Totally Spies! (2001–2014): Season 1, Episode 18 - Evil Boyfriend - full transcript
♪ Here we go, we're getting
on the road till we stop ♪
♪ And then we'll shop ♪
♪ So one, two, three now, baby,
here we go, go, go ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ On a mission undercover
and we're in control ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ We're Totally Spies
so get on with the show ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
(crowd gasps)
I trust you found the formula to perform
satisfactorily. Ha! Very well, then.
(alarm)
COMPUTER: Red Alert.
Security Breach in Sector 4.
Bring in the team from WOOHP.
- Clover?
- Sammy?
- Alex?
- ALL: Girlfriends!
Wow. We've all be so busy
studying lately, it's like...
It's like we haven't seen each other
in ages!
We are seriously in need of
some quality together time!
How about a group mani/pedi at
our fave salon right after school!?
BOTH: Excellent!
(bell rings)
- BOTH: Oooph!
- Nice going, loser!
On second thought,
it's really no biggie.
I'm James. Just transferred from London.
Sam. Nice to meet you.
So, can I take you out for a coffee
after school, Sam?
It's the least I could do
for knocking you over.
Sure. I mean, if it'll clear
your guilty conscience.
OK, everyone, please take your seats.
- Who was that?
- His name is James.
He's from England.
We're having coffee after school!
Oh, no! I totally forgot about
our bonding mani/pedi!
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, it's not every day you meet
a cute boy with an even cuter accent.
I know, why don't we have a movie
night instead? I'll bring the flick,
Alex can supply the popcorn
and Clover can bring the atmosphere.
BOTH: Deal!
OK, class, it's time to announce
the topic you've selected
- for your upcoming history project.
- ALL: History project!?
PA: Clover, Alex and Sam, please
report to the principal's office!
Principal's office?
I wonder what we did wrong?
- It's most likely Clover's fault.
- Hey, I'm innocent this time, I swear!
ALL: Whoa!
Told you I didn't do anything!
- (all groan)
- Afternoon, ladies.
If I wasn't so psyched about
missing the history project,
I'd be so ticked at you, Jer.
I wouldn't be too forgiving just yet.
I have a "project" for you of my own.
I need you to find out who broke
into this top-secret military base
- in Central America.
- A breaking and entering case?
- Don't they have regular police?
- It's not just any case, Sam.
The perpetrator attempted to steal
a formula for invisibility.
- Invisibility? You're joking, right?
- Not at all.
That is way cool!
It would totally come in
handy next time I have a zit.
Now for the gadgets. Today,
for your spying pleasure, we have:
the Smudge Scanner 2010;
the Feline-Streamline Catsuit
which allows you to move with
the stealth and dexterity of a cat;
the Phase-Changer Phaser
which momentarily changes materials
from solids to liquids;
the Eyelash-Curler Catapult,
self-explanatory;
and a pair of brand new,
oh-so-stylish HIGGS.
- HIGGS?
- HIGGS.
Heat-sensing Infra-red Glamour Goggles.
HIGGS.
Now farewell, my friends. Or, as they
say in Central America, "adios amigos."
(they yell)
According to my calculations,
the base should be right around here.
Only all I see is that waterfall.
Perfect. We're lost in
the middle of the oh-so-humid,
oh-so-hair-frizzing jungle,
miles away from civilization
and miles away from my hair diffuser.
Well, we don't have to be.
We could just ask one of
these nice gentlemen for directions.
(weapons arm)
- Take them inside.
- ALL: Inside?
Who are you and what are you doing here?
We're the team from WOOHP.
We're here to help.
But if you don't ease up on
the painful arm-grabbing,
- we're likely to change our minds.
- My deepest apologies.
Security has been beefed up
ever since the break-in.
Apparently so.
Why don't you show us
the scene of the almost-crime?
Other than a vanishing carrot, I don't
see anything out of the ordinary.
Maybe we aren't looking closely enough.
Bingo! We have a smudge! I'll scan it in
and send it to Jerry for analysis.
I'm sure he'll be waiting
with baited breath.
