ALEX: Yeah!
- Where could he be?
- I don't know.
- But we should leave him a note.
- That says what?
"In addition to turning your credit card
into a whirling blade of death,
"some psycho also blew your car into
a billion pieces of scrap metal."
"By the way, let's do lunch."
(gasps)
Check this out.
A schematic drawing of the Evapo-Blaster
and a file on Tim Scam.
That's weird, why would Mac have those?
Unless he knows Tim Scam is after him.
Wait a second,
this is a WOOHP employee file.
- That's impossible. That would mean...
- Tim Scam used to work at WOOHP!
According to these records, he was a
WOOHP weapons technician 20 years ago.
But it says here he was fired for
"illegal use of WOOHP technology."
What a creep!
We better call Jerry.
I'm sure he remembers Tim Scam.
After all, he worked here
for, like, 90 years.
Jerry, you've got to help us...
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
Très uncouth!
I mean, I don't care if he is retired,
this is an emergency!
Wait a second!
Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired!
I knew it! This isn't live!
This is on a tape loop!
A tape loop? Why would Jerry do that?
- He wouldn't, but someone else might.
- Someone like...
Tim Scam!
(all gasp)
Hold it right there!
GIRLS: It's him!
Maybe we could use something in here
to give him the slip.
I get a ticket every time
I drive my car.
How am I supposed to drive
any of these crazy things?
How hard can this be to drive?
- What the...?
- Anti-gravity cycles!
CLOVER: No time for driving lessons!
(screams) As if my hair
isn't brittle enough!
(roars)
I never realized how
creepy this place is!
I'm glad we work outside the office!
I think we lost him.
(all scream)
(screams)
Guess I don't need that wheel after all.
(Sam screams)
Sammy!
Follow my lead!
(yells)
(all scream)
Ew!
- Where are we?
- Shh!
(footsteps approach/girls gasp)
ALEX AND CLOVER: Mac!
Alex? Clover?
That's strange, why would someone
outfit the Evapo-Blaster
with a missile guidance system?
We're so happy it's you
and not that crazy Tim Scam!
Yeah, he's been chasing us all over
WOOHP and he's after you too!
Hmm, by the way, do you girls still have
your Stun-Tan Lotion on you?
Sure.
So, what are we going
to do about Tim Scam?
Hey, did you know that your name
backwards spells Tim Scam...?
Whoa, that is a weird coincidence.
You're Tim Scam!
(all scream)
Thank goodness you're all right!
I was so worried Tim Scam got to you!
(gasps) Whoa!
Not so fast.
(groans) Call Emergency!
I need a deep tissue massage
right this second!
Make it two.
Hey, where's that jerk, Mac Smit
or Tim Scam or whatever his name is?
Forget about that jerk, where are we?
(all gasp)
Try to relax and enjoy the ride, girls.
- Why did you bring us out here?
- And what do you plan to do with that?
Why, I'm going to use it to evaporate
the entire Earth's water
from the safety of my space ship.
Even for a complete psycho like you,
that's still a really crazy idea.
-Thank you.
- We read your WOOHP file.
We know all about your criminal past.
WOOHP never did appreciate me
for the genius that I am.
Drop the money!
We've got you surrounded!
(yells)
No!
I can't believe I thought you were cool!
You seemed so smart
but now I see you're just another
run-of-the-mill terrorist.
We are, like, so over!
Yeah, you can just forget about
your crazy little plan,
because you're going to
have to deal with us!
OK. You're dealt with.
Oh, and while you're out there,
tell Jerry I said hello.
(blast)
(all scream)
(screaming continues)
Finally, my weapons
can be put to good use.
(sirens blare)
(gasps)
Oh, no. He already started!
We gotta stop him!
What do you think Scam meant by,
"Tell Jerry I said hello"?
(all gasp)
GIRLS: Jerry!
Now it all makes sense,
Tim Scam blasted Jerry out here
so he could take Jerry's place
and gain access to WOOHP!
We've got to get to Jerry
before he runs out of oxygen.
- How are we supposed to get to him?
- Wait, I've got it!
Great idea! What's your idea?
I'm going to use the Tornado in a Can
to give us a kick.
(all scream)
Oops. I guess I had the can
turned the wrong way.
(all sigh in relief)
(whirring)
We did it! We hooked up to Jerry's pod!
Now take us back to the mother ship!
(laughs) Hey!
It's a good thing there's no gravity
or Jerry would be out of luck.
(inhales deeply)
Come on, Jerry. You've got at least
a couple more years in you!
(inhales deeply)
(gasps)
(all sigh in relief)
Jerry's going to be just fine. Come on.
Where could he be?
Judging by that floating ocean
out there, I'd say he can't be far.
We've got to find the Evapo-Blaster
and send that water to Earth!
I've got your Evapo-Blaster right here.
(all yell)
Terrific, the one day
I forget my moisturizer!
(yells)
What is this?!
(yells)
Let me out of here!
GIRLS: Jerry!
Don't you remember?
I think this was your best weapon ever.
You look like you could use
some liquid refreshment.
(all scream)
(sighs)
Thanks so much for saving us, Jerry.
Yeah, I almost feel bad
for calling you a boring, old goat.
You called me a what?
No time to explain.
We gotta get that water back to Earth.
TIM SCAM: Let me out of here!
So, we missed our snowboarding trip
but we at least we saved the world.
And we saved Jerry.
I never thought I'd admit it, but I was
really starting to miss that old goat...
I mean, mature guy.
Good evening, ladies.
Just wanted to stop by and
thank you for saving my life.
Don't sweat it.
After all, you saved our lives too.
Still, I did want to properly
show my appreciation.
And so, I'm sending you on
a surprise ski trip to St. Moritz!
GIRLS: Wow! Thanks! Great! Cool!
But first, I have a mission
for you girls.
I need you to train the entire
WOOHP K-9 division.
That is after you do your homework
and clean your rooms.
And I have filing I need done.
GIRLS: Not again! Jerry!