Indeed I will. So, other than the
smudge, how's the investigation going?
Do the words "boring" and "uneventful"
mean anything?
I see. Why don't you girls come home
and consider the case closed for now.
ALL: Cool!
Sam, you made it! I was beginning
to think you'd been taken hostage.
- Hostage?
- Yeah, you were in that office forever.
- Ha!
- So, anyway, I was thinking
we could work on our history project
together.
Like make a model of
the White House or something.
- Sure, sounds great.
- Great!
(phone rings)
SAM: Hi, it's Sam, you know what to do!
ALEX: Hey, Sammy. It's Alex.
Are you coming over? Call us.
Clover here.
Just seeing where you are, Sam.
ALEX: Hel-lo.
The popcorn's getting cold.
- (phone rings)
- SAM: Hello?
Sammy? Where are you? It doesn't
take four hours to pick out a movie.
Oh! Actually,
I kinda forgot all about it.
OK! I guess well have to watch TV
instead. See you in a few minutes.
Can't. I'm going to a late movie
with James.
Guess you're not so concerned with us
spending quality time together.
Of course I am.
You guys are my best friends!
So that means you're still gonna
go running with us in the park tomorrow?
I will be there. I promise.
BOTH: Huh?
(musical car horn)
CLOVER:
She should've been here by now.
But Sammy would never miss out on our
ritual Thursday night shopping spree.
It's, like, a very important tradition.
Hey, girlfriend.
Ready for some shoppage?
Lemme guess. You can't go because
you're going out with James again.
So what if I am? I mean,
it's not my fault I have
a really cool boyfriend and you don't.
"Boyfriend?" Puh-lease, Sammy.
Like, you barely even know this guy!
Yeah.
You're totally rushing into things.
Fine, then. If that's the way you feel,
then maybe we shouldn't be friends
anymore!
BOTH: Fine!
James? You're early!
Yeah. Couldn't wait to see you, sweetie.
So what was all the yelling about?
You, actually. Alex and Clover
don't approve of our relationship.
If they don't approve,
then who needs 'em?
My feelings exactly.
So where we going on our date?
It's a surprise.
I can't believe how she's acting.
It's like she's possessed or something!
Yeah. Possessed by a mean, snotty jerk.
You don't think Mandy
has anything to do with this, do you?
Probably not.
Oh, well. At least we have our various
mall purchases to cheer us up.
- Uh, Clover, what's the rush?
- It isn't me, it's the car!
I can't control it!
It's like it has a mind of its own!
ALEX: I'm thinking it's time to bail.
- (they scream)
- Maybe we can escape through the trunk!
Quick, give me a nail file!
- What?
- Never mind.
SAM: James, this jet is the bomb!
Where did you get it?
It's my father's. He's in the military.
- He doesn't mind that you borrowed it?
- He doesn't know that I borrowed it.
Now hold on tight,
we're coming in for a landing.
SAM: This is where our surprise date is?
James, what's going on here?
The truth is, I brought you here
because I need your help.
You see, I know that you're a spy
working on the invisibility case.
The invisibility formula
is my father's invention.
Only, he intends to use it for evil.
So, when I heard you were on the case,
I posed as an exchange student
in your school to seek you out.
So you lied to me?
Only because I tried to get
the formula once myself and failed.
Sam, this doesn't change the fact
that I love you.
And if you love me,
you'll help me destroy the formula.
I don't know...
I need you, Sam,
and so does the rest of the world.
We need you to help stop my father.
With this formula, who knows
what he could be capable of?
OK. Let's do it.
JERRY: Oh, my!
What's happened to you?
Someone just tried to turn us
into roadkill.
Where's Sam? She wasn't hurt, was she?
Hardly.
She's out with her new boyfriend.
Apparently she doesn't have time to hang
out with her friends or be a spy.
(printer whirrs)
I've just received the analysis
on the smudge you sent.
Hmm. Very interesting.
The smudge is actually a face print.
Does this mean anything to you?
ALEX: Oh! James!
Guess now we have a pretty good idea
who messed with my car!
We've got to find Sam!
I've traced Sam's compowder to
the military base in Central America.
We've got to get there right away.
But how?
Ask a stupid question...
JAMES: Careful,
the floor is pressure sensitive.
One wrong step
and security will be all over us.
Don't worry, this Feline-Streamline
Catsuit should do the trick.
(pants)
Toss me the Phase-Changer Phaser.
Got it!
Clover! Alex! Stop it!
You're acting crazy!
Did you help James break in
and steal the invisibility formula?
It's not like that! James's father
plans to use the formula for evil.
We stole it so we could destroy it.
Yeah, right.
And Clover's hair is really that blonde.
(gasps) Sam, James is a criminal.
He nearly did us in today.
I can't believe you guys
are still so jealous!
Look, we'll prove to you we're on
a mission. We'll destroy the formula.
Actually, Sam,
your little friends are right.
I did try to get rid of them today.
Guess I should have tried harder.
What are you talking about? You're
not a criminal, you're my boyfriend.
(laughs) I was just using you. Truth is
I'd never date someone so... pathetic.
Anyway, now that you helped me steal
this, I'll be the ultimate criminal!
And my first crime will be to kidnap
the President and hold him for ransom.
Thanks to our White House project,
I know the building
like the back of my hand.
Bottoms up.
Oh, and Sam...
thanks for the memories, sweetie.
Quick, he's getting away!
CLOVER: Where'd he go?!
(they yell)
I can't believe how stupid I was
to believe him.
I am so sorry.
You guys must totally hate me.
It doesn't matter that you were
a total unbearable jerk.
Yeah. We still love you
no matter how lame you acted.
I'd love to get back at that weasel.
Then let's get out of this net
and get to Washington D.C. ASAP!
I'll have us outta here in a jiff!
How many of those things do you have!?
(they yell)
That's one of the military base
choppers.
CLOVER: James must be inside already!
How are we gonna get over this fence
without alerting the Secret Service?
All aboard the Eyelash Curler Catapult.
(all yelp)
SAM: Now how are we gonna find James?
He could be anywhere.
- Our best bet is to find the President.
- Shh! Someone's coming!
- Close one.
- Hey, Look!
The footprints just stop. It's James!
Huh?
Security breach in the West Wing!
Where'd he go?!
JAMES: Outta my way!
Not so fast!
- Sorry, but we're the good guys!
- (gasps)
Split up. We've got to find him
before he gets to the President.
Huh?
Get back here!
- There you are, you little...
- (fire alarm)
- Which way did he go?
- I don't know!
If only I had some kind of heat-sensing,
infra-red goggles.
I'd be able to find James.
Hey, wait! I do!
Oh, no! Where's the President?
JAMES: Right here with me.
Let him go, James!
You'll never make it out of here!
We'll just see about that!
Open wide, Mr. President.
- (he protests)
- No!
Who are you girls and why did you
break into the White House?
We told you! We're from WOOHP.
We're trying to stop a kidnapping
attempt on the President.
More like trying to kidnap
the President yourselves.
- Where is your other accomplice?
- She's probably chasing James.
- Sam's evil, invisible boyfriend!
- That's evil invisible ex-boyfriend.
- AGENT 3: The President is missing!
- Huh?
Don't let these two out of your sight!
JAMES: Get into the chopper!
(Alex shrieks)
(coughs)
- Shall we?
- After you.
I'll teach you to mess with my Sammy!
- Oopsie.
- JAMES: Is that the best you can do?
Not even close, pal.
JAMES: Looks like we're going down!
GIRLS: Gotcha!
Hold him while I administer the serum.
Thanks for saving the President, girls.
Oh, and sorry about the handcuffs.
Now who's pathetic, sweetie?
Take him away, boys.
Nice work, spies. I've got another
mission I need you to get on right away.
Oh, sorry, Jer. We plan on
"disappearing" for the weekend.
Yeah. We'll catch you later.
Here's to never letting anything
get in the way of our friendship again.
Especially not a boy.
From now on,
it's all about togetherness.
- BOTH: Deal!
- (they yelp)
TWINS: Oops! Sorry! My fault!
Hey! Where are you going?
Hello?
Oh, well. So much for togetherness.
on the road till we stop ♪
♪ And then we'll shop ♪
♪ So one, two, three now, baby,
here we go, go, go ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ On a mission undercover
and we're in control ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ We're Totally Spies
so get on with the show ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
(crowd gasps)
I trust you found the formula to perform
satisfactorily. Ha! Very well, then.
(alarm)
COMPUTER: Red Alert.
Security Breach in Sector 4.
Bring in the team from WOOHP.
- Clover?
- Sammy?
- Alex?
- ALL: Girlfriends!
Wow. We've all be so busy
studying lately, it's like...
It's like we haven't seen each other
in ages!
We are seriously in need of
some quality together time!
How about a group mani/pedi at
our fave salon right after school!?
BOTH: Excellent!
(bell rings)
- BOTH: Oooph!
- Nice going, loser!
On second thought,
it's really no biggie.
I'm James. Just transferred from London.
Sam. Nice to meet you.
So, can I take you out for a coffee
after school, Sam?
It's the least I could do
for knocking you over.
Sure. I mean, if it'll clear
your guilty conscience.
OK, everyone, please take your seats.
- Who was that?
- His name is James.
He's from England.
We're having coffee after school!
Oh, no! I totally forgot about
our bonding mani/pedi!
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, it's not every day you meet
a cute boy with an even cuter accent.
I know, why don't we have a movie
night instead? I'll bring the flick,
Alex can supply the popcorn
and Clover can bring the atmosphere.
BOTH: Deal!
OK, class, it's time to announce
the topic you've selected
- for your upcoming history project.
- ALL: History project!?
PA: Clover, Alex and Sam, please
report to the principal's office!
Principal's office?
I wonder what we did wrong?
- It's most likely Clover's fault.
- Hey, I'm innocent this time, I swear!
ALL: Whoa!
Told you I didn't do anything!
- (all groan)
- Afternoon, ladies.
If I wasn't so psyched about
missing the history project,
I'd be so ticked at you, Jer.
I wouldn't be too forgiving just yet.
I have a "project" for you of my own.
I need you to find out who broke
into this top-secret military base
- in Central America.
- A breaking and entering case?
- Don't they have regular police?
- It's not just any case, Sam.
The perpetrator attempted to steal
a formula for invisibility.
- Invisibility? You're joking, right?
- Not at all.
That is way cool!
It would totally come in
handy next time I have a zit.
Now for the gadgets. Today,
for your spying pleasure, we have:
the Smudge Scanner 2010;
the Feline-Streamline Catsuit
which allows you to move with
the stealth and dexterity of a cat;
the Phase-Changer Phaser
which momentarily changes materials
from solids to liquids;
the Eyelash-Curler Catapult,
self-explanatory;
and a pair of brand new,
oh-so-stylish HIGGS.
- HIGGS?
- HIGGS.
Heat-sensing Infra-red Glamour Goggles.
HIGGS.
Now farewell, my friends. Or, as they
say in Central America, "adios amigos."
(they yell)
According to my calculations,
the base should be right around here.
Only all I see is that waterfall.
Perfect. We're lost in
the middle of the oh-so-humid,
oh-so-hair-frizzing jungle,
miles away from civilization
and miles away from my hair diffuser.
Well, we don't have to be.
We could just ask one of
these nice gentlemen for directions.
(weapons arm)
- Take them inside.
- ALL: Inside?
Who are you and what are you doing here?
We're the team from WOOHP.
We're here to help.
But if you don't ease up on
the painful arm-grabbing,
- we're likely to change our minds.
- My deepest apologies.
Security has been beefed up
ever since the break-in.
Apparently so.
Why don't you show us
the scene of the almost-crime?
Other than a vanishing carrot, I don't
see anything out of the ordinary.
Maybe we aren't looking closely enough.
Bingo! We have a smudge! I'll scan it in
and send it to Jerry for analysis.
I'm sure he'll be waiting
with baited breath.
Indeed I will. So, other than the
smudge, how's the investigation going?
Do the words "boring" and "uneventful"
mean anything?
I see. Why don't you girls come home
and consider the case closed for now.
ALL: Cool!
Sam, you made it! I was beginning
to think you'd been taken hostage.
- Hostage?
- Yeah, you were in that office forever.
- Ha!
- So, anyway, I was thinking
we could work on our history project
together.
Like make a model of
the White House or something.
- Sure, sounds great.
- Great!
(phone rings)
SAM: Hi, it's Sam, you know what to do!
ALEX: Hey, Sammy. It's Alex.
Are you coming over? Call us.
Clover here.
Just seeing where you are, Sam.
ALEX: Hel-lo.
The popcorn's getting cold.
- (phone rings)
- SAM: Hello?
Sammy? Where are you? It doesn't
take four hours to pick out a movie.
Oh! Actually,
I kinda forgot all about it.
OK! I guess well have to watch TV
instead. See you in a few minutes.
Can't. I'm going to a late movie
with James.
Guess you're not so concerned with us
spending quality time together.
Of course I am.
You guys are my best friends!
So that means you're still gonna
go running with us in the park tomorrow?
I will be there. I promise.
BOTH: Huh?
(musical car horn)
CLOVER:
She should've been here by now.
But Sammy would never miss out on our
ritual Thursday night shopping spree.
It's, like, a very important tradition.
Hey, girlfriend.
Ready for some shoppage?
Lemme guess. You can't go because
you're going out with James again.
So what if I am? I mean,
it's not my fault I have
a really cool boyfriend and you don't.
"Boyfriend?" Puh-lease, Sammy.
Like, you barely even know this guy!
Yeah.
You're totally rushing into things.
Fine, then. If that's the way you feel,
then maybe we shouldn't be friends
anymore!
BOTH: Fine!
James? You're early!
Yeah. Couldn't wait to see you, sweetie.
So what was all the yelling about?
You, actually. Alex and Clover
don't approve of our relationship.
If they don't approve,
then who needs 'em?
My feelings exactly.
So where we going on our date?
It's a surprise.
I can't believe how she's acting.
It's like she's possessed or something!
Yeah. Possessed by a mean, snotty jerk.
You don't think Mandy
has anything to do with this, do you?
Probably not.
Oh, well. At least we have our various
mall purchases to cheer us up.
- Uh, Clover, what's the rush?
- It isn't me, it's the car!
I can't control it!
It's like it has a mind of its own!
ALEX: I'm thinking it's time to bail.
- (they scream)
- Maybe we can escape through the trunk!
Quick, give me a nail file!
- What?
- Never mind.
SAM: James, this jet is the bomb!
Where did you get it?
It's my father's. He's in the military.
- He doesn't mind that you borrowed it?
- He doesn't know that I borrowed it.
Now hold on tight,
we're coming in for a landing.
SAM: This is where our surprise date is?
James, what's going on here?
The truth is, I brought you here
because I need your help.
You see, I know that you're a spy
working on the invisibility case.
The invisibility formula
is my father's invention.
Only, he intends to use it for evil.
So, when I heard you were on the case,
I posed as an exchange student
in your school to seek you out.
So you lied to me?
Only because I tried to get
the formula once myself and failed.
Sam, this doesn't change the fact
that I love you.
And if you love me,
you'll help me destroy the formula.
I don't know...
I need you, Sam,
and so does the rest of the world.
We need you to help stop my father.
With this formula, who knows
what he could be capable of?
OK. Let's do it.
JERRY: Oh, my!
What's happened to you?
Someone just tried to turn us
into roadkill.
Where's Sam? She wasn't hurt, was she?
Hardly.
She's out with her new boyfriend.
Apparently she doesn't have time to hang
out with her friends or be a spy.
(printer whirrs)
I've just received the analysis
on the smudge you sent.
Hmm. Very interesting.
The smudge is actually a face print.
Does this mean anything to you?
ALEX: Oh! James!
Guess now we have a pretty good idea
who messed with my car!
We've got to find Sam!
I've traced Sam's compowder to
the military base in Central America.
We've got to get there right away.
But how?
Ask a stupid question...
JAMES: Careful,
the floor is pressure sensitive.
One wrong step
and security will be all over us.
Don't worry, this Feline-Streamline
Catsuit should do the trick.
(pants)
Toss me the Phase-Changer Phaser.
Got it!
Clover! Alex! Stop it!
You're acting crazy!
Did you help James break in
and steal the invisibility formula?
It's not like that! James's father
plans to use the formula for evil.
We stole it so we could destroy it.
Yeah, right.
And Clover's hair is really that blonde.
(gasps) Sam, James is a criminal.
He nearly did us in today.
I can't believe you guys
are still so jealous!
Look, we'll prove to you we're on
a mission. We'll destroy the formula.
Actually, Sam,
your little friends are right.
I did try to get rid of them today.
Guess I should have tried harder.
What are you talking about? You're
not a criminal, you're my boyfriend.
(laughs) I was just using you. Truth is
I'd never date someone so... pathetic.
Anyway, now that you helped me steal
this, I'll be the ultimate criminal!
And my first crime will be to kidnap
the President and hold him for ransom.
Thanks to our White House project,
I know the building
like the back of my hand.
Bottoms up.
Oh, and Sam...
thanks for the memories, sweetie.
Quick, he's getting away!
CLOVER: Where'd he go?!
(they yell)
I can't believe how stupid I was
to believe him.
I am so sorry.
You guys must totally hate me.
It doesn't matter that you were
a total unbearable jerk.
Yeah. We still love you
no matter how lame you acted.
I'd love to get back at that weasel.
Then let's get out of this net
and get to Washington D.C. ASAP!
I'll have us outta here in a jiff!
How many of those things do you have!?
(they yell)
That's one of the military base
choppers.
CLOVER: James must be inside already!
How are we gonna get over this fence
without alerting the Secret Service?
All aboard the Eyelash Curler Catapult.
(all yelp)
SAM: Now how are we gonna find James?
He could be anywhere.
- Our best bet is to find the President.
- Shh! Someone's coming!
- Close one.
- Hey, Look!
The footprints just stop. It's James!
Huh?
Security breach in the West Wing!
Where'd he go?!
JAMES: Outta my way!
Not so fast!
- Sorry, but we're the good guys!
- (gasps)
Split up. We've got to find him
before he gets to the President.
Huh?
Get back here!
- There you are, you little...
- (fire alarm)
- Which way did he go?
- I don't know!
If only I had some kind of heat-sensing,
infra-red goggles.
I'd be able to find James.
Hey, wait! I do!
Oh, no! Where's the President?
JAMES: Right here with me.
Let him go, James!
You'll never make it out of here!
We'll just see about that!
Open wide, Mr. President.
- (he protests)
- No!
Who are you girls and why did you
break into the White House?
We told you! We're from WOOHP.
We're trying to stop a kidnapping
attempt on the President.
More like trying to kidnap
the President yourselves.
- Where is your other accomplice?
- She's probably chasing James.
- Sam's evil, invisible boyfriend!
- That's evil invisible ex-boyfriend.
- AGENT 3: The President is missing!
- Huh?
Don't let these two out of your sight!
JAMES: Get into the chopper!
(Alex shrieks)
(coughs)
- Shall we?
- After you.
I'll teach you to mess with my Sammy!
- Oopsie.
- JAMES: Is that the best you can do?
Not even close, pal.
JAMES: Looks like we're going down!
GIRLS: Gotcha!
Hold him while I administer the serum.
Thanks for saving the President, girls.
Oh, and sorry about the handcuffs.
Now who's pathetic, sweetie?
Take him away, boys.
Nice work, spies. I've got another
mission I need you to get on right away.
Oh, sorry, Jer. We plan on
"disappearing" for the weekend.
Yeah. We'll catch you later.
Here's to never letting anything
get in the way of our friendship again.
Especially not a boy.
From now on,
it's all about togetherness.
- BOTH: Deal!
- (they yelp)
TWINS: Oops! Sorry! My fault!
Hey! Where are you going?
Hello?
Oh, well. So much for togetherness.